Benjamin Netanyahu, Spitsbergen and The Tewkesbury Debate

November 21, 2019 at 11:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Benjamin Netanyahu, Spitsbergen and The Tewkesbury Debate 

The debate being hosted tonight among candidates for MP for the constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds in the upcoming December 12th UK General Election was on the subject of Foreign Policy.

Renfield R. Renfield the current British Transhumanist Party MP for the Constituency as well as the current UK Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering was asked a question by the reporter for the local Lux Cream and Bagel Chronicle on the matter of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu today being formally charged by Israel’s Attorney-General with fraud, breach of trust and bribery.

Said the corned beef on rye eating reporter for the Lux Cream and Bagel Chronicle, “Mr. Netanyahu has described the charges as a “political witch hunt” and has said that the “authorities weren’t after the truth, they were after me” and has called on the country to “investigate the investigators”. Mr. Renfield, what is your take on that?”.

“Well,” Renfield finished off his 2nd 40 oz. bottle of Scotch whisky for the debate, “If I was Donald Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani, I’d be advising the Donald to sue Netanyahu for plagiarism and expropriation of one’s favourite turn of phrase x 3.”

The next question came from the reporter for the local Undrained Swamp Times and was addressed to British Conservative candidate (and former Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds MP) Agathor Christie, “Mr. Christie, at today’s impeachment hearing in Washington DC, there seemed to be a conflict between Republican and Democrat as to which country most likely interfered in the 2016 U.S. Presidential election- Russia or Ukraine. Mr. Christie, who do you think it was that interfered in the U.S. election in 2016?”.

“Well,” Christie was eating a bag full of Christie’s Chocolate Chip Cookies, “I personally believe that it was the Norwegian island of Spitsbergen that was responsible for foreign interference in the 2016 U.S. Presidential election. The hacking was done at computers at a popular jazz cafe on the island of Spitsbergen. This jazz cafe in Spitsbergen was first mentioned in a documentary that Orson Welles made back in 1973. The very same jazz cafe that was noted artist Pablo Picasso’s favourite destination during the winter months of the year…”

Christie was unable to finish his answer because he then passed out on to the floor.

“Well,” Renfield thought to himself, “we now know who was responsible for stealing and smoking that 20 gram bag of Canadian cannabis from Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster’s aquarium.”

There suddenly seemed to be a commotion in the meeting hall.

Renfield wondered whether an assassination attempt was about to happen.

Prior to the debate, Sherrielock Holmes the Chief of Security for Set Enterprises had informed Renfield that 3 different assassination teams would be after him tonight.

Russian President Vladimir Putin had sent an FSB assassination squad to bump Renfield off.

Donald Trump had sent a combined Israeli Mossad and Saudi Arabian hit squad (namely because he couldn’t trust U.S. deep state agency operatives to do his bidding) to bump Renfield off.

Pope Francis had sent a Jesuit hit squad to bump Renfield off.

Thus the meeting hall was stacked with Set Enterprises’ operatives and intelligence agents friendly to Renfield.

There was Set Enterprises secret agents Miranda Singh and Harvey Tallbanger, Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and South African intelligence operative Lepardia Marango.

South African intelligence operative Lepardia Marango: Backstage at the Tewkesbury constituency debate on Foreign Policy.

The four Renfield allied intelligence operatives moved quickly into action.

The light switches were hit.

The hall went dark.

And the 3 different assassination hit squad members ended up shooting and killing one another.

Renfield then invited his 4 intelligence operatives friends back to his B and B for late night tea and crumpets.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday November 21st
2019.

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Renfield Plots Revenge On British Commons Speaker John Bercow

October 21, 2019 at 10:42 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Plots Revenge On British Commons Speaker John Bercow

“It appears the Speaker of the House of Commons John Bercow did not learn his lesson the other night when he was kept awake by Pan Deux’s bagpipe playing and a recording of Nancy Pelosi moaning and groaning while using AOC’s confiscated vibrator,” said a livid British MP Renfield R. Renfield, “he disallowed a simple yes or no vote to be held in the Commons today on the Johnson-Renfield Brexit deal.”

“This John Bercow must be a sucker for punishment,” dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes purred elegantly as she chewed on her cat o’ nine tails and smoothed her black leather skirt.

“He must be,” Renfield agreed, “Miranda Singh has just returned from Turkey where she successfully kicked Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan in the balls with her spiked stilettos this past weekend. I’ve now hired her to go to the Speaker’s residence and kick John Bercow in the balls with her spiked stilettos this evening.”

“And when would you like me to tomato his buttocks?” Sherrielock asked.

“That will be the last resort,” Renfield smiled, “I understand you used your intelligence assets to dig up dirt on Bercow for me.”

“On one of his acquaintances actually,” Sherrielock answered, “not on Bercow himself.”

The dominatrix handed the Transhumanist MP several photos of Bercow with another man.

“Who’s this guy with Bercow?” Renfield inquired.

“He’s the Australian billionaire violin manufacturer Murdoch Pertru,” Sherrielock replied, “who has been seen in Bercow’s company on numerous occasions throughout the years.”

“Australian billionaire violin manufacturer?” Renfield was flabbergasted, “I didn’t even know they made violins over in Australia. Where do they get the wood? They don’t have any trees over there in Australia do they?”.

“They make violins from recycled tires,” said Sherrielock.

“Make violins from recycled tires?” Renfield was now doubly flabbergasted, “I’ve never heard of anything so ridiculous.”

“It’s an Australian thing apparently,” Sherrielock smiled.

“Who the Hell came up with the idea of making violins from recycled tires?” Renfield demanded to know.

“Well it definitely wasn’t Murdoch Pertru,” Sherrielock replied, “Making violins from recycled tires was apparently the brainchild of a notorious individual nicknamed Uncle Ernie who blew his mind on acid decades ago. Uncle Ernie held the patent for the Ernievarius as the violin is still called but he put up that patent as his stake in an LSD induced high stakes poker game which Ernie lost to Murdoch Pertru. Pertru went on to become a successful manufacturer of Ernievarius violins and a billionaire in the process. Uncle Ernie went on to become a successful entertainer at children’s birthday parties in Australia. That is when he wasn’t spending time in the hoosegow for what he did during those parties. Today he runs a small mail order business called Chemical of The Day Club.”

“And what sort of dirt have you dug up on Murdoch Pertru an acquaintance of John Bercow?” Renfield asked.

“Well apparently Pertru spends a great deal of time at a seedy opium den in Sydney’s Chinatown,” Sherrielock replied, “an establishment owned by a mysterious and inscrutable individual who goes by the name of Inn Lu. I’ve asked Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster to psychically look into the background of this Mr. Inn Lu which Michelangelo will do as soon as his lobster tank is repaired after a mysterious explosion that occurred after I entered the room.”

“And what does Murdoch Pertru do in Inn Lu’s seedy opium den?” Renfield inquired.

The dominatrix handed the MP more photographs.

“As you can see looking at those photos, Pertru was caught in several compromising positions with sex dolls made to look like kangaroos,” Sherrielock smiled, “The fact that Bercow is an acquaintance of such a debased defiler of kangaroo sex dolls should prove to be highly embarrassing for the Speaker.”

“Indeed,” Renfield admitted as the terrifying image of Bercow dressed as a sex doll kangaroo entered his mind.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Monday October 21st
2019.


Sherrielock Holmes: Mistress of Intrigue

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More of Renfield’s Hard Ball On Brexit

October 20, 2019 at 10:03 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

More of Renfield’s Hard Ball On Brexit

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was listening to BBC World News on the radio.

BBC Announcer: Meanwhile in Turkey, Turkish police are still looking for a beautiful Anglo-Indian woman who kicked Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan in the balls with her spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes this past Friday night…

Renfield smiled as he turned off the radio, “Glad to see Miranda delivered my message to Erdogan.”

“Undoubtedly a lot more effective than a singing telegram,” Amadeus Emanon had to admit, “so what have you got planned further in terms of domestic politics now that the international front has been covered?”.

“Well, of course, Conservative MP Sir Oliver Letwin has to be punished for bringing in that amendment in the Commons yesterday to withhold approval of the Johnson-Renfield Brexit deal until all the necessary legislation to implement it has been passed and to force the Prime Minister to write a letter to the EU requesting an extension to Brexit beyond the current October 31st deadline under the terms of the so-called Benn Act,” Renfield brought his Halloween vampire costume fangs out and put them in his mouth.

“Did Johnson send the letter?” Amadeus asked.

“He did,” Renfield nodded, “albeit without his signature. At my suggestion of course. He then sent a second letter- this one signed- explaining to the EU why he believed a Brexit delay beyond October 31st would be a mistake. Of course some bozo in the Opposition parties will probably take the whole thing up with the cannabis filled haggis eating Justices on the Scottish High Court claiming that Johnson violated the Benn Act.”

“I can see that happening,” Amadeus agreed.

“Am I the only one,” Renfield struck a freedom fighter pose, “who is able to see the fact that if the British Parliament can pass a law forcing the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom to write a letter against his will, they could pass a law forcing any British subject to write a letter against their will?”.

“You’re the only one who can see that,” Amadeus noted.

“Well, thank God I’m in Parliament then,” Renfield made the Sign of the Cross causing his vampire fangs to pop out.

“What have you got planned for Sir Oliver Letwin?” Amadeus asked.

“A double whammy,” Renfield smiled, “or should I say a triple whammy? Mulligan the Irish zombie will be singing outside Sir Oliver’s residence tonight songs from a never performed musical inspired by the incomprehensible prose to be found in Karl Marx’s lengthy and long winded tome Das Kapital. He will be accompanied by Pan Goatee’s younger brother the infamous kilt wearing Scottish satyr bagpiper Pan Deux playing the bagpipes as well as a loud speaker played recording of the moans and groans made by U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi while using a vibrator she confiscated from Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.”

Sir Oliver Letwin would undoubtedly think twice about trying to cross Renfield R. Renfield.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday October 20th
2019.

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Miranda Singh Secret Agent Extraordinaire

October 18, 2019 at 10:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Miranda Singh Secret Agent Extraordinaire

Miranda Singh secret agent extraordinaire 

Miranda Singh was the personal secretary and executive assistant to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

She also did secret agent work on behalf of British MP Renfield R. Renfield the UK’s Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering.

Her next mission was to fly to Turkey to deliver a personal message to Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan from Renfield.

She reflected that the message she was going to deliver to Erdogan would be a lot more painful than Donald Trump’s butt kissing message to Erdogan in which the Donald gave permission to the Turkish President to help himself to vast swathes of northern Syria 20 miles deep inside the country across the Turkish-Syrian border.

She proceeded to polish and shine and sharpen her spiked stilettos on her high-heeled shoes with which she was going to deliver the message to Erdogan.

. . .

Donald Trump was walking down one of the White House hall corridors when he noticed a glass of orange juice that one of the Secret Service detail had left lying around.

Since Trump had, in a deal, recently given sovereign national territory that didn’t belong to him and wasn’t his to give (i.e. Huge swathes of Syrian territory) over to Turkey, the Donald had no moral qualms (since he didn’t have any morals either) about helping himself to a glass of orange juice that didn’t belong to him and drinking the contents.

“Wow,” Trump said to himself as he sat down at his Oval Office desk after drinking the entire large glass of orange juice, “that’s the best tasting glass of orange juice I’ve ever tasted in my life. I wonder where that secret service agent bought it?”.

At that moment a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears entered the Oval Office.

“Where the Hell did you come from?” Trump asked.

“You can see me?” The exceptionally tall bunny rabbit was astounded.

“I can,” Trump nodded.

“You must have drank a Harvey Wallbanger recently,” said Harvey Tallbanger.

“A Harvey what?” Trump was confused like he was whenever an item from the U.S. Constitution was read to him.

“I’m here to present you with the Neville Chamberlain Munich Peace Prize Award,” Tallbanger held up a box.

Trump had never heard of the Neville Chamberlain Munich Peace Prize but he was grateful to be receiving some sort of peace prize since he was overlooked by this year’s Nobel Peace Prize Committee.

Something he shared in common with Greta Thunberg.

“And what did I do to deserve this?” Trump asked beaming like the noonday sun.

“By handing over another country’s territory that didn’t belong to you to a land grabbing despot from a third country to take for himself,” Tallbanger answered.

“I’m always happy to oblige,” Trump beamed like the full moon in a Moonlight Madness Furniture Sale TV commercial.

“And here’s your award,” Tallbanger started taking it out of the box.

“Bring it on,” Trump said like he did when he awarded the G-7 summit to one of his own Florida golf resorts.

Within seconds, a cream pie landed full force in his face.

“I don’t think this cream goes well with my toupee,” Trump remarked as he looked at himself in the mirror.

“Nothing in heaven or on earth or under the earth goes well with your toupee,” Harvey answered.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was in his parliamentary office with his fellow Transhumanist Party caucus member and parliamentary colleague the Welsh vampiress Morgana.

Since both were deputy ministers in Boris Johnson’s cabinet, they were laying out last minute strategy to get the Johnson-Renfield Brexit deal passed in tomorrow’s rare sitting of the Westminster House of Commons on a Saturday.

Renfield had driven his own car over to Parliament today.

His vehicle was momentarily blocked by a group of Extinction Rebellion protestors on the street.

Renfield ended the Extinction Rebellion protestors’ protest by running them over.

“They’re definitely extinct now,” was Renfield’s comment to Morgana as he entered the office.

. . .

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 18th
2019.

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Miranda Singh’s Shopping Lands Amadeus Emanon In Trouble

October 4, 2019 at 10:32 pm (Comedy, Entertainment, Humour, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Miranda Singh’s Shopping Lands Amadeus Emanon In Trouble 

Miranda Singh shopping for Navaratri dresses

Miranda Singh was the Executive Secretary to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

After a day of hard work at Set Enterprises, she was looking forward to shopping for dresses to attend various Navaratri celebrations in London.

She was to meet a girlfriend who would record her shopping and live stream it to FaceBook to ask for a poll from her friends and family as to which dress she should buy.

Of course Miranda would probably buy the dress that was her own personal favourite but still she’d keep her friends and family happy by thinking they had some input on the matter.

However her friend who was a nurse had been asked to work an extra shift at the hospital due to a co-worker not being able to work that shift.

Who would be able to video record her and live stream it to FaceBook now?

There were other friends she could call but no doubt they had already made plans for this evening.

Amadeus Emanon the personal concert pianist to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set happened to walk by the office at that moment.

He had been down at the Set Enterprises lab giving piano lessons to Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster.

Of course it was quite the challenge for Michelangelo to be able to play the piano with his lobster claws but Amadeus was a good teacher.

The lobster had given a stirring rendition of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony much to the amazement of his creator the Set Enterprises scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

When Amadeus walked by, she asked him if he would mind recording her and live streaming to FaceBook.

Amadeus said sure.

Some 30 odd stores later:

“I think I like this one.”

“Wonderful,” said Amadeus who was getting smart phone holder’s wrist (a new medical phenomenon) by this time.

At that moment, Amadeus’ girlfriend Angelique Dumont happened to enter the store.

“What the Hell do you think you’re doing?” An angry Angelique approached Amadeus.

“I’m video recording the dresses Miranda is putting on and live streaming it to FaceBook,” Amadeus explained.

“Why is it you never come shopping for clothes with me?” Angelique demanded to know.

“Well,” Amadeus replied, “since I’m not Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner, I find shopping for women’s clothes boring.”

“Wait,” Angelique turned livid, “you think accompanying me when I shop for clothes is boring. But you’ll do it with Miranda. It isn’t boring with her I take it?”.

Amadeus was totally at a loss for words.

He was even more at a loss for words a moment later when Angelique hit him with her purse and he lay sprawled on the floor.

Renfield, who happened to be in the vicinity, laughed when he saw what happened.

“Amadeus certainly doesn’t know much about women,” he shook his head.

Renfield soon found himself confronted by his parliamentary colleague Morgana Fay Lee the MP for the Welsh Constituency of Newbridge.

“How dare you leave the restaurant last night sticking me with the cheque?” Morgana hit him over the head with her purse leaving the MP for Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds unconscious on the sidewalk.

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson walked by with an acquaintance.

He looked startled when he saw the unconscious Renfield on the sidewalk.

“Do you know that man?” Johnson’s acquaintance asked the Prime Minister.

“He was the one who came up with my government’s plan for Brexit and how to solve the Irish border question,” said Johnson.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 4th
2019.

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Miranda Singh and The Tallbanger Dossier

July 18, 2019 at 11:21 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Miranda Singh and The Tallbanger Dossier

Miranda Singh stood in Collingwood Hills Park not far from the estate of the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

The personal Executive Secretary to the billionaire Set was awaiting the arrival of a carrier pigeon from America.

The carrier pigeon would be carrying an envelope containing information written down by Set Enterprises’ chief spy and secret agent Harvey Tallbanger.

The information was deemed too hot to handle to send by electronic communications.

Tallbanger’s smart phone had started on fire when he had tried to send an encrypted text message on it.

The pigeon arrived and sat on a statue of Julius Caesar that was in the park.

Miranda went over and picked up the envelope the carrier pigeon was carrying in its beak.

Miranda opened the envelope and read the information that Tallbanger had gathered.

Tallbanger began his report by referencing an NBC News video that showed Donald Trump and accused sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein together at a party in 1992.

The video showed Trump and Epstein discussing women at the party.

Tallbanger noted that a brunette woman who appeared in the video in the background behind Trump and Epstein was none other than Ghislaine Maxwell the daughter of British publishing mogul Robert Maxwell.

Maxwell had died on Guy Fawkes Day (November 5th) in 1991 after having fallen overboard naked from his yacht into the Atlantic Ocean near the Canary Islands.

He is buried in the Mount of Olives Jewish Cemetery in Jerusalem.

Tallbanger noted that Maxwell was believed by many to have been a Mossad operative.

British journalist Gordon Thomas the author of the 1999 book Gideon’s Spies certainly believed that to be the case.

Tallbanger noted that there were some who believed that Jeffrey Epstein was also a Mossad operative.

As no one seemed to have any idea where Epstein got his billions from.

Epstein had got his first job back in 1974 as a Mathematics and Physics teacher at Dalton Academy an exclusive private school in the Upper East Side of Manhattan where until the spring of that year Donald Barr (the father of current U.S. Attorney-General William Barr) had been the headmaster.

Later Epstein went to work for Bear Stearns as an options trader back in 1976.

In August 1981, Epstein started the first of his own companies Intercontinental Assets Group Inc. (IAG). 

No one was quite sure what it was that Epstein did although he described his work at the time as that of a “high-level bounty hunter”.

Epstein founded what he called his own financial management firm J. Epstein & Co. in 1987.

Tallbanger went on in the report to note that Epstein apparently had a Saudi Arabian passport that was discovered when police went to his New York home in this year of Epstein’s current arrest for sex trafficking.

The passport listed a residence in Saudi Arabia.

Tallbanger had discovered that the residence had once belonged to Adnan Khashoggi a billionaire Saudi Arabian businessman and arms dealer who died at the Harley Street Clinic Diagnostic Centre in London back on June 6th 2017.

Miranda Singh thought to herself as she read the Tallbanger dossier, “Why does that name Khashoggi sound so familiar?”.

As if reading her thoughts, Tallbanger had written in the next paragraph, “Adnan Khashoggi is the uncle of Jamal Khashoggi the Saudi journalist who was best known for having been sawed to pieces by Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman’s personal maintenance and janitorial cleaning services at the Saudi consulate in Istanbul Turkey on October 2nd of last year.”

Wow, Miranda thought to herself.

“Interestingly enough,” Tallbanger had then wrote, “Donald Trump had purchased a $100 million yacht from Adnan Khashoggi for $29 million back in 1988.”

Curiouser and curiouser, Miranda thought to herself.

“Then 2 years later in 1990,” Tallbanger had written, “Trump turned around and sold that yacht to Saudi Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal for $20 million incurring a $9 million loss.”

Very curious indeed, Miranda thought.

Then she wondered, why did the name of Saudi Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal sound so familiar?

Again, as if reading her thoughts, Tallbanger had written, “Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal was the one who was held upside down hanging from his toes in a room in the Ritz-Carleton Hotel in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia from November 2017 until January 2018 until he agreed to give all his wealth to Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman.”

Ah, that’s the one, Miranda nodded.

Tallbanger went on in his report to wonder whether Robert Maxwell’s daughter Ghislaine wasn’t also a Mossad operative and quite possibly Epstein’s Mossad handler.

The Welsh pooka secret agent noted that Ghislaine was a licensed jet pilot, a licensed helicopter pilot and a licensed submarine submersible pilot- something very handy to have as a secret agent.

Tallbanger then noted that Donald Trump had flown Epstein, Ghislaine and a woman (who could have been anywhere from 15 to 20 years old) from New York to Florida back on April 15th 2000 on his own personal jet.

The reporter who had written the flight item in passing had thought that it was Mr. and Mrs. Epstein and their daughter who had taken the flight.

But Tallbanger pointed out, Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell were not married and they did not have a daughter.

And Tallbanger noted, if the girl on Trump’s plane was underage (like many aboard Epstein’s own Lolita Express flights), then Trump himself could be charged with interstate trafficking of a minor (having flown her from New York to Florida).

Was this, Miranda wondered, the smoking gun that could bring down Donald Trump?

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 18th
2019.

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Miranda Singh On A Saturday Afternoon In Early July

July 6, 2019 at 10:41 pm (Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Miranda Singh On A Saturday Afternoon In Early July

Miranda Singh sat in Collingwood Hills Park a park not far from the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London estate.

Set Enterprises’ resident mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher was conducting scientific experiments in the park to see if he could bring about early autumn colours on the trees in early summer.

He seemed to be succeeding judging from some of the colours on the leaves of the trees behind where Miss Singh sat.

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was in a small wading pool in the park typing on his waterproof iPad with his lobster claws and mixing tracks from different seasons from Antonio Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons on his GarageBand app.

And a couple of baroque music enthusiasts sitting on a nearby park bench said he was succeeding.

Michelangelo looked in Miss Singh’s direction.

Small children left the wading pool in droves when the GarageBand app on the lobster’s iPad exploded.

The iPad was playing Beethoven’s Song of Joy as Amadeus Emanon rescued the crustacean and his tablet.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was not at the Set Enterprises family picnic on this day as he was currently attending the christening ceremony for Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor at Windsor Castle.

Meanwhile Harvey Tallbanger the 6 foot 8 invisible Welsh Pooka bunny rabbit walked around the picnic carrying his favourite drink a Tequila Sunrise.

He sat across from Miranda Singh and the pair discussed their respective secret agent and spying missions they had conducted for Set Enterprises last month.

Meanwhile under a nearby tree, Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun (who was neither a current employee nor a former employee of Set Enterprises) awoke with a huge hangover from last night’s carousing and revelry that he had engaged in in the nearby West London theatre district.

Feeling hungry, he helped himself to a picnic basket full of ham and cheese sandwiches.

“Hey, what happened to all the ham and cheese sandwiches?” Amadeus cried out a few minutes later.

Meanwhile Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster lay down at Miranda Singh’s feet.

The European Union anthem was being played with great enthusiasm on Michelangleo’s iPad GarageBand app to the great disappointment of BREXIT Party leader Nigel Farage who was walking nearby.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday July 6th
2019.

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Miranda Singh At The Jerusalem Summit

June 25, 2019 at 9:38 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Miranda Singh At The Jerusalem Summit 

(A Poem Written In Semi-Chaucerian Fashion With Apologies To Geoffrey Chaucer)

Miss Singh walked down the street wearing the bracelets of Kali
She was heading towards a Jerusalem deli 
Now visible again was she
After attending summit of nations 3

Israel, Russia and the U.S.A.
The B.S. was flying at end of day 
John Bolton said all agreed Iran must leave Syria
A statement that to Russian ears was pure diarrhea 

Nikolai Patrushev said it was wrong to brand Iran as destabilizing force in the region 
Even though Trump and Netanyahu say Iranian sins are legion 
In response to new U.S. sanctions enacted by Trump 
unlike chocolates given by mom of Forrest Gump
Hassan Rouhani on Twitter did say
at the dawn of Iranian day,
The Trump White House is “mentally retarded”
Replied Trump, “On insulting people with tweets, don’t get me started”

And so therein lies a tale 
of skull and bones but not at Yale
The kings of West and East
play games of war and peace 

To every word that is uttered by rooftop or behind closed doors
It’s more stupidity than conscious design that leads to wars
An Alexander, Hitler, Napoleon or Caesar may plan conquest 
But the likes of Kaiser Wilhelm are also not among the blessed 
Because bullying and intransigence will put the world to the test.

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 25th
2019.

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Miranda Singh At The King David Hotel In Jerusalem

June 24, 2019 at 10:44 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Miranda Singh At The King David Hotel In Jerusalem

Miranda Singh in the lobby of the King David Hotel in Jerusalem

Miranda Singh the Executive Secretary to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was sitting in the lobby of the King David Hotel in Jerusalem.

Earlier in the day, she had worn Kali’s bracelets of invisibility and had spied on the closed door meeting between U.S. National Security advisor John Bolton and Russian National Security advisor Nikolay Patrushev where the pair had discussed Ukraine, arms control and Venezuela.

Tomorrow there would be a trilateral meeting with Israeli National Security advisor Meir Ben-Shabbat that Miranda Singh would also be attending uninvited.

. . .

In London, the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was reading text messages from Miranda Singh.

His personal butler and valet Athelstan was acting as his secretary while Miss Singh was away.

“Athelstan, cancel my invitation to the 6th Annual Nicolas Maduro Invitational Golf Tournament in Caracas next month,” Set directed.

“Very good, sir,” Athelstan made a note of that.

“Athelstan, cancel my invitation to the 1st Annual Volodymyr Zelensky Invitational Golf Tournament in Kiev next month,” Set said after reading another text message.

“Very good, sir,” Athelstan also made a note of that.

“Athelstan, cancel my invitation to the 3rd Annual Donald Trump Display of U.S. Military Power Invitational Golf Tournament at the Mar-a-Lago Club in Florida for next month,” Set announced after reading a third text message.

“Very good, sir,” Athelstan likewise made a note of that.

Set then made a call to his stock broker to invest in a company that would soon be exporting ice to Tuktoyaktuk which is Canada’s northernmost community on the Arctic Ocean.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday June 24th
2019.

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Miranda Singh Encounters The Greek God Ares

June 10, 2019 at 9:32 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Miranda Singh Encounters The Greek God Ares


Miranda Singh is stopped on the steps of a Jerusalem shopping mall by the Greek god Ares

As Miranda Singh the Executive Secretary to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set walked up the steps of a Jerusalem shopping mall, she was suddenly approached from behind by Ares the Greek god of war.

“Stop,” Ares had said to her, “Is it true that you have the invisibility bracelets of the goddess Kali in your possession?”.

As Ares moved in closer, Miranda kicked him down the stairs with one of her spiked stilettos where the Greek war deity hit his head on the sidewalk when he reached the bottom of the stairs.

He was immediately sent to cuckoo-land.

The Olympian dreamed that he was in a clockmaker’s shop in Switzerland where the clock maker was making a clock where Donald Trump came out by the hour and said, “Cuck-hoo! Cuck-hoo!”.

Miranda Singh had been given the heads up by her employer Set that she might be approached by a Greek deity.

Apparently Set Enterprises’ Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had received a vision that the deities of Mount Olympus were very interested in the upcoming Middle East security summit that would be held in Israel between the Israeli, U.S. and Russian national security advisors.

Miranda Singh would be covertly attending the summit by wearing the invisibility bracelets of the goddess Kali.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday June 10th 
2019.

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