Arthur Meets Guinevere

May 27, 2021 at 10:32 pm (Folklore, Mythology, Short Story) (, , , , , , , , )

Arthur king of the Britons had recently defeated the Anglo-Saxons in battle.

Under his peace terms, the Anglo-Saxons could continue to live in Britain but as peaceful citizens no longer prone to pillaging and plundering (or what today’s mainstream media would label “peaceful protests”).

During this time Arthur’s advisor Merlin found himself imprisoned in an oak tree as a result of a spell cast by the enchantress Vivian Nimue the Lady of The Lake.

When Merlin discovered that he had been imprisoned in the oak tree by Vivian, his notable words were, “I hate it when this happens.”

Without an advisor, Arthur wondered who he should turn to for advice.

He wondered if, now having defeated the Anglo-Saxons and now reigning over a peaceful kingdom, he should now marry.

Arthur decided to go to his older foster brother Sir Kay for advice.

Sir Kay was sitting there imbibing several glasses of mead when Arthur found him.

“Kay,” said Arthur, “I think I should marry. What do you think?”.

“I think that’s an excellent idea, Arthur,” Kay hiccoughed before passing out.

When Arthur went to bed that night, he was told by a voice that he should walk to the top of the hill overlooking Camelot the next morning and there he would meet his bride.

The next morning Arthur walked in the direction of the hill.

It just so happened that Guinevere the daughter of King Leodegrance of Cornouaille in Breton happened to be visiting Arthur’s kingdom and by chance happened to be walking on the hill that morning.

And thus it was that Arthur encountered Guinevere on that hill.

It was a magic moment as golden rays pierced through the clouds and a dove rose in the sky to bless their meeting.

A meeting that marked the beginning of the magic of Camelot and all that city stood for.

Of course someday all that magic would unravel with the arrival of a French knight called Lancelot at King Arthur’s court but that is another story.

-A short story written by Christopher
Thursday May 27th 2021.

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Orson Welles Tells A Story About An Ox On Chinese New Year’s Eve

February 11, 2021 at 10:41 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the ghost of Orson Welles were celebrating Chinese New Year’s Eve via Skype with Mei-ling Manchu (who was Renfield’s ally in seeking to topple the Communist despot Xi Jinping from power in China).

Mei-ling Manchu was sampling a most delectable variety of rice wine.

Renfield was sipping from a rather large glass of sherry.

Orson Welles’ ghost was sipping from a rather large spectral glass of spectral sherry.

“Well, Happy Year of the Ox,” Welles raised his glass in a toast.

“Happy Year of the Ox,” Renfield and Mei-ling joined in.

They drank to the New Year.

Hoping it would be better than the Year of the Rat which saw various plagues descend upon the world.

“Do you know there’s a little known Arthurian tale about Merlin being turned into an ox by the enchantress Morgan le Fay?” Welles’ ghost asked.

“It must be little known,” Renfield admitted, “because I don’t know it.”

Mei-ling laughed.

“Yes,” Welles’ ghostly cheeks were turning from ghostly white to cherry red after imbibing much sherry, “I’ll tell it to you now.”

And this is the story Welles’ ghost told:

It had come to the attention of Morgan le Fay that Merlin was urging Arthur to exile her from Camelot for making illegal moonshine.

The moon was apparently shining on nights when there wasn’t a full moon.

Angry, Morgan took a walk into the woods.

There she stumbled upon an inn The Wild Boar Inn.

Morgan entered the inn, ordered a glass of mead and sat down by the fireplace.

While there she noticed the rather corpulent Baron Grimwald of Grease sitting at a table demanding a large pot sized bowl of boiled ox soup.

“But there’s no ox in the vicinity,” the innkeeper protested.

“Bullocks,” Baron Grimwald cursed.

Morgan left a coin on the table after finishing her glass of mead and left the inn.

While traversing a path through the woods, she stumbled upon Merlin.

Morgan recalled a spell for turning a person into an ox and so she did that to Merlin.

She hastened back to the inn.

“Oh, innkeeper,” she laughed, “There’s an ox walking along that path through the woods. You can now give Baron Grimwald his large pot sized bowl of boiled ox soup.”

“Great,” the innkeeper grabbed all his butcher knives and headed out with his servants to slay and cut up the ox.

Merlin’s owl realized his master was in trouble so headed back to Camelot Castle for help.

Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table were at the time at a jousting tournament in another part of the realm.

Queen Guenevere was there however and she could even speak owl even though no one else in King Arthur’s court gave a hoot.

So Queen Guenevere got on her grayish white horse and rode to the rescue.

She arrived at the Wild Boar Inn just as the innkeeper and his servants were about to butcher the poor ox.

“Wait,” Guenevere got off her high horse.

“Your Majesty,” the innkeeper and his servants bowed to her.

Guenevere happened to know the spell for turning an ox back into a man and therefore used it.

The ox turned back into Merlin.

“Bullocks,” said Morgan when she saw what happened.

“”Bullocks,” said Baron Grimwald when he saw that his dinner was no more.

“And so that’s how Guenevere rescued Merlin from becoming a broiled ox soup,” Welles’ ghost smiled.

“No, I’ve definitely never heard that story before,” Renfield admitted.

“Nor I,” said Mei-ling.

“Here’s to the Year of the Ox,” Welles raised his glass again.

“Happy New Year,” Renfield and Mei-ling joined in the toast.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 11th
2021.

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Marmalade and Fauci and Golgotha The Enchantress

December 3, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

The Paris baker (who lost his bakery in the spring 2020 Paris lockdown) Dr. Marmalade Montague who now fancied himself the Court Scientist to the Court of Louis Quatorze come to the future of 2020 was talking to Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher who gave the former baker a job.

“Is it possible for a virus to develop consciousness?” Dr. Montague asked.

“I don’t know,” Dr. Rocher answered, “No virus in the past ever has to our knowledge. And as for viruses of the future, we can’t say because we’re not there to examine them.”

“And any virus in the present?” Dr. Montague inquired.

Dr. Rocher took off his glasses and wiped them, “That’s a pretty terrifying possibility.”

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was picking up a vision from the past from a few days ago.

The vision was of Dr. Anthony Fauci talking to his stockbroker.

“Yes, Bob, I’d like to know how much money I invested in the development of the UK Covid vaccine,” Dr. Fauci wiped his glasses, “And how much of a financial return I can get back on that?”.

“Tony,” his stockbroker answered, “You haven’t invested any money in the development of the UK Covid vaccine.”

“I haven’t?” Dr. Fauci was stunned.

He thought he had.

“So, Tony,” his stockbroker explained, “Your financial return on that would amount to zero.”

Yesterday Dr. Anthony Fauci told Fox News that the UK had not reviewed its vaccine as carefully as U.S. health regulators had reviewed the American vaccine.

He later told CBS News in a later interview that the UK had rushed the approval of its vaccine.

. . .


Golgotha the daughter of Lilith walking in the forest near her mother’s estate near Astana Kazakhstan with her trusted hawk Horus sitting on her witches’ stang.

She turned and looked at the stranger who had long white hair and a long white beard.

“You’re far from Britain, Wise Old One,” Golgotha noted.

“You recognize me?” Merlin asked.

“I do,” Golgotha answered, “I thought Morgan had imprisoned you in the trunk of a hawthorn tree.”

“She had,” Merlin answered, “but I escaped.”

“It appears,” said Golgotha, “that a lot of ancient and medieval players are returning to the world stage.”

Not far from the River Jordan the Great God Pan was starting to stir at that moment.

Awakening from a very long sleep.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 3rd
2020.

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King Arthur At The Movies

May 12, 2017 at 4:10 pm (Arts, Culture, Entertainment, Film, Literature, Movies, Mythology, Personal essays, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , , )

The movie King Arthur: Legend of the Sword opens in theatres today on what is the 80th Anniversary of the coronation of King George VI as King of Britain (which happened on May 12th 1937).

I’m sure there is no correlation between the two events- the release of a movie that I gather is a real turkey judging from reviews I’m reading at the Rotten Tomatoes film web site and the coronation of a man who was a great and heroic king (in contrast to his brother the Nazi sympathizer King Edward VIII who abdicated the throne for what he thought was a great piece of tail Mrs. Wallis Simpson).

To mark the occasion, I’m posting here two photo montage music videos I made about King Arthur at the OneTrueMedia video making site (an online video making site that sadly no longer exists) and then posted to YouTube.

The 1st King Arthur photo montage I made back on January 24th 2009:

The 2nd King Arthur photo montage music video I made (which was called Merlin, Morgana and Arthur using images from the famous TV series called Merlin) I made back on July 21st 2009:

Here are links to a few chapters I’ve written in my series of vampire novels that pertain to the Arthurian legend:

King Arthur and The Vampire Horus:

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2011/04/20/king-arthur-and-the-vampire-horus/

Sunset Over Camelot:

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2011/04/18/sunset-over-camelot/

Morgana Before Dawn:

http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/04/morgana-before-dawn-planned-catnapping.html

Arthur’s Sword and The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men

http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/04/arthurs-sword-and-best-laid-plans-of.html

-A personal essay
written by Christopher
Friday May 12th 2017.

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King Arthur Meets Morgana: A Poem

March 27, 2017 at 4:31 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Through the mountains of Wales the young Arthur walked
recalling the days when he and his mentor Merlin talked
his mentor Merlin told him to beware of nymphs in these mountain passes
sexy creatures warned Merlin who turned men into bumbling jackasses

But Arthur was enjoying the crisp winter day
caring not what came his young regal way
he turned the corner
and erect went his sonar
though the aquatic tracking device Merlin saw was several years down the road
but what Arthur saw he now carried quite the heavy load

Morgana The Enchantress

And so the young King Arthur forgot Merlin’s sage advice
that night of lust would later cut him like a knife
so therefore my dear reader, beware of nymphs in the mountains
for like Arthur, what is sown may reap war’s blood-filled fountains.

-A poem written by Christopher
Monday March 27th 2017

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King Arthur and The Vampire Horus

April 20, 2011 at 7:29 pm (Horror, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

As Arthur walked back towards his tent, he noticed a small fire burning on a distant hill.

Curious, he decided to investigate.

He firmly grasped his sword Excalibur as he climbed the hill.

Arthur crouched behind a tree as he gazed at the fire.

He recognized the being standing there from illustrations he had seen in a book in Merlin’s library.

It was the Egyptian vampire Horus who had been resurrected from the dead by the sorceress Morgana.

Arthur stepped forward into the moonlight and the fire’s glow.

“Mortal,” the Vampire Horus spat at the King of the Britons with contempt, “do you not know who I am?”.

“Thou art Horus,” Arthur withdrew his sword from his sheath.

“A sword?” Horus laughed uproariously, “It will take more than a mere sword to kill me.”

“THIS is no mere sword,” Arthur pressed his sword against the vampire’s heart, “THIS is Excalibur!”.

He drove the sword into the vampire’s heart.

Horus screamed and then collapsed into dust.

Arthur walked on to the direction of another tent.

He walked into the tent.

There on the floor of the tent was the beautiful and enchanting Morgana.

Arthur looked down.

He had loved this woman once. In fact, he had had a child with her.

Mordred.

Unknown to Arthur, Morgana had had another child of Arthur’s. A girl. One she had sent to Ireland for safekeeping.

Arthur knew what he must do.

He raised his sword and cut off the lovely head of the exquisite raven haired beauty.

Then he kissed the head and sadly walked back to his camp.

* * *

The Vampiress Isis shrieked when she saw her son Horus once again reduced to dust.

Hurriedly she gathered up the dust in an urn and ran to Morgana’s tent so that the powerful sorceress could resurrect him once again.

She shrieked when she saw Morgana dead. Her beautiful head turning the floor of the tent a lovely crimson red.

“Arthur has done this,” Isis screamed.

* * *

Isis turned into a bat and flew into Arthur’s tent.

When inside, she removed his sword Excalibur and took it with her into the night where she hid it in a forest.

“Let us see how Arthur performs in battle tomorrow without his Excalibur,” Isis laughed.

Arthur did not perform so well.

He did manage to fatally wound Mordred.

But alas, Mordred managed to fatally wound Arthur as well.

* * *

April 20th, 1889.

The day was chilly and overcast in the Austrian town of Braunau am Inn.

On this day, a baby boy was born to Klara the wife of Alois.

The baby was born on Holy Saturday the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

Outside the house, the spirit of the dead vampire Horus walked the Earth.

He felt drawn to this location for some reason.

How Horus wished he had a body.

Horus’ ghost looked and there stood the Norse vampire Odin (very recognizable by his one eye) known to the Germans as Wotan outside the same house.

Curious, Horus thought.

All sorts of creatures of the night and of the shadows and of the Underworld feel drawn to this location on this Holy Saturday night.

Holy Saturday.

The day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

Holy Saturday when Christ’s Body was in the bowels of the earth and His Soul was in Hades.

A Saturday that marked the Saturday when this world was without Christ’s presence- a child was born.

A child that would be named Adolf Hitler.

And Horus’ ghost and the Vampire Wotan had come to pay their respects.

* * *

To be continued.

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Sunset Over Camelot

April 18, 2011 at 8:20 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

“What news, Lancelot?” KIng Arthur asked his most fearless knight.

“Many brave knights were lost, my liege,” Lancelot noted, “Mordred now controls most of the countryside.”

“But Mordred would have gone nowhere without Morgana’s help,” Arthur looked at the sunset which seemed to be setting both literally and metaphorically on Camelot.

“How did Morgana achieve such power?” Lancelot queried.

“Morgana always had great magical powers,” said Arthur, “her magical powers were so great that she was able to resurrect the Egyptian vampire Horus whose dust and ashly remains were brought to her from Egypt. It was Horus’ advice given to Mordred that led to his great military victories. Mordred would have been able to achieve nothing on his own.”

“In Merlin’s library, there was a story that the Vampire Horus had been staked and killed,” Lancelot recalled.

“Indeed,” Arthur nodded, “he was killed with a wooden spear through the heart wielded by the great Roman general Pompey the Great in 48 BC. It was that particular action of Pompey’s that led Horus’ mother the Vampiress Isis to throw her support behind Julius Caesar in the Roman civil war.”

“And now the Resurrected Horus’ support of Mordred will lead to the demise of Camelot by the looks of it,” Lancelot looked sadly at the golden spires of the magical city in the distance.

“Sadly on this Earth, it is often the case that all good things come to an end,” Arthur walked wearily back to his tent.

To be continued.

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