Warrior Princesses Spray Holy Water On Kremlin Meeting Rooms

September 16, 2022 at 10:49 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

South Korean vampire huntress Hyung Grace Kwan is back home in Seoul, South Korea ready to perform with her cello at a classical concert

This past Tuesday September 13th and past Wednesday September 14th Hyung Grace Kwan had been in Astana Kazakhstan killing evil vampires and vampiresses who were attending Astana’s 7th Interfaith Congress.

Then yesterday Thursday September 15th Hyung and her ancestress the immortal princess Kwan Yin were spraying Holy Water around every single Kremlin meeting room in Moscow.

That is because Xi’s supernatural spirit advisor the Black Dragon was supposed to meet with Putin’s supernatural spirit advisor the demon Moloch (who was appearing to Putin in the guise of the Archangel Michael) in the Kremlin on that date.

The Holy Water that Hyung and Kwan used was from a cache of bottles of Holy Water that had been personally blessed by Pope St. Pius X (who was Pope from August 4th 1903 to August 20th 1914).

St. Pius X was the Pope who condemned the Modernist heresy (The Modernist heresy denies the Virgin Birth, Incarnate Deity, Substitionary Atonement For Humanity’s Sins by Dying On The Cross, Bodily Resurrection and 2nd Coming of Jesus Christ).

Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) is the apotheosis of the Modernist heresy.

That’s why Joe Biden’s Oval Office which is thoroughly doused in Pope Francis’ blessed Holy (?) Water (when it isn’t being doused by Joe Biden’s sulphurous bowel movements) is able to attract every single demon, devil, fallen angel and unclean spirit on the planet.

So as a result of the Holy Water doused on the Kremlin and its meeting rooms, the Black Dragon and Moloch (posing as Michael the Archangel) were unable to meet.

Their human operatives Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping and Russian President Vladimir Putin were able to meet however at Samarkand Uzbekistan for the Shanghai Cooperation Organization summit.

At a sideline meeting between Xi and Putin at the SCO Summit, Xi personally humiliated the Russian leader for losing the war in Ukraine.

Although that was nothing to the personal humiliation that Xi suffered Wednesday night at the hands of a holographic image of British MP Renfield R. Renfield at the Astana state banquet for Xi.

Hyung Grace Kwan in the meantime had received a personal request from an admirer (a Calgary based geopolitical analyst) to play Antonio Vivaldi’s Spring Allegro from The Four Seasons at tonight’s cello concert.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 16th
2022.

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Xi In Kazakhstan

September 14, 2022 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Greek goddess Hera was in Astana Kazakhstan today.
As was Pope Francis and Communist China’s supreme despot Xi Jinping.

Hera was visiting Astana today because she had heard that Zeus would be attending the Kazakhstani 7th InterFaith Congress.

Zeus was most definitely in Astana (the Kazakh capital currently suffers under the revolting name Nur-Sultan named after a Kazakhstani politician and former President Nursultan Nazarbayev).

(Editor’s Note from Renfield R. Renfield: Due to the efforts of a Calgary based geopolitical analyst and blogger who has been pointing out in his blog posts the past few days that the name Astana reflects good taste while the name Nur-Sultan reflects bad taste , the government of Kazakhstan announced earlier today that it would be changing the Kazakh capital’s name back to Astana).

Zeus was here to chase a beautiful Jordanian princess (a distant cousin of Jordan’s King Abdullah II) who was here in Astana attending the InterFaith Congress on behalf of the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan.

After cornering the Jordanian princess and asking her to come back to his palace on Mount Olympus where Zeus told her, “I’ll show you the way I ride my bulls”, the Jordanian princess shouted “Revenge for Ixion!” and kicked Zeus in the groin with her spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes.

As Zeus lay on the ground groaning over his groin, Hera came by and hit Zeus over the head with the world’s largest watermelon that had been sent to the InterFaith Congress as a gift from former U.S. President Barack Obama.

Zeus now lay unconscious in a pool of Neo-Bolshevik red coloured juice while the ghost of Josef Stalin and the vampire Lev Tomi (who in his mortal life had been Leon Trotsky) sang that old Platters hit song “Oh yes I’m the Great Pretender…”

And speaking of pretenders and imposters, Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) had to google Who Was Jesus Christ? prior to giving a speech because the so-called Holy Father had forgotten who He was.

And also in Astana Kazakhstan on this day was Communist China’s paramount leader and all round despotic tyrant Xi Jinping.

Xi’s visit to Astana Kazakhstan on this day was his first trip outside Communist China ever since he had released bat virus from the Wuhan Institute of Virology and had begun the plandemic.

“Unholy bat virus, Batman,” a talking robin spoke as he flew down on top of Xi’s hair and crapped all over him.

An immediate search was underway to find some PH Unbalanced Shampoo to shampoo the robin crap out of Xi’s hair.

A bottle was found in The Homicidal Sasquatch Pub in downtown Astana.

Sitting in the pub was the great Irish-Jewish American science-fiction writer George Finneganburg who was talking to the Russian made cyborg sex robot Sophia.

Sophia had been invented by the former East German Stasi scientist Dr. Nicht Werhoffen (who now worked for the Russian FSB).

The cyborg sex robot Sophia had made out with Dracul Van Helsing on a roundtable in the Kazakh Palace of Religion in Astana in 2013.

An incident that was recorded in a geopolitical analyst’s blog post back in 2013 (although at that time the geopolitical analyst lived in Vancouver and not Calgary).

“You mean to say,” George Finneganburg quickly downed his beer, “that Dracul Van Helsing came up with a cyborg sex robot before I did? How the Hell am I going to break the news to Akira?”.

Once the robin crap had been washed out of Xi’s hair, he then met with Kazakh government officials.

After his Astana visit, Xi would be flying to the Russian capital of Moscow for a Kremlin summit meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin in order to discuss the war in Ukraine.

As such, Xi had brought along his Supernatural spirit advisor the Black Dragon to Astana and the winged demon serpent covered in charcoal black would also be accompanying Xi to Moscow.

There the Black Dragon would be meeting with Putin’s supernatural advisor “Saint Michael the Archangel” (who was not really Saint Michael the Archangel but was really the demon Moloch posing as the Archangel Michael in an effort to fool the megalomaniacal would-be Deutero-Czar Peter the Great aka Putin).

Kwan Yin the immortal princess (venerated as the Goddess of Mercy in some sects of Buddhism) and her descendant the South Korean vampire huntress Hyung Grace Kwan were keeping tags on Xi in Astana and would be following him to Moscow for his meeting with Putin.

Xi was now attending a state banquet in his honour with Kazakh government leaders in Astana.

Before Xi sat down at the banquet table, a small robotic Paddington Bear (called Paddy O’ Marmalade), who had been invented by Set Enterprises’ scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague, put a combination of honey, marmalade and Crazy Glue down on Xi’s chair.

When Xi sat down, he got hopelessly stuck and couldn’t get up again.

As members of the Kazakh honour guard struggled to get Xi free from the chair that his pants were hopelessly glued to, the Paddington Bear robot named Paddy O’ Marmalade came and threw a Peking Duck and Thousand Year Old Egg laced cream pie in his face.

The cream pie had been specially prepared and baked by Harvey Tallbanger the 6 foot 8 tall invisible Welsh pooka bunny rabbit who worked as a secret agent for Set Enterprises.

Between his butt stuck to the chair and his face covered in Peking Duck and Thousand Year Old Egg cream pie, Xi did not really look like a great leader.

It was at that moment that the ghost of Winston Churchill (representing the British government) presented Xi with a Winnie the Pooh t-shirt.

Of course Xi could not put it on because of his current predicament.

Just then a holographic image of British MP Renfield R. Renfield appeared and started to sing to the tune of the Beatles song Hey Jude:

“Hey Xi, don’t ask me why
Take a sad song and make it badder
Remember vaccines get under your skin
Changing your DNA
Until you become Transhuman, human, human, human, human,…”

Renfield was broadcasting from the living room of the Set Estate mansion in London, England.

In the background could be heard the sound of Amadeus Emanon opening the door to pick up the Chinese Food delivery they had ordered from a Chinese restaurant.

“Hey Amadeus,” Renfield piped up, “Ask the delivery guy how do you say “Xi Jinping, you are a total loser” in Chinese?”.

Amadeus asked.

And the Chinese Food delivery guy answered adding and ad libbing a few nasty pejoratives of his own.

Renfield spoke in perfect Mandarin (with some Cantonese thrown in for good measure) telling Xi that he was a total loser and throwing in the delivery guy’s added ad libbed nasty pejoratives of his own.

Xi was livid with rage although you couldn’t tell because his face was covered in Peking Duck and Thousand Year Old Egg cream pie while his bottom was still being pulled away from the butt locking combination of honey, marmalade and Crazy Glue on his chair.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 14th
2022.

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Baal In Kazakhstan

September 13, 2022 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The demon Baal in Kazakhstan

The ghost of Cecil B. DeMille had taken a technicolour photo of the demon Baal in Kazakhstan.

The demon Baal was the object of veneration and worship at a human sacrifice ceremony at a site just north of the Kazakh capital of Astana (now called Nur-Sultan).

Due to his bum knee, Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) was unable to attend the ceremony in hopes of improving ecumenical relations with all religions and all deities.

A backdrop choreographer for the U.S. Democratic Party was present to get ideas for Joe Biden’s next major speech.

He was the same choreographer who had done the Nazi colours blood red backdrop for Biden’s speech in Philadelphia back on September 1st of this year 2022.

Samhain Cardinal Salaman was a member of the Vatican entourage accompanying Francis to this Inter-Faith Summit in Astana.

Cardinal Salaman was examining the Cecil B. DeMille technicolour photograph alongside South Korean vampire huntress Hyung Grace Kwan.

Hyung had spent the day locating evil vampires and vampiresses (who were attending the summit) in their coffins and beheading them and staking them through the heart.

She was to vampires and vampiresses what the Covid-19 vaccines were to previously healthy and strong young athletes (they were all dropping dead on the spot as a result).

“So,” Samhain Cardinal Salaman sipped his tea, “I understand you’re a direct descendant of the immortal princess Kwan Yin.”

“That is correct,” Hyung nodded.

“And she’s venerated as the goddess of mercy by various branches of Buddhism,” the Cardinal helped himself to a mooncake.

“Yes, that’s true,” Hyung said, “My ancestress is immortal (having drunk from springs of immortality from a certain mountain in a certain valley in China) but she doesn’t consider herself a goddess although others do.”

“As opposed to George Soros, Bill Gates and Klaus Schwab who all consider themselves gods even though others don’t,” Samhain mused aloud.

“Yes, very true,” Hyung poured more tea.

“You know I know nothing whatsoever about most religions except a smattering of some knowledge of kabbalah,” Cardinal Salaman explained, “Which is why Pope Francis had me baptised, then confirmed, then ordained a deacon, then ordained a priest, then consecrated a bishop and then created a Cardinal all on the same day.”

“I see,” Hyung smiled at the admission.

“So, tell me,” the Cardinal once again took a close look at the ghost of Cecil B. DeMille’s technicolour photograph of the demon Baal, “Are Baal and Moloch one and the same god?”.

“Many theologians and professors of Classical Middle Eastern History seem to think so,” the scholarly vampire huntress answered, “but in fact Baal and Moloch are demonic twin brothers.”

“There are twins among demons?” Cardinal Salaman was surprised.

“A few, yes,” Hyung nodded.

“So, is Moloch in Kazakhstan as well?” The Cardinal inquired.

“No, he’s in Moscow serving as an advisor to Russian President Vladimir Putin,” the vampire huntress answered.

“Really?” Salaman helped himself to another mooncake.

“Although Moloch is posing as the Archangel Michael to Putin,” Hyung explained, “so Putin thinks he was following Saint Michael the Archangel’s advice when he invaded Ukraine in February to capture the capital of Kyiv and then the rest of Ukraine ”

“Now I may not know too much religion especially Catholicism,” The Cardinal took another sip of tea, “but I do know that Saint Michael the Archangel is considered one of the Patron Saints of the City of Kyiv. Did Putin really think that Michael would ask him to invade and conquer a city of which he’s a Patron Saint?”.

“Well, I don’t think Putin really knows much about Ukrainian history and culture and tradition,” Hyung answered.

“In that he’s a lot like the late Soviet dictator Josef Stalin,” Salaman noted.

“In fairness to Putin,” Hyung pointed out, “He only followed Moloch because Moloch was posing as Saint Michael the Archangel. Whereas Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden and most U.S. Democrats follow the demons Baal and Baphomet even though Baal and Baphomet are appearing as themselves Baal and Baphomet.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 13th
2022.

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Krampusnacht 2017

December 5, 2017 at 8:55 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Krampusnacht 2017

The half-goat half-demon creature of the Christmas season Krampus (who might be thought of as the Anti-Saint Nicholas) was busy gathering up Canadian advertisers and putting them in coal sacks to carry them off to Hell as the commercials and TV ads shown on Canadian television this year of 2017 were the most depraved in history.

The advertisers vigorously objected to their fate but Krampus ignored their pleas and put them in his sack anyways.

Canada’s pot smoking and pot legalizing Prime Minister Justin Trudeau only escaped being put in a bag and being carried off to Hell by putting a lamp shade over his head and holding a sign in front of him that said I Don’t Pose For Selfies.

. . .

Russian President Vladimir Putin was pissed at the fact that the International Olympic Committee had banned his country from participating at next year’s Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang South Korea.

“You should really do something about it,” said the demon Moloch who was appearing to Putin in the apparitional form of the Archangel Michael.

“What should I do?” Putin ripped up a subpoena from U.S. Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

“Who don’t you invade Israel?” Moloch as Michael suggested.

“Why should I invade Israel?” Putin said while glancing at a Happy Hanukkah greeting card someone had sent him.

“Why not?” Moloch as Michael shrugged.

“I need a better reason than that,” Putin said as he ate a cracker with Black Sea caviar on it.

“Your influence in the Middle East will soar out of this world,” Moloch smiled, “particularly in lieu of what looks like Donald Trump’s impending announcement that he’s going to recognize Jerusalem as Israel’s eternal undivided capital.”

“You might have a point there,” Putin rubbed his chin in contemplative 🤔 fashion.

. . .

Renfield R. Renfield MP was having a caucus meeting with his fellow Transhumanist MP Morgana Fay Lee (the Welsh Vampiress Morgana) the MP for Newbridge in Wales.

They were discussing the possibility of war in the Middle East in lieu of Trump’s announcement on the status of Jerusalem.

“I suppose one good thing that might come out of it is Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan might sever relations with the U.S. if Trump goes ahead,” Renfield stated, “which means that the would be Ottoman Sultan would be kicked out of NATO.”

A scream could be heard coming from the next room as a British Conservative MP accused of sexual harassment by dozens of women was thrown into Krampus’ bag.

Renfield looked at the calendar and commented, “That’s right. It is Krampusnacht tonight isn’t it?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday December 5th
2017.

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