A Renfieldian Day- August 5th 2021

August 5, 2021 at 10:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield got out of bed.

He reached for a glass of orange juice left for him on his dresser by Athelstan the house butler and valet.

He sipped the orange juice and looked out the window of his 2nd floor bedroom.

Rameses the Estate grounds keeper was busy gathering up the remains of various agents from the governments of the world who had sought to attack the estate to either kidnap or kill Renfield.

They were immediately set upon by and torn to pieces by Nefertiti Galore the Set Estate’s fierce guard cat.

Cthulhu the 100 metres tall giant dragon, octopus and human hybrid (first talked about in H.P. Lovecraft’s short stories) could be seen limping away with one of his giant wings half ripped off and one of his giant tentacles severed while the tiny Siamese cat angrily spat at him.

Renfield then took a look at his smart phone and read his notes.

Juliette Kayyem who had been Assistant Secretary of State For Homeland Security under Barack Obama had called for the Biden Administration to put all unvaccinated people on a no fly list.

Renfield then recorded and uploaded a video in which he publicly called for the assassination of Juliette Kayyem.

Canada’s aesthetically facially challenged Federal Health Minister Pat Hadju (who would immediately lose her head upon meeting Pan Goatee) had written a letter in which she had objected to the province of Alberta’s lifting of all remaining Covid restrictions.

Such was not in line with the New World Order an evil djinn (who found himself momentarily bound in servitude to George Soros, Bill Gates and World Economic Forum Chairman Klaus Schwab for the past decade and whose servitude would last another decade more) told Ms. Hadju and her boss Old Blackface himself Justin Trudeau.

Renfield went to the part in Klaus Schwab’s book The Fourth Industrial Revolution where the Neo-Hitlerian ubermensch technocrat had called for a humanity which would be combined “biologically, spiritually and technologically as one”.

Taking the vaccine was of course the first step in this process.

Renfield issued a statement in which he called Pat Hadju a Neo-Bolshevik Communist and an Apostle of The Antichrist.

Renfield then put the finishing touches on another video that he had been working on the past few days.

He then did some hacking and put the video complete with sound on to the large video billboard present in New York City’s Times Square.

The video started with World Economic Forum Chairman Klaus Schwab dressed in the uniform of a Nazi SS officer saying, “Ve have vays of making you take the vaccine.”

The video then switched to a shot of Adolf Hitler reviewing a group of Nazi SS troops at a Nuremberg rally of the 1930s.

It then showed a group of Nazi SS soldiers parading.

Three of the goosestepping soldiers in front bore the faces of Joe Biden, New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio and New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo.

The video then showed Nazi Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels speaking.

Soon interspersed on Goebbels’ face was the face of CNN’s whining snivelling sodomite the appropriately last named Don Lemon.

The sour fruit had recently said that unvaccinated people should not be allowed to work or buy groceries.

The ghost of Orson Welles then appeared with a spectral glass of spectral red wine.

Said Welles, “Adolf Hitler said it almost a century ago, “We will establish no Reich before its time.”

Bill Gates appears with a smile and turns over an hour glass, “It’s time.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 5th
2021.

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Bill Gates Holds Great Reset Livestream Virtual Press Conference

December 2, 2020 at 11:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Billionaire Bill Gates, who suffered from the delusion that just because he was a multi-billionaire that this gave him the right to control other people’s lives, was holding a livestream virtual press conference on the topic of the Great Reset (something that had been dismissed as “conspiracy theory” last month by Canada’s brainless Prime Minister Justin Trudeau even though people like George Soros, Gates and his evil wife Melinda, Pope Francis’ leading economic advisor Jeffrey Sachs and World Economic Forum Chairman Klaus Schwab openly talk about a global Great Reset in public to say nothing of the subject having been a cover story for a recent issue of TIME Magazine).

Gates, who as a pimply faced nerdy geek who dreamed of losing his virginity (which happened once he got his first million) had read Isaac Asimov’s Foundation Trilogy and filled him with the dream to someday micromanage the lives of every single person living on the planet.

Gates in marrying his evil wife Melinda (who made the Shakespearian Lady MacBeth look like Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta by comparison) finally got the impetus to go out and fulfill his evil mad scientist dreams.

Melinda Gates was supposed to join her husband Bill for today’s livestream virtual press conference but the face cream she used (made with products that were the byproducts of satanic sacrifices) had caused her face to break out in repulsive looking blotches.

Ms. Gates had no desire to attend the press conference looking like Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer.

Gates took questions from reporters all over the world.

One reporter, who had a Groucho Marx nose, moustache and glasses but a very unusual looking mop of hair on his head, identified himself before asking a question.

“I’m Ovid Nazal Schwab for the World Economic Forum Daily Agricultural Fertilizer,” the reporter introduced himself.

“I don’t believe I’ve ever heard of the World Economic Forum Daily Agricultural Fertilizer.” Gates seemed perplexed.

“Really?” Ovid Nazal Schwab’s eyes blinked causing a q-tip to fall out of his left nostril, “The World Economic Forum Daily Agricultural Fertilizer has been around for as long as the World Economic Forum has.”

“So what is your question?” Gates took a sip from his can of Bela Lugosi Atomic Superman Tranhsumanist Revitalizing Soda.

“I have a 2-part question,” World Economic Forum Daily Agricultural Fertilizer reporter Ovid Nazal Schwab adjusted the Groucho Marx glasses on his Groucho Marx nose, “How many times did you visit Jeffrey Epstein’s swank New York City townhouse mansion? And how many times did you visit Jeffrey Epstein’s Lesser St. James Virgin Island?”.

“What? How dare you ask me that question?” Gates turned apoplectic with rage, “Get that man.”

New World Order commandos came crashing through the window of the “reporter’s” room causing the Groucho Marx nose, moustache and glasses to fall off his face as well as the unusual looking mop of hair (that was taken from the top of a broom mop) to fall off his head revealing one Renfield R. Renfield MP in the British Parliament.

The commandos were then set upon by Nefertiti Galore the estate guard cat for the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s vast colossal West London Estate who promptly ripped them all to shreds with her claws.


This woman is sending her pet dragon to search and destroy all those who visited Jeffrey Epstein’s Lesser St. James Virgin Island.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday December 2nd
2020.

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Renfield R. Renfield vs. Australia’s Victoria State Dictator Daniel Andrews

September 23, 2020 at 9:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Australia’s Victoria state had just granted the police in that state the power to arrest people who write and also post “conspiracy theories on social media”.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had recently described Daniels as “a jackass who has really let power get to his braying head”.

Andrews was getting sick of Renfield making fun of him (just like Hitler got sick of Churchill making fun of him).

He was also angry at Renfield for getting an invisible 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit to inject a serum in his buttocks which gave him an excruciatingly painful case of hemorrhoids.

So under this new law, Andrews thought this entitled him to arrest people beyond the borders of Victoria state.

Even beyond the borders of Australia itself.

As such, he sent a bunch of Melbourne police commandos to Britain to arrest Renfield.

The Melbourne police commandos made a colossal blundering error when they tried to arrest Renfield at the estate mansion of the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

Set’s estate guard cat Nefertiti Galore set upon the Melbourne police commandos and ripped them to shreds with her claws.

The pieces of the commandos were gathered up by the Set Estate’s live action garden gnomes and placed in a wastepaper basket.

Renfield had the wastepaper basket with the pieces of the commandos inside couriered back to Melbourne, Australia addressed to:
Victoria’s State Dictator Daniel Andrews, Melbourne, Australia.

Inside Renfield had left a personal note for Andrews,

“Your Melbourne police commandos aren’t so tough as they were done in by a London pussy. This really doesn’t say much for them or for you.”

He signed it,

“Yours respectfuly,
Renfield R. Renfield.”

. . .

Meanwhile at Melbourne Police Headquarters in the Australian Victoria state capital, the ghosts of the Nazi SS’s Heinrich Himmler and the Soviet NKVD’s Laventriy Beria had been granted a temporary dispensational release from their rotating barbeque spits down in Tartarus at Victoria state dictator Daniel Andrews’ request (he had to bribe Hades with a koala bear fur skin rug as the chthonic deity did not have one of those fur skin rugs in his collection) in order to give Melbourne police some great tips on how to violate civil rights and human rights and how to impose a martial law lockdown in the state in the most brutal manner possible.

Himmler’s ghost and Beria’s ghost had been giving these seminars to the Melbourne Police Department ever since Victoria state dictator Daniel Andrews announced the martial law style lockdown in early August.

. . .

Meanwhile in the U.S., the mainstream Marxist CNN was heaping lavish praise on Victoria state dictator Daniel Andrews and his martial law style lockdown calling it a “model for the U.S.”.

It will certainly become the model for the U.S. if the Biden-Harris ticket wins in November.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 23rd
2020.

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Yaldabaoth’s Vision On His Way To The Big Apple

March 26, 2020 at 10:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, magic, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Yaldabaoth’s Vision On His Way To The Big Apple

Athelstan the butler and valet to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was having a conversation with British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

Both men were 6 meters away from one another so they wouldn’t be shot by killer drones recently commandeered by WHO (the World Health Organization) for those who violated the world body’s social distancing rules.

Athelstan was also wearing a face mask.

Although whether this was because he feared getting the Coronavirus or because he had just cleaned out the kitty litter box belonging to Nefertiti Galore (the vampire Set’s fiercely protective house cat) is a matter for speculation.

“So, Mr. Renfield,” Athelstan coughed through his face mask, “I hear that Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam issued an Executive Order this past Monday making it a criminal offense to hold a Church service with more than 10 people present. If found guilty, people could be imprisoned for 12 months and/or fined $2,500.”

“I imagine,” Renfield lit his pipe, “that the Baal and Baphomet worshipping Marxist despot Ralph Northam was positively ejaculating in ecstasy and orgasm at being able to sign such an Executive Order. I don’t imagine he’ll ever bother rescinding it even when the pandemic is over.”

“Probably not, sir,” Athelstan dusted off a portrait painting of the late British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher dressed in a medieval Iron Maiden torture chamber item suit, “Did you hear that Pope Francis’ personally designated papal successor Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle is saying let’s overcome the Coronavirus with a pandemic of love?”.

“Well,” Renfield sipped his pipe, “Isn’t that jackass just the epitome of romance?”.

. . .

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was flying a magic shamrock flying carpet from his rented farmhouse in Vermont to New York City.

Yaldabaoth had recently left Ireland after that country had closed all its pubs (As Yaldabaoth remarked at the time, “You know a world situation is serious when it forces Ireland to close all its pubs.”)

He had gone to Vermont hoping that the pubs would be open.

Many of them were closed but lucky for Yaldabaoth, there were plenty of Vermont country gentlemen who made their own moonshine.

Yaldabaoth rented his Vermont farmstead from another Irish leprechaun The Fantastic Flanigan.

The Fantastic Flanigan had the honour of being the world’s shortest UFC fighter.

He also had the honour of being the world’s only always defeated UFC fighter.

Generally all the other UFC fighters used the Fantastic Flanigan as practice for the day the old medieval sport of dwarf tossing was once again brought back into the world.

It so happened that the Fantastic Flanigan owned a flying carpet (made from magic shamrocks) so he had left it behind in the barn for Yaldabaoth to use.

Flanigan was currently spending his social isolation time at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada.

As Yaldabaoth approached New York City, he was shocked to see the Big Apple surrounded by an army of Dullahans (A Dullahan was a black horse riding headless horseman of death).

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 26th
2020

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Renfield, A Disembodied Head, A Missing Peace Prize and Welles’ Gatsby MacBeth

January 10, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Culture, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Literature, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Renfield, A Disembodied Head, A Missing Peace Prize and Welles’ Gatsby MacBeth

It was evening and British MP Renfield R. Renfield was once again on Skype talking to his friend Amadeus Emanon who was in Australia.

Amadeus was part of an international group of volunteers working to rescue koalas, kangaroos and other wildlife from the wildfires that were currently raging in that country.

“Some fire fighters and rescue volunteers captured some photos of an unusual sight today,” Amadeus mentioned.

“Oh, and what was that?” Renfield asked.

“It was photos of the flaming disembodied head of a Jesuit priest going around setting fire to trees,” Amadeus answered.

“That is a very unique and unusual form of arson,” Renfield used his Sherlockian powers of deductive reasoning to reach that conclusion.

“Angelique,” Amadeus referred to his girlfriend, “captured a video of it.”

Amadeus showed Renfield the video.

As flames of fire came forth from the disembodied head, the Jesuit said, “Survival of the fittest. Jump start the next evolutionary leap. Koalas and kangaroos won’t help the Cosmos evolve towards the Omega Point.”

“Makes you wonder if this Omega Point is worth evolving to,” Renfield commented as he took a swig of whisky.

. . .

The news video clip was of Donald Trump at a campaign event in Toledo, Ohio the night before.

Trump told his supporters, “I’m going to tell you about the Nobel Peace Prize, I’ll tell you about that. I made a deal, I saved a country and I just heard that the head of that country is getting the Nobel Peace Prize for saving the country. I said, ‘What, did I have something to do with it?’. Yeah, but you know, that’s the way it is. As long as we know, that’s all that matters… I saved a big war, I’ve saved a couple of them.”
Trump was stating that he deserved the Nobel Peace Prize for ending the war between Ethiopia and Eritrea.

Not Ethiopian Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed, 43, the man who actually ended the war.

The U.S. influence in the peace talks was minimal.

And so Donald Trump was making a whopper of a claim.

Probably the biggest whopper of a claim since then Prime Minister Brian Mulroney of Canada (the biggest most pompous and most arrogant asshole that Canadian politics has ever produced) made the whopper of a claim back in 1990 that he was the man single handedly responsible for the dismantling of the Berlin Wall in Europe and the ending of apartheid in South Africa.

Totally ignoring the efforts of Mikhail Gorbachev, Ronald Reagan and Pope John Paul II in the former event and the efforts of Nelson Mandela and F.W. De Klerk in the other.

. . .

The ghost of Orson Welles (who along with Winston Churchill’s ghost was one of two spirit advisors to Renfield R. Renfield) sat in a comfortable arm chair in the Set Estate mansion in West London sipping a glass of spectral red wine while Set’s cat Nefertiti Galore was dining on smoked oysters and vodka from her cat dish.

The ghost of Orson Welles was contemplating directing a new film- a roaring 1920s version of MacBeth in which MacBeth would appear as a Great Gatsby style figure and Lady MacBeth would come across as an even more narcissistic (than she was in Fitzgerald’s novel) version of Daisy Buchanan- one with severe psychopathic and homicidal tendencies.

Welles imagined MacBeth’s first meeting with the 3 Witches- not on a Scottish heath but in the grand drawing room of an elegant mansion on a colossal Long Island estate.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Friday January 10th
2020.

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215 Years Since Napoleon Bonaparte’s Coronation In Notre Dame Cathedral

December 2, 2019 at 11:57 pm (Fantasy, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

215 Years Since Napoleon Bonaparte’s Coronation In Notre Dame Cathedral

It was 215 years ago today that Napoleon Bonaparte had himself crowned as Emperor of the French in Notre Dame Cathedral.

Pope Pius VII had held the crown at the coronation ceremony in Notre Dame but Napoleon grabbed the crown from the pontiff and crowned himself Emperor of The French.

The Kraken Napoleon VI (who was a huge admirer of the original Emperor Napoleon I) decided to mark the occasion by having himself crowned Emperor of the French again.

He had himself crowned Emperor of the French by the Monsignor of Notre Dame Cathedral back on December 2nd 2015.

But no one in the French government or any voters among the French electorate recognized the Imperial Coronation much to the Kraken’s disappointment.

Of course on this particular occasion Notre Dame Cathedral was now closed to the public since the April fire in the cathedral earlier this year.

And the Monsignor of Notre Dame Cathedral attended classes on the Quran every Monday night so he was unable to attend for the Kraken’s re-coronation service this evening.

So the Kraken decided to hold his re-coronation ceremony (marking the original Napoleon’s 215th year of coronation) in front of Paris’ famous Arc de Triomphe.

He wore neo-Napoleonic French Imperial robes designed by the House of Chanel to easily accommodate his 8 arms.

He hired a stork (who had tired of the baby delivering business) to fly down and deposit the Crown of Napoleon I on his head after fireworks had gone off and the Orchestre de Paris had finished played a stirring rendition of La Marseillaise as well as the theme music from the 1983 James Bond film Octopussy.

The ceremony went off without a hitch.

Donald Trump, who was currently in London for tomorrow’s 70th Anniversary meeting of NATO, watched the coronation ceremony on British television.

Trump thought to himself, “I really should have myself crowned Emperor of America.”

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was likewise in London for the 70th Anniversary meeting of NATO.

He had recently heard the good news from CSIS (Canadian Security Intelligence Service) that a pair of time travellers had gone back in time and rescued his pet pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever from being murdered by PRC Ministry of State Security operatives on Xi Jinping’s orders.

Justin Trudeau had heard that Strawberry Fields Forever was currently being kept on the colossal London estate of the Egyptian billionaire Set who owned the multi-billion dollar research and development firm Set Enterprises.

Trudeau directed the Canadian Embassy car to be driven to the Set mansion so he could re-unite with his old friend Strawberry Fields Forever.

However Justin did not announce his visit and the Embassy car was set upon by the Set Estate’s guard and watch cat Nefertiti Galore who tore the Rolls-Royce limousine apart with her claws.

She then set out after the Canadian Prime Minister and the Embassy chauffeur.

The Embassy chauffeur managed to escape.

Justin wasn’t so lucky.

He had his clothes ripped off by Nefertiti Galore’s claws.

He was then arrested by Scotland Yard police for exposing himself on the streets of London.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield and his friend the vampiress Mei-ling Manchu were in London and were walking back from a service commemorating the victims of last Friday’s London Bridge attack.

Renfield happened to walk in the way of Donald Trump who happened to be exiting his limousine.

Trump who thought Renfield could be as easily pushed around as the Prime Minister of Montenegro a couple of years back pushed Renfield out of the way.

Big mistake on Trump’s part.

Renfield turned around and punched Trump in the head sending his golden urine coloured toupee flying 50 feet down the street.

Secret Service agents tackled Renfield to the ground thinking he was an assassin.

Big mistake on the Secret Service agents’ part.

Mei-ling Manchu moved quickly into action and used her martial arts skills to kick and send all of the Secret Service agents flying over the dome of Saint Paul’s Cathedral.

A dirigible flying above the dome carried John Donne’s message, “Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 2nd 
2019.

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The Great Pumpkin

October 30, 2019 at 10:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The Great Pumpkin

The vampiress Allatallahbel held an apple in her hands.

The vampiress priestess of Baal held it out to the visitor to the Vatican.

“Halloween apples,” she smiled.

The visitor took the apple, bit into it and ate.

His head immediately exploded leaving an awful mess on the Vatican walls for the Vatican cleaning staff to clean up.

For the apple being from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil had given the man full knowledge of both good and evil.

And naturally, being mortal, he could not handle that knowledge.

So his head exploded leaving brains and cerebral fluids all over a Renaissance portrait of Pope Alexander VI.

The Borgia Pope had never looked so good.

And as for the man who had tasted the knowledge of good and evil, he had surely died.

Making the original Serpent of Eden a liar.

. . .

The Vampiress Priestess of Baal’s ally Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow was riding his zombie black horse Bucephalus Reborn across the lawn of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal West London mansion.

He had been sent here by Allatallahbel to bump off British MP Renfield R. Renfield who had become a major thorn in the side to some of Allatallabel’s vampiress and middle eastern goddess allies.

Unbeknownst to the Headless Horseman and his singing black zombie horse who was currently singing the lyrics “I wore raspberry beret” namely because the horse was wearing a raspberry beret making him look extremely ridiculous on this night before Halloween, Renfield was in a Bed and Breakfast in the town of Tewkesbury getting ready to begin his constituency MP re-election campaign.

The Headless Horseman was riding along without his pumpkin head because it had been blown off in a strong wind storm that had suddenly descended on the streets of central London.

As such, he did not see all the huge cubes of a mysterious scarlet red coloured ice that decorated the lawns of the Set estate.

And as for Buchephalus Reborn, he was so engrossed in his own singing as well as his raspberry beret slipping down over his equine eyes, the horse did not notice the mysterious scarlet red coloured ice cubes either.

The horse slipped on the ice cubes and fell sending his rider Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow soaring through the air and through the huge panoramic window of the Set Estate living room.

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set, who had been comfortably sitting in his arm chair holding a glass of very good Port wine in one hand and a copy of The Economist Magazine in the other, called out to his butler and valet, “Athelstan, I think you better immediately call the emergency number of the 24-hour window replacement service.”

“Very good, sir,” Athelstan walked over to the phone and proceeded to do just that.

“Nefertiti Galore,” Set called out to the estate’s watch cat with fierce claws, “Sic him.”

The Headless Horseman soon found himself attacked by the cat Nefertiti Galore and rushed back out the window.

Somehow he miraculously managed to get back on top of Bucephalus Reborn and horse and rider fled through the streets of London being diligently pursued by the ferocious claws of Set’s pet cat Nefertiti Galore.

Up above the skies of London, a ferocious looking Great Pumpkin shone down on top of them.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 30th
2019.

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1st Video of The Resurrected Dragon Princess Lenora of Lemuria

November 8, 2018 at 11:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Music, music videos, Mythology, News, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, Video, videos) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was lying in his upright Egyptian sarcophagus in his colossal bedroom in his colossal London mansion drinking chai tea on a tray in front of him that was poured from a tea pot that resembled the Taj Mahal.

His cat Nefertiti Galore caught several vampiric flesh eating rats that had been sent into Set’s bedroom by his enemy siblings Isis and Osiris.

Set’s butler and valet Athelstan arrived to tell him how the Cousteau brothers’ marine archaeological expeditions (that Set was personally financing) were going.

Both Cousteau brothers Louis Alphonse and Toulouse (who were great nephews of the famous 20th Century French oceanographer Jacques Cousteau) had discovered the lost continents of Lemuria and Atlantis respectively the past couple of months.

In the South Pacific, Louis Alphonse Cousteau had discovered the glass coffin containing the perfectly preserved body of Lenora the last Dragon Warrioress Crown Princess of Lemuria in the sunken city of Mu the capital city of the lost continent of Lemuria.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher had sent a drone (in the shape of a mechanical pterodactyl) to the South Pacific (an object photographed and video recorded by various people who posted the pics to YouTube conspiracy channels devoted to the topic of NASA covering up the existence of dinosaurs in the modern world) containing a test tube of Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s Resurrection Serum – a combination of ambrosia (that kept the Greek Olympian gods immortal) dried tana leaves (like in the early 1940s Universal Pictures Mummy films that kept the mummy Kharis alive), dried eucalyptus leaves (whose fresh eucalyptus leaves keep koala bears alive) and dried Canadian recreational cannabis leaves (whose smoking and inhaling keeps Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s genetically created pot smoking desert cactus plant named Strawberry Fields Forever alive).

The serum when poured between Dragon Warrioress Crown Princess Lenora of Lemuria’s lips immediately brought her back from the dead.

Louis Alphonse Cousteau shot a video of the Lemurian Dragon Warrioress Princess doing her happy dance at being brought back from the dead:

The Dragon Princess wasn’t quite ready yet to show her face to the world.

After watching the video, Set then closed his sarcophagus lid.

Athelstan proceeded to do some dusting around the Egyptian vampire’s bedroom when suddenly he noticed a milky white substance overflowing from his Divine Vampiric Lordship’s sarcophagus.

“Good Lord!” Athelstan exclaimed, “Isis and Osriris have found a way to drown the master!”.

He immediately ran over and opened the sarcophagus lid.

“Close the f%!&*!ing lid, you idiot,” Set shouted as he was caught with his Hugh Hefner style red velvet pyjama bottoms down and his hands on the region between his hips.

“Sorry, sir,” Athelstan immediately closed the lid down, “I thought maybe your nephew Horus had come up with a way of Death By Kellogg’s Corn Flakes.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 8th
2018.

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The Day After: A Renfieldian Analysis

November 7, 2018 at 11:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

It was the day after the U.S. midterm elections.

As recently terminated U.S. Attorney-General Jeff Sessions asked his aide for directions to the nearest Unemployment line and Donald Trump began his campaign for Asshole of The Year Award among members of the White House Press Corps, Renfield R. Renfield shared his analysis of the U.S. midterms with his friend Amadeus Emanon.

“It appears Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was spot on in declaring the winners,” Renfield bit into a tuna fish sandwich.

“But it appears he was mistaken in his vision last Saturday about widespread violence at polling stations,” Amadeus bit into a peanut butter sandwich.

“Not necessarily,” Renfield belched, “I immediately relayed Michelangelo’s vision to Dr. Faustus Imhotep the acting head of DARPA as well as Peter Whitstable of Interpol. Whitstable took my personal brigade of British Army gurkas and staged two raids on shiploads of arms arriving in Florida. One was a shipload of arms that was intended for Antifa operatives sent to them by Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro and the other was a shipload of arms intended for white supremacists sent to them by Havana based Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike. Dr. Faustus Imhotep sent DARPA contract assassins Pan Goatee and Panty Goatee to bump off suspected Antifa and Neo-Nazi provocateurs the evening before the U.S. midterm elections. As a result of this DARPA Night of The Long Cleavers and Long Machetes, the U.S. midterms voting went off without violence and undertakers in towns where Antifa operatives and Neo-Nazis lived picked up a little extra business this week.”

“Good to see you took action,” Amadeus remarked.

Suddenly a loud piercing scream came from outside.

“It sounds like our estate watch cat Nefertiti Galore has taken action against someone,” Renfield went running outside and was joined by Amadeus where they saw that the cat had scratched ten faces on a ten headed demon.

“Who is that demon?” Amadeus asked.

“Well if my photographic memory of illustrations in the Encyclopedia of Demons serves me correctly,” Renfield put on a pair of spectacles, “that’s Ravana the Rakshasa demon king of Lanka.”

“What could he possibly want on the Set estate?” Amadeus asked.

“Well the Boss,” Renfield was referring to the Estate’s owner the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set and not Bruce Springsteen, “recently bought an original authentic statue of Sita who was Prince Rama’s bride that Ravana kidnapped millenia ago and so maybe Ravana wanted to steal it.”

After receiving catclaw scratches on his ten faces while in London, Ravana fled to Ravenna where he spent his days and nights studying the city’s Byzantine and Gothic architecture.

Happy Diwali to all my Indian friends. 😊

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 7th
2018.


Panty Goatee spent the night before U.S. midterm election day slitting the throats of Antifa operatives and Neo-Nazi white supremacists.

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