Xi Jinping Plans To Bang Italian Harlot In Shanghai While Continuing With His World Domination Plans

December 19, 2020 at 11:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Communist China’s paramount leader the evil megalomaniac Xi Jinping was talking to his Supernaturnal entity advisor the Black Dragon who had emerged from a black hole in the Andromeda Galaxy eons ago.

“Heilong,” Xi asked the Black Dragon, “What’s the name of that airheaded Italian harlot I always bang whenever I visit Shanghai?”.

“That would be Ambra Schilliro the Italian Commie journalist and Babylonianish harlot social butterfly who flutters around on her Social Cloud spreading Chinese Communist Party Public Relations (what British MP Renfield R. Renfield refers to as Neo-Maoist propaganda and bullshit) in the countries of China, Italy, the U.S. and Korea.”

Xi putting on a fertilizer cologne, “Yes, that’s the one. Book me an appointment with her for tonight.”

“But I understand 666 members of the Shanghai branch of the CCP had booked to bang her in one massive gang bang tonight,” Heilong pointed out.

“Well, put them on hold,” Xi foamed, “As always happens to me when I use my Huawei phone these days. I had to break down and start using Samsung.”

A PLA soldier approaches Xi, “Your Almightiness, we regret to report that our People’s Red Army just got our asses kicked by India’s Army on the India-China border again.”

“Well cover it up like we did before,” Xi barked.

Later in Shanghai, Xi paid a visit to the Italian harlot Ambra Schilliro.

He inserted his organ into Ambra’s mouth.

“Think of it as sucking on an egg roll,” Xi said neglecting to mention that egg rolls were a lot larger.

He then inserted it into the orifice between her front legs.

And then inserted it into the orifice between her back legs.

And then inserted it into her left nostril.

“Think of it as a Covid-19 test,” Xi had said.

He then inserted it into her right nostril.

“Think of it as a Covid-19 re-test,” Xi pontificated.

He then inserted it into her right ear.

“Think of it as a wax cleaning,” Xi smiled.

He then inserted it into her left ear as he remarked, “More wax cleaning.”

Heilong had put on dark sunglasses as he watched the spectacle.

“That Italian harlot,” Heilong noted, “seems to be getting as many orifices penetrated as Procopius the Byzantine historian (and secretary to the Byzantine general Belisarius) noted happened to Justinian’s wife the Empress Theodora in Procopius’ Secret History.”

The Byzantine vampiress Theodora (who had dropped into Shanghai to pick up an order of Shanghai Fried Rice) overheard Heilong’s remarks and said, “Everything Procopius wrote about me is a lie.”


Theodora: Everything Procopius wrote about her is a lie

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 19th
2020.

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Renfield On Pope Francis Refusing To Meet Mike Pompeo To Discuss China

October 1, 2020 at 10:10 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

“Currently it’s the anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans of Antifa and BLM who are vandalizing Catholic churches and desecrating Catholic statues and altars in America. If the Biden-Harris ticket wins in November, it will soon be the U.S. government doing these things.”
-Renfield R. Renfield

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was having another Skype discussion with his friend Amadeus Emanon.

Renfield was reading a quote from a recent New Yok Times article, “Amy Coney Barrett should not be appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court because her Catholic values conflict with intrinsic American values.”

“So,” Amadeus ate his fries and gravy, “The New York Times has at least one thing in common with the Ku Klux Klan. They’re both anti-Catholic.”

“Indeed,” Renfield nodded, “Of course the intrinsic American values to which the Communist New York Times are referring to aren’t the same values America had prior to the 1960s with its decade of revolutionary upheavals and rioting. The values the New York Times sees as “intrinsic American values” are the values of the old USSR and Maoist China. Marxists entering halls of academia and institutions of learning in positions of teaching authority en masse in the 1970s has produced generations of dumbed down citizens who drool at Marxist-Leninist ideas like Pavel’s dogs reacting to the sound of a bell. Of course the apotheosis of this are the brain-dead zombie “woke” youth who want to “cancel” anybody who disagrees with them as they walk down the street chanting their brainless mantras “No Peace Without Justice” leaving nothing but fire and destruction and many dead bodies in their wake.”

“Lenin must be pleased at the thought of America possibly turning Communist,” Amadeus mused.

“Yes, I imagine if you went down to the Vatican these days, you could probably ask Lenin’s ghost in person about that,” Renfield pointed out.

“Speaking of the Vatican,” Amadeus bit into a baloney sandwich, “I hear Pope Francis is refusing to meet U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo to discuss religious freedom in the People’s Republic of China.”

“Yes,” Renfield sipped a Tequila Sunrise, “Francis is apparently ticked off at the fact that Pompeo dared criticize him in an op-ed piece that Pompeo recently wrote in which he said that the Catholic Church is risking its “moral authority” by renewing the Vatican-China Agreement that was negotiated by the predatory homosexual Communist Theodore McCarrick when he was still a Cardinal in good standing. The agreement that sold out the underground Catholic Church in China and placed them squarely under the thumb of Beijing’s Communist government.”

“No wonder Francis refused to meet with him,” Amadeus ate a buttertart.

“Yes, the Vatican is claiming that the reason Francis isn’t meeting with Pompeo is because the Pope does not receive politicians during an election period,” Renfield noted, “Which of course is a total lie because back in 2016, Pope Francis received and met with Bernie Sanders when Sanders was still busy running in the primaries against mentally unhinged Hillary Clinton for the U.S. Democratic Party Presidential nomination that year. Of course Sanders and Pope Francis share the same far-Left socialist-Communist political ideology.”

“So Pope Francis shares the same “intrinsic American values” as The New York Times?” Amadeus poured red ketchup all over his omelette.

“That’s right,” Renfield agreed, “That’s why the Virgin Mary told the three shepherd children at Fatima in 1917 in the so-called Third Secret (whose text the Vatican has never released) that “Satan will infiltrate to the very top of the Catholic Church”. He’s certainly done that in Francis. That’s why the Devil’s leading disciples Pope Francis, The New York Times, CNN, The Washington Post and Xi Jinping’s Chinese Communist Party are all on the same page.”

Yesterday Mike Pompeo had given a speech in Rome in which he called on the Vatican to defend religious freedom in China.

Today Vatican Secretary of State Cardinal Pietro Parolin and Vatican Foreign Minister Archbishop Paul Gallagher read speeches (that interestingly enough had been ghost written for the two men by the ghost of Nazi Minister of Propoganda Joseph Goebbels) attacking Pompeo as the ghosts of Lenin, Stalin and Mao Tse-tung stood applauding in the background.

Meanwhile in Communist China, a priest in the underground Church in China was finally allowed to return home after a month of being tortured in custody.

He did not receive a personal phone call from Pope Francis unlike El Paso Bishop Mark Seitz did when the Texas bishop bowed the knee to the Marxist and spiritist necromancy practicing organization Black Lives Matter back in June of this year.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday October 1st
2020.

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Michelangelo’s Vision of No More Xi

May 3, 2020 at 9:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Satire, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Michelangelo’s Vision of No More Xi

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a bubble bath and playing with his rubber ducky when suddenly he picked up a news bulletin from the future on his psychic lobster antennae.

BBC News Announcer: What we know so far is that Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping was killed in an attack on Xi’s palace by an American plane.
This is probably the most dangerous international geopolitical tinderbox since the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962.
Our London reporter Ernstwhile Humphreys is reporting on the British public’s reaction to the possibility of a nuclear World War III.
Ernstwhile, can you hear me?

Ernstwhile: Yes, I can, Terence.
Stores all across the United Kingdom are reporting the biggest run on toilet paper since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic.

The camera breaks away as masked spectators in the background start singing, “Rule Britannia. Britannia rules the rolls.”

BBC News Announcer: Thank you, Ernstwhile.
We’ve just received word from our BBC Beijing correspondent Babel Ling Brooks as to what led to this major geopolitical incident.

Babel Ling Brooks (looking resplendent in her scarlet red evening dress): Thank you, Terence.
Surprisingly what hawks in the Chinese Communist Party are calling a U.S. directed airplane assassination on Xi had actually started out as a peaceful diplomatic overture from Washington DC to Beijing.
In a special White House ceremony, Donald Trump had just named actor Harrison Ford (of Han Solo and Indiana Jones fame) as U.S. Goodwill Ambassador to China and had asked the septuagenarian actor to fly to China in his own private plane (which Ford always pilots himself) to Beijing to deliver a personal message of peace and goodwill to Xi.
According to my sources in Beijing Air Traffic Control, Ford, while piloting his plane, overshot the Beijing airport by an unbelievably large number of kilometres and ended up crashing into Xi’s palace right into the paramount leader’s bedroom where Xi was apparently paramounting one of his many female concubines.
Xi was killed instantly- his head being severed by one of the plane’s rotating propeller blades and ending up on a silver platter below an Italian Renaissance artist’s painting of Salome Doing The Dance of The Seven Veils that Xi had apparently been given as a gift from Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman.
The concubine has fortunately survived unharmed and is currently entertaining bids from both CNN and Fox News as to which U.S network she’ll grant an exclusive interview with first.”

The vision ended with the concubine holding a Siamese cat being invited to the White House by Donald Trump.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 3rd 
2020.

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Churchill’s Ghost Comments On Commie Loving “Useful Idiot” Catholic Bishop

February 6, 2018 at 8:57 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Churchill’s Ghost Comments On Commie Loving “Useful Idiot” Catholic Bishop

Renfield R. Renfield was reading today’s newspaper headlines to the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill as they sat together in his parliamentary office enjoying glasses of brandy (one material and one spiritual).

“Here’s one,” Renfield hiccoughed, “Bishop Marcelo Sanchez Sorondo the chancellor of the Pontifical Academy of Social Sciences has praised the Communist Chinese 🇨🇳 state as “extraordinary”. He goes on…”

“Right now, those who are best implementing the social doctrine of the Church are the Communist Chinese government,” said Bishop Sorondo whose New Testament was covered in dust and cobwebs while his copy of Quotations From Chairman Mao looked to be recently read.

Going on with his lavish praise of the Chinese Communist government, Bishop Marcelo Sanchez Sorondo said, “You do not have shantytowns, you do not have drugs, young people do not take drugs.”

Wiping foam from his mouth, the bishop went on to say, “The economy does not dominate politics as happens in the United States.”

Bishop Sanchez Sorondo added that China 🇨🇳 was implementing Pope Francis’ encyclical on the environment Laudato Si better than any other country and praised it for defending the Paris Climate Accord.

“It would appear,” Churchill helped himself to a ghostly spectral watercress, cucumber and cream cheese sandwich, “that the men Pope Francis has surrounded himself with in the Vatican 🇻🇦 are either idiots or perverts if not both.”

“A most astute observation, sir,” Renfield toasted the late former Prime Minister with his glass of brandy.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 6th
2018.

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