Qonzilqointec In London

October 10, 2014 at 7:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec In London

MI-6 Agent Diablos Nocturna was in his London apartment reading documents about the unstable political situation in Turkey over Kurdish anger at the Turkish government’s refusal to use its military to defend the Syria-Turkey border town of Kobane.

A rustling came through the curtains of his apartment.

And standing there was the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec wearing a black evening dress and black spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes.

“Well, hello,” Diablos Nocturna put his folder of documents down.

“Hello, Diablos,” the Aztec vampire princess smiled, “if I may call you by the first name of your MI-6 code name.”

For Qonzilqointec had known Diablos Nocturna before he had become an MI-6 agent.

“Of course your Highness,” Diablos smiled, “what brings you to London?”.

“Well I spent a few days in Paris,” Qonzilqointec answered, “where I was meeting with various art dealers trying to buy a painting that Toulouse-Lautrec had once painted of me.”

“I didn’t know that Toulouse-Lautrec had once painted a picture of you,” Diablos Nocturna was suitably impressed.

“Yes,” Qonzilqointec smiled as she touched her jade earring, “two actually. One of me wearing a fashionable Parisienne evening gown of the 1890s and the other of me in the nude.”

“Toulouse painted one of you in the nude?” Diablos Nocturna had never heard this in the art history course he once took.

“Yes,” Qonzilqointec sighed, “unfortunately that particular painting went down on the Titanic.”

“No wonder there have been so many salvage trips down to the ocean depths to see what can be recovered from the Titanic,” Diablos Nocturna poured two glasses of red wine.

“Thanks,” the sexy and seductive Aztec vampire princess brushed back her hair as she accepted both the compliment and the glass of red wine.

“Anyone else try to paint a picture of you in the nude?” Diablos Nocturna was starting to regret not having taken any oil painting classes himself when he was younger.

“Pablo Picasso,” Qonzilqointec answered, “but since I had no desire to look like a cube or an ear or an eye with two noses, I turned down his request.”

Diablos Nocturna laughed.

In the distance sounded the howl of a wolf-like creature.

“That sounds like a werewolf,” said Qonzilqointec who was familiar with such creatures.

“It does indeed,” Diablos Nocturna agreed.

He too was familiar with such creatures.

“Never recalled hearing anything about there being a werewolf in the neighbourhood tonight,” Diablos sipped his wine, “there’s a trade union meeting in the neighbourhood labour hall at which far-left Marxist British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley is the guest speaker.”

“Maybe the meeting is turning out to be a howling success,” the Aztec vampire princess suggested.

“Indeed,” Diablos Nocturna laughed, “so did you locate the painting that Toulouse-Lautrec painted of you fully clothed?”.

“I was fully clothed in an evening gown in the painting,” Qonzilqointec answered, “Henri himself was in the nude when he painted it.”

“I see,” Diablos Nocturna was intrigued, “and did he paint it using a brush or looking at you was he inspired enough to paint it using something else?”.

Now it was the Aztec vampire princess’ turn to laugh.

“I take it from the look on your face that you managed to locate the painting,” Diablos Nocturna poured two more glasses of red wine.

“Yes,” the Aztec vampire princess smoothed her dress, “I found it– this painting of me with its unique ‘brush’ strokes and mixes of paint and precious stains.”

“And what did the art dealer have to say when you bought it?” Diablos Nocturna asked.

“He said it was a good thing for art and history that the German businessman who bought the painting in the early 1930s took seriously ill the first week of May 1937 thus preventing both him and the painting from being aboard the Hindenburg that ill fated week,” Qonzilqointec answered.

“A good thing for art and history indeed,” Diablos Nocturna raised his glass of wine and drank a toast, “so anything else exciting happen to you in Paris?”.

“Well I watched that sleezy harlot Isis push Swiss scientist Dr. Fahrenheit Celsius off the bell tower of Notre Dame Cathedral which caused him to plunge to his death,” the Aztec vampire princess seethed through her vampiric fangs.

“Yes, I heard about that murder on the news here,” Diablos Nocturna finished his wine, “so it was the Vampiress Isis who committed it eh?”.

“Yes,” Qonzilqointec replied.

The news reported on BBC a week ago last Wednesday evening noted that not only had Dr. Celsius been killed but he had landed on top of a street corner poetry reciter killing him as well.

The street corner poetry reciter had just finished reciting John Donne’s famous lines, “Therefore, send not to know For whom the bell tolls, It tolls for thee” when the bell tower plunging Swiss scientist fell on top of him.

As for the deep-rooted enmity between Qonzilqointec and Isis, that went back to the time when the French Emperor Napoleon III who served as an imperial puppet for the Vampiress Isis’ plans for world domination attempted to place a Hapsburg on the throne of Mexico as the Emperor Maximilian I.

This ticked off the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec who believed that the throne of Mexico was reserved for her spiritual godfather Quetzalcoatl.

“So you went to Paris to purchase a painting that Toulouse-Lautrec painted of you,” Diablos Nocturna smiled at Qonzilqointec, “what brings you to London?”.

“I came to see Dr. Cadbury Rocher,” Qonzilqointec answered, “and then I saw Renfield R. Renfield.”

“You saw the Vampire Set’s chief research scientist and then his shapeshifting hamster/human Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering?” Diablos Nocturna lit a pipe.

“That’s right,” the Aztec vampire princess nodded.

“So how’s Renfield doing?” Diablos Nocturna looked up the term Severe Narcissistic Personality Disorder in the Complete Oxford Dictionary and noticed Renfield’s picture was along side it.

“Well talking of oil paintings of people posing in the nude,” Qonzilqointec laughed, “Renfield boasted to me that a well-known Malaysian woman artist who I had never heard of had painted two oil paintings of him posing in the nude.”

“Really?” Diablos Nocturna started to choke on his pipe, “and whatever became of those paintings?”.

“Well one of them disappeared along with the plane that it was on- Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370,” the Aztec vampire princess replied, “and the other went down on Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 when the Amsterdam art dealer who bought it was trying to return it to the Kuala Lumpur art gallery from which he bought it to demand his money back.”

“I see,” Diablos Nocturna remarked.

“Although,” the Aztec vampire princess rubbed her chin, “there are rumours that it was found among the wreckage on the ground and its finding is responsible for giving recurring nightmares to Russian soldiers who are covertly operating in Ukrainian territory.”

“That I can believe,” Diablos Nocturna emptied his pipe.

“And now,” Qonzilqointec approached him, “I have discussed with Dr. Cadbury Rocher and Renfield R. Renfield a project I have in mind. And now I’m going to discuss that project with you.”

She leaned forward giving Diablos Nocturna a good view of her ample bosom down her low-cut evening dress.

“Well,” Diablos Nocturna said, “as Dr. Frasier Crane used to say on his Seattle radio call- in show on that old 1990s TV comedy series Frasier, ‘I’m listening’. ”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
during the time period
of Tuesday October 7th
to
Friday October 10th
2014.

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Diablos Nocturna At The NATO Summit In Newport Wales

September 12, 2014 at 7:47 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Diablos Nocturna At The NATO Summit In Newport Wales

The NATO Summit in Newport Wales was winding down.

Most of the world leaders had left.

And MI-6 agent Diablos Nocturna who had overseen security operations at the summit was watching the shutting down of the summit.

He saw Monica Dhaliwal his liaison with CSIS (the Canadian Security Intelligence Service) approach looking very attractive and stylish in her white blouse, blue jacket, tight blue skirt, black silk pantyhose and striking cerulean blue spiked stiletto high- heeled shoes.

She was definitely the reason he had enjoyed working this summit so much.

She flashed a warm smile as she stood face-to-face with him.

“So,” she flicked her hair back as she spoke, “how ever did you come up with the code name Diablos Nocturna – Devil of the Night?”.

“From medieval legends of the incubus,” Diablos Nocturna replied.

“The male demon who slept with beautiful women in the night?” Monica Dhaliwal smiled again.

“The same,” Diablos Nocturna nodded.

“Say who was that woman who looked like the singer Rihanna and was dressed in a Dior red evening gown and hob nobbed with all the world leaders at all the summit dinners?” Monica Dhaliwal asked.

“That’s the Paris-based billionairess and Egyptian Vampiress Isis,” Diablos Nocturna replied.

“Vampiress?” The female CSIS agent was shocked.

“Yes her brother, brother-in-law and arch-enemy the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set lives in London,” the MI-6 operative answered.

“So you mean there really are such things as vampires and vampiresses?” Monica Dhaliwal adjusted her skirt.

“There are indeed,” the MI-6 agent replied.

“In my university days,” Monica Dhaliwal began stroking her hair, “I’d heard talk of a legendary Canadian vampire hunter by the name of Dracul Van Helsing. Does he actually exist?”.

“He does,” Diablos Nocturna nodded, “I’ve heard of him.”

“This London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set,” the CSIS operative inquired, “does he have anything to do with Set Enterprises the British research and development firm that’s said to be engaged in secret and very controversial genetics experiments?”.

“Yes, he owns it,” Diablos Nocturna took note of a news channel helicopter in the distance, “you might also have heard of his controversial corporate Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering the notorious Renfield R. Renfield. He has quite the reputation in international espionage circles.”

“Renfield R. Renfield works for Set?” The CSIS agent had indeed heard of the ruthless and totally psychotic individual that Western intelligence agencies turned to as a last resort when it came to dealing with the vilest scum of the Earth.

There were rumours that The Blacklist TV series’ character of Raymond Red Reddington was actually modeled on Renfield R. Renfield.

“Yes he works for Set,” Diablos Nocturna answered.

The MI-6 agent invited the CSIS agent for a drink in a nearby Welsh pub.

As they approached the pub entrance from the street, Welsh werewolf (although most people didn’t know that he was a werewolf) British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley came rushing out of the pub.

“They don’t have any buttermilk in this pub,” Magog Rhys Petley gasped, “in fact, they don’t seem to have buttermilk anywhere in town.”

He went running down the street shouting, “Buttermilk. I need buttermilk.”

“Quite the eccentric character,” Monica Dhaliwal looked down the street after him.

“That was Magog Rhys Petley a Welsh Member of Parliament at Westminster,” Diablos Nocturna stated, “Obviously a man who enjoys his buttermilk.”

They entered the pub.

. . .

“So what was this Vampiress Isis doing talking to all those world leaders?” Monica Dhaliwal asked Diablos Nocturna after they sat down.

“She’s hoping to use NATO to destroy Vladimir Putin’s Russia,” Diablos Nocturna replied.

“I see,” Monica Dhaliwal looked puzzled, “and why does she want to do that?”.

“Because it was a Russian nuclear submarine that used a laser death ray to disintegrate the spaceship that was returning her brother, husband and lover Osiris to Earth from the star system of Sirius back on December 21st 2012 and she’s vowed vengeance ever since,” the MI-6 operative replied.

“I see,” the CSIS operative felt she was in a dream.

“All part of a long-standing family feud that originated in Egypt millenia ago,” Diablos Nocturna explained, “when their brother Set cut up Osiris into 14 pieces and scattered the body parts throughout Egypt. Isis who was married to Osiris managed to find all the parts save one and put them back together again and using Egyptian magic managed to resurrect Osiris. But then Set managed to cast a Black Magic spell on Osiris transporting him and exiling him to a planet in the star system of Sirius. So Horus the son of Isis and Osiris who was also Set’s nephew buried Set alive in a tomb. Set’s tomb was then discovered and opened on November 11th 1918 at ironically enough exactly 1100 hours Greenwich time when the Armistice ending the First World War came into effect. Set fled the tomb after his sarcophagus lid was taken off and he’s been wreaking his havoc on the world ever since.”

“I see,” Monica Dhaliwal sipped her Chai tea (which she was surprised to see offered in a Welsh pub), “and how was it that Osiris returned to Earth on December 21st 2012?”.

“It was because of the Black Magic spell that Set cast on Osiris,” Diablos Nocturna explained, “for ancient Egyptian witchcraft Black Magic spells like most modern food and dairy products had an expiration date on it. And the expiration date for the spell exiling Osiris to the star system of Sirius ended December 21st 2012 on our calendar. It was an expiration date of which the Mayans, the Aztecs and the Hopi Indians were aware. Their prophecies about this event gave the History Channel a lot to talk about on its programs throughout most of the first 12 years of the 21st Century. For all intensive public purposes since nothing appeared to happen on December 21st 2012, they’ve scrambled to try to find a replacement and think that endless reruns of American Pickers will somehow capture the imagination of the television viewing public. If, like Isis, subscribers to the History Channel knew what really happened on December 21st 2012, they too would be calling for Vladimir Putin’s head on a silver platter.”

“So for Isis, all hopes of Osiris’ return have vanished into thin air like disintegrated particles from the after effects of a laser death ray?” Monica Dhaliwal asked.

“Yes, having one’s anatomical body parts reduced to the sub-atomic level is certainly more of a challenge to put back together again than just being cut up into 14 pieces,” Diablos Nocturna admitted, “but it so happened that leading Swiss scientist Dr. Fahrenheit Celsius happened to be in the area of Vancouver’s English Bay at the time and happened to use a mirror and the sounds of the sea from a large sea shell he was holding to collect the disintegrated particles from the laser death ray explosion and put them into a working model of the CERN Large Hadron Collider he had in his rowboat with him at the time.”

“So the particles of Osiris’ sub-atomic structure were gathered into Dr. Fahrenheit Celsius’ working model of the CERN Large Hadron Collider?” Monica Dhaliwal asked.

“Along with the sub-atomic particles of the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl who was arriving in a space ship from Saturn’s moon Titan in the same vicinity at the same time and was likewise disintegrated from the laser death ray fired by the Russian nuclear submarine that was illegally trespassing in Canadian coastal waters at the time,” Diablos Nocturna answered.

“Wow, I never heard about that in my History of War and Conflict Class at UBC,” said Monica Dhaliwal who was a recent graduate of the University of British Columbia prior to her recruitment by CSIS.

“Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper covered up the whole incident to prevent a possible war with Russia,” Diablos Nocturna explained, “and Harper’s NATO ally U.S. President Barack Obama is still working on a strategy to respond to the whole incident. He may come up with such a working strategy at the same time he finally comes up with a strategy against ISIS- that is the Islamist terrorist caliphate not the Paris-based billionairess Egyptian Vampiress.”

“So whatever became of the particles that were placed inside Dr. Fahrenheit Celsius’ model of the CERN Large Hadron Collider?” the CSIS agent asked.

“They’re now in the Vampiress Isis’ secret subterranean laboratory below Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris,” Diablos Nocturna replied, “although it’s not as secret as she thinks it is since MI-6 knows all about it. There Dr. Fahrenheit Celsius and a number of other of the world’s leading scientists are working to put the particles of Osiris back together again.”

“Why is the Vampiress Isis’ laboratory located beneath Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris?” Monica Dhaliwal inquired.

“It’s my understanding that Isis is a big fan of the late great British actor Charles Laughton,” the MI-6 agent answered, “and particularly enjoyed his 1939 film The Hunchback of Notre Dame.”

“So are they having any success putting the particles of Osiris back together again?” The CSIS agent looked at the pattern in her cup of chai tea.

“Well according to a theoretical research paper written by a professor of particle physics at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology,” Diablos Nocturna put a little pepper on his dish of Welsh rarebit, “an ET gray’s laser death ray gun fired in reverse into the surrounding atmosphere might be able to put the particles back together again.”

“So all Isis has to do then is to get her hands on an ET gray’s laser death ray gun,” Monica Dhaliwal picked up her fork to sample her own dish of Welsh rarebit.

“That’s right,” Diablos Nocturna nodded, “and there may be a bit of a problem getting that.”

On the radio in the Welsh pub was playing the latest release from the American music group Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers with their lead vocalist Sekhmet singing the lyrics that were also the title of the song, “Mr. ET Gray, I’m So Sorry I Lost Your Laser Death Ray Gun.”

In the distance outside the pub could be heard the melancholy haunting sound of what sounded like a werewolf howling.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 6th
2014

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Renfield’s Direct Video Response To ISIS Beheading Video

August 28, 2014 at 6:30 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield’s Direct Video Response To ISIS Beheading Video

U. S. Navy SEAL Commandos had seized and captured yet another ISIS fighter in Iraq.

He was once again handed over to Renfield R. Renfield to make yet another special Renfield video production to post to YouTube.

Renfield had already used one captured ISIS fighter to post on YouTube his own personally signatured response to the Ice Bucket Challenge that was the latest fad and trend that was all the rage on all the social networking sites.

Renfield decided to do a beheading video of his own and post it to YouTube as his video response to the ISIS beheading video of James Foley.

For this particular video, Renfield thought it would be cool to dress like a ninja.

So he was dressed like a hooded and masked ninja holding a samurai sword.

The ISIS prisoner (who had his hands cuffed behind his back and was down on his knees) wore a pink mini dress, very bright pink silk nylons, gold dust sprinkled bright pink stiletto shoes and a pink wig.

The ISIS prisoner was filmed from all angles so his ISIS compatriots watching the video could get a good look at the drag queen he had been turned into.

Renfield then took off the ISIS fighter’s pink wig and showed his face to the camera so his ISIS compatriots could get a good visual ID of the man showing that he was indeed an ISIS comrade.

The video then showed a film clip of an interview with a professor of medieval Arabic at the University of Manchester who was a specialist in 7th Century Arabic dialects.

He said the verse translated in the Quran promising male believers 72 virgins in paradise should actually be translated “raisins”.

“Just to make sure you get your raisins where you’re going,” Renfield grinned at the camera, “we’re dispatching 72 raisins along with you.”

The video then showed a film clip of two male Beverly Hills hairdressers recently married in a California same-sex wedding ceremony sitting at a table counting out exactly 72 raisins from a bag of California raisins.

They then dropped the 72 raisins into a plastic bag and sealed it with a kiss.

“Especially for the ISIS fighter and martyr,” one of the men blew kisses at the camera before sipping from a pink daiquiri.

“And we have those raisins in the bag right here,” Renfield held up the plastic bag of raisins for the camera, “instead of Columbian coffee beans hand picked by Juan Valdez, we have California raisins hand picked by Beverly Hills hairdressers Harry Capote and Al Truman.”

A movie trailer for that old movie The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is then shown.

Renfield then starts up a chainsaw.

A group of dark- eyed virgins dressed in Middle East harem dresses and veils and wearing t-shirts that say FOR MI-6 EYES ONLY then went over and lifted up the ISIS fighter’s pink mini dress and pulled down his silk panties.

Renfield then took the chainsaw and cut off the ISIS fighter’s phallus.

“Now we pour honey on top,” Renfield poured honey out of a jar on top of the phallus.

“Next we add the 72 raisins,” Renfield using surgical gloved hands reached into the bag of raisins and sprinkled them on top of the honey-covered phallus.

Because of the honey, the raisins immediately stuck to the phallus.

“We don’t have any Ancient Greek drachma coins to put in your mouth to help you with your journey across the River Styx but we do have this,” Renfield then shoved the honey and 72 raisin covered phallus into the ISIS fighter’s mouth.

After showing this image to the camera, the video then went to a clip of the ISIS beheading video of James Foley.

The camera then panned in on the knife the ISIS beheader was holding.

A movie clip of Paul Hogan as Crocodile Dundee speaking his famous line “That’s not a knife” is then shown.

A long shot of Renfield as ninja holding his samurai sword behind the drag queen looking ISIS fighter with the phallus in his mouth.

Renfield then rips off the ISIS fighter’s pink wig.

The camera then pans in on Renfield’s samurai sword.

Another movie clip of Paul Hogan as Crocodile Dundee is then shown.

This time he speaks the line, “Now that’s a knife.”

Renfield then beheads the ISIS fighter with his samurai sword.

The credits are then shown as someone sings the song “My knife is bigger than your knife” in the background.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 28th
2014.

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Renfield Puts Ad On eBay

August 20, 2014 at 3:31 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Puts Ad On eBay

The Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the Russian FSB was being held in an MI-6 owned building in central London.

Renfield R. Renfield had abducted the Russian Vampiress at stake point in an antique shop in Munich, Bavaria over a week ago.

MI-6 were interrogating the Russian Vampiress for detailed personal information about her boss Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Meanwhile the high-ranking elements within the British establishment who had hired Renfield R. Renfield to bump off Vladimir Putin had decided to put their assassination plans on hold for awhile for some reason.

In the meantime, Renfield was sifting through the antique Bavarian beer mugs he had taken from Miss Kireeva that she had purchased from the antique store prior to his abducting her.

Renfield decided to put the items up for sale on eBay.

As Russian President Vladimir Putin checked out eBay looking for antique Bavarian beer mugs, he happened to notice Renfield’s ad.

“Why,” the Russian leader cried out, “those are the very type of antique Bavarian beer mugs I’ve been looking for.”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 18th
2014.

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Renfield’s Phone Call From British Government Official

July 31, 2014 at 3:32 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield’s Phone Call From British Government Official

A high-ranking official in the British government phoned Renfield R. Renfield to ask him how his questioning of Ukrainian Vampiress Inna Huculak (who was in the protective custody of the Mossad) went.

“So,” the high-ranking British government official was anxious to know, “what have you discovered on your recent visit to Israel?”.

“That locusts and wild honey don’t taste as badly as I thought they would,” replied Renfield who was staying at the John The Baptist Inn near the River Jordan.

“I was talking about your conversation with the Ukrainian Vampiress Inna Huculak regarding the Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the FSB,” said the high-ranking official.

“Oh,” said Renfield as he bit into a locust and wild honey-covered tuna fish sandwich.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 30th
2014.

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Renfield In Israel

July 23, 2014 at 2:50 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield In Israel

Renfield flew his Boss’ private plane from London to Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv since U.S. and European commercial airlines suspended their flights there due to a Hamas rocket landing one mile away from the airport.

Renfield was to meet the Mossad agent called The Controller of The Golem.

He would then be taken to meet Ukrainian Vampiress Inna Hukulak who was in the protective custody of Mossad after she had been rescued by Israeli commandos from an FSB interrogation center in Moscow last month.

From Miss Hukulak, he would be given detailed information about Miss Hukulak’s personal arch-enemy the Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the FSB.

Miss Kireeva would then be the one to use to get close to Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Renfield’s meeting with the Controller of The Golem had been arranged by MI-6 Agent Diablos Nocturna.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday July 22nd
2014.

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Renfield Meets Diablos Nocturna In London

July 21, 2014 at 3:01 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Meets Diablos Nocturna In London

Renfield R. Renfield had gone to a fish and chips shop in central London to meet with an MI-6 agent called Diablos Nocturna who had contacted him and requested the meeting.

“You!” Renfield R. Renfield recognized the man as soon as he saw him.

For he had known the man prior to his becoming the MI-6 agent whose code name was Diablos Nocturna.

“Hello Renfield,” the man smiled at him.

“So you work for MI-6 now?” Renfield said as he picked up a menu.

“That’s right,” Diablos replied.

Later after both men had finished their fish and chips, they got down to discussing business.

They discussed the recent shooting down of Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 over eastern Ukraine and the efforts by pro-Russian rebels in the region to sabotage a proper international investigation into the incident.

“Anyways,” Diablos Nocturna now spoke in the coded parlance of the language of international espionage, “certain parties have decided that it would probably be in the best interests of the world community at large if Russian President Vladimir Putin were to make a sudden and unexpected (for him!) departure from the world stage.”

“From the world stage?” Renfield perked up his ears.

“More specifically from this particular plane of existence,” Diablos added for clarification.

“Oh,” Renfield smiled as he was starting to get the drift of the conversation.

He was starting to feel like the Nicolas Cage character in the 2008 film Bangkok Dangerous.

Although of course Renfield would not be subject to the sudden pangs of conscience that the Nicolas Cage character was.

A fact of which MI-6’s Diablos Nocturna was aware.

“Anyhow there would be a great deal of money in it for you if you could help bring about Mr. Putin’s sudden and unexpected departure from the world stage and this plane of existence,” Diablos went on.

“How much money are we talking about?” Renfield sipped his tea.

Diablos Nocturna wrote the amount on a napkin and handed it to him.

Renfield swallowed his tea in one gulp as he gazed at the amount.

“All right I’ll do it,” Renfield dabbed his lips with another napkin and then put the napkin with the monetary figure written on it into his wallet.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday July 20th
2014.

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Isis and Gen. Vulkan In Poland

May 8, 2014 at 7:31 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Isis and Gen. Vulkan In Poland

The Egyptian Vampiress Isis was dressed like an Egyptian queen as she inspected NATO troops in Poland.

She wore a long flowing white dress, a necklace of diamonds, jade, rubies and sapphires, a diamond tiara adorned by a precious pearl at the top that was cut in the shape of a crescent moon, and silver embroidered spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes that had on each shoe a pure gold coin as round as the circumference of the sun and bearing the image and inscription of the ancient Roman deity Sol Invictus.

The NATO soldiers on the ground had no idea who this exotic looking strikingly beautiful woman was who was inspecting them and being led around in her inspection by German Gen. Wolfgang Vulkan.

The soldiers knew it couldn’t be German Chancellor Angela Merkel as (mercifully for them) she looked nothing like the German Chancellor.

She looked like American singing superstar Rihanna.

Watching the spectacle and the inspection was the U.K. ‘s Secret Intelligence Service MI-6 Agent who was known only by his code name Diablos Nocturna.

Diablos Nocturna was pretty sure that the one- eyed German general showing Isis the troops was the ancient Norse vampire Odin worshipped as Odin by the Vikings and as Wotan by the ancient Germanic tribes.

“So Gen. Vulkan,” Isis looked directly into the General’s good-eye, “do you think we’ll finally have a war against Russia?”.

“That is my fondest hope, my lady,” the general bowed to her, “as it is yours.”

. . .

The Mossad agent they called the Controller of the Golem read the document that had been forwarded to him from Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

It was a copy of a handwritten note sent to Mr. Netanyahu earlier this year by the Paris-based Egyptian billionairess Isis (whom rumour had it was a Vampiress) offering to help the Israeli government build a Third Jewish Temple on the Temple Mount provided they erected a statue to the ancient Egyptian god Osiris within the Temple.

. . .

MI-6 Agent Diablos Nocturna was engaged in a night of passionate lovemaking and steamy sex with the sexy and sultry Egyptian Vampiress Isis.

After sex, both of them put nicotine patches on their bodies to get the respective post-coital nicotine high while escaping the hazards of dying from lung cancer due to smoking cigarettes (although in Isis’ case she needn’t have worried since a wooden stake through the heart would be far more lethal than any cigarette).

As she inhaled the pretend non-existent cigarette in her mouth, she received a text message on her smart phone from Gen. Vulkan, Interesting developments on the ground in Ukraine. It’s Brussels sprouts for the Valkyries.

Isis immediately stood up and got dressed.

Looking every inch an Egyptian queen, she adjusted her dress and announced, “I’ve got to get to NATO Headquarters in Brussels.”

She left.

At that moment, Diablos Nocturna received a text message from the Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec in Mexico City.

He said with all the eloquence of a Tom Hanks character in a movie adaptation of a Dan Brown novel, “I’ve got to get me to an antiquarian book store in the Gloucestershire town of Tewkesbury.”

. . .

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 8th
2014.

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The Controller of The Golem

March 11, 2014 at 7:15 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Controller of The Golem

The most shadowy and yet possibly the most powerful figure in the Israeli Mossad Organization was a man known only as the Controller of the Golem.

His name and true identity was top secret.

CIA agent Bob Belfor had been sent by his superiors in Washington D.C. to talk to the Controller of the Golem about a shipment of weapons that the Israeli Navy seized in the Red Sea off Sudan last week.

A Panamanian flagged vessel the Klos-C had been boarded by the Israeli Navy who claimed to have found on board dozens of Syrian made M-302 rockets that were being shipped by the Islamic Republic of Iran to Hamas militants in the Gaza Strip.

The rockets that were found were said to have a range of 150 to 200 kilometers.

Apparently America’s Neville Chamberlainesque President Barack Obama was having a hard time believing that Iran could possibly do anything wrong.

So Belfor had been sent by Washington to see for himself the shipment.

The Belfor report would then be given to President Obama to digest (no doubt leading to massive indigestion on his part).

After Belfor had been shown the shipment, he then went to talk to the Controller of the Golem.

They had a discussion about the Iranian leadership.

“Of course,” the Controller of the Golem went on, “we found out how tolerant and peace-loving the theocratic thug rulers of Iran really were when on February 14th 1989 the Supreme Leader of Iran the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini issued a fatwa or death sentence on Indian born British subject and writer Salman Rushdie for his book The Satanic Verses.”

“I’ve never really read the book,” said Belfor, “because as a CIA agent, I don’t have time to read. I’m too busy playing on-line games like World of Warcraft on the off-chance some terrorist cells are conversing with one another via the game. You’ll never guess what level I reached in the game last week…”

The Controller of the Golem was starting to think that the old 1960s Mel Brooks television series Get Smart was the most accurate screen depiction ever made about the American “intelligence” community.

. . .

Sonia Sedgewick was one of MI-6’s top agents.

She had been sent by 10 Downing Street in London to Israel to see for herself the shipment of Syrian made rockets that the Israelis claimed had been sent by Iran intended for Hamas in the Gaza Strip.

The Controller of The Golem enjoyed talking to this intelligent and very beautiful woman who was smartly dressed in a gray skirt and white blouse.

She had heard of Salman Rushdie although she too had never read his book The Satanic Verses.

“I must confess in terms of books for personal reading I’ve never really read anything past 1900,” she laughed, “I’m strictly a Will Shakespeare and Jane Austen girl.”

The Controller of the Golem could have kissed her but he felt it might have been construed as unprofessional conduct.

“These satanic verses that Rushdie wrote about for which he was condemned to die by the Ayatollah Khomeini,” Sonia asked him, “weren’t these purported to be actual verses in the Quran that the Prophet Mohammed claimed the Devil caused him to put in the first written copy of the Quran and he later took these verses out in later copies of the Quran?”.

“That’s right,” the Controller of the Golem answered.

“What did these verses actually say?” Sonia asked, “what exactly were the satanic verses?”.

“That Allah had three daughters,” the Controller of the Golem replied.

“That Allah had three daughters?” Sonia Sedgewick was incredulous, “but don’t Muslims condemn Christians for suggesting that God had a son?”.

“That’s right,” the Controller of the Golem nodded.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 11th
2014.

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