Miranda Singh Raids The Gates of Hell Zoo

April 1, 2021 at 10:50 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing another one of his podcasts.

“Well,” Renfield began, “The Easter weekend is coming up and so naturally the world’s governments and health “experts” are suddenly discovering a surplus of cases of the various variants of Covid-19 that health “experts” suddenly discovered when the original Covid-19 virus suddenly seemed to be winding down. Ending the lockdown of most inhabitants of the planet and allowing the world a return to pre-March 2020 normality was definitely not in the cards as far as the Great Reset global oligarchy was concerned. Multitudes of people brainwashed by the mainstream media (who are not true journalists but are nothing more than the paid prostitutes and whores of the world’s global oligarchs) think that this all has to do with “health” or if they believe the current Vatican administration’s blathering “climate change”. This has nothing to do with “health” or “climate change”. It has to do with setting up a totalitarian one-world government under the control of the world’s global oligarchs.
As can be seen by the fact that 24 world leaders including Britan’s own brainless Boris Johnson just penned a declaration calling for a Global Pandemic Treaty. This treaty, if formally signed and implemented, will be the first step towards a one-world government. Now, John Lennon’s song Imagine has a nice melody and tune to it but don’t let that nice melody and tune suck you into the “Imagine no countries” scenario that the Great Reset global oligarchy has got planned for you, your family and your loved ones.
The line “Imagine there’s no heaven” will definitely have truth to it because there is nothing heavenly about the global oligarchs’ Great Reset plans.
“No Hell below us” will definitely be true as well because the Great Reset global oligarchs will have brought Hell up to the Earth’s surface for all to enjoy.
The first taste of Hell they’ve already unleashed on the world through Xi Jinping’s and the CCP’s Wuhan Institute of Virology.
Lo and behold! the CCP’s puppets on the executive of WHO (World Health Organization) couldn’t discover what was behind the origin of the Covid-19 virus in their recent joke of an investigation.
Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus the Tigray People’s Liberation Front Ethiopian Communist head of WHO should be shot by firing squad in my humble opinion (I don’t hold the same limp wristed pansy position on capital punishment as that held by Pope Francis) along with that obnoxious idiot Dr. Anthony Fauci who can’t even remember the numbered names of the numerous variants of Covid-19 virus that are supposedly out there when questioned by Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul.
Interestingly enough the proposed fine print of the Global Pandemic Treaty is proposed to be unveiled at this coming G-7 Summit to be held in June in Cornwall, England.
And Cornwall is the place where tradition holds that King Arthur was conceived – at Tintagel Castle in Cornwall.
King Arthur who spent his life battling demon possessed warriors and invading forces.
History seems to have come full circle.

. . .

The demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod were walking through Saint Peter’s Basilica.

“Nice that we’re able to walk through Saint Peter’s Basilica on Maundy Thursday or Holy Thursday,” Nimrod commented as he licked an ice cream cone with his long tongue, “How are we able to do that?”.

“Well, the fact that Hecate’s skull was buried here around the time the document Amoris Laetitia was released and Hecate’s black cat familiar Amorous Laetitia did a dance around the High Altar at the time in honour of the Greek goddess of witchcraft helped,” Asmodeus sipped his cappucino, “along with the fact that an idol of the Inca Earth Mother Goddess Pachamama was brought into the Basilica at the Amazon Synod back in October 2019 and Pope Francis has recently forbidden priests to say private Masses in the chapels here (and many of those priests were saying private Masses according to the Tridentine Latin Mass liturgy which His Most Luciferian and Satanic Majesty hates) so all that allows us to walk through here with impunity.”

. . .

Set Enterprises secret agent Miranda Singh had discovered information about an experimental animal farm in northern England.

The name of the animal farm was the Gates of Hell Zoo.

The zoo was said to be financed by an American couple with the last name of Gates.

A vaccine was to be given to the animals there to turn them all into zombie nosferatu.

Miranda Singh arrived there with an army of gnomes and knocked out the guards with Cadbury Rocher Tesla Knockout Laser Rays.

The animals were then freed.

Miranda Singh after all the animals were freed from the Gates of Hell Covid-1984 Experimental Animal Farm in northern England

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 1st
2021

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Miranda Singh Vs. The Zombie Nosferatu

March 24, 2021 at 10:39 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield and his friend Amadeus Emanon were down at the Set Enterprises Laboatories in London.

They were talking with Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague while Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was in his aquarium playing Frederic Chopin’s Prelude In E-Minor on his underwater piano.

“So that was one of the underreported big news stories last week,” Dr. Marmalade Montague remarked, “North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un’s younger sister Kim Yo-jong is threatening to kick Joe Biden’s senile old ass.”

“I wonder if she’ll be doing that while Biden is debating Russian President Vladimir Putin on livestream,” Renfield commented, “that is if Biden accepts Putin’s challenge of a debate which I doubt he will.”

“What’s Kim Yo-jong doing issuing ultimatums on behalf of North Korea?” Amadeus Emanon asked, “Is she acting as de facto leader of North Korea?”.

“Undoubtedly,” Renfield nodded.

“What’s Kim Jong-un doing?” Amadeus wanted to know.

“Undoubtedly taking one of his lengthy refrigerator breaks,” Renfield answered, “Either that or going on a diet after one of his lengthy refrigerator breaks.”

Suddenly Michelangelo started tapping a unique sound on his piano keys.

“What is that?” Renfield listened attentively to the sound.

“It’s Morse code,” Dr. Marmalade Montague answered.

“Morse code?” Renfield looked puzzled, “I thought that went out of use when the last telegraph line was eaten by the last dinosaur.”

Extremely Curious George the recently created stegosaurus shot Renfield an extremely curious look when he walked by the room.

He continued down the hallway.

Presumably in search of the last telegraph line.

“Michelangelo saw a vision a moment ago,” Dr. Marmalade Montague started jotting down dots and dashes on his notepad with his pencil, “so not having the power of vocal speech, he’s communicating what he saw. Apparently Set Enterprises’ secret intelligence agent Miranda Singh is in mortal danger. Zombie nosferatu at the American CIA are plotting to kill her. Even now zombie nosferatu are descending upon a castle in Spain as we speak.”

“What’s Miranda doing at a castle in Spain?” Renfield asked.

“She’s currently on a modeling fashion photo shoot for Shinihas Ageless Collection,” Dr. Montague replied.

Miranda Singh’s cover was working as a fashion model at various locales in the world.

“We better warn her,” said Amadeus.

“Already on it,” Dr. Montague parted curtains next to his office water cooler.

Behind the curtains was an unusual contraption.

“That looks like a 1940s era ham radio,” Renfield remarked.

“That’s because it is,” Montague started sending out a transmission on it, “Miranda has a radio receiver in her left earring.”

Meanwhile in Joe Biden’s Oval Office, a high-ranking Neo-Bolshevik Communist official in the American CIA put down a document on Biden’s desk for him to sign.

“What is this?” Biden asked.

“A document authorizing the assassination of an enemy agent,” the CIA official answered.

“But I didn’t think my signature was required for these?” Biden looked baffled- in other words his usual self.

“Yes, but just on the off chance anything goes wrong in this case, we want the buck to stop here,” the CIA official put down an American dollar bill on Biden’s desk.

“Whose picture is this?” Biden asked.

“George Washington,” the CIA official replied.

“He looks white,” Biden looked carefully at the bill.

“He was white,” the CIA official pointed out.

“But isn’t depicting white guys a sign of racism and white privilege?” Biden scratched his head.

“It is,” the CIA official agreed, “Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is currently trying to track down a rare black and white photo of Karl Marx doing a rare minstrel show performance in London to use as the face on the new American dollar bill which will be printed in time for the next trillion dollar Covid bailout which will bankrupt this country for generations to come.”

“I see,” Biden nodded and signed the paper.

At that moment in Spain a zombie nosferatu American CIA agent (treated with a special formula invented by DARPA using a combination of goats’ milk and old photographic dark room chemical fluid that allowed zombie nosferatu to venture forth in the daylight) approached Miranda Singh.

Miranda Singh turned and faced him directly.

She unhooked her right earring (that contained a silver arrowpoint designed to kill vampires and werewolves) and threw it at him.

The zombie nosferatu fell over dead.

A multiple charging laser beam (activated by the radio receiver in her left ear) then shot out and went forth and killed all the zombie nosferatu in the immediate vicinity.

It was a photo shoot that the Shinihas Ageless Collection camera crew would never forget.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 24th
2021.

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Michelangelo’s Morning Routine

March 18, 2021 at 10:36 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

“I had a really bad dozen years.”
-Adolf Hitler reflecting on his time as leader of Germany from 1933-1945 which oversaw the Holocaust, the invasion and takeover of several countries and World War II resulting in millions upon millions of deaths.

“All right, Herr Hitler, we’ll let you return to your rotating barbeque spit down in the flames of Tartarus,” Renfield finished his radio interview, “I imagine you must use the same speechwriter as members of the Atlanta Georgia Police Department.”

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster woke up from his dream as his waterproof alarm clock (with the face of Groucho Marx on it) went off.

Coincidentally Renfield was doing a newscast on BBC World Service Radio as the lobster stretched his claws and got out of bed.

“Meanwhile in other news,” Renfield’s voice could be heard saying, “a giant cloud of dust emerged from the Vatican today as Pope Francis opened his Bible…”

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster crawled out of his aquarium, grabbed a towel from a nearby drawer and crawled down the hall to the Set Enterprises Employees Shower Room where he took a shower.

Extremely Curious George the recently cloned and genetically created stegosaurus of Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher gazed at the lobster with a look of extreme bafflement on his face as he watched for the very first time this morning routine of the world famous Psychic Lobster.

Of course others at Set Enterprises (who had been around a lot longer than the recently cloned and genetically created stegosaurus) still looked at Michelangelo’s morning routine with extreme bafflement on their faces whenever they saw it.

The only ones who didn’t take a second look were Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague as well as the ghost of Winston Churchill whenever he happened to be visiting Set Enterprises Laboratories.

And speaking of Dr. Marmalade Montague, he had the body of Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun on a gurney with his mouth stretched wipe open about to receive the contents of 1001 bottles of Hendrick’s Gin being poured down his throat through a contraption recently invented by Dr. Montague.

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster (dressed in a surgeon’s gown) had, last night, in his third post-mortem performed on the leprechaun since the start of this year, determined the cause of death to be Guinness laced with an extremely high content of a particularly toxic variety of cobra venom.

The other two times Yaldabaoth had died since the start of 2021- the 1st cause of death had been eating lutefisk and the 2nd cause of death had been drinking a bottle of champagne laced with Fire Salamander venom.

Coincidentally on all three occasions Yaldabaoth had keeled over and died on the spot after seeing a beautiful woman wearing a killer outfit.

Now Dr. Marmalade Montague was once again using 1001 bottles of Hendrick’s Gin to bring Yaldabaoth back from the dead.

“I think Hendrick’s Gin should start advertising this medicinal benefit of their product for leprechauns in their TV commercials,” Amadeus Emanon remarked to Set Enterprises Intelligence Secret Agent Miranda Singh.

“Maybe someone should let them know,” Miranda suggested.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 18th
2021.

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Extremely Curious George

March 15, 2021 at 10:47 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

“Well, I’m sure Renfield will be happy to see you back in London, Amadeus,” Set Enterprises’ secret agent Miranda Singh remarked to Amadeus Emanon who was the best friend of British MP Renfield R. Renfield and had been living for over a year in Australia, “but I thought the Australian government wasn’t allowing you to leave Australia because they found something strange with your DNA and were wanting Australia’s intelligence agencies to investigate further.”

“That’s true but the Boss,” Amadeus was referring to his official employer the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set, “sent one of his eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis-powered dirigible airships The Peregrine Falcon to rescue me after my Australian host Uncle Ernie had his backyard unauthorized and illegal pharmaceutical manufacturing facility raided and poor Uncle Ernie once again finds himself in jail.”

“Why was Uncle Ernie raided?” Miranda inquired.

“Xi Jinping discovered that Uncle Ernie was the major competitor and rival to the CCP illegal drug monopoly in Australia and Xi couldn’t stand having any major competitors in the Australian market,” Amadeus explained, “Many Austalian politicians depend on CCP illegal drug money to help finance their political campaigns and so when the word got out that Xi’s axe was about to fall on Uncle Ernie’s head, many Australian politicos put on their executioners’ masks.”

“Like Victoria State Dictator Daniel Andrews whose nickname is Chairman Dan?” Miranda asked.

“Yes, Andrews recently slipped on some wet stairs at his holiday home on the Mornington Peninsula a week ago,” Amadeus nodded, “surprisingly the day after Uncle Ernie gave a surprise evening performance of his drag queen show Cumelita to kangaroos and koala bears who were watching the performance through the Andrews holiday home window. It was strange the Australian police said they found traces of Uncle Ernie’s DNA on those wet stairs which leads one to speculate on what it was that Uncle Ernie was doing.”

“I’m sure a YouTube video will appear eventually showing what it was that Uncle Ernie was doing,” Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague remarked as he entered the room.

“Unless of course Uncle Ernie sang a song whose lyrics dispute the official Covid-19 narrative currently being espoused by the World Health Organization,” Miranda quipped, “in which case that video will be immediately banned by YouTube, Twitter and Facebook.”

“Was that a stegosaurus I just saw walking by?” Amadeus gasped as he pointed out the office window.

“Yes, Dr. Cadbury Rocher successfully cloned a stegosaurus using stegosaurus DNA found on the blood sucked by the perfectly preserved remains of a 155 million year old mosquito,” Montague smiled.

“What’s its name?” Amadeus asked.

“Extremely Curious George,” Montague answered.

“Extremely Curious George?” Amadeus repeated the name in the form of a question.

“Yes, like Curious George the monkey in the famous children’s stories and later film,” Montague nodded, “only a lot more curious.”

A strange cry is heard.

“Um,” Montague turned pale, “I think Extremely Curious George may have just examined the mouse trap I set to catch the mouse who’s been stealing my grilled cheese sandwiches.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 15th
2021.

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Pachamama, Sultan Erdogan and The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog

October 4, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama walked through the Vatican Gardens accompanied by the flaming disembodied head of the French Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.

It was a year ago today that Pope Francis had wooden statues of Pachamama brought into the Vatican Gardens and a whole bunch of people had bowed down to them.

Teilhard’s flaming head set fire to some of the plants and trees in the garden and Swiss Guards had to bring forth buckets of water to put it out.

A Vatican spokesman later blamed the Vatican Gardens fire on Climate Change.

. . .

In the Armenia-Azerbaijan War over Nagorno-Karabakh, things were taking a definite change for the worst.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was warning people that the conflict had the potential to erupt into World War III but New Age prophetess Oprah Winfrey and demonically possessed self-help guru Anthony Robbins (a Calgary based geopolitical analyst once had the misfortune to quite literally run into the self-help guru as he was rushing down the stairwell of Edmonton’s Westin Hotel where the self-help guru was putting on a seminar and judging from Robbins’ vitriolic reaction that’s how he came to know the self-help guru was demonically possessed) said that Renfield should not be giving out such negative vibes.

A genetically created talking ostrich (genetically created by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher) who had his head buried in the sand agreed with Oprah’s and Robbins’ assessment of the situation.

The Greek god of war Ares (anxious for a major war) had directed Azeri forces to launch a missile attack on the Armenian Nagorno-Karabakh regional capital of Stepanakert.

In response Armenian Nagorno-Karabakh military forces aided and abetted by Thor the Norse god of thunder (who was also anxious for a major war) proceeded to shell the city of Ganja which was Azerbaijan’s second largest city.

Large numbers of civilians were killed on both sides.

Meanwhile in Turkey, Morrigan the Irish Celtic goddess of war (who was the third member of the trio of ancient pagan deities trying to start a Third World War the past couple of years) was busy encouraging Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan to finish off the Armenian Genocide that the Ottoman Empire neglected to finish off 100 years ago.

It didn’t take much to persuade Erdogan who already had that in mind.

. . .

Meanwhile in the small Suffolk coastal village of Dunwich England, Sherrielock Holmes and Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit Secret Agent Miranda Singh managed to locate the taxidermically stuffed body of the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog whose less than 15 minutes of fame occurred when he appeared in the 1975 fantasy/comedy film Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

The stuffed rabbit’s body was found next to an Andy Warhol autographed Campbell’s Soup Can in The Buddha and Edison Anchor Watt Pub in Dunwich where retired fishermen and retired sea captains often hang out.


Pachamama the Inca earth mother goddess posted a photo of herself on Twitter to let people know that she looked nothing at all like the wooden statues of herself that Pope Francis commissioned an avante-garde Jesuit artist to make to use in last year’s Amazon Synod opening worship ceremonies in the Vatican Gardens

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday October 4th
2020.

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Dark Shadows and Fatal Visions Sensible To Feelings and To Sight

May 5, 2020 at 10:30 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Dark Shadows and Fatal Visions Sensible To Feelings and To Sight

Corey Johnson the Speaker of the New York City Council was having a wet dream where he was being sodomized by the demon Baphomet.

Waking up with a frenzic smile on his face, he tweeted a denouncement of Rev. Franklin Graham’s Samaritan’s Purse organization saying they should take down their Covid-19 Emergency Field Tent Hospital and get to Hell out of New York State.

Hours later, Johnson had a dream where his eyes were being pecked out by ravens.

Serving demons and participating in abominations always can have its drawbacks.

Johnson was discovering this the hard way as he woke up screaming.

. . .

French President Emmanuel Macron was having a dream where he was staring at Vincent Van Gogh’s painting of a farm field overrun by crows.

Suddenly the crows flew out of the painting and started attacking Macron.

The French President woke up in the arms of a cougar.

. . .

Dr. Cadbury Rocher was in his office at Set Enterprises examining some of the recent data on pandemic dreams- strange dreams that many people were having in this time of the Covid-19 pandemic.

Miranda Singh knocked on his door.

“Dr. Rocher,” Miranda Singh stood some six feet away to keep in line with UK social distancing rules which were constantly changing and being updated every 5 minutes, “there’s some man outside the laboratory premises dressed in Louis XIV era clothing who says his name is Dr. Marmalade Montague and that he’s the Court Scientist to the Court of Louis Quatorze. He’s standing in front of one of those hot air balloons. Claims he flew across the Channel from France to England in it to avoid being murdered by the Grand Orient Lodge of Paris. He’s seeking employment here at Set Enterprises wishing to work in the company’s Covid-19 Vaccine Development Program.”

“All right,” Dr. Rocher put on his PPE Darth Vader mask and suit, “I’ll see him. What is it about pandemics that seems to bring all the nuts out?”.

. . .

The Egyptian jackal headed god Anubis (son of Set and Nephthys) was being held a prisoner in the catacombs of Paris.

He was being continuously stung by Asian green hornets (who had also recently arrived on North America’s West Coast and who were now decapitating and devouring honeybees and feeding them to their young).

If Anubis hadn’t been immortal, he’d have been dead already.

His captor was a giant 50 foot long snake who had the head of a hawk.

The hawk headed giant snake fed on dogs and cats as it watched Anubis’ torture.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher 
Tuesday May 5th
2020

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Ethiopian Communist Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus: Beijing Regime’s “Useful Idiot” As Head of WHO

April 4, 2020 at 11:21 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Ethiopian Communist Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus: Beijing Regime’s “Useful Idiot” As Head of WHO

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was reading a dossier put together by the Set Enterprises Intelligence Gathering Unit (consisting of various secret agents including Set’s Executive Assistant Miranda Singh and the 6 foot 8 tall Welsh pooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger in between his periodic episodes of throwing cream pies in the faces of various jack asses and airheads) on WHO’s head Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus.

Renfield read, “As Director-General of the World Health Organization, Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus is the highest ranking medical official in the world but he isn’t even a real medical doctor.
In fact, he’s the first person to lead the WHO without a medical degree.
Tedros is simply a Communist academic (he has a Ph.D not an MD) who has never cured a single patient in his entire life.
Tedros is actually a politician (a member of two Marxist parties in Ethiopia – the Tigrayan People’s Liberation Front and the Ethiopian People’s Revolutionary Democratic Front – who served as Ethiopia’s Minister of Health from 2005 to 2012 and Ethiopia’s Minister of Foreign Affairs from 2012 to 2016) who hired a public relations firm from the United States to help get him the lucrative top job at the WHO.
Mercury Public Affairs put together a snazzy presentation for him to present to the world body but when it came time for him to answer questions, he couldn’t answer any.
It was only through the intense backing and lobbying of the People’s Republic of China that Dr. Tedros was able to land himself the top job at WHO.
Dr. Tedros, being a Communist revolutionary who served in a government that killed its own people in the streets and who as Ethiopia’s Minister of Health covered up several cholera epidemics in his own country, was the sort of person who was right up the Chinese Communist state’s alley.
The Ethiopian capital’s newspaper the Addis Ababa Standard even published an editorial calling for the WHO not to appoint Dr. Tedros its Director-General.
But the WHO listened to Xi Jinping and not the Addis Ababa Standard.

Miranda had included in the dossier the following notation from Wikipedia, “As Minister of Health, Tedros was able to form close relationships with prominent figures including former American President Bill Clinton and the Clinton Foundation and Bill and Melinda Gates and the Gates Foundation.”

“Well,” Renfield noted, “That says right there what sort of person Tedros is. Hobnobbing with such globalist elitist scumbags as Bill Clinton and Bill and Melinda Gates.”

The dossier went on to note that Dr. Tedros took office as head of the WHO beginning on July 1st 2017 for a 5-year term of office.
Dr. Tedros’ first major decision upon taking office was to name Zimbabwe’s Marxist totalitarian dictator Robert Mugabe as WHO Goodwill Ambassador to the African Union on October 18th 2017.

“Well,” Renfield sipped a can of non-Corona beer, “that says right then and there what manner of sound mind and judgment this Dr. Tedros character is.”

Back on January 14th of this year, Dr. Tedros (under pressure from the Xi Jinping regime) had tweeted on WHO’s Twitter account that “there is no clear evidence of human-to-human transmission of the novel Coronavirus”.
Later he was forced to backtrack on January 23rd when too much evidence was emerging to the contrary.
And under continuing pressure from Communist China, Dr. Tedros refused to call the Coronavirus a pandemic until March 11th when by then 114 countries had already reported over 118,000 cases.

Harvey Tallbanger (who was currently working on one super doozy of a cream pie for Dr. Tedros) said how the world might have started better preparing and arranging for such things as PPEs if Dr. Tedros had declared a pandemic much sooner.

Noted Tallbanger, “Dr. Tedros has blood on his hands back from when his nation’s Communist government slaughtered people in the streets and now when the world’s most vulnerable cower in their homes due to the Coronavirus pandemic and suffocate to death at the hands of an inept bootlicker of the Chinese Communists.”

Renfield thought to himself, “Dr. Tedros should be taken in front of the International Criminal Court and tried and if found guilty he should be taken out and shot by firing squad.
Capital punishment is the way to go for offences such as this. For in these times, it doesn’t do the world a Hell of a lot of good to be a pablum puking liberal.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 4th
2020.

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Miranda Singh and The Wonderous Pair of Goldfish

March 30, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Fantasy, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, love, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Miranda Singh and The Wonderous Pair of Goldfish

“And in other news, Pope Francis has tested negative for the Coronavirus but remains positive for Communism… ” 

Renfield switched over from Britain’s Sky News to BBC News where a friend of his was delivering the news:

“And the 600 year old Miraculous Crucifix of Christ that Pope Francis brought out to deliver his Urbi et Orbi message last Friday has suffered intense water damage as a result of the rainfall that occurred while the Pope gave his speech castigating the world for not following his globalist Neo-Marxist Neo-Bolshevik agenda and as a result the God of Surprises (the god worshipped by Francis) had sent this pandemic upon the world. Pope Francis gave this speech to the empty Saint Peter’s Square while standing comfortably under a large canopy in the pouring rain with his back turned against the Miraculous Crucifix of Christ that became drenched in the pouring rain being a great distance behind the canopy and the ancient unique statue has suffered intense water damage as a result…”

Renfield switched over to ITV News:

“Former British Prime Minister Gordon Brown has called for a One World Government in the wake of the Coronavirus crisis.
Minutes after he made the statement, a cream pie was thrown in his face by an invisible force.
Although a London bobby who had been drinking Harvey Wallbangers on the job says he saw a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears do it.”

. . .

The storm clouds descend
A beast has crawled from Egypt’s sphinx 
towards Bethlehem to be born
A virus fancying itself as wise
has arisen from the East 
and spread its tentacles all over the world 
Offering gifts of pain, suffering and death
Instead of gold, frankincense and myrrh 
in adoration of the new Messiah.

. . .

In the streams of a large conservatory greenhouse in London, Set Enterprises secret agent Miranda Singh saw two multicoloured goldfish that she had never seen in the stream before swim to escape a shark she had never seen in that stream before.

The goldfish leapt above a huge rock towards another stream.

The shark likewise leapt and landed on the rock hitting its head knocking itself out.

The shark then metamorphosed into the form of the Greek god Ares.

Ares still lay there unconscious.

The two goldfish then shapeshifted into human form.

One of them Miranda recognized as being Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

And the other she recognized as being Mahina the Hawaiian and Polynesian Goddess of the Moon.

They left the conservatory.

Miranda looked down at the stream and thought, “Oh brave new world that has such people in it.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 30th
2020.

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Benjamin Netanyahu, Spitsbergen and The Tewkesbury Debate

November 21, 2019 at 11:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Benjamin Netanyahu, Spitsbergen and The Tewkesbury Debate 

The debate being hosted tonight among candidates for MP for the constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds in the upcoming December 12th UK General Election was on the subject of Foreign Policy.

Renfield R. Renfield the current British Transhumanist Party MP for the Constituency as well as the current UK Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering was asked a question by the reporter for the local Lux Cream and Bagel Chronicle on the matter of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu today being formally charged by Israel’s Attorney-General with fraud, breach of trust and bribery.

Said the corned beef on rye eating reporter for the Lux Cream and Bagel Chronicle, “Mr. Netanyahu has described the charges as a “political witch hunt” and has said that the “authorities weren’t after the truth, they were after me” and has called on the country to “investigate the investigators”. Mr. Renfield, what is your take on that?”.

“Well,” Renfield finished off his 2nd 40 oz. bottle of Scotch whisky for the debate, “If I was Donald Trump’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani, I’d be advising the Donald to sue Netanyahu for plagiarism and expropriation of one’s favourite turn of phrase x 3.”

The next question came from the reporter for the local Undrained Swamp Times and was addressed to British Conservative candidate (and former Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds MP) Agathor Christie, “Mr. Christie, at today’s impeachment hearing in Washington DC, there seemed to be a conflict between Republican and Democrat as to which country most likely interfered in the 2016 U.S. Presidential election- Russia or Ukraine. Mr. Christie, who do you think it was that interfered in the U.S. election in 2016?”.

“Well,” Christie was eating a bag full of Christie’s Chocolate Chip Cookies, “I personally believe that it was the Norwegian island of Spitsbergen that was responsible for foreign interference in the 2016 U.S. Presidential election. The hacking was done at computers at a popular jazz cafe on the island of Spitsbergen. This jazz cafe in Spitsbergen was first mentioned in a documentary that Orson Welles made back in 1973. The very same jazz cafe that was noted artist Pablo Picasso’s favourite destination during the winter months of the year…”

Christie was unable to finish his answer because he then passed out on to the floor.

“Well,” Renfield thought to himself, “we now know who was responsible for stealing and smoking that 20 gram bag of Canadian cannabis from Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster’s aquarium.”

There suddenly seemed to be a commotion in the meeting hall.

Renfield wondered whether an assassination attempt was about to happen.

Prior to the debate, Sherrielock Holmes the Chief of Security for Set Enterprises had informed Renfield that 3 different assassination teams would be after him tonight.

Russian President Vladimir Putin had sent an FSB assassination squad to bump Renfield off.

Donald Trump had sent a combined Israeli Mossad and Saudi Arabian hit squad (namely because he couldn’t trust U.S. deep state agency operatives to do his bidding) to bump Renfield off.

Pope Francis had sent a Jesuit hit squad to bump Renfield off.

Thus the meeting hall was stacked with Set Enterprises’ operatives and intelligence agents friendly to Renfield.

There was Set Enterprises secret agents Miranda Singh and Harvey Tallbanger, Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and South African intelligence operative Lepardia Marango.

South African intelligence operative Lepardia Marango: Backstage at the Tewkesbury constituency debate on Foreign Policy.

The four Renfield allied intelligence operatives moved quickly into action.

The light switches were hit.

The hall went dark.

And the 3 different assassination hit squad members ended up shooting and killing one another.

Renfield then invited his 4 intelligence operatives friends back to his B and B for late night tea and crumpets.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday November 21st
2019.

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Renfield Plots Revenge On British Commons Speaker John Bercow

October 21, 2019 at 10:42 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Plots Revenge On British Commons Speaker John Bercow

“It appears the Speaker of the House of Commons John Bercow did not learn his lesson the other night when he was kept awake by Pan Deux’s bagpipe playing and a recording of Nancy Pelosi moaning and groaning while using AOC’s confiscated vibrator,” said a livid British MP Renfield R. Renfield, “he disallowed a simple yes or no vote to be held in the Commons today on the Johnson-Renfield Brexit deal.”

“This John Bercow must be a sucker for punishment,” dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes purred elegantly as she chewed on her cat o’ nine tails and smoothed her black leather skirt.

“He must be,” Renfield agreed, “Miranda Singh has just returned from Turkey where she successfully kicked Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan in the balls with her spiked stilettos this past weekend. I’ve now hired her to go to the Speaker’s residence and kick John Bercow in the balls with her spiked stilettos this evening.”

“And when would you like me to tomato his buttocks?” Sherrielock asked.

“That will be the last resort,” Renfield smiled, “I understand you used your intelligence assets to dig up dirt on Bercow for me.”

“On one of his acquaintances actually,” Sherrielock answered, “not on Bercow himself.”

The dominatrix handed the Transhumanist MP several photos of Bercow with another man.

“Who’s this guy with Bercow?” Renfield inquired.

“He’s the Australian billionaire violin manufacturer Murdoch Pertru,” Sherrielock replied, “who has been seen in Bercow’s company on numerous occasions throughout the years.”

“Australian billionaire violin manufacturer?” Renfield was flabbergasted, “I didn’t even know they made violins over in Australia. Where do they get the wood? They don’t have any trees over there in Australia do they?”.

“They make violins from recycled tires,” said Sherrielock.

“Make violins from recycled tires?” Renfield was now doubly flabbergasted, “I’ve never heard of anything so ridiculous.”

“It’s an Australian thing apparently,” Sherrielock smiled.

“Who the Hell came up with the idea of making violins from recycled tires?” Renfield demanded to know.

“Well it definitely wasn’t Murdoch Pertru,” Sherrielock replied, “Making violins from recycled tires was apparently the brainchild of a notorious individual nicknamed Uncle Ernie who blew his mind on acid decades ago. Uncle Ernie held the patent for the Ernievarius as the violin is still called but he put up that patent as his stake in an LSD induced high stakes poker game which Ernie lost to Murdoch Pertru. Pertru went on to become a successful manufacturer of Ernievarius violins and a billionaire in the process. Uncle Ernie went on to become a successful entertainer at children’s birthday parties in Australia. That is when he wasn’t spending time in the hoosegow for what he did during those parties. Today he runs a small mail order business called Chemical of The Day Club.”

“And what sort of dirt have you dug up on Murdoch Pertru an acquaintance of John Bercow?” Renfield asked.

“Well apparently Pertru spends a great deal of time at a seedy opium den in Sydney’s Chinatown,” Sherrielock replied, “an establishment owned by a mysterious and inscrutable individual who goes by the name of Inn Lu. I’ve asked Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster to psychically look into the background of this Mr. Inn Lu which Michelangelo will do as soon as his lobster tank is repaired after a mysterious explosion that occurred after I entered the room.”

“And what does Murdoch Pertru do in Inn Lu’s seedy opium den?” Renfield inquired.

The dominatrix handed the MP more photographs.

“As you can see looking at those photos, Pertru was caught in several compromising positions with sex dolls made to look like kangaroos,” Sherrielock smiled, “The fact that Bercow is an acquaintance of such a debased defiler of kangaroo sex dolls should prove to be highly embarrassing for the Speaker.”

“Indeed,” Renfield admitted as the terrifying image of Bercow dressed as a sex doll kangaroo entered his mind.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Monday October 21st
2019.


Sherrielock Holmes: Mistress of Intrigue

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