The Mermaid and The Mossad Agent

May 14, 2017 at 3:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Vampire novel) (, , , )

The Mossad agent they called the Controller of the Golem received a phone call in his Jerusalem office.

A mermaid had been found stranded on the beaches of Tel Aviv.

The mermaid was now recuperating in an Israeli government aquatics laboratory.

The Controller and those in the know in the Israeli government knew there were such things as mermaids.

In fact, U.S. President George W. Bush had ordered a secret special commando raid on the city of Mosul early on in the 2003 U.S. invasion of Iraq in order to grab a rare copy of the Babylonian Talmud from a Mosul museum.

This particular copy of the Babylonian Talmud was the only one in existence where the existence of mermaids was specifically mentioned and acknowledged.

So the Controller wasn’t surprised by the mermaid’s existence.

He did know that landing on a public beach was a rare thing for a mermaid to do.

The Controller went down to the aquatics laboratory to see the mermaid.

“Hello,” the Controller spoke to the mermaid sleeping in the salt water tank.

“Nathan,” the mermaid opened her eyes and looked at him.

The Controller was startled.

For not many knew the Mossad agent’s actual first name outside a select few.

“Yes, I’m Nathan,” the Controller of the Golem acknowledged, “and what is your name?”.

“Miranda,” answered the mermaid and she promptly fell asleep again.

“Miranda,” the Mossad agent repeated the name to himself as he looked at the sleeping mermaid, “O brave new world that has such people in it!”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 14th
2017.
Miranda The Mermaid

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Magog’s Treaty

October 21, 2016 at 3:14 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Magog’s Treaty

Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley was back from a secret diplomatic mission on behalf of the British government.

He had managed to obtain a memorandum of understanding between the government of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad and the non-ISIS opponents of Assad.

British Prime Minister Theresa May was hopeful this would end the Syrian Civil War.

Magog passed off the final writing of the treaty to a close acquaintance Renfield R. Renfield.

Copies of the treaty were faxed to all parties.

The call came into 10 Downing Street.

Not one of the parties would sign the treaty because they couldn’t read it.

A disappointed Mrs. May phoned Magog Rhys Petley.

Magog in turn phoned Renfield.

“They won’t sign the treaty because they claim they can’t read it,” said Magog.

“That is weird,” Renfield admitted, “because since I couldn’t do it myself, I got my pharmacist to write up the treaty.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 21st
2016.

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Haiku About 1973 Yom Kippur War

October 6, 2016 at 3:34 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Poetry) (, , , , , , )

Haiku About 1973 Yom Kippur War

Day of Atonement
war breaks out no atonement
peace still elusive

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Limericks About Two World Leaders- Vladimir Putin and Barack Obama

September 3, 2014 at 3:44 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Limericks About 2 World Leaders

Limerick About Vladimir Putin

There was a man named Putin
for world opinion didn’t give a hootin’
marched into Ukraine
giving Europe much pain
and Stalin’s ghost’s a-rootin’

Limerick About Barack Obama

There was a man named Obama
under whose rule was slain Osama
but when it came to ISIS
he suffered paralysis
and couldn’t strategize worth a damn-a

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Haiku About Israel vs. Hamas Conflict

July 12, 2014 at 6:43 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Poetry) (, , , , , , )

Haiku About Israel vs. Hamas Conflict

The war in Gaza
The only clear cut winner
is figure of Death

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The Cobra On The Temple Mount

March 31, 2014 at 7:29 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Cobra On The Temple Mount

On this last day of March in the year 2014, Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol once again stood on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem.

He once again looked for signs of the panther Konalu the supernatural entity that was astral projected at a great distance by Fenrir the Norse apocalyptic wolf of the Battle of Ragnarok.

But no Konalu.

He also looked around for signs of the demon Asmodeus that he had recently spotted on the Temple Mount.

But no Asmodeus.

What he saw instead was a giant Cobra seemingly emerging from the center of the Earth below the Temple Mount.

The Cobra rose and rose.

And stood atop the Temple Mount rising to a tremendous height above the City of Jerusalem- the same height as the statue of Christ the Redeemer that overlooks the City of Rio de Janeiro in Brazil.

People on and around the Temple Mount were oblivious to the presence of the Cobra as if it were an invisible force.

Muslim believers continued to enter and exit the al-Aqsa Mosque.

Jewish believers continued to pray at the Wailing Wall at the foot of the western side of the Temple Mount.

And confused American tourists at the bottom of the Temple Mount asked whereabouts was the Temple of Solomon as they wanted to get a pic of it to post to their Facebook page.

The Cobra bared its fangs and let out a huge hiss.

The hiss seemed to attract a huge flock of ferocious looking ravens who flew down and settled all over the Temple Mount.

Opposite the Temple Mount in the eastern sky flew a lone white dove.

In his mind, Whitstable thought he could hear a soft gentle female voice singing,

Fly little white dove fly
spread your wings sing out your cry
‘cross the universal sky…

The little white dove turned and flew away looking for a land where it would truly feel welcome.

It had a long way to fly.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 31st
2014.

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Lilith In Saudi Arabia

March 28, 2014 at 6:21 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Lilith In Saudi Arabia

The beautiful and sexy Babylonian Vampiress Lilith was in Saudi Arabia.

She was inside the oasis camp of Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah outside the Saudi capital of Riyadh.

She had come to eavesdrop on the conversation between Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah and U.S. President Barack Obama.

She flew directly over the King’s Saudi bodyguard.

And she had no trouble getting past the U.S. Secret Service detail who were supposed to be guarding U.S. President Barack Obama.

All she had to do was lift up her dress and the U.S. Secret Service bodyguards immediately started masturbating on the spot.

She hearkened to the room where President Obama and King Abdullah were meeting.

She hid behind a curtain and listened.

When the meeting was over, she turned into a bat and flew off into the night.

As he was leaving, President Obama decided to shake the hand of the lead U.S. Secret Service agent who had been guarding him.

“Good God,” were President Obama’s first words as he boarded the Marine One helicopter, “anybody got a wet hand wipe?”.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 28th
2014.

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Napoleon’s 244th Birthday and The Ghosts of Antiochus Epiphanes and Alexander The Great

August 15, 2013 at 6:19 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Napoleon’s 244th  Birthday and The Ghosts of Antiochus Epiphanes and Alexander The Great

As ghosts continued to leave Hades by the thousands after Cerberus abandoned his post at the River Styx (the 3-headed dog was currently frolicking on a Mexican beach drinking Mexican Bulldogs which was a combination of Margarita and Corona beer and then complaining about the bill since all 3 heads were imbibing) , the ghost of Antiochus Epiphanes was walking the streets of Damascus and looking at all the carnage and said, “Well if people really want, I’ll gladly become King of Syria again.”

At the moment he spoke those words,  a small but powerful tremor shook the Temple Mount in Jerusalem.

                 .            .             .

At the CERN Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland, the ghosts of Alexander The Great, his generals and his soldiers had taken over the facility.

For Alexander being the great genius he was with his strategic frame of mind and tactical insight had realized that by taking over the CERN Large Hadron Collider, he could make himself the Master of Time and thus the Master of the Universe.

                  .            .            .

The ghost of Napoleon Bonaparte had taken over Magog Rhys Petley’s hotel room in Cairo much to the British Labour MP’s displeasure.

Magog had gone out to see what cheap souvenirs he could pick up at the neighbourhood bazaar.

Napoleon decided to mark his 244th birthday which was today by having a bunch of harem style dancing girls dancing for him in the hotel room.

He had also ordered a cake personally baked for him by world famous Toronto Ontario based cake maker Joanna Lo the Caking Girl (made in the shape of the City of Paris) .

He also had 244 candles placed on the cake by one of the dancing girls and then another dancing girl (with a low-cut top)  bent over to light them all.

Napoleon’s ghost then made a wish (which was to rule the world) and then tried to blow out all 244 candles.

But seeing as how Napoleon was now spirit, he could not blow out physical objects.

A huge fire broke out in the hotel room.

                      .          .           .

Authorities blamed the hotel fire on the Muslim Brotherhood and used that as an excuse for rounding up and arresting more members.

Magog consoled himself by licking the lovely yet slightly singed breasts of a beautiful woman who said her breasts were singed when she had to light 244 candles on a birthday cake.

To be continued.

– A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Thursday August 15th
 2013.

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Pan Goatee and Neb-Senu In Bethlehem

July 7, 2013 at 9:09 pm (The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee and his friend the spirit of the statue of Neb-Senu had astral projected themselves to the town of Bethlehem in the West Bank.

Pan Goatee had not only taught himself the art of astral projection the past few weeks but had also recently mastered the ability to shapeshift into other human forms.

He shape shifted into the appearance of a West Bank Jewish settler and went into a Palestinian neighbourhood and slaughtered a bunch of Palestinian children.

He then shapeshifted into the appearance of a fighter member of the Fatah al-Aqsa Martyrs’ Brigade and went into a nearby Jewish settlement and slaughtered a bunch of Jewish settler children.

“Nothing like starting a shit load of trouble between people,” Pan Goatee shapeshifted into Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow and winked at Neb-Senu.

They then astral projected themselves into the doctor’s office of a hospital in Bethlehem to see what trouble they could cause there.

The doctor was out of his office but the TV was on and the satellite had picked up a transmission of an old 1960s American TV program Batman.

“Unholy smokeless fire, Batman,” Robin the Boy Wonder shouted to the Caped Crusader.

The jinn in the test tube in the doctor’s office thought he was the one being talked about and looked towards the TV screen.

That’s when he noticed the astral bodies of Pan Goatee and Neb-Senu.

The jinn (who was of the Marid variety of jinn) had been imprisoned in the test tube for a few months now.

He had been told in a vision that the only way he could escape was to get another entity to take his place.

The jinn noticed one of the entities appeared to be Egyptian and the other entity appeared to be a bad impersonation of American actor Johnny Depp as pirate Captain Jack Sparrow.

Inside the test tube, the Marid jinn shapeshifted into an alluring female Egyptian Sila jinn who sang a sweet song of seduction in Egyptian to the entity known as Neb-Senu.

Eagerly, Neb-Senu astral projected into the test tube allowing the Marid jinn to make his escape.

The Marid jinn quickly astral projected himself into the direction of the Mediterranean Sea.

When Pan Goatee saw that his friend Neb-Senu could not astral project himself out of the test tube, all he could say was “Oh shit.”

Pan then astral projected himself to a Gypsy crystal ball reader on London’s Carnaby Street for advice.

Meanwhile in another section of the hospital, Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley in his booming Welsh voice said, “I declare this maternity ward officially open…”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday evening circa 7 PM
July 7th 2013

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Werewolf On The Road To Damascus Part 2

November 20, 2011 at 9:08 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Magog Rhys Petley was meeting with Syrian President Bashar Assad in the Presidential Palace in Damascus.

“Mr. President,” Rhys Petley pulled a letter from out of his pocket, “I’m here to give you a highly confidential message from the British government…”

“First, I must tell you there are no human rights violations or mass killings going on in Syria,” Bashar Assad wagged his finger at Magog Rhys Petley.

Outside could be heard the sounds of machine gun fire and the voices of men, women and children screaming in unison, “I’ve been shot… I’ve just been shot…”

Suddenly the Syro-Phoenician vampiress Astarte appeared from behind the curtains wearing only a see-through black silk lingerie nightie and did a quiet dance for Magog Rhys Petley’s viewing pleasure.

Magog Rhys Petley felt a huge erection coming on.

Not to mention the fact that whenever he was sexually aroused, he turned into a werewolf.

Within seconds, Rhys Petley had grown fur and was crawling around on all fours and snarling and growling.

“A werewolf,” President Assad screamed, “the British government has sent a werewolf to kill me.”

Quickly Assad’s Presidential bodyguard formed a circle around him to protect him from said werewolf.

*      *    *

BBC News Announcer: This just in.  The Arab news service al-Jazeera is reporting that the Syrian government is making the bizarre claim that British Intelligence sent a werewolf to kill Syrian President Bashar Assad.

To be continued.

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