Evo Morales Resignation or One Night In Bolivia Minus Karl and The Marx Brothers

November 10, 2019 at 11:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Evo Morales Resignation or One Night In Bolivia Minus Karl and The Marx Brothers

Bolivian President Evo Morales has resigned today.

The resignation followed weeks of protests after his disputed re-election last month.

On the night of the October 20th Bolivian Presidential election, the results count was inexplicably stopped for 24 hours.

When the so-called final result was announced the next night, it gave Señor Morales more than the 10% lead over his nearest opponent for him to be declared the outright winner in the first round of the race.

His opponent and his supporters disputed the results citing irregularities with the vote.

Today auditors with the Organization of American States which had monitored the elections said it had found evidence of wide-spread data manipulations and could not certify the results of the poll.

Hillary Clinton was unavailable in Bolivia to blame the whole thing on Russian assets.

It was a call by the Bolivian Army Chief General Williams Kaliman today that finally convinced Morales to resign.

Behind the scenes however, Evo Morales was expecting supernatural intervention to keep him in power.

The ancient Inca Earth Mother Goddess Pachamama had blessed some soil and grasses in the Vatican Gardens at a female shaman led invocation ceremony for the goddess on Friday October 4th last month in which Pope Francis had participated and gave his papal blessing.

A few years back during a papal visit to Bolivia, President Evo Morales had given Francis a Crucifix which showed Christ nailed to a Soviet style hammer and sickle.

Now Francis would return the favour by getting Pachamama to keep Morales in power.

Soil and grass was blessed by Pachamama at the Vatican Gardens on Friday October 4th.

A group of Communist Cardinals and bishops had signed a new Pact of the Catacombs in the Catacombs of Domitilla on Sunday October 20th of last month (the same date as the first round of the Bolivian Presidential election) in which they had invoked the blessings of Pachamama on the pact they called the Pact of The Catacombs For The Common Home.

The next day a group of Catholic traditionalists had gone into the Church of Santa Maria In Traspontina (where the papal and shaman and Inca goddess blessed) Vatican Gardens Pachamama statues were located and took them out of the Church and cast them off a bridge into the Tiber River.

To add insult to injury, the men never even bothered to throw in bottles of the variety of environmentally friendly shampoo that was Pachamama’s favourite so she could have at least shampooed her hair as she floated down the river.

But on Sunday October 27th the goddess blessed Pachamama grasses and soil were put in a planter pot and given to Pope Francis to be presented as a gift along with the Communion bread and wine on the High Altar of Saint Peter’s Basilica at the closing Mass of the Amazon Synod.

On Monday October 28th a pact was signed between the Vatican and the United Nations to establish a one world government by the year 2030.

Present at the signing were U2 singer Bono and economist Jeffrey Sachs.

Pope Francis gave the planter pot of Pachamama blessed plants and soil to Bono.

Morales was hoping that the planter pot would eventually wind up in his possession.

However thanks to a blabber mouth headless horseman and his tap dancing horse, a copy of the Pact of The Catacombs For A Common Home eventually found its way into the hands of the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

And as for the planter pot of Pachamama blessed plants and soil, an Irish cow guided by an Irish leprechaun visited the Bono estate in Ireland with the said cow eating the plants and the said leprechaun vacuuming up the soil.

This incident which happened this past Friday night November 8th sent Pachamama into a deep state of depression which not even a combination of herbal tea and Saint John’s Wort was able to fix.

As such Pachamama was in no condition to impart her goddess blessings on Evo Morales when he really needed them.

As such he was forced to resign.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Sunday November 10th
2019.

Even a combination of herbal tea and Saint John’s Wort wasn’t enough to get Pachamama to sing away those Irish cow ate my grasses and Irish leprechaun vacuumed up my soil blues.

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Yaldabaoth, Bono and The Pachamama Grasses

November 8, 2019 at 11:38 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Yaldabaoth, Bono and The Pachamama Grasses 

Back on Monday October 28th 2019 the day after the Vatican’s Amazon Synod ended, Pope Francis had a meeting with U2 singer Bono and economist Jeffrey Sachs.

At the meeting, Pope Francis’ Vatican and the United Nations signed a pact on sustainable development and global governance by the year 2030.

During that meeting, Pope Francis also gave Bono a planter of some grasses and soil that had been used to invoke the ancient Inca Earth Mother goddess Pachamama at a special ceremony in the Vatican Gardens back on October 4th before the Amazon Synod began.

The same planter of grasses and soil had been given to Pope Francis along with the Communion bread and wine as gifts to be presented on the High Altar of Saint Peter’s Basilica for the closing Mass of the Amazon Synod on October 27th.

Now the planter of Pachamama grasses and soil had been given to Bono by Pope Francis.

But none of this was known to or of any concern to Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun who was walking through the Irish countryside on this Friday evening singing,

“You think she was Queen of the land 
and her hair hung over her shoulders
all tied up with a black velvet band…”

As he walked down the road, he ran into a cow he knew called Daisy Daily.

“Moo!” Daisy greeted him.

“Hello, Daisy,” Yaldabaoth doffed his hat, “You’re a long way from Farmer Riley’s farm.”

“Moo!” Daisy answered him.

“You’re looking for something to eat eh?” Yaldabaoth scratched his head and took a nip from a bottle of Irish whiskey, “Well, I think Bono the U2 singer has his estate somewhere near here. Let’s go see if he has anything to eat at his place.”

Leprechaun and cow headed off down the road to the Bono estate.

Yaldabaoth rang the doorbell of the great house which was promptly answered by Higgins who was Bono’s butler and valet.

“Hello, Higgins,” Yaldabaoth likewise doffed his hat to the butler, “My friend Daisy Daily was looking for something to eat and we were wondering if you could give her something.”

“Well…” Higgins said.

“Moo!” Daisy walked into the house and walked over to the sitting room window where the planter of Pachamama grasses and soil was located.

“Moo!” Daisy proclaimed before eating all the grasses.

The cow then got into the punch bowl on the sitting room table and drank all the punch.

“There’s about 40 litres of alcohol in that punch,” Higgins said.

“Well, not anymore,” Yaldabaoth remarked, “It’s in Daisy now.”

A now inebriated Daisy knocked over the planter of Pachamama soil with her tail.

“I apologize, Higgins,” Yaldabaoth opened the closet door and grabbed the vacuum cleaner, “let me vacuum that up for you.”

The leprechaun then vacuumed up all the dirt.

“That was sacred soil I was told,” Higgins’ hair had turned white.

“Now mixed in with sacred potato chip bits and sacred chocolate bar wrappers,” Yaldabaoth emptied the contents of the vacuum cleaner down the estate’s garbage chute.

“I wonder what Bono will say?” Higgins shook his head.

“Probably I still haven’t found what I’m looking for if he decides to go through the garbage,” Yaldabaoth directed Daisy Daily out the front door where leprechaun and cow headed back to Farmer Riley’s farm.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 8th
2019.

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Qonzilqointec, Santa Muerte, Don Quixote and Pachamama Mark Guy Fawkes Day In Mexico

November 5, 2019 at 11:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec, Santa Muerte, Don Quixote and Pachamama Mark Guy Fawkes Day In Mexico

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec had flown back to Mexico accompanied by Dracul Van Helsing upon hearing the news that 9 members of an American Mormon family- 3 women and 6 children- were killed in an attack by suspected drug cartel gunmen in northern Mexico.

Their burnt out SUV was found by the side of the road with the remains of some victims found inside.

They were most likely targeted as a result of mistaken identity.

Sonora state in northern Mexico is being fought over by two rival gangs La Linea (with links to the larger Juarez cartel) and Los Chapos (which is part of the larger Sinaloa cartel).

Being an equal opportunity beheader when it came to dealing with drug gang members, Qonzilqointec started beheading members of both gangs when she arrived in Sonora state.

She was assisted in the beheading by Van Helsing.

Just before their heads were lopped off, most of the drug hoodlums started snivelling and whining that this wasn’t what they had signed up for when they decided to join the gangs.

They were expecting a life of sex, drugs, rock ‘n roll and wild parties not being beheaded.

“Well, life’s a bitch and then you die,” Van Helsing remarked unsympathetically as he lopped off yet another whining drug hoodlum’s head.

Van Helsing and Qonzilqointec were soon joined in their beheading of the drug dealing hooligans by a man dressed as a medieval Spanish knight.

After over a thousand hooligans had lost their heads and the trio decided to call it a night, the Spanish knight rode off on his horse.

“Who was that unmasked man wearing the gold coloured sombrero of an old time Spanish singing barber?” Van Helsing asked Qonzilqointec.

“Well, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say it was a younger looking version of Cervantes’ Don Quixote,” the Aztec vampire princess answered.

. . .

Santa Muerte the patron saint of drug dealers was sitting in a rural Mexican cantina looking depressed because quite a number of his worshippers had died the past few days after being beheaded by the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

Santa Muerte was depicted in his statues as a female saint but was really Samael the ancient angel of death (mentioned in the Talmud) in drag.

He had been living in Mexico since the 1930s and had been a transgendered fallen angel for almost as long.

“I’ve got a lot to complain about,” Santa Muerte wept in his tequila.

“You’ve got a lot to complain about?” Pachamama the ancient Inca Mother Earth goddess who was sitting over at the next table hit him over the head with her high-heeled shoes, “I’ve got something to complain about. Back on Monday October 20th during the Pan-Amazonia synod in Rome a group of Catholic men entered a Catholic Church where my statues were displayed and took them out and threw them into the Tiber River. Then just this past Sunday November 3rd
the Rev. Father Hugo Valdemar Romero Canon of the Cathedral in Mexico City and the official Spokesman for the Archdiocese of Mexico burned 3 cardboard effigies of me in a public ceremony in front of Our Lady of Guadalupe Church in Mexico City.”

“Well, look at the bright side,” Santa Muerte polished his 1930s era glass spectacles with a cloth, “he missed Guy Fawkes Day by two days. He obviously didn’t remember the 5th of November. And I don’t imagine Canon Valdemar will ever be awarded a Cardinal’s hat by Pope Francis.” 

Pachamama was not pleased by Santa Muerte’s words of consolation.

She poured tequila all over his skull head and then set fire to it.

Santa Muerte cried, “The last thing I wanted to do was spend Guy Fawkes Day looking like Nicolas Cage in the 2007 film Ghost Rider.”

He ran up to the bar and poured a pitcher of ice water over his head.

. . .

Señorita Adriana was sitting beside a carved stone depiction of the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl.

She held a red rose in her hands.

The rose had been given her by a man who had been the epitome of charm.

But the man was really Quetzalcoatl who had shapeshifted into human form.

The “man” had told her to wait for him by the carved image of Quetzalcoatl.

The feathered serpent arrived on the scene with a obsidian knife to cut her heart out.

Señorita Adriana screamed.

A man dressed as a medieval Spanish knight and wearing a golden coloured sombrero arrived on the scene and stabbed the feathered serpent with his lance.

“Waaaaah!” Quetzalcoatl cried.

“But it’s only a flesh wound,” Don Quixote pointed out.

“I haven’t had worse,” Quetzalcoatl sobbed as he ran down the street.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 5th
2019.

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Qonzilqointec of The Catacombs

November 3, 2019 at 11:14 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec of The Catacombs

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec in the catacombs of Rome.

After having spent Dias de los Muertos down in Mexico, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec had flown from Mexico City to Rome on a mission for Set Enterprises and the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

Set was anxious to get his hands on the recently signed Pact of the Catacombs that was signed down in the catacombs by various cardinals, bishops and priests at last month’s Pan-Amazonia Synod.

Set feared that in that pact was an alliance treaty signed between his arch-enemy, brother and brother-in-law the Egyptian god Osiris and Pachamama the ancient Inca Mother Earth goddess.

Therefore Set wanted to discover whether talk of an Osiris-Pachamama alliance was in fact true.

So he had talked Qonzilqointec and Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing into searching the catacombs to find a copy of the pact which according to one of Set’s sources inside the Vatican was hidden inside one of the catacomb walls.

Qonzilqointec stood at one of the catacomb entrances waiting for Dracul Van Helsing to catch up:

“Are you coming?” She asked him.

“I am most definitely coming,” Dracul answered as he looked at her.

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” she threw back her hair and laughed.

“I think in the catacombs, we are somewhat below gutter level aren’t we?” Dracul pointed out.

“That’s no excuse,” she shook her head.

They heard a clop! clop! clop! coming from one of the catacombs.

Then a peculiar voice that sounded like neighing and then singing, “Mr. Ed the Talking Horse! Of course! Of course!”.

Aztec vampiress and Canadian vampire hunter looked and there was a headless horseman (wearing a jack o’ lantern pumpkin for a head) riding a black horse.

A black horse that was wearing tap dancing shoes as it clopped along.

“Excuse me,” Van Helsing asked politely, “but do you know where a copy of the recently signed Pact of the Catacombs might be hidden in the catacomb walls?”.

“Well,” the Headless Horseman blew his carved out pumpkin nose with his handkerchief (a very tricky feat), “I was told by the Pope’s personal Monsignor Master of Ceremonies that a copy of the pact was hid in that wall down there.”

The headless horseman pointed.

“Thanks very much,” Van Helsing smiled.

“No problem,” the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow doffed his hat off his pumpkin head.

As the Headless Horseman’s horse trotted off towards the catacomb entrance with his headless rider, the horse sang his own paraphrased version of an old Charlie Rich song, “Hey, did you happen to see the most beautiful mare in the world? And if you did, was she sneezing, sneezing?…” 

A song that the horse Bucephalus Reborn sang in tribute to a long lost love of his who had a terrible allergy to hay.

“Got it,” Qonzilqointec grabbed the scroll from the wall.

She unrolled it.

“It appears Set’s worst fears are true,” she noted as she read it.

“I’ll text message him right now,” Van Helsing pulled out his smart phone and proceeded to do just that.
“Well, I suppose we better head back to London,” Qonzilqointec suggested.

“What’s the rush?” Van Helsing looked around, “I wonder what it’s like to make out in the catacombs?”.

Qonzilqointec approached him, “Are you asking me to make out with you in the catacombs?”.

“I am,” Van Helsing answered.

Later as Pope Francis was taking an evening stroll through the catacombs, he got the shock of his life.

“Great life force of the Amazon!” The pontiff exclaimed.

Being used to the confines of the Vatican, he wasn’t used to the sight of two people of the opposite sex making out with one another.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher 
Sunday November 3rd
2019.

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Renfield Begins Re-Election Campaign

October 29, 2019 at 10:37 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Begins Re-Election Campaign 

By a margin of 438 votes to 20, the British House of Commons voted to approve Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s date for a UK national election to be held this coming December 12th.

This would pave the way for Britain’s first December election since 1923.

Johnson said the British public must be given a choice over the future of “Brexit and the country”.

As the vote took place, British MP Renfield R. Renfield the UK’s Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering sat on the benches eating a dozen Chick-fil-A chicken sandwiches that he pulled out of a large bag prominently displaying the Chick-fil-A logo.

He also wore a t-shirt showing Lot’s wife turning into a pillar of salt when she turned back to look on the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.

The visual display at the moment of the historic vote lost him the endorsement of both Justin Trudeau and Barack Obama for his re-election campaign (not of course that Renfield was expecting their endorsements anyways).

Renfield also earned himself an excommunication from Pope Francis even though he wasn’t Catholic (but then again it could be argued neither was the Pope).

Renfield went home to the colossal West London mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set where he lived while in London.

He noticed Set on the front lawn outside cutting up a large block of ice and what appeared to be a body inside the block of ice.

Renfield walked through the front door of the mansion where he informed his friend Amadeus Emanon that he would be renting a room in a Bed and Breakfast place in the town of Tewkesbury for the next couple of months as he fought his re-election campaign in his constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds.

Meanwhile London-based PIs Magog Rhys Petley and Agathor Christie were flying home from New York City to London.

They had just finished handing in a report to Lev Tomi the Secretary General of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change on who were the groups and individuals responsible for starting the wild fires that raged through the Amazon rain forests this past summer.

Their investigation came to a sudden halt when they stumbled on a location where shaman priests and priestesses of Pachamama (who was the ancient Inca goddess of the earth and earthquakes) were sacrificing both llamas and humans to Pachamama.

Now that it looked like a UK general election would soon be held, the two private eyes mutually agreed to seek their old jobs as MPs.

For Agathor Christie who had been the British Conservative MP for Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds prior to the spring 2017 British election, this would mean defeating current British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield (who had beaten him back in spring 2017).

For Magog Rhys Petley who had been British Labour MP for the Welsh constituency of Newbridge prior to the spring 2017 election, this would mean defeating British Transhumanist MP Morgana Fay Lee who was a Welsh vampiress who had beaten him back in spring 2017.

The Welsh vampiress Morgana: the lovely little devil about to take on Welsh werewolf Magog Rhys Petley in the upcoming British general election.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 29th
2019.

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Pachamama, Pope Francis and A Tale of Two Parrots

October 26, 2019 at 10:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mythology, News, Religion, The Occult, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Pachamama, Pope Francis and A Tale of Two Parrots

Pope Francis was addressing a group of bishops and cardinals at the final closing session of the Synod On The Pan-Amazonian Region being held at the Vatican.

On the floor in front of where the pontiff was speaking was a carved wooden statue of Pachamama who was worshipped as the Earth Mother goddess by various Amazon rainforest and Andean mountain tribespeople as well as by the ancient Inca culture.

Directly in front of Pope Francis on the table where he held his papers and spoke from them as he read was a set of green plants and flowers.

Among the plants and flowers were two parrots.

The parrot on Pope Francis’ right (the synod audience’s left) looked very much alive as he stood tall with his eyes wide open among the flowers and plants.

The parrot on Pope Francis’ left (the synod audience’s right) looked very much dead as he lay down among the flowers and plants with his mouth perpetually open and devoid of breath or sound.

The parrot on Pope Francis’ right looking very much alive and very much on the up and up was an Australian parrot looking perky and happy do to his daily diet of Uncle Ernie’s Secret Ingredient Laced Bird Seed that was mailed daily to him from Uncle Ernie’s Secret Location in Australia.

The parrot on Pope Francis’ left looking dead and very much departed from this world was a Norwegian blue parrot (a variety of parrot made famous by the British television show Monty Python).

The Norwegian blue parrot had died pining for the fjords what with all this talk of the Amazon region going on.

. . .

In the Bolivian capital of La Paz, Bolivian President Evo Morales was angry.

Not because people were in the streets protesting against his winning an unprecedented fourth presidential term but because Donald Trump had misspelled the Bolivian President’s name wrong in a tweet.

. . .

Meanwhile on the streets of Rome, an off duty member of the Swiss Guards was heading home late from work after a day spent guarding a set of Pachamama statues that had recently been rescued from the Tiber River.

Suddenly a sewer hole on the street suddenly blew its top and a huge flame of fire soared from the open sewer hole into the air.

In the midst of the huge flame of fire was a fierce looking dragon.

The dragon gazed ferociously and menacingly at the off duty Swiss Guard.

As for the Guardsman, he didn’t know what to think.

This could possibly be a hallucination brought on by imbibing too much of Pope Francis’ pet Australian parrot’s bird seed that he had swiped from the parrot’s bird seed dish when neither pontiff nor parrot were looking.

The dragon suddenly shapeshifted into a beautiful woman who approached him:

“Evening, Miss,” the Guardsman smiled as his sword rose to greet her.

The woman reached down the low-cut front of her dress, pulled out a knife and stabbed him.

She continued to walk down the street heading towards the Vatican.

The off-duty Guardsman dying decided to spend his last minutes on earth checking his lottery ticket.

He removed the lottery ticket from his coat pocket and his smart phone from his pants pocket and proceeded to google tonight’s winning lottery number for the grand prize of €10 million.

They matched.

“Unholy shit,” the Guardsman noted aloud with more than a huge trace of irony, “I win the lottery the same night I’m about to kick the bucket.”

He expired.

Fate can be cruel at times.

If a departed Norwegian blue parrot in the synod hall at the Vatican could talk, he’d undoubtedly agree.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday October 26th
2019.

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Asmodeus In Rome On Saint Raphael’s Day

October 24, 2019 at 10:31 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Asmodeus In Rome On Saint Raphael’s Day 

The demon Asmodeus was sitting in a Rome taverna and enjoying a glass of absinthe with the little green frog Nimrod (who had been a mighty hunter back in the day of the Old Testament Book of Genesis).

The TV in the taverna was on and the news was being read,

“In Britain, Renfield R. Renfield the UK’s Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering has been placed in charge of the investigation to find the human trafficking gang responsible for the deaths of 39 migrants who had been found frozen to death in a refrigerator truck that was parked in an industrial area in Essex…”

“I wonder what will happen to the human traffickers when Renfield gets his hands on them?” Nimrod asked.

“I imagine from what I’ve heard of Renfield’s reputation,” Asmodeus lit his 10,000th cigarette of the day, “they will die a slow painful death by bodily dismemberment.”

“I suppose that’s why Renfield is considered the inspiration for the character of Raymond Red Reddington on The Blacklist TV show,” Nimrod licked up absinthe from his glass with his long tongue.

“I imagine,” Asmodeus agreed as he sipped his absinthe.

“In other news,” the announcer on the TV went on, “Pope Francis dove into the Tiber River today when he spotted what he thought were Pachamama idols floating by. The idols had been thrown off the bridge into the Tiber River on Monday…”

“I wonder if Pope Francis knows how to swim,” Nimrod finished his absinthe.

“Don’t know,” Asmodeus shrugged as he motioned for the waiter to bring another couple of glasses of absinthe.

A girl walked by the window wearing a Saint Raphael medal around her neck.

“Great balls of fire,” Asmodeus turned pale and made a reverse Sign of the Cross.

“What is it?” Nimrod inquired.

“That woman was wearing a Saint Raphael medal,” Asmodeus answered.

“Si, signor,” the waiter said as he put down the glasses of absinthe, “today is Saint Raphael’s Day on the old Roman Rite Latin calendar.”

“What have you got against Saint Raphael?” Nimrod asked Asmodeus when the waiter departed.

“Well over 2 millennia and a half ago, when I had the hots for a young Hebrew maiden named Sarah so much so that I murdered 7 of her husbands on the night their marriages to her were supposed to be consummated,” Asmodeus explained, “The Archangel Raphael befriended a young Hebrew man named Tobias and helped him get engaged to Sarah. The awful smell of a fish’s liver and heart being burnt and its fumes drove me away when I tried to attack Tobias on their wedding night. The smell was so bad, I fled from Media (where Sarah lived) all the way to Upper Egypt where Raphael followed me, bound me and buried me. I lay bound and buried for several centuries until an intoxicated Irish leprechaun named Yaldabaoth accidentally released me while he was visiting his mother Sophia in Egypt.”

“I can see why you’re not very happy with Raphael,” Nimrod nodded.

Meanwhile in another part of Rome, the Greek goddess Artemis rang the doorbell of a Vatican Cardinal’s apartment.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday October 24th
2019.

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Canadian Election Night and The Osiris-Pachamama Alliance

October 22, 2019 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Canadian Election Night and The Osiris-Pachamama Alliance

It was election night in Canada and Canadian New Democratic Party leader Jagmeet Singh had just finished his election speech.

Set Enterprises’ secret agent Harvey Tallbanger watched the speech on the large screen at Canadian Federal Liberal Party headquarters where Justin Trudeau was expected to put in an appearance in another 20 minutes to half an hour.

Trudeau had won the election albeit with a minority government.

Next up to speak was Canadian Conservative Party leader Andrew Scheer of Regina.

The leader of the Official Opposition.

As political convention dictated in Canada, Scheer as leader of the party having won the 2nd greatest number of seats in Parliament on Election Night would give his speech which would then be followed by Trudeau who won the greatest number of seats.

However 35 seconds into Scheer’s speech, the classless Justin Trudeau walked on stage and began his speech causing national television networks to immediately switch over from Scheer to the newly re-elected Prime Minister.

Never had such a protocol been broken before.

But it was typical of spoiled brat Justin Trudeau who seemed to have people outside Canada so totally mesmerized that even Barack Obama had endorsed the spoiled brat for Prime Minister.

Justin’s treatment of Scheer was so typical of all politicians from Quebec and their treatment of and total disdain for politicians who came from the Canadian prairie provinces.

Ever since the days of Justin’s pompous arrogant father Pierre Elliot Trudeau, it had been the attitude of all politicians from Quebec to treat the electorate and people of the Canadian prairie provinces with loathing and contempt.

Robbing the prairie provinces of their resource wealth so they could buy votes in their native province of Quebec.

Even Brian Mulroney who had been a Progressive Conservative and not a Liberal, being a politician from Quebec, he naturally treated the people of the Canadian prairie provinces with disdain.

In some ways Mulroney had been even a bigger asshole towards the people of the Canadian prairie provinces than Pierre Elliot Trudeau had been.

And now Justin was following in the footsteps of his father and all recent politicians from Quebec.

The following morning the Alberta independence website Westxit (which had 2000 likes by the time of Election Day) suddenly climbed overnight to 200,000 likes after Justin Trudeau had metaphorically shit over the people of the Canadian prairie provinces.

When Justin Trudeau had finished his speech, he walked off stage where he immediately had a cream pie thrown in his face by Harvey Tallbanger.

. . .

The Egyptian god Osiris was pleased by recent happenings at the Vatican and throughout Europe.

Osiris had in the past year formed an alliance with the Amazon rainforest and Andean Mountain indigenous earth mother goddess Pachamama.

Pachamama, unlike her earth mother goddess equivalents in the Ancient Greek and Egyptian pantheons, was an earth mother goddess who required blood sacrifices.

Most of the time, it was poor llamas and poor little guinea pigs who were sacrificed to Pachamama by her priests and priestesses.

Pachamama definitely wasn’t a member of GETA (Goddesses For The Ethical Treatment of Animals).

On occasion, she also required human sacrifice.

But that was no big deal, Osiris thought.

So did most liberal progressive Democratic governors of U.S. states.

And Osiris’ good friend Pope Francis had started off this month’s Pan-Amazonia Synod at the Vatican by having an Amazon female shaman lead an outdoor ritual in the Vatican gardens in which everybody bowed down to idols of Pachamama.

Afterwards the idols of Pachamama were then put in front of an altar in the Catholic Church of Santa Maria del Traspontina.

This past Sunday October 21st a group of Amazon Synod leaders led by the pro-Communist Brazilian Cardinal Claudio Hummes held a ceremony in the Catacombs of Domitilla in which they re-enacted the signing of the Pact of the Catacombs.

The Pact of the Catacombs was a ceremony held by pro-Marxist Cardinals, bishops and priests back on November 16th 1965 towards the end of the 2nd Vatican Council in which they pledged loyalty to the spirit of revolution.

Now that pact would be renewed and Pachamama (who lived beneath the earth as a dragon bathed in fire and who shapeshifted into a woman above the earth) would then be accepted as the spirit of the coming revolution.

The Pact of The Catacombs was renewed by the Amazon Synod leaders.

A day later, a group of traditional Catholics entered the Church of Santa Maria del Traspontina, removed 5 Pachamama idols and then took them outside and cast them into the Tiber River.

Claudio Cardinal Hummes threw a hippy hissy fit in response.

But for now Osiris was happy.

He was sure that he would soon become the Pharaoh of Europe after a papally blessed inter-religious ceremony would be held on the border between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland this coming Halloween that would forever bind the United Kingdom of Great Britain to the coming United States of Europe (foreseen and talked about by Leon Trotsky back in 1935) of which he Osiris would be the Pharaoh.

After all it looked like Boris Johnson and that odious Renfield R. Renfield’s efforts to pull Britain out of the EU before Halloween night would be a failure.

Osiris smiled.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 22nd
2019.

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