The Last Minutes of Don Chillinger

June 6, 2022 at 9:17 pm (Humour, Poetry) (, )

Mobster Don Chillinger with an admiring quartet of beautiful women

Mobster Don Chillinger; he had it all
Prohibition king of booze run from a Cleveland stall
Prohibition ended
His Rolls-Royce rearended
He left Ohio
Jilted Hawaii Five-O

Wound up in California
Where film stars are born – yeah
Started selling arms to the Japanese
So he could buy himself a huge deep freeze
As it was the ’30s, Pearl Harbor hadn’t happened yet
And Japan wished to wrap China in its Fascist net
But still FDR in the White House was concerned
And told J. Edgar Hoover who had just been de-wormed

So the trap was set
Hoover said, “You ain’t seen nothng yet”
Don Chillinger thought he had a plane to let
And desired to see a tequila sunset

Don Chillinger set out to the airport
Surrounded by fair maidens like a royal court

He walked towards the plane
Headed to New Spain
Now known as Mexico
The place he desired to go

The pilot in the plane called The Golden Eagle
Was dressed like a World War pilot goggle wearing beagle
He blew Chillinger away with the machine gun on the propeller
And Chillinger fell to the ground, his last words were “Tell her”
Tell her? Who? Which one of the fair ladies four?
We don’t know for Chillinger has gone through death’s door.

Hoover sitting in the back of his limousine
Definitely wasn’ looking clean
The sandwich he ate made him look a mess
And he wished he was wearing that one woman’s evening dress

J. Edgar Hoover wished he was wearing the evening dress of the woman in the far right of this photo

-A poem written by Christopher
Monday June 6th 2022

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Carson Cody Albion and The Beauty In The Hotel Room

May 1, 2022 at 9:50 pm (Detective story, Literature, Poetry) (, , , )

The Beauty In Carson Cody Albion’s Hotel Room

Carson Cody Albion Private Eye went to London town
And discovered London bridge wasn’t falling down
So he went back to his hotel and what he saw caused no frown
For on his bed was a beautiful woman in a very sexy gown

-A poem written by Christopher
Sunday Night May 1st 2022

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Lili Marleen At The Piano

November 30, 2021 at 9:44 pm (Poetry) (, , , )

Lili Marleen at the piano

It was approaching Christmas 1947
Thanksgiving was over
And the turkeys had been eaten
In those days turkeys didn’t sit
In the Oval Office
Like they do today.

LA Private Eye Carson Cody Albion
had headed north to San Francisco
It was a slight drizzle
As Albion wandered the streets
He saw a cocktail lounge
On the other side of where he stood
The Blue Pacific
It looked inviting

He crossed the street
And looked at the sign
Outside the cafe
It said
Lili Marleen singing here tonight.

Lili Marleen,
Albion lit a cigarette
And then blew smoke rings
And thought
Lili Marleen had been one of his favourite songs
Listening to on the radio
As America fought Hitler and Tojo
During the War Years of WWII.

It had originally been a First World War song
But brought back in this war
As Woodrow Wilson was shown to be wrong
For stating that the War of 1914-1918
Was the War To End All Wars

It was Vera Lynn
The woman called Yorkshire’s Rose
Who used to sing it

“Underneath the lantern
by the barrack gate
Darling I remember
The way you used to wait
‘Twas there that you whispered tenderly
That you loved me
You’d always be
My Lili of the lamplight
My own Lili Marlene…”

Carson Cody Albion walked into the bar
And there noticed a woman who was sitting atop the piano
Who presumably was Lili Marleen

“Hello, Mr. Albion,”
Lili Marleen smiled at him,
“I’m glad of all the cocktail lounges
in all the world
you chose to walk into this one”.

Albion smiled
He liked her welcoming demeanor
And her Humphrey Bogart Casablanca like reference
But most of all her welcoming demeanor

They danced together
Underneath the crystal globe on the ceiling
As the orchestra played
On this night in The Blue Pacific Lounge
She was his own Lili Marleen.

-A Carson Cody Albion poem
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 30th

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Nocturnal Silhouette

July 7, 2021 at 10:26 pm (Poetry) (, , )

Princess Anna Louise and her black winged horse Nocturnal Silhouette

Princess Anna Louise and her black winged horse Nocturnal Silhouette
Landed in the green meadows between forests
Anna Louise scanned the landscape with her eyes
While Nocturnal Silhouette stood proud and erect on his hind legs

Seeing nothing amiss, Anna Louise patted the head
of her aerodynamic equine and whispered,
“Let us go, my beloved Silhouette,
all is well in the land.
Today we are at peace.”

-A poem written by Christopher
Wednesday July 7th 2021.

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Daydreaming On A Lake

June 3, 2021 at 10:22 pm (Poetry) ()

She lay on the beach
Not far from her parents’ cabin
And viewed the wide expanse of lake
She noticed a cabin on the other side
Not far from the lake pavilion

In her mind she imagined the cabin
Was owned by the King of the Goblins
And that at dusk the Goblin King
had surfboarded across the lake
And stolen her baby brother

Her parents she imagined
Were in the nearby village
Having dinner
So it was up to her the tall Warrior Princess
To rescue her brother

To aid her in her quest
She found a magic piece of driftwood
Whose end lit up and cast dancing sparks of light
That lit up the night sky

A glowing butterfly
Beaming with luminescence
Lay on her fingers
Likewise guiding the way

A magic swan was on her right
Guiding her in the direction
of the Goblin King’s cabin
Not far from the pavilion

Through the tall reeds of the lake she strode
With her spark emitting piece of driftwood
Her glowing butterfly and companion swan
Her dress sparkled silvery
In the enchanted dusk of blue and purplish red colours

She entered the Goblin King’s cabin
“Bright light!” Bright light!”
When he saw the spark emitting
Piece of driftwood.

The glowing butterfly landed on his nose
Goblin King shrieked, “More bright light!”
And went and hid under his bed
In the dark

She put her baby brother
On the back of the swan
Who carried him back to her parents’ cabin
As she strode alongside

She opened her eyes
This would be a magical night she thought
A night where she’d be the Warrior Princess
Who would fight and triumph over the Goblin King

-A narrative poem written by Christopher
Thursday June 3rd 2021.

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Jack O’ Hare: A Day Well Spent

May 30, 2021 at 10:30 pm (Humour, Poetry) (, , , )

He was the famous bunny called Jack O’ Hare
He saw the day was clear, sunny and quite fair
So he hopped here, he hopped there
He hopped around everywhere.

He hopped to the cabbage patch
Left there without a scratch
Even though the guard dog leapt into action
Jack fled in time by just a fraction.

He went to the carrot garden
And shrugged, “I beg your pardon?”
When he was chased away by Mrs. Jones
Who stopped to take Selfies on her cell phones.

He then went to the valley of green peas
And avoided some giant on his knees
He ate to his heart’s content
And thought this day heaven sent.

-A Jack O’ Hare poem
written by Christopher
Sunday May 30th

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Alfred and The Queen of Senacia

May 19, 2021 at 10:44 pm (Poetry) (, )

“It’s a beautiful ring, Madame,”
Alfred the butler and valet
said to his mistress
The Queen of Senacia,
“But it’s not on your ring finger.”

“No, the Duke decided to give it as a gift,”
Said the Queen of Senacia.
“He decided not to marry me.”

Alfred looked up and gazed
Into the Queen’s eyes,
“I’m so sorry, Madame.”

The Queen returned his gaze
And said, “I’m not.”

Alfred bowed and said,
“What reason did he give for deciding
Not to marry you?”.

“He realized,” the Queen replied,
“Correctly I might add
That I did not love him
But instead loved another.
He wanted a wife
Who loved him
From the beginning.”

“I see,” Alfred gazed into the Queen’s eyes again,
“Well, I can see his viewpoint.
And if I may be so bold to ask,
Your Majesty,
Who is this other you love?”.

The Queen cast her eyes downward,
“That I cannot say, Alfred,
That I cannot say.
The laws of the land would forbid me
From marrying a man of such low position
As my father and mother would tell me
If they were still alive.”

“I’m so sorry, your Majesty,”
Alfred kissed her hand and bowed
And took his leave.

“As am I, Alfred,”
The Queen looked at her valet
As he walked on the path towards
The servants’ house,
“As am I,”
She sighed wistfully.

-A narrative poem
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 19th

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Michelangelo’s Dream of Bogey and Bacall

March 27, 2021 at 10:34 pm (Detective story, Entertainment, Film, History, Humour, Poetry, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a dream where he was playing Humphrey Bogart’s character of Philip Marlowe and having an encounter with Lauren Bacall.

After waking up, he decided to write a narrative poem about his dream.

He went over to his waterproof laptop to start writing but then decided to use his recently bought old vintage Underwood typewriter that had been custom refurbished to work underwater.

Grabbing some waterproof sheets of paper, he inserted them into his waterproof old vintage Underwood typewriter and started typing the poem.

Bogey and Bacall: Philip Marlowe’s Right On The Ball
A narrative poem
By Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster
Narrated in the First Person
By Philip Marlowe
(As played by Humphrey Bogart)

So I had come home after a hard day on the case
Rather difficult to try to sleep on a case of bourbon
I did do some work on that other case
Trying to find Max Spellbein’s younger daughter
Where do younger daughters hang out these days anyways?

I went down to Frankie’s Jazz Cafe
The Pink Flamingo Lounge
And even The Silverstar Nightclub
No sign of her.

I even went down to the bus depot and the shipyard
Her ship must have sailed when my bus came in
Does that make any sense?
Probably not.
Difficult to make sense
When one’s mind is adrift
In a sea of bourbon.

I lit a cigarette
Put it in my mouth
And made a silent prayer
That this combination of alcohol and flame
Didn’t send me up like a rocket on New Year’s Eve.

I thought I heard piano music coming from my piano
Which was strange
I rarely play the piano these days
Not since I got my fingers caught in that mousetrap
Under the altar of Saint Ignatius’ Church
When I said to the good priest,
“Pray it again, Sam.”

After sitting in my chair
Looking up at the ceiling
And watching the paint dry
It suddenly hit me
That I hadn’t painted this place in ages
So there was no drying paint to watch

That was definitely music I was hearing
So either someone was playing the piano
Or the angels were calling me

So I walked into the piano room
And there at the piano
Sat Max Spellbein’s elder daughter

Lauren Bacall: Playing the piano and singing, “When smoke gets in your eyes…”

I stood there
Inhaled the air from the open window
And realized I wouldn’t be spending the night alone.

-A narrative poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday March 27th

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Wilkie The Cat Western

September 11, 2020 at 10:54 pm (Comedy, Entertainment, Humour, Poetry, western) (, , , , , , , )

Announcer: The ghost of Orson Welles is now here to give you the introduction to the Wilkie the Cat western.

Welles (appears holding a spectral glass of red wine): Thank you Mr. Announcer. Wilkie the cat is a well known feline thespian and stage director best known for holding the record for the most number of plays
that closed after a perfomance of only one night on Broadway.
Now with the advent of the Chinese Communist Party Wuhan virus which the Ethiopian Communist head of the World Health Organization the non-medical Doctor Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus insists be called the Covid-19 virus, the lights are shut down all over Broadway and not just on Wilkie’s lights out plays.
Thus Wilkie with the love of his life Mitzie (a femme fatale Parisienne cat from Paris) has decided to go into filmmaking. And Wilkie is now making a Western where social distancing will be practiced.
The western now begins in the form of a poem:

Wilkie the Cat was out on the desert trail riding his horse
In a land where there was no Radio Shack or store called The Source
He came to a sign
posted on a cactus’ behind
that said Town Straight Ahead
He rode by a cowboy who looked to be dead
for his skull and his bones were all bleached white
and the fat vulture’s jeans seem to be fitting quite tight

Into the town Wilkie the Cat rode
And parked his horse alongside a fine looking toad
He decided to enter the saloon for a cold one
And entered looking like a son of a gun

The cat Dangerous Dan McGraw was up at the bar
Counting all his pennies from an old glass jar
Meanwhile on the saloon stage was Mitzie the star
singing about her home town of Paris a city quite far

Wilkie the Cat ordered a large glass of milk
And gazed at Mitzie’s legs in nylons of silk
Hey, Dangerous Dan shouted with a threatening glare
Stop looking at my girlfriend’s underwear

Mitzie turned and looked at the handsome catwhiskers stranger
And thought Wilkie must be one heck of a lost Texas ranger
She gave him a wink
which added to the stink
in Dangerous Dan’s countenance most foul
which seemed to be accentuated by the hooting of an owl

Step up in the street for a showdown
Dangerous Dan shouted with a huge downward frown
Wilkie said, I’ll be back after dealing with this clown

Into the street they went
With their holsters quite bent
And they stood face to face
After having walked many a pace

“Draw!” Cried the town crier
As he blew himself with a hair dryer
Pencil and sketch paper came out of opposing holsters
And each hand moved quickly like fast acting roller coasters

Dangerous Dan drew a stick man with a trash can
While Mitzie was on saloon steps fanning herself with a fan
Wilkie drew the Mona Lisa kicking Edvard Munch’s figure making him scream
While Dangerous Dan’s stick man came apart at the seam

My hero! Mitzie the Parisienne gave Wilkie the Cat a kiss
As Dangerous Dan retreated to an outhouse in search of bliss

Wlkie’s sketch was hung in the Wild West Saloon
The subject of an unrecorded Kenny Rogers tune
Wilkie The Cat and Mitzie rode off into the sunset
While the overweight vulture looked for new clothes to let.

-A Wilkie The Cat
narrative poem
written by Christopher
Friday September 11th

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The Duck Called Samuel Puddlington At The Wax Museum

September 6, 2020 at 10:18 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Poetry) (, , , , , )

There was a Saint Bernard drinking a barrel flask of doubling gin
This side of the town of Duddlington
When he was approached by the duck called Samuel Puddlington

“Good sir,” said the duck as he raised his hat
Which scared off an approaching ravenous cat
“I’m looking for the wax museum in town,
Am I on the right path? Or am I out of bound?”

Said the big furry giant, “Go two blocks yonder and make a left
Like the present Communist Pope of faith bereft,
There you will find the town’s wax museum
With washrooms closed so outside you’ll be peein’. ”

So Samuel Puddlington followed the big dog’s directions
And passed by the store Big Al’s Furniture Selections
There across the street was the wax museum
And following the dog’s advice, outside did his peein’.

He paid his entrance fee and entered the space
which was filled with men and women of varied time and place
There was Marie Antoinette who lost her head
and Robespierre whose Reign of Terror was dread
Until at Guillotine himself, he made his own bed

There was Cleopatra the Queen of The Nile
And Jekyll trying to hide Hyde in his nail file
And meeting his end on the banks of the Thames was Jack the Ripper
Who was swallowed by a heroic giant fish named Flipper

“That definitely explains why they never found Jack!”
Said Sam as he pulled a feather out of his back
Down the hall were comic book characters Richie Rich and Sad Sack
Plus Wolfman Larry Talbot leading the wolves in the pack

In contemporary times
As he jotted down rhymes
were Donald Trump with his silly looking toupee
And Joe Biden whose mind was lost on the way
While in the background, Stalin’s and Mao’s ghosts were at play.

At the end of the hall Lincoln sat in his Ford Theatre seat looking sad
For the play title author’s American cousin had gone mad
Neo-Nazi and Confederate vampire battled Bolshevik and Maoist
And meditating on the sidelines was Buddhist and Taoist

Lincoln’s last words heard by Mary Todd were
“We will visit the Holy Land and see those places
hallowed by the footsteps of the Savior”
like an empty tomb that once marked where a grave were
“There is no city on Earth I so much desire to see as Jerusalem”
Site of where Isaac was saved by the blood of the ram
And the world’s humanity was saved by the blood of the Lamb.

-A poem written by Christopher
Sunday September 6th

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