Renfield and Rebecca Black’s Moment

July 19, 2011 at 9:29 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

“I noticed Rebecca Black has just released a new song and video called My Moment,” Amadeus Emanon remarked as he spilled hot buttered popcorn all over his freshly washed shirt.

“That was the wonderful thing about being in a coma for two months,” Renfield said through mouth loads of tuna fish sandwich, “I missed all the fuss and kefuffle over Rebecca Black’s song Friday.”

“I happen to like Rebecca Black’s song Friday,” Amadeus looked at the calendar and noticed that it was a Tuesday.

“Well, if you don’t mind me saying so, Amadeus, I’ve always thought you a bit weird,” Renfield put some bananas and chocolate sauce on top of his tuna fish sandwich.

“I noticed Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing on his relationship status at Facebook says In a complicated relationship with Rebecca Black and Robinson Crusoe’s manservant Friday,” Amadeus then helped himself to his plate of fish n’ chips.

“Really?” Renfield was shocked, “But Rebecca Black is only 13 years old. I didn’t know Van Helsing liked them that young and wouldn’t a manservant be a reference to a guy? I didn’t know Van Helsing swung both ways.”

“I believe his relationship status is meant to be a joke,” Amadeus explained, “since Rebecca Black had a hit song called Friday and as for Robinson Crusoe’s manservant Friday, he’s a fictional character in a fictional novel called Robinson Crusoe that was written by British writer Daniel Defoe back in 1719.”

“Well not everyone has the advantage of a classical education such as yourself,” Renfield snorted between mouthfuls of tuna fish and banana and chocolate sauce sandwiches.

“Well, I’ve never had a formal classical education,” Amadeus replied, “I just read a great deal of the books in the Boss’ library. Maybe if you read the books in there instead of all the porno girlie magazines, you’d be classically educated too.”

“I don’t look at porno photos of women in magazines,” Renfield protested, “I look at them on the Net.”

“So Van Helsing doesn’t really pursue 13-year-old girls nor is he bisexual,” Amadeus put some more malt vinegar on his fish, “in fact he’s 100% excessively heterosexual.”

“How can someone be excessively heterosexual?” Renfield put his sandwich down and stared at Amadeus quizzically.

“Well those were the words that South Korean vampire huntress Hyung Grace Kwan used of him in a conversation I had with her once,” Amadeus bit into the batter of fresh Atlantic cod.

“Really?” Renfield bit his lip, “Damn! I knew I should have videotaped what Dracul and Hyung were doing in that hotel room in Cannes that time we had a room next to them. It would have made for one hot tape.”

To be continued.

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