Pan Goatee Beheads Brainless Uglo While Matthew Fox Is In The Running To Become The Next Unholy Grand Inquisitor

April 14, 2022 at 10:59 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Krampus The Demon much prefers Christmas to April snowstorms

It was April.

And there was a huge snowstorm happening.

So much for global warming.

Former U.S. Vice-President Al Gore found himself buried under 6 feet of snow.

And as far as the snow clearing crews were concerned, Gore could remain buried.

While much of North America found itself buried under feet of white, the Oval Office in the White House found itself buried under feet of brown.

“My Depends runneth over,” senile old Joe whined.

Today was also the 110th Anniversary of the night the Titanic struck an iceburg.

Ukraine marked the anniversary by sinking the pride and flagship of the Russian Navy’s Black Sea fleet the guided-missile cruiser Moskva.

Meanwhile the charismatic genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was riding a bus.

His stomach started to churn when a repulsive uglo got on the bus.

However unlike many uglos, she went and sat at the back of the bus so Goatee wouldn’t have to look at her repulsive ugly face.

Later Goatee went to a office to get some paper work done and faxes sent.

He was out walking when the same repulsive uglo he had seen on the bus earlier was now walking straight towards him.

“What? Seeing your stupid ugly face twice in the same day? I’m making sure it doesn’t happen again,” Goatee beheaded the repulsive uglo and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Krampus the demon arrived being pulled in a one horse open sleigh through the blinding snowstorm.

“It’s almost Easter and it’s starting to look a lot like Christmas,” Krampus observed.

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Peter Cottontail (hopping down the bunny trail) collided on the icy snowy streets.

. . .

Meanwhile at the Vatican in Rome, satanic AntiPope Francis, as he had done on the island of Malta, was directing that all Crosses and Crucifixes be taken down so as not to offend Muslims.

Meanwhile on loudspeakers parked outside the Vatican, the voice of British MP Renfield R. Renfield could be heard reading aloud Canto 28 of Dante’s Inferno.

And Pope Francis was telling an aide that he was thinking of appointing the New Age astrology believing and witchcraft practicing Episcopalian priest Father Matthew Fox (who had been a Dominican priest until he had been investigated for his whacko beliefs by Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger the future Pope Benedict XVI) to be the new head of the Congregation For The Doctrine of the Faith.

It would be the new Unholy Grand Inquistor’s job to enforce the syncretistic beliefs of Jorge Mario Bergoglio’s new Church to be called Mystery Babylon The Mother of Harlots.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 14th
2022.

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October 13th 2018- Mystery Babylon, The Pope, The Saudi Crown Prince and The Vampiress Priestess of Baal

October 13, 2018 at 9:42 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

October 13th 2018- Mystery Babylon, The Pope, The Saudi Crown Prince and The Vampiress Priestess of Baal

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was having a conversation with a Church of England Exorcist Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds who was a constituent in Renfield’s Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds parliamentary constituency.

“I came across a couple of Bible passages last night that suddenly struck me as being related even though I had never considered them as being related before,” said Father Aidan, “but considering what’s happening in today’s times, it suddenly struck me that they are related.”

“Oh,” said Renfield as he dug into his roast beef and Yorkshire pudding with his knife and fork, “and what would those passages be and how do they relate to today’s times?”.

“Well,” Father Aidan answered, “the first one is from Matthew 18:6 which reads “But whoso offends one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.” That’s the first passage.”

“And what’s the other passage?” Renfield asked as he washed down his mashed potatoes and gravy with a quadruple whiskey 🥃.

“The other passage is from Revelation 18:21 which deals with the destruction of Mystery Babylon the Great Whore,” Father Aidan answered, “And a mighty angel took up a stone like a giant millstone and cast it into the sea, saying, Thus with violence shall that great City Babylon be thrown down, and shall be found no more at all.”

“And the relation?” Renfield ordered another quadruple whiskey from the waitress.

“Well the church that becomes Mystery Babylon does something that offends little ones and so the angel throws a millstone into the sea drowning that church,” Father Aidan noted.

“The Catholic Church under Pope Francis?” Renfield asked.

“Exactly,” Father Aidan nodded.

. . .

Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol was looking at the video someone had sent him filming Pope Francis opening the Youth Synod back on October 3rd earlier this month.

In his hands at the opening of the Synod, Pope Francis held what was supposed to be a Crucifix but it actually was a Witch’s Stang- an occult ritual wizarding staff used to represent the Horned God in witchcraft.

What, Whitstable wondered, was Francis doing holding a Witch’s Stang representing the horned god of witchcraft at the opening of the Youth Synod?

Here Pope Francis had covered up for pedophile priests and bishops who had molested children and now he was opening up a Youth Synod with a witching staff representing the Horned God.

He was definitely offending all the little ones who believed in Christ, Whitstable thought to himself.

. . .

Dr. Cadbury Rocher had gone to see his boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set about an order for Set Enterprises nanites that had just come in.

“What’s the problem?” Set asked.

“The problem,” Dr. Rocher explained, “is that this order came in from the government of Saudi Arabia 🇸🇦 and the nanites being asked for are those that can eat and totally destroy and remove all traces of a dead body.”

“And why should that be a problem?” Set asked as he dropped a living crocodile down his throat and ate it.

“Well if the Turks are telling the truth about the audio and video recordings showing Saudi secret police killing and dismembering the body of dissident Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi at the Saudi Consulate in Istanbul,” Dr. Rocher pointed out, “and if the Saudi government wants to use our company’s nanites to totally remove all traces of Khashoggi’s body and details of the sale become available to the European Union in Brussels and the British Trade Ministry in London, it could severely affect Set Enterprises’ ability to conduct business in Britain and Europe.”

“I see what you mean,” Set belched after digesting the crocodile, “You better not sell the nanites to the Saudi government then.”

An hour later DARPA’s Dr. Faustus Imhotep in Washington DC received a phone call from Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman about purchasing some of DARPA’s nanites.

. . .

Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal approached the Vatican Cardinal Samhain Salaman.

“You consummated a relationship with my astral twin Asherah,” she rubbed against Cardinal Salaman, “now you must consummate a relationship with me.”

Allatallahbel then went and lay down and beckoned Samhain Cardinal Salaman to come to her coffin and lay with her.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday October 13th
2018.

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Baphomet News Network

September 21, 2018 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Occult, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Baphomet News Network

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was picking up a news broadcast from Hell- the Baphomet News Network.

Baphomet News Announcer:

Apostle of the Antichrist Father James J. Martin SJ who was appointed to the Vatican’s Secretariat For Communications last year by Apostle of the Antichrist Pope Francis has been nominated for this year’s Baphomet Apostolic Evangelization Prize.

The winner will be announced on Halloween 🎃 and the award will be presented on the River Styx on November 11th- the 100th anniversary of the end of the First World War.

In other news, the Antichrist Cardinal Archbishop of Chicago Blaise Cupich has likewise been nominated for this year’s Baphomet Apostolic Evangelization Prize for saying that sexual molestation of children by priests is not as important an issue as “proper recycling to help the environment”.

Of course pedophile priest Father Richard McGrath, who suddenly retired last December as administrator of a Catholic High School in New Lennox, Illinois after naked pictures of boys was found on his cell phone, was granted permission by Antichrist Chicago Archbishop Cardinal Blaise Cupich to retire to a monastery in Chicago which was just steps away from Saint Thomas The Apostle Grade School.

No word yet on how Father McGrath’s penance is coming along.

Meanwhile it turns out that Archbishop Richard McCarrick who had to resign as a Cardinal for his protection of pedophile priests (his resignation brought personal heartbreak to Pope Francis) was instrumental in negotiating a breakthrough on the state of the Catholic Church in China 🇨🇳 with the Beijing Government of Chinese President Xi Jinping (who is probably the biggest satanic megalomaniac to govern China 🇨🇳 since the late Chairman Mao Tse-tung).

The agreement is a total sellout and surrender to the Christ hating totalitarian regime in Beijing who will now be the ones responsible for appointing all bishops for the Catholic Church in China 🇨🇳.

Pope Francis is said to be as pleased as punch about the upcoming agreement.

Back in February 2016, Archbishop McCarrick told The Global Times in an exclusive interview that “the similarities between Pope Francis and Xi Jinping are a special gift for the world.”

As such, Archbishop McCarrick is also nominated for this year’s Baphomet Apostolic Evangelization Prize.

Archbishop McCarrick also enjoyed cordial relations with Bishop Aloysius Jin of Shanghai a Marxist Jesuit priest.

California Rep. Nancy Pelosi served as go-between for the two men back in 2009.”

Michelangelo’s vision of the Baphomet News Network broadcast ended and the same vision that the Apostle John had on the Isle of Patmos about the woman known as Mystery Babylon suddenly appeared to him.

Meanwhile in the Vatican, Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal walked into Pope Francis’ bedroom wearing a blazing red scarlet evening dress and carrying a golden chalice overflowing with red liquid.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 21st
2018.

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