One Hell of A Snowstorm From Hel The Norse Goddess

January 30, 2019 at 11:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, weather) (, , , , , , , , , , )


Norse Goddess Hel: Do come in out of the cold, Mr. Van Helsing, and come warm yourself inside my welcoming fireplace.

Much of the United States was suffering one Hell of a cold spell and one Hell of a snowstorm.

And it was being caused by Hel the goddess of the Norse frozen underworld.

She had brought one Hell of a polar vortex with her from her abyss in the frozen northern wastelands.

She was able to do so because Wotan/Odin the chief of the Norse Germanic pantheon of gods (known as the AEsir) and King of Asgard was currently in a Set Enterprises eye clinic in London under the care of Dr. Cadbury Rocher as a result of his one good eye being hit by an arrow fired from the Celtic stag god Cernunnos’ crossbow on a U.S. Republican Party Country Club deer hunting trip gone horribly awry and hideously astray.

Since Wotan/Odin wasn’t around to veto the idea, Hel decided to have some fun.

She was currently in a Chicago hotel enjoying both the cold and the snow storm from inside her warmly heated luxury hotel room.

The Norse trickster god Loki was in a Chicago park trying to re-enact a scene from the 1997 Julia Roberts movie My Best Friend’s Wedding and ended up getting his tongue frozen to the ice cold pussy of a frozen ice sculpture statue of the Greek goddess Aphrodite.

The Norse wolf Fenrir and the Baphomet (who was currently in Chicago on a cross-country speaking tour raising funds for the U.S. Democratic Party) laughed heartedly as a Chicago Fire Department welding unit was brought in to free Loki’s tongue from Aphrodite’s pussy.

Dracul Van Helsing was currently walking around Chicago caught in a vortex of time caught between a Chicago in a black and white Hollywood film movie set of the 1930s and the Chicago of the January 30th 2019 polar vortex snowstorm from Hell caused by Hel.

The vortex of time was brought about by the mad scientists at the CERN Large Hadron Collidor tunnel in Switzerland interfering with Dracul’s Houdini-Tesla prototype magic lanterns by which the Canadian vampire hunter was able to time travel.

Shiva had aided CERN scientists in doing this.

Shiva’s wife Kali on the other hand had reached out to help Dracul Van Helsing.

For some reason, Kali’s mention of Dracul Van Helsing on a previous occasion had caused Shiva to turn into a green-eyed monster.

The ghost of Orson Welles, looking very much like the ghost of Christmas Past in Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, appeared to Van Helsing.

“Persephone the Greek goddess of the underworld has sent me to help you,” Welles’ ghost explained, “Van Helsing, you seem to work your way into the most precarious situations. I really don’t understand it.”

Welles’ ghost led Van Helsing on to a Persian flying carpet where they flew through the air to the Mysterious Goddess Hotel in Chicago.

There the Norse goddess Hel invited Van Helsing into her room.

An invitation from the Norse goddess Hel to Dracul Van Helsing.

As Hel and Van Helsing made out and practiced tantric sex on a bear skin rug in front of the fireplace, Welles’ ghost complained about the fact that he was reduced to making porno films in the 21st Century.

Welles and Van Helsing left the room whereupon the door to the next room magically opened and the Norse goddess Freya the Queen of Asgard invited Van Helsing in:

Freya: Do come in and stay awhile, Mr. Van Helsing.

As Van Helsing and Freya engaged in a Kama Sutra tantric sex encounter,
Welles remarked over the Riesling wine and the delicious Norse cod that he was eating, “Well Van Helsing, there’s nothing like forging an alliance between Odin/Wotan and Shiva in one cosmic act of revenge.”

Next door, Morrigan the Celtic goddess of war invited Van Helsing in for a lesson as Welles watched.

Welles drowned his voyeurism in pints of Guinness and bottles of Irish whiskey.

Finally Zeus’ daughter Artemis the Greek goddess of the moon made the Call of The Wild from next door.

Artemis displays a full moon for Van Helsing on this evening.

“Zeus, Shiva and Odin/Wotan in a triple alliance,” Welles moaned over several bucketloads of the best French champagne as he watched the divinely cosmic sexual encounter.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 30th
2019.

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The Clock of Thoth: A Poem

January 14, 2019 at 11:53 pm (Art, Arts, Film, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic poem, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, love, Movies, Mythology, News, Philosophy, Poetry, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


Tefna listening to the sound of the Clock of Thoth tick.

The young woman called Tefna
was in her apartment bedroom
listening to the sound of
the Clock of Thoth tick

A clock designed by her father
A master clock maker
At the stroke and bong of each hour
Two figures would come out
The first was Thoth
The ibis headed ancient Egyptian god
Of the moon, magic and writing
And of course the Egyptian god who
was the recorder of time

The other figure was an Egyptian Pharaoh
who bore the likeness of the young
Actor/Director Orson Welles
The year was 1945
The date was August 6th
Feast of the Transfiguration
On the Church calendar
When Christ showed his Divine Deity
To his Apostles Peter, James and John

Tefna awaited news on what would become of her fiance
a sailor in the U.S. Navy still involved in the War In The Pacific
against Japan
Thor’s lightning bolt insigna warriors in Germany
had surrendered months earlier
but no word yet on those who fought for the ancient gods of Japan

A young American scientist J. Robert Oppenheimer
was seeking to become the Hindu god Shiva
The destroyer and transformer of worlds
But Tefna was unaware of him and his plans
And what they could possibly mean for her
As she listened to the ticking of the Clock of Thoth
On the wall
Tick-tock! Tick-tock!
As she always did at this same time every night
Before she went to bed

In the apartment next door
Hera the divine goddess queen of the Olympians
awaited the report of an immortal private eye
Carson Cody Albion

The Greek goddess Hera- that’s Juno to the ancient Romans!

She had suspected her husband Zeus
was getting it on with the modern goddesses
of the silver screen in Hollywood
The fact that she had heard him talking on the phone
seeking to borrow swan and bull costumes
from studio costume departments
only added to her suspicions.

In the apartment on the other side of Tefna
sat Hestia the Greek goddess of hearth and home

Hestia suspected that hearth and home would come to be neglected in America following the war
As both men and women followed Mammon
the ancient Babylonian god of banking and commerce
Who had helped America defeat Thor’s modern worshippers

All these things were unfolding in the building around Tefna
As she listened to the sound of the Clock of Thoth
tick on the wall

Tick-tock! Tick-tock! went the Clock of Thoth on the wall
As Tefna listened.

The Greek goddess Athena was there in black and white

on the silver screen
in the old repertory movie theatre
in West Hollywood
on January 14th
when Dracul Van Helsing
entered the theatre
and entered the screen
and then entered Athena
to sample hidden portals of wisdom

In the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London
Dashwood Forrest looked at the painting
of Demeter
The Greek goddess of fields, crops and agriculture
looking down on a field of 19th Century French peasant women
Bringing in the sheaves for harvest

Looking at the painting
Dashwood Forrest was shocked to see and hear
Demeter speak to the French women,
What sort of powerful magician could seduce my Persephone
away from her husband

As Athena found tantric sex to be a tantalizing experience
On the silver screen in a West Hollywood repertory theatre
actress Akira Lane was showing a robotics maker
fresh from a technology show in Las Vegas
what wonders old technology could do
when blended with ancient magic
As an Irish Jewish science-fiction writer
George Finneganburg
hastily took notes

Meanwhile in a London casino
Former British Labour MP
The Welsh werewolf Magog Rhys Petley
(whose seat was now held by
British Transhumanist MP
Welsh vampiress Morgana)
walked in on an unexpected orgy
taking place on a casino table

The casino’s kinky quartet looked at him, smiled
and advised him not to miss Lord L’s
Super Wolf Blood Moon Party
in Washington DC
next Sunday night

with the brunette in short skirt and black silk fishnet pantyhose
Sitting atop the casino table
telling him not to miss it for the world

Renfield R. Renfield MP
had just finished writing his speech to move
a motion of non-confidence in Theresa May’s government
following the Brexit vote in the Westminster Parliament tomorrow
When suddenly he walked out into his Parliamentary office
waiting room
Where the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh

was waiting for him

Causing Renfield to burst the zipper on his trousers
When he saw her
He would have to buy himself a new suit
to deliver the speech in Parliament tomorrow

It was a moonlit night in Port Elizabeth South Africa
As the great South African artist SAREJESS
sat in the middle of the street with his easel and canvas
and paintbrush and paints
(praying that no motorists would be driving down the street this late at night to abruptly and undoubtedly painfully put an end to his lunar nocturnal painting expedition)
and painted what he saw

He would paint this quiet tranquil scene
before the ghost of a brontosaurus showed up
and walked across the street
And before the ghost ship of THE ghost ship
The Flying Dutchman
appeared on the surface of the water
on the horizon in the distance
As he sat there painting the canvas,
he wondered whether his wife and family were right
to think he was crazy

And there at one moment in time
somewhere in time
sat Tefna
always anxiously sitting on the bed
always anxiously awaiting for the phone to ring
to bring her news of her love
Same place
Same time
Night after night

but no sound of a phone ringing
Only the sound of the Clock of Thoth ticking
Tick-tock! Tick-tock!

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 14th
2019.

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Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes: A Gothic Mythological Private Eye Poem

January 12, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, Gothic poem, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mythology, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

All of the faces and all of the places
Wonderin’ where they all disappeared…
It’s those changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Nothing remains quite the same
With all of our running and all of our cunning
If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane

Those changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes…
Through all of the islands and all of the highlands
If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.

-Jimmy Buffett, August 1977.


The water nymph Ondine in a pre-Raphaelite painting
that Carson Cody Albion Private Eye gazed at on a wall
An immortal made immortal in stroke of brush and mixture on palette

And now he Carson Cody Albion who had been made immortal by Atargatis

Atargatis

would he too someday be immortalized in stroke of brush and mixture of palette
An immortal beyond time and space
captured on canvas in frame occupying a place on a wall
captured in paint by a particular person at a particular time and place
was this why infinity turned in on itself and formed a pair of loops
intersecting at a particular point in time and space?

And what of his painting?
Albion wondered to himself
Could his own sins and transgressions be transferred to his painted visage
As happened to Oscar Wilde’s hero of one Dorian Gray
in the Victorian dandy’s tale of gothic philosophical fiction?

In the same place California but at a different time over 75 years later
Dracul Van Helsing stumbled upon the aftermath of a child sacrifice to Baphomet
presided over by the state’s governor in an act of officially consecrating the state to the demons Baal and Baphomet
As moonbeams danced and sunflowers turned brown in the darkness of night and the crescent of a moon and the bloodbath following a baby’s screams at the hands of a World War II jerry’s insigniaed knife
Baphometa the daughter of Baphomet emerged

clutching her shoulder as if clutching a bloody wound
that was the sole remaining wound of the last vestige of whatever innocence she might have possessed
prior to participating in her first child sacrifice

Oh even daughters of demons stand wounded
when suddenly they come face to face with the dark side of their nature
when given their pedigree, surely the dark side was theirs by nature
but alas even for daughters of demons, darkness embraced and innocence lost
was not and should not be the lot of any of creation
since that dreaded day when the Light-Bearer ascended and became the Bearer of Darkness
An ascent that descended so rapidly
A light that burned so impenetrably it became the blackest of all darkness

Dracul rushed to embrace the distraught Baphometa
Leaving one to wonder could kindness and consolation drive the darkest darkness away?

Back 75 years, the real Ondine stood in front of Carson Cody Albion

Her hair colour had changed since the Pre-Raphaelite artist
had painted her picture in England in the 19th Century
Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
What a change that can bring
Switch the time, switch the place
Switch the hair

By a stream of water, the hero in the Pre-Raphaelite painting
had lost the water nymph Ondine
By a fountain of water, Carson Cody Albion had found her

Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Even H2O wasn’t the same everywhere
as ice and snow fell into the ocean
Below the cascading castles of clouds

Against a snowy backdrop, the Byzantine vampiress Theodora
stood with her two mastiffs in the Carpathian Mountains of Romania

Facing Interpol agent Peter Whitstable
Whitstable had heard the urban myths and legends and tales of mysterious black eyed children
and now he stood face to face with black eyed dogs
And they stood staring at him
If eyes be the mirror of the soul, then souls these two black eyed mastiffs did not have
But fortunately for Whitstable, he was not their target
The Russian Orthodox monk behind him was
Sent by Patriarch Kirill of Moscow
As an emissary to the Romanian Orthodox Church
to advise them to break communion with Constantinople
But such was not Theodora’s plan
And foolish mortals should not interfere with the best laid plans of vampiresses
Particularly one with black eyed mastiffs at her beck and call

Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
From the mountain heights of Romania to the desert sands of Arabia
The Countess Draculina daughter of Count Dracula

strolling by the stream of the oasis palace of
Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman
And she saw the Prince walk by
Book in hand
But the book he carried was not the Quran
But the Zohar
Most pre-eminent text in the Kabbalah

Tantric sex with Baphometa was called for
As Marvin Gaye sang Sexual Healing in the background
Dracul Van Helsing healed her
And Persephone the Queen of the Underworld waited for Dracul at sunset
at an Episcopal monastery in Santa Barbara

From the depths of Hades her husband’s realm
To the heights of Santa Barbara
Definitely changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
As Dracul and the Queen of the Underworld had tantric sex
And the Canadian vampire hunter made a cuckold of Zeus’ infernal brother
A pomegranate was crushed beneath the feet of the pair
And Persephone laughed, “Oh, Dracul,
if we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.”

-A vampire novel chapter
and gothic mythological
private eye poem
written by Christopher
Saturday January 12th
2019.

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At The End of The Day: A Carson Cody Albion Private Eye Poem

January 7, 2019 at 11:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, love, Mystery, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

At the end of the day, walking in an empty house
where gods and goddesses play
for this is Hollywood’s way
I’m not the one making the rules
I just follow them like most fools

No mortal may apply here
For the Silver Screen
is gateway to Eden’s lie
Thou shall not surely die
for you live forever on celluloid
where your soul goes is anyone’s guess
Just smile at the camera at your screen test

As Carson Cody Albion Private Eye walked the house,
these words echoed through his mind.


Persephone Queen of The Underworld waits at the bar with drink

A pomegranate liqueur perhaps, Mr.Albion?
She spoke with the purr of a cat and the splash of a fish.

Albion continued on.

Atargatis stood in the Asian room.

So mortal like.
So unmermaid like.
And surely no deadly siren call?

“Who should I rub for luck?” Atargatis sang, “The Buddha? Or you, Mr. Albion?”.

In the fireside room, Semiramis waited on leopardskin rug
while embers of long dead languages flickered off the log
that was a sideways leaning towering inferno of babel

“Come sit by the fire, Mr. Albion,” Semiramis purred, “and choose the cat you want to play with.”

Albion continued walking.

This time to the bedroom.

Where once again Persephone Queen of The Underworld was waiting for him

“Come in, Mr. Albion. Come in and explore my depths.”

-A private eye poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 7th
2019.

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3 Hours of Darkness Over Arctic Russian Siberia

July 25, 2018 at 10:39 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

3 Hours of Darkness Over Arctic Russian Siberia

“Well, I’ve arrived back from Oxford,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield announced to his friend Amadeus Emanon as he walked through the front door of the colossal West London mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set where the Transhumanist parliamentarian lived.

He had a huge smile on his face as he walked through the door.

A week of blow jobs delivered by a group of sexy beautiful young female coeds at Oxford will do that to a guy.

“Did you hear about the 3 hours of total darkness over Russian Arctic Siberia in Siberia’s far north in the Russian republic of Yakutia (also called Sakha) last Friday July 20th?” Amadeus asked between mouthfuls of hot dogs 🌭.

“I heard about that while watching the BBC News App on my smart phone between mouthfuls of Desiderata performing oral healing and Lana performing oral healing,” Renfield replied with a smile 😀 brighter than the moon.

“What do you think caused that?” Amadeus asked as he spilled mustard, relish and ketchup all over his white dress shirt.

“Well, what I was told last Tuesday July 17th at Oxford in their safety deposit box room in their Archives might explain it,” Renfield blew his nose into his handkerchief emblazoned with the Whore of Babylon on it.

“And what were you told in that room?” Amadeus asked as he proceeded to wolf down 20 more hot dogs 🌭 despite the abstract painting the hot dog ingredients were now painting 🎨 on his white dress shirt.

“I’m sorry, I’m under oath not to reveal it,” Renfield replied.

“Shit, what a bummer!” Amadeus remarked as Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had another vision of the Donald Trump-Vladimir Putin meeting as he meditated while performing yoga 🧘‍♀️ in his aquarium at the Set Enterprises lab 🔬.

. . .

As Pan Goatee was in the City of Calgary assassinating more of Justin Trudeau’s supporters in the city on orders of DARPA’s acting head Dr. Faustus Imhotep as well as someone at the highest levels of the U.S. government, he was in a McDonald’s restaurant to try their new Australian 🇦🇺 Egg and Cheese Burger as part of their summer International Cuisine Menu.

It was then that he saw two ugly women sitting with some loser of a guy in a booth at the back of the restaurant.

One was a fat ugly blimp so Pan Goatee beheaded her first.

He then beheaded the thin ugly woman who was obviously visiting the city from out of town.

As for the loser male who was dating both women in the greatest horror film ménage a trois of all time, Pan Goatee pulled out a gun and blew his head off.

Pan returned to the front counter and cash register up front as a Rihanna lookalike wearing a short skirt walked through the front door and stood in line.

“Tie me kangaroo down, sport,” Pan Goatee happily sang as he picked up his Australian Egg and Cheese burger 🍔.

. . .

Amadeus Emanon noticed the combination French impressionistic and abstract Picasso cubist masterpiece he had on his previously white dress shirt.

Just then his smart phone went off.

Amadeus answered.

It was his girlfriend Angelique Dumont the New Orleans vampiress and songstress who worked in West London’s theatre district.

She had phoned to say that she wouldn’t be able to make their date tonight.

Amadeus felt relief as this shirt he was wearing was the only clean white dress shirt he had for their fancy restaurant dinner date that they had planned this evening.

Amadeus said, “Yes, definitely some other time.”

“So, why can’t Angelique make your date tonight?” Renfield asked as he returned from the kitchen where he had made himself a tuna fish sandwich.

“She ran into a woman the two of us met last Friday in Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s office at Set Enterprises,” Amadeus explained, “The woman’s name is Panty Goatee and was recently genetically cloned in a DARPA lab. Apparently she was being forced to marry the Baphomet at a wedding on top of the Temple Mount in Jerusalem last Wednesday when she was rescued by a Black Jaguar. The Black Jaguar teleported both himself and Panty to Set Enterprises so that Dr. Cadbury Rocher could medically treat Miss Goatee for severe shock.
Anyways Panty Goatee underwent another shock last night when she had her first adult orgasm after she had encountered a blonde Adonis while sitting on the sidewalk steps of an entrance to a park. So Angelique is staying with her tonight.”

“Panty, what a most intriguing name,” Renfield wiped off his laptop screen with some tissues and a spray of Lemon 🍋 Pledge.

. . .

Persephone the Greek Goddess of the Underworld waits in a London cemetery as the midnight 🕛 hour approaches.

She’s awaiting the arrival of a blonde Adonis.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 25th
2018.

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The Cat Who Ate Wolves For Breakfast (Plus Lunch and Supper)

April 20, 2017 at 5:03 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Russian Spetsnaz special forces who had parachuted into Kiev last Thursday under the command of the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith were werewolves.

They were a special type of werewolf.

Each soldier was a bodark werewolf.

A bodark is a person who wants to become a werewolf in Russia (as opposed to a a wawkalak who was just turned into a werewolf through the evil actions of the Devil).

To become a bodark, a person would run into a forest and stab a copper knife into a tree (while such an action might be pleasing to manufacturers of copper knives as well as those with huge investments in the copper industry, the undertaking doesn’t go over so well with Greenpeace and tree huggers everywhere).

While still holding on to the knife in the innocently stabbed tree, the would-be bodark is required to repeat this chant:

“On the sea, on the ocean, on the island, on Bujan,
On the empty pasture gleams the moon, on an ashstock lying
In a green wood, in a gloomy vale.
Toward the stock wandereth a shaggy wolf.
Horned cattle seeking for his sharp white fangs;
But the wolf enters not the forest,
But the wolf dives not into the shadowy vale,
Moon, moon, gold-horned moon,
Cheek the flight of bullets, blunt the hunters’ knives,
Break the shepherds’ cudgels,
Cast wild fear upon all cattle,
On men, on all creeping things,
That they may not catch the grey wolf,
That they may not rend his warm skin
My word is binding, more binding than sleep,
More binding than the promise of a hero!”

Once the tree has been stabbed and the incantation chanted (with Taylor Swift singing “Boys only want love if it’s torture” in the background), the person runs off into a forest and changes into a werewolf as he does so.

Once these Russian Spetsnaz special forces soldiers had become full-fledged grey wolf bodark werewolves, Vladimir Putin put these men under the command of the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith in a secret treaty he signed with her shortly after his 2014 annexation of Crimea.

Lilith’s Bodark Grey Wolf Squadron did not turn into werewolves during a full moon.

Instead they turned into werewolves after listening to an old Gramophone recording of Josef Stalin singing the Soviet National Anthem in concert with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (under a never revealed protocol of the Tehran Conference that was held from November 28th to December 1st 1943, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir were secretly flown to Moscow on December 26th 1943 (thereby missing out on Utah Boxing Day sales) to make the recording in musical choral accompaniment with Josef Stalin.

As Lilith played the recording turning the Russian Spetsnaz special forces commandos into grey wolf bodark werewolves, another grey wolf was walking the streets of Kiev.

The grey wolf was none other than the ancient Germanic god Wotan’s mortal son Adolf Hitler.

He had been granted permission to leave the Underworld by Hades and Persephone after Thor paid a visit on Odin/Wotan’s behalf requesting that they do so.

The grey wolf formerly known as Adolf stopped in its tracks when it heard the voice of Josef Stalin singing the Soviet National Anthem.

The grey wolf formerly known as Adolf visualized the Hungarian actor Bela Lugosi as Count Dracula saying, “Listen to him, the constipated dictator of the night. What a racket he makes.”

When the Gramophone finished playing and the commandos became grey wolf bodark werewolves, they were immediately attacked and eaten by a giant black cat.

The name of the giant black cat was Amorous Laetitia (whose name had inspired the title of a recent papal document although the first name was spelled differently in the Apostolic Exhortation).

Amorous Laetitia was the name of the personal pet cat and familiar of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft.

Hecate had recently been beheaded by Pan Goatee’s astrally projected laser machete while she was in her crone form.

The head had been taken to a New York City cryogenics lab but the lab had been broken into by Loki and Fenrir and Fenrir had eaten the head.

Since then, Amorous Laetitia had torn apart every wolf she had come across in hopes she’d find her mistress’ head.

When she didn’t find it, she just ate the rest of the disemboweled wolf,

After seeing the black cat Amorous Laetitia eat the Spetsnaz bodarks, the grey wolf formerly known as Adolf ran down an alley and entered a building for safety.

The building turned out to be Brodsky Synagogue which was Kiev’s largest.

The grey wolf formerly known as Adolf could not help but think that the gods of the universe were playing some sort of cosmic joke on him.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 20th
2017.

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Nero and Assad

April 10, 2017 at 3:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The man drinking in the Rome taverna always told all who cared to listen that he once worked in the Vatican Antiquities Museum.

“I didn’t used to drink in those days,” he said to the disbelief of all, “until the night when I saw a ghostly violin… a violin that was only spectral in appearance… not a material violin… but an astrally projected violin up and leave the museum. Then I was let go for seeing it leave.”

“When was that?” asked the occasional bored taverna patron who pressed for more information.

“July 17th 2000,” the man replied.

. . .

Syrian President Bashar al-Assad (who had been in office since July 17th 2000) was talking to the spiritist medium Dulcinea Lucia who had flown in from London for the reading.

The gypsy Dulcinea Lucia (who was the goddaughter of Persephone the Greek goddess of the underworld) had special access to the spirits of Hades.

And Bashar al-Assad was anxious to talk to the spirit of the late Syrian Greek king Antiochus IV of the Seleucid dynasty (the man known to the world as Antiochus Epiphanes).

. . .

The Mossad agent they called the Controller of the Golem was in his office reading a document called the Otzar Midrashim that told the story of a Talmudic sage who received an angelic message regarding the coming of the Messiah.

He read,

“This will be for you a sign: when you see that the Nero of the East has fallen in Damascus, the kingdom of the east will fall, and then the salvation of Israel will grow, and the Messiah of the House of David will arrive and [the Jews] will go up to Jerusalem.” (Otzar Midrashim)

The Controller of the Golem wondered, is it possible that the current secularist tyrant Bashar al-Assad who rules Syria, was he the Nero of the East referred to in the Otzar Midrashim prophecy?

Nero and Assad

He looked up and saw the Egyptian vampiress Isis standing in front of him.

“Oh ye of little faith,” Isis spoke to him rebukingly, “do you not know that it is my husband Osiris who is your Messiah? Reach out to us for help. For you know that it is your old enemy Lilith who is trying to destroy you, the vampiress who poisoned your drink with Polonium-210 in London, the vampiress who has always worked behind the scenes for your people’s destruction. Only I and Osiris have the power to stop her. Even now, Lilith is in Damascus seeking your nation’s destruction. She is currently speaking with both Assad and the spirit of the Syrian Greek king Antiochus IV Epiphanes who sought your destruction centuries ago.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 10th
2017.

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The Death of The March Hare: A Poem

March 31, 2017 at 6:09 pm (Fantasy, Literature, Mystery/horror, Mythology, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Persephone

On her throne, Persephone the Queen of the Underworld did decree
that the March Hare had brought joy to far too many
and it was time that this valiant hare should die
and should be now before March time did fly

So on this last day of March 2017
as the Hare drank tea with a Heartly Queen
the Messenger of Death did drop Polonium-210
into the hare’s teacup at the stroke of Big Ben

The hare raised the tea to his lips
as Mad Hatter recalled his latest trips
up through and outside the Rabbit hole
when the poor hare turned as black as coal

“Remember to pay the phone bill” were the Hare’s last words before he died
as into the frying pan went the Heartly queen’s kipper being fried
The March Hare fell over quite dead
and the Heartly queen turned bright red
“I did not say off with his head”.

The March Hare was buried with a carrot in his mouth
payment that Ferryman Charon told to take a hike south
and so the March Hare’s pour soul is now trapped on the River Styx
as Queen Persephone laughs and plays pick up sticks.

-A poem written by Christopher
Friday March 31st 2017.

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Ghosts Galore

July 26, 2013 at 7:32 pm (The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The entertainer in the pub sang, “I’m Henry VIII I am, I am, I just got married to the widow next door, she’s been married 7 times before and everyone was a Henry – Henr-ee  so that makes me Henry the Eighth I am…”

Outside the pub waiting for him was the ghost of Henry VIII and the ghost of his executioner.

“I didn’t find your song very humourous,” Henry harrumphed, “off with his head.”

The executioner swung his ghostly axe and the axe passed harmlessly through the entertainer’s head.

“I see you don’t know how to manifest spiritual objects into a material reality,”  Pan Goatee laughed as he astral projected by on his way to a replication of the Bohemian Grove ceremony on the banks of the Thames.

“Me?  I thought it was you who was going to bring the statue of the giant owl,”  former British Prime Minister Tony Blair said  in exasperation to the current Archbishop of Canterbury.

                     .         .        .

The ghost of Josef Stalin stood in shock on Brazil’s Copacabana Beach at the massive crowd of young people cheering Pope Francis.

A booming voice seemed to echo out of the heavens,  “Well Joe you stupid ass,  I didn’t think I’d ever see you again after you kicked the bucket.  Well now you know how many soldiers the Pope has.”

Stalin’s ghost looked up and saw a huge cloud in the shape of Sir Winston Churchill’s head smoking a giant cigar.

                        .          .          .

Adolf Hitler’s ghost sat in Rush Limbaugh’s huge dressing room and waited for the enormously stout talk show host to return.

The Fuhrer’s spirit tried to help himself to a piece of chicken from one of the 6 dozen buckets of KFC that sat on the dressing room table awaiting Mr. Limbaugh’s return.

But since he didn’t know how to project material objects into a spiritual reality, he couldn’t.

When Rush returned, the Fuhrer greeted him enthusiastically.

Speaking in a thick German accent and spraying his own moustache with his enthusiasm, the Fuhrer said, “I really love your show and agree with everything you say.  The non-whites in this country are getting far too uppity in my opinion.”

                 .         .         .

The Greek vampire Hades used the remote to turn off his satellite TV and then spoke to one of his aides, “You know the reception is so bad underground.  We really should think about switching over to Cable.”

“I’ll look into it, sir,”  his aide replied.

“But still despite the blurry picture, it still gives me some idea of the chaos that exists above,” Hades helped himself to some pomegranate seeds, “we must see what we can do about getting Cerberus back to his guard dog position again so we can stop all these damned spirits from crossing back over the River Styx to the world above.”

“I’ll see what I can do, sir,” his aide remarked.

“It’s all so frustrating,”   Hades hit his forehead, “where’s Persephone when you really need her?  All this masturbation starts to get on one’s nerves after a while.”

“You’re forgetting that it’s summer on Mount Olympus, sir,” his aide reminded him.

“Why doesn’t anyone remember to turn over the page on this damned calendar?” Hades snapped as he turned over the calendar several pages.

                 .           .            .

On one side of the River Styx,  Chris de Burgh sang, “Don’t pay the ferryman until he gets you to the other side…”

On Mount Olympus, Vincent Price spoke as he watched Michael Jackson dance on the moon,  

“Darkness falls across the land,
The midnight hour is close at hand…”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Friday July 26th 2013

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