Atargatis and Van Helsing, Whitstable and Priyanka, Sherrielock Holmes and Maduro

February 23, 2019 at 11:55 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )


The northern Syrian mermaid goddess Atargatis in human form

The northern Syrian mermaid goddess Atargatis had shapeshifted into fully human form and was sitting in a luxury hotel suite in a swank New York City hotel in February of 1944.

A huge battle was currently going on between time travellers.

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was battling Nazi SS Ahnenerbe officer Franz Kohler up and down the corridors of time and various epochs in history.

Kohler was using the technology of Die Glocke a bell shaped space-going and time travelling Nazi UFO like saucer craft.

Dracul Van Helsing was using the Houdini-Tesla-Welles-Lamarr prototype magic lantern film projector to travel back and forth through time.

Also interfering in the time travelling war was the CERN Large Hadron Collidor in Switzerland being run by scientists who were indulging in far too much use of legalized recreational Canadian cannabis.

Also partaking in the pot inhalation was the Hindu god Shiva (whose statue was outside the CERN tunnel) who as a result was trying to conduct the Swiss National Symphony Orchestra into conducting a personal musical number that the deity was composing tentatively called Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony Meets Freddie Mercury’s Bohemian Rhapsody.

The first negative critic of the piece was Shiva’s wife Kali who was using all ten of her arms to cover her ears and when that didn’t work had fled to an artist’s studio on a quiet Greek island.

Now the conflict between Van Helsing and Kohler had turned to New York City in February 1944 a few months before the June D-Day Invasion of Normandy.

Van Helsing had just managed to evade arrest by Astana Kazakhstan police authorities for an assassination attempt on Russian President Vladimir Putin and the supernatural entity Black Dragon of Beijing.

The vampire hunter did have an alibi in that he was being spanked by and having tantric sex with the vampiress Golgotha (vampiress daughter of the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith) at the time.

But the Astana Kazakhstan authorities were the type to torture first and ask questions later.

So Van Helsing pressed the button on his Houdini-Tesla-Welles-Lamarr protype magic lantern and found himself in New York City in February 1944.

As a result of Orson Welles one of the inventors of the Magic Lantern (whose prototype was finally completed by Austro-American actress and inventor Hedy Lamarr) loving to direct films in black and white, the world Van Helsing found himself in as he was time travelling was often in black and white.

“So, Mr. Van Helsing,” the human formed goddess Atargatis greeted him as he landed on her Persian rug in her elegant New York City suite, “I suppose you’re here to ask, where have I hidden the Greek sea god Poseidon’s trident?”.

Van Helsing decided to engage in French kissing with the elegant black silk blouse and elegant white skirt wearing northern Syrian goddess instead.

As for the whereabouts of Poseidon’s trident… well that was all Greek to Van Helsing.

. . .


The mermaid Priyanka on the rocks at Vancouver’s English Bay.

Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol was walking along the beach at Vancouver’s English Bay.

He had spent the past couple of weeks traversing British Columbia’s Sechelt Peninsula trying to find Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s marijuana pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever who had been abducted by the Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (the daughter of Fu Manchu) as vengeance for the Canadian arrest at Vancouver International Airport of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou.

The pot smoking cactus plant would be freed when Meng Wanzhou was fully freed.

The plant had been hidden in the pot smoke covered hippy village of Calypso’s Bosom (a New Age Aquarian Age equivalent of Scotland’s mystical village of Brigadoon) on the Peninsula that had vanished off the face of the earth back in 1969 when Neil Armstrong said “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for…” and there the transmission had ended when all the hippy commune members’ minds had blown simultaneously and the village had disappeared in a mystical marijuana laced mist of pot smoke.

The village/hippy commune only appeared once every 7 years for a single day and a single night.

Only supernatural entities such as vampiresses, gods and goddesses could access the village in the “meantime and in-between time” as an old Stampede Wrestling ring side announcer might phrase it.

Whitstable had hoped that by carrying the supernatural relic of the right hand middle finger of the last Knights-Templar Grand Master Jacques de Molay (the same middle finger that de Molay had raised towards his papal interrogators and his French Royal Army captors as he was being burnt at the stake on the night of March 18th 1314) in his pocket that he’d be able to locate the elusive village/hippy commune but no such luck.

It would be another few years before the village/hippy commune of Calypso’s Bosom appeared on its own again.

In the meantime Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was pulling his hair out (and might end up having to wear a toupee like his southern neighbour Donald Trump) until his pot smoking prickly little buddy Strawberry Fields Forever was returned to him.

As Whitstable approached the mermaid Priyanka leaning against a rock, he recognized her.

The mermaid might be able to help him with another case he was working on.

The Greek god of the sea Poseidon had recently reported to Interpol that his trident had been stolen.

“Excuse me, Priyanka,” Whitstable greeted the mermaid, “Do you know where Poseidon’s trident is?”.

. . .

World famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes was in Caracas Venezuela on a mission for the British government.

British House of Commons Covert Intelligence Committee Co-Chairman Renfield R. Renfield had decided that drastic action must be taken against Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro for Venezuelan Army soldiers gunning down innocent civilians who were trying to bring food and medical supplies across the Venezuelan-Brazilian border.

Sherrielock Holmes was across from Maduro’s Presidential Palace carrying a poison tipped umbrella.

The poison in the umbrella tip would render Maduro permanently impotent.

The only antidote to the “permanently impotent” poison would be a sperm transfusion from Donald Trump.

Something Maduro would be most reluctant to consider.

When Maduro left the palace, Sherrielock KO’d Maduro’s entire bodyguard with karate kicks.

She then injected the umbrella’s poisoned tip into Maduro’s penis.

The Venezuelan President was now permanently (as opposed to 95% of the time) impotent.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday February 23rd
2019.

Meanwhile in the room next door in the swank New York City hotel in February 1944, the Norse goddess Freya had knocked out Franz Kohler with a bottle of French champagne.

“What a sad waste of French champagne!” Freya thought to herself.

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Sol Invictus Set Leaves Berlin For London November 28th 1938

November 28, 2018 at 11:57 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

The London based wealthy Egyptian vampire and businessman Sol Invictus Set had spent the past week touring Berlin with Der Fuhrer Hitler’s personal architect Albert Speer.

Speer was telling Set all the exciting buildings and statues he planned to build when the city became Germania the capital of the world.

He even introduced Set to the Persian goddess Anahita who knew how to bring statues to life.

A rather obnoxious individual (in Set’s opinion) Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau kept following them around taking notes.

Thus preventing Set from having some private time to make out with her.

Anahita went flying back to Tehran yesterday November 27th.

So Set had no more reason to remain in Berlin.

He decided to fly back to London today.

There waiting for him on the airport tarmac and leaning on his plane’s wing was the Norse Germanic goddess Freya:

Later as the plane was flying back to London, the plane’s German co-pilot Werner Von Wagner remarked to his British co-pilot Albert Von Elgar, “It seems extra foggy over the channel today.”

“I think it’s because of what the Boss and Freya are currently doing in the single back passenger seat that’s fogging up the window,” Elgar replied.

“I wonder if Errol Flynn will be the actor they hire to play the Boss in a movie,” said Wagner as the plane landed in a lake in England’s Lake District so admired by William and Dorothy Wordsworth.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 28th
2018.

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International Goddesses and International Intrigue In Berlin November 1938

November 20, 2018 at 10:51 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The London based multimillionaire businessman ancient Egyptian vampire Set was spending the Feast Day of Saint Edmund King and Martyr (an early medieval king of East Anglia who was slain by Vikings in 869 AD) in Berlin, Germany.

After a dinner meeting with the Fuhrer Adolf Hitler and the highest ranking members of his government, Set returned to his hotel room.

There sitting on top of the piano in his room was the Norse Germanic goddess Freya wearing an evening dress:

After leaving the dinner party, SS head Heinrich Himmler returned to his room.

He was embarrassed that Der Fuhrer had spent time showing the London businessman photos of Finns raking leaves in the forest near Der Fuhrer’s Bavarian chalet The Berghof at the Berchtesgaden.

A Berlin tarot card reader had told Der Fuhrer that Finns raking leaves in the forest was good for preventing forest fires.

Himmler felt embarrassed to tell Der Fuhrer that the tarot card reader and her pet red spider monkey as well as her wigmaker had just been arrested by the SS for being frauds.

As he opened the door to his bedroom, there sitting on his bed was the Egyptian cat goddess Bastet:

Hitler walked back to his bedroom.

He figured that he had had quite a successful meeting with London businessman Sol Invictus Set.

Der Furher thought Set would make an excellent Prime Minister for Britain when he had incorporated that island kingdom into his Reich four or five years down the road.

As Hitler opened the door, he was surprised to see a lovely girl waiting for him on the bed:

The girl was Set’s niece Sekhmeta (the lion goddess Sekhmet disguised as a teen-aged girl supposedly descended from Set’s nephew Horus).

Unbeknownst to both Hitler and Set, the girl was a spy for British MP Winston Churchill.

Hitler’s architect Albert Speer was finishing up in his office for the day.

He was walking through the lobby of the building where he worked when he encountered this woman:

The woman was the ancient Persian goddess Anahita.

“Herr Speer,” the Persian goddess addressed him as a tarot card reader, a red spider monkey and a wigmaker were lead out of the building in handcuffs by the SS, “if you would really like to become a speer of destiny like Longinus’ that pierced the side of Christ, how would you like to know the secret of making life like statues that would actually come to life in Der Fuhrer’s future New Berlin of Germania?.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 20th
2018.

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Dracul Van Helsing Meets The Norse Goddess Freya

September 25, 2017 at 3:27 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The results of the German national election were in.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel had won a 4th term in office.

But the far-right ultra-nationalist AfD (Alternative fur Deutschland) came in 3rd place in the number of seats they won in the German Bundestag.

The Norse goddess Freya knew this would amount to trouble.

Already the Germanic god Wotan (whose Norse name was Odin) was making plans with the grey wolf formerly known as Adolf to take advantage of AfD’s surprising showing.

Ever since the bloodshed unleashed by German leaders Kaiser Wilhelm II and Fuhrer Adolf Hitler during the 20th Century, Freya thought of herself as more a Norse goddess rather than a Germanic goddess.

Today she would be meeting with vampire hunter and MI-6 agent Dracul Van Helsing to discuss the German election result and AfD’s showing.

Given his background in investigating matters supernatural and paranormal, Dracul would take note of Freya’s knowledge of the dark supernatural forces involved in AfD’s upsurge in popularity among the German electorate.

Plus Dracul Van Helsing was friends with British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield believed to be Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II’s most favoured choice to become Prime Minister should a National Unity coalition government be formed in the Westminster Parliament.

Freya sat there waiting for him.

Dracul Van Helsing approached.

“Are you ready to get started?” Freya asked.

“Yes,” Dracul answered, “but only if you take me over your knee and spank me first.”

“All right,” Freya adjusted her gray mini dress for she had been expecting this request, “lay across my skirt and I’ll spank you.”

She had heard that Dracul had made this request of other goddesses and vampiresses before entering into delicate negotiations.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday September 25th
2017.

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