Morgan Le Fay

May 21, 2021 at 10:40 pm (Art, Arts, Ghost Story, History, painting, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Picture of Morgan Le Fay

“So you’re trying to track down the original painting that appears at this website?” British MP Renfield R. Renfield asked Dashwood Forrest the owner and curator of the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London.

“I am,” Forrest nodded, “I’ve come across sketches of this portrait in various books and they say it’s a portrait of Morgan Le Fay.”

“The Arthurian era enchantress?” Renfield sipped a martini, “But the woman in this portrait looks like a woman of the 1930s judging by her hairstyle and style of dress. I thought Morgan Le Fay died back in the Arthurian era.”

“There were rumours that back in 1930 an archaeologist found her grave on the Isle of Avalon not far from Glastonbury and a spiritist medium friend of the archaeologist used her incredible occultic powers to bring Morgan Le Fay back from the dead,” Forrest explained.

“And someone in the decade of the 1930s painted her picture?” Renfield finished his martini.

“Yes,” Forrest nodded.

“I wonder who?” Renfield looked at the website photograph of the painting as Forrest shrugged.

. . .

The ghost of Winston Churchill and the ghost of Orson Welles were sitting in comfortable armchairs in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London estate.

Both were smoking spectral cigars.

Churchill was sipping a spectral brandy.

And Welles was sipping a spectral glass of spectral red wine.

“Anyways,” Churchill continued with his story to Welles, “In my painting career, I painted in various different painting styles. I once painted what looked to be in style a black and white photo of Morgan Le Fay but it was actually a painting. One I must say I was exceptionally proud of. Sadly, Clementine didn’t like it and gave it away to someone. She wouldn’t say who. She didn’t want me to get it back. I think Clementine was jealous of Morgan Le Fay’s exceptional beauty.”

“Do you mean Morgan Le Fay the Arthurian era enchantress?” Welles almost spilled his spectral glass of spectral red wine all over his ghostly suit, “But I thought she died back in Arthurian times.”

“She was apparently brought back from the dead in 1930,” Churchill explained.

“Is she still alive today?” Welles asked.

. . .

“Is this seat taken?” The beautiful and attractive young woman asked Dracul Van Helsing in the Saint George’s Pub.

“No, it most definitely is not,” Van Helsing answered.

The woman sat down in the pub booth directly across from Dracul Van Helsing.

Her dress, her fur covering, her necklace, her gloves, her hairstyle and appearance seem to have been accurately and prophetically depicted by one Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill many decades ago.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 21st
2021.

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Orson Welles Tells A Story About An Ox On Chinese New Year’s Eve

February 11, 2021 at 10:41 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the ghost of Orson Welles were celebrating Chinese New Year’s Eve via Skype with Mei-ling Manchu (who was Renfield’s ally in seeking to topple the Communist despot Xi Jinping from power in China).

Mei-ling Manchu was sampling a most delectable variety of rice wine.

Renfield was sipping from a rather large glass of sherry.

Orson Welles’ ghost was sipping from a rather large spectral glass of spectral sherry.

“Well, Happy Year of the Ox,” Welles raised his glass in a toast.

“Happy Year of the Ox,” Renfield and Mei-ling joined in.

They drank to the New Year.

Hoping it would be better than the Year of the Rat which saw various plagues descend upon the world.

“Do you know there’s a little known Arthurian tale about Merlin being turned into an ox by the enchantress Morgan le Fay?” Welles’ ghost asked.

“It must be little known,” Renfield admitted, “because I don’t know it.”

Mei-ling laughed.

“Yes,” Welles’ ghostly cheeks were turning from ghostly white to cherry red after imbibing much sherry, “I’ll tell it to you now.”

And this is the story Welles’ ghost told:

It had come to the attention of Morgan le Fay that Merlin was urging Arthur to exile her from Camelot for making illegal moonshine.

The moon was apparently shining on nights when there wasn’t a full moon.

Angry, Morgan took a walk into the woods.

There she stumbled upon an inn The Wild Boar Inn.

Morgan entered the inn, ordered a glass of mead and sat down by the fireplace.

While there she noticed the rather corpulent Baron Grimwald of Grease sitting at a table demanding a large pot sized bowl of boiled ox soup.

“But there’s no ox in the vicinity,” the innkeeper protested.

“Bullocks,” Baron Grimwald cursed.

Morgan left a coin on the table after finishing her glass of mead and left the inn.

While traversing a path through the woods, she stumbled upon Merlin.

Morgan recalled a spell for turning a person into an ox and so she did that to Merlin.

She hastened back to the inn.

“Oh, innkeeper,” she laughed, “There’s an ox walking along that path through the woods. You can now give Baron Grimwald his large pot sized bowl of boiled ox soup.”

“Great,” the innkeeper grabbed all his butcher knives and headed out with his servants to slay and cut up the ox.

Merlin’s owl realized his master was in trouble so headed back to Camelot Castle for help.

Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table were at the time at a jousting tournament in another part of the realm.

Queen Guenevere was there however and she could even speak owl even though no one else in King Arthur’s court gave a hoot.

So Queen Guenevere got on her grayish white horse and rode to the rescue.

She arrived at the Wild Boar Inn just as the innkeeper and his servants were about to butcher the poor ox.

“Wait,” Guenevere got off her high horse.

“Your Majesty,” the innkeeper and his servants bowed to her.

Guenevere happened to know the spell for turning an ox back into a man and therefore used it.

The ox turned back into Merlin.

“Bullocks,” said Morgan when she saw what happened.

“”Bullocks,” said Baron Grimwald when he saw that his dinner was no more.

“And so that’s how Guenevere rescued Merlin from becoming a broiled ox soup,” Welles’ ghost smiled.

“No, I’ve definitely never heard that story before,” Renfield admitted.

“Nor I,” said Mei-ling.

“Here’s to the Year of the Ox,” Welles raised his glass again.

“Happy New Year,” Renfield and Mei-ling joined in the toast.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 11th
2021.

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Renfield’s Post-Election Defeat Stress Disorder

May 13, 2015 at 7:14 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield’s Post-Election Defeat Stress Disorder

Renfield R. Renfield the leader of the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party was lying on the sofa in the living room.

His eyes were glazed as if he were in a total state of shock (or had been listening to Paris Hilton giving an oral presentation analyzing the Liebestod in Tristan und Isolde).

Renfield was suffering from PEDSD or Post-Election Defeat Stress Disorder.

All 11 of his independent candidates running on his British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party platform (including himself) had gone down to defeat in last Thursday’s United Kingdom General Election.

Ten of them had wound up in last place in their respective constituencies including himself Renfield R. Renfield.

And he had done the worst of all the candidates running on behalf of his party- he had received only one vote in his constituency of London Collingwood Hills where his boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian Vampire Set’s colossal London mansion was located.

This further sent Renfield into a state of agony as if he were receiving a major enema up the bowels of his netherworld.

“Since I know I voted for myself,” Renfield wept to Athelstan the mansion’s butler and Amadeus Emanon the mansion’s resident concert pianist, “since I always vote for the best candidate, what this means is that neither of you nor the Boss voted for me.”

Both Athelstan and Amadeus looked at Renfield but said nothing.

The independent candidate for his British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party who had done the best was the Welsh Vampiress Morgana (a niece of the sorceress Morgan Le Fay of Arthurian fame) who had come in second behind Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley in the Welsh constituency of Newbridge.

Now there was a call among the country’s science-fiction loving nerds who made up the bulk of the party’s membership that Renfield be dumped as party leader and replaced with Morgana.

So Renfield had rented a Darth Vader costume along with a pair of Mr. Spock ears (that he’d place on either side of his Darth Vader helmet) to give a live webcast speech to the party’s membership tonight defending his leadership.

Renfield picked up from the coffee table a copy of the speech he had written to deliver to the party later that evening.

The speech began, “My fellow Transhumanists, I may never have owned a dog called Checkers but I once played the game of Chinese checkers…”

He put down the speech, sat back on the sofa and looked depressed again.

Amadeus put on the radio to listen to the program The Galloping Guru- a self-help and motivational program hosted by a New Age speaker who gave beatitudes of inspiration and enlightenment while riding on a horse through the Tennessee countryside.

As the emergency sound of a train whistle blowing and the anguished neighing of a horse could be heard, this was then followed by a moment of silence.

Then the somewhat agonized voice of the not-so-Galloping Guru spoke while ambulance sirens were heard in the background, “I’m reminded of something Robert Downey Jr. once said… Just because you hit bottom doesn’t mean you have to stay there.”

“Just because you hit bottom doesn’t mean there aren’t other movie roles out there besides the male lead in Fifty Shades of Grey either,” Renfield remarked in punishing fashion.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 12th
2015.

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Don Juan Rising: Man and Transhuman

April 7, 2015 at 6:54 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Mystery/horror, Satire, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Don Juan Rising: Man and Transhuman

Renfield R. Renfield the genetically created hamster/human Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was practicing a political speech in front of the living room’s antique Louis XIV Sun King mirror much to his friend Amadeus Emanon’s amusement.

A couple of years earlier, Renfield had founded the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party.

Unfortunately Renfield had not come up with the required number of signatures for his party to be recognized as a registered political party in Britain so he was unable to take part in recent leaders’ election debates or in future leaders’ election debates.

Thus not being a registered party, his candidates had to run as independent candidates in the UK’s various constituencies.

Although there were not that many members of his Party running as candidates anyways.

There were only 10 other candidates running as independents on the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti-Bio Conservative Party platform throughout the United Kingdom’s 650 constituencies.

Of these, 9 were thirty something in age long-haired and bearded science-fiction fans who were still living in their parents’ basements.

The 10th was the Welsh Vampiress Morgana (a niece of the sorceress Morgan Le Fay) who was running as an independent on the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party platform against well-known far far Left backbench British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley (who unbeknownst to his constituents and the public at large was a werewolf) in the Welsh constituency of Newbridge.

Renfield himself was running as an Independent on the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party platform in the constituency of London Collingwood Hills where his boss the Vampire Set’s colossal mansion was located.

The constituency had been a British Conservative Party stronghold for the past 70 years.

At an all-candidates’ forum in the Constituency last week, Renfield extolled the virtues of living in a society where everybody had upgraded to the new Humanity 2.0 and had become Transhuman.

“It’s the next step in our human evolution,” Renfield waved a copy of The Origin of Species, “Charles Darwin, if he weren’t dead, would have been so proud.”

Renfield said that recent developments in the fields of genetics, robotics, artificial intelligence, nanotechnology and synthetic biology would allow everyone to become Transhuman.

“Think of where technology has taken us these past 100 years,” Renfield enthused, “why 100 years ago only people who lived in your own neighbourhood or own town or city might have known that you’re an idiot. But today thanks to advanced technology and social networking sites such as Twitter, YouTube and Facebook, you now have the chance to show the entire world what an idiot you are.”

The remark did not go over too well for some reason.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 7th
2015.

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