Kim Jong-un Puts His Ballistic Missiles On Display At Night Time 75th Anniversary Military Parade

October 10, 2020 at 10:58 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Today marks the 75th Anniversary of the founding of the Workers’ Party of Korea (which is the official name of North Korea’s ruling Communist Party).

It was on October 10th 1945 that the Workers’ Party of Korea was founded by Kim Il-sung after the Korean Peninsula was liberated from 35 years of Japanese Imperial rule following the Japanese surrender to the U.S. earlier in that summer of 1945.

Kim Il-sung founded the Communist state of North Korea in 1948 following the failure to reunite the two zones of the Korean Peninsula.

After the surrender of the Japanese in 1945, the Korean Peninsula was divided into two zones with the north occupied by the Soviet Union and the south occupied by the United States.

Negotiations on reunification failed in 1948 and two separate states were formed that year: the socialist Democratic People’s Republic of Korea in the north and the capitalist Republic of Korea in the south.

North Korea under Kim Il-sung invaded South Korea on June 25th 1950.

The invasion marked the start of the 3 year long Korean War that ended on July 27th 1953 in an armistice.

There has never been an official peace treaty signed between the two states.

Kim Il-sung kicked the bucket on July 8th 1994 and he was succeeded by his son Kim Jong-il.

Kim Jong-il led North Korea until one day it so happened that Kim Jong-il became so ill that he wound up Kim Jong-dead rather than Kim Jong-il.

This occurred on December 17th 2011 and he was succeeeded by his son the rather pudgy Kim Jong-un who took over as the new Supreme Leader of North Korea.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield gave a podcast talking about today’s rare night time military parade held just before dawn today October 10th 2020 to mark the 75th Anniversary of the Workers’ Party of Korea.

Renfield: Why was this parade held just before dawn you might ask?
Well the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit believes that it was because a vampire (who doesn’t have access to Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s Sunblock For Vampiresses which only seems to work on vampiresses- hence the name- but not on vampires despite the politically correct protestations of transgendered vampires to the contrary who always find themselves transfigured into piles of dust when they appear before Human Rights tribunals in the daylight to denounce what they say is sexist genderphobic advertising and labelling found on Set Enterprises’ products in an all-night pharmacy near you) wanted to see the parade.

It is the country’s first large scale military parade in two years and comes just weeks ahead of the U.S. Presidential election.

This year’s rare night time military parade featured intercontinental ballistic missiles.

North Korea has not featured ballistic missiles in any of its parades since President Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un held their first summit back on June 12th 2018 in Singapore.

Why is Kim putting his big ballistic missiles on public display?

Well the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit believes that Kim Jong-un’s far more savvy and far more intelligent sister Kim Yo-jong thinks that a Communist United States of America (which will occur if the Biden-Harris ticket wins in November) would be a far more greater threat to the world than the current Presidential Administration.

A Communist United States of America would incorporate the worst aspects of Communism (remember how expansionst Communist Russia was and how expansionist the current Communist Chinese regime is as it threatens all its neighbours the Philippines, Malaysia, Vietnam, Taiwan, India and Japan) and the worst aspects of American expansionism (note how the U.S. government seized territory from Mexico and the great First Nations tribes and confederacies such as the Iroquois, the Seminoles, the Apaches, the Lakota Sioux and many others to say nothing of the U.S. forcibly annexing the island kingdom of Hawaii in 1898 causing that brilliant young and promising leader the Crown Princess Ka’iulani of Hawaii to die of heartbreak to say nothing of the United States seizing control of Cuba and the Philippines in the Spanish-American War).

Notice how Kamala Harris boasted in the recent Vice-Presidential Debate that a whole bunch of Republicans (including members of George W. Bush’s cabinet) and numerous Generals had come out in favour of the Biden-Harris ticket.

What Harris and the mainstream Marxist media neglect to mention is that those same Republicans and generals were the same ones staunchly in favour of invading Iraq and launching perpetual wars and pre-emptive military strikes throughout the world.

The George W. Bush Doctrine (so strongly defended by the late Sen.John McCain) was the result of that neo-conservative policy document Project For The New American Century formulated back in the 1990s.

What people tend to forget was that most of the neo-conservatives who formulated that doctrine were ex-Trotskyites.

And remember how Leon Trotsky tried to expand Soviet Communism into Europe following the end of the First World War.

He was finally stopped by the Polish Army of Marshal Josef Pilsudski at the Battle of The Vistula 100 years ago in August 1920.

Kim Yo-jong has grasped what the rest of the world has not.

That a Communist United States of America (incorporating the worst aspects of Communist expansionism and the worst aspects of American expansionism) would be a greater threat to world peace than what a Communist Russia ever was or what a Communist China ever could be.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday October 10th
2020.

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Is Kim Jong-un On His Death Bed?

April 25, 2020 at 10:04 pm (Arts, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, Poetry, Short play, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Is Kim Jong-un On His Death Bed?

“The most compelling empirical evidence to date that North Korea’s Kim Jong-un might indeed be lying on his deathbed is Donald Trump’s recent statement that reports of Kim having a serious illness are “gross exaggerations” and “fake news”.

-Renfield R. Renfield MP

Kim Jong-un was lying on top of his bed in his best suit (he didn’t want to be caught wearing clothes that he wouldn’t want to be found dead in).

“Egg foo yung,” Kim whispered in a somewhat audible voice, “Egg foo yung.”

“He really should have better scriptwriters in my opinion,” commented the ghost of Orson Welles who had Charles Foster Kane saying the word “Rosebud” on his death bed.

Orson’s ghost had somehow managed to evade the spirits of Kim’s ancestors to enter the North Korean Presidential Palace and Kim’s Presidential suite bedroom.

A group of beautiful young North Korean women wearing lovely colourful dresses knelt at the bottom of the portly young Kim’s bed and wailed like a Greek chorus mourning the death of Adonis in a Classical Greek tragedy.

A gong sounded and the beautiful North Korean women’s chorus immediately stopped wailing.

“Our shift is over, girls,” said the leader of the women.

They departed giggling and laughing and talked about what they might have for supper and who’d they be dating next weekend.

A new group of beautiful young North Korean women wearing lovely colourful dresses took positions at the bottom of the portly young Kim’s bed and resumed wailing.

. . .

Kim Yo-jong (the younger sister of Kim Jong-un) stood in front of her mirror holding a bottle of Corona beer in one hand and a diamond, emerald, sapphire and jade laced golden crown in the other.

Kim Yo-jong (speaking) :

Does the hand of Fate bequeath a new crown?
As Thanatos smiles behind a silent frown?
Has a golden corona struck down a King so a Queen may reign?
An Olympic garland wreath comes to me via a crown spoken in Spain?
I call upon the spirits of my ancestors to bless me 
as a new journey I may undertake.
America’s trump has sounded from one whose golden crown is densely fake.
Yet will a disinfectant injection into my brother’s lungs will he take?

-A vampire novel chapter
and neo-Shakespearean soliloquy
written by Christopher
Saturday April 25th
2020 

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Trump Dances With Kim Jong-un On The Korean Border

June 30, 2019 at 10:41 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Trump Dances With Kim Jong-un On The Korean Border 

The London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was going to watch some news footage.

He would not be viewing the news footage on his smart phone or tablet or laptop as the old Egyptian deity had recently come down with a severe allergy to 21st Century technology.

His physician (who specialized in vampiric and other supernatural creature ailments) Dr. Henry Jekyll said that might be a good thing since it would make him less likely to accept the integrated Mark of the Beast system when the Antichrist took power on the world stage.

Set agreed that it might have its advantages.

So Set’s chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher had arranged a Set Enterprises team to download news off the Net, put it over on to old fashioned film, wind it on to old fashioned film reels, put them on a film projector and then project the images from the film projector on to a white screen in a darkened room.

Set would currently be watching uncensored news footage (not generally available to most of the world’s population) of United States President Donald Trump meeting North Korean leader Kim Jong-un on the border between the two Koreas on the Korean Peninsula earlier today.

The film showed Trump waving to Kim Jong-un in the DMZ (Demilitarized Zone) between North and South Korea.

The two men shook hands.

Kim invited Trump to step over the northern DMZ line across the border into North Korea.

Trump stuck his left leg across the border into North Korea and began to sing, “You put your left foot in… ” (puts his left foot across the border), “you take your left foot out” (takes his left foot back into the DMZ), “you do the hokey pokey and you shake it all about” (Trump spins around like an idiot while standing on his right leg alone as he shakes his left leg in the air as he spins around).

Mr. Trump then proceeded to do the same with his right foot, “You put your right foot in, you take your right foot out, you do the hokey pokey and you shake it all about” all the while doing the accompanying actions and spins between the DMZ line and the North Korean border using a different leg and foot this time.

“Is the President of the United States actually doing what my eyes seem to suggest he’s doing?” Set asked his butler and valet Athelstan.

“I believe he is, sir,” Athelstan answered.

“Well this explains why they now allow people from other countries to perform on the show America’s Got Talent,” Set started to eat his hot buttered popcorn as he sat in his theatre seat.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher 
Sunday June 30th
2019.

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Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un Singapore Summit Is On Again

June 1, 2018 at 10:12 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un Singapore Summit Is On Again

U.S. President Donald Trump had announced that the Singapore 🇸🇬 Summit with North Korean leader Kim Jong-un was on again.

In the background as the oranged hair leader made the announcement, his British butler and valet Lexington stood reading a copy of Robert Louis Stevenson’s book The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Trump told the assembled press that the North Korean envoy General Kim Yong-chol had hand delivered a letter from North Korean leader Kim Jong-un when the envoy met Trump at the White House.

Mr. Trump told the press that the letter was very interesting but later told them that he had not yet opened it.

Lexington (who could occasionally see dead people) noticed the ghost of Sigmund Freud (recently granted release from Purgatory by permission of Hades and Persephone) standing behind Trump writing ✍️ vigorously with his ghostly pen on ghostly notepaper.

Freud kept shaking his head and saying “Oy vey!” every time Trump opened his mouth.

Meanwhile at the Vatican, Pope Francis was busy discussing theories of the Collective Unconscious with Swiss Psychoanalyst Carl Jung (whose ghost had likewise been granted a reprieve from Purgatory by the Underworld’s royal ruling couple) and the Noosphere with the ghost of French Jesuit Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (who even more surprisingly had been granted a reprieve from the very depths of Tartarus itself).

“Isn’t Tartarus a bit like Hell in Jesus of Nazareth’s primitive mythology that He espoused to His Apostles?” Pope Francis asked the charcoal burnt Jesuit priest and paleontologist over a cup of Orange Pekoe tea ☕️.

Meanwhile Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster at Set Enterprises laboratories in London had telepathically entered the dreams of North Korean leader Kim Jong-un as he slept at his palace in Pyongyang.

Kim Jong-un was dreaming that he was dressed in drag as a female K-Pop princess and was singing 🎤 a song to Donald Trump.

He was singing those Katy Perry lyrics,

“ ‘Cause you’re hot then you’re cold
You’re yes then you’re no
You’re in then you’re out
You’re up then you’re down
You’re wrong when it’s right
It’s black and it’s white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up…”

Michelangelo woke up screeching in his aquarium at the sight of Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump kissing.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday June 1st
2018.

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Hephaestus and The Hwasong-15 Missile

November 29, 2017 at 8:28 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Hephaestus and The Hwasong-15 Missile

Hephaestus the Greek god of the forge was in his lodgings in Pyongyang the North Korean capital.

He had spent the day building missiles for North Korea’s leader Kim Jong-un.

His latest missile was the Hwasong-15 which had just been tested overnight.

Hephaestus had promised his wife Aphrodite a few months ago that he’d stop building missiles for Little Rocket Man Kim but he couldn’t keep his promise.

The problem was Hephaestus had become addicted to drinking a Korean distilled liquor called Munbaeju.

Munbaeju is a traditional distilled liquor made of malted millet, sorghum, wheat, rice and nuruk with a strength of 40% alcohol by volume.

The drink originates in the Pyongyang region of North Korea 🇰🇵 and is noted for its fragrance which is said to resemble the fragrance of the munbae tree (similar to a pear 🍐).

In fact, the name of the drink itself Munbaeju consists of two words munbae (which means “wild pear”) and ju (meaning “alcohol”).

The origins of Munbaeju are traced to the Goryeo Dynasty (Goryeo also spelled Koryo was a kingdom established in 918 AD by King Taejo. This kingdom of Koryo later gave rise to the modern name Korea).

The water used to produce Munbaeju comes from the Taedong River that runs through the North Korean capital of Pyongyang.

Seeing as how living in Pyongyang made Hephaestus close to the source of his beloved Munbaeju drink, he decided to continue building missiles for Kim Jong-un since by doing so, Kim gave the Greek god of the forge all the free Munbaeju he desired.

As for the Hwasong-15 missile Hephaestus had built, it had reached an altitude of 4475 kilometres (2780 miles) and flew 950 kilometres in 53 minutes in its overnight test.

In an analysis, the U.S. based Union of Concerned Scientists concluded that the Hwasong-15 could travel more than 13,000 kilometres thus reaching any part of the continental United States 🇺🇸 including the eastern seaboard or even Washington DC itself.

The conclusion caused a few hairs in Donald Trump’s toupee to turn grey and led him in such a rage that he retweeted a few of the ultra nationalist far-right Britain First videos.

Of course what the overnight test of the Hwasong-15 missile had to do with Muslim immigrants in Britain would only make sense to Trump’s uniquely personal form of reasoning.

As Hephaestus drank some of the Munbaeju, a barking otter soon joined him.

The barking otter was named Jefferey and came from the planet Nibiru (a planet that yes had otters similar to earthling otters).

Jefferey in fact used Munbaeju in the making of his own Otterbury Green Minnow Ale beer.

As the minnows in the Taedong River were quite fond of drinking Munbaeju and turned green after doing so.

Any geopolitical analyst worth his salt (as well as his unwasted margaritas in Margaritaville) would deduce that the alcoholic proclivities of Greek deities, Nibiruan otters and Taedong River minnows could spell unprecedented nuclear disaster for the world.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 29th
2017.

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David and Goliath

September 7, 2017 at 5:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , )

David and Goliath

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was having a dream.

He was dreaming that he was David in the Biblical story of David and Goliath.

The giant warrior Goliath of Gath stood there in his armour.

The giant raised his helmet but David (Netanyahu) could not see his face.

A mysterious cloud hovered in front of Goliath’s face.

David (Netanyahu) put his stone in a sling and slung it.

The stone immediately hit Goliath in the forehead.

Goliath (whoever he was whose face was hidden behind the cloud) fell to the ground dead.

Netanyahu awoke and wondered, what did the dream mean?

And who did the figure of Goliath in the dream represent?

. . .

North Korean despot Kim Jong-un went to bed.

He had his teddy bear with him.

The teddy bear wore the hat and clothes and had the facial features and razor sharp long fingernailed glove of his favourite American movie character Freddy Krueger.

One of his aunts had told his parents that she really didn’t think such a teddy bear was appropriate for a child when he first requested it when he was 3 years old.

Kim responded to his aunt’s interference by poisoning her green tea- the first of many deaths he’d arrange throughout his life.

Kim hung on to his teddy bear and sucked his thumb and fell asleep 😴.

He dreamed that he was in a story that a Russian Orthodox priest visiting his dad’s palace in Pyongyang had told him as a small child.

He dreamed that he was some kid from long ago called David.

And a huge giant stood in front of him.

Goliath of Gath was the giant’s name Kim recalled.

The giant’s breastplate bore the colours and Stars and Stripes of the American flag 🇺🇸.

Goliath lifted his helmet and David (Kim) could see the face of Donald Trump.

“Fire and fury,” said the giant.

Behind him the giant’s advisers said, “They don’t have the capability of producing nuclear weapons. Their intercontinental ballistic missiles won’t work.”

A Philistine general said, “We may have to annihilate this small country.”

David (Kim) put the stone (in the shape of an intercontinental ballistic missile carrying an H-bomb warhead) into his sling and slung it.

The stone hit Goliath (Trump) in the middle of the forehead.

Goliath (Trump) fell to the ground dead and a large mushroom cloud went up into the atmosphere as he fell.

Kim Jong-un awakened with a huge smile on his face.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 6th
2017.

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Haiku About North Korea’s 🇰🇵 Kim Jong-un

August 10, 2017 at 5:09 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Poetry) (, , , )

Haiku About North Korea’s 🇰🇵 Kim Jong-un

Despot Kim Jong-un
like Kaiser Wilhelm he cares
not for ruin war brings

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Dracul Van Helsing and The 84-Year-Old Kidnapping Mystery

May 18, 2017 at 4:03 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dracul Van Helsing had just received a text message from the Greek goddess Aphrodite.

She had gone to Pyongyang North Korea and convinced her husband Hephaestus to stop building missiles for Kim Jong-un.

He agreed.

The trouble was he had already built 666 missiles for Kim Jong-un.

And the missile of his that North Korea had launched this past weekend had been successful.

In addition, an ancient Persian talismanic image that had been painted on each missile (showing the image of a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull with the words IN HOC SIGNO VINCES above the image) seemed to ensure the missiles’ success.

Kim Jong-un had been instructed to paint the image and the accompanying Latin slogan on his missiles by a beautiful Korean vampiress who was a disciple of the Persian demonic god-prince Ahriman.

The Korean vampiress appeared wearing a white gown to Kim Jong-un and gave him his instructions.

She was known to Kim only as the Mysterious Woman In White.

Aphrodite’s information to Dracul had been confirmed in a report sent to him by his friend Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

Whitstable did not tell Van Helsing that the source for his information was Dracul’s ex-girlfriend the South Korean vampire huntress Hyung Grace Kwan (now an agent for the South Korean National Intelligence Service who was currently spying in North Korea).

Dracul decided to phone Whitstable to further discuss the report.

After rehashing what had been said in the original report, Whitstable said, “Oh Dracul, there’s something else.”

“What would that be?” Dracul asked.

“Kim Jong-un apparently has an advisor- an Englishman who was loaned to him from the People’s Republic of China,” Whitstable stated.

“An Englishman who used to work for the People’s Republic of China and now works for North Korea’s dictator?” Dracul was amazed, “Who is this Englishman?”.

“Do you recall reading in your history books about the kidnapping of Byron Jennings back in the early 1930s?” Whitstable inquired.

“That was the case referred to by the North American press at the time as Britain’s Charles Lindbergh Jr. Kidnapping,” Dracul recalled, “although Byron Jennings was considerably older than Charles Lindbergh Jr. Byron was the grandson of a leading member of the British House of Lords at the time Lord Oswald Jennings as well as the son of a not so leading British Conservative MP of the day Spencer Jennings. Rumour had it that Byron had been kidnapped by Mei-ling Manchu the real life daughter of the real life Fu Manchu.”

“That is correct, Dracul,” Whitstable acknowledged, “and that’s who is currently advising Kim Jong-un. None other than Byron Jennings who was kidnapped as an 8-year-old-boy 84 years ago.”

“Good lord,” said Dracul, “he must now be in his 90s.”

“He is,” Whitstable admitted, “but he doesn’t look it. He’s a vampire.”

“Really?” said Dracul, “Who turned him into a vampire?”.

“Mei-ling Manchu the daughter of Fu Manchu,” Whitstable answered, “who’s currently alive and Undead and well and living as a vampiress in Beijing.”

After talking with Whistable for a while longer, Dracul then telephoned Inspector Depp of Scotland Yard and told him to finally close the books on an 84-year-old kidnapping mystery.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 18th
2017.


Mei-ling Manchu becoming a vampiress after becoming a red dress Communist.

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Renfield In Egypt and Then Germany

April 29, 2017 at 2:33 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

After the papal speech at al-Azhar University in Cairo, Pope Francis and the Egyptian vampire Osiris met behind closed doors with Islamic leaders from across the Muslim world.

A phone call from the conference room was put in to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and the Chief Rabbis of Israel.

Renfield R. Renfield who had bugged the room made notes.

“That’s very interesting,” Renfield thought to himself.

He left the notes on the table in his Cairo hotel room and put in a call to his boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set letting him know the developments.

“What,” Set seethed, “that bastard Osiris! Why does everyone want to make deals with him and not me?”.

“The world has bad taste, boss,” Renfield replied as he flicked through the Cairo hotel TV guide and noticed the reality TV shows Survivor and also Big Brother Canada were available on the hotel’s TV programming.

“What the world needs is a statue of Set in the proposed ecumenical Interfaith Temple in Jerusalem,” Set started pulling his hair out with his razor sharp fingernails in a dramatic barber like scene that hadn’t been seen since the days Johnny Depp played Edward Scissorhands.

Meanwhile over in North Korea, Kim Jong-un was busy sobbing on to his teddy bear (that had the face of Anthony Hopkins as Dr. Hannibal Lecter on it), “That woman in my dream told me that if I painted an image of a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull on my ballistic missiles, they’d launch successfully.”

The beautiful Korean woman in the white gown (from his dream) appeared behind him in reality and kicked him in the ass and told him, “I also told you to write the Latin words IN HOC SIGNO VINCES above the image, you idiot.”

Renfield decided to stop off in Germany on his way home from Cairo.

He had received a message from his new found ally the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

There was important business that Renfield had to attend to in Bavaria.

In a quiet Bavarian village, Herr Dummkopf Drecksack was a driving test administrator.

He was the motherfucking asshole of all driving test administrators.

He had just given a hard time to a personal friend of Dracul Van Helsing and Renfield R. Renfield.

Flunking her for making one mistake.

Renfield followed the pink velvet pants wearing Herr Dummkopf Drecksack as he walked down the street.

He followed him to a post office where the man picked up a dozen packages of viagra and a dozen packages of cialis.

He then put them in his brown coloured VW bug and drove home.

Inside his house, he lit a candle in front of the giant photo of Adolf Hitler above his black altar.

“Like Adolf, do you?” Renfield said behind him.

“What the?-” Herr Dummkopf Drecksack turned around.

That evening, Berlin’s national TV news channel reported, “The driving test administrator was found hanging from his rusty brown VW bug in the middle of the town square with his pants and underpants pulled down and a dozen packages of viagra hanging from his right arm and a dozen packages of cialis hanging from his left arm…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 29th
2017.

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Kim Jong-un’s Strange Dream

April 27, 2017 at 4:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un had had a busy day.

He spent part of it overseeing the executions of people he deemed his “enemies”.

That took more than half his day. Finally he had to leave the execution site and attend to his other chores.

The other part of the day he spent inspecting the milking of cows while he smiled benignly with dairy workers in photos taken and released to the international press to show the world what a nice happy go-lucky guy he was.

Kim did wonder though why it took North Korean Red Army soldiers pointing their guns at them to force the North Korean dairy workers to smile.

Of course those soldiers with pointed guns weren’t shown in the photos released to the international press.

Kim then went home to bed where he had another beautiful North Korean Red Army female soldier waiting for him to attend to his special needs.

Once again trying to raise a certain part of his anatomy went about as successfully as most of his missile launches.

What a pity.

He would have to have his beautiful female companion for this night executed.

He couldn’t risk stories about his poor bedroom performance leaking out.

Kim Jong-un then watched a video of his half-brother Kim Jong-nam keeling over in Kuala Lumpur International Airport and dying.

Laughing, he turned off the TV and then the lights and went to sleep.

He dreamed he was walking by the ruins of an ancient temple that locals called the “Red Basilica”.

A voice from the Red Basilica hearkened unto him.

“Enter,” said the voice.

He entered the temple and there above the ruined altar, he saw a vision magically appear above it.

The vision showed a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull.

Above the vision of a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull were these words, IN HOC SIGNO VINCES.

As Kim’s knowledge of Latin was non-existent, a voice after several moments spoke these words, “In this sign, conquer.”

Since Kim’s English wasn’t so great either, the voice then spoke the same words in Korean.

Kim stood there with a stupid looking expression on his face.

Finally a beautiful Korean woman in a white gown appeared over the altar and said, “It means, you idiot, you take this vision you saw of the scorpion attacking the white bull and you paint it on your missiles and they will rise and perform and do what it is that they’re supposed to do.”

“Oh,” Kim answered.

He then woke up.

He then phoned his missile launch center and told them to paint a picture of a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull and then place a painting of the image on each one of his missiles.

He hung up the phone.

He then wondered if he should get a Pyongyang tattoo artist to put a tattoo of the image (a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull) on a certain part of his anatomy and he might get a better performance out of it.

No, Kim shook his head.

He had a vision of a Korean George Costanza (the name of a character from the American TV show Seinfeld) saying to him, “That’s gotta hurt.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 27th
2017.

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