The Vampiress Priestess of Baal and Pope Francis On Karl Marx’s 200th Birthday

May 5, 2018 at 11:39 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Vampiress Priestess of Baal and Pope Francis On Karl Marx’s 200th Birthday

Pope Francis felt very regretful over the fact that he hadn’t been allowed to canonize Karl Marx today May 5th 2018 (Marx’s 200th birthday) as a birthday present to the philosopher who gave birth to atheistic Marxism.

He had felt so badly about it that he had wired some money to London gypsy fortune 🔮 teller and psychic Dulcinea Lucia asking her to place some flowers 💐 on Marx’s grave accompanied by a written note of papal apology for not being able to canonize him and admit him to the Catholic Communion of Saints.

The Modernist Jesuit Father Jorge Mario Bergoglio (stage name: Pope Francis) then thought about a statement he had made yesterday (Friday May 4th 2018) to a papal audience at which nuns, monks and priests were present.

The pontiff had told those who were consecrated to the religious life that “The Holy Spirit is a disaster because He never tires of being creative.”

Reflecting on this remark, the heretically inclined pontiff then hopped and skipped through the halls of the Vatican totally oblivious to a statement Christ had made 2000 years ago on this subject.

Christ had said that anyone who blasphemes the Son of Man, it could be forgiven him.

However he who commits blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, it would not be forgiven him.

This would no doubt just be the latest in an ongoing series of statements that Francis has been making since he was elected Pope in 2013.

Statements that had caused many Protestants and even many Catholics to seriously wonder if Pope Francis wasn’t the False Prophet prophesied in the Book of Revelation (called The Apocalypse in Catholic Bibles) Chapter 13 verse 11.

Of course both the world and the media loved Pope Francis (but hadn’t Christ warned, “Woe unto you, when all men speak well of you! for so did their fathers to the false prophets.” – Luke 6:26 KJV).

Then Francis remembered the phone conversation he had last night with the Egyptian Vampiress Isis and French President Emmanuel Macron.

The pair had called from Paris although the Macron who was present with Isis was in fact a holographic image (created by France’s top scientists) as the real President Macron was busy visiting the South Pacific French island of New Caledonia after a trip to Australia 🇦🇺 in which he had called the Australian Prime Minister’s wife Lucinda Turnbull delicious (causing British MP Renfield R. Renfield to quip that Macron was probably tired of eating the same old cougar pussy night after night and wanted to vary it up a little).

And speaking of Renfield R. Renfield, he was currently trying to breach the wall of the Vatican gardens on a mission for his former boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

Set had heard that the head of Hecate (the Greek goddess of witchcraft) was currently located somewhere in the Vatican and he thought it might be advantageous to have his chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher clone Hecate.

A genetic clone of Hecate might serve as a powerful ally for Set in his ongoing millennia long war against his brother and brother-in-law Osiris.

Renfield found himself down off the Vatican wall and on to the ground a little quicker than he would have liked.

“That’s gotta hurt as George Costanza from Seinfeld would say,” Renfield quipped as his testicles took a licking and kept on ticking.

Renfield looked around and was surprised to see that the Vatican gardens still looked like autumn rather than spring whose season it now was.

He was even more surprised by the vision of the beautiful woman who now approached him:

https://pin.it/ke2lygz63h7u24

“Who are you?” Renfield asked somewhat taken aback by the heavenly apparition.

“I am Allatallahbel,” she gave him a warm enticing smile, “the Vampiress Priestess of Baal.”

“You’re one vampiress I’ve never heard of,” Renfield had to admit as his phallus came to life despite the soreness of his testicles.

“I’m not surprised,” she smiled seductively.

“So,” Renfield looked around, “do you know why the Vatican gardens still look like autumn when spring is in the air elsewhere in Rome?”.

“The Vatican gardens will soon be subject to the coming of an eternal winter,” the sensual Vampiress Priestess of Baal laughed a sinister film noir femme fatale laugh.

Renfield despite the passion and heat he was feeling at the moment was simultaneously starting to feel cold chills.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 5th
2018.

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Holy Saturday In Rome and The Blue Paschal Moon

March 31, 2018 at 10:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Holy Saturday In Rome and The Blue Paschal Moon

It was the evening of Holy Saturday in Rome- the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

As a great spotlight shone on the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica, speakers 🔊 in Saint Peter’s Square played the John Lennon song Imagine… “no Hell below us, above us only sky…”

And in the square, the Egyptian vampiress Isis wearing a red evening dress approached her husband, brother and lover Osiris who was standing next to the obelisk in Saint Peter’s Square.

He was dressed in white robes with gold sequins around his neck and on the white sleeves of his arms.

Isis smiled as she approached him, “The board of directors of Palmyra Analytica have informed me that Dr. Cadbury Rocher has successfully built the 3-D printer that will re-build the Temple of Solomon.”

“Excellent, now all we have to do is get the Israelis to agree to our terms,” Osiris beamed as bright as the Blue Paschal Moon in the sky.

The square speakers started playing the song Blue Moon as sang by Billie Holliday.

“What about the Palestinians?” the vampiress Isis asked.

“That’s going to be a little more difficult,” Osiris acknowledged.

The speakers suddenly interrupted with a news bulletin saying that the Ancient Greek winged horse Pegasus had landed on the Temple Mount.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday March 31st
2018.

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3-D Printing The Temple of Solomon

March 28, 2018 at 10:35 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Religion, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

3-D Printing The Temple of Solomon

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was sitting alone in his parliamentary office.

The ghost of Sir Winston Churchill wasn’t present because he was being forced to attend a ghostly cocktail party in Purgatory at which the ghost of Lady Astor would be present.

“Like Hamlet’s father’s ghost in Shakespeare’s famous Danish play,” Churchill roared in a paraphrase of Hamlet’s spectral paternal parent, “it is at parties like these where the bad things I did in my days of nature are thoroughly punished.”

“Well, it could be worse,” the atheist Renfield, with no belief in Purgatory, remarked sympathetically, “you could be in Tartarus where Hitler’s ghost is.”

Renfield was unaware that Hades the god of the Underworld had temporarily released Hitler’s spirit from Tartarus at the request of the Norse/Germanic god Odin/Wotan (Churchill’s ghost was likewise unaware of Hitler’s reprieve at the hands of Persephone’s husband).

Hitler’s spirit had entered the body of a grey wolf 🐺 and was currently hanging out with the anti-Semitic ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith as well as paying the occasional visit to Vladimir Putin although Putin was unaware that the grey wolf was possessed by Hitler’s ghost.

Speaking of Hitler and Putin, Renfield was quite pleased with himself because earlier today he had hacked into Russia’s state run television network and put in an image of Vladimir Putin with Hitler’s moustache and haircut that appeared on the TV screen whenever the network ran a news story where the Russian leader was mentioned.

Putin was absolutely livid and furious when he found out and gave the order to all of 🇷🇺 Russia’s intelligence services to find the one responsible and bump that person off with the Novichok nerve agent (at the same time as Putin issued the directive, Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov was giving a press conference in which he emphatically denied that Russia 🇷🇺 was in current possession of the nerve agent).

Renfield had tossed a few bread crumbs to the Russian intelligence services in his speech in the Commons today by continuously referring to Putin as “the Slavic Hitler” in his speech but so far the Russian agencies did not have an intellectual equivalent of Britain’s Sherlock Holmes to pick up on the Renfieldian hints.

Neither for that matter did America’s intelligence services since Donald Trump did not tweet about the subject.

Meanwhile Renfield R. Renfield was currently examining an MI-5 and MI-6 report on a British company called Palmyra Analytica.

The reason Renfield read the report as soon as he heard about it was because his creator Dr. Cadbury Rocher of Set Enterprises was currently doing freelance consulting work for Palmyra Analytica.

Dr. Rocher was building a 3-D printer for Palmyra Analytica.

The 3-D printer when completed would be capable of producing an exact copy (down to the smallest and most exact detail) of the original Temple of Solomon built by Solomon himself.

Renfield was horrified to discover when reading the report that Palmyra Analytica was in fact owned by a front company that was owned by his former boss Set’s arch enemies the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis and the Rome-based Egyptian vampire Osiris.

“Why,” Renfield wondered to himself, “do Isis and Osiris want to rebuild Solomon’s original Temple?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 28th
2018.

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Osiris Views Vatican Christmas Tree and Nativity Scene

December 23, 2017 at 9:06 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Osiris Views Vatican Christmas Tree and Nativity Scene

The Egyptian vampire Osiris had been invited by the Rome based spiritist medium Cassandra Sibylline to view the Vatican Christmas Tree and Nativity scene.

Osiris was worried that as a vampire, he might suffer intense pain viewing Christian symbols on the tree 🌲 and in the Nativity scene.

Osiris need not have worried.

For the decorations on the Vatican Christmas tree in Saint Peter’s Square this year were devoid of Christian religious symbols.

There were peace signs and yin/yang symbols but no angels, no depictions of the Magi and no images of Mary, Joseph or the Christ Child.

As for the Vatican Nativity scene, it did have Joseph, Mary, the Magi and the shepherds. It also had a naked man (who Cassandra Sibylline said looked “like the poster boy for the local Tony Curtis Spartacus Gym and Health Spa”) lying on the straw.

An ad for the Vatican Nativity scene was in fact rejected by Facebook saying “Your ad can’t include images that are sexually suggestive or provocative.”

Commented Osiris to Cassandra Sibylline, “I like this year’s Vatican Christmas tree and Nativity scene. It makes a vampire feel right at home.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 23rd
2017.

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Osiris Meets Yemaya In Rome

September 12, 2017 at 3:42 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

The Egyptian vampire Osiris was walking the streets of Rome where he lived.

His wife and sister Isis still lived in Paris.

A family reunion between the pair from a few years back didn’t go so well as planned so the two were now living separately.

As for his evil brother and brother-in-law Set, he was a multi-billionaire and living in London.

And one of Set’s former employees Renfield R. Renfield was now being touted as the next Prime Minister of Great Britain- which really didn’t bode well for the state of the world.

Osiris had received a call from Pope Francis this morning (while Osiris was asleep in his sarcophagus) asking if he’d call a press conference and condemn Donald Trump for not believing in climate change.

The Egyptian deity said he’d get back to Francis on that.

But now it was evening. The sun was down and Osiris was free to walk the streets.

As Osiris walked down the street, a peacock strutted by.

“Wow, peacocks really are proud,” Osiris said to himself.

Then a vulture flew by.

“Wow, that’s not a very promising sign,” Osiris thought, “rather ominous in fact.”

He stopped in front of a fountain filled with algae and all sorts of flowers and plants around the fountain.

The fountain sprayed Osiris and Osiris felt the taste of salt water rather than fresh water which was unusual for a fountain in Rome.

Then a face arose from the waters.
Yemaya

“Who are you?” Osiris asked.

“I am Yemaya the goddess of the seas and oceans,” replied the figure.

Osiris had recalled reading somewhere that an orisha (divine spirit) was the goddess of the ocean and seas in the Afro-Caribbean Yoruba religion as well as Haitian vodou, Louisiana voodoo and Santeria.

“What do you want with me?” Osiris asked.

“You should know, Osiris, husband of Isis the Egyptian goddess and divine queen of the seas, that krakens are rising everywhere,” Yemaya stated, “arising in both fresh and salt water.”

From Yemaya’s tone of voice, Osiris gathered that krakens arising was obviously a major problem to be concerned about.

Meanwhile on Mount Olympus, Zeus was muttering in his sleep, “Release the Kraken. Release the Kraken.”

Athena said to Hermes, “He is speaking in the singular and not the plural, isn’t he?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 12th
2017.

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Renfield In Egypt and Then Germany

April 29, 2017 at 2:33 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

After the papal speech at al-Azhar University in Cairo, Pope Francis and the Egyptian vampire Osiris met behind closed doors with Islamic leaders from across the Muslim world.

A phone call from the conference room was put in to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and the Chief Rabbis of Israel.

Renfield R. Renfield who had bugged the room made notes.

“That’s very interesting,” Renfield thought to himself.

He left the notes on the table in his Cairo hotel room and put in a call to his boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set letting him know the developments.

“What,” Set seethed, “that bastard Osiris! Why does everyone want to make deals with him and not me?”.

“The world has bad taste, boss,” Renfield replied as he flicked through the Cairo hotel TV guide and noticed the reality TV shows Survivor and also Big Brother Canada were available on the hotel’s TV programming.

“What the world needs is a statue of Set in the proposed ecumenical Interfaith Temple in Jerusalem,” Set started pulling his hair out with his razor sharp fingernails in a dramatic barber like scene that hadn’t been seen since the days Johnny Depp played Edward Scissorhands.

Meanwhile over in North Korea, Kim Jong-un was busy sobbing on to his teddy bear (that had the face of Anthony Hopkins as Dr. Hannibal Lecter on it), “That woman in my dream told me that if I painted an image of a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull on my ballistic missiles, they’d launch successfully.”

The beautiful Korean woman in the white gown (from his dream) appeared behind him in reality and kicked him in the ass and told him, “I also told you to write the Latin words IN HOC SIGNO VINCES above the image, you idiot.”

Renfield decided to stop off in Germany on his way home from Cairo.

He had received a message from his new found ally the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

There was important business that Renfield had to attend to in Bavaria.

In a quiet Bavarian village, Herr Dummkopf Drecksack was a driving test administrator.

He was the motherfucking asshole of all driving test administrators.

He had just given a hard time to a personal friend of Dracul Van Helsing and Renfield R. Renfield.

Flunking her for making one mistake.

Renfield followed the pink velvet pants wearing Herr Dummkopf Drecksack as he walked down the street.

He followed him to a post office where the man picked up a dozen packages of viagra and a dozen packages of cialis.

He then put them in his brown coloured VW bug and drove home.

Inside his house, he lit a candle in front of the giant photo of Adolf Hitler above his black altar.

“Like Adolf, do you?” Renfield said behind him.

“What the?-” Herr Dummkopf Drecksack turned around.

That evening, Berlin’s national TV news channel reported, “The driving test administrator was found hanging from his rusty brown VW bug in the middle of the town square with his pants and underpants pulled down and a dozen packages of viagra hanging from his right arm and a dozen packages of cialis hanging from his left arm…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 29th
2017.

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Egyptian Family Feud- 2017 Style

April 25, 2017 at 4:36 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Renfield R. Renfield the chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for Set Enterprises was attending a staff meeting on the Set Estate (the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire’s colossal West London mansion) with the Vampire Set himself, Set’s personal concert pianist Amadeus Emanon and Athelstan the personal butler and valet to the aforementioned vampire.

Renfield called the meeting to order.

“So,” Renfield belched after pounding the gavel, “Amadeus, I understand you were in charge of analyzing Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster’s revelations while I was away plotting the overthrow of the Nicolas Maduro government in Venezuela.”

“That’s correct,” Amadeus Emanon bit into a grilled cheese sandwich.

“Did Michelangelo reveal anything earth shattering?” Renfield asked as he drank from a bottle of Raven Conspiracy Deep Dark Red Wine.

“Well,” Amadeus munched on a Greek salad made with Goddess Athena Brand Feta Cheese, “apparently Pope Francis likes milk and cookies while the late former British Prime Minister Winston Churchill liked brandy.” (https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2017/04/19/michelangelo-foresees-pope-francis-at-regensburg/ )

“So, tell me something I don’t know,” Renfield pushed away a copy of an organic chemistry textbook in front of him.

“Mr. Renfield, sir,” Athelstan coughed, “I believe Mr. Emanon also listened in to the wiretaps you have on Master Set’s brother Osiris’ phone in Rome.”

“Really?” Renfield noticed that 5 dominatrixes were now following him on his Twitter account, “And did you discover anything earth shattering there, Amadeus?”.

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set stopped licking his toe nails with his long serpent like forked tongue and listened to what Amadeus had to say.

“Well apparently Pope Francis has invited Osiris to accompany him when he visits Egypt this coming April 28th to 29th,” Amadeus ate a chocolate covered pyramid made out of peanuts.

“What?” Set spit an extra large toe nail out of his mouth in anger, “My brother Osiris was invited to Egypt to attend the inter-faith peace conference at Cairo’s Al-Azhar University with Pope Francis and I wasn’t.”

“That is correct,” Amadeus unwrapped a green coloured chocolate statue of Osiris and started eating it.

“Renfield,” Set seethed, “I want you to go to Egypt and spy on Osiris and Pope Francis and see what they’re up to.”

“But, boss,” Renfield applied moisturizing cream to his moustache, “this week I start campaigning in the constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds as the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti-Bioconservative Party Candidate.”

“Well, if you fail to go to Egypt to spy on Pope Francis and Osiris on my behalf,” Set started eating from the pot of crocodile stew in front of him, “you can kiss your 500 million British pounds sterling a year salary good-bye since you’ll be out of a job with me plus you can move out of my mansion as you’re no longer an employee here.”

Within seconds, Renfield was on the phone booking a flight from London to Cairo.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
The Feast Day of Saint Mark
(1st Bishop of Alexandria in Egypt)
April 25th 2017.

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Osiris, Isis and Pope Francis

March 25, 2017 at 3:36 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

“Guess who I had dinner with last night?” The Rome-based Egyptian vampire Osiris asked his wife the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis.

“With Pope Francis?” Isis dipped a silver spoon into her dish of Black Sea caviar as she sat in her apartment with a panoramic view of the Eiffel Tower.

“Oh shoot, I was hoping that would have been a surprise,” Osiris wiped the Eggs Florentine off his face as he sat in his apartment with a panoramic view of the Colosseum.

“I read about it in Renfield R. Renfield’s online newsletter,” Isis checked her iPad.

“That bastard who’s Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for our London-based evil brother Set?” Osiris spit out his freshly squeezed orange juice, “I think he must have wiretapped my phone.”

“He did,” Isis sipped her champagne, “he mentioned it in his newsletter a few weeks ago.”

“I should get an email subscription to that,” Osiris ate his toast.

“You should,” Isis put caviar on her bagel, “so how was the dinner with Pope Francis and the EU heads of state and government?”.

“It was wonderful,” Osiris’ smile was as bright as that of the Sun god Ra, “that Francis is a very ecumenical guy. He invited me to place a statue of myself in Saint Peter’s Basilica. Since last night was the eve of the 60th Anniversary of the signing of the Treaty of Rome which laid the groundwork for today’s European Union, he also called on a new vision for Europe to combat the evil populism that has overtaken Europe in the wake of Brexit and Donald Trump’s U.S. victory.”

“And I hope that new vision for Europe that Pope Francis sees is an ancient Egyptian vision as conceived by us centuries ago,” Isis walked over to the window and noticed a Kraken crawling up the Eiffel Tower.

“The very same,” Osiris looked out the window and noticed an ET gray emerging out of a spaceship atop Rome’s Colosseum.

At that moment, Isis got a text message on her phone sent to her by her disembodied son Horus.

“I have become incarnate again,” Horus gave his mother Isis the cheerful news, “I will be born in 9 months time.”

“Holy cow,” Renfield who had been eavesdropping on Isis and Osiris’ conversation knocked over his glass of milk.

Amadeus Emanon who immediately started crying over the spilled milk wept, “Actually I think Horus would be a holy falcon. Hathor was the holy cow in ancient Egyptian religion.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday March 25th
2017.

Vampiress Isis
Paris-based Egyptian Vampiress Isis: Hoping that the new vision for Europe will be an ancient Egyptian vision conceived millenia ago by Isis and Osiris.

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Vampire Set’s Night On The Town- Berlin 1927

February 13, 2017 at 12:11 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was in the Mephisto Lounge in Berlin. He wasn’t sure how many cabarets he had been visiting this evening. For he had been drinking a lot. And it had been alcohol. And not blood.

An alcohol hazed memory of the murder of his brother Osiris came back to him.

Set's Murder of His Brother Osiris Appeared Different In An Alcoholic Haze

That’s funny, Set thought to himself. He didn’t recall Bastet being there when he invited Osiris to inhabit the box which he was to close and later bodily dismember Osiris into 14 pieces. He wondered as he chewed an olive he found in his jacket sleeve pocket (from a martini in a previous nightspot) if that was the origin of the expression, “Has the cat got your tongue?”. Perhaps the Egyptian cat goddess Bastet had Osiris’.

No sooner had Set thought this profound thought when he was confronted by the sight of the devil Mephistopheles standing before him.

In the Mephisto Lounge, the waiters were dressed like Mephistopheles And when ordering from the menu, you’d have to agree to sell your soul before they took your order.

You signed the document in blood but if you were squeamish about that, they would accept red ink.

Set agreed to sell his soul in order to get a beer.

In another corner of the lounge, two men were watching and observing Set.

Both men were with British Intelligence.

“Did you find out about his background?” One man Thomas asked the other man Henry.

“Well,” Henry took out his notebook, “he’s apparently Egyptian. There’s no record of him prior to his suddenly showing up in a Cairo nightclub in November of 1918. The past several years he’s lived in London, New York and Chicago. He moved to Berlin in 1925.”

“And what are his political sympathies?” Thomas asked.

“Well, he’s attended several meetings of the German National Socialist Workers’ Party to hear that fellow Corporal Hitler speak,” Henry answered.

“I see,” Thomas looked thoughtful, “and he apparently still owns property in England?”.

“Affirmative,” Henry nodded.

“This fixation he has with Nazism,” Thomas inquired, “Do you suppose he’s racist?”.

“I have no idea,” Henry shrugged.

Thomas pondered the question for a moment.

Then he lit his pipe, blew smoke rings and looked up at the ceiling.

“I suppose there’s one way to find out,” Thomas breathed in the Egyptian tobacco.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 8th
2017.

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Egyptian Vampiric God of Darkness Set On An Evening In Berlin 1927

February 10, 2017 at 1:17 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

It was the year 1927 and the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was living in Berlin.

It had been almost 9 years years since Set had had his tomb in Egypt dug up by British archaeologist Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury back on November 11th 1918 (the same day that the Armistice had been signed ending the Great War- the war that later generations would call the First World War).

Set was living in a luxurious Berlin apartment with his girlfriend the famous 1920s Berlin dominatrix the Baroness Erika Von Sade.

Set felt quite at home in the decadence and debauchery of 1920s Berlin.

It would have been what Egypt would have been like if he had been allowed to rule the land instead of his brother Osiris. He had of course bodily dismembered his goodly goody two shoes (made of Nile River reeds) brother Osiris. But unfortunately his sister and sister-in-law (for she was Osiris’ wife) Isis had found all the body parts of Osiris (save one) and put Osiris back together again.

Osiris tried to be a good Pharaoh again but it just wasn’t the same since he fell to pieces (or rather was carved to pieces by his brother Set).

Isis never did recover Osiris’ severed phallus. And his wooden phallus (by which he and Isis managed to conceive their son Horus) didn’t quite feel like the real thing (to quote a Coca-Cola ad from the distant future).

So Osiris wrote a sad song whose lyrics in ancient Egyptian said, “I’m not half the man I used to be” (the lyrics were later translated into English by the Beatles in the 1960s). Osiris later fell into a deep sleep under a black magic spell cast by Set who exiled his brother to a planet near the star Sirius for a few thousand years.

Horus, to avenge his father Osiris, buried Set alive in a tomb for a few thousand years.

Then that tomb had been dug up by Dr. Edgar Lovecraft Ashbury in 1918.

Set had escaped, gone into the U.S. bootlegging business with Al Capone, made a killing (his partner Big Al had made even more killings) and was using the proceeds to live the high life in Berlin.

Set was getting dressed to go out for a night on the town in Berlin on this particular evening in 1927.

“Which cabaret will you be visiting tonight, sir?” His valet Hans Franz Benz asked him.

“I’m not sure, Hans,” Set selected the red tie to go with the colour of his victims’ neck bites and the resulting liquid flow.

“I believe your favourite lounge singer Marlene Dietrich is singing at one of the clubs tonight, sir,” Hans tied the tie for Set.

“Really? I’ll have to go to that club,” Set decided not to go with the wooden shoes from Holland on the off chance some vampire hunter might use one of his shoes for a wooden stake.

“Did you spend the day sleeping in your sarcophagus, sir,?” Hans inquired.

“No, I did spend it indoors out of the sun,” Set replied, “I was in an auditorium listening to that dynamic young politician from Bavaria speak.”

“Would that be Adolf Hitler, sir?” Hans selected a pair of black boots with Death’s Head shoe laces.

“That’s the man,” Set smiled showing a huge pair of vampiric incisors, “he says he’s going to make Germany great again.”

“That’s good to hear, sir,” Hans put Set’s arms through his vest.

“I always admire political leaders who are going to make their country great again,” Set selected the gold cufflinks inscribed with the Napoleonic N in a Roman laurel leaf crown.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 8th
2017.

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