Marmalade Montague Encounters Dahud

May 16, 2020 at 10:50 pm (Comedy, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Marmalade Montague Encounters Dahud

Dr. Marmalade Montague, the eccentric ex-baker who now fancied himself the Court Scientist To The Court of Louis Quatorze (a scientist whose name has never appeared once in the annals of history) and thought he had somehow time traveled to the year 2020, was hard at work this Saturday night in his small personal laboratory at Set Enterprises in Canary Wharf, London.

Marmalade Montague had become convinced that the reason he had been transported through time from the Sun King’s reign to this year of 2020 was to find a vaccine or antidote to the Covid-19 Coronavirus.

He had been hired by Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher earlier this month.

Marmalade was oblivious to the fact that Dr. Cadbury Rocher had hired him not because of his supposed alchemy and transmutation of metals skills (which the self-declared “Doctor” Montague had boasted about) but because Dr. Cadbury Rocher had felt sorry for him- a baker who had lost his bakery due to lack of payment of rent due to his bakery being forced to shut down during the Paris lockdown.

Dr. Montague worked quite contentedly on his many recipes for developing an antidote to the Coronavirus.

One was a combination of thousand year old egg (considered a delicacy by members of the Chinese Communist Party Central Committee but by nobody else in the world who had even an ounce of sanity) and horse radish.

That combination was sent to some members of the EU negotiating committee (who were negotiating the UK’s withdrawal from the EU on behalf of the EU).

Later after job advertisements were posted for new negotiators for the EU negotiation team as well as funeral services being livestreamed for some recently departed EU members of that team, Dr. Montague deduced that the combination was not a success.

Dr. Montague decided to go for a walk with Set Enterprises’ panda bear named Genghis Yawn.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher had built a greenhouse at the Set Enterprises’ facility where the bamboo grown in it tasted as fresh and as good as those grown in China itself.

Being a Set Enterprises’ employee, Dr. Marmalade Montague had ID allowing him to walk the streets of London.

As did Set Enterprises’ security guard Gibson who accompanied Marmalade and the panda bear Genghis Yawn on the walk.

Gibson’s purpose was to roll the wheelbarrow full of bamboo leaves, stems and shoots down the street so that Genghis Yawn would have something to eat (for panda bears eat up to 90 lbs. of bamboo a day).

Of course Genghis Yawn didn’t really like to exercise while eating so Dr. Marmalade Montague didn’t get much of an evening walk.

First Genghis would sit down and eat his bamboo.

Then after eating all that bamboo, Genghis would then sleep.

So in fact, Dr. Montague didn’t get any walking done at all.

Genghis was wheeled home in the empty wheelbarrow (now empty of bamboo leaves, stems and shoots) as he slept.

Dr. Marmalade Montague went to his office (next to his lab) where he was starting to feel tired himself as watching Genghis Yawn sleep had made him feel sleepy.

As Dr. Marmalade Montague put his head back on his couch, a beautiful looking short skirted redhead entered through his office window.

“Bonjour, Monsieur. You are single, oui?” The redhead spoke with a French accent.

“Oui, I am, mademoiselle,” Dr. Montague smiled, “I am a widow. My wife was killed in a paratrooper parachuting accident in the Sahara Desert after she had joined the French Foreign Legion upon leaving me. Her last words to me as she went out the door of our apartment were, “I’d rather die than be married to you any longer.” I really didn’t expect her words to be so literal but that turned out to be the case.”

Dahud (for that was the sexy young looking French redhead’s name) pushed Dr. Marmalade Montague back onto the couch and started kissing him passionately on the lips.

At that moment London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes the Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering For Set Enterprises entered the room carrying a large Crucifix in her hands.

“Merde!” Dahud exclaimed as she got off the couch.

“Merde!” Dr. Marmalade Montague exclaimed as Dahud went out the office window.

“I came in the nick of time,” Sherrielock stated.

“I’ll have to disagree,” Marmalade Montague sighed, “Where did you get that Crucifix?”.

“It was leant to me by a friend,” Sherrielock explained, “It’s 70 years old and was personally blessed by Pope Pius XII.”

“Well,” Dr. Marmalade Montague remarked wistfully as he watched the short skirted and sexy pantyhose clad redhead mount a fire breathing black horse instead of mounting him the ex-baker turned Louis Quatorze court scientist, “It’s too bad it hadn’t been a Crucifix blessed by Pope Francis. It might not have been so effective.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 16th
2020.

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Fatima, Sodom, Mohammad bin Salman and Lady MacBeth

May 13, 2020 at 10:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Fatima, Sodom, Mohammad bin Salman and Lady MacBeth

Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was standing outside the Catholic shrine at Fatima, Portugal alongside one of the commanders of the Portuguese National Republican Guard.

Several soldiers belonging to the guard (who had been guarding the shrine against Catholic pilgrims wanting to attend the site to mark the 103rd anniversary of the 1st appearance of the Virgin Mary to 3 shepherd children at the location) had died at their posts after their face masks had suffocated them to death.

The deaths by suffocation had occurred after a mermaid riding a fire breathing black horse had rode by each man.

“Each one of the dead men had text messaged their friends about being visited in their beds in the middle of the night by a mysterious beautiful woman,” the Commander explained, “Whitstable, do you have any idea who this woman is?”.

“Well, I doubt very much it was Nancy Pelosi or any of her supporters,” Whitstable answered.

. . .

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman was wrestling with the fact that his desert kingdom was now facing bankruptcy.

He now held in his hands the report from his country’s Finance Minister about the state of the situation.

How could this happen to him, a devoted servant of Allah who had been waging and financing a genocidal civil war against the Houthi peoples of Yemen for the past 5 years?

He who had served up pieces of dissident Saudi journalists as appetizers to Dr. Hannibal Lecter wannabes?

Only months ago, he had tried to wreck both the Russian oil industry and the U.S. shale oil industry by ramping up production of Saudi oil and driving the price down to below zero dollars a barrel .

Now that decision had turned around to bite him in the ass.

Well it was actually New York City Council Speaker Corey Johnson (who had recently been taught astral projection by the demon Baphomet) who was sodomizing him in the rear end.

Johnson who had been astral flying over a road that went down from Jerusalem to Jericho remarked contemptuously “Samaritan’s Purse!” when he saw a man being carried on the back of a donkey and helped by a kind stranger after the man had fallen among thieves.

The act reminded Johnson of that organization headed by Rev. Franklin Graham who was a kind humanitarian and not an abominable sexual pervert.

Fortunately for Johnson, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (on the advice of both King Herod’s ghost and New York State’s powerful Sodom and Gomorrah lobby) were going to tax Samaritan’s Purse medical volunteers even though they worked for nothing running a field hospital emergency tent in NYC during the height of the Covid-19 crisis.

As Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman was being sodomized by Johnson’s “astral body”, he reflected among his many other troubles that even his royal personal spirit guide the ghost of Lady MacBeth had left him.

. . .

Pope Francis shrieked when he saw the ghost of Lady MacBeth standing before him in his papal bedroom.

“What’s a woman doing in my bedroom?” He bellowed as he called out to his papal puffter personal aide and secretary.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 13th
2020

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Renfield and The French Femme Fatale

May 11, 2020 at 10:46 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Renfield and The French Femme Fatale

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was lying in bed when suddenly a beautiful young looking red haired woman wearing a red lingerie slip entered his bedroom.

“Bonjour, Monsieur,” the woman smiled at him.

“Bonjour, mademoiselle,” Renfield answered always happy to practice his French anywhere he could.

The woman got into bed with him and gave him a French lesson he’d never forget.

The next morning when he got up, she was gone.

He noticed a PPE medical mask lying on top of his dresser with a note attached that said:

“I know you don’t like wearing these since Neo-Marxist totalitarians are always telling people to wear them but please wear one for me when you go outside today, Monsieur.

Affectionately yours,
your petite 
Marie-Morgane.”

Her name must be Marie-Morgane, Renfield deduced.

After he had showered and shaved and breakfasted, Renfield put on the PPE medical mask and went downstairs.

Waiting for him down at the bottom of the stairs was world famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes who was also the Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering For Set Enterprises.

That morning, Sherrielock had received an emergency text message from Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

“Where do you think you’re going wearing that PPE medical mask?” Sherrielock asked him.

“Out!” Renfield replied.

“Clang!” The frying pan Sherrielock was holding in her hand came down on top of his head.

“Don’t worry, you’ll thank me for this,” Sherrielock tore the mask off Renfield’s face and threw it outside.

A mermaid riding a fire breathing black horse could be seen outside the window of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal mansion.

A look of extreme disappointment appeared on the mermaid’s face as the mask (devoid of Renfield) blew away in the wind.

When Renfield awakened moaning on the floor later, Sherrielock, who was opening up a can of tuna in the kitchen, called out, “I just saved you from one deadly piece of tail.”

. . .

The Norse mother earth goddess Jord was meeting with the Inca mother earth goddess Pachamama in Paris.

“So, then, it’s agreed?” Pachamama asked Jord.

“It is,” Jord ate some lutefisk with her glass of champagne, “My son Thor says he’s willing to help as well.”

“Where is Thor at the moment?” Pachamama asked.

“He’s currently in northern Syria helping Ares the Greek god of war nurse a major hangover,” Jord replied.

. . .

Pope Francis was reading the latest report on how very few public Masses were now being said across the world.

He smiled.

He had been very successful in his mission.

Of course he couldn’t have done it without the help of George Soros, Bill Gates, Jeffrey Sachs, the People’s Republic of China and Bono.

The pontiff looked out the window and noticed birds of a feather flocking together on an adjacent rooftop.

It was a murder of crows.

But instead of having crows’ heads, the midnight black birds had heads of tiny black snakes.

Pope Francis turned out the lights and went to bed.

Where he had a nightmare of people not social distancing and Raquel Welch dancing on top of a table while Marcello Mastroianni applauded.

“Heterosexual relationships,” Francis cried out in anguish, “It’s the end of the world.”

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Monday May 11th
2020.

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A Mermaid Rides A Fire Breathing Black Horse

May 10, 2020 at 10:53 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

A Mermaid Rides A Fire Breathing Black Horse

Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was walking down a Berlin street carrying out proper social distancing with members of the Berlin Police Force as they examined the dead bodies of several masked men.

Whitstable when he awaited the coroner’s report into each death suspected the same cause as had been happening in cities all over the world with masked men being found dead in the street.

The cause of death was suffocation from the mask and it was obvious from marks and various injuries on the bodies that each man had struggled to take off the mask which they were unable to do.

There were also reports from various eye witnesses looking out the windows of their houses or apartments or masked women walking the street that each masked man had been approached by a mermaid riding a fire breathing black horse.

Other investigations revealed that before each man (who was usually single) walked out on the street wearing a mask, he had called a friend or relative saying that he had just had the most realistic dream- where an enchantingly beautiful young woman with copper reddish blonde hair had entered his bed and made love to him.

Whitstable gathered that the woman (who had appeared to the men in the realistic dream) was all human from the descriptions the soon to be dead from being suffocated wearing masked men had told their friends.

The mermaid riding the breathing fire through its nostrils black horse was likewise described as being enchantingly beautiful and having copper reddish blonde hair.

However in the case of the rider, it was the upper torso, arms and head which was female human while the bottom part was lower fish with tail.

Whitstable had received a report of a mermaid riding a fire breathing black horse once last year.

In the Bay of Douarnenez just off Brittany’s western Atlantic coast, a mermaid riding a fire breathing black horse was seen rising from the sea just before 18:20 CEST on April 15th 2019.

What Whitstable found significant about the time was that was the exact same moment that fire broke out beneath the roof of Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris just slightly over a year ago.

Talking to a professor of mythology and folklore at Oxford University this evening, Whitstable was able to obtain information that might be helpful.

The mermaid and the nocturnal succubus woman (who slept with the men in the realistic dream) were probably one and the same person- Princess Dahud the daughter of Gradlon the King of Kernev (a territory in southern Brittany) and a northern Queen and enchantress named Malgven.

Malgven just happened to have owned a black horse named Movarc’h who breathed fire through his nostrils as he galloped along.

Malgven died at sea shortly after giving birth to Dahud.

Gradlon had built his daughter Dahud a city by the sea called Ker-Is.

Gradlon made the city his new capital but became a recluse in it listening to the sermons of a holy monk who occasionally visited him- a holy monk who became known to history as Saint Guenole.

Dahud soon became the de facto ruler of the city of Ker-Is because of her father’s reclusiveness.

The city under Dahud became a centre of debauchery and perversion, iniquity and vice (the sort of city that would be loved by today’s media, cultural and entertainment elites).

Princess Dahud was the most depraved of all.

She ate and drank to excess all day (resembling a female movie star or female musician celebrity after a couple of years of stardom).

She also took a new lover every night (the sort of woman who’d be considered an ideal candidate as Joe Biden’s Democratic Party Vice-Presidential running mate).

In the morning, she’d give her now discarded male lover a mask (ostensibly to leave the castle unnoticed and to protect his identity in the daylight).

However the mask was an enchanted bewitched mask that suffocated the wearer and each morning another dead body was thrown into the sea.

According to different versions of the legend, the city of Ker-Is was destroyed either by divine judgement or machinations of the Devil (possibly both).

King Gradlon tried to escape the sinking city (engulfed by rising sea waters) along with his daughter Dahud by riding Morvac’h.

However the horse struggled through the pounding and raging sea waves.

A voice from Heaven told King Gradlon that the weight of Dahud’s numerous sins was weighing the horse down.

It was then that the Devil leapt out of the sea and grabbed Dahud turning her into a mermaid and one of his servants.

So while King Gradlon and Morvac’h made it to shore safely, his now fishy daughter Dahud and the city of Ker-Is went beneath the waves of the sea.

The Oxford mythologist and folklorist told Whitstable that while no one knew what happened to Morvac’h after King Gradlon’s death, the fire breathing black horse must have somehow wound up in the possession of Dahud (after all Morvac’h had originally belonged to Dahud’s mother the northern Queen and enchantress named Malgven).

So last year, Dahud in mermaid form had risen from the Bay of Douarnenez riding the fire breathing black horse Morvarc’h and Notre-Dame Cathedral had almost become totally engulfed in flames.

What about the city of Ker-Is itself?

The Oxford folklorist’s answer of an old Breton proverb chilled Whitstable to the bone, “When Ker-Is rises again, Paris will be consumed.”

Whitstable put in an emergency phone call to French President Emmanuel Macron.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Sunday May 10th
2020.


Princess Dahud as she appears in full human form in today’s world.

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