Crybaby Bolsonaro Demands An Apology

August 27, 2019 at 10:58 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, Technology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Crybaby Bolsonaro Demands An Apology

“I see short lived Trump White House advisor Steve Bannon is releasing a film next month that he made called Claws of The Red Dragon that he claims highlights the relationship between Huawei Technologies Co. Ltd. and the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) and the People’s Liberation Army (PLA),” Amadeus remarked while eating sweet and sour spare ribs.

“Yes, I wonder why Bannon made such a film,” Renfield ate his pork fried rice, “Perhaps he was pressured to make it because he didn’t want certain embarrassing public details released about him.”

“What details would those be?” Amadeus munched on his egg rolls.

“He apparently visited Jeffrey Epstein’s Manhattan mansion on several occasions,” Renfield started eating his sweet and sour shrimp balls, “and today the Washington Examiner newspaper reported that the notorious child predator George Nader visited Bannon in the White House at least 13 times during the 7 months that Bannon served as White House Chief Strategist.”

“You mean Bannon might have…” Amadeus stopped eating.

Renfield took a shot of whisky, “If my theory about Epstein being a Mossad operative is correct and Epstein used his sex trafficking operation not only to make money and satisfy his own sexual perversions but also used that operation to blackmail and extort members of the U.S. and world elites into giving political support to Israel, then we must remember that the Israelis and the Chinese are the world’s 2 major rivals when it comes to developing 5G networks. The U.S. has been fast asleep in research and development when it comes to 5G. The Israelis have been working on it since 2008 and have become way ahead of everybody else. They’ve been doing it quietly and with very little fanfare. Benjamin Netanyahu only started openly boasting about it this year. That’s why Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman (whom I’ve nicknamed Mohammad bone Sawman ever since the Khashoggi incident at the Saudi consultate in Istanbul last year) has sold the Palestinians down River (or down the desert sands) in order to hitch himself to the Israeli high tech wagon. His planned autonomous high tech city state enclave that he’s planning in the Tabuk Province of 
northwestern Saudi Arabia that he’s named NEOM will need Israel’s advanced science and technology to get off the ground. The only one who’s come close to the Israelis in developing 5G technology are the Chinese and Huawei. Thus it’s very suspicious that Bannon decides to make a film casting the Chinese and Huawei in a very bad light especially for someone known to have visited Epstein’s Manhattan mansion. The choice the world faces when it comes to adopting 5G technology is do they want the Israelis or the Chinese to spy on them? Of course we know Donald Trump’s answer. Because a right wing libertarian political commentator in a tweet told him so, Trump thinks he’s regarded by many Israeli Jews as the new King of Israel and the Second Coming of God. So of course Trump would prefer Israel rather than China to spy on the world. And that’s why Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou is being held in Vancouver British Columbia because King Trump’s State Department told the Canadians so. And as we know Dracul Van Helsing is not the Prime Minister of Canada to tell the U.S. State Department to stick it where the sun don’t shine.”

. . .

Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro was sitting in his high chair in the Brazilian Presidential Palace wearing a bib around his neck.

On his high chair tray directly in front of him was a baby soother that had been personally autographed for him by fellow infantile brat Donald J. Trump.

As Balsonaro threw his knife and fork across the room, he bawled, “I’m not going to accept $22 million in aid and assistance from the G-7 to help fight the Amazon rainforest fires unless French President Emmanuel Macron apologizes to me for personally insulting me. So there! Waaaaah!”.

. . .

 
11-year-old Sherrielock Rocher (the 2nd eldest daughter of Set Enterprises’ Chief Scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher) was telling her mother what she wanted for Christmas (even though that was 4 months away), “I want a Barbie and a GI Joe for Christmas.”

“But,” her mother asked, “Doesn’t Barbie come with Ken?”.

“No,” young Sherrielock Rocher shook her head with clear determination, “she fakes it with Ken. She comes with GI Joe.”

“Cadbury,” Mrs. Rocher looked at her husband, “I think Sherry should cut down the amount of time she spends on the Internet.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher agreed.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 27th
2019.

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ET Gray Gali-Gula Encounters The Black Dragon

April 2, 2019 at 10:12 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

The ET gray Gali-Gula was sitting on the beach at Vancouver’s English Bay drinking bottles of Molson Canadian beer.

He had found an old fashioned dictionary on the beach (books along with encyclopedias which were no longer used in the age of the Internet).

Gali-Gula was surprised to see that when he looked up the word “Sleazebag” in the dictionary that Canadian Privy Council clerk Michael Wernick’s picture was there.

This depressed Gali-Gula as it reminded him of the SNC-Lavalin scandal in which his good buddy Justin Trudeau was involved.

A scandal which probably wouldn’t have happened if his good buddy Justin still had access to his pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever and was able to inhale the prickly little creature’s exhaled pot smoke.

For Justin was only able to see Gali-Gula (an ET gray from the planet Nibiru who was possessed by the ghost of the late earthling ancient Roman Emperor Caligula) when he inhaled pot smoke.

But thanks to Canada stupidly arresting Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou on behalf of the U.S. government last December 1st, Chinese government operatives had in retaliation kidnapped Justin’s pot smoking cactus plant.

For a while, the prickly little fellow had been held captive in Calypso’s Bosom a Brigadoon style mystical village hippy commune on the Sechelt Peninsula which only emerged from its pot smoking mystical haze once every 7 years to appear to mortal eyes.

Seeing as how the cactus seemed to be enjoying his environment a little too much, it was moved to a Chinese Government Re-Education camp for transgendered Uighurs in the Xinjiang region of China where cannabis and pot smoking was definitely not allowed.

Seeing as how Justin was deprived of his access to pot smoke through the cactusnapping and captivity of Strawberry Fields Forever, he was unable to see and hear Gali-Gula for advice.

Now whenever Justin set out to make an ass of himself which was quite often, Gali-Gula would advise him not to do it.

When Justin listened to Gali-Gula’s advice, he didn’t make an ass of himself.

When he refused to heed Gali-Gula’s advice, he always made an ass out of himself.

But when Strawberry Fields Forever was kidnapped, Gali-Gula was invisible to Canada’s Prime Minister and was unable to warn Justin Trudeau not to pressure his Attorney-General and Justice Minister Jody Wilson-Raybould into intervening to protect the Quebec based construction firm SNC-Lavalin from criminal prosecution.

As such, Justin now found himself embroiled in the biggest political scandal his government had ever faced.

His poll numbers were dropping faster than flies at a Bill Clinton and White House Intern Reunion Convention.

And earlier this evening, both Jody Wilson-Raybould and her friend former Treasury Board President Jane Philpott had been booted off the deck of the Titanic that is the Canadian Federal Liberal Party caucus.

The iceberg of this fall’s Federal election loomed ahead.

And all because a bunch of West Coast potheads in the Vancouver Crown Prosecutor’s office, Canada Customs and the RCMP decided to follow U.S. government orders and arrest Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou.

Speaking of West Coast potheads, almost everyone on the beach at Vancouver’s English Bay could see him.

They waved and asked for autographs.

A Black Dragon suddenly emerged from the waters of English Bay and approached the ET gray.

Most of the potheads could not see him.

“That’s because I have the ability to cloud their minds with rational thought- something their minds cannot handle,” the Black Dragon answered Gali-Gula because he could read his mind, “most U.S. politicians of all political stripes are unable to see me for the same reason.”

“Who are you?” Gali-Gula asked.

“I am the Black Dragon,” the Black Dragon bowed, “Supernatural entity advisor to China’s paramount leader.”

“I’m Gali-Gula, former ET gray advisor to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau,” the little extraterrestrial looked sad.

“I know,” the Black Dragon smiled, “I advised Xi Jinping to abduct Strawberry Fields Forever.”

“You!” Gali-Gula looked angry.

“Don’t worry,” the Black Dragon breathed fire reassuringly, “he’s being held in a pot free zone- a government re-education camp for transgendered Uighurs in Xinjiang.”

At that moment a news story about transgenders broke on a nearby pothead’s radio.

The B.C. Human Rights Commission had recently fined somebody for saying that a transgendered political candidate had been born a biological male.

In response to the huge fine, genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee had flown in from Alberta and had beheaded all the members of the B.C. Human Rights Commission.

He then put all the severed heads under the bedsheets in a bed owned by a transgendered Hollywood producer in Los Angeles along with an old autographed photo of Marlon Brando as the Godfather and an old autographed photo of 1960s TV star Mr. Ed The Talking Horse.

The producer screamed when he woke up in bed this morning and found all the items, the radio announcer noted.

“So you’ve come to gloat about holding Strawberry Fields Forever hostage?” Gali-Gula turned his attention back to the supernatural visitor from China.

“Yes,” the Black Dragon roasted some hot dogs for a bunch of potheads who were undergoing the munchies, “I’m actually on my way to Venezuela to give a King Henry V style Saint Crispin’s Day speech to 120 Chinese soldiers there who have joined 100 Russian soldiers there. Buenos Nochos.”

Gali-Gula whose Spanish wasn’t as good as the Black Dragon suddenly felt a craving for some good nachos.

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Meng Sues As Justin Slips, Renfield Saved By Lepardia Once Again

March 4, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Last Friday, the Canadian Federal Government announced that it would be going ahead with the extradition case against Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou.

Today the Chinese government in Beijing formally charged Canadians Michael Kovrig and Michael Spavor with espionage.

“A mere coincidence? Hardly,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield told BBC Radio quoting a statement that the narrator of the early 1970s film Chariots of The Gods often made throughout the course of the movie.

In addition to public moves by the Chinese government, it was also doing some private ones.

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s pet marijuana smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever (who had been abducted by Chinese vampiress Mei-ling Manchu the daughter of Dr. Fu Manchu shortly after Meng Wanzhou’s arrest) had been moved from the mystical pot smoking hippy commune of Calypso’s Bosom on British Columbia’s Sechelt Peninsula to a Uighur re-education camp for Uighur transgender transsexuals in China’s Xinjiang region where pot smoking was strictly prohibited.

There videos of Strawberry Fields Forever undergoing pot withdrawal symptoms while being surrounded by Uighur equivalents of Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner would be emailed and/or text messaged to Justin on his private server every day.

“A most sublime form of torture,” a smiling supernatural entity known as the Black Dragon told a smiling Chinese Communist paramount leader Xi Jinping over a pot of green tea.

In addition, various Canadians were now disappearing off the streets of Chinese cities.

The Canadian beaver would definitely not be winning any pissing contests with the Chinese dragon.

In addition, Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou had now launched a civil lawsuit against the Canadian Border Services Agency, the RCMP and the Canadian Attorney-General’s Department for violating her constitutional rights on failures of government officials to comply with the rule of law upon her detention, search and interrogation at the Vancouver International Airport on December 1st 2018.

“What probably happened,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield explained to CNN’s Anderson Cooper on the subject, “from my Canadian friends in the know is the sheer egotism and Luciferian self-deification of those who work in the Canadian Border Services Agency. Many males who work for the CBSA are impotent bedwetters with small penises and many females who work for the CBSA are lesbian blowhards who wish they had penises. These serious inflictions cause these people to become Hellhounds and Hellhags when it comes to dealing with members of the general public.”

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was watching the CNN interview between Renfield and Cooper when he received his first video from the Uighur re-education camp in Xinjiang as a text message.

The video showed a Uighur transgender accidentally sitting on the desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever and then standing up singing those old Culture Club Boy George lyrics of the early 1980s, “Do you really want to hurt me…?”.

“Poor Strawberry Fields Forever,” Justin wept, “He can’t stand listening to any songs or music past 1969.”

The Black Dragon then arrived on the scene singing,

“… we haven’t had that spirit here since 1969…
… we are all just prisoners here of our own device…
… You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave.”

Some burnt Eagle feathers fell down on top of the desert cactus plant.

. . .

In addition to foreign troubles with China, Justin was also having domestic troubles at home in Canada.

Canadian Treasury Board President Jane Philpott had just resigned from the Trudeau cabinet earlier today Monday March 4th 2019 as her reaction to the SNC-Lavalin scandal in which members of the Prime Minister’s Office had tried to pressure then Canadian Justice Minister and Attorney-General Jody Wilson-Raybould into dropping a criminal prosecution case against the Quebec-based construction company SNC-Lavalin.

Trudeau had just re-shuffled his cabinet last Friday in reaction to Jody Wilson-Raybould resigning as Veterans’ Affairs Minister back on February 12th and now he would have to undertake another cabinet shuffle.

Trudeau fell asleep and had a dream that he was tap dancer Fred Astaire with both Ginger Rogers and Rita Hayworth leaving the stage without him.

Justin then did a solitary tap dance as he sang, “I’m doing the cabinet shuffle. Oh yeah, I’m doing the cabinet shuffle” as he shuffled his feet.

Justin then slipped on a banana peel and fell off stage while doing the shuffle.

He was immediately eaten by a Black Dragon who already had in his stomach a desert cactus plant undergoing marijuana smokers’ withdrawal.

. . .

A gay Argentinian Jesuit priest stood outside the British House of Commons holding Punch and Judy puppets with toy chainsaws in both their puppet hands.

The Jesuit was going to use the two respective puppets and the four respective toy chainsaws to assassinate British MP Renfield R. Renfield as he exited the Commons.

The priest had been ordered by one of his superiors in the Vatican to assassinate the British Transhumanist MP.

As the priest stood there, a leopard suddenly lunged at him.

The leopard ripped him to shreds.

Like most contemporary Jesuit priests, the now ripped to pieces assassin was a modernist liberal progressive Marxist who didn’t really believe in the existence of the Supernatural.

Had he done so, he might have paid heed to the warning of Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol that there was a were-leopard (a person able to shapeshift into the form of a leopard) that had been haunting the streets of London the past few years.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield left the Commons where he had spent the day in his parliamentary office being interviewed by news networks from around the world.

As such his spirit advisors the ghosts of Orson Welles and Winston Churchill had taken the day off visiting the Tate Gallery.

Renfield looked around for his date for this evening Lepardia Marango who was the Cultural Attache at the South African Embassy in London.

Then he saw her:

She looked resplendent.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 4th
2019

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The Black Dragon Awakens

January 29, 2019 at 11:55 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, Politics, Spy Tales, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

There is an unknown shrine located in the Palace of The Emperors in Beijing’s Forbidden City.

And few there be that find it.

The shrine does have a Taoist priest (in a long line of Taoist priests throughout the millenia) that care for it.

But other than the priest, no one else knows.

But there have been some individuals throughout history who have always found the shrine.

And those individuals were generally China’s most malevolent Emperors.

In recent times, Chairman Mao Tse-tung had found it when he won control of the Chinese mainland in 1949.

The thing about the shrine is that when these malevolent Emperors and Mao had lived, the statue of the Black Dragon inside the shrine had disappeared only to return to the shrine upon the death of the said Emperors or Mao.

According to oral tradition passed down from priest guardian of the shrine to priest guardian of the shrine, the statue of the Black Dragon would come to life and serve as an advisor to the one who found the shrine during that individual’s lifetime.

On the Ides of March (March 15th) 2013, the statue had vanished, the priest guardian of the shrine had noted in the shrine’s official journal.

Of course the Black Dragon would not be walking the breadth and length of China as a dragon.

It was able to shapeshift into human form.

. . .

The MSS (Ministry of State Security) operative did not really enjoy working with the individual called Wang.

No one was too sure what Wang’s job was.

He just suddenly showed up one day at the MSS on March 18th 2013 with orders from the newly elected Central Committee that he was to be obeyed in all matters.

Wang was tall.

7 foot 6.

Very unusual for most Chinese.

And also very thin.

In fact Wang was described as a tall thin version of statues of the fat jocular version of the Chinese Smiling Buddha.

Except Wang was tall not short.

Thin not fat.

And definitely never smiled.

. . .

Mark Orillio was an American businessman who spent the past 5 years living and working in Shanghai.

Today that would be his curse.

The fact that he was American.

The day after Acting U.S. Attorney-General Matthew Whitaker had announced 13 criminal charges against Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou and other Huawei executives had been formally laid.

For Justin Trudeau’s Canada, it was 2 Canadians in detention and another to be shot by firing squad for daring to arrest Meng.

For U.S. citizens, it would be a lot worse.

Orillio was grabbed from behind while crossing the street.

And tossed into a van.

Later in an empty warehouse, Wang had bodily dismembered Orillio.

The action had been videotaped.

The videotape would be sent to Whitaker’s office via the old fashioned post office method.

Other parts such as fingers, toes, elbows, knees and ankles would be mailed to various family members of Orillio living in the U.S.

His phallus would be mailed to his wife living here in Shanghai with the message, At least you got what the Egyptian goddess Isis never found.

And Orillio’s head would be mailed to Donald Trump at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue with the message, Do not mess with the China Flower Achievement.

Wang told the MSS operative that the messages were inspired by British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s finesse in dealing with Islamist terrorists.

“Gunboat diplomacy and now this,” the MSS operative thought to himself.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 29th
2019.

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Meng Wanzhou and The Strange Case of The Yankee Idiot Who Poked A Sleeping Dragon In The Eye

January 28, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )


Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou, the Chinese telecom giant Huawei and its affiliates in the U.S. and Hong Kong have had 13 criminal charges filed against them by the U.S. Department of Justice.

Earlier today, America’s bald non-toupee wearing (as opposed to the Twitterer-In-Chief) Acting Attorney-General Matthew Whitaker announced 13 criminal charges against Meng and other Huawei executives.

The BBC sent its news anchorwoman Geeta Guru-Murthy to interview British MP Renfield R. Renfield about the story.

As Geeta sat there in an arm chair and looked at her notes, MP Renfield sat in a hot tub smoking a cigar, drinking a bottle of l’Hertier de Jean Fremicourt brandy and getting blow jobs from 3 very sexy and shapely Japanese Dragon Sister porn stars.

“You know,” Renfield remarked as he blew smoke rings, “the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill often tells me that he wished he had thought of this in his mortal life time.”

“Well yes, moving right along now,” Geeta smoothed her skirt and looked at the monitor, “what is your first comment on the U.S. government’s formal charges against Meng and Huawei?”.

“Jesus Christ,” Renfield gasped.

He then looked at Geeta, “But in answer to your question, I’d first like to comment on Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s firing of John McCallum the Canadian Ambassador to China this past weekend for telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about the whole Meng Wanzhou affair. This is proof positive that “Truth and diplomacy do not walk together hand in hand” to quote that new adage I just coined.”

“I notice,” Geeta read from her notes as Renfield sat there in the hot tub with an immensely huge smile on his face, “that China’s state-run Global Times newspaper has called the government in Ottawa a “frightened bird” and used a rather colourful ancient Chinese folk saying to describe Canada’s “immoral actions”. ”

“And what was the rather colourful ancient Chinese folk saying?” Renfield asked as he once again rose to the occasion.

” “You cannot live the life of a whore and expect a monument to your chastity” the unnamed author of the op-ed apparently wrote,” Geeta answered in reply to Renfield’s question.

“Gees, that’s pretty damned good,” Renfield bit off the end of his cigar, “I wish I had said that.”

“You will, Rennie, you will,” one of the female Japanese porn stars giggled as she paraphrased a statement that the artist Whistler had once made to Oscar Wilde.

“No monument for you,” Renfield looked down at her as he ate a bowl of Argentinian chicken soup prepared by a soup Nazi.

“So what of today’s U.S. announcement?” Geeta asked as she tried to keep a straight face.

“Well, the U.S. is a collapsing empire that’s too stupid and historically illiterate to realize that it’s a collapsing empire,” Renfield sipped on a Tequila Sunrise that contained a swizzle stick with a miniature Union Jack on it, “while China on the other hand is a rapidly ascendant rapidly rising re-emergent world empire. So we all know how this will end. Napoleon Bonaparte who was a true genius (unlike the bozos in the Trump Administration) noted that China was a sleeping dragon and it is best to let sleeping dragons sleep. So what does America the modern day Whore of Babylon do to a sleeping dragon? She pokes it in the eye. And so now America will fall like a rag doll knocked off the shelf by a raging bull in a China shop. And no monuments will be built to her chastity after she falls.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 28th
2019.

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Goatee Slays Uglos, Renfield Poisons Apples and Allatallahbel Desolates The Vatican

December 27, 2018 at 11:56 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Humour, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee had been in a good mood on Christmas Day because he hadn’t encountered any repulsively ugly women.

He wasn’t in such a good mood yesterday because some ugly woman tried to ride alongside him on a escalator so he promptly beheaded the bitch.

Then it turned out that the grocery stores in his neighbourhood were closed for boxing day so he wasn’t able to buy any groceries.

Today wasn’t such a good day either because when he went to pick up his subsidized transit pass (Goatee got a subsidized low-income transit pass for medical reasons since his doctor had certified him as homicidally insane and therefore this made him eligible for medical benefits such as a low-income transit pass), he discovered that his photo id had expired.

The clerk gave him a low-income transit pass for next month anyways but told him he would definitely need a new photo id for next month (it was lucky for the clerk that he did that for otherwise he would have been beheaded by Pan Goatee).

“Why the Hell do you need a fucking new photo id all the time?” Goatee fumed, “Proof positive that the days of the Antichrist and the Mark of the Beast are upon us.”

He beheaded a fat ugly blimp in a wheelchair who tried to get in his way.

“You know back in my day, we used to have only good looking people in wheelchairs,” the ghost of Raymond Burr remarked to the satyr serial killer after Goatee had beheaded the fat ugly blimp.

“Mister, we could use a disabled person like Police Detective Robert Ironside again,” Pan Goatee sang a paraphrased version of that old Archie Bunker All In The Family song about Herbert Hoover.

He then beheaded a few more ugly women around the transit place.

“If Semjaza and his Merry band of Watchers came down to Earth today,” Goatee did an impromptu theological exposition on the Book of I Enoch,
“they sure as Hell wouldn’t be mating with the daughters of men now not when they look like the daughters of walruses, stoats and gargoyles.”

Goatee was momentarily pleased when he actually saw a beautiful woman wearing a short skirt and black silk pantyhose exiting a building but she was immediately followed by an ugly stoat looking woman whom he promptly beheaded.

Later on the bus ride home, Goatee encountered another ugly stoat looking woman who in addition to being stoatly ugly was wearing a fashion designer’s nightmare of barf green coloured checkered pants with unmatching yellow striped purple running shoes.

The genetically created satyr serial killer promptly beheaded her much to the relief, delight and applause of the ghosts of Oscar Wilde, Friedrich Nietzsche, Yves Saint Laurent and the still living (but almost died when he saw the colour blind hideous fashion ensemble wearing ugly looking stoat monstrosity) Karl Lagerfeld.

Later a walrus looking fat ugly blimp got off the bus in front of Pan Goatee’s house so he beheaded that creature from Hell as well.

. . .

The two chief scientists in charge of Product Development at Apple (both of whom were appointed after the death of Steve Jobs) twin brothers Dr. Shitticus Constipationio and Dr. Shitticus Diarrheaosis (both men’s family surnames were their first names) were up shit creek.

The CEO of the company Tim Cook had died after eating a poisoned apple pie given to him by British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

The gay Apple CEO had a passionate crush on the British MP who was someday expected to become Prime Minister of Britain and the Sir Winston Churchill of the 21st Century so gladly accepted the apple pie from him.

Chinese government operative Ho Babylon Minh (the granddaughter of Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh) knew of Cook’s crush on Renfield R. Renfield and thus after putting the Dr. Cadbury Rocher designed Snow White Red Rose Black Death apples in a pie got Renfield to deliver them.

Cook’s homicide was revenge on the part of the Beijing government for the U.S. government ordered Justin Trudeau cannabis Canadian complicit arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou at Vancouver International Airport.

Renfield agreed because he didn’t like the idea of a very attractive Asian Dragon sister like Meng Wanzhou having been put in a Vancouver jail when there were so many obnoxious ugly white women walking the streets of Calgary, Alberta, Canada and nobody was doing a damned thing about it with the exception of genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee.

Now Cook was dead and put on ice (in hopes there would be somebody who could bring him back from the dead).

In the meantime a humanoid looking robot who resembled Cook was putting in public appearances so that no one would know Cook had died.

The embarrasing part was the Tim Cook looking humanoid robot had been built and designed by Samsung (Apple’s South Korean competitor) since after Steve Jobs’ death, Apple had become incapable of building a good product.

And they the Shitticus Brothers were to blame.

. . .

Back in 855 AD, a Kabbalistic Gnostic Apostolate operating covertly in the Catholic Church had finally succeeded in putting a woman (a witch) on the papal throne as Pope John VIII.

The woman became known to history as Pope Joan.

Joannes Anglicus (her Latin name as Pope) had disguised herself as a man.

Her womanhood was revealed in 857 AD when she gave birth in the midst of a papal procession.

Now the vampiress Allatallahbel (the Vampiress Priestess of Baal) was hoping to openly be elected Pope when Francis either kicked the bucket or resigned.


The Vampiress Allatallahbel (the Vampiress Priestess of Baal) plans to become the next Pope.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 27th
2018.

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Renfield’s Analysis of China’s Rise and America’s Decline While Pan Goatee Slays More Repulsively Ugly Women

December 14, 2018 at 11:54 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Apple CEO Tim Cook was in a coma after having eaten a poisoned apple delivered to him by British MP Renfield R. Renfield and Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh as an early Christmas present sent by the Chinese government.

Apple Ltd. had sent for the Prince at Disneyland’s Snow White exhibit to come and kiss the gay Apple CEO on the lips in hopes that this would rouse him from his poisoned apple induced sleep.

However thanks to frothing at the mouth foaming and raving feminist blowhards, a Prince was no longer part of the Disneyland Snow White exhibit since being kissed on the lips by a man was obviously a denial of her female empowerment.

Just like the Seven Dwarves were no longer called the Seven Dwarves (since such a term was insultingly offensive to vertically challenged people in these politically correct times).

They were now called the Seven Stewards of The Forest (to show Disneyland was in tune with the environmentalist agenda).

So Tim Cook had been hoisted by his own petard- the ideology of political correctness that he and his fellow high-tech global conglomerate CEOs sought to inflict on the world.

Renfield had returned to Britain.

He was due to give an interview in person to BBC television.

But once again the London trolley bus he was riding was stuck behind some stupid motorist who had ignored all the flashing lights, warning and stop signs and had become embedded in a motor vehicle trap on the single lane one way street that was meant for buses only.

By chance someone had a plastic container jug of petrol (that’s gasoline for all you Americans out there) on the bus and a woman happened to have a cigarette lighter so Renfield used both items to pull a Raymond Red Reddington (a la Blacklist) and poured gasoline all over the head of the bozo motorist and his equally bozo passengers and then set fire to the empty minded bodily appendanges all the while singing “Burn, baby, burn, disco inferno” from Saturday Night Fever.

He finally reached BBC studios.

He was asked to respond to Canadian media commentators who were saying that China would probably release the two detained Canadians detained by China on “charges of spying” that occurred right after the arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou in Vancouver British Columbia at the behest of the U.S. government.

“Canadian media commentators have no clue as to what they’re talking about,” was Renfield’s response.

“But they point out that Chinese government officials have not linked the sudden detention of the two Canadians to Miss Meng’s arrest which gives one hope that they’ll be released,” said the BBC interviewer.

“The reason why Chinese officials have not publicly linked the arrest of the two Canadians to Miss Meng’s arrest is because unlike most politicians and government officials in the Western world, the Chinese actually have brains,” Renfield remarked as he used chopsticks to eat his tuna fish sandwiches, “they do not have a Donald Trump who moronically tweets state intelligence, defense and foreign policy secrets in his public Twitter account 24 hours a day. Nor do they have an Emmanuel Macron who is the 8th intellectual dwarf of the modern world (or the 8th intellectual steward of the forest as Disneyland and the IQ challenged administrators of the Calgary Zoo Winter Wonderland Snow White Themed Fairy Tale For 2018 Exhibit might put it). Or a Theresa May who has managed to turn a Brexit deal into the worst of all possible worlds for both British EU inners and outters alike and the total awestruck speechlessness of the ghosts of both Leibniz and Voltaire.”

“But U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo today stood shoulder to shoulder with Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Chrystia Freeland and demanded the release of the two Canadian detainees or else,” the BBC interviewer quipped.

“And I’m sure China’s supreme leader Xi Jinping is really quaking in his Ming Dynasty glass slippers at that earthshaking pronouncement,” Renfield opened his fortune cookie which bore the fortune, GREAT DEALS ON REDECORATING 10 DOWNING STREET WHEN YOU MOVE IN, “America is a country on its way down. That’s why they elected as President Donald Trump a man who has all the characteristics of the insane Roman Emperor Caligula. And the candidate who ran against him was one Hillary Clinton a woman who has all the characteristics of the violin playing Emperor Nero’s mommie dearest Agrippina Minor with all her shrewishness and inherent insanity thereof. America is on the way down. China is a country on the way up. As the ghost of the Emperor Napoleon I Bonaparte said to me the other day as I was polishing an apple, “The sleeping dragon has awakened.”

. . .

Pan Goatee immediately cut off the head of the ugly looking female high school student as she boarded the transit bus.

“Aesthetic beauty Akbar,” Pan Goatee shouted in an obvious plagiarism of a militant Islamist terrorist’s phrase.

Later when he walked to a McDonald’s restaurant to buy their $1 coffee special (while the Church Advent fasting season was still on), he encountered a fat ugly blimp female high school student with her father.

“Aesthetic beauty Akbar,” Goatee once again plagiarized the militant Islamist terrorist’s favourite phrase as he beheaded the fat ugly blimp.

“Death to morons who fuck fat ugly blimps and produce similar looking female progeny,” Goatee beheaded the Badyear Blimp’s father.

After drinking coffee at McDonald’s, he went to a grocery store where a thin ugly anorexic skeletal female was leaving the store with her IQ challenged boyfriend.

“Aesthetic beauty Akbar,” Goatee shouted as he beheaded the creature and engaged in his third strike designed to piss off a militant Islamist terrorist umpire.

“And death to the morons who fuck them,” Goatee sounded like he was auditioning for a Martin Scorsese remake of an old Film Noir movie as he beheaded the IQ challenged boyfriend.

Later when he was leaving the grocery store with bottles of Coca-Cola, he encountered another thin ugly anorexic skeletal female and her low IQ boyfriend.

“Aesthetic beauty Akbar!” Goatee shouted as he beheaded the Weight Watchers’ after picture from Hell moments before getting a text message from ISIS Islamic State’s lawyer saying he was being sued for Copyright violations.

Goatee then beheaded the ugly creature’s low IQ boyfriend while shouting, “And death to the morons who fuck them!” in a line surely designed to land him an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor at the Academy Awards.

. . .

The Byzantine Vampiress Theodora was in Kiev Ukraine where tomorrow the Unification Council of the Autocephalous Ukrainian Orthodox Church of Kiev would be held to elect a Primate for the Church.

The Council would be held at Saint Sophie’s Church Cathedral in Kiev.

Theodora was contemplating the warning of Vasilij Gritsak the head of the SBU (Security Service of Ukraine) that the ecclesiastical conflict between Constantinople and Moscow in Ukraine would lead to the outbreak of war and a Vladimir Putin ordered Russian Armed Forces full scale military invasion of Ukraine.

Theodora would side with the Ukrainians against Putin.

For Theodora had offered to make Putin the new restored Byzantine Emperor with his capital at Constantinople.

But Putin had turned her down.

Choosing instead to form an alliance with Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan (the future Sultan and Caliph of a revised Ottoman Empire) and Iran against the State of Israel.

Ironically enough, Israel was being supported by Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman who was being advised by the ghosts of Soviet dictator Josef Stalin and the bloody murderous Scottish queen Lady MacBeth as well as the demon Baphomet (who was the patron demon of Sodom and Gomorrah) and the Egyptian god Osiris to rebuild Solomon’s Temple in Jerusalem.


The Byzantine Vampiress Theodora on a moonlit night in Kiev.

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Stone Altar To Jerusalem 3rd Temple Dedicated

December 10, 2018 at 11:54 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


A Russian girl picks apples from the Russian Apple Tree of Death in Sevastopol, Crimea

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was in San Francisco California along with the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (the immortal granddaughter of the late Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh and an intelligence operative for the Chinese Intelligence Service) in order to deliver deadly lethal poisoned apples (grown on the Russian Apple Tree of Death in Sevastopol Crimea) to Apple CEO Tim Cook in California’s Silicone Valley (not to be confused with the space between a California female porn star’s breasts) as vengeance for the U.S. government ordering the arrest of Huawei executive and Chief Financial Officer Meng Wanzhu in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.

Already several U.S. and Canadian government officials had died under mysterious circumstances since the arrest of Meng Wanzhu in the escalating trade and technology war between the U.S. and China.

Quite possibly the last of Chief Papaschase’s prophecies of three world wars were coming to pass.

Chief Papaschase was a Cree First Nations Chief who lived in both the Lesser Slave Lake and Edmonton areas of northern Alberta, Canada.

In the Edmonton Bulletin newspaper in 1906, Chief Papaschase told the editor of a vision he had of three world wars that had been given him by the Great Spirit.

The first World War would see Britian, France, Italy, Russia and the U.S. fighting against Germany, the Austro-Hungarian Empire and the Ottoman Empire.

The Second World War would see Britain, France, Russia, the U.S. and China fighting against Germany, Italy and Japan.

Back in the 1990s, George Milner a member of the City of Edmonton History and Archives Board was given the task of presenting Chief Papaschase’s descendants with a City of Edmonton recognition award for his contributions to the development of the City of Edmonton.

The award would be presented by Mr. Milner to Papaschase’s descendants at the City of Edmonton History and Archives Board’s Annual Historical Recognition Awards Dinner.

The Gladieu (also spelled Gladue) family of northern Alberta and northern Saskatchewan (who were all descended from the great Chief Papaschase) had numerous representatives on hand at the dinner to receive the award on behalf of their ancestor.

While researching the life of Chief Papaschase for the speech he was to give, Mr. Milner was startled to discover in a copy of the Edmonton Bulletin newspaper from 1906 a description of the vision of three world wars that Chief Papaschase gave to Edmonton Bulletin editor Frank Oliver of a revelation he said he had received from the Great Spirit.

Mr. Milner was stunned by the sheer accuracy of the prophecies of the two world wars.

Unlike Nostradamus (or as a former DARPA employee called the writer of confused and confusing quatrains Nostril Dumb Ass), Chief Papaschase named names and didn’t equivocate.

Mr. Milner alluded to the prophecies in his dinner speech very briefly as he didn’t want the sensation of the vision to obscure Chief Papaschase’s other achievements in northern Alberta history.

As for the vision of the Third World War, Mr. Milner told the vision to his son.

The Third World War, Chief Papaschase noted would begin initially as a war of trade, technology and industrial espionage with China and Russia on one side vs. the U.S., Western Europe and Japan on the other.

Then admist a backdrop of tensions in the Crimean Peninsula on the Black Sea and religious and political tensions in the Middle East, the trade and technology war between the U.S. and China would suddenly erupt into open hostility and military conflict and warfare as a result of an incident that happened on Canada’s West Coast.

Papaschase did not say what that incident would be.

However with the recent arrest of Huawei Chief Financial Officer Meng Wanzhu in Vancouver, British Columbia while conflict in the Crimean Peninsula region of the Black Sea and religious and poltical tensions in the Middle East were reaching a crescendo it suddenly hit George Milner’s son that this may have been the scenario that Chief Papaschase saw prior to the outbreak of the military aspect of World War III.

Which may also explain why George Milner’s son has had such immense problems with demonically possessed roommates the past year and an inoperative iPhone and a gradually failing Samsung Galaxy tablet the past couple of months (as well as Fascism, Communism and all around totalitarianism on the part of the Calgary Public Library system) as he is probably one of the few human beings on Earth aware of the prophecies made by Chief Papaschase back in 1906.

As Renfield and Ho set out to poison Apple’s Cook with poisoned apples picked from the Russian Apple Tree of Death in Sevastopol Crimea (a tree genetically developed by Dr. Nicht Werhoffen the chief scientist of the Russian FSB who used to be the chief scientist for the East German Stasi back in the days when Communist East Germany existed as a country), British Prime Minister Theresa May stood in the Westminster House of Commons and announced that she was cancelling tomorrow’s Commons vote on her Brexit deal.

Ostensibly because she was going to lose the vote.

But also because Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was anxious to find out what Renfield’s position on the deal was and Renfield was out of the country trying to save Canada’s national political sovereignty from the Trump Administration of the U.S.

Meanwhile in Jerusalem Israel, the Mossad agent they called the Controller of the Golem stood on the Temple Mount watching kohanim (priestly members) of Israel’s nascent Sanhedrin dedicate a stone altar to the Third Temple in Jersualem on the Temple Mount.

They were doing it today December 10th (which is the last day of Hannukah this year).

Meanwhile the ghost of Thomas Merton (the famous 20th Century American Trappist monk, writer, poet and mystic who had died 50 years ago today as a result of accidental electrocution by a Hitachi floor fan in his Bangkok Thailand retreat center room where he was attending an ecumenical monastic conference and dialogue between Catholic and Buddhist monks although Episcopalian (and former Dominican priest) Matthew Fox made the claim in 2016 that Merton was actually assassinated by the American CIA) had been granted temporary dispensational leave from Purgatory and Paradise by Hades the god of the Underworld (since Pope Francis was currently out to lunch as he had been since the start of his pontificate) to attend the dedication ceremony.

As Merton stood there, he was shocked to see the demons Baphomet and Beelzebub standing to the left of the Third Temple stone altar dedication ceremony.

What, Merton wondered, were they doing there?

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 10th
2018.

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Much Ado About Meng Wanzhou

December 8, 2018 at 11:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )


Meng Wanzhou: The Face That Launched A Thousand Deaths

Retribution was swift.

Numerous leading officials in the U.S. State, Justice, Trade and Commerce Departments were found dead with poisoned chopsticks inserted into their necks.

Donald Trump woke up in horror to discover that someone had put chicken fried rice and sweet and sour pork spare ribs in his toupee.

Officials at both the Canadian and U.S. Embassies in Beijing had come down with the worst cases of diarrhea in all recorded history.

The Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (the immortal daughter of the infamous Dr.Fu Manchu Manchu that British writer Sax Rohmer had written about) had gone to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s greenhouse in Ottawa and wearing a pair of metallic spiked leather gloves had kidnapped Justin’s beloved pot smoking and cannabis inhaling cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever. He would be released upon the release of Huawei executive and Chief Financial Officer Meng Wanzhou from a Canadian prison. Distraught, a tearful Justin had called an emergency Federal Canadian Cabinet meeting on the issue. He was thinking of evoking the Emergency War Measures Act like his father Pierre Elliot had done when British Trade Commissioner James Cross and Quebec Labour Minister Pierre Laporte had been kidnapped by the FLQ back in October 1970.

His Foreign Minister Chrystia Freeland slapped Justin’s face and told him to get a grip on reality.


The Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu just prior to putting on a pair of spiked metallic leather gloves and kidnapping the Canadian Prime Ministerial official marijuana pot smoking and cannabis inhaling cactus plant of Justin Trudeau.


Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Chrystia Freeland forced to slap Justin’s face when he started babbling about calling upon the ET gray Gali-Gula and an invasion fleet from planet Nibiru for help.

Meanwhile Australian poet David Redpath was happy to report that Strawberry Fields Forever’s two pot smoking and cannabis inhaling desert cactus plant children (a son named Octopi Garden and a left leaning daughter named Octopi Wall Street) were both safe and sound in his home in Australia.

Apparently Redpath’s once buying the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (the granddaughter of Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh and a woman who now worked for the Chinese Intelligence Service) some green tea and a Vietnamese pork submarine sandwich in a Sydney restaurant had put the poet in Ho’s good books.

Meanwhile leading officials in the Vancouver Crown Prosecutor’s office were now dying en masse after their marijuana cigarettes were all laced with arsenic by Chinese agents.

Similarly RCMP officers and CSIS agents were keeling over by the bucket load (before they had the chance to complete their bucket lists) all across Canada after egg rolls and chop suey they had received had all been heavily laced with polonium-210.

Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher refused to provide them with the antidote to polonium-210 poisoning that he had developed since his boss the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was personal friends with Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu.

And so numerous orphans and widows were being created in Canada and numerous undertakers and funeral homes would be doing a booming business in Canada next week as a result of the cowardly Justin Trudeau’s surrender of Canadian national sovereignty to America’s Trump Administration and its unilateral embargo against Iran.

Justin was doing this all for a man who belittled and ridiculed him (the ghosts of Sigmund Freud and Alfred Kinsey were both speculating that Justin might be a latent homosexual masochist with a cougee like infatuation and obsession with the older man).

And Trump was following a stringent anti-Iran agenda because his ultimate dream in life was to continously kiss the buttocks of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

Truly the days of Sodom and Gomorrah were upon the world as Christ prophesied would be one of the signs of his 2nd Coming.

And speaking of Sodom and Gomorrah, British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the Chinese Intelligence Service operative Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh were now in San Francisco to deliver a poisoned apple to Apple CEO Tim Cook on behalf of the Chinese government.


Ho Babylon Minh: Bearing poisoned apples to Cook.

Meanwhile in British Columbia, the Vancouver International Airport was undergoing massive aerial bombardment of seagull droppings from 10 million Chinese seagulls.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 8th
2018.

And down in Mexico City, the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was engaging in tantric sex with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec (who had dyed her hair blonde for a TV commercial she had been appearing in)

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