Dracula and The 95 Theses of Martin Luther

February 28, 2018 at 11:48 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dracula and The 95 Theses of Martin Luther

Pope Alexander VI (Rodrigo Borgia) was walking incognito among the people in the streets of Rome on October 13th 1497.

He suddenly noticed a very very beautiful woman in an elegantly styled red dress walking the street.

The Borgia Pope (as he was called by his enemies) was definitely not immune to the charms of beautiful women despite his professed vows of priestly celibacy which he never really followed.

He walked over in her direction when he saw her.

The woman who noticed his approach smiled him a very warm and sensuous smile.

“Good evening, your Holiness,” she said in a voice as sultry as the warm autumn night over Rome.

“You know me?” The Pope was temporarily startled.

“I am the Cumaean Sibyl,” the woman replied, “There currently are and there will be many more in the future who say you definitely do not deserve the title Holiness. In fact, it will be your reign that will be held as most responsible for the thunderbolt that will strike the Church and the Papacy 20 years hence.”

“Thunderbolt? Twenty years hence?” Alexander VI was taken aback.

“Of course nothing to the foundations that will be shaken when a kraken meets the Pope over 520 years from now during the time of a rare snowstorm in Rome,” the Sibyl replied with a knowing smile prior to vanishing in the Roman night.

. . .

It was the evening of October 31st 1517 and the vampire Dracula was walking the streets of Wittenberg, Germany with some personal business he had to attend to.

He suddenly stopped in his tracks when he noticed a hooded monk running down the street carrying a huge leather bound bundle of papers in his arms along with a hammer and a very long nail.

He noticed the monk run up to the doors of All Saints’ Church ⛪ in Wittenberg and nail the volume of papers to the door.

The monk then looked around and not seeing anybody (for Dracula had turned himself into a black vaporous fog) immediately ran back to his monastery from which he came.

Dracula was innately curious as to what was in the documents.

He approached the door when he started feeling physically sick.

He had forgotten about the Cross on top of the Church ⛪.

Ever since he had asked the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith to bite him on the neck and turn him into a vampire as he lay dying on a January evening in the year 1477, the condition of Lilith granting his request was that he must sell his soul to the Devil.

Dracula had agreed and he had become deathly afraid of a Cross or a Crucifix ever since.

Despite the agony he felt as he approached the door underneath the Cross of Christ, curiosity was getting the better of him.

Was this what they meant when they said curiosity killed the cat?

Would curiosity now kill the bat 🦇?

He lumbered over and reached to grab the document.

Despite the most intense sensation of heartburn 💔 he had ever felt in his life, Dracula read through the entire document.

“Well,” Dracula said to himself as he limped away from the door beneath the Cross of Christ, “this is really going to rock the boat. Maybe even cause the Barque of Peter to sink some day.”

. . .

Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was reading an English translation of the Prophecies of the Cumaean Sibyl done by a Classics and Latin scholar at Cambridge University.

He had come across an interesting passage, “When a rare snowfall comes to Rome and a kraken meets with the Pope, know that…”

And then the rest of the passage wasn’t translated.

Whitstable cursed silently.

Snow had fallen in Rome Italy this past Monday.

And yesterday an anonymous source had sent him video footage from the Vatican showing a kraken entering Pope Francis’ apartment this past Monday night.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 28th
2018.

Permalink 26 Comments

Halloween 2017: 500th Anniversary of Protestant Reformation

October 31, 2017 at 8:03 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Halloween 2017: 500th Anniversary of Protestant Reformation

South African witch doctor Dr. Sterling Makabo was walking the streets of Wittenberg Germany on the 500th Anniversary of the Protestant Reformation’s beginning.

Dr. Makabo had the power to revive corpses from the dead as zombies and with his sense of humour, he decided to raise Martin Luther from his grave and have him re-post his 95 Theses on the door of All Saints Church in Wittenberg.

Luther’s corpse did that and was applauded by Halloween trick or treaters who were impressed by the spectacle.

Meanwhile in Rome, Pope Francis (ever anxious to show the world what a splendid ecumenist he was) posted the 95 Theses of Martin Luther on the door of Saint Peter’s Basilica while the Baphomet (who had been summoned by the Vampiric Knights-Templar) applauded vigorously with his multiple arms and legs.

Later, a Vatican Cardinal went down and nailed a copy of Anton LaVey’s The Satanic Bible to the door of Saint Peter’s Basilica as well.

Meanwhile Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal attacked various trick or treaters around the city and sucked their blood and then gave them candies afterwards.

And Donald Trump spent his Halloween in the Oval Office insulting more people in his Twitter tweets.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 31st
2017.

Permalink 17 Comments