70th Anniversary of People’s Republic of China and Mei-ling Manchu Becoming A Vampiress

October 1, 2019 at 10:25 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

70th Anniversary of The People’s Republic of China and Mei-ling Manchu Becoming A Vampiress

0ctober 1st 2019.

Beijing.

The 70th Anniversary of the People’s Republic of China.

It was 70 years ago today that the Communist forces under Mao Tse-tung took control of most of mainland China while Chiang Kai-shek and his Kuomintang Nationalist forces fled to the island of Taiwan.

Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping marked the 70th anniversary by parading China’s latest military hardware through the streets of Beijing.

The latest missiles, warheads, drones and tanks passed by Xi’s viewing stand as he and his supernatural entity advisor the Black Dragon applauded vigorously.

In Taiwan rather ominously, a bridge collapsed in a major harbour trapping a fishing boat and overturning an oil tanker.

Hong Kong celebrated the 70th Anniversary of Communist rule in China by Hong Kong police shooting its first protestor with a live round ammunition bullet.

. . .

The 70th Anniversary of the Chinese Communist takeover was the last thing on Pope Francis’ mind at the Vatican as he sat at his desk and began the final preparations for this month’s Pan-Amazonia synod.

Last year he had sold out the members of China’s underground Catholic Church by entering into a treaty with the Beijing government that had been negotiated on the Vatican’s behalf by the predatory homosexual prelate the then Cardinal Theodore McCarrick.

Back in February of this year, Pope Francis had been forced to laicize Theodore McCarrick after he had been caught and exposed for his numerous crimes and misdemeanours.

A knock was heard on the door of Francis’ room.

It was the Zeus worshipping cardinal known as JM (which was the cardinal’s code name as head of the Vatican Secret Intelligence Service) inviting Pope Francis to receive a blessing from Amazon indigenous sha-men and sha-women who were assembled in the papal chapel.

. . .

Melania Trump was startled when she saw the ghostly figure of Abraham Lincoln standing before her in the corridor.

Tears were falling down Lincoln’s cheeks.

Meanwhile in the Oval Office, Melania’s husband Donald was busy tweeting about how civil war would break out in the U.S. should he the Donald be impeached.

. . .

This date of October 1st 2019 also marked 70 years since Mei-ling Manchu (who was a leading operative for the Chinese Ministry of State Security aka MSS) had become a vampiress.

Mei-ling (who had sided with Mao’s Communists against Chiang’s Nationalists during the Chinese Civil War of 1945-49) had marked the victory of the Chinese Communist forces on October 1st 1949 by allowing herself to be bitten by a vampire and turned into a vampiress as she stood on the balcony of Beijing’s Old Imperial Palace with victory celebration fireworks going off in the background.

Mei-ling Manchu: celebrating 70 years as a vampiress today.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 1st 
2019.

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Britain’s Supreme Court Rules Suspending Parliament Was Unlawful

September 24, 2019 at 10:55 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Britain’s Supreme Court Rules Suspending Parliament Was Unlawful 

“Back in the 1970s,” British MP
Renfield R. Renfield told the BBC News Interviewer, “Mr. Justice William Morrow the first Chief Justice of Canada’s Northwest Territories said the end of Western Civilization would be brought about not by student protestors or the actions of foreign powers but by imbeciles sitting as judges on the benches of court rooms everywhere.
History has shown Chief Justice Morrow to be a 100% prophet. What alarmed Chief Justice Morrow was what he considered the vast number of imbeciles who were teaching as professors in various law faculties at universities all across Canada back in the 1970s. He said their erroneous ideas which would overthrow 1500 years of legal traditions and precedents in the Western world would be passed on to their students who would become lawyers and eventually become judges. This has now become the norm in Canada. A judge somewhere making a stupid decision is no longer news. It’s a judge who makes a sensible decision that’s now considered news. So of course there aren’t many real news stories emerging from the Canadian judiciary these days. But what was happening in Canada at the time was also happening in the U.S. and the United Kingdom. So the Age of Imbecility now reigns supreme in the judiciary of all 3 of these nations. Any appointment to the U.S. Supreme Court that does not meet with the approval of Wiccan airhead Alyssa Milano and her fellow Wiccan airheads across America is immediately accused of sexual harassment. And as for stupidity in the UK Judicial system, that can be seen by today’s ruling by Britain’s Supreme Court. On the plus side at least judges are showing what they truly are. The fact that Britain’s Supreme Court President Lady Hale chose to read the court’s judgement while wearing a giant diamond spider brooch on her lapel was at least honest. Poison is now falling across the land.”

. . .

After a day speaking and meeting with people at the UN General Assembly, Donald Trump decided to relax by spending time in an NYC karaoke bar.

Standing on stage was some long haired and bearded type who looked like he could easily fit into the band ZZ Top.

The man began singing an old John Denver song, 

“High Calypso the places you’ve been to,
The things that you’ve shown us,
The stories you tell,
High Calypso, I sing to your spirit,
The men who have served you so long and so well…”

Donald Trump asked his secret service detail, “Who is this guy? He smells of marijuana smoke.”

“I believe he’s a sheriff from some place up in Canada called Calypso’s Bosom,” one of Trump’s secret service bodyguards answered.

“And is this the Calypso he’s singing about?” Trump’s tongue started hanging out and drooling, “Some woman’s bosom? I’d like to go to the places she’s been to as well. And also see the things that she’s shown the men who have served her so long and so well.”

“I believe the Calypso was the research ship for French undersea explorer Jacques Cousteau,” replied another member of Trump’s secret service detail who looked a lot like Detective Dietrich from the TV show Barney Miller.

“Oh,” Trump looked disappointed.

The sheriff of Calypso’s Bosom was carried off stage while ranting about free speech, Charles Laughton and the many breasts to be found on the statue of Diana of the Ephesians.

“What’s he doing down here in the U.S. anyways?” Trump asked his secret service bodyguard who looked a lot like KAOS agent Siegfried from the TV show Get Smart.

“I believe Justin Trudeau sent him down here on an important matter of Canadian national security,” the Siegfriedish bodyguard answered.

“Did anybody here get the licence plate of that ET gray’s space ship?” The Sheriff of Calypso’s Bosom asked as he was carried off on a stretcher.

“That makes perfect sense,” Trump nodded.

. . .

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was walking through New York City’s Central Park when he came across the Chinese vampiress secret agent Mei-ling Manchu who had been tied to a tree by Cthulhu the Great Old One who was currently in New York City contemplating a run for the U.S. Presidency.

“I hope I’m not interrupting the filming of some new type of reality TV show scheduled for the family viewing time slot,” Dracul remarked as he untied her.

“Are you the vampire hunter who’s into tantric sex?” Mei-ling asked after she was untied.

“I am,” Dracul answered.

“Take me now,” Mei-ling said as she threw Dracul back on a pile of autumn leaves and mounted him.

Rudy Giuliani dropped the legal brief he was reading when he walked by and saw what was happening.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher 
Tuesday September 24th
2019.

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Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman In New York City

September 22, 2019 at 11:28 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman In New York City

Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman was in New York City.

The Sheriff wasn’t quite sure what he was doing in the Big Apple.

The dining room chef ordered Jackman out of the huge fruit salad that he was making.

Sheriff Stonedwall beat a hasty retreat.

All Jackman could remember was that Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had sent him to NYC on a matter of important national security.

Only the Sheriff couldn’t remember what that important matter of national security was.

Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman had led an interesting life.

He had been born in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, Canada on Friday May 10th 1940 the same day that Winston Churchill had become Prime Minister of Great Britain.

His girlfriend the love of his life had broken up with him on Dominion Day (as it was then called) July 1st 1967 on the Main Street of Moose Jaw when he accidentally ran over her Love Bug Volkswagen with his farm tractor while looking for a place to park.

Furious, she had shoved his engagement ring in the place where the sun never shone.

Moose Jaw which wasn’t big enough to have a practicing proctologist in the city saw Thomas Jonathan Jackman buy a Greyhound Bus ticket to the Big City.

It turns out the Big City that Thomas Jonathan Jackman had bought a Greyhound bus ticket to was Vancouver, British Columbia on Canada’s West Coast.

Just as the U.S. Summer of Love (Summer of ’67) was about to begin in San Francisco, California so Canada’s Summer of Love was about to begin on British Columbia’s Lower Mainland and Vancouver Island.

Eating a dozen pieces of rhubarb pie during a Greyhound bus pit stop at a diner in Chilliwack British Columbia had cured Jackman’s need of finding a proctologist in downtown Vancouver.

And Thomas Jonathan Jackman found himself celebrating U.S. Independence Day of 1967 by smoking weed and inhaling chemicals with a group of hippies on Vancouver’s East Hastings Street.

Somehow by July 6th 1967 (the 20th Anniversary of the alleged Roswell New Mexico UFO space craft crash), Jackman had found himself in the Village of Calypso’s Bosom which was a New Age Aquarian hippy commune on British Columbia’s Sechelt Peninsula not far from the town of Sechelt itself.

On July 22nd of that year 1967, Thomas Jonathan Jackman had earned his name Stonedwall when he hit his head against a brick wall in the village while stoned.

No one was quite sure how the brick wall got there but according to the village’s visionary and prophet (who was later carried off by a pterodactyl on Christmas Day of that same year), the slab of brick wall had come from the future and was the inaugural piece of some wall that had been officially inaugurated on the U.S. – Mexico border by some golden urine hair coloured toupee wearing bozo named Donald Trump sometime in the early 2020s according to the said visionary’s visions.

The piece of wall was later destroyed when a cloud had rained several thousand tons of Mexican tamales from heaven.

On August 1st Lammas Night of 1967, after the character of the Devil from a future Susan Howatch novel had appeared to villagers, Thomas Jonathan “Stonedwall” Jackman was elected Sheriff of the Village of Calypso’s Bosom.

Not of course that the laws of Her Majesty Elizabeth II Queen of Canada were ever enforced in the village of Calypso’s Bosom as the primary diet consisted of marijuana (whose use was then illegal in Canada) as well as various chemical substances (whose use was still illegal today).

1967 soon became 1968 and 1968 soon became 1969 and all the years became blended into one like Lonesome Charlie’s blended milkshake of frogs and tequila (which drained a nearby swamp of its frog population and a nearby BC Government Liquor Store of its tequila products) which no one but Lonesome Charlie drank (thus earning him the epithet Lonesome Charlie).

Everything changed for the village of Calypso’s Bosom on the evening of July 20th/21st 1969 when all the villagers had assembled in the Village Square in front of the village’s communal black and white television set to watch the Apollo 11 moon landing.

When Neil Armstrong walked down the ladder of the lunar module and spoke these words, “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for….” the TV went off, all the village lights went off and the entire village of Calypso’s Bosom vanished into oblivion.

It would re-emerge again once every 7 years much like the Scottish village of Brigadoon rises out of the Scottish mist once every 100 years, so too does the Sechelt Peninsula New Age Aquarian hippy commune of Calypso’s Bosom emerge out of the marijuana haze once every 7 years.

Disappearing in 1969, it had re-emerged in 1976 and had watched a peanut farmer win the U.S. Democratic Presidential nomination.

7 years later in 1983, it watched the height of the Cold War as a former head of the KGB Yuri Andropov had become the head of the Soviet Union.

In 1990, it again re-emerged (not always on the exact anniversary of its disappearance) and watched George H.W. Bush give a speech proclaiming a New World Order in response to Saddam Hussein’s invasion of Kuwait.

In 1997, they watched Bill Clinton “not” having sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky as an Oval Office broadcast was transmitted to their communal black and white TV screen by a Jeffrey Epstein owned satellite.

In 2004, they watched John Kerry reporting for duty at the U.S. Democratic Party Presidential Convention.

In 2011, they watched the Arab Spring unfold before it turned into a radical militant Islamist Winter.

In 2018, they watched Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou being arrested at Vancouver International Airport on the orders of the U.S. government.

The period of rest for Calypso’s Bosom was interrupted by Chinese government agents bringing a pot smoking desert cactus plant named Strawberry Fields Forever to the village and a few months later, the same Chinese government agents were again interrupting the village’s sleep by seizing the pot smoking desert cactus plant and taking it to a government re-education camp for transgendered Uighurs in the Xinjiang region of western China.

During that last interruption, Sheriff Stonewalled Jackman had foolishly left the commune of Calypso’s Village to take a swim on the beach at the town of Sechelt.

By the time he returned minus both his towel and his swimming trunks, the village had disappeared into the surrounding marijuana haze again.

Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman then got a job in charge of airport security at Victoria Airport on Vancouver Island (Sheriff Jackman was hired because he looked much younger than his age since he had had so many 7 year periods of rest).

It was there this past September 12th that a robot had driven the Federal Liberal Party Campaign Bus into the Federal Liberal Party Campaign Plane.

After a conversation with an intelligent squirrel at the Airport, Sheriff Jackman had discovered that the robot had been built by an electronics firm in Shanghai China that was owned by Mei-ling Manchu and Ho Babylon Minh who were both intelligence operatives for the Beijing government and the two intelligence operatives responsible for the butchering of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s pot smoking cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever.

That, Sheriff Jackman suspected, as he emerged from the depths of the fruit salad he was in in the New York City hotel kitchen, had something to do with the national security matter that Canada’s Justin Trudeau had sent him on.

It had to do with Mei-ling Manchu releasing photographs of Justin Trudeau wearing blackface and brownface.

It had to do with Mei-ling Manchu being at the opening of the UN General Assembly this week.

But that was about all he remembered.

He hoped he ran into that intelligent squirrel again who would explain everything to him.

He went back to his hotel room and opened a package that said Uncle Ernie’s Chemical of The Day Club (as opposed to Book of the Month Club) that bore an Australian post mark.

Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman inhaled the contents of the package and began singing,

“Fly little white dove fly 
way up high
Spread your wings
Sing out your cry 
across the universal sky…”

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Sunday September 22nd 
2019.


Sheriff Stonedwall Jackman encounters a pair of conspirators from the year 1944 as he sings about little white doves flying high and singing out their cry across the universal sky.

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Supreme Idiot Justin Trudeau and The Blackface Affair: Once Was Not Enough

September 19, 2019 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Supreme Idiot Justin Trudeau and The Blackface Affair: Once Was Not Enough

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was on the phone talking to his good friend the Chinese Communist vampiress and intelligence operative Mei-ling Manchu.

“So, you mean to say, Mei-ling,” Renfield had himself another shot of Old Taylor bourbon, “that it was you who leaked that old school yearbook photo of Justin Trudeau dressed in brown face at the school Arabian Nights Theme Party to TIME Magazine?”.

“It was,” Mei-ling painted her nails with a crocodile’s tooth dipped in Canadian business men’s blood red coloured nail polish, “we also leaked two other photos today. One was a photo of him in High School dressed up to look like Harry Belafonte and committing musical homicide on the song Day-o. That one he admitted to. The other was a photo he had forgotten about where he was dressed up as what the 1980s Thriller era Michael Jackson would have looked like if the 1980s Thriller era Michael Jackson had actually looked black instead of white.”

“Gives a whole new meaning to Vincent Price’s spoken words “Darkness falls across the land”,” Renfield had to admit.

“The midnight hour is close at hand,” Mei-ling turned over her blood red sands filled hour glass, “anyways we’ve got a bunch of other photos of him dressed in blackface which we plan to release in the next few days.”

“Justin has said he’s now forgotten the amount of times he might have put on blackface,” Renfield noted.

“He could blame it on smoking marijuana but then he told the media he only smoked marijuana once,” Mei-ling started putting on black widow spider’s black poison on her eyelashes as mascara.

“And his pot smoking cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever is now no more,” Renfield helped himself to some strawberries and whipped cream.

“Yes and our People’s Republic Ministry of State Security operatives are currently scouring the Australian countryside in search of Strawberry Fields Forever’s two twin cactus clippings children,” Mei-ling ate a fried kangaroo’s leg sandwich.

“Why does the Chinese Communist Party have it in for Justin Trudeau?” Renfield ate some frogs’ legs.

“Because that weasel refuses to release Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou from Canadian soil,” Mei-ling started eating some weasel pie.

“I guess this is what happens to Justin for spreading his derrière across both sides of the U.S. political spectrum,” Renfield ate his peanut butter and jam sandwich, “First he’s Barack Obama’s ‘bitch’ one minute. And then he’s Donald Trump’s ‘bitch’ the next.”

“Just wait until we release the photos of him dressed as Charlie Chan the Chinese detective (always played by Caucasians) movie character of the 1930s and 1940s,” Mei-ling ate her San Francisco chop suey and drank her Hawaiian coconut milk.

“Justin once played Inspector Charlie Chan?” Renfield was shocked.

“He did,” Mei-ling fanned her breasts with the severed fingers of Harvey Weinstein’s lesser known twin brother.

“I thought for someone like Justin, it would be more appropriate if he played the role of Number Two son,” Renfield mused aloud.

. . .

Justin Trudeau showed up at the media scrummage dressed in blackface and tearfully admitted, “I can’t remember how many times I’ve dressed in blackface.”

“Why are you dressed in blackface now?” A reporter asked.

“I don’t find that remark very funny,” Justin commented as the charcoal watered down his face like Niagara Falls.

When an aide signalled to Justin that the reporter was in fact correct, the Canadian Prime Minister screamed for a mirror to be brought to him.

Grabbing the mirror and seeing his own reflection, Justin remarked, “Oh shit. My wife Sophie was correct when she told me that I had put on way too much makeup this evening.”

. . .

Down at the Canadian Federal Liberal Party headquarters in Ottawa, a member of the National Liberal Party Executive was telephoning world famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes (the quite literally immortal lesser known twin sister of Sherlock Holmes) and asking her if she could come to Canada and tomato Justin Trudeau’s buttocks in an effort to stop him from coming across as a fool and having bimbo eruptions in public.

“Well that’s quite the impossible task you’re asking me to do,” Sherrielock admitted, “but then as Don Quixote sang in the musical Man of La Mancha, “To dream the impossible dream…”

Sherrielock Holmes: About to take on a next to impossible task?

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Thursday September 19th
2019.

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Chaos Rising As The Cosmos Crumbles

September 12, 2019 at 10:57 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Chaos Rising As The Cosmos Crumbles

Pan Goatee was walking across the street when a man and his German shepherd dog happened to walk by.

The dog kept staring at Pan Goatee.

Finally Goatee said to the dog’s owner, “Doesn’t your dog know it’s not proper etiquette to stare?”.

Whereupon he beheaded both the German shepherd and its owner.

A little further down the street came an ugly looking woman riding a bicycle.

“What is it about autumn that seems to bring out ugly looking women on bicycles?” Goatee thought to himself.

The woman looked like she had stuck all her fingers and all her toes in an electric socket as her hair style seemed to resemble that of the Bride of Frankenstein on a bad (as opposed to her usually good) hair day.

“Good-bye, uglo,” Goatee commented as he beheaded her.

. . .

“What do you think of my naming Kermit the Frog as my national security advisor?” Donald Trump asked his British butler and valet Lexington, “Do you think that I should give old Kermy a call?”.

“A most inspired choice,” Lexington admitted.

. . .

Meanwhile on the second day of the Canadian Federal election campaign, a Liberal Party campaign bus had struck and clipped the wing of the Liberal Party campaign plane on the airport tarmac outside Victoria, British Columbia.

After an investigation conducted by the Sheriff of the Village of Calypso’s Bosom (a New Age Aquarian hippy commune on the Sechelt Peninsula that was analogous to Scotland’s Village of Brigadoon although the hippy commune appeared once every 7 years instead of once every 100 like the mythical Scottish village) who was in charge of Airport Security, it was determined that the driver of the bus was a robot built and assembled by Mei-ling Manchu and Ho Babylon Minh Computer Electronics in Shanghai, China.

Of course the Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu and the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh were both Beijing government intelligence operatives believed to have been involved in the cactusnapping, torture and subsequent murder of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s pet pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever in retaliation for the U.S. ordered Vancouver arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou. 

A spokesman for the Chinese Embassy in Ottawa issued a statement, “The People’s Republic of China can neither confirm nor deny that it is seeking to bump off Justin Trudeau.”

Later that day, Justin Trudeau came down with food poisoning in Edmonton after eating at Ho-Ho’s Chinese Food on the University of Alberta campus.

. . .

The Egyptian god Anubis was out walking the streets of London at night when he happened to run into British Prime Minister Boris Johnson.

“Evening, Anubis,” Johnson greeted him in Ancient Greek seeing as how he had been a Classics scholar at Oxford, “How are you? Tell me, why is it these days (and nights) that you’re now sporting a metallic cyborg jackal head when you used to have an actual real animal jackal head?”.

“Well, a few years ago, I was beheaded by Pan Goatee when I happened to look at him the wrong way,” Anubis explained, “and of course being immortal, I didn’t die when I was beheaded. But it just so happened that an overly frisky Dobermann ran off with my jackal head that night and I was unable to get it back. So Dr. Cadbury Rocher from my dad’s research and development firm Set Enterprises kindly built this new metallic cyborg jackal head for me.”

“Jolly decent of him,” Johnson answered in Ciceronian Latin.

“Tell me,” Anubis asked Johnson in koine Greek, “why do you feel it’s imperative that Britain leave the EU with or without a deal on Halloween?”.

“Well,” Johnson replied in ancient Carthaginian, “the demons Baal and Baphomet have commissioned a Vatican Cardinal Samhain Cardinal Salaman to say the ancient Celtic Druidic Mass of Samhain this Halloween on the Republic of Ireland/UK Northern Ireland border which will forever enslave all of Britain to the Stalinist-Trotskyite synthesis European Union that George Soros, Pope Francis and the Rothschilds are seeking to build.”

“Wow, what a bummer,” Anubis started having flashbacks of what the overly frisky Dobermann did to his jackal head that night.

“Yes, quite the shitty situation,” Johnson recited in 21st Century contemporary English prose.

. . .

“So,” Russian President Vladimir Putin asked his guest Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu in Moscow, “can you tell me if it’s true that this coming September 25th 2019 (which is the 5780th anniversary of the day that Jewish tradition holds that the world was created) that the Israeli Sanhedrin has invited the Organization of 70 Nations to perform an animal sacrifice on the Mount of Olives to renew the Noahide Covenant?”.

“The government of Israel can neither confirm nor deny that,” Netanyahu answered.

“Can you tell me if it’s true,” Putin then asked, “what it said in that article in Politico magazine that Israel has been spying on the U.S. in a StingRay operation ever since Donald Trump moved into the White House?”.

“That is a blatant lie,” Netanyahu wagged his finger, “the Israeli government does not spy on nor engage in intelligence operations in the U.S.!”.

Putin looked out the window of his office where he noticed a Jeffraken (a Kraken with the head of Jeffrey Epstein) walking down the street waving an American flag and carrying a Victoria’s Secret shopping bag.

“Why did your nose grow bigger after you made that statement?” Putin asked.

“My nose did not grow bigger,” Netanyahu started to protest until he looked at himself in the mirror, “Oh shit, it did.”

Netanyahu knew he couldn’t hit the Israeli campaign trail this weekend looking like a Disney cartoon character wooden puppet who gets his advice from a cricket.

The Israeli Prime Minister put in a hasty call to the Doctor Faberge Rachmaninoff Plastic Surgery Clinic in Moscow.

. . .

In Hong Kong, British MI-6 Operative Lili Marlene sat in a Hong Kong lounge next to a large marble head of the immortal princess Kwan Yin (who was venerated as the Buddhist Mother Goddess of Mercy by some groups of Buddhists):

Lili Marlene was a French woman and so used to work for France’s external intelligence agency the DGSE.

However last year, French President Emmanuel Macron had made a pass at Lili Marlene’s mother at a Parisienne cocktail party.

Within 24 hours, an angry Lili Marlene had defected to Britain’s MI-6.

Today she was in Hong Kong keeping tabs on the supernatural power struggle between the ancient Great Old One Cthulhu and the supernatural entity known as the Black Dragon.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Thursday September 12th
2019.

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The Last Hours of Strawberry Fields Forever

September 5, 2019 at 11:04 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The Last Hours of Strawberry Fields Forever

“Performing live human sacrifices to Moloch is the way we can stop climate change from giving hot flashes to Earth Mother Goddess Gaia.”

-Bernie Sanders, senile socialist Democratic Party candidate for President of the U.S.

CNN’s Anderson Cooper: At a campaign stop today, Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders was hit in the face with a cream pie thrown at him by an invisible entity.
Although according to Harvey Wallbanger drinking secret service agents assigned to guard Sanders (who’s no relation to the beloved Kentucky colonel who invented KFC), it was a 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka bunny rabbit who threw the cream pie.

. . .

Meanwhile up in Canada, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was quite impressed with a British House of Lords friend of Renfield R. Renfield singing a song in the House of Lords about British Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn miraculously growing a pair of testicles.

Trudeau thought it might be cool if he miraculously grew a pair of testicles as well.

So Justin imagined what it would be like if he had a pair of testicles.

Picturing himself with a sudden shot of testosterone, Justin gave a blistering speech attacking China for holding two Canadians Michael Kovrig and Michael Spavor hostage in return for the release of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou from Canada.

Said Trudeau who imagined himself as a Québécois John Wayne riding tall in the saddle, “Beijing is using pressure tactics. China is using arbitrary detention as a tool to achieve political goals.”

Of course Justin never mentioned that his personal pet pot smoking cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever was also being held hostage by Chinese authorities in return for the release of Meng Wanzhou.

“This is unacceptable to Canada,” Justin preached to the editorial board of the Toronto Star newspaper.

Of course Justin’s new found Sylvester Stallone style Rambo act went over like a lead balloon with China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping and his supernatural entity advisor the Black Dragon.

With the music of Led Zeppelin’s Stairway To Heaven playing in the background, the Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu entered the prison cell of Strawberry Fields Forever where he was being held in a re-education camp for transgendered Uighurs in the Xinjiang region of northwest China.

She had a pair of pliers and pair of scissors with her.

As the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (the granddaughter of Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh) filmed the whole thing, Mei-ling Manchu ripped and peeled the little desert cactus plant to pieces as it uttered blood curdling screams.

Ho uploaded the video to Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram.

The pieces were then put in a box and sent via Amazon parcel delivery to Justin’s home in Ottawa.

The Chinese authorities wisely did not use Canada Post as it would probably take another 70 years before the package reached its destination.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Thursday September 5th
2019.


Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu having a refreshing cocktail after having dismembered Strawberry Fields Forever the pet pot smoking cactus plant of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

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Mei-ling Manchu and The Manchester Tea House of The August Moon

August 1, 2019 at 10:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Mei-ling Manchu and The Manchester Tea House of The August Moon

The Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (daughter of the early 20th Century scientist Dr. Fu Manchu who was severely libelled and slandered by British novelist Sax Rohmer) sat in a Japanese tea house in Manchester, England.

The name of the tea house was Tea House of The August Moon named after the famous 1956 movie.

She would be meeting British MP Renfield R. Renfield (the new Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering) to exchange information.

“So,” Renfield asked as he sipped his tea, “how will Xi react to Donald Trump’s announcement today that the American Twitterer-In-Chief will slap a 10% tariff on another $300 billion of Chinese goods this coming September 1st?”.

Mei-ling opened her purse and pulled out a fortune cookie.

She handed the fortune cookie to Renfield.

“I’ve written down what his response will be on the message inside this fortune cookie,” she answered.

Renfield cracked open the fortune cookie and pulled out the slip of paper inside.

The slip of paper reached down to the floor as Renfield unfolded it.

“Wow, this is the longest fortune cookie message I’ve ever come across,” Renfield remarked as he finally finished unfolding the slip of paper.

“I want you to read it, memorize it and then eat it,” Mei-Ling directed, “that will prevent its content falling into the wrong hands.”

Renfield read and memorized the contents of the fortune cookie message.

Then he looked at Mei-ling, “You really want me to eat all this?”.

“Yes,” Mei-ling nodded.

The British MP started to eat the long slip of paper.

He had to pause and ask the tea house’s geisha girl dressed waitress for another tall glass of ice water every few minutes so he could wash down what he had eaten.

When he had finished eating the long slip of paper, Renfield remarked, “Well, I guess I won’t have to worry about having dinner tonight.”

“Is there anything else you’d like to know?” Mei-ling asked.

“It depends,” Renfield answered, “how many other fortune cookies with slips of paper do you have in your purse?”.

“That was the only one,” Mei-ling stated.

“All right,” Renfield started sipping his tea again, “I understand that PLA soldiers based in Hong Kong released a video today showing how they would deal with protestors. Is Xi planning to unleash the military on pro-democracy protestors in Hong Kong?”.

“Well the Black Dragon who’s his supernatural entity advisor is certainly encouraging him to do so,” Mei-ling sipped her tea.

“It appears I live in interesting times,” Renfield mused aloud.

“And so do we all,” Mei-ling smiled and then pointed at the table, “Are you going to eat your fortune cookie?”.

Renfield looked at the large pieces of the large fortune cookie that contained the long message.

He shook his head, “I don’t think so. I think I’ll take it home and give it to Amadeus. That should keep him full for all of two seconds.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 1st
2019.

The night Mei-ling Manchu became a vampiress almost 70 years ago

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Renfield, Huawei, Game of Thrones and Mei-ling Manchu

May 16, 2019 at 8:53 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Television, The Supernatural, TV Shows, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was sipping on a whiskey and soda and recalling how last night’s British Transhumanist/Aquarian Age Bonapartist Alliance rally held on an English beach was hugely successful.

Renfield had given a highly acclaimed speech on how the European Union seemed to be resembling the old USSR with each passing day.

His French political ally the Kraken Napoleon VI (having drunk 120 barrels of rum on his voyage across the English Channel) had given an impassioned speech on how, in his opinion, Captain Jack Sparrow of the Pirates of The Caribbean films was a real and actual historical figure.

The speech was met with vigourous applause prior to the Kraken passing out and having to be carried off by stretcher and air ambulance to the detox unit of a London hospital.

Tabasco sauce sellers, tomato juice sellers and merchants of raw eggs were reporting a huge increase in sales all across London today.

Renfield was soon joined in the bar by his friends Amadeus Emanon and Angelique Dumont.

Amadeus helped himself to some of the complimentary peanuts in the dish in front of Renfield.

“So I hear that yesterday Donald Trump signed an Executive Order declaring a national emergency with regards to America’s computer networks,” Amadeus noted.

“Yes, it is a move designed to keep China’s tech giant Huawei out of providing software for America’s computer and AI and 5G systems,” Renfield commented.

“I don’t imagine Beijing will be happy about that,” Angelique Dumont remarked.

“They’re not,” Renfield answered, “The Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu has already flown that mysterious entity known as the Black Dragon into Washington DC and has already swooped down on the U.S. capital.”

“Did it do any damage?” Amadeus asked as he motioned to the bartender to bring another dish of complimentary peanuts.

“It landed on top of a group of Republican supporters and fans of the Game of Thrones TV show who were holding placards outside the White House calling on Donald Trump to declare a national emergency and sign an Executive Order ordering HBO to hire new writers and re-do the whole 8th and last season of Game of Thrones all over again since they didn’t like how the series ended.”

“I wonder what those Game of Thrones fans who are registered Democrats were doing at the time?” Angelique Dumont mused aloud.

“They were demonstrating outside Congress calling on Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer to call a Congressional inquiry into whether or not there was Russian collusion into HBO laying a very early pre-Thanksgiving turkey otherwise known as the final season of Game of Thrones,” Renfield pointed out.

“Did anything happen to the Democrat fans of Game of Thrones seeing as how a Black Dragon landed on top of Republican Game of Thrones fans?” Amadeus inquired.

“They were crushed by a flying marijuana plant that landed on top of them,” Renfield answered, “The plant was developed by Canada’s National Research Council in Ottawa on orders of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. The plant was supposed to be flying to Paris where Trudeau is currently attending a world leaders’ summit on technology but being quite high, the marijuana plant lost all sense of direction and ended up in Washington DC instead.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 16th
2019.

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The Maltese Falcon At Mar-A-Lago: A Poem

April 3, 2019 at 10:46 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Poetry, Romance, Spy Tales, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Narrator of poem:

“How are ya, sweetheart?
I’m the ghost of Humphrey Bogart
I was recently challenged by my friend the ghost of Orson Welles
to see if I still got tough guy and private eye skills
that I used to have in my movies.

So I took him up on his challenge and headed down to Florida
The site of one of my popular films Key Largo
I heard about this swanky place down there called Mar-a-Lago
A private Palm Beach, Florida club owned by a temper tantrum throwing
spoiled brat billionaire named Donald Trump
Imagine my surprise when I heard this bozo
was also the President of the United States
The country has certainly gone down hill
since the days of Harry Truman
I figure.

Anyways a Chinese lady spy named Yujing Zhang
was arrested at the club trying to enter it with a
thumb drive containing malware
I had no idea what a thumb drive is
Thought it might be that a car was driven by your thumb
instead of both hands in this day and age
or maybe some newly designed form of golf club
they came up with that quite literally relies on the rule of thumb
And as for malware, I thought it was some guy named Mel Ware
who just might be the uncle of Token Ware
a female character in a Raymond Chandler Philip Marlowe story

I was set straight on the new developments in technology
by the ghosts of eccentric Serb-American inventor Nikola Tesla
and some British guy named Alan Turing
who made a name for himself in mathematics

Anyways it turns out this Yujing Zhang wasn’t the only femme fatale
causing intrigue down at Club Mar-a-Lago
Some woman named Li Cindy Yang is also involved
It turns out she owns a massage parlour
where prostitution is said to be going on
on the premises
One of her arrested johns was a Mr. Robert Kraft
the owner of a football team called The New England Patriots
The case is made even more interesting by the fact
that the team’s quarterback Tom Brady
claims he’s able to win football games
through the help of his wife
Gisele Bundchen
who’s a witch.

The whole thing reminds me of a film my friend Veronica Lake
made back in 1942
called I Married A Witch

So you can imagine my surprise when I walked through the door
of Club Mar-a-Lago
and saw the Maltese Falcon on the table
That old bird that appeared in the film by that title
That I starred in back in 1941

Around the table lay the bodies of various secret service agents
who had been completely drained of blood
A beautiful Chinese woman wearing a white evening dress
stood outside the club dining room window
in the middle of the pouring rain

“That most enchanting and intriguing woman is the Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu,”
The ghost of Orson Welles arrived in the nick of time
sipping a glass of red wine,
“She’s the daughter of Dr. Fu Manchu the famous scientist
whose exploits were written about in the novels of Sax Rohmer”.

“What’s she doing here?” I asked Welles.
Welles smiled, “She’s hidden a bunch of condoms owned by the Knights of Malta
in that Maltese Falcon.
That way when they’re found by law enforcement authorities
who are already on their way over here
The find will prove to be problematic and embarrassing
for both Donald Trump and Pope Francis
And the Chinese government will have killed two birds with one stone.”

“Well, that explains the pair of sunglass wearing dead pink flamingos I passed by on the lawn on the way in then,” I remarked
“Those are actually lawn ornaments knocked over by drunken country club members,” Welles finished his wine.

I noticed Mei-ling Manchu approach a fire-breathing Black Dragon
and crawl on to its back
“Off to Venezuela,” she said, “There to watch the Donald play his final Trump card before we divide this land between ourselves and the Russians.”
She and the Dragon flew off into the night sky

I walked outside to watch the Dragon and the vampiress depart
I looked down at the two pink flamingos and remarked to Welles,
“Well, I suppose the problems of two flamingos don’t amount to a hill of beans in this world.”
Welles lit himself a cigar and remarked, “Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But someday and soon.”
Some young woman named Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez stood outside the club and waved a document called the Green New Deal.

“Bogey on the 18th hole,” the ghost of Arnold Palmer remarked as he walked by with his golf clubs.

I laughed, patted Welles on the shoulder and said,
“You know, Orson, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship”
As we walked off into the misty greens.

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 3rd
2019.

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Renfield Wears A T-Shirt and Signs Autographs

February 10, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield R. Renfield was the man of the hour in Britain after his successful appearance on a special PBS episode of Firing Line in which the ghost of William F. Buckley Jr. interviewed the MP.

Militant atheist Richard Dawkins (after an appearance in which he publicly burnt his jock strap that had on it a picture of Michelangelo’s Jehovah creating Adam as depicted on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel) issued a statement, “I have to admit I was impressed by the seeming authenticity of the show. It does look like an episode of Firing Line that would have been directed by Orson Welles had Mr. Welles ever directed an episode of Firing Line. And Buckley’s ghost does come across like Buckley’s ghost would if he ever did a posthumous interview as the interviewer. But as every person who has absorbed my intelligent insight and analysis of the cosmos knows, “There are no ghosts or vampires or mythological beings in actual existence. There is no Heaven, Hell or Purgatory. And there’s definitely no God.”

“I say,” Amadeus Emanon spoke to his girlfriend Angelique Dumont as he ate some popcorn and watched Dawkins on television, “If Dawkins as a militant atheist is burning his jockstrap with a picture of Michelangelo’s Creating Adam on it in imitation of the militant feminists of the late 1960s publicly burning their bras, now my knowledge of history might be somewhat misty but didn’t the militant feminists of the late 1960s at least take their bras off first?”.

“Oh shit,” Dawkins could be heard screaming as someone rushed forward with a fire extinguisher to extinguish his smouldering jockstrap.

“Maybe Dawkins will compose an atheist hymn with the lyrics Nearer My Jockstrap To Thee,” Renfield remarked as he signed autographs from adoring fans and wore a t-shirt that said,

GILLETTE:
The Fruitiest A Man Can Get.

Meanwhile American Catholic bishops and their priestly advisors were packing Gillette shaving products in their suitcases as they headed off to Rome for The Vatican Special Meeting On Predatory Pederast Priests.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau looked at the RCMP report in front of him.

The report detailed the investigation into the abduction of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s personal pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever who had been kidnapped by the Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (daughter of Dr. Fu Manchu) last December and would only be released when Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou was released fully from custody and not extradited to the U.S.

Justin missed his little cannabis pot smoking greenhouse buddy with the prickly needles and his whacky weedy smile.

But the RCMP were unable to find the lost 1960s hippy commune of Calypso’s Bosom on the Canadian West Coast’s Sechelt Peninsula where the marijuana smoking desert plant was being held.

Seeing as how the commune was an Age of Aquarius New Age equivalent of Scotland’s mythical mystical village of Brigadoon, that was no surprise.

. . .


Semiramis the Queen of Babylon to her date Dracul Van Helsing before going out: How do you like my high heeled shoes, Dracul darling?
The better to crush my ex-husband Nimrod the little green frog with, don’t you think?

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday February 10th
2019.

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