The Odin Gungnir Rocket: From Wernher von Braun To Kim Jong-un

November 21, 2022 at 1:22 am (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Science, Spy Tales, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

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  • Yale University librarian Krista Shearer looks for a rare book of sonnets written by little known Irish ₱oet Sean McHendry as FBI S₱ecial agent Cameron Brown (on a mission for his boss FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover) looks on
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  • The year was 1937.
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  • The FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover did not really know what to make of the letter in front of him.
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  • Was it a crank? A ₱rank? A joke? An early… or… ₱ossibly a late… A₱ril Fool’s Day trick?
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  • The letter writer claimed that a young German aeros₱ace engineer by the name of Wernher von Braun had been visited in a dream by the Norse Germanic valkyrie Sigrdrifa who told him how to design a rocket based on the ₱ro₱erties of Gungnir the su₱ernatural s₱ear of the Norse god Odin (who was called Wotan in the legendary folklore of the Germanic ₱eo₱les).
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  • Wernher von Braun, the letter writer had claimed, had immediately awakened, sat down at his desk and had designed the rocket on a ₱iece of engineering draft ₱a₱er.
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  • Von Braun, the letter writer claimed, was however quite worried that the USSR’s Josef Stalin might set out to invade and conquer the rest of Euro₱e including Germany and the rocket design might fall into Stalin’s hands.
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  • Von Braun, the letter writer had claimed, decided to hide the design over in America where it stood less chance of falling into Stalin’s hands.
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  • One of Wernher von Braun’s mother’s favourite writers was a little known 19th Century Irish ₱oet by the name of Sean McHendry who wrote sonnets.
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  • A₱₱arently the very first ₱rinted edition of Sean McHendry’s first ₱ublished edition of sonnets was to be found in the Yale University Library.
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  • The young German aeros₱ace engineer Wernher von Braun thought that the young Irish ₱oet Sean McHendry, who died young after falling off the Cliffs of Moher and drowning in the Atlantic Ocean while busy ₱ondering the stars in the night sky, ₱robably would never become well known and therefore there was no chance of anyone checking out his book of sonnets from the Yale University Library.
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  • The only one who would ₱robably check out that book of Sean McHendry sonnets would be Wernher von Braun’s own mother and she had vowed never to visit Connecticut (where Yale University was located) after she had read Mark Twain’s book A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur’s Court.
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  • Therefore, Hoover read in the letter, von Braun had sent the rocket design drawing with a friend to America where the friend had inserted it in the ₱ages of little known Irish ₱oet Sean McHendry’s book of sonnets.
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  • Hoover sat back in his chair.
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  • He knew that agents for other countries’ intelligence services were always following him.
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  • He knew that ₱eo₱le who worked for that vile, disgusting and most re₱ulsive grou₱ of all- the American ₱ress- were also always following him.
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  • Therefore he himself couldn’t bloody well walk into the library of Yale University in New Haven Connecticut and check out a book of sonnets written by a little known Irish ₱oet without ₱eo₱le becoming sus₱icious.
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  • Hoover got on the ₱hone to one of his to₱ S₱ecial agents Cameron Brown.
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  • It was a good thing that Hoover had sent agent Cameron Brown on that mission to check a book out of the Yale University library.
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  • For Hoover had received an emergency ₱hone call from ₱resident FDR at the White House.
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  • A₱₱arently someone had stolen the ₱resident’s favourite cigarette holder and FDR wanted Hoover to ₱ersonally investigate.
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  • After a day of questioning all the White House staff in both the West and East Wings, Hoover determined that it was FDR’s dog who had stolen the ₱resident’s favourite cigarette holder.
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  • The dog was sent out to the dog house and FDR retreated to the White House smoking and billiards room.
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  • Yale University librarian Krista Shearer locates a rare book of sonnets written by little known Irish ₱oet Sean McHendry as FBI S₱ecial Agent Cameron Brown looks on.
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  • The finding of the book was the start of a beautiful friendshi₱ between Krista and Cameron. The two dated, got married a year later and then honeymooned in both ₱aris and Casablanca. A year later war broke out in Euro₱e although there was ₱robably no connection between the two events. /
  • In 194O they had a son S₱encer.
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  • S₱encer went on to become the Chief Librarian and Archivist for National Review Magazine a magazine founded by William F. Buckley Jr. a graduate of Yale University.
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  • It turned out the mysterious letter writer was right.
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  • Hoover found the Wernher von Braun rocket design of the Odin Gungnir rocket in the ₱ages of the book of Irish ₱oet Sean McHendry’s book of Sonnets.
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  • Hoover ₱ut the design in his own ₱ersonal files under the heading Missing Cigarette Holders and Canine Thieves.
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  • A North Korean s₱y found the files in 2O12.
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  • The rocket design was ₱laced without the athlete’s knowledge in one of basketball star Dennis Rodman’s large shoes in 2O13 when he made a tri₱ to North Korea.
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  • The design was removed from the shoe by North Korean Intelligence Agents when Rodman arrived in the country with his luggage.
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  • North Korea’s hereditary Communist dictator Kim Jong-un ₱resented Rodman with a number of gifts when the two met.
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  • Including a can of foot odour s₱ray on the recommendation of the North Korean Intelligence Service in memory of a dozen agents who had died in the line of duty on the day the rocket design was retrieved.
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  • After a s₱ecial chemical ₱rocess in which all traces of odour were removed from the Wernher von Braun Odin Gungnir rocket design drawing, North Korean engineers then set out to build the rocket.
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  • In the form of a missile.
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  • An intercontinental ballistic missile.
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  • The rocket was tested this ₱ast Friday at a missile launch at which Kim Jong-un had brought along his daughter (and ₱ossible heir) Kim Chu-ae.
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  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
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  • written by Christo₱her
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  • Sunday November 2Oth 2O22

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  • Hephaestus and The Hwasong-15 Missile

    November 29, 2017 at 8:28 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

    Hephaestus and The Hwasong-15 Missile

    Hephaestus the Greek god of the forge was in his lodgings in Pyongyang the North Korean capital.

    He had spent the day building missiles for North Korea’s leader Kim Jong-un.

    His latest missile was the Hwasong-15 which had just been tested overnight.

    Hephaestus had promised his wife Aphrodite a few months ago that he’d stop building missiles for Little Rocket Man Kim but he couldn’t keep his promise.

    The problem was Hephaestus had become addicted to drinking a Korean distilled liquor called Munbaeju.

    Munbaeju is a traditional distilled liquor made of malted millet, sorghum, wheat, rice and nuruk with a strength of 40% alcohol by volume.

    The drink originates in the Pyongyang region of North Korea 🇰🇵 and is noted for its fragrance which is said to resemble the fragrance of the munbae tree (similar to a pear 🍐).

    In fact, the name of the drink itself Munbaeju consists of two words munbae (which means “wild pear”) and ju (meaning “alcohol”).

    The origins of Munbaeju are traced to the Goryeo Dynasty (Goryeo also spelled Koryo was a kingdom established in 918 AD by King Taejo. This kingdom of Koryo later gave rise to the modern name Korea).

    The water used to produce Munbaeju comes from the Taedong River that runs through the North Korean capital of Pyongyang.

    Seeing as how living in Pyongyang made Hephaestus close to the source of his beloved Munbaeju drink, he decided to continue building missiles for Kim Jong-un since by doing so, Kim gave the Greek god of the forge all the free Munbaeju he desired.

    As for the Hwasong-15 missile Hephaestus had built, it had reached an altitude of 4475 kilometres (2780 miles) and flew 950 kilometres in 53 minutes in its overnight test.

    In an analysis, the U.S. based Union of Concerned Scientists concluded that the Hwasong-15 could travel more than 13,000 kilometres thus reaching any part of the continental United States 🇺🇸 including the eastern seaboard or even Washington DC itself.

    The conclusion caused a few hairs in Donald Trump’s toupee to turn grey and led him in such a rage that he retweeted a few of the ultra nationalist far-right Britain First videos.

    Of course what the overnight test of the Hwasong-15 missile had to do with Muslim immigrants in Britain would only make sense to Trump’s uniquely personal form of reasoning.

    As Hephaestus drank some of the Munbaeju, a barking otter soon joined him.

    The barking otter was named Jefferey and came from the planet Nibiru (a planet that yes had otters similar to earthling otters).

    Jefferey in fact used Munbaeju in the making of his own Otterbury Green Minnow Ale beer.

    As the minnows in the Taedong River were quite fond of drinking Munbaeju and turned green after doing so.

    Any geopolitical analyst worth his salt (as well as his unwasted margaritas in Margaritaville) would deduce that the alcoholic proclivities of Greek deities, Nibiruan otters and Taedong River minnows could spell unprecedented nuclear disaster for the world.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Wednesday November 29th
    2017.

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    Kwan Yin Meets Hyung Grace Kwan

    October 6, 2017 at 7:20 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

    Kwan Yin Meets Hyung Grace Kwan

    Kwan Yin the Buddhist Mother Goddess of Mercy walked the streets of Seoul South Korea 🇰🇷.

    During her mortal life, Kwan had been a princess given to acts of charity and compassion and helping the poor, sick and needy.

    She had had a few children during her mortal life.

    And those children had children of their own.

    And now today Kwan Yin was meeting one of her descendants the noted South Korean vampire huntress Hyung Grace Kwan.

    “Hyung,” Kwan said as she hugged and greeted her, “I have a warning for you, your people and the world.”

    “Does it involve Kim Jong-un?” Hyung asked.

    “No,” Kwan shook her head, “The dark forces act like stage magicians in that they always do something to distract the audience’s attention while they get to the main part of their trick. Kim Jong-un is just a distraction. Putin is the main act.”

    “Putin?” Hyung’s jaw dropped.

    “Yes, Putin is being advised by the demon Moloch,” Kwan said, “only Moloch is appearing to him in the form of the Archangel Michael. So Putin thinks he’s being advised by Saint Michael the Archangel when he isn’t. And that is a very dangerous situation for the world.”

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Friday October 6th
    2017.

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    Donald Trump’s Inspirational Pre-Fry Kim Jong-un Day Speech To U.S. Troops

    August 12, 2017 at 3:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, Literature, News, Poetry, Satire) (, , , , , , )

    Donald Trump’s Inspirational Pre-Fry Kim Jong-Un Day Speech To U.S. Troops

    (with apologies to Will Shakespeare and Henry V over the Saint Crispin’s Day speech)

    Donald Trump, preparing for war with North Korea, is set to address the troops.

    He is informed by the ghost of the late U.S. Army General William Westmoreland that all transgendered enlisted have now left the U.S. Army.

    Donald Trump gazing at what’s left says, “We happy few…”

    Trump (beginning speech):

    What’s he that twitters so?
    My heroes don’t die Westmoreland? No, my late General
    If we are marked to fry, we are enow
    To do our country loss, and if to live,
    The fewer men, the greater share of honour (if we ignore the lying news media)
    My will, I pray me, wish not one man more
    By Trump, I am not covetous for gold (for I have plenty already),
    Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost (whatever the Hell that’s supposed to mean
    I’ll have to fire my latest speechwriter or Chief of Staff or press secretary),
    It yearns me not if men my garments wear (for I am not transgendered- real men
    can wear my garments),
    Such outward things dwell not in my desires
    (save to grab a fair woman’s ass as I said long years ago),
    But if it be a sin to covet honour,
    I am the most offending soul alive
    (wow, this Bill Shakespeare was really prophetic
    concerning my Presidency).
    No faith my coz (save to attract Bible belt voters), wish not a man from England
    (since my campaign slogan was America First!).
    Trump’s pence! I would not lose so great an honour
    As one man more (my VP) methinks would share from me
    For the best hope I have (finishing my term without impeachment)
    O, do not wish one more!
    Rather proclaim it, Westmoreland, through thy ghost,
    That he which hath no stomach for this fight,
    Let him depart (or be deported); his passport shall be made (and then revoked!),
    And crowns for convoy put into his purse (when he is thrown beyon’ yonder wall);

    (At this point the amateur actor Snout from the Midsummer Night’s Theatre Company appears in front of Trump dressed as a brick wall. He has graffiti on his brick wall garment that says Gringoland or Bust!)

    Snout (as Wall);

    In this same interlude it doth befall
    That I, one Snout by name, present a wall;
    And such a wall, as I would have you think,…

    Trump (pointing): Someone get this idiot out of here! Security! Security! Throw the bum out!

    (Snout is grabbed by security and hauled away)

    Trump (continues his speech quite literally ghostwritten by William Shakespeare):

    We would not die in that man’s company
    That fears his fellowship to die with us.
    This day is called Fry Kim Jong-un Day
    (how Saint Hannibal of Lecter celebrated pre-Vatican II teaching on Friday’s culinary diets)
    He that shall live this day (shall feel he’s been microwaved) and comes peeling away home
    Shall watch his toes fall off when this day is named,
    And rouse him at the name of Kim Jong-un.
    He that shall live this day (singing Whoa, whoa, I’m radioactive) and welcome the New Age,
    Will yearly on the vigil feast on his neighbours (or at least their remains),
    And say ‘Tomorrow is Fry Kim Jong-un.’
    Then will he strip his sleeve (with his new metallic cyborg hands) and show his scars,
    And say, ‘These wounds I had on Fry Kim Jong-un Day.’
    Old men forget (sometimes that they’re wearing a toupee); yet all shall be forgot
    But he’ll remember, with cancerous sores,
    What feets he lost that day. Then shall our names
    Familiar in his mouth as decaying teeth-
    Donald The Trump, Mattis and Tillerson,
    McMaster and Kelly, Ivanka and Jared,
    Be in their flowing cups (and streams of blood red) freshly rememb’ red.
    This story shall the good man teach his son (Barron, where are you?);
    And Fry Kim Jong-un shall ne’er go by,
    From this day to the ending of the world (Trump looks at his watch) “Possibly another hour”,
    But we in it shall be remembered (if the lying news media says I’m senile, it’s fake news) –
    We few, we happy (but not gay) few, we band of brothers,
    For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
    Shall be my brother, be he ne’er so vile (as to be transgendered),
    This day shall toughen his condition;
    And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
    Shall think themselves lucky they were not here,
    And hold their (TV) remotes cheap while none will speak
    As they watch on the screen the mushroom cloud that fell on Fry Kim Jong-un Day.

    -A Shakespearean satirical speech
    written by Christopher
    Saturday August 12th
    2017.

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    Kim Jong-un and Lord Byron Jennings Plan For World Conquest

    August 11, 2017 at 8:08 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

    Kim Jong-un and Lord Byron Jennings Plan For World Conquest

    Sitting over the game board of Risk: The Game of Global Domination in a room that overlooked the Persian Zoroastrian demon Ahriman blest Greek god Hephaestus built intercontinental ballistic missiles of Kim Jong-un, the North Korean 🇰🇵 dictator Kim Jong-un and his British House of Lords member Maoist Communist adviser Lord Byron Jennings were planning world conquest as the Greek god Ares stood outside playing the theme music 🎶 from the movie Dr. Strangelove on his violin 🎻.

    Kim Jong-un was looking pleased as the fortune paper slip in his fortune cookie said You shall triumph over the man with the weird looking toupee.

    Kim took this as a good sign as he drank his green tea 🍵 and Lord Byron Jennings sipped on his Manhattan cocktail 🍸.

    Kim grinned beatifically at Lord Byron Jennings and asked, “So, how shall we begin this game of world conquest?”.

    “First we take Manhattan,” Lord Byron sipped his drink, “and then we take Berlin.”

    Outside 99 luftballons were sent into the air.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Friday August 11th
    2017.

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    Haiku About North Korea’s 🇰🇵 Kim Jong-un

    August 10, 2017 at 5:09 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Poetry) (, , , )

    Haiku About North Korea’s 🇰🇵 Kim Jong-un

    Despot Kim Jong-un
    like Kaiser Wilhelm he cares
    not for ruin war brings

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    Mei-ling Manchu and Kim Jong-un’s English Lord Adviser

    August 1, 2017 at 4:34 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

    Beijing-based Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu was starting to worry about one of her vampiric sires- Lord Byron Jennings.

    She had kidnapped Byron Jennings 84 years ago in London when he was an 8-year-old boy and had brought him back to China with her.

    Mei-ling Manchu had celebrated the birth of the People’s Republic of China on October 1st 1949 by allowing a vampire to bite her on the neck and turn her into a vampiress.

    She had turned her protege Byron Jennings into a vampire on June 25th 1950 to celebrate North Korea’s invasion of South Korea.

    When Kim Jong-un was declared supreme leader of North Korea on December 28th 2011, Beijing sent the Englishman Byron Jennings to Pyongyang to serve as an adviser to the new young North Korean leader.

    Just over a month ago, Byron Jennings celebrated his 67th vampiric birthday June 25th of this year by claiming his long dead late grandfather’s lordly title in the British House of Lords.

    Now the Maoist Communist Lord Byron Jennings was plotting with Kim Jong-un the destruction of the United States of America.

    Mei-ling Manchu felt that her Communist and vampiric protege Lord Byron Jennings and Kim Jong-un were going too far this time.

    So Mei-ling Manchu arranged a secret meeting in Tokyo with South Korean National Intelligence Service agent and former vampire huntress Hyung Grace Kwan.

    There at that meeting, Mei-ling Manchu delivered to Hyung Grace Kwan everything she knew about the evil plans of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un and his Communist British Lord adviser Lord Byron Jennings.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Tuesday August 1st
    2017.

    Mei-ling Manchu prior to her meeting with Hyung Grace Kwan in Tokyo.

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    Dracul, Aphrodite and Ares

    June 18, 2017 at 3:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

    When Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing returned to his office at MI-6 Diablos Nocturna Division Headquarters, he was surprised to see the Greek goddess Aphrodite sitting there waiting for him.

    “Aphrodite,” Dracul said, “What a pleasant surprise. Have you brought more news about Hephaestus?”.

    “No,” Aphrodite shook her head, “Hephaestus has given up building missiles for North Korea’s Kim Jong-un. He’s now working on building incredible machines for a steampunk genre sci-fi film about Jack the Ripper escaping down the Thames River in a submarine.”

    “I’ll have to see that movie when it comes out,” said Dracul.

    “Have you seen the new Wonder Woman film?” Aphrodite asked.

    “Not yet,” said Dracul, “but I’d like to. It sounds like an excellent film judging from the reviews. It’s set against the background of the First World War which I’ve recently started studying. The First World War is often overshadowed by World War II and yet World War II would not have happened without the events set in motion during World War I.”

    “Do you know what the film is about?” The goddess asked.

    “Diana battling Ares the god of war,” Dracul answered.

    “Yes, and the film seems to be somewhat prophetic,” Aphrodite stated, “my brother Ares is now under the impression that he should really start World War III at the moment.”

    “Well, all the chess pieces are certainly now in place,” Dracul conceded, “Vladimir Putin is in the Middle East, Donald Trump is in the Oval Office, Kim Jong-un is in the nuthouse playground building missiles, Saudi Arabia and Iran are now making war noises against one another, and an airhead is now Prime Minister of the British Empire.”

    “That’s about it,” said Aphrodite.

    Dracul Van Helsing alerted Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol as to the Greek war god’s plans.

    “Anything else?” Dracul inquired of Aphrodite.

    “Have you been a good boy this past week?” Aphrodite asked him.

    “No, I haven’t,” Dracul admitted, “I’ve been a very naughty boy.”

    “Well then,” Aphrodite smoothed her skirt, “you better get across my knee and I’ll give you a good spanking.”

    Dracul did so.

    Aphrodite gave him a good spanking.

    And then they made wild passionate love afterwards.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Sunday June 18th
    2017.

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    Dracul Van Helsing and The 84-Year-Old Kidnapping Mystery

    May 18, 2017 at 4:03 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

    Dracul Van Helsing had just received a text message from the Greek goddess Aphrodite.

    She had gone to Pyongyang North Korea and convinced her husband Hephaestus to stop building missiles for Kim Jong-un.

    He agreed.

    The trouble was he had already built 666 missiles for Kim Jong-un.

    And the missile of his that North Korea had launched this past weekend had been successful.

    In addition, an ancient Persian talismanic image that had been painted on each missile (showing the image of a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull with the words IN HOC SIGNO VINCES above the image) seemed to ensure the missiles’ success.

    Kim Jong-un had been instructed to paint the image and the accompanying Latin slogan on his missiles by a beautiful Korean vampiress who was a disciple of the Persian demonic god-prince Ahriman.

    The Korean vampiress appeared wearing a white gown to Kim Jong-un and gave him his instructions.

    She was known to Kim only as the Mysterious Woman In White.

    Aphrodite’s information to Dracul had been confirmed in a report sent to him by his friend Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

    Whitstable did not tell Van Helsing that the source for his information was Dracul’s ex-girlfriend the South Korean vampire huntress Hyung Grace Kwan (now an agent for the South Korean National Intelligence Service who was currently spying in North Korea).

    Dracul decided to phone Whitstable to further discuss the report.

    After rehashing what had been said in the original report, Whitstable said, “Oh Dracul, there’s something else.”

    “What would that be?” Dracul asked.

    “Kim Jong-un apparently has an advisor- an Englishman who was loaned to him from the People’s Republic of China,” Whitstable stated.

    “An Englishman who used to work for the People’s Republic of China and now works for North Korea’s dictator?” Dracul was amazed, “Who is this Englishman?”.

    “Do you recall reading in your history books about the kidnapping of Byron Jennings back in the early 1930s?” Whitstable inquired.

    “That was the case referred to by the North American press at the time as Britain’s Charles Lindbergh Jr. Kidnapping,” Dracul recalled, “although Byron Jennings was considerably older than Charles Lindbergh Jr. Byron was the grandson of a leading member of the British House of Lords at the time Lord Oswald Jennings as well as the son of a not so leading British Conservative MP of the day Spencer Jennings. Rumour had it that Byron had been kidnapped by Mei-ling Manchu the real life daughter of the real life Fu Manchu.”

    “That is correct, Dracul,” Whitstable acknowledged, “and that’s who is currently advising Kim Jong-un. None other than Byron Jennings who was kidnapped as an 8-year-old-boy 84 years ago.”

    “Good lord,” said Dracul, “he must now be in his 90s.”

    “He is,” Whitstable admitted, “but he doesn’t look it. He’s a vampire.”

    “Really?” said Dracul, “Who turned him into a vampire?”.

    “Mei-ling Manchu the daughter of Fu Manchu,” Whitstable answered, “who’s currently alive and Undead and well and living as a vampiress in Beijing.”

    After talking with Whistable for a while longer, Dracul then telephoned Inspector Depp of Scotland Yard and told him to finally close the books on an 84-year-old kidnapping mystery.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Thursday May 18th
    2017.


    Mei-ling Manchu becoming a vampiress after becoming a red dress Communist.

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    Kim Jong-un’s Strange Dream

    April 27, 2017 at 4:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

    North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un had had a busy day.

    He spent part of it overseeing the executions of people he deemed his “enemies”.

    That took more than half his day. Finally he had to leave the execution site and attend to his other chores.

    The other part of the day he spent inspecting the milking of cows while he smiled benignly with dairy workers in photos taken and released to the international press to show the world what a nice happy go-lucky guy he was.

    Kim did wonder though why it took North Korean Red Army soldiers pointing their guns at them to force the North Korean dairy workers to smile.

    Of course those soldiers with pointed guns weren’t shown in the photos released to the international press.

    Kim then went home to bed where he had another beautiful North Korean Red Army female soldier waiting for him to attend to his special needs.

    Once again trying to raise a certain part of his anatomy went about as successfully as most of his missile launches.

    What a pity.

    He would have to have his beautiful female companion for this night executed.

    He couldn’t risk stories about his poor bedroom performance leaking out.

    Kim Jong-un then watched a video of his half-brother Kim Jong-nam keeling over in Kuala Lumpur International Airport and dying.

    Laughing, he turned off the TV and then the lights and went to sleep.

    He dreamed he was walking by the ruins of an ancient temple that locals called the “Red Basilica”.

    A voice from the Red Basilica hearkened unto him.

    “Enter,” said the voice.

    He entered the temple and there above the ruined altar, he saw a vision magically appear above it.

    The vision showed a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull.

    Above the vision of a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull were these words, IN HOC SIGNO VINCES.

    As Kim’s knowledge of Latin was non-existent, a voice after several moments spoke these words, “In this sign, conquer.”

    Since Kim’s English wasn’t so great either, the voice then spoke the same words in Korean.

    Kim stood there with a stupid looking expression on his face.

    Finally a beautiful Korean woman in a white gown appeared over the altar and said, “It means, you idiot, you take this vision you saw of the scorpion attacking the white bull and you paint it on your missiles and they will rise and perform and do what it is that they’re supposed to do.”

    “Oh,” Kim answered.

    He then woke up.

    He then phoned his missile launch center and told them to paint a picture of a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull and then place a painting of the image on each one of his missiles.

    He hung up the phone.

    He then wondered if he should get a Pyongyang tattoo artist to put a tattoo of the image (a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull) on a certain part of his anatomy and he might get a better performance out of it.

    No, Kim shook his head.

    He had a vision of a Korean George Costanza (the name of a character from the American TV show Seinfeld) saying to him, “That’s gotta hurt.”

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Thursday April 27th
    2017.

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