Pan Goatee Beheads More Uglos and Morons While Stalin’s Saints Keep Marching On

October 16, 2021 at 10:59 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was about to get off a bus.

A fellow with a stupid looking expression on his face beat him to the back door exit (the fellow was so stupid looking that Pan guessed he was probably a supporter of vaccine mandates).

Anyways when the green light went on, the fellow was too stupid to wave his hand in front of the spot that said WAVE HERE to open the door.

Goatee was finally forced to wave his hand in front of the spot while the idiot in front of him stood totally clueless.

As the idiot got off the bus and stood there looking stupid, an ugly looking woman (of the thin ugly looking stoat variety according to the Goatee Classification System of Facially Aesthetically Challenged Uglos) ran in front of Goatee to get on the bus Goatee just got off.

Goatee immediately beheaded the thin ugly stoat and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

He did the same to her moronic looking boyfriend who ran alongside her.

He beheaded the jerk with incredibly bad taste in women and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

Goatee then went after the stupid looking idiot who did not know how to get off a bus.

“If you had known how to get off a bus, bozo, or at least stepped aside until I got off in front of you, I wouldn’t have had the misfortune of having that ugly looking creature run in front of me,” Goatee pointed out, “If you’re too stupid to know how to ride a bus, then don’t ride a bus, asshole.”

Goatee then beheaded the idiot and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

The idiot would not be riding a bus ever again.

Goatee then rushed to get on the next bus.

A fat ugly blimp (on the Goatee Classification System of Facially Aesthetically Challenged Uglos) decided to walk past Goatee to go up to flirt with the bus driver.

The bus driver must not have been from Calgary originally because he turned down the fatso uglo’s flirtations.

The fat ugly blimp on her way to the back of the bus (where she should have stayed) found herself being beheaded by Pan Goatee and cut up into 999 trillion pieces.

Krampus the Austro-Hungarian and Bavarian demon goat arrived on the bus to carry the fat ugly blimp’s remains down to Tartarus.

“This is bringing back memories of why I’ve stopped riding the bloody Calgary Transit System,” Goatee commented, “Too many uglos and morons riding it.”

As Celine Dion used to sing, “It’s all coming back to me now…”

. . .

Celine Dion would not be singing the song My Heart Will Go On in the case of a 17-year-old Ontario hockey player Sean Hartman who died of a heart attack two weeks after receiving the vaccine jab against Covid.

Sean Hartman who had been playing hockey in Beeton, Ontario since he was 5 years old absolutely loved playing hockey.

But he wouldn’t be allowed to play hockey this season unless he got vaccinated.

So he got vaccinated and two weeks later he was dead.

At the same time, Public Health Ontario dryly released a report covering vaccination data from December 2020 to August 7th 2021 and dryly concluded “the highest reporting rate of myocarditis/pericarditis was observed in males age 18-24 years following second dose.”

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a vision of British MP Renfield R. Renfield overseeing the execution of New South Wales Chief Health Officer Dr. Kerry Chant by firing squad.

Dr. Kerry Chant was the ugly looking airhead who said, “A Covid-forever New World Order is the New Normal.”

Dr. Kerry Chant was wearing a hood over her head to prevent the firing squad from barfing all over the place which would have occurred if they saw her repulsively ugly and stupid looking face.

New South Wales would not have suffered any problems in the first place if Pan Goatee had been a citizen of that state.

Michelangelo applauded vigourously with his lobster claws as Dr. Kerry Chant was blown away to kingdom come by Renfield’s firing squad.

Meanwhile as a result of the massive vaccination campaign going on in the Neo-Maoist Neo-Stalinst Nazi Police State of Victoria in Australia, that state just got a new record of 2,297 new cases in a single day and 62.65% of those cases were among the double dosed.

Michelangelo sees people lining up to take the vaccine shot and as they do so, the Haitian Vodou spirit of Baron Samedi sings his own paraphrased version of an old New Orleans spiritual hymn,

“When Stalin’s saints come marching in,
When Stalin’s saints come marching in,
you better be, be, be in that number
When Stalin’s saints come marching in…”

Those lining up either keel over and die after getting the shot or turn into living dead zombies with their flesh falling off and wander the streets in search of brains.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday October 16th
2021.

Baron Samedi partying it up with a female disciple and singing, “When Stalin’s saints keep marching in…”

Permalink 6 Comments

Pan Goatee, Pope Francis and Panty Goatee

October 13, 2021 at 10:46 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Zasmadad Hamani was currently on his first day on the job working in a Mac’s Convenience Store (Mac’s Convenience Stores was a chain of small grocery stores in Western Canada) in Calgary.

He looked outside and suddenly noticed a fat ugly blimp entering the store.

It was just his bad luck that his first customer on the job would be a fat ugly blimp.

Although possiblly not since a large proportion (with an emphasis on large) of Calgary females were fat ugly blimps.

Two other men then entered the store.

Then he looked and lo and behold it was the genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee (whose serial killing specialty was killing ugly looking women) about to enter the store.

What was he doing in the neighbourhood Zasmadad wondered?

It was said that Goatee rarely ventured out of his own neighbourhood.

Undoubtedly one of Calgary’s most evil citizens who was known as the Wicked Witch Stepdaughter of Voldemort must have done something to get Goatee removed from that neighbourhood.

If Goatee encountered a fat ugly blimp in this store, it would be a blood bath of epic proportions.

And indeed it was.

The fat ugly blimp had about 500 bags of potato chips clutched in her arms and was trying to find a way of clutching 500 more when Goatee said, “Shit! You’re the first fat ugly blimp I’ve encountered in this neighbourhood. I hope you’re the last!”.

Goatee beheaded the fat ugly blimp with his astral laser machete and then cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

He left the store without buying anything.

Krampus the Austro-Hungarian and Bavarian demon goat then entered the store and picked up the remains of the late unlamented fat ugly blimp and put them in a sack that read NO CHRISTMAS PRESENTS FOR YOU and carried them down to Hell- Tartarus Sction.

But there was still a Hell of a lot of blood left for Zasmadad Hamani to clean up.

Sheesh! Zasmadad thought as he began swishing the mop with about 24 hours of mopping left ahead of him.

What a way to start a new job!

. . .

Pope Francis was sitting at his desk enjoying a glass of wine with the Fallen Archangel Mephistopheles.

“That Nancy Pelosi is a splendid woman,” Francis remarked, “If I wasn’t gay, I wouldn’t mind having carnal relations with a woman like her.”

“Well don’t mention that to Pan Goatee,” Mephistopheles remarked, “He’d behead any moron who’d date a woman like her. Of course Pelosi would fall into the category of thin ugly stoats in the Goatee Classification System of Facially Aesthetically Challenged Uglos (currently in the midst of getting FDA approval. If it was a poisonous “vaccine” aka genetic serum with hazardous side effects up to and including death, it would have been approved already) not quite as bad as the category of Fat Ugly Blimps in that classification system.”

“Who’s Pan Goatee?” Francis asked as he held a stupid looking expression on his face.

For a pontiff who fancied himself so avant garde, he certainly wasn’t much in touch with the contemporary world.

. . .

The Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit had uncovered a secret project that seemed to involve Dr. Anthony Fauci and the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

The project was called Operation Silver Shamrock and involved genetically creating serial killers who had been fictional characters in slasher horror films of the 1970s, ’80s and ’90s.

Apparently the first of the Operation Silver Shamrock Serial Killers who was none other than Michael Myers was to be unveiled today October 13th 2021 on the 714th Anniversary of the arrest of the Knights-Templar in France (that happened on October 13th 1307).

Michael Myers was already wandering in the woods near Chapel Hill North Carolina.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield got in touch with people he knew in America.

He made arrangements for Pan Goatee’s younger half-sister Panty Goatee to visit the woods near the University of Chapel Hill at South Carolina.

Panty Goatee found herself a trophy while visiting those woods.

Panty Goatee with the head of Michael Myers.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 13th
2021.

Permalink 2 Comments

On The 700th Anniversary of Dante’s Death, A Most Diabolical Plot: Soros-Gates-Fauci Axis Powers Genetically Clone Uglos

September 14, 2021 at 10:45 pm (Aesthetics, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Literature, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Today September 14th 2021 is the 700th Anniversary of the death of Italian poet Dante Alighieri who wrote the Divine Comedy trilogy consisting of Inferno, Purgatorio and Paradisio.

On September 14th 1321, Odin’s raven Huginn remarked to Odin’s raven Muninn, “Oh weep for Dante, for he is dead.”

Muninn immediately started crying and blew his nose on Pope John XXII’s papal robes.

“Don’t weep for Dante,” the demon Baphomet remarked, “Weep for Pan for he is dead.”

The Pan to whom Baphomet was referring was the Greek satyr god of nature, the wild, shepherds and flocks, mountains and rustic music.

That Pan had in fact died long ago.

Today September 14th 2021, the demon Baphomet, along with his fellow demon Baal, the fallen Archangel Mephistopheles and the ghosts of King Herod, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin and Mao Tse-tung had all endorsed the Neo-Stalinist tyrant Gavin Newsom for Governor of California and urged Californians not to recall him.

“As far as I know, I’m not related to that Pan,” Pan Goatee mentioned in answer to a question from his friend the philosopher frog emperor Marcus Amphibius.

Marcus had stoically wanted to know whether Pan Goatee was related to the Greek satyr god Pan who was the Greek god of nature, the Pan who had died long ago and sailors had heard the cry during the reign of the Roman Emperor Tiberius, “The great god Pan is dead.”

As Pan Goatee entered a drug store, Marcus Amphibius stopped to order some French flies from a French Onion Soup and Quebecois Poutine dealer.

When Marcus entered the store, he noticed his satyr friend beheading a fat ugly blimp (who was a store clerk) and cutting her up into 999 trillion pieces.

“I thought I had beheaded this fat ugly blimp a couple of weeks ago and how did she come back alive?” Goatee wanted to know, “Necromancers today must be as perverted and degenerate and as devoid of good taste as everybody else these days.”

“It might not be necromancers,” Marcus Amphibius licked an ice cream cone, “Some of my frog friends around the world tell me that the evil undynamic but diabolical trio of George Soros, Bill Gates and Dr. Anthony Fauci are genetically cloning uglos. So if you kill one, they’ve got another 665 in test tubes somewhere.”

“Oh deepest pits of perdition and damnation, thy names art Soros, Gates and Fauci,” Pan Goatee spoke eloquently.

Meanwhile in Slovakia, some renegade Slovak priests were trying to exorcise the demonically possessed Pope Francis whose eyes were once again turning demonically red, his head was rotating 360 degrees and he was vomiting forth copies of Dante’s Divine Inferno.

“We are legion. We hate Dante. We do not weep for Dante for he is dead. We hate Dante. He believed in the existence of Hell. There is no Hell,” the voices within Francis started screaming, “Ah, the flames. The flames.”

One of the priests who was slightly deaf asked his fellow priest (a dwarf) who was only a little less deaf, “What did he say?”.

The dwarf answered, “I think he said, Ah, the plane. The plane.”

“These demons must be fans of the original 1970s TV show Fantasy Island,” the elder priest remarked.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 14th
2021.

Permalink 8 Comments

More Morons and Uglos Beheaded: Pan Goatee Vs. The Aesthically Challenged Hybrids

September 13, 2021 at 10:42 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Vampire novel) (, , )

Pan Goatee: To take arms against a sea of uglos
And by beheading end them.

Pan Goatee entered the drug store only to be confronted by the sight of a fat ugly blimp.

“Hell to Betsy,” Goatee exclaimed, “Davy Crocket and his rifle Old Betsy definitely couldn’t handle you. I haven’t seen uglos for over a week now and now you pieces of grossly grotesque gargoyles decide to come out out of the closet again. Pretty soon, we’ll be subjected to the obnoxious spectacle of Uglo Pride parades and being forced to salute the Uglo Pride flag like we’re currently having to do with the escaped residents of Sodom and Gomorrah.”

Pan Goatee beheaded the ugly looking blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

The only thing that remained was the uglo’s vaccine passport that Pan Goatee cut up as well.

Krampus the demon goat arrived to collect the pieces and take them down to Tartarus.

The drug store clerk for this evening turned out to be the ugly looking blimp’s uglo looking gargoyle daughter.

Goatee cursed the aesthetically challenged eugenics of George Soros and Bill Gates and beheaded the uglo looking gargoyle daughter.

He cut her up into 999 trillion pieces as well.

As if on cue, Krampus again showed up to take the pieces down to Tartarus.

Goatee then walked down to the Dollarama store having left the drug store without purchasing anything due to the offensive spectacle of uglos.

He entered the Dollarama and walked around the aisles.

He was confronted by the spectacle of an ugly looking gargoyle with pink hair.

“What is it with you uglos thinking that by colouring your hair pink or purple, this somehow makes you better looking? It doesn’t,” Goatee beheaded the pink haired gargoyle uglo and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces, “It just makes you look uglo and stupid.”

“And speaking of stupid,” Goatee turned his attention to the pink haired uglo’s moronic looking boyfriend, “I want to see your vaccine passport card.”

The moron reached into his pocket and pulled out his vaccine passport card that had been signed by Citizen Robespierre and Comrade Trotsky.

Goatee then beheaded the moron and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

Krampus arrived to pick up the remains of the pink haired uglo and her moronic boyfriend and along with their vaccine passports, he carried them down to Tartarus.

Goatee left the Dollarama store and while walking through the parking lot, he encountered a fat ugly blimp, her moronic looking husband and their uglo-moronic looking son.

Goatee beheaded all three and cut them up into 999 trillion pieces each.

He remarked to Krampus who was on his way to pick up the pieces, “George Soros and Bill Gates should really be charged with crimes against humanity.”

Meanwhile in Washington DC under cross-examination from Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul, Dr. Anthony Fauci denied that the majority of white women in Calgary were quite repulsively ugly.

Yet another Neo-Nuremberg war criminal in our midst.

At the same time the Vatican released a statement denying that Pope Francis was demonically possessed.

What Pope Francis saw through the looking glass at the bottom of the rabbit hole:

Permalink 5 Comments

The Vaccinazi and Neo-Bolshevik Communist Pact of 2021

August 30, 2021 at 10:58 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was on a secret mission.

He had been hired by renegades against the Deep State in the U.S. government to investigate an alleged plot that started 31 years ago in 1990 when George Soros and Bill Gates had sought to create an Uglo-Race of women by genetically manipulating women in the City of Calgary to look quite repulsively ugly.

Soros and Gates and their geneticists had succeeded beyond their wildest dreams.

They were hoping then to release this Uglo-Race of women upon the world in an effort to reduce the human population since no one would want to make out with such uglos.

Unbeknownst to Soros and Gates however, then Soviet KGB officer Vladimir Putin had, at the same time, designed a plot to create a Non-Master Race of Male Morons who would help bring down the Western world thus allowing Russia to take control.

Putin, after extracting DNA from some Australian who called himself Uncle Ernie, began his genetic manipulation experiments to create a Non-Master Race of Male Morons in Calgary in that same year of 1990.

The result was that the Non-Master Race of Male Morons (created by Putin) made out with the Uglo-Race of Repulsively Ugly Women (created by Soros and Gates) producing more stupid and uglier offspring than ever.

That’s why large groups of mask wearing (but unfortunately no full paper bag over head wearing) uglos and imbeciles cheered on Neo-Bolshevik Communist demagogue Dr. Joe Vipond as he spoke at various Anti-Freedom rallies in downtown Calgary over the summer.

That’s why so many brainless Calgary businesspeople and other bozos were in favour of creating a vaccine passport in the city.

Neo-Bolshevik Communist demagogue Dr. Joe Vipond had invited some of his fellow physicians who were also Neo-Bolshevik Communists to speak to the media today to push for a vaccine passport in the Canadian province of Alberta.

The Neo-Norman Bethune style physicians spoke in a Zoom video conferencing call to members of the brainless mainstream media with Alberta’s leading Neo-Bolshevik Communist demagogue Dr. Joe Vipond naturally occupying the top upper left hand corner of the screen.

Two Neo-Bolshevik Communist Calgary city councillors (both of whom were running for Mayor in this coming October’s municipal election) Councillor Jan Damery and Councillor Jyoti Gondek were both calling for vaccine passports in the City of Calgary.

The forces of Antichrist seemed to be reigning supreme in the city.

It was against this background that Pan Goatee had encountered another Uglo who had pulled up at an air pump at a gas station to pump air into her head (thus showing she was both an Uglo and an airhead).

The woman was a thin ugly stoat.

Pan Goatee had divided Calgary’s uglo female population into 3 categories of uglos: the thin ugly stoat (those women who are thin and ugly), the medium sized ugly gargoyle (those women who are medium sized and ugly) and the fat ugly blimp (those women who are fat and ugly).

As the thin ugly stoat began pumping up her head with the air pump, Goatee beheaded the thin uglo airhead with his astral laser machete.

The thin ugly stoat’s ugly airhead floated up into the sky after being separated from its body where it was promptly shot down by one of Joe Biden’s drones (which, as it turned out, was a long way from Afghanistan).

Goatee then cut up the ugly pumped up airhead and body into 999 trillion pieces.

Krampus the demon goat then carried the pieces down to Tartarus.

. . .

Pope Francis was having a conversation with the French Ambassador to the Vatican.

“We are legion,” said Francis as his eyes turned fiery red, his head spun around 360 degrees and he vomited forth ripped up copies of the Hail Mary prayer and the Saint Michael Prayer, “We have instructed our servant in Chicago Blaise Cardinal Cupich to give Communion to Methodist non-Catholic Neo-Bolshevik Communist lesbian blowhard Mayors such as Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot. We have also instructed him to bring forth an edict banning the public recitation of the Hail Mary and the Saint Michael Prayer at the end of Mass in the Chicago Archdiocese. Those prayers were interfering with the establishment of the New World Order in that city.”

“What does that have to do with France?” The French Ambassador asked.

“Pazuzu got my day calendar wrong,” Bergoglio looked at his day calendar, “That’s what happens when you’re legion.”


Will Pan Goatee someday visit the Vatican?

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 30th
2021.

Permalink 8 Comments

Another August Evening and Pan Goatee Beheads More Uglos

August 25, 2021 at 10:32 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , )

Genetically created satyr serial kiler Pan Goatee was recently proclaimed a god by the League For The Beautification of Mother Earth.

His enthronement ceremony was held this past Sunday August 22nd at a replica of the Third Temple of Diana of The Ephesians located at Miniaturk Park in Istanbul, Turkey.

Pan Goatee being enthroned as a god by the League For The Beautification of Mother Earth.
The event held in the replica Third Temple of Diana of the Ephesians was sponsored by the Quasar Astral Laser Machete Manufacturing Company and Krampus’ Extreme Weight Loss Clinics.

Pan had been flown to Istanbul and back on Yaldabaoth The Irish Leprechaun’s pet pterodactyl Simon Majestic.

Today Pan Goatee had gone down to the City of Calgary Planning and Engineering Department to behead all the brainless city planners and engineers who had ripped up all the sidewalks in Pan Goatee’s section of town.

Calgary’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist Mayor Naheed Nenshi put out a call to hire a whole bunch of new engineers and city planners as their current batch were now all dead.

The last whining and snivelling brainless city planner to be beheaded by Pan Goatee had told the satyr prior to beheading, “It wasn’t our fault. Shaw Cable had asked us to rip up the sidewalks and sides of the roads so they could put in new fibre optic cables to be part of the Mark of The Beast system that is currently being rolled out through the introduction of vaccine passports.”

Pan Goatee went down to the offices of Shaw Cable in Calgary and beheaded all their executives.

A call was put out for job interviews to fill vacancies in Executive positions at Shaw Cable since their current batch of executives were now all dead.

Tonight as Pan Goatee went for a walk in his neighbourhood, he encountered an ugly looking female cyclist.

“My God but you’re ugly,” Goatee commented in John Cleese Basil Fawlty style fashion as he beheaded her.

He then went to the Dollarama store.

There was nothing really good on sale for a dollar tonight so he left.

As he was exiting, his eyes were visually assaulted by a fat ugly blimp with pink and purple hair.

“What makes you think you fat ugly blimps are any better looking by dyeing your hair pink and purple?” Goatee pulled out his astral laser machete and beheaded the repulsively ugly creature, “It doesn’t work. All you’re doing is making the hair dye manufacturers richer before you die.”

Krampus the Demon Goat emerged from a nearby pit (where a sidewalk used to be) and carried off the dismembered remains of both the fat ugly blimp with pink and purple hair as well as the ugly female cyclist.

. . .

The Israeli Ambassador to The Vatican was meeting with the demonically possessed Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) to express the concern of Israel’s leading chief rabbis over a recent papal address in which Francis had attacked the Law of Moses (including and especially the Ten Commandments).

As Francis’ eyes glowed demonically red and his head spun around in 360 degree fashion and he vomited forth ripped pages of the first 5 books of the Bible, the pontiff growled and hissed, “We are legion. I was recently joined by Communist cardinals and archbishops from the Americas in saying that taking the vaccine is an act of love. So take the vaccine, dammit.”

“But almost all of us in Israel did take the vaccine,” the Ambassador pointed out, “And now 85% of the Covid cases in Israel are among the vaccinated.”

“Well Hitler would probably love that,” the Pontiff hissed before breaking into a rendition of,

“The babe in his cradle is closing his eyes,
The stag in the forest runs free
But gather together to greet the storm,
Tomorrow belongs to me….”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 25th
2021.

Permalink 6 Comments

Pan Goatee, The Demon Possessed Pope and Krampus The Demon Goat of Bavaria and Austro-Hungary

August 20, 2021 at 9:59 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Pan Goatee: He gets by with a little help from his friends.

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was trying to manoevre the streets and sidewalks of Calgary which seem to be totally ripped up this summer and turned into huge pits designed for pedestrians to fall into.

In addition to the sidewalks being ripped up with huge gaping pits around for pedestrians to fall into, the bloody assholes from the City of Calgary kept on moving the bus stops.

You generally had to walk anywhere from 6 to 8 blocks to find a bus stop.

Most fell into the pits where sidewalks used to be and were never heard or seen from again.

And tragedy of tragedies, ironically enough, the only pedestrians who didn’t seem to fall into the pits were the city’s quite repulsive and hideously ugly fat ugly blimps.

They used the power of the dark magic witchcraft of Hecate (in her crone form which was her ugliest form) to avoid the pits the City of Calgary construction (more appropriately named deconstruction) crews had dug.

Pat Goatee used his high IQ and powerful intellect to manoevre around these pits.

Fat ugly blimps used the most diabolical of dark magic witchcraft to avoid the pits where sidewalks used to be.

Goatee was trying to locate a bus stop when a fat ugly blimp tried to pass him.

“All these bloody construction crews must have opened up the gates of Hell in digging these pits allowing these fat ugly blimps to come up from the netherworld from Hecate’s Elephantine Sized Human Chamber of Horrors,” Goatee commented as he beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Krampus the demon goat of Bavaria and Austria-Hungary emerged from one of the pits and carried the fat ugly blimp’s remains back down to Hell.

Goatee eventually found a bus stop.

A bus finally arrived at the stop about 20 minutes later.

8 blocks later, the bus stopped at another stop.

A fat ugly blimp got on the bus at the bus stop.

“How do you fat ugly blimps manage to avoid falling into those pits where sidewalks used to be?” Goatee remarked as he beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces, “It’s an even bigger mystery than who built the pyramids, who built Stonehenge and how do they get the Caramilk inside the Caramilk bar? Although you fat ugly blimps have probably eaten enough Caramilk bars in your life to be able to figure out that mystery.”

Krampus the demon goat of Bavaria and Austro-Hungary got on the bus where he packed up and carried the remains of the just beheaded and dismembered fat ugly blimp into the nearest pit (where a sidewalk used to be) and carried the fat ugly blimp down to Hell.

Goatee made a mental note to himself to go down to the City of Calgary Planning and Engineering Department next week and behead and dismember all of the assholes who work there.

Goatee went home and watched his favourite soap opera The Young and The Restless.

Goatee had come to the conclusion that the character of Billy Abbott was a jackass and he’d behead and dismember the fellow if he ever met him.

After watching the news which, like most mainstream news, was full of Neo-Bolshevik Communist Covid-1984 propaganda, Goatee left to go eat at a nearby Vietnamese restaurant.

The restaurant was of course full of Vietnamese people (which was a sign that excellent real authentic Vietnamese food was cooked there).

There was only one other white person in the restaurant besides Pan Goatee and with Pan Goatee’s typical bad luck, that one white person happened to be a fat ugly blimp.

Goatee immediately beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

“I wish someone,” Goatee remarked, “would invent a nuclear bomb that killed fat ugly blimps and left other people intact. It would be a good idea to detonate it over the entire City of Calgary. My astral laser machete can only do so much.”

Krampus the demon goat of Bavaria and Austro-Hungary entered the restaurant and after placing a take-out order for Beef Spring Rolls, packed up the remains of the latest beheaded and dismembered fat ugly blimp and carried her into the nearby closest pit (where a sidewalk used to be) and transported the Hecate and Oprah worshipping fat ugly blimp down to Hell.

He later returned to pick up his Beef Spring Rolls.

. . .

The U.S. Ambassador To The Vatican was having a rare Friday evening meetng with Pope Francis.

The Ambassador was bringing a message from the senile old fool Baphomet, Baal, Moloch and Mephistopheles worshipping “Catholic” President Joe Biden on how to proceed with their latest plans for a Neo-Bolshevik Communist One World Government.

“What do you think of this Pan Goatee character?” The Ambassador asked Francis as the story on the radio in the papal study was about Pan Goatee’s latest slayings, “Do you think he’s demonically possessed?”.

Being the liberal modernist “Catholic” that he was, he didn’t really believe in demonic possession or even in the Supernatural for that matter but somehow his Darwinian/Teilhardian evolutionary philosophy really couldn’t explain someone like Pan Goatee.

“We are Legion,” said Francis as his eyes turned blazing fiery red and his head started spinning around and he started vomiting out copies of Pope Benedict XVI’s 2007 Motu Proprio Summorum Pontificum from his mouth.

As Francis kept repeating over and over, “We are Legion” and gave every sign of being demonically possessed himself, the U.S. Ambassador to the Vatican decided that now might be the time to leave.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 20th
2021.

Permalink 12 Comments

Toddy Sween The Demon Barber of Fifth Avenue

August 18, 2021 at 10:38 pm (Aesthetics, Horror, Mystery/horror, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was walking towards his neighbourhood shopping centre.

As he was crossing the street a fat ugly blimp approached.

“What is it with you blimps?” Pan removed his astral laser machete, “The local news channels, when they aren’t busy scaremongering and bullshitting and changing statistics with regard to the Delta variant, have pointed out that ugly women have been beheaded here the past few weeks and yet you repulsive uglos keep coming back here ruining my day when my eyes are visually assaulted by your fugly appearance. Do you morons enjoy being beheaded or something? Or have you watched so much Ophrah in your couch surfing and refrigerator raiding existence that you have a false sense of self-esteem (which invariably happens to people who have watched too much Oprah) and actually suffer from the delusion that you’re not ugly? Rest assured you are ugly. And quite repulsively ugly at that.”

Goatee beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

An operative for evil globalists George Soros and Bill Gates stood across the street taking notes in his notebook and pencil sketching and painting a watercolour in his sketchpad of the scene to report back to Soros and Gates about Pan Goatee.

. . .

Toddy Sween the Demon Barber of Fifth Avenue in New York was being visited by Mephistopheles the fallen Archangel.

Sween had sold his soul to Mephistopheles during the pandemic last year after his barber shop like other small businesses (which didn’t have the influence of Wal-Mart or Home Depot) were closed by orders of New York City’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist Mayor Bill de Blasio and the Moloch worshipping New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo.

In exchange, Sween slit the throat of every 7th customer of his and dropped him down the hole underneath his barber chair.

The vampiress great great great grandmother of American country singer Lyle Lovett (Lyle didn’t know she was still alive) who owned a meat pie shop next door would use the bodies as ingredients for her meat pies.

Mephistopheles also said he would call upon Toddy Sween to do favours for him whenever he asked.

Sween on this day was given a list by Mephistopheles of people whose throats should be slit.

“These people live all over the world,” Sween noted, “How much time do I have to slit their throats?”.

“24 hours,” Mephistopheles replied.

“24 hours?” Toddy was incredulous, “How am I supposed to get around the world in 24 hours?”.

“The ancient Assyrian/Mesopotamian/Babylonian demon Pazuzu is going to carry you on his back,” Mephistopheles replied.

Mephistopheles whistled.

And the demon Pazuzu appeared.

The demon Pazuzu.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 18th
2021.

Permalink 2 Comments

CNN’s Jim Acosta Follows Pan Goatee On A Night of Aesthetic Cleansing

August 15, 2021 at 10:48 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )


Pan Goatee: Ridding the world of fat ugly blimps one fat ugly blimp at a time.

It was August 15th 2021.

Pachamama was crawling on the wall of the Sistine Chapel as Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) applauded approvingly.

Canada’s moronic sometimes minstrel show blackfaced Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had just called a national federal election on the advice of Tezcatlipoca the Aztec god of night and sorcery.

His election slogan is FORWARD which was the same slogan used by Lenin’s Bolsheviks while campaigning for the Russian Constituent Assembly election of 1917 (that was held from November 25th to December 9th 1917).

Lenin’s Bolsheviks who did not win a majority dissolved the Constituent Assembly in January 1918.

The Afghan capital of Kabul had also fallen to the Taliban on this day becoming senile old fool Joe Biden’s Saigon.

CNN’s obnoxious, pompous and arrogant Neo-Bolshevik Communist broadcaster Jim Acosta had been assigned by his New World Order Ministry of Propaganda editors at CNN to cover world famous satyr serial killer Pan Goatee for the day.

The broadcaster and his camera man followed Pan Goatee as he walked across a shopping centre parking lot where a moronic looking fat ugly blimp made the mistake of trying to walk in front of the satyr.

Pan immediately beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

When Acosta had finished vomiting, he asked his camera man, “Did you get all that?”.

When the camera man had finished vomiting, he answered, “Unfortunately I did.”

They then followed Goatee into a Save-On-Foods grocery store (the name like everything else in today’s Covid-1984 Ministry of Truth world did not mean what it said).

The store was quite naturally out of its cheapest generic no-name brand Diet Cola so Goatee was forced to grab bottles of the far more expensive Pepsi Zero (which wasn’t as good as the equally expensive but at least it tastes good Coca-Cola Zero which the store was naturally out of as well).

When Goatee went to the cash register line-up, his eyes were visually assaulted by a repulsively ugly fat ugly blimp standing in line with her equally moronic looking boyfriend.

“Shit!” Goatee exclaimed as he beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Both Jim Acosta and his camera man started vomiting after having seen the fat ugly blimp.

Goatee then said to the late fat ugly blimp’s moronic boyfriend, “Don’t you realize by fucking a fat ugly blimp like that, you’re helping to populate the world with yet more repulsively ugly people?”.

“No, I didn’t realize that,” the moron replied in a moronic monotone.

“I bet you received a double dose of the vaccine already didn’t you?” Goatee asked the moron.

“Yes,” the moron nodded.

“I bet you’re going to go for a third dose of the vaccine in Canada aren’t you when it’s available?” Goatee inquired, “Following the example of Israel who’s now giving a third dose to its citizens because 95% of those now hospitalized in Israel with Covid HAVE BEEN vaccinated twice. Although that fact hasn’t been reported by the brainless mainstream media in the western world.”

“In defence of the brainless mainstream media in the western world,” CNN’s Jim Acosta piped up, “All the Covid vaccines are referred to by the CDC (Center For Disease Control) as Year Zero Vaccines. And as we know, 2 x 0 = 0. So we in the brainless mainstream media in the U.S. refer to those cases as Unvaccinated since 2 x 0 = 0.”

“I am going for a third dose of the vaccine,” the late fat ugly blimp’s moronic boyfriend acknowledged.

“Well then allow me to kill you before the vaccine finally does,” Goatee beheaded the moron and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

Goatee decided not to buy anything after all and put the two bottles of Pepsi Zero back because as Jim Acosta just told him, “2 x 0 = 0”.

Goatee then exited the store where this time his eyes were then visually assaulted by the most obnoxious repulsively fattest ugliest blimp of them all this evening.

“You disgrace to humanity and you antithesis of Beauty,” Goatee spoke in Sir Laurence Olivieresque tones, “why don’t you go back in the closet where you fat ugly blimps belong along with the sodomites and other perverts?”.

Goatee beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Acosta accidentally vomited all over Goatee’s apparel.

Pan Goatee as he looked before he was vomited upon by CNN’s Jim Acosta.

Goatee immediately beheaded Jim Acosta and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

When senile old fool Joe Biden heard in the Oval Office, as he was patting his dead stuffed German shepherd dog Champ who was still erotically clinging to Biden’s right leg, that CNN’s Jim Acosta had been beheaded and cut up into 999 trillion pieces, he immediately ordered DARPA to put Acosta back together again as he, along with everyone else at CNN, was a 21st Century equivalent of Nazi Minister of Propaganda Joseph Gobbels.

After getting ahold of an old antique manuscript written by one Dr. Victor Frankenstein, DARPA managed to put Jim Acosta back together again.

“Good thing I captured all that electricity in a bottle after lightning struck the Washington Monument last night,” remarked one DARPA operative.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday August 15th
2021.

Permalink 8 Comments

Tezcatlipoca Recalls The Fall of Tenochtitlan

August 13, 2021 at 10:57 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

It was 500 years ago today back on August 13th 1521 that the Aztec Empire’s capital of Tenochtitlan fell to the Spanish.

Tezcatlipoca the Aztec god of smoking obsidian mirrors, the night, sorcery and darkness was feeling depressed on this anniversary for that day had marked the end of an empire that had worshipped him and performed human sacrifices to him.

Ever since Tezcatlipoca had struggled to find something to do.

Recently after Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had bought himself a pot smoking antique mirror, Tezcatlipoca had appeared in the mirror’s reflection and tried to give Trudeau advice.

Unfortunately the advice was lost as Canada’s Prime Minister was a complete total absolute idiot.

However Tezcatlipoca had made appearances to other individuals such as George Soros, Bill Gates, Klaus Schwab and Pope Francis and told them to “Build Back Better”.

Thus it was Tezcatlipoca the Aztec god of darkness and sorcery who had coined the slogan Build Back Better.

What he meant by Build Back Better was to rebuild Tenochtitlan.

But to rebuild Tenochtitlan on a global scale.

So there would be human sacrifices everywhere and not just in Mexico City like in the days when Mexico City was called Tenochtitlan.

For this reason he had recently helped Pfifer, Moderna, Astrazeneca and Johnson & Johnson as well as companies in Russia and China to develop vaccines.

He had also been giving advice to an obnoxious, pompous and self-righteous little twit named Dr. Anthony Fauci.

Tezcatlipoca who had been flying atop a winged black jaguar looked down to see where he was.

He couldn’t tell so he ordered his winged black jaguar to land.

He looked around and said to himself, “Gee, are the women in this city ever ugly.”

He recognized a satyr from Greek mythology walking around with an astral laser machete.

The satyr followed a fat ugly blimp out of a small convenience store.

The satyr (whose name was Pan Goatee) then beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

The blimp was now in pieces and to the right of the fat ugly blimp’s multitudinous remains were 6 huge block bags of ice she had been carrying.

“You and your wife must be quite the alcoholics,” Pan Goatee approached the fat ugly blimp’s moronic looking husband who was standing beside a truck waiting to put the bags of ice in the back, “to need that many large block bags of ice.”

Goatee then beheaded the moron and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

He then pulled out a grenade and threw it into the open window of the truck causing a huge explosion that blew the truck up into 999 trillion pieces.

“That fellow is very impressive,” Tezcatlipoca remarked to the entity who was standing next to him.

Who was none other than Mictlantecuhtli the Aztec god of the dead and the underworld.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 13th
2021.

Permalink 2 Comments

Next page »