Mei-ling Manchu and The Manchester Tea House of The August Moon

August 1, 2019 at 10:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Mei-ling Manchu and The Manchester Tea House of The August Moon

The Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (daughter of the early 20th Century scientist Dr. Fu Manchu who was severely libelled and slandered by British novelist Sax Rohmer) sat in a Japanese tea house in Manchester, England.

The name of the tea house was Tea House of The August Moon named after the famous 1956 movie.

She would be meeting British MP Renfield R. Renfield (the new Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering) to exchange information.

“So,” Renfield asked as he sipped his tea, “how will Xi react to Donald Trump’s announcement today that the American Twitterer-In-Chief will slap a 10% tariff on another $300 billion of Chinese goods this coming September 1st?”.

Mei-ling opened her purse and pulled out a fortune cookie.

She handed the fortune cookie to Renfield.

“I’ve written down what his response will be on the message inside this fortune cookie,” she answered.

Renfield cracked open the fortune cookie and pulled out the slip of paper inside.

The slip of paper reached down to the floor as Renfield unfolded it.

“Wow, this is the longest fortune cookie message I’ve ever come across,” Renfield remarked as he finally finished unfolding the slip of paper.

“I want you to read it, memorize it and then eat it,” Mei-Ling directed, “that will prevent its content falling into the wrong hands.”

Renfield read and memorized the contents of the fortune cookie message.

Then he looked at Mei-ling, “You really want me to eat all this?”.

“Yes,” Mei-ling nodded.

The British MP started to eat the long slip of paper.

He had to pause and ask the tea house’s geisha girl dressed waitress for another tall glass of ice water every few minutes so he could wash down what he had eaten.

When he had finished eating the long slip of paper, Renfield remarked, “Well, I guess I won’t have to worry about having dinner tonight.”

“Is there anything else you’d like to know?” Mei-ling asked.

“It depends,” Renfield answered, “how many other fortune cookies with slips of paper do you have in your purse?”.

“That was the only one,” Mei-ling stated.

“All right,” Renfield started sipping his tea again, “I understand that PLA soldiers based in Hong Kong released a video today showing how they would deal with protestors. Is Xi planning to unleash the military on pro-democracy protestors in Hong Kong?”.

“Well the Black Dragon who’s his supernatural entity advisor is certainly encouraging him to do so,” Mei-ling sipped her tea.

“It appears I live in interesting times,” Renfield mused aloud.

“And so do we all,” Mei-ling smiled and then pointed at the table, “Are you going to eat your fortune cookie?”.

Renfield looked at the large pieces of the large fortune cookie that contained the long message.

He shook his head, “I don’t think so. I think I’ll take it home and give it to Amadeus. That should keep him full for all of two seconds.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 1st
2019.

The night Mei-ling Manchu became a vampiress almost 70 years ago

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Renfield, Huawei, Game of Thrones and Mei-ling Manchu

May 16, 2019 at 8:53 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Television, The Supernatural, TV Shows, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was sipping on a whiskey and soda and recalling how last night’s British Transhumanist/Aquarian Age Bonapartist Alliance rally held on an English beach was hugely successful.

Renfield had given a highly acclaimed speech on how the European Union seemed to be resembling the old USSR with each passing day.

His French political ally the Kraken Napoleon VI (having drunk 120 barrels of rum on his voyage across the English Channel) had given an impassioned speech on how, in his opinion, Captain Jack Sparrow of the Pirates of The Caribbean films was a real and actual historical figure.

The speech was met with vigourous applause prior to the Kraken passing out and having to be carried off by stretcher and air ambulance to the detox unit of a London hospital.

Tabasco sauce sellers, tomato juice sellers and merchants of raw eggs were reporting a huge increase in sales all across London today.

Renfield was soon joined in the bar by his friends Amadeus Emanon and Angelique Dumont.

Amadeus helped himself to some of the complimentary peanuts in the dish in front of Renfield.

“So I hear that yesterday Donald Trump signed an Executive Order declaring a national emergency with regards to America’s computer networks,” Amadeus noted.

“Yes, it is a move designed to keep China’s tech giant Huawei out of providing software for America’s computer and AI and 5G systems,” Renfield commented.

“I don’t imagine Beijing will be happy about that,” Angelique Dumont remarked.

“They’re not,” Renfield answered, “The Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu has already flown that mysterious entity known as the Black Dragon into Washington DC and has already swooped down on the U.S. capital.”

“Did it do any damage?” Amadeus asked as he motioned to the bartender to bring another dish of complimentary peanuts.

“It landed on top of a group of Republican supporters and fans of the Game of Thrones TV show who were holding placards outside the White House calling on Donald Trump to declare a national emergency and sign an Executive Order ordering HBO to hire new writers and re-do the whole 8th and last season of Game of Thrones all over again since they didn’t like how the series ended.”

“I wonder what those Game of Thrones fans who are registered Democrats were doing at the time?” Angelique Dumont mused aloud.

“They were demonstrating outside Congress calling on Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer to call a Congressional inquiry into whether or not there was Russian collusion into HBO laying a very early pre-Thanksgiving turkey otherwise known as the final season of Game of Thrones,” Renfield pointed out.

“Did anything happen to the Democrat fans of Game of Thrones seeing as how a Black Dragon landed on top of Republican Game of Thrones fans?” Amadeus inquired.

“They were crushed by a flying marijuana plant that landed on top of them,” Renfield answered, “The plant was developed by Canada’s National Research Council in Ottawa on orders of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. The plant was supposed to be flying to Paris where Trudeau is currently attending a world leaders’ summit on technology but being quite high, the marijuana plant lost all sense of direction and ended up in Washington DC instead.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 16th
2019.

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The Maltese Falcon At Mar-A-Lago: A Poem

April 3, 2019 at 10:46 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Poetry, Romance, Spy Tales, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Narrator of poem:

“How are ya, sweetheart?
I’m the ghost of Humphrey Bogart
I was recently challenged by my friend the ghost of Orson Welles
to see if I still got tough guy and private eye skills
that I used to have in my movies.

So I took him up on his challenge and headed down to Florida
The site of one of my popular films Key Largo
I heard about this swanky place down there called Mar-a-Lago
A private Palm Beach, Florida club owned by a temper tantrum throwing
spoiled brat billionaire named Donald Trump
Imagine my surprise when I heard this bozo
was also the President of the United States
The country has certainly gone down hill
since the days of Harry Truman
I figure.

Anyways a Chinese lady spy named Yujing Zhang
was arrested at the club trying to enter it with a
thumb drive containing malware
I had no idea what a thumb drive is
Thought it might be that a car was driven by your thumb
instead of both hands in this day and age
or maybe some newly designed form of golf club
they came up with that quite literally relies on the rule of thumb
And as for malware, I thought it was some guy named Mel Ware
who just might be the uncle of Token Ware
a female character in a Raymond Chandler Philip Marlowe story

I was set straight on the new developments in technology
by the ghosts of eccentric Serb-American inventor Nikola Tesla
and some British guy named Alan Turing
who made a name for himself in mathematics

Anyways it turns out this Yujing Zhang wasn’t the only femme fatale
causing intrigue down at Club Mar-a-Lago
Some woman named Li Cindy Yang is also involved
It turns out she owns a massage parlour
where prostitution is said to be going on
on the premises
One of her arrested johns was a Mr. Robert Kraft
the owner of a football team called The New England Patriots
The case is made even more interesting by the fact
that the team’s quarterback Tom Brady
claims he’s able to win football games
through the help of his wife
Gisele Bundchen
who’s a witch.

The whole thing reminds me of a film my friend Veronica Lake
made back in 1942
called I Married A Witch

So you can imagine my surprise when I walked through the door
of Club Mar-a-Lago
and saw the Maltese Falcon on the table
That old bird that appeared in the film by that title
That I starred in back in 1941

Around the table lay the bodies of various secret service agents
who had been completely drained of blood
A beautiful Chinese woman wearing a white evening dress
stood outside the club dining room window
in the middle of the pouring rain

“That most enchanting and intriguing woman is the Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu,”
The ghost of Orson Welles arrived in the nick of time
sipping a glass of red wine,
“She’s the daughter of Dr. Fu Manchu the famous scientist
whose exploits were written about in the novels of Sax Rohmer”.

“What’s she doing here?” I asked Welles.
Welles smiled, “She’s hidden a bunch of condoms owned by the Knights of Malta
in that Maltese Falcon.
That way when they’re found by law enforcement authorities
who are already on their way over here
The find will prove to be problematic and embarrassing
for both Donald Trump and Pope Francis
And the Chinese government will have killed two birds with one stone.”

“Well, that explains the pair of sunglass wearing dead pink flamingos I passed by on the lawn on the way in then,” I remarked
“Those are actually lawn ornaments knocked over by drunken country club members,” Welles finished his wine.

I noticed Mei-ling Manchu approach a fire-breathing Black Dragon
and crawl on to its back
“Off to Venezuela,” she said, “There to watch the Donald play his final Trump card before we divide this land between ourselves and the Russians.”
She and the Dragon flew off into the night sky

I walked outside to watch the Dragon and the vampiress depart
I looked down at the two pink flamingos and remarked to Welles,
“Well, I suppose the problems of two flamingos don’t amount to a hill of beans in this world.”
Welles lit himself a cigar and remarked, “Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But someday and soon.”
Some young woman named Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez stood outside the club and waved a document called the Green New Deal.

“Bogey on the 18th hole,” the ghost of Arnold Palmer remarked as he walked by with his golf clubs.

I laughed, patted Welles on the shoulder and said,
“You know, Orson, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship”
As we walked off into the misty greens.

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 3rd
2019.

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Renfield Wears A T-Shirt and Signs Autographs

February 10, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield R. Renfield was the man of the hour in Britain after his successful appearance on a special PBS episode of Firing Line in which the ghost of William F. Buckley Jr. interviewed the MP.

Militant atheist Richard Dawkins (after an appearance in which he publicly burnt his jock strap that had on it a picture of Michelangelo’s Jehovah creating Adam as depicted on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel) issued a statement, “I have to admit I was impressed by the seeming authenticity of the show. It does look like an episode of Firing Line that would have been directed by Orson Welles had Mr. Welles ever directed an episode of Firing Line. And Buckley’s ghost does come across like Buckley’s ghost would if he ever did a posthumous interview as the interviewer. But as every person who has absorbed my intelligent insight and analysis of the cosmos knows, “There are no ghosts or vampires or mythological beings in actual existence. There is no Heaven, Hell or Purgatory. And there’s definitely no God.”

“I say,” Amadeus Emanon spoke to his girlfriend Angelique Dumont as he ate some popcorn and watched Dawkins on television, “If Dawkins as a militant atheist is burning his jockstrap with a picture of Michelangelo’s Creating Adam on it in imitation of the militant feminists of the late 1960s publicly burning their bras, now my knowledge of history might be somewhat misty but didn’t the militant feminists of the late 1960s at least take their bras off first?”.

“Oh shit,” Dawkins could be heard screaming as someone rushed forward with a fire extinguisher to extinguish his smouldering jockstrap.

“Maybe Dawkins will compose an atheist hymn with the lyrics Nearer My Jockstrap To Thee,” Renfield remarked as he signed autographs from adoring fans and wore a t-shirt that said,

GILLETTE:
The Fruitiest A Man Can Get.

Meanwhile American Catholic bishops and their priestly advisors were packing Gillette shaving products in their suitcases as they headed off to Rome for The Vatican Special Meeting On Predatory Pederast Priests.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau looked at the RCMP report in front of him.

The report detailed the investigation into the abduction of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s personal pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever who had been kidnapped by the Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (daughter of Dr. Fu Manchu) last December and would only be released when Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou was released fully from custody and not extradited to the U.S.

Justin missed his little cannabis pot smoking greenhouse buddy with the prickly needles and his whacky weedy smile.

But the RCMP were unable to find the lost 1960s hippy commune of Calypso’s Bosom on the Canadian West Coast’s Sechelt Peninsula where the marijuana smoking desert plant was being held.

Seeing as how the commune was an Age of Aquarius New Age equivalent of Scotland’s mythical mystical village of Brigadoon, that was no surprise.

. . .


Semiramis the Queen of Babylon to her date Dracul Van Helsing before going out: How do you like my high heeled shoes, Dracul darling?
The better to crush my ex-husband Nimrod the little green frog with, don’t you think?

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday February 10th
2019.

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Special Firing Line Episode On PBS: Ghost of William F. Buckley Jr. Interviews British MP Renfield R. Renfield

February 9, 2019 at 11:48 pm (Commentary, Culture, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Politics, Romance, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


Due to the cosmic intertwining of the CERN Large Hadron Collidor in Switzerland and Dracul Van Helsing’s time travelling Houdini-Tesla-Pantages prototype Magic Lantern in a West Hollywood repertory movie theatre, this year’s supernaturally produced episode of PBS’ Firing Line featuring the ghost of William F. Buckley Jr. interviewing British MP Renfield R. Renfield was able to be watched by actor Jimmy Stewart and actress Lana Turner on the set of the film Ziegfeld Girl in 1941.

Due to Hades the Greek god of the Underworld wanting to see it happen and His Conceited Humbleness Pope Francis not wanting to see it happen, Hades ordered the temporary dispensational release of the ghost of the conservative commentator William F. Buckley Jr. from Purgatory to interview British MP Renfield R. Renfield on a special episode of the PBS public affairs show Firing Line on television.

Studio floor director for the show would be the ghost of Orson Welles.

The studio audience would be made up of the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill surrounded by the ghosts of the greatest of the female Ziegfeld Follies girls of the 1920s and ’30s.

As the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill sat in the audience with a big cigar, an ample bottle of brandy and one huge smile on his face, the show began.

“So, tell me, Mr. Renfield,” Buckley’s ghost sat there with a huge spectral copy of The Complete and Unabridged Oxford Dictionary on his lap giving him a spectral hernia, “if you could sum up what’s wrong with the state of America today in just one sentence, what would you say?”.

“Well,” Renfield poured himself a 20 ounce glass of Jack Daniel’s, “if you keep in mind that the terms I use in my statement are the terms exactly as defined by the Greek philosopher Plato in his work The Republic, America’s biggest problem is that its left wing oligarchy suffers from the massive delusion that it is a genuine aristocracy while its rightist tyrant suffers from the massive delusion that he is a genuine monarch.”

“I say,” Buckley was impressed, “That’s quite good actually.”

“Thank you,” Renfield grinned.

In the studio audience, Churchill’s ghost applauded as a lovely and very curvy Ziegfeld girl massaged his cigar.

In the TV audience at home watching, Bill Clinton seethed with jealousy as he saw Churchill’s cigar being massaged.

As for Hillary, she seethed with indignation at Renfield’s comment about the left wing oligarchy since it hit a little too close to home for her liking.

“And what of Russia?” Buckley asked as he sipped from a cup of tea with a picture of the late Soviet leader Leonid Brezhnev on it bearing the tattoed inscription LOSER on his forehead.

“Well,” Renfield ignored the Russian bear (possessed by the ghost of Rasputin) operating Camera #2 trying to hypnotize him with his magnetic looking eyes, “Russia’s problem is Vladimir Putin who’s trying to create a country that’s a synthesis of old Czarist Imperial Russia and the Stalinist Soviet Union. Such a synthesis is ultimately bound to fail.”

“And what then should Putin do?” Buckley asked as he picked up a copy of Nikolay Chernyshevsky’s 1863 novel What Is To Be Done?.

“Drop the Stalinist model and concentrate all efforts on Czarist Imperial Russia returning,” Renfield remarked as he drank from a very rare 1894 bottle of Russian vodka.

“Hear! Hear!” Churchill’s ghost ejaculated as his right leg was being massaged by a beautiful and very lovely White Russian exile girl Ziegfeld dancer.

“And what about China?” Buckley asked as he ate from a Lydo Chinese Food Styrofoam carton that had a picture of Richard M. Nixon and Chairman Mao Tse-tung eating 1000-year-old eggs and washing them down with bucketloads of French champagne on the carton cover.

“Well,” Renfield gazed at the lovely Asian dragon emblazoned slit skirted dress wearing vampiresses the Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (daughter of the late Dr. Fu Manchu so maligned by Sax Rohmer) and the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (granddaughter of the late Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh) who were espionage operatives for the Beijing government and were standing at the back of the studio, “China is the world’s true superpower while America is the Wizard of Oz full of hot air and sitting behind a curtain and trying to shadow box with others by using faded silhouettes of its former glory.”

“My country reduced to the light and shadow contrasts of dark alleys and dying street lamps of the set of an old Film Noir movie,” the ghost of Orson Welles made a cameo appearance statement to the camera.

“On another matter,” Buckley smiled with the beatific smile of a smiling Buddha as the Shall We Dance? theme from the movie The King and I played in the background, “why have your former boss the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set and his Persian carpet warehouse business partner the Persian goddess Anahita decided to try and make Thai Princess Ubolratana Rajakanya the next Prime Minister of Thailand?”.

Renfield looked like he had been hit by a sledgehammer (which he would have been by both Mei-ling Manchu and Ho Babylon Minh on orders of the entity known as the Black Dragon if he hadn’t answered the question about China in the correct way).

“What?” Renfield looked totally shocked.

“Well,” Renfield regained his composure, “it’s like the man said to the mousetrap when it caught ahold of his testicles, You’ve really got me there.”

-A vampire novel
written by Christopher
Saturday February 9th
2019.


Thai Princess Ubolratana Rajakanya: The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set and the Persian goddess Anahita want her to become the next Prime Minister of Thailand.


Homage is being paid to Thai Princess Ubolratana Rajakanya by Watson Holmes the Executive Vice-President of Set Enterprises


Thai Princess Ubolratana Rajakanya: Renfield R. Renfield was unable to answer the $64 million dollar question about her connection to Set and Anahita posed by the ghost of William F. Buckley Jr. on the PBS public affairs program Firing Line.


The Persian goddess Anahita: What does she have planned for Thailand?
Only the vampire Set and her hairdresser know for sure.

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Rahaf al-Qunun Granted Asylum In Canada

January 11, 2019 at 11:39 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield drank a toast in champagne with his fellow British Transhumanist Party caucus MP the Welsh vampiress Morgana over the fact that Saudi woman Rahaf al-Qunun was being able to toast her new found freedom in red wine aboard a flight from Bangkok Thailand (via Seoul South Korea) to Toronto.

Toasting her new found freedom in red wine would no doubt cause many extremist Wahhabi imams in Saudi Arabia to roll over in their soaked liquid filled mattresses (caused by nocturnal and daytime emissions brought about by visualized thoughts of the 72 dark eyed houri promised them).

Earlier this evening, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced that the Canadian federal government would be granting refugee status to Miss Rahaf al-Qunun in Canada.

After having made the announcement, Justin spent a few minutes wondering about what had become of his beloved cannabis marijuana pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever.

The pot smoking and prickly little fellow had been kidnapped last month by Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (the daughter of well known 1920s and ’30s mad scientist Dr. Fu Manchu of Sax Rohmer narrative fame) in retaliation for last month’s arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou by Canadian authorities on the orders of the “jealous because we’re lagging behind China in developing 5G networks” U.S. government.

Justin Trudeau missed conversing with the rather silent little fellow but more importantly missed the cannabis smoke exhaled by the greenhouse creature with the prickly disposition.

Inhaling all that smoke would allow him to converse with the ET gray Gali-Gula from planet Nibiru (who was possessed by the spirit of the ancient earthling Roman Emperor Caligula).

For some reason, the Canadian Prime Minister was only able to see the odd looking and eccentric gray little creature when he had been inhaling pot.

Justin was seeking Gali-Gula’s advice on who he should get to replace Scott Brison as President of the Canadian Treasury Board next Monday.

As Renfield sipped the champagne (and wondered whether 2004 was a good year as far as the French champagne growers were concerned), he thought of his good friend the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh who was the pearl white sparkling incisors smiling vampirically immortal granddaughter of the late Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh.

Renfield and Ho had recently worked together in poisoning Apple CEO Tim Cook (again in retaliation for the arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou at Vancouver International Airport).

Ho Babylon Minh was the one responsible for tonight’s happy conclusion in the Rahaf al-Qunun case.

When Rahaf al-Qunun had been detained by Thai authorities at Bangkok International Airport back on January 6th and a Saudi diplomat had confiscated her passport (no doubt with the same wanna be enthusiastic charm shown towards Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi at the Saudi consulate in Istanbul back in October), Ho Babylon Minh had rushed to Thailand to converse with her friend the King of Thailand.

As a result of Ho’s intervention, Miss Rahaf’s deportation back to Saudi Arabia was delayed.

If Miss Rahaf had been sent back to Saudi Arabia, it would most likely have been a race between her family and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman’s rather extensively large diplomatic janitorial cleaning service to see who could kill her first.

The United Nations Commission on Human Rights intervened and granted Rahaf al-Qunun refugee status.

Causing Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman to burst a blood vessel in his middle finger as he was examining plans for a Mark of the Beast system to be implemented for future citizens of his proposed autonomous NEOM economic zone along the Red Sea.

And now Rahaf al-Qunun was headed towards a new life in Toronto Canada.

. . .

U.S. President Donald Trump was lying in bed when suddenly the ghost of Sir Laurence Olivier appeared in front of him.

Olivier was portraying the role of Tom Snout a character in William Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Tom Snout was a tinker and one of the “mechanicals” of Athens an amateur theatre troupe putting on Pyramus and Thisbe a play within a play within A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Snout played the part of the wall separating Pyramus and Thisbe in Pyramus and Thisbe.

Olivier as Tom Snout as the Wall spoke thus,

In this same interlude it doth befall
That I, one Snout by name, present a wall…

With that a 219 inch colour TV built by Samsung appeared in mid-air.

“It may cost anywhere between $10,000 and $100,000
but far cheaper than $5.7 billion which only a knave and an ass would spend…”

Trump started screaming as his toupee suddenly became infested with the same black coloured crickets and cockroaches that had suddenly and mysteriously infested Mecca within the past few days.

Lexington his butler and valet entered the Presidential bedroom as Trump’s secret service bodyguards were fast asleep as they were no longer being paid due to the government shutdown.

“Is there something the matter, sir?” Lexington called out in the darkness.

“I’m having to shampoo my hair with a blow torch,” Trump cried back.

“Very good, sir,” Lexington closed the door and went back to bed.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 11th
2019.


Rahaf al-Qunun: Off to a new life in Canada.

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Much Ado About Meng Wanzhou

December 8, 2018 at 11:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )


Meng Wanzhou: The Face That Launched A Thousand Deaths

Retribution was swift.

Numerous leading officials in the U.S. State, Justice, Trade and Commerce Departments were found dead with poisoned chopsticks inserted into their necks.

Donald Trump woke up in horror to discover that someone had put chicken fried rice and sweet and sour pork spare ribs in his toupee.

Officials at both the Canadian and U.S. Embassies in Beijing had come down with the worst cases of diarrhea in all recorded history.

The Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (the immortal daughter of the infamous Dr.Fu Manchu Manchu that British writer Sax Rohmer had written about) had gone to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s greenhouse in Ottawa and wearing a pair of metallic spiked leather gloves had kidnapped Justin’s beloved pot smoking and cannabis inhaling cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever. He would be released upon the release of Huawei executive and Chief Financial Officer Meng Wanzhou from a Canadian prison. Distraught, a tearful Justin had called an emergency Federal Canadian Cabinet meeting on the issue. He was thinking of evoking the Emergency War Measures Act like his father Pierre Elliot had done when British Trade Commissioner James Cross and Quebec Labour Minister Pierre Laporte had been kidnapped by the FLQ back in October 1970.

His Foreign Minister Chrystia Freeland slapped Justin’s face and told him to get a grip on reality.


The Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu just prior to putting on a pair of spiked metallic leather gloves and kidnapping the Canadian Prime Ministerial official marijuana pot smoking and cannabis inhaling cactus plant of Justin Trudeau.


Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Chrystia Freeland forced to slap Justin’s face when he started babbling about calling upon the ET gray Gali-Gula and an invasion fleet from planet Nibiru for help.

Meanwhile Australian poet David Redpath was happy to report that Strawberry Fields Forever’s two pot smoking and cannabis inhaling desert cactus plant children (a son named Octopi Garden and a left leaning daughter named Octopi Wall Street) were both safe and sound in his home in Australia.

Apparently Redpath’s once buying the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (the granddaughter of Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh and a woman who now worked for the Chinese Intelligence Service) some green tea and a Vietnamese pork submarine sandwich in a Sydney restaurant had put the poet in Ho’s good books.

Meanwhile leading officials in the Vancouver Crown Prosecutor’s office were now dying en masse after their marijuana cigarettes were all laced with arsenic by Chinese agents.

Similarly RCMP officers and CSIS agents were keeling over by the bucket load (before they had the chance to complete their bucket lists) all across Canada after egg rolls and chop suey they had received had all been heavily laced with polonium-210.

Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher refused to provide them with the antidote to polonium-210 poisoning that he had developed since his boss the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was personal friends with Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu.

And so numerous orphans and widows were being created in Canada and numerous undertakers and funeral homes would be doing a booming business in Canada next week as a result of the cowardly Justin Trudeau’s surrender of Canadian national sovereignty to America’s Trump Administration and its unilateral embargo against Iran.

Justin was doing this all for a man who belittled and ridiculed him (the ghosts of Sigmund Freud and Alfred Kinsey were both speculating that Justin might be a latent homosexual masochist with a cougee like infatuation and obsession with the older man).

And Trump was following a stringent anti-Iran agenda because his ultimate dream in life was to continously kiss the buttocks of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

Truly the days of Sodom and Gomorrah were upon the world as Christ prophesied would be one of the signs of his 2nd Coming.

And speaking of Sodom and Gomorrah, British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the Chinese Intelligence Service operative Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh were now in San Francisco to deliver a poisoned apple to Apple CEO Tim Cook on behalf of the Chinese government.


Ho Babylon Minh: Bearing poisoned apples to Cook.

Meanwhile in British Columbia, the Vancouver International Airport was undergoing massive aerial bombardment of seagull droppings from 10 million Chinese seagulls.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 8th
2018.

And down in Mexico City, the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was engaging in tantric sex with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec (who had dyed her hair blonde for a TV commercial she had been appearing in)

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Kwan Yin and Kim and Moon and The Surprise “Hollywood” Style Summit

May 26, 2018 at 10:10 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Kwan Yin and Kim and Moon and the Surprise “Hollywood” Style Summit

After Donald Trump threw a temper tantrum and pulled red spider monkeys out of his hair and cancelled the June 12th Singapore Peace Summit in an announcement this past Thursday May 24th, Kwan Yin the Asian Buddhist goddess of mercy had asked Thoth the Egyptian god of wisdom, the moon and magic along with his immortal formerly mortal companion Serena the Time Traveler to go to the Underworld realm of Hades and ask the entity Hades (known to the Romans as Pluto) to release the ghost of the great film director Orson Welles from Purgatory.

In the past, Hades normally had to consult with the earthly Pope of Rome before he could do such things but since the current Pope Francis no longer believed in Purgatory (or even Hell for that matter), he was able to immediately accede to Kwan Yin’s request.

The ghost of Orson Welles left Hades saying, “Paul Masson will sell no wine 🍷 before its time but Hades will release my ghost before my time.”

Thoth and Serena escorted Welles to the DMZ (demilitarized zone) on the Korean Peninsula where Kwan Yin gave Welles a deadline of 48 hours to arrange a surprise “Hollywood” style summit between North Korean leader Kim Jong-un and South Korean President Moon Jae-in.

Welles never followed deadlines much in his mortal life (which is why most American film studios in Hollywood became reluctant to work with him) but what he had failed to do in life, he achieved in death.

The surprise summit happened today Saturday May 26th 2018.

Also present at the surprise summit were Kwan Yin herself as well as the Chinese Communist vampiress Meiling Manchu (who had recently broken with Chinese President Xi Jinping on the grounds he had become a Mao like cult leader and total totalitarian despot) and the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

Kim and Moon agreed to carry on talks for a planned Singapore Peace Summit between Trump and Kim on June 12th.

Meiling and Qonzilqointec were to go to the White House in Washington DC and hold down the Trumpster while the immortal London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes tomatoed the toupee wearing blowhard’s buttocks with her whip until he agreed to go to the summit as planned.

When Moon and Kim finished their meeting, Orson Welles asked Kwan Yin if it would not be possible for his ghost to remain out of Hades for a while so he could visit London, England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 of which he had fond memories.

Kwan Yin, Thoth and Serena then text messaged Hades on their Divine Celestial Samsung Galaxy 6 Billion Model Smart Phones and put in a special request for the successful director of the surprise “Hollywood” style summit in the Korean Peninsula’s demilitarized zone to spend some more time out of the realm of Hades.

Hades agreed.

He had no objections.

Especially since Welles was consuming most of the wine 🍷 available in the Underworld to the dismay of other clients and patrons.

Kwan Yin the Buddhist Goddess of Mercy

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 26th
2018.

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Kim Jong-un and Lord Byron Jennings Plan For World Conquest

August 11, 2017 at 8:08 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Kim Jong-un and Lord Byron Jennings Plan For World Conquest

Sitting over the game board of Risk: The Game of Global Domination in a room that overlooked the Persian Zoroastrian demon Ahriman blest Greek god Hephaestus built intercontinental ballistic missiles of Kim Jong-un, the North Korean 🇰🇵 dictator Kim Jong-un and his British House of Lords member Maoist Communist adviser Lord Byron Jennings were planning world conquest as the Greek god Ares stood outside playing the theme music 🎶 from the movie Dr. Strangelove on his violin 🎻.

Kim Jong-un was looking pleased as the fortune paper slip in his fortune cookie said You shall triumph over the man with the weird looking toupee.

Kim took this as a good sign as he drank his green tea 🍵 and Lord Byron Jennings sipped on his Manhattan cocktail 🍸.

Kim grinned beatifically at Lord Byron Jennings and asked, “So, how shall we begin this game of world conquest?”.

“First we take Manhattan,” Lord Byron sipped his drink, “and then we take Berlin.”

Outside 99 luftballons were sent into the air.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 11th
2017.

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Renfield MP On The Crisis In Venezuela

August 3, 2017 at 3:30 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

“Holy orgasm, Batman,” said Boy Wonder Robin as he read the book on Tantric Sex.

Renfield turned off the television when he heard the knocking at the front door.

Funny, he hadn’t recalled ever seeing that particular episode of the 1960s Batman TV series with Adam West before.

Renfield opened the front door of the Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion only to see a horde of reporters standing out there.

“Mr. Renfield, Mr. Renfield, what do you think of the current situation in Venezuela?” A reporter asked the newly elected Vice-Chairman of the UK Parliamentary All-Party Committee On Foreign Affairs.

“Well, as you know,” Renfield lit himself a Cuban cigar as he spoke, “last April, I was in Venezuela plotting the overthrow of the Communist despot Nicolas Maduro’s government. Then of course Theresa May called a snap election and I had to come home to run as a Parliamentary candidate for the British Transhumanist Party that I founded. Mrs. May should have really had the consideration to wait until I had actually overthrown the Maduro regime before calling the election. But the best laid plans of shape-shifting hamsters and men are often led astray by the follies of airheads.”

“What about the recent vote for a new Constituent Assembly?” A reporter asked.

“A total sham,” Renfield answered, “the only people taken in by it are all these loser SJWs (Social Justice Warriors) who aren’t getting any sex and this lack of sex has led to stupidity on the brain which has caused them to embrace far left-wing causes which any sane rational person wouldn’t embrace.”

“Would you go back to Venezuela and overthrow the Maduro government then, Mr. Renfield?” another reporter asked.

“Well, I’d have to check with the Westminster House of Commons Ethics Commissioner first and see if it’s permissible for a sitting MP to overthrow a foreign government,” Renfield replied.

“That didn’t stop Tony Blair when it came to Saddam Hussein,” Amadeus quipped on the steps behind Renfield.

“Shut up, Amadeus,” Renfield angrily turned around and glared at the concert pianist furious that his friend had brought up an historical fact he had never considered when answering that question.

The Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (wearing a heavy Beijing Laboratories developed sunblock that prevented her from frying to a crisp in daylight), who was standing behind the reporters, smiled at the exchange.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 3rd
2017.


Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu touring the British Museum on her day in London

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