Hephaestus and The Hwasong-15 Missile

November 29, 2017 at 8:28 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Hephaestus and The Hwasong-15 Missile

Hephaestus the Greek god of the forge was in his lodgings in Pyongyang the North Korean capital.

He had spent the day building missiles for North Korea’s leader Kim Jong-un.

His latest missile was the Hwasong-15 which had just been tested overnight.

Hephaestus had promised his wife Aphrodite a few months ago that he’d stop building missiles for Little Rocket Man Kim but he couldn’t keep his promise.

The problem was Hephaestus had become addicted to drinking a Korean distilled liquor called Munbaeju.

Munbaeju is a traditional distilled liquor made of malted millet, sorghum, wheat, rice and nuruk with a strength of 40% alcohol by volume.

The drink originates in the Pyongyang region of North Korea πŸ‡°πŸ‡΅ and is noted for its fragrance which is said to resemble the fragrance of the munbae tree (similar to a pear 🍐).

In fact, the name of the drink itself Munbaeju consists of two words munbae (which means “wild pear”) and ju (meaning “alcohol”).

The origins of Munbaeju are traced to the Goryeo Dynasty (Goryeo also spelled Koryo was a kingdom established in 918 AD by King Taejo. This kingdom of Koryo later gave rise to the modern name Korea).

The water used to produce Munbaeju comes from the Taedong River that runs through the North Korean capital of Pyongyang.

Seeing as how living in Pyongyang made Hephaestus close to the source of his beloved Munbaeju drink, he decided to continue building missiles for Kim Jong-un since by doing so, Kim gave the Greek god of the forge all the free Munbaeju he desired.

As for the Hwasong-15 missile Hephaestus had built, it had reached an altitude of 4475 kilometres (2780 miles) and flew 950 kilometres in 53 minutes in its overnight test.

In an analysis, the U.S. based Union of Concerned Scientists concluded that the Hwasong-15 could travel more than 13,000 kilometres thus reaching any part of the continental United States πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ including the eastern seaboard or even Washington DC itself.

The conclusion caused a few hairs in Donald Trump’s toupee to turn grey and led him in such a rage that he retweeted a few of the ultra nationalist far-right Britain First videos.

Of course what the overnight test of the Hwasong-15 missile had to do with Muslim immigrants in Britain would only make sense to Trump’s uniquely personal form of reasoning.

As Hephaestus drank some of the Munbaeju, a barking otter soon joined him.

The barking otter was named Jefferey and came from the planet Nibiru (a planet that yes had otters similar to earthling otters).

Jefferey in fact used Munbaeju in the making of his own Otterbury Green Minnow Ale beer.

As the minnows in the Taedong River were quite fond of drinking Munbaeju and turned green after doing so.

Any geopolitical analyst worth his salt (as well as his unwasted margaritas in Margaritaville) would deduce that the alcoholic proclivities of Greek deities, Nibiruan otters and Taedong River minnows could spell unprecedented nuclear disaster for the world.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 29th
2017.

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