Sherrielock Holmes and The White Horse
Sherrielock Holmes and her white horse Excalibur Lightning as they appear in an Edwardian Age photo.
The date was October 3rd 1902.
Exactly 120 years ago.
And the amazing and wonderful Sherrielock Holmes (the lesser known twin sister of world-famous consulting detective Sherlock Holmes) was getting her photo taken by the famous London photographer Wilfrid Rutherford.
She and her white horse Excalibur Lightning.
“I hope your photo of you and Lightning turn out well,” Sherlock remarked as he smoked his pipe.
“I’m sure it will,” Sherrielock smiled.
“I say, Holmes, you know I saw Excalibur Lightning eating some mushrooms this morning along with his hay,” Dr. Watson commented.
“Mushrooms?” Holmes raised an eyebrow.
“Oh,” Sherrielock laughed, “Lightning must have got into some of my Lingzhi Supernatural Mushrooms.”
“Does that mean he’s become immortal like you?” Watson put some black mascara on his gray moustache so it would look black again.
“I don’t know,” Sherrielock shrugged, “I’ll have to ask Louis if a horse eating Lingzhi Supernatural Mushrooms will make him immortal.”
Sherrielock was referring to her husband Dr. Louis Rocher the world-famous French scientist (who unbeknownst to both Sherrielock and her brother Sherlock was in fact the illegitimate son of Holmes’ archenemy Prof. James Moriarty).
A few years ago Dr. Louis prepared a dish using Lingzhi Supernatural Mushrooms for his wife Sherrielock that made her immortal.
“You sure you don’t want Louis to prepare the same dish for you?” Sherrielock asked Sherlock.
“I don’t want to live forever in this body,” Holmes answered, “And immortality through Watson’s literary efforts in The Strand Magazine using his friend Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s name is quite enough for me.”
“As it is for me, Holmes, as it is for me,” Watson acknowledged.
“If that’s the case, good Doctor,” Sherrielock smiled, “Then why are you colouring your gray moustache black using my eye mascara?”.
Watson’s face turned quite red.
“And if Excalibur Lightning becomes immortal,” Sherlock asked his sister, “then what will you two do?”.
Sherrielock suddenly thought she saw the image of the great Serb-American inventor Nikola Tesla appear before her.
Tesla said to her, “Ride to Moscow to save Kyiv and the world. Ride to Moscow to save Kyiv and the world.”
Then the image of Tesla vanished.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 3rd
2022.
Dracul Van Helsing Meets Maria Orsic
The Austro-Croatian mystic Maria Orsic calls out to Dracul Van Helsing from the window of her Chicago hotel room.
Dracul Van Helsing used the Houdini-Tesla-Pantages prototype magic lanterns for his time travel.
They were a type of image projecting magic lantern that projected black and white film images.
This magic lantern had been invented by the Hungarian-American magician Harry Houdini, the Serbian-American inventor Nikola Tesla and the Greek-American movie producer and movie house theatre chain owner Alexander Pantages working together to develop it in 1925.
Houdini claimed to have gotten the idea for this magic lantern from a magician’s assistant of his named Serena who claimed to have gotten the idea from Thoth the Egyptian god of time.
However the magic lantern still seemed incapable of allowing time travel.
Eventually the Houdini-Tesla-Pantages prototype magic lantern came into the hands of Orson Welles.
In the early morning hours of October 31st 1938 (a few hours after his infamous War of The Worlds radio broadcast), an entity claiming to be a Martian who intensely disliked the state of New Jersey (and why did Welles allow him to land there in his broadcast?) gave Welles further tips on how to tweak the magic lantern to allow time travel.
Welles’ tweaking helped somewhat but it wasn’t enough.
It remained for the magic lantern to fall into the possession of the Austrian-American film actress and inventor Hedy Lamarr (the woman who in the early 1940s invented the wireless radio technology that eventually became Bluetooth and Wi-Fi) to put the final touches on the magic lantern to make it time travel capable.
Lamarr added those finishing touches to the Houdini-Tesla-Pantages prototype in January of 1949.
Hearing the news that an evil member of the Ahnenerbe Nazi Occult Bureau Franz Kohler was still alive and anxious to get his hands on the device, Hedy Lamarr hid it in a West Hollywood movie theatre (that still exists today as a repertory theatre that plays old movies).
She informed Welles where she had placed the magic lantern.
The secret died with them.
However when Hades and Persephone allowed the ghost of Orson Welles to leave the realm of Hades along with the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill to serve as spirit advisors to British MP Renfield R. Renfield, the ghost of Orson Welles had informed Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing of its location on New Year’s Day of this year.
Dracul visited the West Hollywood repertory movie theatre on January 14th of this year where he made out with the Greek goddess Athena who was appearing in black and white on the screen.
And Dracul had been time travelling on and off again ever since.
Today in a time warp between the Chicago of a 1930s Hollywood film set and the actual Chicago of today January 31st 2019, he was summoned to enter the hotel room of the Austro-Croatian mystic Maria Orsic (who was Nikola Tesla’s secret love).
Maria Orsic invites Dracul Van Helsing in for a cosmic tantric sex encounter. Dracul obliges.
Semiramis, Jack The Ripper and The Autumn of Terror
Semiramis the former Queen of Babylon was grateful to the time travelling vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing for having rescued her from Jack The Ripper
“I see you’ve changed the colour of your dress,” Dracul Van Helsing noted as he approached the Mystery Woman of Babylon in her Whitechapel London apartment, “you’ve gone from a full length scarlet red evening dress to a white silk nightgown with black lingerie top.”
“I only wear scarlet when I’m riding a seven headed beast,” Semiramis replied.
“And so you wear black and white when you’re riding a one headed beast,” Dracul answered as he raised her dress and brought her down on top of him in one massive volcanic eruption of tantric sex.
The resulting climactic earthshaking tremors shook the Westminster Houses of Parliament, Saint Paul’s Cathedral and the headquarters of Scotland Yard.
The Kraken who was Jack the Ripper had tried to kill Semiramis earlier that evening:
The Ripper/Kraken had seized her in a Whitechapel alley behind the Crown and Horns Pub:
As a raven squawked “Nevermore” while sitting on a ledge, the Ripper/Kraken was set upon by a white wolf with blue eyes, a black jaguar with silver eyes and the time travelling Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.
Following his catastrophic sea testicles dismembering, the Ripper returned to his human form that night when he decided to kill again:
Meanwhile at another moment in time- approaching midnight on the evening of January 21st 2019, Donald Trump woke up in his room shrieking to his English butler and valet Lexington that he had had a nightmare where his sea testicles had been dismembered.
Lexington put down the copy of Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s The Rime of The Ancient Mariner that he had been reading, took off his glasses, got out of bed, put on his dressing robe and went to the room next door to see what the Donald was bitching about.
And at another moment in time, the late Nikola Tesla’s secret love the Austrian-Croatian spiritist medium for the German Vril Society Maria Orsic had on her lap a briefcase containing the Nazi UFO Flying Saucer plans on the date of May 8th 1945 when Nazi Germany (but not the Third Reich) had announced its surrender:
The plans were later bought by Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman for $10 billion at Christie’s Auction House in London this past December.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 21st
2019
Pan Goatee Beheads More Fat Ugly Blimps, Putin’s Latvian Victory and Atlantis Discovered
Pan Goatee Beheads More Fat Ugly Blimps, Putin’s Latvian Victory and Atlantis Discovered
DARPA contract assassin and genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee decided to visit a McDonald’s restaurant he hadn’t been to for a while.
He hoped that there would be no fat ugly blimps in there who would ruin his appetite.
Pan ordered the Big Mac combo and after eating it, lo and behold a couple of extremely repulsively ugly fat ugly Caucasian blimps entered the restaurant and went and sat like elephants in a booth not far from him.
After throwing up all over Ontario Premier Doug Ford (who was in Calgary to attend an Axe The Carbon Tax rally), he said to the Premier now sporting a 🤮 green (formerly black) t-shirt that said JUST SAY NO TO THE CARBON TAX, Pan said to Ford, “You really should have a t-shirt that says JUST SAY NO TO FAT UGLY BLIMPS. Fat ugly blimps are more of a threat to the world’s existence and future survival than a carbon tax is.”
Goatee after redecorating the colour of Doug Ford’s t-shirt then walked over and beheaded the two fat ugly blimps.
Krampus the 2nd arrived on the scene to cut up the two fat ugly blimps into 666 quadrillion pieces and then put them into environmentally unfriendly plastic garbage bags, pour gasoline on them and then burn down a drug dealer’s house with them.
Goatee then tried to enjoy the rest of his Coca-Cola but then another fat ugly white blimp came and sat directly in front of him.
Goatee then threw up all over Alberta’s Provincial Education Minister David Eggen a member of the NDP cabinet and therefore a supporter of the carbon tax.
“I have to be fair to both sides of this question,” Goatee remarked when he had finished vomiting 🤮.
Goatee then went over and beheaded this third fat ugly white blimp.
Once again Krampus the 2nd arrived on the scene and performing his usual déjà vu modus operandi that he had been taught by Pan Goatee eventually set another drug dealer’s house on fire with fat ugly blimp remains (for as David Bowie noted, “You can’t put out fire 🔥 with gasoline ⛽️ “).
Nero’s ghost played on his violin 🎻, “Burn baby burn. Disco inferno…” as the house burnt to the ground although this drug dealer’s house was no New York City Studio 54.
. . .
Meanwhile over in Riga, Latvia 🇱🇻 the pro-Russia party Harmony won the most votes 🗳 in today’s Latvian general election.
What probably sealed the pro-Russia Harmony party’s victory was the recent visit of Pope Francis to Latvia 🇱🇻 two weeks ago.
Pope Francis was denounced as a “disciple of the Devil” by Russian 🇷🇺 President Vladimir Putin in a speech to servicemen and sailors at a Russian naval shipyard last year.
After seeing Pope Francis in person so recently, the Latvian people no doubt reached the conclusion that Putin was correct in his assessment and decided to vote for the pro-Russia Harmony party.
. . .
Meanwhile over in the Atlantic Ocean, the French marine biologist, marine archaeologist and oceanographer Louis Alphonse Cousteau’s older brother Toulouse Cousteau had just discovered the lost continent of Atlantis (as his younger brother Louis Alphonse had just discovered the lost continent of Lemuria in the South Pacific a couple of weeks ago).
Both Cousteau brothers were great nephews of the famous 20th Century French oceanographer Jacques Cousteau.
And both Cousteau brothers had used the geographic coordinates used in a 36-page letter that Nikola Tesla had written in the early 1940s to FDR’s 2nd Vice-President Henry A. Wallace containing the mystical visions of a Croatian Austrian German woman mystic Maria Orsic (whom Tesla described as the true love of his life) on the destruction and locations of both Lemuria and Atlantis to find both lost continents respectively.
Toulouse Cousteau sat aboard his vessel The Calypso Beat (a former Venezuelan oil tanker) and toasted his find with a glass of British Columbia Okanagan Valley Red Wine 🍷.
The lost continent of Atlantis beneath the Atlantic waves 🌊.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday October 6th
2018.
More Ado About Lenora of Lemuria
More Ado About Lenora of Lemuria
Undersea explorer Louis Alphonse Cousteau was enjoying a glass of cognac before bedtime.
Preparations were already in place to dive down to the central palace of the lost city of Mu in the lost sunken continent of Lemuria.
His (now) girlfriend the Italian Greek diver Sophia Lollobrigida had located the site a couple of days earlier.
Shots had been fired in the area by ships belonging to megalomaniac despot Xi Jinping’s Chinese People’s Liberation Army Navy who felt that Cousteau’s ship The Ariel Calypso was too close to the South China Sea which Communist Neo-Emperor Xi claimed in total.
Emboldened by having gained control over China’s Catholics through the total sell-out of the Chinese Church to Xi by the cowardly Pope Francis and the approval of the Moloch worshiping Bishop Marcelo Sanchez Sorondo the Marxist-Leninist “useful idiot” Chancellor of the Pontifical Academy of Social Sciences, Xi was now preparing to annex the South China Sea in a move sure to annoy his Asian neighbours as well as U.S. President Donald Trump.
But geopolitics and the ambitions of a Mao Tse-tung wannabe weren’t on Cousteau’s mind now.
He was thinking about the circumstances that led to this moment- the discovery of Lemuria and its long lost city of Mu.
A friend of his had purchased an old book in a used book store in Manitou Springs, Colorado about 14 years ago.
The book happened to have within its pages a 36-page letter that had been written to Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s then Vice-President Henry A. Wallace from Serbian-American scientist-inventor Nikola Tesla back in early 1941.
In it, Tesla confessed to Wallace that there was indeed a woman he truly loved (in answer to a question Wallace had asked in a letter he sent Tesla).
The woman was 40 years younger than he was and was a Croatian woman who lived in Germany.
She apparently was a mystic and had many visions, Tesla claimed.
One of the visions was of the destruction of the continents of Lemuria and Atlantis.
Tesla then gave Wallace the South Pacific geographical location of where the continent with its lost city of Mu could be found.
He claimed the body of Lemuria’s Crown Princess Lenora was still intact and perfectly preserved in a glass coffin in the main palace of Mu according to Tesla’s girlfriend’s visions.
Tesla said that Lenora had died as a result of arsenic poisoning and that her funeral and burial was held on the very day that Lemuria was hit by an electromagnetic pulse (fired by her archenemy Atlantis in the Atlantic Ocean) which caused a tsunami that drove the continent under the ocean waves.
In his last act before going glub! glub! glub! (as he succumbed to rising sea water), Lenora’s father the Emperor of Lemuria had given the order for Lemurian space satellites to fire an electromagnetic pulse down on Atlantis.
Soon the Emperor of Atlantis and his family and his subjects were going glub! glub! glub! as they succumbed to rising sea water caused by the Atlantic Ocean tsunami as a result of the electromagnetic pulse.
Tesla’s letter to Wallace was right as far as the geographic location and lines longitude and latitude of Lemuria were concerned.
. . .
“Who’s Nikola Tesla?” Donald Trump asked as he read through a DARPA report, “Does he work for Elon Musk?”.
. . .
Edgar Allan Poe walked through the old Baltimore cemetery.
He was there to see if he could find his lost love Lenore.
Lenore claimed to have the ability to travel through time on occasion.
She was born and raised a princess in Lemuria she said.
She had also visited the future over a century and a half thence from Poe’s own time she said.
She told Poe in a letter she’d meet in this old cemetery today wearing clothes from the future.
Poe looked around at the cemetery headstones until he spotted Lenore.
Edgar Allan Poe’s long lost love Lenore in an old cemetery
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday September 27th
2018.
Nikola Tesla, Tantric Sex and The Eiffel Tower
Nikola Tesla, Tantric Sex and The Eiffel Tower
The stranger stood at the window of the Paris apartment he had rented for his birthday.
He lit a cigarette and gazed at the Eiffel Tower in the distance.
He then turned and looked at the beautiful woman who sat on his bed.
She looked exactly like the woman in one of his favourite contemporary music videos.
She was even wearing the same red halter top and sexy red skirt that the woman was wearing in the video.
He had run into her in a Paris martini 🍸 bar earlier this evening and was glad that “of all the martini bars in Paris he could have walked into, he walked into that one” to paraphrase a comment made by Humphrey Bogart in the movie Casablanca.
“Are you coming to bed?” She purred at him.
“I am,” the stranger put a Tesla coil and radio receiver on the window sill, “and with you with me, I’ll probably be coming in bed as well.”
He adjusted the wireless frequency on his Apple Watch ⌚️ and then walked over to the bed and started passionately kissing the woman in the red skirt.
She fell backwards on to the bed and raised her skirt.
The stranger noticed that she wasn’t wearing any panties.
He smiled.
He was glad to be with a woman who followed that Girl Guide motto Be Prepared.
As he mounted her, a wireless transmission hit the receiver at the top of the Eiffel Tower.
The wireless transmission had actually been sent 114 years earlier back on July 14th 1903 by Nicola Tesla at his Wardenclyffe Tower in Shoreham, Long Island, New York.
The Eiffel Tower then relayed the transmission to the Tesla coil and radio receiver on the window sill of the birthday celebrating stranger’s rented apartment.
The Tesla coil and radio receiver then sent the transmission to the stranger’s Apple Watch as a receiver.
The transmission then sent a major electrical discharge through the man’s body and the body of the woman in the red skirt causing both to have a major earth shaking climax and orgasm simultaneously.
“Holy Christ,” the woman shouted.
“Well, I’ve always thought of myself as the world’s greatest sinner but thanks for the compliment,” the man fell backwards on to his pillow and lit a cigarette.
As a result of this birthday night orgy of Teslian physics and tantric sex, the world was about to change forever.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 28th
2017.
Peter Whitstable In Voorschoten
Peter Whitstable In Voorschoten
Peter Whitstable the man they called “the Fox Mulder of Interpol” was in the Dutch town of Voorschoten near The Hague outside the apartment building where Maria Putina (daughter of Russian President Vladimir Putin) was said to have lived in the top penthouse with her Dutch boyfriend Jorrit Faassen up until a few days ago.
There were rumours she had now fled the country in the wake of anti-Russian feeling over the shooting down of Malaysian Airlines Flight MH17 on which 193 Dutch citizens had died.
But just on the off chance she was still in the apartment, Peter Whitstable waited outside with a small strange machine in his hands.
Peter Whitstable with his interest in the paranormal and all things supernatural had uncovered the design for the machine in a rare Medieval Latin manuscript written by the 13th Century English Franciscan monk, philosopher and scientist Roger Bacon.
The machine was said to prevent attacks by beings who were using astral projection to commit attacks.
Although Whitstable did not know how to build the machine using Bacon’s design and instructions, he knew of a man who did.
The man was Dr. Cadbury Rocher the chief research scientist at Set Enterprises Laboratories in London.
Paying Dr. Rocher a small fee, the scientist designed the machine for Whitstable.
Whitstable in the past year had come across the existence of an entity that was using astral projection to carry out killings and assassinations.
The entity was a genetically created half-man half-goat hybrid satyr Pan Goatee.
Pan Goatee had enjoyed a brief stint as a pan pipes player for the rock group Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers.
He now worked as a hired assassin for both the U.S. government and anyone who could afford to hire him.
Pan Goatee carried out his killings using astral projection.
So in order to prevent some of the killings if Whitstable managed to uncover who was next on the Pan Goatee hit list, he used the Roger Bacon machine to set up an astral wall around the target to prevent Pan Goatee’s entry.
Ironically at the time Whitstable had hired Dr. Cadbury Rocher to build the Roger Bacon Astral Fortress Machine for him, he had no idea that it was Dr. Rocher who had actually created the genetic hybrid half-man half-goat satyr Pan Goatee.
Through a series of mishaps, the creature had become lost to Set Enterprises and Pan Goatee had wandered across England on his own as a serial killer prior to joining the music group Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers.
Now Whitstable had discovered through intercepted emails that Pan Goatee had been hired by powerful interests in the U.S. to bump off Maria Putina as a warning to her father Vladimir to stop rocking the boat of the New World Order.
Unbeknownst to Whitstable and the powerful U.S. interests, the British being a more pragmatic people had hired someone else (Renfield R. Renfield the Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for Set Enterprises) to bump off Putin himself.
There was a chance of course that Maria Putina was not in the apartment but Whitstable thought better safe than sorry as he stood outside.
He put on the pair of goggles that had been specially invented by Nikola Tesla to spot beings and entities flying in their astral bodies.
Whitstable had recognized and spotted the goggles in a second-hand store in Brooklyn.
He purchased them from the unknowing store owner for $10.
DARPA was continuing to desperately search for them and offering hundreds of millions of dollars to anyone as finder’s fee for providing the secretive U.S. government research agency with the goggles.
Sure enough within a matter of minutes, Whitstable spotted Pan Goatee’s astral body and astral machete flying towards the penthouse at the top of the apartment building.
Whitstable pushed a few buttons on the Roger Bacon Astral Fortress Machine.
An astral wall emerged around the penthouse.
Pan Goatee who of course wasn’t wearing Tesla goggles did not spot the wall.
He flew directly into it and fell with a thud to the ground.
“I hate it when that happens,” said the half-man half-goat satyr with hairy legs up in the air as he lay on the ground as someone walked by.
“I really should give up drinking,” hiccoughed the unemployed former maker of Dutch wooden shoes whose business had gone up in smoke when it fell prey to a bad case of termites.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday July 27th
2014.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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