Osiris and The Lost Nag Hammadi Scroll

November 25, 2016 at 6:24 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Osiris and The Lost Nag Hammadi Scroll

The ancient Egyptian vampire Osiris was in his Rome apartment enjoying a spaghetti omelette along with a bowl of Kellog’s Rice Crispies.

He had had an eventful four years since his return to Earth from the star system of Sirius back in 2012.

His returning space ship had disintegrated (with him aboard) when a Russian nuclear sub had fired a laser death ray at it.

Fortunately for him, the famous Swiss scientist Dr. Fahrenheit Celsius had been present in a nearby row boat with a working replica model of the CERN Large Hadron Collider that was able to gather up all the disintegrated atomic and sub-atomic particles.

At Halloween 2014, he Osiris had been resurrected again after his particles were put back together again by Dr. Cadbury Rocher (Normally Dr. Rocher worked for Osiris’ evil brother and brother-in-law Set but the two had had a falling out that month over financial funding for Dr. Rocher’s beloved Pegasus Project).

When Osiris had been re-assembled that Halloween but with a certain part of his anatomy missing (the same part of his anatomy that had gone missing millennia ago when Isis had put him back together after Set had dismembered him), that led to marital problems with his wife and sister Isis.

So Isis continued to live in Paris and he Osiris moved to Rome.

Since that time, Osiris had become interested in the matter of a lost Nag Hammadi scroll.

It had apparently become separated from the other scrolls in the 12 leather bound papyrus codices that were found near the Upper Egyptian town of Nag Hammadi in 1945.

The scroll was believed to be the Gnostic Gospel of The Wedding said to recount the marriage ceremony between Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene that certain Gnostic groups believed had taken place.

Osiris had gotten in touch with a Russian Jesuit priest Father Augustus Adonais who worked in the Vatican Archives.

Father Adonais believed that the Gospel of The Wedding had wound up in the Vatican Archives shortly after Carl Jung’s death in 1961 (The Carl Gustav Jung Institute in Zurich had purchased the Gnostic Gospels of the Nag Hammadi Scrolls in 1951).

The phone rang.

Osiris wiped the spaghetti and scrambled eggs off his chin and walked over to pick up the receiver.

It was Father Augustus Adonai phoning to tell him that he had found the Gospel of The Wedding.

He had found it underneath an envelope marked Pope Pius X’s Vision of What The Future Antichrist and Future False Prophet Will Look Like.

“Anyways, your Most Exalted Ancient Egyptian Majesty,” Father Augustus Adonais spoke, “I found a passage in the Gospel of The Wedding that might interest you.”

Father Adonais read him the passage.

Apparently Simon Peter objected most vigourously to the upcoming marriage between Jesus and Mary Magdalene.

Said Peter in the Gospel, “Be it far from thee, O Lord. Verily, verily, I say unto you that if you go through with this, one of your descendants will be wearing red spider monkey fur on his head for a hairpiece.”

Osiris looked at the TV screen where Donald Trump was giving an interview and hair was falling off of his head during the interview.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 25th
2016.

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Belvedere, Mitt Romney and The Mormon Archives

November 24, 2016 at 6:20 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Belvedere, Mitt Romney and The Mormon Archives

Belvedere the Ghost White Salamander and reporter for the Times of London was once again meeting with the London parking lot, office building and apartment building owning millionaire Ryan Rider.

Ryan Rider (through methods he didn’t elaborate on) had access to the files of the mysterious individual who called himself Robur The Conquerer (Robur was, as it turns out, a genetic clone of U.S. Civil War Confederate General Albert Pike who had been cloned from Pike’s DNA back in 1966 by Nazi scientist Eckhart Fromm who had been brought into the U.S. through Operation Paperclip).

“You have something for me, Mr. Rider?” Belvedere asked as he approached Rider’s office (a 4-door rusty gold coloured GMC truck) that was parked in the middle of the Not So Standard Parking Lot.

“Damn,” Rider swore, “someone just text messaged me asking me what my postal code is.”

The eccentric and postal code phobic millionaire started hyperventilating.

“Please get ahold of yourself, Mr. Rider,” Belvedere spoke exasperatedly, “On the phone, you said you discovered the reason why Donald Trump is making a rapprochement with his old Republican Party enemy Mitt Romney. There’s even talk that the President-elect may name Mitt Romney as his Secretary of State.”

“That’s right,” Ryan Rider grinned, “I’ve discovered the reason why Donald Trump is making a rapprochement with Mitt Romney.”

There was silence in the Not So Standard Parking Lot.

“Well would you mind telling me before Hell freezes over?” Belvedere stated as it started to snow in the Not So Standard Parking Lot.

Ryan Rider blew his nose and gazed at Belvedere, “Have you ever heard of the Mormon Archives, Mr. Belvdere?”.

“You mean the archives the Mormon Church keeps that have reams of genealogical research on families from all around the world?” Belvedere asked.

“That is correct, Mr. Belvedere,” Ryan Rider smiled with both a twinkle and a snowflake in his eye, “and do you know what is to be found in those Mormon Archives that is the direct cause of the rapprochement between Trump and Romney? What Romney discovered about the Trump family’s ancestry in those files that led Romney to reconcile with Trump?”.

“No,” Belvedere shook his head, “if I knew what was to be found in those Mormon Archives genealogical files that led to the rapprochement between Trump and Romney, I wouldn’t be standing here in this parking lot freezing my ghostly white salamander nuts off talking to you.”

“What Romney found,” Rider approached Belvedere and conspiratorially whispered in his ghostly white salamander ears, “is that Donald Trump is a direct descendant of the marriage between Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene.”

“Holy shit!” Belvedere exclaimed.

“Well I believe it was Holy Blood, Holy Grail that was the name of the book that first publicly postulated that there was a blood line in the world today that was directly descended from the marriage of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene,” Rider pointed out.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 22nd
2016.

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Easter 2016: A Poem

March 27, 2016 at 7:01 pm (History, News, Poetry, Religion, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , , )

Easter 2016: A Poem

Almost 2000 years ago, a tomb stood empty.
Empty of its occupant.
And the news of that event spread outwards from Jerusalem all over the world.
And light and love entered human hearts.

Today humanity’s hearts seem to stand empty of that light and love.
We have all of us made our hearts as empty as that tomb.
The heart of humanity has become like a tomb- an empty tomb- empty of Christ.
Holman Hunt once painted a picture of Christ standing knocking at the door of our hearts .
Today it would be a picture of Mary Magdalene standing outside our empty hearts asking, “My Lord is gone. And I do not know where they have lain Him.”

-A poem written by Christopher
Easter Sunday
Sunday March 27th
2016.

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