Reblog of Aphrodite, Dr. Ja Oui Khan, The Demon Buffalo Head and The Metal Rat

January 23, 2021 at 11:47 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

A vampire novel chapter I wrote last year which ties in with the theme of some recent chapters I wrote.

Dracul Van Helsing

Aphrodite, Dr. Ja Oui Khan, The Demon Buffalo Head and The Metal Rat

The Greek goddess Aphrodite sitting in an old general store in Stettler, Alberta, Canada reading about Buffalo Lake and the origins of the North American Plains Buffalo not far from the skull of the Demon Buffalo above the store’s back door

Last week, Huawei Technologies in China had unveiled the Metal Rat (a giant robotic metal rat) for this Chinese New Year of the Metal Rat.

Strangely enough, the Metal Rat had the head of a demon buffalo and not the head of a rat.

How this came to be- therein hangs a tail (whether a rat tail or a buffalo tail no one can say for sure).

Huawei Technologies had outsourced the building of the Metal Rat to a freelance sanity challenged scientist who had a laboratory in Havana, Cuba.

The name of the sanity challenged…

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Aphrodite, Dr. Ja Oui Khan, The Demon Buffalo Head and The Metal Rat

February 2, 2020 at 11:59 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Aphrodite, Dr. Ja Oui Khan, The Demon Buffalo Head and The Metal Rat

The Greek goddess Aphrodite sitting in an old general store in Stettler, Alberta, Canada reading about Buffalo Lake and the origins of the North American Plains Buffalo not far from the skull of the Demon Buffalo above the store’s back door

Last week, Huawei Technologies in China had unveiled the Metal Rat (a giant robotic metal rat) for this Chinese New Year of the Metal Rat.

Strangely enough, the Metal Rat had the head of a demon buffalo and not the head of a rat.

How this came to be- therein hangs a tail (whether a rat tail or a buffalo tail no one can say for sure).

Huawei Technologies had outsourced the building of the Metal Rat to a freelance sanity challenged scientist who had a laboratory in Havana, Cuba.

The name of the sanity challenged scientist was Dr. Ja Oui Khan (a scientist of German, French and Mongolian ethnic origin).

Dr. Ja Oui Khan had once held a non-scientific job back in 2008 in the U.S. where he had served as an advertising slogan advisor to the Presidential campaign of one Barack Obama.

Dr. Ja Oui Khan was quite successful in building the Metal Rat robot.

He even originally had a metallic rat’s head for the metallic rat.

Sadly for Dr. Khan however, the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set had recently visited the island for high level discussions on business and commerce with the Cuban President.

And Set had brought along his pet cat the fierce Nefertiti Galore.

Nefertiti Galore had been prowling about just when the Metal Rat was practicing his Chinese New Year Lion Dance and Dragon Dance routine with a member of the Chinese Embassy.

Nefertiti Galore had ripped the rat’s head off and after almost breaking a tooth trying to bite into it had thrown it into the Caribbean where it was eaten by the Caribbean Sea’s resident giant kraken.

Dr. Ja Oui Khan was in a state to find a replacement for the Metal Rat’s head.

It just so happened that Dr. Khan’s friend the Norse trickster god Loki was in Havana so he asked Loki for help.

Loki said that he would keep an eye open for a replacement for the Metal Rat’s head.

In the meantime, Loki went up to the town of Stettler, Alberta, Canada where he had a date with the Greek goddess Aphrodite.

What was Aphrodite doing in Stettler?

Well last year Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom had called Aphrodite an airhead.

Aphrodite resented that so she enrolled to take a course at Oxford University.

She figured that if she could pass a course at Oxford, no one would have the grounds to call her an airhead.

She started out by taking a course in World Mythology and Folklore.

For her term paper, Aphrodite decided to write about the mythological origins of the North American Plains Buffalo.

The Plains Buffalo were said to have originated from the waters of Buffalo Lake (a lake that was actually in the shape of a buffalo).

According to Cree and Blackfoot tribal folklore, it was Napi (the Old Man) who had called forth the first buffalo out of Buffalo Lake.

Napi had been a Cree and Blackfoot equivalent of the old Demi-Urge of Plato and Neo-Platonism.

Napi had been created by Gitche Manitou (the Great Spirit) at the beginning of time and Napi then went around creating other creatures.

Aphrodite was reading about Napi and the origins of the first Buffalo as she sat in an old country store in the town of Stettler, Alberta, Canada which was just south of Buffalo Lake.

Not far from where she was sitting was the skull of a Demon Buffalo who had emerged from Buffalo Lake the night Abraham Lincoln was assassinated on the evening of April 14th 1865.

The demonically possessed Demon Buffalo was shot and killed by Gabriel Dumont (December 1st 1837- May 19th 1906) the great Métis leader and general and buffalo hunter (considered by Canadian historian George Milner to have been along with Napoleon Bonaparte one of the two greatest military geniuses of the 19th Century) in July 1869.

The Demon Buffalo’s skull eventually wound up in this old country store in Stettler, Alberta.

The date between Loki and Aphrodite came to an end after Aphrodite poured an ice cold cup of Dr. Pepper down the front of Loki’s pants.

After Loki did an impromptu rain dance (which caused a massive snow storm in the area), the Norse trickster god grabbed the Demon Buffalo skull and took it back with him to Havana where it wound up as the head of the Metal Rat robot.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Sunday February 2nd
2020.

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Pan Goatee, Krampus and The Demon Buffalo Headed Metal Rat

January 30, 2020 at 11:09 pm (Aesthetics, Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Pan Goatee, Krampus and The Demon Buffalo Headed Metal Rat

The genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was at a nearby shopping centre.

He had just finished buying several cans of Diet Coca-Cola from the Dollar Store so he could feed his caffeine addiction.

Outside the dollar store, he noticed an ugly looking woman with her stupid looking boyfriend so he beheaded both of them and cut both of them up into 999 trillion pieces each.

Rats soon arrived on the scene and ate the very recently departed pair.

A rodent patrol business operator arrived on the scene and remarked, “Business has never been as brisk as it has been the past week.”

Goatee entered the mall’s food court where another ugly looking woman and her stupid looking boyfriend were leaving the scene of their aesthetic and IQ insulting crimes against humanity.

The satyr quickly beheaded and dismembered them (likewise into 999 trillion pieces each) with his astral laser machete.

A Darth Vader wannabe and pen ultimate Star Wars science-fiction fan (who so far had spent the 1st 35 years of his life living downstairs in his parents’ basement and still didn’t know what a shower was used for) said to himself, “I want to get me one of those” as he looked through the window of the mall’s food court.

Rats likewise came over and ate the aesthetic and IQ challenged deceased couple’s multitudinous remains.

When Goatee went to the Subway sandwich counter, a stupid looking individual stood there at the counter and was taking forever to make up his mind (or whatever little there was of it) to decide what he wanted.

Goatee decided for the individual by beheading him and dismembering him according to the satyr’s OCD pre-ordained numerical ratio.

Goatee then decided to go and make his own sandwich at home.

Rats ate the remains of the mindless loser who had gone totally to pieces at the Subway sandwich counter and then rushed to the nearest washrooms where they tossed their cookies (metaphorically speaking).

On his way out from the mall, Goatee received a phone call from his friend the demon goat Krampus (who held joint Bavarian and Austro-Hungarian citizenship although it did him little good in this global interconnected world since both the kingdom of Bavaria and the Austro-Hungarian Empire no longer existed).

Krampus remarked that within the past 24 hours, he had just developed an allergy to the melody of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony whenever it was played.

Now, Krampus sighed, he would no longer be able to attend any events where the European Union National Anthem was played.

“What an awful week you’re having, my friend,” Goatee was sympathetic.

. . .

A giant robotic metal rat was being unveiled by Huawei Technologies for this year of the Metal Rat.

As China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping watched the Metal Rat appear, he wondered why it had the head of a demon buffalo.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday January 30th
2020

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