The Norse Wolf Fenrir Visits Israel

July 26, 2017 at 3:30 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The Norse wolf Fenrir looked at the Rolex watch on his paw and realized that the Battle of Ragnarok wasn’t ready to begin just yet.

So he decided to go on another sightseeing tour somewhere in the world.

Today he chose Israel.

He danced with short skirted young Hebrew hotties in the most swinging nightclubs of Tel Aviv.

In Renfield R. Renfield like fashion, he had a hot fudge sundae poured over his head when he made an inappropriate pass at Wonder Woman film star Gal Gadot.

He then tried fishing in the Sea of Galilee where he didn’t have much luck catching fish either.

He stopped off in the village of Cana of Galilee where an archaeological dig was taking place.

The archaeologist was busy digging up 2000 year old bottles of wine.

Fenrir wondered what a 2000 year old bottle of wine tasted like and helped himself.

“God,” Fenrir thought to himself, “this is the best tasting wine I’ve ever tasted in my life.”

He then proceeded to drink up the other 11 excavated bottles of the 2000 year old wine.

He then stumbled his way to Jerusalem singing, “Roll out the barrel, we’ll have a barrel of fun, hic! for the gang’s all here…”

When he reached the Temple Mount, he wasn’t feeling so good.

So the Norse wolf Fenrir vomited all over the Temple Mount.

What came out in the flow of vomit was the undigested head of Hecate (the Greek goddess of witchcraft) that he had eaten a few months earlier.

As Fenrir stumbled his way in search of a pharmacy to cure his hang-over, he left the head behind on the Temple Mount.

Palestinians heading for prayer on the Haram al-Sharif were angry when they saw the head of Hecate and shouted towards a group of Jews praying at the Western Wall, “You’ve desecrated our place of prayer by dumping this head here.”

The Jews angrily responded, “What do you mean? Cutting people’s heads off is a Muslim thing. That is when you’re not busy blowing yourselves up and blowing up other people in the process. We don’t do severed heads. Our weapons are Uzis, tanks, missiles and planes.”

The exchange sparked more violence and another day of rioting.

Such was the climate to be found in the City of Peace.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 26th
2017.

Gal Gadot
Gal Gadot: Poured hot fudge sundae over the all paws and awfully fresh Norse wolf Fenrir.

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The Cat Who Ate Wolves For Breakfast (Plus Lunch and Supper)

April 20, 2017 at 5:03 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Russian Spetsnaz special forces who had parachuted into Kiev last Thursday under the command of the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith were werewolves.

They were a special type of werewolf.

Each soldier was a bodark werewolf.

A bodark is a person who wants to become a werewolf in Russia (as opposed to a a wawkalak who was just turned into a werewolf through the evil actions of the Devil).

To become a bodark, a person would run into a forest and stab a copper knife into a tree (while such an action might be pleasing to manufacturers of copper knives as well as those with huge investments in the copper industry, the undertaking doesn’t go over so well with Greenpeace and tree huggers everywhere).

While still holding on to the knife in the innocently stabbed tree, the would-be bodark is required to repeat this chant:

“On the sea, on the ocean, on the island, on Bujan,
On the empty pasture gleams the moon, on an ashstock lying
In a green wood, in a gloomy vale.
Toward the stock wandereth a shaggy wolf.
Horned cattle seeking for his sharp white fangs;
But the wolf enters not the forest,
But the wolf dives not into the shadowy vale,
Moon, moon, gold-horned moon,
Cheek the flight of bullets, blunt the hunters’ knives,
Break the shepherds’ cudgels,
Cast wild fear upon all cattle,
On men, on all creeping things,
That they may not catch the grey wolf,
That they may not rend his warm skin
My word is binding, more binding than sleep,
More binding than the promise of a hero!”

Once the tree has been stabbed and the incantation chanted (with Taylor Swift singing “Boys only want love if it’s torture” in the background), the person runs off into a forest and changes into a werewolf as he does so.

Once these Russian Spetsnaz special forces soldiers had become full-fledged grey wolf bodark werewolves, Vladimir Putin put these men under the command of the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith in a secret treaty he signed with her shortly after his 2014 annexation of Crimea.

Lilith’s Bodark Grey Wolf Squadron did not turn into werewolves during a full moon.

Instead they turned into werewolves after listening to an old Gramophone recording of Josef Stalin singing the Soviet National Anthem in concert with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (under a never revealed protocol of the Tehran Conference that was held from November 28th to December 1st 1943, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir were secretly flown to Moscow on December 26th 1943 (thereby missing out on Utah Boxing Day sales) to make the recording in musical choral accompaniment with Josef Stalin.

As Lilith played the recording turning the Russian Spetsnaz special forces commandos into grey wolf bodark werewolves, another grey wolf was walking the streets of Kiev.

The grey wolf was none other than the ancient Germanic god Wotan’s mortal son Adolf Hitler.

He had been granted permission to leave the Underworld by Hades and Persephone after Thor paid a visit on Odin/Wotan’s behalf requesting that they do so.

The grey wolf formerly known as Adolf stopped in its tracks when it heard the voice of Josef Stalin singing the Soviet National Anthem.

The grey wolf formerly known as Adolf visualized the Hungarian actor Bela Lugosi as Count Dracula saying, “Listen to him, the constipated dictator of the night. What a racket he makes.”

When the Gramophone finished playing and the commandos became grey wolf bodark werewolves, they were immediately attacked and eaten by a giant black cat.

The name of the giant black cat was Amorous Laetitia (whose name had inspired the title of a recent papal document although the first name was spelled differently in the Apostolic Exhortation).

Amorous Laetitia was the name of the personal pet cat and familiar of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft.

Hecate had recently been beheaded by Pan Goatee’s astrally projected laser machete while she was in her crone form.

The head had been taken to a New York City cryogenics lab but the lab had been broken into by Loki and Fenrir and Fenrir had eaten the head.

Since then, Amorous Laetitia had torn apart every wolf she had come across in hopes she’d find her mistress’ head.

When she didn’t find it, she just ate the rest of the disemboweled wolf,

After seeing the black cat Amorous Laetitia eat the Spetsnaz bodarks, the grey wolf formerly known as Adolf ran down an alley and entered a building for safety.

The building turned out to be Brodsky Synagogue which was Kiev’s largest.

The grey wolf formerly known as Adolf could not help but think that the gods of the universe were playing some sort of cosmic joke on him.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 20th
2017.

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Fenrir In Ukraine

March 5, 2014 at 6:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Fenrir In Ukraine

As Ukrainian military service men gazed out their bases in Crimea that were surrounded by Russian troops that the Vladimir Putin regime in Russia described as “private pro- Russian forces”, they happened to notice a strange sight.

Every so often a wolf would appear at some point outside the barracks.

Then he’d disappear.

Seconds later the same wolf would appear at another side of the barracks.

The wolf was the Norse wolf Fenrir preparing for the Battle of Ragnarok.

. . .

Israeli soldiers patrolling the Temple Mount in Jerusalem noticed a peculiar phenomenon.

Every so often a panther would appear.

Then as the soldier raised his rifle, the panther would disappear.

And then would appear again on another sector of the Temple Mount seconds later.

The panther was Konalu.

Konalu was a powerful being that was created and astral projected by the Norse wolf Fenrir’s powerful psyche.

. . .

The talks in Paris between Russia and the West over the situation in Ukraine made little progress.

As U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry and Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov grimaced at one another, a huge giant eye with wings flew above them.

The winged eye was the Eye of Horus.

Outside the building where talks were taking place a group of youths were listening on an iPod to that old Billy Idol song from the 1980s,

“Got no human grace
your eyes without a face…”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 5th
2014

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Winter Olympics Open In Sochi and More Fallout Over Kiev

February 7, 2014 at 8:39 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Winter Olympics Open In Sochi and More Fallout Over Kiev

Renfield R. Renfield and Amadeus Emanon were watching the highlights of the Opening Ceremony of the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi on BBC World News.

“Say,” Amadeus asked between munches of hot buttered popcorn, “isn’t that the Norse vampire Odin and the Norse vampire Thor walking on one side of the stadium and the Norse vampire Loki and the Norse wolf Fenrir walking on the other?”.

Renfield looked up from the book he was reading by early 20th Century Italian Marxist theoretician Antonio Gramsci and glanced at the screen, “Yes, I believe it is.”

The scene then switched to Bosnia-Herzegovina where anti- government protests had turned violent.

“Say isn’t that the Ancient Greek vampire Ares in the crowd eating a Mars bar?” Amadeus asked between sips from a bottle of Coca-Cola whose ingredients were listed in the Spanish language (which no doubt would have offended a U.S. Republican Congressman of the Tea Party variety).

“I believe so,” Renfield looked up from his iPhone where he was checking French President Francois Hollande’s Facebook status that read “I did not have sexual relations with that woman…” although he had written it in French.

As a comment below the status, someone had posted a photo of a cartoon caricature of Francois Hollande looking like an extended nose Pinocchio.

On the darkened streets of Sarajevo at night, the BBC News cameras showed the ghost of an assassinated Austrian Archduke walking around saying, “I am the ghost of Franz Ferdinand doomed these past one hundred years to walk the night…”

BBC World News then showed the streets of Kiev where the ancient Babylonian Vampiress Lilith was walking around hitting Ukrainian policemen on the head with a smart phone shaped spiked stiletto high-heeled shoe while a Ukrainian protestor whistled the theme song from the old 1960s American TV series Get Smart.

“I wonder what Lilith is doing in Kiev?” Amadeus asked as he reached into a bucket of chicken wings

“Maybe looking for a good recipe for Chicken Kiev,” Renfield responded while glancing through a biography of Neville Chamberlain.

The BBC News then showed a video of German Chancellor Angela Merkel looking apoplectic while blasting the United States for a derogatory remark that U.S. Assistant Secretary of State Victoria Nuland had made about the EU in a phone conversation with the U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine.

“F— the EU,” the bugged recording of the conversation had Victoria Nuland saying.

As Renfield flipped through the pages of a book called The Role of The Kama Sutra in Geopolitics and International Relations, Amadeus asked him, “Who do you suppose is responsible for bugging that phone conversation between Assistant Secretary of State Nuland and the U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine?”.

Renfield a renowned hacker, wiretapper and eavesdropper in his own right grinned but said nothing.

Outside the window of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s estate, a colossal raven sat in the branches of a giant oak tree and looking in and eavesdropping on Amadeus and Renfield started to crow, “It’s all a Jewish conspiracy. It’s all a Jewish conspiracy.”

The raven raised its right claw on which it had a black swastika decorated armband.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday February 7th
2014

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Lilith In Kiev

January 28, 2014 at 8:44 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Lilith In Kiev

Former U. S. President Jimmy Carter looked out the residence of his Georgia home as a rare and fierce snow storm raged outside.

In addition to the snow he was surprised to see the ancient Norse god Thor stumbling through the raging snow drifts clutching his hammer Mjolnir.

Following Thor and growling at him was the Norse wolf Fenrir.

Fenrir had around his neck a small barrel flask (like those worn by Saint Bernard dogs in the Swiss Alps) that had on it the words RAGNAROK OR BUST.

. . .

Ukrainian Prime Minister Mykola Azarov had just announced his resignation and that of the entire governing cabinet.

When the protesting crowds in the streets of the Ukrainian capital of Kiev heard the news, they erupted into loud cheers.

Standing in the midst of the protestors looking conspicuous in a long flowing white evening gown was the ancient but extremely young looking Babylonian vampiress Lilith (who was History’s first vampiress).

Lilith was checking her Nokia Lumia smart phone and had read on her BBC News app that Russian President Vladimir Putin had come down with severe heartburn following a dinner of Belgian waffles he had after an EU-Russia Summit held in Brussels.

Just then she got a text message from the Demon Asmodeus who was standing atop the Temple Mount in Jerusalem.

Asmodeus asked her to call him right away as he said something of great cosmic significance was about to happen.

Lilith also got a text message from one of Paris’ most exclusive fashion shoe stores saying the custom made order she had given for a pair of exclusive high fashion footwear had now come in and would she please call them right away.

Lilith pushed a button and sped dialed the number of the Paris shoe store.

A few seconds later she pushed another button and put an incoming call from the demon Asmodeus on hold.

. . .

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 28th
2014.

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