Odin, Rudolphus The Fire-Breathing Reindeer and Baby Yoda

December 25, 2019 at 11:25 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Odin, Rudolphus The Fire-Breathing Reindeer and Baby Yoda

Amadeus Emanon was listening to BBC World News on the radio.

BBC News Announcer: And in other news, Donald Trump’s personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani said that he’s currently investigating claims that Joe Biden as a 5-year-old participated in the surgical autopsy performed in Area 51 on the bodies of the ET grays who were killed in the UFO crash at Roswell New Mexico in 1947.
On the subject Donald Trump tweeted, @realDonaldTrump Go Rudy! #TheTruthIsOutThere

. . .

Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol was in Oslo, Norway.

He was looking at a photograph taken last night from a cliff in the Jotunheim Mountains of Norway.

Whitstable had text messaged the photo to an acquaintance of his Clive Reuel Staples a professor of Norse, Germanic and Anglo-Saxon Mythology at Oxford University.

He asked for help in identifying the figures in the photo.

Staples text messaged back that the figures were Rudolfus the Fire-Breathing Reindeer and Odin the King of the Norse gods.

Staples also informed Whitstable that Odin only rides Rudolfus the Fire-Breathing Reindeer when a major global conflict is about to break out.

Whitstable looked over at his assistant who was already turning the photo of Odin and Rudolphus the Fire-Breathing Reindeer into a Facebook meme.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was over at the Set Enterprises laboratory to pick up Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher to drive him home for Christmas dinner.

Dr. Rocher was busy working on Magical Mystery Tour the new marijuana smoking desert cactus plant that he was developing for Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

Sitting in the back of the car, Dr. Rocher asked Renfield, “Did you ever see the 2004 Mel Gibson film The Passion of the Christ?”.

“I did,” Renfield answered.

“Do you remember that scene where the Devil played by Italian actress Rosalinda Celentano is carrying a very sinister looking baby?” Rocher asked.

“I do,” Renfield nodded.

“Have you noticed,” Dr. Rocher drew a sketch on a piece of paper, “that if you put bigger ears on that baby, how much it looks like Baby Yoda from the Star Wars Disney + television series The Mandalorian?”.

“Dr. Rocher,” Renfield looked back at the scientist, “Are you trying to tell me that Baby Yoda is the Devil’s child? The Antichrist?”.

“I am,” Dr. Rocher nodded.

Renfield drove the Set Enterprises’ scientist to the nearest hospital emergency ward fearing that Dr. Cadbury Rocher had inhaled way too much of Magical Mystery Tour’s exhaled pot smoke.

-A vampire novel chapterĀ 
written by Christopher
Wednesday December 25th
2019.

Permalink 16 Comments

Isis and Gen. Vulkan In Poland

May 8, 2014 at 7:31 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Isis and Gen. Vulkan In Poland

The Egyptian Vampiress Isis was dressed like an Egyptian queen as she inspected NATO troops in Poland.

She wore a long flowing white dress, a necklace of diamonds, jade, rubies and sapphires, a diamond tiara adorned by a precious pearl at the top that was cut in the shape of a crescent moon, and silver embroidered spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes that had on each shoe a pure gold coin as round as the circumference of the sun and bearing the image and inscription of the ancient Roman deity Sol Invictus.

The NATO soldiers on the ground had no idea who this exotic looking strikingly beautiful woman was who was inspecting them and being led around in her inspection by German Gen. Wolfgang Vulkan.

The soldiers knew it couldn’t be German Chancellor Angela Merkel as (mercifully for them) she looked nothing like the German Chancellor.

She looked like American singing superstar Rihanna.

Watching the spectacle and the inspection was the U.K. ‘s Secret Intelligence Service MI-6 Agent who was known only by his code name Diablos Nocturna.

Diablos Nocturna was pretty sure that the one- eyed German general showing Isis the troops was the ancient Norse vampire Odin worshipped as Odin by the Vikings and as Wotan by the ancient Germanic tribes.

“So Gen. Vulkan,” Isis looked directly into the General’s good-eye, “do you think we’ll finally have a war against Russia?”.

“That is my fondest hope, my lady,” the general bowed to her, “as it is yours.”

. . .

The Mossad agent they called the Controller of the Golem read the document that had been forwarded to him from Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

It was a copy of a handwritten note sent to Mr. Netanyahu earlier this year by the Paris-based Egyptian billionairess Isis (whom rumour had it was a Vampiress) offering to help the Israeli government build a Third Jewish Temple on the Temple Mount provided they erected a statue to the ancient Egyptian god Osiris within the Temple.

. . .

MI-6 Agent Diablos Nocturna was engaged in a night of passionate lovemaking and steamy sex with the sexy and sultry Egyptian Vampiress Isis.

After sex, both of them put nicotine patches on their bodies to get the respective post-coital nicotine high while escaping the hazards of dying from lung cancer due to smoking cigarettes (although in Isis’ case she needn’t have worried since a wooden stake through the heart would be far more lethal than any cigarette).

As she inhaled the pretend non-existent cigarette in her mouth, she received a text message on her smart phone from Gen. Vulkan, Interesting developments on the ground in Ukraine. It’s Brussels sprouts for the Valkyries.

Isis immediately stood up and got dressed.

Looking every inch an Egyptian queen, she adjusted her dress and announced, “I’ve got to get to NATO Headquarters in Brussels.”

She left.

At that moment, Diablos Nocturna received a text message from the Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec in Mexico City.

He said with all the eloquence of a Tom Hanks character in a movie adaptation of a Dan Brown novel, “I’ve got to get me to an antiquarian book store in the Gloucestershire town of Tewkesbury.”

. . .

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 8th
2014.

Permalink 2 Comments

Winter Olympics Open In Sochi and More Fallout Over Kiev

February 7, 2014 at 8:39 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Winter Olympics Open In Sochi and More Fallout Over Kiev

Renfield R. Renfield and Amadeus Emanon were watching the highlights of the Opening Ceremony of the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi on BBC World News.

“Say,” Amadeus asked between munches of hot buttered popcorn, “isn’t that the Norse vampire Odin and the Norse vampire Thor walking on one side of the stadium and the Norse vampire Loki and the Norse wolf Fenrir walking on the other?”.

Renfield looked up from the book he was reading by early 20th Century Italian Marxist theoretician Antonio Gramsci and glanced at the screen, “Yes, I believe it is.”

The scene then switched to Bosnia-Herzegovina where anti- government protests had turned violent.

“Say isn’t that the Ancient Greek vampire Ares in the crowd eating a Mars bar?” Amadeus asked between sips from a bottle of Coca-Cola whose ingredients were listed in the Spanish language (which no doubt would have offended a U.S. Republican Congressman of the Tea Party variety).

“I believe so,” Renfield looked up from his iPhone where he was checking French President Francois Hollande’s Facebook status that read “I did not have sexual relations with that woman…” although he had written it in French.

As a comment below the status, someone had posted a photo of a cartoon caricature of Francois Hollande looking like an extended nose Pinocchio.

On the darkened streets of Sarajevo at night, the BBC News cameras showed the ghost of an assassinated Austrian Archduke walking around saying, “I am the ghost of Franz Ferdinand doomed these past one hundred years to walk the night…”

BBC World News then showed the streets of Kiev where the ancient Babylonian Vampiress Lilith was walking around hitting Ukrainian policemen on the head with a smart phone shaped spiked stiletto high-heeled shoe while a Ukrainian protestor whistled the theme song from the old 1960s American TV series Get Smart.

“I wonder what Lilith is doing in Kiev?” Amadeus asked as he reached into a bucket of chicken wings

“Maybe looking for a good recipe for Chicken Kiev,” Renfield responded while glancing through a biography of Neville Chamberlain.

The BBC News then showed a video of German Chancellor Angela Merkel looking apoplectic while blasting the United States for a derogatory remark that U.S. Assistant Secretary of State Victoria Nuland had made about the EU in a phone conversation with the U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine.

“F— the EU,” the bugged recording of the conversation had Victoria Nuland saying.

As Renfield flipped through the pages of a book called The Role of The Kama Sutra in Geopolitics and International Relations, Amadeus asked him, “Who do you suppose is responsible for bugging that phone conversation between Assistant Secretary of State Nuland and the U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine?”.

Renfield a renowned hacker, wiretapper and eavesdropper in his own right grinned but said nothing.

Outside the window of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s estate, a colossal raven sat in the branches of a giant oak tree and looking in and eavesdropping on Amadeus and Renfield started to crow, “It’s all a Jewish conspiracy. It’s all a Jewish conspiracy.”

The raven raised its right claw on which it had a black swastika decorated armband.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday February 7th
2014

Permalink Leave a Comment

Haiku For My Friend Sherrie And Her Oak Tree

October 24, 2013 at 6:57 pm (Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

The great mighty Thor

stands at friend Sherrie’s oak tree

asking Where’s Odin?

Permalink Leave a Comment