Jack O’ Hare and The Lovely Valley: A Poem
On the edge of the forest
as birds sang their chorus
a lonely jack rabbit did hoppily roam
He leapt through the valley
It was quite up his alley
’till he came to the edge of the fast flowing stream
In the background, the skylarks were singing
And on the hill, church bells were ringing
It was a symphony between heaven and nature
And Jack perked up his ears of very great stature
And hoped the poem’s readers would rhyme nate and state
As stats were damned lies according to Benjamin Disraeli
And the old man on the hill playing his ukulele
As the sun rose over valley and mountain
And Jack stopped to drink from the fountain
A beaver was building a home out of logs
And the effort was applauded by ribbiting of the frogs
Jack O’ Hare hopped contentedly on
making of this valley a home front lawn
it was for Jack a heavenly spot
where he avoided many a fox trot.
-A Jack O’ Hare poem
written by Christopher
Monday May 27th 2019.
Nice Work On The Trinity Case, Mr. Albion: A Poem
“Nice work on the Trinity case, Mr. Albion.”
They came to Hollywood by the dozens
In search of fame and fortune
Positive they’d be the next goddess of the silver screen
Girls from the mid-west, girls from the northeast, girls from the south,
Girls from Canada
and girls from Mexico.
Such a girl was Trinity Esperanza
From Mexico City
19, she’d come to Hollywood with stars in her eyes
A week later
She had disappeared
A woman from another country
disappeared?
Who cares was the attitude here
Her disappearance wasn’t even reported in the press here
Just another foreigner who disappeared
Carson Cody Albion Private Eye would not have known about it
Unless the girl’s grandmother hadn’t shown up in his office
“Please find Trinity,” She begged
As she emptied her purse on the table
And with all the money sitting there
Albion looked down at the table
And counted the money in his head
$37.42
“Mrs. Esperanza,” he poured himself another glass of bourbon,
“How much money do you have in your bank account?”
” $37.42″, she answered.
Albion looked at her,
Drank the glass of bourbon
Lit himself a cigarette
And blew smoke at the ceiling
Where the fan quickly dispersed it to the 4 corners of his world-
his office.
“Put your money away,” he told Mrs. Esperanza, “this one’s on the house.”
Like all cases involving disappeared girls and Hollywood
The answer involved sex slaves and lecherous Hollywood producers
For what lay behind the red moviehouse theatre curtains
and the silver screen
was not silver
And definitely not gold
Images of dead Presidents on paper was the currency
And a lot of it
That was the language of Hollywood
Behind the scenes
Carson Cody Albion found Trinity
A prostitution ring that catered to those who lived behind the pearly gates of Beverly Hills
Paradise to those who owned the place
But Hell for some of those who worked there
Albion found Trinity
And after negotiating with the producer
Trinity was freed.
The price?
The real Maltese Falcon from that film a few years back.
Turned out the producer was a big fan of movies made by rival studios.
Albion’s burglary skills came in handy
and not even Sherlock Holmes could have solved the case
Basil Rathbone had other roles to play
Of course no one in LA seemed to care that a young Mexican girl was found
Save when Albion delivered Trinity to Mrs. Esperanza
One customer in a barber shop reflected the thinking
in general
They ought to build a wall to keep those people out
Albion looked at the man from the barber chair where he sat
“Thank God,” Albion thought, “FDR sits in the Oval Office and not this man”.
One day Albion was wandering on the set of the movie Cover Girl
When Rita Hayworth of all people addressed him,
“Nice work on the Trinity case, Mr. Albion.”
So spoke the woman whose real name was Margarita Carmen Cansino.
And on this night
Carson Cody Albion sat in a bar
He decided to order a glass of wine for a change
Maybe it was time he showed a little class as an ex-girlfriend once said to him
“Class? What is it?” Albion asked himself as he lit a cigarette
He reached into his coat pocket to pay the bill
“Put your money away,” Julio the bartender said, “this one’s on the house.”
-A Private Eye Poem
written by Christopher
Friday February 22nd
2019.
The Eve of Saint Agnes 2019: Night of The Super Wolf Blood Moon: A Poem
Madeleine undressing, The Eve of St. Agnes painted by John Everett Millais circa 1863 based on John Keats’ 1819 poem The Eve of St. Agnes
‘Twas the Eve of Saint Agnes
and in a Baphomet worshipping Jesuit chapel
in Washington DC
Strange creatures were stirring
led by an Illuminati banker Lord L of London
who was wearing a mask of Poe’s The Raven
The Greco-Egyptian gnostic goddess Sophia was dressed
as a statue of her mother Pallas Athena
But wasn’t allowing Lord L to sit on her head
The demons Baal and Baphomet sat atop Pope Francis style witches’ Stang style Crucifixes awaiting sacrifices to them
Two victims- a 12-year-old girl named Agnes who would be sacrificed to Baal who thrived on child sacrifices
And a 50-year-old Welsh werewolf Magog Rhys Petley (former British Labour MP) securely bound (as it was the night of a full moon) who would be sacrificed to Baphomet the half-human half-goat half-male half-female entity (who was Sophia’s son/daughter)
Performing the sacrifice would be Semiramis the former Queen of Babylon
Seeing as how Saint Agnes’ symbol was the lamb
and Magog Rhys Petley’s symbol was the wolf
The group was giving a perverted twist to Isaiah’s prophecy about the wolf shall lie down with the lamb
Semiramis wearing a long red dress raised the knife
when the full moon turned blood red
ready to bring it down on both
when the blood red moon turned to darkness
Just then the door of the chapel opened
And two creatures entered
One was a white wolf with blue eyes
He strolled on the right down the center of the chapel
The other was a black jaguar with silver eyes
He strolled down the left of the chapel
They went and stood on either side of Semiramis
Lord L blinked behind his raven mask
He didn’t recall this being part of the script
A tall blonde man wearing a fedora hat and Philip Marlowe
style private eye trench coat entered the chapel
Wearing a cross bow on his back
Standing at the front of the chapel
he removed a cross bow and poisoned arrow and fired at Lord L
“Shit, I am slain” Lord L remarked before falling over subsequently dead
“A Lenny Bruce style Nixon White House style epithet added to Polonius’ last words spoken in the play Hamlet” the crossbow slayer who was Dracul Van Helsing remarked.
The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec had arrived on the scene
and had tied up and bound Semiramis the Queen of Babylon
“Wow, my Anne Rice A. N. Roquelaure Sleeping Beauty BDSM fantasies are coming true,” Dracul remarked upon seeing this
Renfield R. Renfield let fire with a water cannon
with Holy Water blessed by the former Pope Benedict XVI
At the demons Baal and Baphomet
sending them shrieking outside the chapel
Soon the spectators fled
including a Democratic Congresswoman from California
and a Democratic Senator from New York
who were dressed as the couple
in the 1930 Grant Wood painting American Gothic
Semiramis before succumbing to a massive tantric orgasm
Brought about by the excitement of the ropes and the handcuffs
touching her skin
Thought she recognized Dracul Van Helsing
“He must be a time traveller,” Semiramis thought to herself,
“He’s the spitting image of the man who rescued me from the hands of Jack the Ripper in London in the autumn of 1888.”
Semiramis in the arms of Jack the Ripper as a raven watches
and before a white wolf and a black jaguar and a vampire slayer spring in for the attack
The Clock of Thoth: A Poem
Tefna listening to the sound of the Clock of Thoth tick.
The young woman called Tefna
was in her apartment bedroom
listening to the sound of
the Clock of Thoth tick
A clock designed by her father
A master clock maker
At the stroke and bong of each hour
Two figures would come out
The first was Thoth
The ibis headed ancient Egyptian god
Of the moon, magic and writing
And of course the Egyptian god who
was the recorder of time
The other figure was an Egyptian Pharaoh
who bore the likeness of the young
Actor/Director Orson Welles
The year was 1945
The date was August 6th
Feast of the Transfiguration
On the Church calendar
When Christ showed his Divine Deity
To his Apostles Peter, James and John
Tefna awaited news on what would become of her fiance
a sailor in the U.S. Navy still involved in the War In The Pacific
against Japan
Thor’s lightning bolt insigna warriors in Germany
had surrendered months earlier
but no word yet on those who fought for the ancient gods of Japan
A young American scientist J. Robert Oppenheimer
was seeking to become the Hindu god Shiva
The destroyer and transformer of worlds
But Tefna was unaware of him and his plans
And what they could possibly mean for her
As she listened to the ticking of the Clock of Thoth
On the wall
Tick-tock! Tick-tock!
As she always did at this same time every night
Before she went to bed
In the apartment next door
Hera the divine goddess queen of the Olympians
awaited the report of an immortal private eye
Carson Cody Albion
The Greek goddess Hera- that’s Juno to the ancient Romans!
She had suspected her husband Zeus
was getting it on with the modern goddesses
of the silver screen in Hollywood
The fact that she had heard him talking on the phone
seeking to borrow swan and bull costumes
from studio costume departments
only added to her suspicions.
In the apartment on the other side of Tefna
sat Hestia the Greek goddess of hearth and home
Hestia suspected that hearth and home would come to be neglected in America following the war
As both men and women followed Mammon
the ancient Babylonian god of banking and commerce
Who had helped America defeat Thor’s modern worshippers
All these things were unfolding in the building around Tefna
As she listened to the sound of the Clock of Thoth
tick on the wall
Tick-tock! Tick-tock! went the Clock of Thoth on the wall
As Tefna listened.
The Greek goddess Athena was there in black and white
on the silver screen
in the old repertory movie theatre
in West Hollywood
on January 14th
when Dracul Van Helsing
entered the theatre
and entered the screen
and then entered Athena
to sample hidden portals of wisdom
In the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London
Dashwood Forrest looked at the painting
of Demeter
The Greek goddess of fields, crops and agriculture
looking down on a field of 19th Century French peasant women
Bringing in the sheaves for harvest
Looking at the painting
Dashwood Forrest was shocked to see and hear
Demeter speak to the French women,
What sort of powerful magician could seduce my Persephone
away from her husband
As Athena found tantric sex to be a tantalizing experience
On the silver screen in a West Hollywood repertory theatre
actress Akira Lane was showing a robotics maker
fresh from a technology show in Las Vegas
what wonders old technology could do
when blended with ancient magic
As an Irish Jewish science-fiction writer
George Finneganburg
hastily took notes
Meanwhile in a London casino
Former British Labour MP
The Welsh werewolf Magog Rhys Petley
(whose seat was now held by
British Transhumanist MP
Welsh vampiress Morgana)
walked in on an unexpected orgy
taking place on a casino table
The casino’s kinky quartet looked at him, smiled
and advised him not to miss Lord L’s
Super Wolf Blood Moon Party
in Washington DC
next Sunday night
with the brunette in short skirt and black silk fishnet pantyhose
Sitting atop the casino table
telling him not to miss it for the world
Renfield R. Renfield MP
had just finished writing his speech to move
a motion of non-confidence in Theresa May’s government
following the Brexit vote in the Westminster Parliament tomorrow
When suddenly he walked out into his Parliamentary office
waiting room
Where the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh
was waiting for him
Causing Renfield to burst the zipper on his trousers
When he saw her
He would have to buy himself a new suit
to deliver the speech in Parliament tomorrow
It was a moonlit night in Port Elizabeth South Africa
As the great South African artist SAREJESS
sat in the middle of the street with his easel and canvas
and paintbrush and paints
(praying that no motorists would be driving down the street this late at night to abruptly and undoubtedly painfully put an end to his lunar nocturnal painting expedition)
and painted what he saw
He would paint this quiet tranquil scene
before the ghost of a brontosaurus showed up
and walked across the street
And before the ghost ship of THE ghost ship
The Flying Dutchman
appeared on the surface of the water
on the horizon in the distance
As he sat there painting the canvas,
he wondered whether his wife and family were right
to think he was crazy
And there at one moment in time
somewhere in time
sat Tefna
always anxiously sitting on the bed
always anxiously awaiting for the phone to ring
to bring her news of her love
Same place
Same time
Night after night
but no sound of a phone ringing
Only the sound of the Clock of Thoth ticking
Tick-tock! Tick-tock!
-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 14th
2019.
The Mermaid Thessalonike of Macedon In New Orleans: A Carson Albion Private Eye Poem
Out on the bayou
in an old cabin built on stilts in the water
was where Carson Cody Albion Private Eye
had his New Orleans private eye’s office
On this New Year’s Day in 1934
Albion had been visited by a white haired
and white bearded gentlemen
who claimed to be the Greek god Zeus
New Orleans was full of such nuts
Zeus was a client of the voodoo High Priestess
Mammy Del Rey
The beautiful and lovely Mammy Del Rey had been reading lizard entrails
for the said gentleman who said he was Zeus
Entrails to determine the whereabouts of the immortal mermaid
Thessalonike of Macedon (who was the half-sister of Alexander the Great)
said to be currently visiting the City of New Orleans
Unfortunately for Mammy and for Zeus
The Voodoo Priest next door
Grandpa Doc Duvalier
performed what turned out to be a successful Resurrection From The Dead spell
as the lizard entrails suddenly got up and walked away from Mammy Del Rey’s ashtray
and dived overboard from Mammy’s house boat cabin into the bayou below
where they were promptly swallowed by a fish
Thus the Mystery of Thessalonike’s whereabouts were now as great a mystery
as they were before Mammy started reading the entrails
So Mammy brought Zeus to Carson Cody Albion Private Eye for help
Mammy had picked up an image from the lizard entrails
prior to their unfortunate resurrection
Mammy drew an image in the sand for Albion
(Albion had a sandbox on his bayou house on stilts
which Louisiana Governor and now U.S. Senator Huey Long
used to play in
whenever he visited Carson Albion’s office)
Albion recognized the image as being the symbol on the matchbooks
given to smoking customers down at Poseidon’s Trident Jazz Club
rather than just giving this info directly to Zeus
The private eye said he’d take the case
and pocketed a fee from Zeus (Albion hoped that Greek drachmas
would be worth a lot in U.S. currency)
After giving Zeus a close-up view of the bayou
(by pushing him overboard)
and then making out with the lovely Voodoo High Priestess Mammy Del Rey
on his waterbed (this early prototype of the popular 1970s bedroom phenomenon had been invented by his good friend Nikola Tesla)
He then headed down to the Poseidon’s Trident Jazz Club
In his private eye trenchcoat pocket he carried a crystal ball snow globe
(containing the image of Thessalonike of Macedon) that had been given him by Mammy Del Rey
Thus he recognized the immortal mermaid half-sister of Alexander The Great right away
The immortal mermaid Thessalonike of Macedon (who was the half-sister of Alexander the Great) in a New Orleans jazz nightclub back in 1934.
The rare colour photo was taken with a little known instant photo colour camera the Teslatroid (the colour equivalent of the first black and white Polaroid cameras that were invented by Edwin Land 14 years later) invented by Nikola Tesla.
Any resemblance between the mermaid Thessalonike of Macedon at this New Year’s Day party in 1934 and singer Taylor Swift at her New Year’s Day party in 2019 is purely coincdental.
Surely thereafter Thessalonike was set upon by the mysterious Jaguar Woman of New Orleans
(a woman who was able to shapeshift into a Black Jaguar)
The woman who called herself Semiramis (like the legendary Ho Queen of Babylon) addressed the woman as Mommy Dearest before knocking her to the floor
In the ensuing fish-cat fight that followed
Semiramis’s dress came apart at the seams.
Semiramis: her dress came apart at the seams when she cried Mommy Dearest
To be continued.
-A narrative poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 1st
2019.
The Duck Called Samuel Puddlington At Lake Louise: A Poem
He was the duck they called Samuel Puddlington
His girlfriend said he left things muddlington
since he often danced with other women
of the human variety at great estates while drinking gin gin
said she, “I find this neither fowl nor fair”
and left him for a strand of monkey hair
that had fallen from the American Trumpster’s toupee
that disgraced Scots German Donald who said there would be Hell to pay
unless Congress caved in and built him a wall
Sam took the news well and went to another grand ball
When he had finished dancing up a storm
like John Travolta with an itchy tape worm
his frog and rabbit friend suggested they go to Canada
and ski while wearing a bandana
So they headed way out west to beautiful Lake Louise
the gem of the Blue Canadian Rockies
They skiied here
They skiied there
and did so without underwear
but seeing as how they were animals no one minded
the same not the case for pot smoking Justin Trudeau who was fined-ed
for displaying nudity in public
while ho-hoing like Saint Nick
Later while having dinner at the Chateau Lake Louise
his rabbit and frog friend both started to sneeze
perhaps long underwear they should have worn
for they came down with colds and went to bed forlorn
Sam stayed in the dining room and finished his dinner
in dancing, skiing and eating he was always a winner
He noticed a gent had left his briefcase on a table
Being curious like oxen in a Nativity stable
He went over and took a peek
while finishing his soup cockaleek
They were the files of Carson Cody Albion Private Eye
a legendary immortal shamus detective guy
Sam helped himself to a gravy dipped French fry
Inside was an old black and white photo
black and white like Kansas for Toto
before reaching the colourful land of Oz
A land far away from reindeer and Santa Claus
The photo was of the legendary Jaguar Woman of New Orleans
a shapeshifting cat woman whose dress came apart at the seams
On a note next to the photo, Albion had carefully written
in writing so small, it could easily be flea bitten
if fleas would ever eat someone else’s words
but such thinking is for the birds
thought Sam like a duck out of water
as he watched bourbon getting the best of a drunken otter
Albion had written “The Jaguar Queen of New Orleans
whose dress in a 1930s jazz club came apart at the seams
is none other than Semiramis the legendary Queen of Babylon”
and Samuel Puddlington thought, What the Heck is going on
but that, dear reader, a tale to be told in a future New Year dawn
-A poem written by Christopher
Sunday December 30th
2018.
Reblog of The Duck Called Samuel Puddlington: A Poem
A poem about a duck called Samuel Puddlington that I wrote over a year ago.
The duck called Samuel Puddlington was going to the grand ball
wearing a spiffy bow tie made him look 6 feet tall
It was going to be a grand event
attended by the Duchess of Kent
And so the duck waddled his way into the limousine
and sat next to a froggy green
“Ribbit! Ribbit!” said the frog
as he sat on a bump on a log.
“Rabbit! Rabbit!” said the big-eared hare
as he munched on a carrot orange and fair.
The limo pulled into the grounds of Mossdale Hall
packed with limos, the cars were at a crawl
Samuel Puddlington got out of the car
and inquired, “Good man, do they have a bar?”.
“Of course, you ninny,” said the chauffeur
while the rabbit stopped to wash his fur.
To the house the three went,
rabbit, frog and ducky gent
They knocked on the big front door
on…
View original post 248 more words
Cthulhu and Goat Krampus On The Feast of Stephen: A Gothic Cyberhorror Carol
(to be sung to the tune of Good King Wenceslas the 1853 Christmastide carol written by John Mason Neale)
Cthulhu and goat Krampus on the Feast of Stephen
Donald Trump destroyed young girl’s belief in Santa dreamin’
Now Saint Nick’s dark sidekick will to Trump be cruel
And make minced meat out of the toupee wearing fool
Krampus now coming for Donald Trump
Donald Trump will wreck dreams and dreamers in effort to build a wall
to make up for the fact that his dick is really small
Into the demon goat’s bag went he with his tweets a’screamin’
he’ll be taken to a real hot place where all the walls are steamin’
No hope of escape for him you see
Francis wrong and right is Dante
while Hillary switches her broomstick for a donkey
As for Cthulhu that Great Old One, he fell in love with Riana
Indonesian ghost magician who performed for Cowell’s talent panorama
Now her country came under atack by that old Anak Krakatoa
A tsunami created when that old Anakim giant’s volcano overfloweth
Now Cthulhu is really pissed and cannot stand it much longer
He will wrestle with that anakim to see which one is stronger
Cthulhu will do battle with that evil offspring of Nephilim the Anak Krakatau in vengeance for the deaths of the Sacred Riana’s countrymen and women
So Donald Trump now roasts in Hell as old Cerberus rings a bell
and Pavlov drools expecting food in that place where dead do dwell
Hades’ realm has grown quite swell as its global warming times excel
Sacred Riana waits with her ghosts possessing
to see which giant will wind up as salad dressing
The Sacred Riana awaits the outcome of the battle between Cthulhu and the Anak Krakatau
-A Gothic Cyberhorror Carol,
Supernatural Narrative Poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
On The Feast of Stephen
Wednesday December 26th
2018.
Ghost Ship: The Flying Dutchman Sails On and On
On a moonlit night the sky’s spotlight
casts its rays down on tonight’s performer
a sailing ship rising out of the mist
in a globe theatre where sea and sky do meet
From underneath the water Poseidon’s hand
seems to rise from below the depths
lifting the old Dutchman like a pearl of great price
as an offering and a gift to Diana’s lantern in the night sky
Oh ship of mighty oak and sturdy deck and towering masts
what a price thou hast paid
for having for a master one Captain Hendrick Van der Decken
He who would make league and sup with the Devil
to have the fastest ship that would sail to the East Indies and back
And so there at the Cape of Good Hope
ship, master and crew would lose all hope
as Captain Hendrick stood on deck at the wheel
and cursed the wind for holding him back
but this was no wind of natural origin
This was the lady Moriah
better known as the Devil’s daughter Lilith
She the angel who directed the windstorm
As Abraham was about to sacrifice his son
on the mountain that she’d often ascend and descend
The mount where she communicated with a thousand points of light
Those gods worshipped by many nations who chose to follow her father
originally the supreme lightbearer Lucifer who rebelled against the Creator of the Cosmos
And so that mount would play at the center of time
She the angel who directed the whirlwind
causing a son who led a nation founded by Freemasons and Rosicrucians to pose the question
What angel in the whirlwind directs this storm?
The same angel that would raise a desert storm
and cause her own ancient homeland to fall under the control
of Sir Francis Bacon’s prophecied New Atlantis
that lay far beyond mighty Hercules’ pillars
A son that asked What angel in the whirlwind directs this storm?
in his inaugural speech
while his father who led the same New Atlantis
talked of communing with a thousand points of light
The father who has now gone to his reward
When shall the thousand points of light again gather on Moriah?
For after the ram saved Abraham’s son from sacrifice
The mount was to become sacred to the cosmos’ Creator
But alas foolish is man! And full of folly!
For the wisest among men chose to have 700 wives and 300 concubines
And in building a Temple to the Cosmos’ Creator
would eventually allow his women to erect statues to their nations’ gods
So that once again the thousand points of light (Lucifer’s merry band)
would seek to stand toe to toe and shoulder to shoulder with the Ultimate Divine
And now a homicidal crown prince arises out of the Arabian desert
A secret follower after strange gods
(Like many men who led the New Atlantis beyond Hercules’ pillars)
and has agreed in backdoor channels with the Nation of Israel
to rebuild Solomon’s Temple on Mount Moriah
provided that the thousand points of light once again
stand on equal ground and shoulder to shoulder with the Cosmos’ Creator
Solomon (and its Arabic equivalent Suleiman) are both rooted in shalom/salaam meaning peace
And the homicidal crown prince is the son of Salman (of the same root as Solomon/Suleiman but is a separate name meaning safe)
“For when they shall say, Peace and safety, then sudden destruction cometh upon them…” (I Thessalonians 5:3)
Those who summon the first of a thousand points of light…
In 1951, a movie was made about the Flying Dutchman
The story of a woman named Pandora who sacrificed herself
to free the Dutchman from his curse
Now the Dutchman’s curse
caused by his cursing the wind
who was the Lady Moriah
(Remember the origins of the song They Call The Wind Maria)
Lilith the Devil’s Daughter
the angel in the whirlwind who directed this storm
and communed with the thousand points of light
That curse will soon end
Captain Hendrick and his ship
The Flying Dutchman will sail on and on
Far past the Cape of Good Hope
and beyond
For the thousand points of light will once again descend
On Mount Moriah
to claim equality with and stand shoulder to shoulder
and toe to toe with the Creator of the Cosmos
until the arrival of he
“Who opposeth and exalteth himself above all that is called God, or that is worshipped; so that he as God sitteth in the Temple of God, shewing himself that he is God.”
So the ending of the Dutchman’s troubles
is the beginning of the apotheosis of humanity’s
The Dutchman’s gain is humanity’s loss.
Pandora: The woman who saved the Flying Dutchman
Named after the woman who, in classical Greek mythology, opened up a box of troubles for all mankind as good Hope is left behind.
-A supernatural narrative poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday December 19th
2018.
Wilkie The Cat As Count Dracula: A Halloween Theatrical Poem
Narrator:
Gather around, all ye folks,
If you’re Canadian, watch your tokes,
In this theatre, pot is for peeing and not for smokes.
Our story begins here on Broadway
where Donald Trump sought starlets to lay
before Vladimir Putin turned him gay
Oprah Winfrey (as a transgendered Othello) :
Oh where, oh where is Desdemona?
I lie here in bed making many a moana
but I hear no Desdemona a groana.
Narrator:
Ms. Winfrey, you’re in the wrong theatre
this is what happens when you drink too much beera
The LGBTQ production of Othello is next door
please watch those Jesuit condoms on the floor
as from this theatre to that, you kindly pass
while Pope Francis’ order celebrates a Baphomet Mass
Oprah:
Oh damn, oh damn,
so much for a grand slam,
Roseanne Barr plays a transgendered Iago
while Donald Trump calls Robert Mueller a fago.
Narrator:
And now Oprah is moving her ass
as from this theatre to that, she kindly does pass
And now we shall begin our own theatrical tale
as Greenpeace activist encounters a methane gas producing carbon emissions whale
caused by Jefferey the otter’s cooked extra spicy pork and beans tipping the scale
And the good ship Demeter crashes
as Mina Harker bats her eyelashes
for the methane gas producing whale has sunk the ship
while Greenpeace activist takes a Justin Trudeau inspired trip
And Count Dracula (played by Wilkie the Cat) swims ashore
while his coffin is carried by a yarmulke wearing rabbi wild boar
it’s a good thing the boar is no porcine Hannibal Lecter
otherwise his culinary tastes would violate the Mosaic laws inspector
I forgot to mention that Mitzi la feline actress Parisienne plays Mina Harker
as Dr. Jack Seward’s asylum patient Renfield eats Peter Parker
Spiderman is now gone
a marvel of a swan song
Lackey of Christopher Lee has triumphed over a Lee named Stan
as Antifa takes a statue of Robert E. into the can
The Confederate military hero
is to the political left a great big zero
even though he freed his own slaves long before did Ulysses S. Grant
but this is all ignored in a New York Times rant
Dracula swims ashore near Whitby Abbey
where Canterbury’s ex-ArchDruid Rowan Williams looks crabby
he should have had the lobster flambe instead of crabs a l’amour
given him while dallying with a young French paramour
And Jonathan Harker (played by Kelsey Grammer) watches in horror
as Dracula seduces his sweet love Lenore
oops! – wrong script! – Poe’s The Raven is the performance for tomorrow night
as this Wilkie production of Dracula shuts down this theatre’s marquee light
As Dr. Abraham Van Helsing played by David Hyde Pierce
moves in to collect Dracula’s Transylvanian government tax arrears
he stabs the vampiric nobleman through the heart
as the carbon emissions whale in the sea lets out one last fart.
Both Greenpeace activist and Count Dracula are now dead
The janitor will have to wipe the spot where Wilkie has bled
for a real stake was mistakenly used instead of a prop
the hazards of hiring for a prop hand a drunken sop.
-A Wilkie The Cat poem
written by Christopher
Saturday October 27th
2018.
Desdemona’s Death Scene by Dante Gabriel Rosetti
A scene from a 19th Century British production of William Shakespeare’s Othello
very different from an early 21st Century American production of Othello
