Lepardia Marango, Dracul Van Helsing, King Abdullah II, Queen Rania and Pegasus

April 9, 2019 at 10:01 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )


South African Cultural Attache Lepardia Marango prior to a date with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing

Dracul Van Helsing had invited Lepardia Marango to attend a screening of the 1940 version of the film Waterloo Bridge that starred Vivien Leigh and Robert Taylor which was being held in a London repertory theatre.

The 1940 Waterloo Bridge movie alternated with the 1942 film Casablanca in being Dracul Van Helsing’s favourite motion picture of all time.

On the taxi ride over to the theatre, Lepardia and Dracul discussed the news story that was being kept quiet by the fake news media all over the world which was the winged horse Pegasus landing on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem last night.

“I take it this Pegasus was the genetic recreation of the original that Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher created a couple of years back?” Lepardia asked Dracul.

“That’s right,” Dracul nodded, “when this Pegasus was genetically re-created, Dr. Rocher had a tough time teaching him to fly. When he finally learned how to fly, he was late coming home at night. No one seemed to be able to control Pegasus until Queen Rania of Jordan came to visit the Set Enterprises lab. Now Pegasus lives in Amman Jordan at the palace of King Abdullah II and Queen Rania.”

“So it wouldn’t be far for him to fly from Amman to Jerusalem then?” Lepardia noted.

“No, it wouldn’t,” Dracul agreed, “and he’d be far safer than the Boeing 737 MAX 8.”

“Wasn’t King Abdullah II of Jordan recently awarded the Saint Francis of Assisi Lamp of Peace Award?” Lepardia inquired.

“He was,” Dracul replied, “at the same time cob webs and dust were growing on Jared Kushner’s Deal of The Century. The century will probably be over and all the participants dead from old age by the time Trump’s son-in-law puts his peace deal together.”

“And Trump will undoubtedly have uploaded his consciousness into a cyborg walnut by then so he can live forever,” Lepardia commented.

“Undoubtedly,” Dracul smiled.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 9th
2019.

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British Transhumanist- Aquarian Age Bonapartist Alliance

April 8, 2019 at 9:29 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, Spy Tales, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s British Transhumanist Party had just forged an alliance with the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party of the Kraken who called himself Napoleon VI.

Should Britain have to take part in the May 23rd to May 26th European Parliamentary elections because of a Brexit extension, the British Transhumanists and French Aquarian Age Bonapartists would run together on a joint ticket with Renfield, the Welsh vampiress Morgana, the Kraken Napoleon VI and his wife Medusa seeking elections to the European Parliament.

At first Renfield had been reluctant to join forces with the Kraken since the cyborg octopus belonged to the Church of Scientology (as a result of the Kraken attending a workshop with Tom Cruise and John Travolta a month ago).

However the Kraken had had lunch with German Chancellor Angela Merkel today where she showed the eight legged creature the 2017 turkey remake of The Mummy that starred Tom Cruise.

After the Egyptian mummy princess Ahmanet, Cruise and the producer of the film jointly laid an egg 20 minutes into the movie, this was too much for the Kraken who swore off both Scientology and non-chicken laid eggs when the film ended.

Merkel broke the good news to Renfield by phone.

The Kraken flew to London from Berlin where Renfield and the would-be Aquarian Age French Emperor signed a pact.

Meanwhile in Washington DC, Donald Trump had labelled Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps a terrorist organization.

The government in Tehran responded by labeling all U.S. Armed Forces in the Middle East a terrorist organization.

And the subject on Dr. Phil’s TV talk show today was childish behaviour shown by world leaders.

And on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem, the winged horse Pegasus had just landed on the mount the night before the Israeli national election.

And Russian President Vladimir Putin had brought in a spiritist medium to communicate with a Russian brown bear said to be possessed by the spirit of Grigori Rasputin as to why Pegasus would be landing on the Temple Mount the night before the Israeli election.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 8th
2019.

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Reblog of The Moriarty-Rocher Romance: Sherrielock Holmes Off To The Mermaid Art Exhibit

April 26, 2018 at 9:45 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, love, Mystery, painting, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Here’s a vampire novel chapter I wrote back in January 2017.

In it, the romance between Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s great great grandfather Prof. James Moriarty and Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s great great grandmother Isabelle Gabrielle Rocher is talked about:

Dracul Van Helsing

“You look wonderful, great-grandmother,” Dr. Cadbury Rocher kissed Sherrielock Holmes on the cheek.

“Thank you, Cadbury,” Sherrielock smiled at the compliment.

“Have you seen the photos of my genetically created winged horse Pegasus that I have put up on Facebook?” Dr. Cadbury Rocher proudly asked.

“How can I not help but notice when you keep posting pics every two minutes,” Sherrielock sighed, “I finally had to cut off your news feed.”

“You cut off my Facebook news feed?” Dr. Cadbury Rocher looked horrified, “Great-Grandma,how could you do that?”.

“Oh stop pouting, Cadbury,” Sherrielock commanded, “or I’ll have to give you a spanking.”

Dr. Cadbury Rocher stopped pouting.

The resident mad scientist for Set Enterprises did have quite the evil side. Of course that was to be expected working for the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set (whose claim to fame was bodily dismembering his brother Osiris) and for being a co-employee…

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Holy Saturday In Rome and The Blue Paschal Moon

March 31, 2018 at 10:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Holy Saturday In Rome and The Blue Paschal Moon

It was the evening of Holy Saturday in Rome- the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

As a great spotlight shone on the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica, speakers 🔊 in Saint Peter’s Square played the John Lennon song Imagine… “no Hell below us, above us only sky…”

And in the square, the Egyptian vampiress Isis wearing a red evening dress approached her husband, brother and lover Osiris who was standing next to the obelisk in Saint Peter’s Square.

He was dressed in white robes with gold sequins around his neck and on the white sleeves of his arms.

Isis smiled as she approached him, “The board of directors of Palmyra Analytica have informed me that Dr. Cadbury Rocher has successfully built the 3-D printer that will re-build the Temple of Solomon.”

“Excellent, now all we have to do is get the Israelis to agree to our terms,” Osiris beamed as bright as the Blue Paschal Moon in the sky.

The square speakers started playing the song Blue Moon as sang by Billie Holliday.

“What about the Palestinians?” the vampiress Isis asked.

“That’s going to be a little more difficult,” Osiris acknowledged.

The speakers suddenly interrupted with a news bulletin saying that the Ancient Greek winged horse Pegasus had landed on the Temple Mount.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday March 31st
2018.

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Sherrielock Holmes Off To The Mermaid Art Exhibit

January 19, 2017 at 1:36 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

“You look wonderful, great-grandmother,” Dr. Cadbury Rocher kissed Sherrielock Holmes on the cheek.

“Thank you, Cadbury,” Sherrielock smiled at the compliment.

“Have you seen the photos of my genetically created winged horse Pegasus that I have put up on Facebook?” Dr. Cadbury Rocher proudly asked.

“How can I not help but notice when you keep posting pics every two minutes,” Sherrielock sighed, “I finally had to cut off your news feed.”

“You cut off my Facebook news feed?” Dr. Cadbury Rocher looked horrified, “Great-Grandma,how could you do that?”.

“Oh stop pouting, Cadbury,” Sherrielock commanded, “or I’ll have to give you a spanking.”

Dr. Cadbury Rocher stopped pouting.

The resident mad scientist for Set Enterprises did have quite the evil side. Of course that was to be expected working for the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set (whose claim to fame was bodily dismembering his brother Osiris) and for being a co-employee of the notorious Renfield R. Renfield (whose claim to fame was being a lecherous horny horndog as well as being a notoriously bad artist, musician, songwriter, composer of operas and musicals and symphony orchestra conductor) as well as being a co-employee of Amadeus Emanon (whose claim to fame was driving several of London’s all you can eat buffet restaurants into bankruptcy).

Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s evil side could be traced back to his great great grandfather Professor James Moriarty- yes THAT Prof. James Moriarty who was Sherlock Holmes’ arch enemy.

Prof. Moriarty had had a brief fling with a beautiful young French woman Mademoiselle Isabelle Gabrielle Rocher. When Gabrielle told the leading mathematician and criminal mastermind that she was pregnant with his child, Prof. Moriarty announced that he had left one of his suitcases back in South America on a recent trip he took there.

The mathematician and criminal mastermind hurriedly booked passage on a ship bound for South America. For some reason though, he never did return to France leaving Mademoiselle Isabelle Gabrielle Rocher to raise her son Louis as a single mother. Instead Moriarty wound up back in England where he was to later incur the enmity of Sherlock Holmes (the better known twin brother of Sherrielock Holmes).

Thus Dr. Cadbury Rocher had both Holmes and Moriarty blood running through his veins.

“So how is Pegasus doing these days?” Sherrielock asked.

“Well he’s actually having trouble learning how to fly,” Dr. Rocher confessed, “so I’ve hired a sparrow to teach him how to fly.”

“Well I suppose that’s better than hiring an ostrich to teach him how to fly,” Sherrielock quipped.

As Sherrielock and Cadbury pulled up in their limousine to The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery, both happened to notice the Greek god Apollo (whom Dr. Cadbury Rocher had recently brought back from the dead) enter the gallery carrying his lyre.

“It looks like Apollo will be playing his lyre at the Mermaid Art Exhibit,” Cadbury stated.

“I wonder,” Sherrielock reflected, “if such divine music will bring the mermaids to life and cause them to emerge out from the canvas of their paintings.”

“Oh God, I certainly hope so,” a former DARPA employee from the southern United States remarked as he entered the gallery for the Charmaine Olivia Exhibit.

A barking otter followed the former DARPA employee into the gallery.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 9th
2017.

The lovely Isabelle Gabrielle Rocher abandoned by the evil Prof. James Moriarty for a lost piece of luggage in South America.

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Pegasus Unveiled

November 19, 2016 at 6:19 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Pegasus Unveiled

Set Enterprises’ resident mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher had invited former British Prime Minister David Cameron on a tour of Set Enterprises’ Laboratories.

The sanity challenged scientist had run into the former British PM in a tea shop.

Mr. Cameron was looking depressed as a result of the fact he was no longer Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and as a result of the fact that the British people had voted for BREXIT even though he had personally campaigned for the United Kingdom to remain within the European Union.

To cheer Mr. Cameron up, Dr. Rocher invited him on a tour of his laboratories.

Rocher introduced Cameron to Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster who was wearing sunglasses and lying on the sand at the bottom of the aquarium reading a water proof copy of the magazine The Hot Looking Babes In Donald Trump’s Life.

“I think Michelangelo has been spending too much time with Renfield,” Dr. Rocher thought to himself when he noticed his genetically created psychic lobster’s choice of reading material.

David Cameron suddenly noticed a measuring gauge that said 30 trillion below zero.

“This gauge here,” David Cameron pointed to it, “that says 30 trillion below zero. What is it measuring?”.

“The collective IQ of the editors, columnists and reporters at the Washington Post newspaper,” Dr. Rocher replied.

“Really?” David Cameron was shocked, “how long has the gauge been showing that?”.

“Well it had hit a trillion below zero by the end of U.S. Election Night November 8th 2016,” Dr. Rocher replied, “and it’s been going down hill ever since.”

“I see they’re now saying,” Cameron stated referring to the pundits at The Washington Post, “that Trump won’t be bringing real change to Washington DC.”

“Yes,” Dr. Cameron smiled and nodded, “the same geniuses who had been saying all year that Trump would never win the Presidency.”

“You think Trump will bring real change to Washington DC?” Cameron queried.

“Yes,” Dr. Rocher answered in the affirmative, “Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster has been showing me visions of what America and the world will look like under a Trump Presidency. There’s real change a-coming.”

Cracks started to emerge in Michelangelo’s aquarium as the Psychic Lobster got a vision of well known London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes showing up on the floor of Congress during Trump’s 1st State of the Union Address.

As Dr. Cadbury Rocher led David Cameron through the maze of laboratories at Set Enterprises, they passed through the office of Renfield R. Renfield the Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for Set Enterprises.

Renfield wasn’t in his office at the moment. He was coaching an attractive young female Drama student at the University of London. He was playing the part of President Bill Clinton to her Monica Lewinsky.

“It’s a shame we have to ruin such a beautiful blue dress,” Renfield told her, “but nevertheless the Stanislavski method calls for realism.”

As Renfield was busy producing an unpatented brand of mouthwash, Dr. Rocher used Renfield’s absence in the office to briefly watch BBC World News on Renfield’s high-definition television screen.

BBC Reporter: Hello, this is Nigel Roberts reporting for BBC News in New York City. At tonight’s impromptu anti-Trump rally in Central Park, something unusual is occurring. There are reports of a moustached man with a British accent appearing to ugly looking women at the rally and saying to them, “My God, but you’re ugly.” The ugly looking women are then beheaded by another man who is wearing Bermuda shorts here on this cold mid-November night in New York City and who is reported to have hairy goats’ legs as well as hooves for feet.

BBC News Anchorwoman Geeta Guru-Murthy (interjecting from BBC Central Studios in London):

Nigel, we’re getting reports that the entire New York City membership of the Facebook group Pantsuit Nation has been wiped out. Is that correct?

Nigel Roberts: That is correct, Geeta. The entire membership was decapitated just within the past hour by the said individual with Bermuda shorts and hairy goats’ legs. Wait a minute, I think I can see that machete wielding individual now. Yes… it’s… I do believe it’s Pan Goatee the famous serial killer whose specialty is killing ugly looking women in what he has called his “one man crusade to make the world a more beautiful place in which to live.”

Geeta Guru-Murthy: Nigel, can you get an interview with him?

Nigel Roberts: Pan Goatee is within range of the camera now. Pan, Pan, Pan, can you say a word to our audience here on BBC World News?

Pan Goatee (grinning): Sure, Nigel, I’ve always got plenty of time to talk to the media.

Nigel Roberts: Now, Pan, one mystery has been solved at this anti-Trump rally in Central Park tonight. You’re obviously the individual who’s been seen beheading ugly looking women at this rally…

Pan Goatee: That’s correct, Nigel. As Seinfeld’s Cosmo Kramer might well put it, “There aren’t as many Hillary Clinton supporters as there used to be.”

Nigel Roberts: And Pantsuit Nation is gone?

Pan Goatee (grinning): Pantsuit Nation is gone. Only headless corpses in pantsuits will be seen walking the fashion runways and catwalks in New York this autumn.

Nigel Roberts: But the one question I do have is, if you’re the one doing the beheadings, then who is the moustached gentleman with the British accent saying to these ugly women, “My God, but you’re ugly” just before you decapitate them?

Pan Goatee: Well, as you know, Nigel, I’ve been working on developing my psychic abilities. As you know, I can astral project and I can also create an astral laser beam machete with my mind. I’ve also been working on producing holographic images with my mind.

Nigel Roberts: Really?

Pan Goatee: Yes and Donald Trump’s lovely daughters, particularly the lovely Ivanka, have been helping me with my cultural development. And part of that cultural development has been watching the popular 1970s British comedy Fawlty Towers with John Cleese as Basil Fawlty.

Nigel Roberts: I loved that show.

Pan Goatee: Anyways you may recall that episode where John Cleese as Basil Fawlty is in an hospital room and he says to some nurse, “My God, but you’re ugly”.

Nigel Roberts: Oh yes, I remember that episode very well.

Pan Goatee: I laughed for hours when I heard that line. That’s what gave me the inspiration to produce with my mind a holographic image of John Cleese as Basil Fawlty saying to these ugly women, “My God, but you’re ugly” just before I behead them. It’s sort of a unique comedic dramatic way of adding insult to injury.

Nigel Roberts (smiling at the camera): Well mystery solved, Geeta.
It’s Pan Goatee beheading the ugly looking women at these anti-Trump rallies. And it’s a holographic image of John Cleese as Basil Fawlty saying to these ugly women, “My God, but you’re ugly” just before they’re beheaded.

Geeta Guru-Murthy: So your report there from the anti-Trump rally in Central Park, Nigel, is ugly women are dead and Pantsuit Nation is gone.

Nigel Roberts (grinning): That’s correct, Geeta.

Geeta Guru-Murthy (smiling at the camera) : Well with that in mind, it makes me glad that I’m beautiful and glad that I’m wearing a skirt this evening.

Former British Prime Minister David Cameron looked at the TV screen in total shock.

Said Cameron, “It’s like a combination of a slasher horror film and one of those futuristic science-fiction movies. A satyr serial killer beheading ugly women. And a holographic image of John Cleese as Basil Fawlty saying to them, “My God, but you’re ugly” just before they’re beheaded. It’s incredible.”

“It is and of course being female,” Dr. Rocher pointed out, “they’re probably more upset by the words thrown at them in the last moment of their mortal life than they are about being beheaded.”

“Undoubtedly,” David Cameron wholeheartedly agreed.

Dr. Rocher then led Cameron to his next laboratory where there was a screen in front of a large glass enclosure.

“And now, Mr. Cameron, I present to you my greatest creation, the creature I’ve spent the past dozen years trying to genetically re-create,” the scientist pushed a button.

“Good God,” David Cameron gasped, “It’s Pegasus the winged horse of Greek mythology.”

Meanwhile in his aquarium, Michelangelo was ripping off a piece of waterproof masking tape trying to repair the crack on his aquarium glass.

As he did so, the psychic lobster recalled a comment that an American pundit had made earlier this year, “There’s about as much chance of Donald Trump being elected President as there is of the winged horse Pegasus being re-created.”

Meanwhile Renfield R. Renfield was returning to his office after finally collecting and picking up his recently won baseball winnings from a British bookie. He was recalling a statement that another pundit had made at the start of the year, “There’s about much chance of Donald Trump winning the Presidency as there is of the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series after 108 years.”

It was as Dr. Cadbury Rocher had said (and as the folk songs of the 1960s had said 50 years previously), “The times, they are a-changing.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday November 17th
2016.

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Haiku About Pegasus and The Walrus’ Talk of Many Things

October 26, 2015 at 7:11 pm (Literature, Mythology, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , )

Haiku About Pegasus and The Walrus’ Talk of Many Things

Walrus time not come
Sea not hot nor pigs can fly
but a horse has wings

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