The Inspector and The Baker’s Daughter

May 6, 2020 at 11:23 pm (Arts, Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, International Intrigue, Literature, Mystery, News, Poetry, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The Inspector and The Baker’s Daughter


“Are you looking for something, Inspector?” The girl asked him.

A day began like any other for the Inspector
Yet no ordinary day 
These are no ordinary times
Covid-19 pandemic in world.

2 days ago police in Beijing
arrested a professor 
Chen Zhaozhi 
Former professor at the Beijing University of Science and Technology 
for calling Covid-19 
The Chinese Communist Party Virus

But Beijing’s arrest did not concern the French police detective 
What concerned the Paris police detective was a matter that concerned
The Paris Grand Orient Lodge
For British MP Renfield R. Renfield
had sent a confidential report today 
to a French and European politician
The Kraken who called himself Napoleon VI
The leader of the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party 

French President Macron had ordered surveillance of the Kraken’s
emails and text messages
And today Renfield had sent the Kraken 
a confidential report 
which was said to be from Five Eyes
The joint intelligence service of the U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand and the United Kingdom
The report claimed that the Covid-19 virus
Was indeed a virus that had accidentally escaped from the Wuhan Institute of Virology

At an emergency meeting of the Grand Orient Lodge
Isis, Osiris and Horus 
demanded to know 
whether the Renfield report 
was an actual copy of a Five Eyes 
Intelligence Report 
or whether the whole report was a 
piece of Renfieldian disinformation
designed to prevent Emmanuel Macron 
from ordering take out deliveries of Chinese food in Paris

A person that the Paris Police Inspector 
thought might know
was Marmalade Montague
a baker and a man 
from whom the Kraken bought 
his croissant rolls and Chinese hot steamed buns 

The Paris inspector himself used to buy his cinnamon buns from Marmalade Montague
Montague had recently been thrown out of his bakery 
for lack of payment of rent
due to decline in business 
during the Paris Covid-19 lockdown 
However the inspector decided to visit Montague’s apartment 
Perhaps the baker still lived there
As the building’s landlord had died 
from the Covid-19 virus and his estate was still up in the air

The Inspector entered the apartment
As he passed by the kitchen, he noticed hot cinnamon buns lying on the counter
So the inspector stopped and ate one
He ended up eating all 6 dozen.

The Inspector received a text message on his smart phone 
saying that Marmalade Montague kept poison in his bathroom medicine cabinet.
He went to check out the medicine cabinet 
The bathroom door was still open 
And that’s when the Inspector noticed Marmalade Montague’s lovely daughter Irene
sitting in a chair 
in a corner of the living room 

“Are you looking for something, Inspector?” The girl asked him.

“I was told your father kept poison in his medicine cabinet,” the inspector replied.
“He did but it’s no longer there,” Irene told him.
“Where is it?” The inspector asked.
“I added it to my dad’s recipe for his famous cinnamon buns that I left on the kitchen counter,” Irene answered.

The Inspector never did show up to that evening’s non-social distancing meeting of the Grand Orient Lodge.
A copy of Edgar Allan Poe’s short story Murders In The Rue Morgue was sent to the meeting
with a notation on the page 
before the title page 
that this was where the Inspector was to be found.

-A narrative poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 6th
2020.

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Origins of May The Fourth

May 4, 2020 at 10:00 pm (Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Movies, Mystery, News, Science-Fiction, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Origins of May The Fourth

Back in the mid-1970s as George Lucas was holding auditions for the voice of Darth Vader for his upcoming Star Wars motion picture, among those auditioning for the voice role were writer and actor Truman Capote.

This was the line all audition participants were to speak when auditioning for the Darth Vader voice role, “May the Force be with you.”

Then it came Truman Capote’s turn to audition.

Truman Capote (speaking with his usual fruity lisp): May the fourth be with you.

Thinking that for a galactic villain whose voice was supposed to send chills down audience spines and make their blood run cold, the makers of Star Wars settled for the deep baritone voice of James Earl Jones instead.

However back in the early 2000s, an Australian with the popular nickname of Uncle Ernie found the Truman Capote audition video tape in an old Star Wars lunch box he found in some old cupboards in his backyard unregulated and illegal pharmaceutical manufacturing lab.

And a legend was born.

Since that time, May the Fourth became known as International Star Wars Day.

As May the Force Be With You became Truman Capote’s immortal May the Fourth Be With You.

. . .

“Beam me up, Scotty,” William Shatner spoke to his AI automated dispenser of his favourite brand of toilet paper as he sat on his starship throne.

. . .

Meanwhile in the catacombs of Paris, Marmalade Montague the eccentric former baker who had recently proclaimed himself Court Scientist to the Court of Louis Quatorze overheard a plot by a group of Grand Orient Lodge Freemasons to turn Notre Dame Cathedral into a New Age Freemasonic Temple.

Said the Grand Orient Lodge master, “I’ve been told by the Divine Falcon Headed Human Body Hybrid Horus himself that a world altering miracle will happen this coming May 14th.”

“That’s the same day Pope Francis told all the religions of the world to pray together isn’t it?” the Lodge secretary inquired.

“It is,” the Grand Orient Lodge master answered.

Marmalade Montague decided he better exit the catacombs before his presence was noted.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 4th 
2020.


The Greek goddess Aphrodite pointing downwards at a snake slithering along the floor of one of the Vatican Museum halls.

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Cernunnos’ One Man Paris Stag Party and A Renfield Livestream Podcast

April 26, 2020 at 10:42 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Cernunnos’ One Man Paris Stag Party and A Renfield Livestream Podcast

Cernunnos the Celtic stag god was walking the streets of Paris carrying his crossbow and poisoned arrows.

He was approached on one of the empty Paris streets by a gendarme who barked at him, “I want to see your papers.”

This sentence so reminiscent of the old Third Reich and the old USSR was heard a lot on the streets of what had previously passed for the world’s democracies these days.

Cernunnos raised his crossbow and shot an arrow.

“Merde,” was the Paris gendarme’s last word before he died.

The Celtic stag god then went to look at the River Seine.

It seemed to be much clearer and more fish in it ever since the lockdown occurred.

Cernunnos looked to the other side of the River Seine and noticed the Greek nature god Pan walking on its banks.

He had been dead for several centuries and now he was back.

Cernunnos went back and listened to a podcast in the Paris apartment he had recently commandeered by slaying its owner.

On it was British MP Renfield R. Renfield who said it was the Industrial Revolution that had ultimately led to the world’s pollution and environmental degradation.

In the post pandemic world, Renfield suggested going back to a more pre-industrial revolution rural society where a lot of products were grown and made locally.

This would help employment locally plus the food produced would be fresher and also free of all the crap that a lot of major global food conglomerates put in the food they sold.

Renfield suggested avoiding being ruled by a centralized global world government that was being advocated by Communist eugenicists like Pope Francis, Bill and Melinda Gates, the WHO and the United Nations.

Renfield quoted the late U.S. President Ronald Reagan who once said, “There’s no more terrifying words in the English language than someone saying, “Hi, I’m from the government and I’m here to help.” ‘

Renfield pointed out how helpful the PRC government in Beijing was when they ignored the words of a Wuhan opthalmologist and denied a problem even existed.

Or how the governments of the world did not end travel to and from China at the start of mounting reports of an epidemic with the exception of the usually moronic Donald Trump.

How governments screw up, Renfield said, can be seen on the question of face masks.

Even though the WHO itself said there’s no evidence that face masks stop transmission of the Coronavirus, Renfield noted, “California’s neo-Stalinist governor Gavin Newsom is having people arrested for not wearing face masks. When all this is over, the people of California should revoke Gov. Newsom’s March 2019 moratorium on capital punishment and celebrate the occasion by having Gov. Newsom shot by firing squad. Just like Norwegians revoked their past tradition of long anti-capital punishment laws temporarily after World War II just so they could have the pleasure of shooting Quisling by firing squad.”

“I like this guy,” Cernunnos took a swig of Jägermeister and continued to watch Renfield’s livestream.

“So seeing as how we see governments are constantly screwing up at the local, regional and national levels, what makes you think a world government will be less susceptible to major screw-ups?” Renfield took a swig of whisky, “The bigger the government, the bigger the screw-ups. Smile my friends. The days of fossil fuels are over. This can be seen by the fact the Rockefellers are moving out of Standard Oil. They’ve obviously received insider information that a more environmentally friendly energy source is now on its way. My former boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set moved all his money out of oil industry investments at the start of this year. We don’t need a global Communist One World government ending the fossil fuels industry for us. It’s going to happen anyways. Tell Bill Gates where he can shove his 666 Mark of The Beast vaccine. In fact, if you get the opportunity, shove it in that place on Bill Gates’ own person. Then take pictures with your smart phone. When you see the highly unusual multitude of colours suddenly appearing on Bill Gates’ buttocks, then get down on your knees and thank God you didn’t take Bill and Melinda Gates’ 666 Mark of the Beast vaccine. Thank you for listening, ladies and gentlemen. And God bless the alcohol distillery industry.”

Renfield slides off his chair on to the floor as credits are shown on the livestream and the melody of Sir Edward Elgar’s Land of Hope and Glory is played.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday April 26th
2020.

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215 Years Since Napoleon Bonaparte’s Coronation In Notre Dame Cathedral

December 2, 2019 at 11:57 pm (Fantasy, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

215 Years Since Napoleon Bonaparte’s Coronation In Notre Dame Cathedral

It was 215 years ago today that Napoleon Bonaparte had himself crowned as Emperor of the French in Notre Dame Cathedral.

Pope Pius VII had held the crown at the coronation ceremony in Notre Dame but Napoleon grabbed the crown from the pontiff and crowned himself Emperor of The French.

The Kraken Napoleon VI (who was a huge admirer of the original Emperor Napoleon I) decided to mark the occasion by having himself crowned Emperor of the French again.

He had himself crowned Emperor of the French by the Monsignor of Notre Dame Cathedral back on December 2nd 2015.

But no one in the French government or any voters among the French electorate recognized the Imperial Coronation much to the Kraken’s disappointment.

Of course on this particular occasion Notre Dame Cathedral was now closed to the public since the April fire in the cathedral earlier this year.

And the Monsignor of Notre Dame Cathedral attended classes on the Quran every Monday night so he was unable to attend for the Kraken’s re-coronation service this evening.

So the Kraken decided to hold his re-coronation ceremony (marking the original Napoleon’s 215th year of coronation) in front of Paris’ famous Arc de Triomphe.

He wore neo-Napoleonic French Imperial robes designed by the House of Chanel to easily accommodate his 8 arms.

He hired a stork (who had tired of the baby delivering business) to fly down and deposit the Crown of Napoleon I on his head after fireworks had gone off and the Orchestre de Paris had finished played a stirring rendition of La Marseillaise as well as the theme music from the 1983 James Bond film Octopussy.

The ceremony went off without a hitch.

Donald Trump, who was currently in London for tomorrow’s 70th Anniversary meeting of NATO, watched the coronation ceremony on British television.

Trump thought to himself, “I really should have myself crowned Emperor of America.”

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was likewise in London for the 70th Anniversary meeting of NATO.

He had recently heard the good news from CSIS (Canadian Security Intelligence Service) that a pair of time travellers had gone back in time and rescued his pet pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever from being murdered by PRC Ministry of State Security operatives on Xi Jinping’s orders.

Justin Trudeau had heard that Strawberry Fields Forever was currently being kept on the colossal London estate of the Egyptian billionaire Set who owned the multi-billion dollar research and development firm Set Enterprises.

Trudeau directed the Canadian Embassy car to be driven to the Set mansion so he could re-unite with his old friend Strawberry Fields Forever.

However Justin did not announce his visit and the Embassy car was set upon by the Set Estate’s guard and watch cat Nefertiti Galore who tore the Rolls-Royce limousine apart with her claws.

She then set out after the Canadian Prime Minister and the Embassy chauffeur.

The Embassy chauffeur managed to escape.

Justin wasn’t so lucky.

He had his clothes ripped off by Nefertiti Galore’s claws.

He was then arrested by Scotland Yard police for exposing himself on the streets of London.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield and his friend the vampiress Mei-ling Manchu were in London and were walking back from a service commemorating the victims of last Friday’s London Bridge attack.

Renfield happened to walk in the way of Donald Trump who happened to be exiting his limousine.

Trump who thought Renfield could be as easily pushed around as the Prime Minister of Montenegro a couple of years back pushed Renfield out of the way.

Big mistake on Trump’s part.

Renfield turned around and punched Trump in the head sending his golden urine coloured toupee flying 50 feet down the street.

Secret Service agents tackled Renfield to the ground thinking he was an assassin.

Big mistake on the Secret Service agents’ part.

Mei-ling Manchu moved quickly into action and used her martial arts skills to kick and send all of the Secret Service agents flying over the dome of Saint Paul’s Cathedral.

A dirigible flying above the dome carried John Donne’s message, “Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 2nd 
2019.

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Guns and The Music of The Night

August 12, 2019 at 10:58 pm (Fantasy, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Poetry, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural) (, , , , )

Guns and The Music of The Night

Cosmos is truly a cosmic word
It means the whole created order 
Cosmos therefore means much more than universe
Cosmos could mean there are multiverses

In C.S. Lewis’ Narnia books, he talked of a planet where a plethora of worlds grew as trees 
Lewis was truly a visionary 
In his book That Hideous Strength 
He foresaw the rise of Transhumanist science that would occur 50 years later
And as breakthroughs in physics happen day by day 
Which seem to indicate that there are multiverses 
Lewis foresaw that too

And so in another time and another place 
In a multiverse far away
Carmen Rouge stood at the window of an early 20th Century Paris

A Paris under siege by the Kaiser’s forces 
And not stuck in the trenches of northern France during the First World War as happened in our universe

Outside the window was Carmen Rouge’s steampunk artillery gun 
Ready to bring down German aeroplanes and airships

On her small table in front of the window 
Was the candelabra her father carried 
In the depths of the Paris Opera House
Attached to the stand of the candelabra was the mask he wore 
Next to the candelabra was an old phonograph that played her father’s voice 
Her father singing to her mother,
“Softly, deftly, music shall caress you,
hear it, fear it, secretly possess you…
In this darkness which you know you cannot fight 
The darkness of the music of the night”.

For Carmen Rouge is the daughter of Christine Daae and Erik
The Phantom of the Opera

And so around this particular window
In a Paris apartment 
In another Paris
In another universe 
You have both guns
And the music of the night 

-A poem written by Christopher
Monday August 12th
2019.

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Hera At The French Presidential Palace

July 12, 2019 at 10:40 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Hera At The French Presidential Palace 

The Greek goddess Hera went and sat in a corner of the grand ballroom in the French Presidential Palace where her image was caught by a photographer who loved the beauty of old time black and white photography.

Hera was hoping to get away from French President Emmanuel Macron who seemed to be getting somewhat amorous with her.

He kept asking questions about her age and saying things like, “Surely as a Greek Olympian goddess, you’re far older than I am.”

She went to this corner of the grand ballroom far away from Macron’s lecherous looks.

The French President was currently unveiling an oil painting sent to him as a farewell present from British Prime Minister Theresa May who would be formally stepping down as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom in another couple of weeks.

The painting had been purchased at and delivered by the world famous Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London.

Macron got quite excited when he saw the name of the painting on the box in which it came- Portrait of A Cougar.

The whole ballroom could see the immense disappointment on the French President’s face when the painting was unveiled and it turned out to be a portrait of a puma mountain lion wildcat in the Canadian Rockies.

Hera had to laugh.

The Olympian goddess was soon approached by Set Enterprises’ spy and secret agent the 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka invisible bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger.

Being a goddess, she could see the invisible bunny rabbit (whereas most mortals couldn’t unless they had been drinking Harvey Wallbanger cocktails or if Harvey had turned his 1960s ViewMaster on).

“The goddess Isis informs me that you’re looking for Dracul Van Helsing,” Tallbanger bowed to the Olympic beauty.

Indeed Hera was.

She had just recently found out that her husband Zeus had flown several trips on Jeremy Epstein’s Lolita Express plane.

The goddess was so angered that she decided to turn to Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing for comfort.

Tallbanger told the goddess that Dracul Van Helsing was waiting for her in a large private booth in a quiet cafe along the Champs-Élysées.

Hera thanked the tall bunny rabbit secret agent, stood up and exited the French Presidential Palace.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher 
Friday July 12th 
2019.

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Harvey Tallbanger Meets Egyptian Vampiress On The Eiffel Tower

July 10, 2019 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Romance, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Harvey Tallbanger Meets Egyptian Vampiress On The Eiffel Tower

After a successful month of intelligence gathering for the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set this past June, Set Enterprises’ secret agent and spy the 6 foot 8 invisible Welsh pooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger was taking some much needed r and r.

He decided to go to Paris the City of Lights for a few days as he was quite fond of the city.

Tonight he was having dinner atop the Eiffel Tower in a very lovely restaurant located there.

He was enjoying a glass of champagne when he was suddenly spotted by the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis:

Isis with drink and iPhone and elegant watch in hand approached the tall bunny rabbit who was clearly visible on this lovely and enchanting Parisienne evening having turned his Dr. Cadbury Rocher prototype ViewMaster on (which made him visible).

“So you’re Harvey Tallbanger the world’s most famous bunny rabbit secret agent?” Isis sat across from him.

“I am,” Tallbanger bowed, “and you are?”.

“I am the Vampiress Isis,” the beautiful vampiress answered, “your boss Set’s rival, arch enemy, sister and sister-in-law.”

“Yes, I heard my boss had a falling out with your side of the family,” Tallbanger sipped his champagne, “I hear you and his brother (your husband) Osiris and his nephew (your son) Horus have it in for him.”

“And with justifiable reasons,” Isis flashed her vampiric incisors.

“What big teeth you have,” Harvey recalled lines from his favourite fairy tale, “I regrettably do not have a family to fight with as I was genetically created in Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s lab at Set Enterprises. It was seeing the 1950 Jimmy Stewart movie Harvey that gave Dr. Rocher the idea.”

“Why don’t you come and work for me?” Isis touched his rabbit’s foot for luck.

“Well I am under contract to Set for another 3 years,” Tallbanger noted, “and I don’t become a free agent spy until then.”

“It was rather unfair for Set to bring you out of the blue like that at last year’s secret agent and spy draft in Las Vegas,” Isis seethed, “The only reason he got first round draft pick was because of some deal he made years ago in which he traded Stormy Daniels to the Russians for last year’s first round draft pick.”

“It was my understanding that Vladimir Putin was able to achieve quite a great deal of success with that deal,” Tallbanger helped himself to some Russian caviar.

“Putin is a master chess player,” Isis finished her drink and waved to the waiter for another.

“I’ve been told you’re a master chess player as well,” Tallbanger ordered a tequila sunrise.

“Thank you,” Isis smiled at him, “and I intend to make use of a knight.”

“A lovely night for it,” Tallbanger commented.

Isis raised her glass in toast.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 10th
2019.

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Harvey Tallbanger and The Artist

April 28, 2019 at 10:54 pm (Art, Arts, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Inspiration, International Intrigue, Life, love, News, painting, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The night was somewhat cool as if February had crept in to steal a backwards glance in the midst of a late April evening.

And Liam Van Stope carried his work with him as he walked from place to place.

For Liam Van Stope was an artist and the work he carried was a huge white sketchpad along with a box of pastel crayons.

There he would walk from cafe to cafe sketching and colouring the patrons and customers.

For Liam Van Stope wished that the Paris of Toulouse-Lautrec and Vincent Van Gogh would never go away.

Oblivious to the idea that the Paris of Van Gogh and Lautrec was separate from the Paris of 2019 by more than a century.

And soon the Paris of F. Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway would likewise be separated from the contemporary Paris by a century.

And as far as the thinking of Emmanuel Macron and some of the world’s so-called leading architects goes, the Notre Dame of the ages would soon be separated by a new Notre Dame by vast millenia.

Liam Van Stope walked into Quasimodo’s Cafe an establishment named after Victor Hugo’s famous character who had carried a hunted gypsy girl across the threshold of the Notre Dame of the ages and cried “Sanctuary”.

Liam recognized Esmeralda the gypsy girl who like her namesake in Victor Hugo’s novel danced the eternal dance of the gypsies though unlike her namesake danced in this cafe on weekends and not on the streets in front of Notre Dame at night unintentionally arousing the lust of a Notre Dame archdeacon who would endeavour to bring Hell on earth instead of absolution when his lust went unrequited.

Liam ordered a cognac and looked around the cafe on this quiet Sunday evening wondering whom he could sketch.

When he first entered the cafe, he had noticed Esmeralda talking animatedly to the empty seat next to her.

Ah, Liam thought to himself, when he had seen this, that will soon be all of us one day. All of us talking to ghosts. Talking to ghosts of a Paris that will soon be found only in the history books.

Esmeralda noticed Liam sitting in the corner booth with his sketch pad open at a blank page and his sketching pencil in hand waiting to draw when the inspiration hit.

She motioned to the maitre’d and pointed in Liam’s direction.

Within minutes, the maitre’d arrived at Liam’s table with a drink in hand that looked to be partially made from orange juice.

‘Excuse me, sir,” the maitre’d said, “but Miss Esmeralda thinks you might like to drink this for inspiration.”

“What is it?” Liam asked.

“It’s called a Harvey Wallbanger, sir,” the British maitre’d working with stiff upper lip in a Parisienne cafe replied.

The maitre’d bowed and left.

Liam took a sip of the drink.

Then another.

And then another.

It was good, Liam had to admit.

The artist then noticed that sitting next to Esmeralda at the bar was a bunny rabbit.

A very tall bunny rabbit.

Probably about 6 foot 8 in height, Liam estimated.

The bunny rabbit was white in colour with big pink floppety ears and a big pink floppety tail.

He was wearing a pair of denim blue colour overalls as well as a tall black bowler hat that his big pink floppety ears were sticking through.

Liam began sketching and began applying the pastel crayons to his subject.

He had soon completed the picture.

“Excuse me, sir,” Liam walked up to the bunny rabbit, “but what is your name?”.

“Harvey Tallbanger,” the rabbit replied.

“A name that must be recorded for posterity,” Liam said as he wrote down the name.

The artist then bowed to Esmeralda and said, “Thank you for the drink.”

When he returned to his studio apartment, Liam had been doing some reflecting on his subject of Harvey Tallbanger.

There was something quixotic about that bunny rabbit, Liam thought to himself.

He went over to his palette and canvas.

He decided he would paint Harvey Wallbanger as Don Quixote.

Minus the knightly armour.

He would have Harvey wearing his denim blue coloured overalls and his bowler hat (through which his big pink floppety ears would stick through) but he’d be riding Don Quixote’s horse Rocinante and he’d have a lance in his hand and he’d be charging at the windmill atop the Moulin Rouge cabaret in the Montmartre district of Paris.

As he painted, Liam sang the theme song from the musical Man of La Mancha:

“To dream the impossible dream
to fight the unbeatable foe

To run where the brave dare not go

To reach the unreachable star…”

And with that, Liam Van Stope a dreamer painted his quixotic picture of the 6 foot 8 invisible Welsh pooka bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger now visible in his blue denim coloured overalls and black bowler hat (through which his big pink floppety ears stuck through) as Don Quixote riding his horse and battling the windmill atop the Moulin Rouge cabaret.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday April 28th
2019.


Esmeralda the gypsy: Inspiring bunny rabbits like Harvey Tallbanger
and artists like Liam Van Stope.

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Harvey Tallbanger In Paris

April 27, 2019 at 8:53 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka invisible bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger who was personal spy to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was in Paris to see how the Kraken Napoleon VI’s Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party was doing in preparation for next month’s European Parliament elections.

The French Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party leader Napoleon VI (a Kraken) had formed an alliance with one of Set’s former employees the British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield to run under a joint party banner for the elections.

Of course if Britain somehow managed to Brexit before the elections, Renfield’s party would be out of the running.

Most big shot bureaucrats in Brussels as well as French President Emmanuel Macron and Pope Francis were hoping Britain would manage to Brexit before the elections to prevent Renfield from getting into the European Parliament where he would no doubt use his influence to finish off the globalist New World Order European Union once and for all.

Militant Islamist terrorist groups and the Jesuit order were also upset by Renfield’s decision to sit as an atheist representative on the Committee For The Canonization of Charles Martel.

Of course Charles Martel had a snowball’s chance in Hell of being proclaimed a Saint by the Catholic Church as long as Francis was Pope but it was the principle of the matter that upset the militant Islamist terrorists and the Jesuits.

Harvey Tallbanger had spent the day touring Notre Dame Cathedral with the Kraken Napoleon VI and his lovely wife Medusa (who was now beautiful again after having her head shaved of snakes).

Security personnel did not try to stop Napoleon VI and Medusa from entering the burnt Cathedral because how does one stop a Kraken and a famed former Gorgon from Greek mythology doing something?

As for Harvey, since he was invisible, they were unable to stop him from entering.

“I see both the Cross and the Pieta statue of the Virgin Mary holding the Crucified Jesus at the High Altar were saved,” Harvey noted.

“Yes, a Jesuit priest Father Caiaphas bar Yochai was quite ticked off they managed to survive,” Medusa noted, “he said as much in an interview with a French newspaper yesterday.”

Harvey nodded.

He was aware that Father Caiaphas was the one who had helped the basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone to escape the Set Enterprises secure barn in England and had then ridden the basilisk to start the fire at Notre Dame by breathing venomous fire.

When they had finished the tour, Napoleon VI and Medusa returned to campaigning for the European Parliament and Harvey had retreated to a Paris cafe called Quasimodo’s.

The cafe had a gypsy dancer called Esmeralda appropriately enough.

When she had finished dancing, she went up to the bar to talk to the 6 foot 8 invisible bunny rabbit.

“You can see me?” Harvey was astonished, “Have you been drinking Harvey Wallbangers?”.

“No, being a gypsy, I have psychic abilities so I can see you,” Esmeralda answered.

“A psychic lobster in London called Michelangelo can also see me,” Harvey nodded.

Esmeralda and the bunny rabbit got around to discussing the fire at Notre Dame.

Harvey Tallbanger happened to mention that there was an animated short film called I Pet Goat 2 made back in 2012 that seemed to prophetically show the spire of Notre Dame Cathedral collapsing like happened this year.

“And the name of this animated short had Pet Goat in the title?” Esmeralda queried.

Harvey affirmed that it did.

“You know the character of Esmeralda in The Hunchback of Notre Dame had a pet goat,” Esmeralda pointed out.

“That’s right, she did,” Harvey recalled.

“Djali was its name,” Esmeralda mentioned.

Harvey ate his jelly donut with a side of goat’s cheese.

Father Caiaphas bar Yochai who had been sitting at a table in the corner of Quasimodo’s and drinking Harvey Wallbangers by the dozen suddenly looked in the direction of the French Roma Gypsy girl and the Welsh pooka bunny rabbit.

“A bunny rabbit?” Father Caiaphas seethed, “I hate bunny rabbits.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 27th
2019.


The gypsy Esmeralda

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Renfield Discusses Day of Fires

April 20, 2019 at 8:29 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Spy Tales, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield R. Renfield MP was having a Saturday night dinner with his friends Amadeus Emanon and Angelique Dumont.

Renfield mentioned, “So, I just found out last night that there was a fire at the al-Aqsa mosque in Jerusalem at the exact same time as the fire at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris.”

“I didn’t know that,” Amadeus stopped in the middle of eating his salmon.

“It received almost no news coverage in the world on that day other than in the Middle East,” Renfield explained.

“What a strange coincidence that was,” Angelique reflected, “that two major centers of worship- Notre Dame in Paris and the al-Aqsa in Jerusalem would both have fires that same day.”

“Was Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s escaped basilisk responsible for the fire at the al-Aqsa mosque as well as that at Notre Dame?” Amadeus asked.

“Well, Dr. Rocher had implanted a GPS signal in the basilisk’s DNA so he’d know its location- technology which both the Chinese government and the U.S. government are currently fighting to develop so they can be the first to implement the Mark of the Beast system that no human being will be able to buy or sell without the Mark of the Beast in their DNA,” Renfield mentioned, “the GPS in Basilisk Wrathsbone’s DNA was picked up by sensors in the lobster claws of Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster. Apparently the basilisk was nowhere near the al-Aqsa mosque at the time the fire started like it was at the exact location of Notre Dame when that fire started.”

“So I wonder who started the fire at the al-Aqsa mosque?” Angelique pondered aloud.

. . .

The commander of the Vampiric Knights-Templar Sir Boyle of Olay was speaking to Allatallahbell the Vampiress Priestess of Baal.

“Our efforts to burn down the al-Aqsa mosque this past Monday were sadly put to nought,” Sir Boyle of Olay commented, “the fire was finally brought under control. So we will have to wait a wee bit longer for the Temple of Solomon to be rebuilt. Even though most of Israel’s leading kabbalistic rabbis are sick of waiting.”

“It will take a while longer then for the god Baal to get his statue back up on the Temple Mount like it was when Solomon succumbed to the foreign influences of some of his 700 wives and 300 concubines and started erecting statues of his wives’ and concubines’ deities in the Temple,” Allatallahbell looked unhappy.

“We should never have brought the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow along on our mission,” Sir Boyle of Olay sighed, “He went and lost his head again. And as a result picked up bottles of coconut milk instead of cannisters of gasoline down at the Old City market. So we didn’t have enough fuel to start a real raging inferno.”

. . .

Today’s date.

Holy Saturday.

The Nazi vampire Franz Kohler of the SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau lit a cigarette.

April 20th.

Der Fuhrer’s birthday.

It had been a Holy Saturday as well – April 20th- in the year 1889- when Der Fuhrer had been born.

Now exactly 130 years later- Der Fuhrer’s birthday – was a Holy Saturday again.

Fires at Notre Dame in Paris and the al-Aqsa mosque in Jerusalem earlier in the week- both on the same day of Holy Week.

This was surely a sign from the Cosmos that there was something providential about this particular Holy Saturday as well.

Kohler’s cigarette went out.

He lit it again as the voice of a wolf howled on one hill.

And the voice of a jackal howled on the other.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 20th
2019.


Allatallahbell the Vampiress Priestess of Baal:
Waiting in time for the rebuilt Temple of Solomon

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