Renfield Crashes Vladimir Putin’s Inauguration

May 7, 2018 at 10:57 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Science, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Renfield Crashes Vladimir Putin’s Inauguration

Today Monday May 7th 2018.

Vladimir Putin is inaugurated President of Russia for the 4th time.

The ceremony is held in an ornate Kremlin hall in front of 5000 guests.

It was the same hall used for the coronations of Czars Alexander II, Alexander III and Nicholas II.

Putin walked alone through several hallways and several rooms to the swearing-in ceremony.

He was hailed by the guests as the omnipotent Saint George ready to slay the Western dragon 🐉.

After being sworn in, Putin then gave the Inaugural Address to those assembled.

It was at that moment that British MP Renfield R. Renfield appeared carrying a machine gun.

Observers from the FSB (Russia’s state security intelligence service) recognized the weapon as one that had been given to Mr. Renfield by Oliver North the newly appointed President of the NRA (National Rifle Association).

Mr. North had bought the weapon from a Walmart store when he went in dressed as Napoleon Bonaparte but wearing an Adolf Hitler moustache under his nose.

Ollie (as Ronald Reagan used to call him) was not asked to produce any ID when he purchased the weapon while singing the song, “I want to mow down and kill hundreds of people today.”

FSB agents immediately started firing their guns at Renfield but he kept on going.

Even stranger no blood flowed from the MP.

The agents looked at one another terrified.

Mr. Renfield pulled a giant Bavarian sausage out of his vest jacket (he was wearing a sharp looking Armani suit) and hit former German Chancellor Gerhard Schröder (a staunch Putin supporter and current head of a branch of Russian gas giant Gazprom) over the head with it.

The sausage seemed to go right through Mr. Schröder causing him a great amount of pain.

“Bumsun it all to Hell!” Herr Schröder shouted in a mixture of German and English.

Renfield then pointed his gun at Putin and fired the trigger.

The Russian leader ducked.

The mysterious bullets left laser marks on the podium.

Finally FSB agents tackled Renfield and he vanished into thin air.

“It’s a bloody hologram,” Putin shouted as he got up off the floor, “who the Hell is manipulating that?”.

Putin was right.

It was a hologram invented by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher in a technological race with French government scientists to invent the perfect holographic image.

Dr. Rocher won the contest because he developed a holographic image of Renfield R. Renfield whereas French government scientists only invented a holographic image of French President Emmanuel Macron.

DARPA scientists in the U.S. decided not to take part in the race to develop the perfect holographic image as the Oval Office Executive Order directive from above directed them to make a holographic image of Donald Trump dressed only in leopard skin briefs and even the killer robot designing mad scientists at DARPA had yet to descend into that level of evil and madness.

Again Putin’s voice echoed through the Kremlin hall, “It’s a bloody hologram and I want to know who is manipulating it?”.

In his lobster tank at London’s Set Enterprises laboratory, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was using one claw to operate the joystick of the Cadbury Rocher designed waterproof PlayStation that controlled the Renfield holographic image in Moscow and with his other claw he was using it to play the harmonica in a beautiful musical rendition of Henry Mancini’s Moon River.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 7th
2018.

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