The Taco Cat

September 15, 2022 at 10:59 pm (Humour, Poetry) (, , , )

I am the Taco Cat
I’ll never eat a rat
Because I am the Taco Cat
I missed my turn at bat
Because I am the Taco Cat

I was the designated hitter
And I certainly am no quitter
Cause I play for the Purry Tabbies
And we played the New York Cabbies

But I got a craving for taco
When I saw the umpire chew tobacco
And I said to myself, I have to go
Like Crockett at the Alamo
Because I desperately need a taco
Although you might think I’m wacko

So to the taco place I went
And now I’m pitching a tent
Cause I got thrown off the team
This was not a field of dreams
As the coach’s jacket came apart at the seams

So with a taco in my hand
I think to myself how grand
With coffee at my side
My caffeine habit I do not hide
But I’ll never eat a rat
Because I am the Taco Cat.

-A poem written by Christopher
Thursday September 15th
2022.

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Chinese Moon Goddess Chang’e and Mooncake Mid-Autumn Festival

September 10, 2022 at 10:58 pm (Folklore, Mythology, Poetry, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The Chinese moon goddess Chang’e and her companion the Jade Rabbit

The legend of the ancient Chinese moon goddess Chang’e
She drank an immortality potion
And on the moon she now lives
With the Jade Rabbit
Her closest companion
Brewing immortality potions

Some say she stole the immortality potion
From her lover Hou Yi
The Chinese lord god of archery
And as Chang’e floated up and up
He shot arrows at her
Some say it was for her to grab ahold of
So she could stop right at the moon
Instead of sailing far far away
To the farthest parts of the Cosmos

Others say he shot arrows at her
Out of anger
But still Hou Yi
Yearned for her
So he leaves mooncakes out for her
Through the years.

From the moon Chang’e mourns,
She glows
Turning the moon’s phases
Into faces
Brightly in the sky

And from this
Was the tradition of leaving mooncakes
Out on Mid-Autumn Festival
(What is called Harvest Moon
in North America)
Born.

Happy Mooncake Mid-Autumn Festival. 👩🏻‍🎨🌕🌝🙂

-A poem written by Christopher
Saturday September 10th 2022
The Night of The Harvest Moon
Mooncake Mid-Autumn Festival
Inspired by the legend
of the Chinese moon goddess
Chang’e
The Jade Rabbit
and
Hou Yi
The Chinese lord god
of Archery.

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The Pirate Queen

August 24, 2022 at 10:03 pm (History, Poetry) (, )

A sight not to be forgotten once seen
This Seven Seas beauty who was the Pirate Queen
She went on many a raid and plunder
From Caribbean to Africa and a land Down Under
From the cold waves of Scotland’s North Sea
To the holy shores of Galilee
The Pirate Queen struck lust then terror in men’s hearts
Her name is still spoken on hushed lips in tropical parts

-A poem written by Chistopher
Wednesday August 24th 2022.

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Trails West

August 19, 2022 at 9:56 pm (Poetry, western) (, , )

She came on a locomotive train from the East
Not knowing if the Wild West would be famine or feast
She was looking for a man to marry
And eastern men were so boring and bland
She wondered about those who for law and order did stand

But there were plenty of villains in the Wild West
Gunslingers who put others to the test
And marshalls and sheriffs could be quite corrupt
She started to wonder if she left the East too abrupt

Until she met Mister William Main
A man who scouted the western plain
He was a man of integrity and honour
Did not eat the guided like expedition Donner

So Ingrid and William were wed
Wild and passionate was their marriage bed
Ingrid felt glad that she had come west
For the man she landed was one of the best

-A Wild West narrative poem
Written by Christopher
Friday August 19th
2022.

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The Sundance Saloon

August 8, 2022 at 9:26 pm (Poetry, western) ()

The Sundance Saloon was a wild place
Owned by singer Miss Melanie Grace
All the cowboys came from miles around
Just to listen to that Parisienne Can-can sound

Jacques Offenbach was quite the hit
As into sexy tights saloon girls did fit
The Galop infernal was its official name
And to its tune, many cowboys came

Who knew that Orpheus In The Underworld would produce such a thrill
As cowboys found themselves in sweat despite desert evening chill
The Can-Can girls put on quite the show
That even horses didn’t have to be told to “Whoah” !.

The dancers’ legs kicked up quite the storm
In a place where the beer was cold but the seats were warm
Many a cowpoke hoped to dally with Sally
Until they were thrown out by the bouncer O’ Malley

Melanie Grace was quite the entertainment queen
In a town where undertakers kept the streets so clean
Yes it was not usually long before the showdown
But The Sundance Saloon was better than a hoedown

-A western poem written by Christopher
Monday August 8th 2022.

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Let There Be Light

August 7, 2022 at 7:41 pm (Poetry) ()

Single match
Two cigarettes
One light

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August Evening

August 1, 2022 at 7:49 pm (Poetry) ()

Another time
Another place
You looked resplendent on that August night
With you in my arms
We danced to a slow melody
It was an unforgettable August night
And I’ve never seen the likes of it again

-A poem written by Christopher
Monday August 1st 2022

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The Duck Called Samuel Puddlington Raises A Glass

July 30, 2022 at 8:06 pm (Humour, News, Poetry) (, , , , , )

The duck called Samuel Puddlington raised a glass
For he was no fowl pain in the ass
Unlike a certain Canadian PM
Known for his constant flow from a BM

The duck thought of flying to the Far East
But then thought Xi might make of him a Peking feast
Xi already threatened to shoot down Nancy Pelosi over Taiwan
News that Vladimir Putin took with a shrug and a yawn

Samuel Puddlington said “A toast! A toast!”
For of this champagne, he must make the most
The vintage was an excellent year of which few can boast
And the fish Samuel ate was fresh from the coast

Samuel was joined by his friends a frog and a hare
The frog contemplated AOC in lingerie wear
For he self-identified as human
Though he had an amphibian stare

-A Samuel Puddlington poem
written by Christopher
Saturday July 30th
2022.

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Wild West Haiku Inspired By Marty Robbins

July 15, 2022 at 10:05 pm (Folklore, Poetry, western) (, , , )

Out in West Texas
Town of El Paso there was
A Mexican girl

Rose’s Cantina
Was the place she’d be found
Her skirt polished the ground

As she whirled and twirled
Like the storm of a desert
Where n’eer bush was found

Felina was name
Of this pretty young maiden
Sent men’s hearts a-flayin’

Many fell in love with
This Mexican maiden
That condom sales were arazin’

Sheriff Joe Biden
Entered the cantina’s doors
Hunter’s came on the floors

Lecherous sheriff
Sniffed the young maiden’s hair
As off went his underwear

He was soon filled with lead
And fell to cantina floor
Looking awful dead

Such was fair Felina
But her spell did not affect
Gay pope from Argentina

-A series of haikus
written in 30 degrees Celsius heat
By Christopher
Which possibly has the same effects
As using hallucinogenic drugs
Friday July 15th 2022.

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Shinzo Abe Assassinated

July 8, 2022 at 7:54 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Obituaries, Poetry) (, , , )

Japan patriot
Gunned down while giving speech
Land of Rising Sun weeps

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