In Ecclesiastical Inspector Clouseaunesque Fashion, Francis Inadvertently Blurts He’s An Antipope On Spanish Radio

September 25, 2021 at 10:57 pm (Commentary, Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Religion, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

“In the beginning Adolf Hitler used public health measures to implement a series of policies to obstensibly fight tuberculosis- a respiratory disease- that paved the way for the corraling of German citizens into concentration camps.”
-Dr. Jordan Peterson

“How were the German people brought to the point where they’d go along with Hitler’s Final Solution?”
-Puzzled History Professors Reflecting In The Decade of the 1970s

“These unvaccinated people should be put into camps, not be allowed to hold a job or to buy or sell anything.”
-Typical face mask wearing bozo (doubly vaccinated but will go for his triple vaccination and quadruple vaccination and so on and so forth when he’s told to) in a man in the street interview when asked by a reporter.

Arnold Schwarzenegger with Raquel Welch in the days before he became a Neo-Fascist (as his father was an original Fascist serving in the Austrian Nazi Party SA Brownshirts)

Meanwhile over in Germany, Chancellor Angela Merkel was finally retiring this weekend after 16 years in power and after having spent the last two years of her Chancellorship turning into a female Adolf Hitler with the Germany of 2021 now a Fourth Reich.

Ms. Merkel had taken the contemporary “woke” trend of transgenderism to a whole new level and a whole new meaning in the world of geopolitics.

Meanwhile over in the nutty, flaky and fruity state of California (current home of Arnold Schwarzenegger and his long suffering pet goat), Rep. Nancy Pelosi was going ballistic at a press conference.

Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone of San Francisco had recently called the airheaded satanic witch Pelosi a proponent of “child sacrifice”.

Looking directly at the TV cameras and flashing her arms and fingers in a double V For Victory style and shaking the jowls on her face in Richard M. Nixonesque fashion, Nancy said, “My fellow Americans, I want to make this perfectly clear. I am not a proponent of child sacrfice.”

Behind Pelosi the demonic gods Baal and Moloch (to whom child sacrifice was an essential part of their worship) applauded vigourously.

At that moment the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse were seen riding over the Vatican.

And speaking of the Vatican, earlier this month in a radio interview with Spanish radio station COPE, Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) made a very underreported comment:

“I did not invent anything, my action since the beginning of my pontificate consists in achieving what we the cardinals had agreed to in the pre-conclave meetings for the future pope.”

He added, “My reforms were what the cardinals wanted from March 2013.”

These words from the horse’s mouth (or in this case the horse’s ass) prove that Jorge Mario Bergoglio is in fact an Antipope.

Since the rules governing conclaves are laid out in Section 81 of Universi Dominici Gregis:

81. The Cardinal Electors shall further abstain from any form of pact, agreement, promise or other commitment of any kind which could oblige them to give or to deny their vote to a person or persons. If this were in fact done, even under oath, I (John Paul II) decree that such a commitment shall be null and void and that no one shall be bound to observe it, and I hereby impose the sentence of excommunication latae sententiae upon those who violate this prohibition.”

Pope Benedict XVI never abrogated Pope John Paul II’s rules for future papal conclaves and therefore John Paul II’s rules still stand for the conclave of March 2013.

Francis and the so-called St. Gallen Mafia who campaigned for his election have been latae sententiae excommunicated by the late Pope St. John Paul II.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 25th
2021.

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On The 700th Anniversary of Dante’s Death, A Most Diabolical Plot: Soros-Gates-Fauci Axis Powers Genetically Clone Uglos

September 14, 2021 at 10:45 pm (Aesthetics, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Literature, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Today September 14th 2021 is the 700th Anniversary of the death of Italian poet Dante Alighieri who wrote the Divine Comedy trilogy consisting of Inferno, Purgatorio and Paradisio.

On September 14th 1321, Odin’s raven Huginn remarked to Odin’s raven Muninn, “Oh weep for Dante, for he is dead.”

Muninn immediately started crying and blew his nose on Pope John XXII’s papal robes.

“Don’t weep for Dante,” the demon Baphomet remarked, “Weep for Pan for he is dead.”

The Pan to whom Baphomet was referring was the Greek satyr god of nature, the wild, shepherds and flocks, mountains and rustic music.

That Pan had in fact died long ago.

Today September 14th 2021, the demon Baphomet, along with his fellow demon Baal, the fallen Archangel Mephistopheles and the ghosts of King Herod, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin and Mao Tse-tung had all endorsed the Neo-Stalinist tyrant Gavin Newsom for Governor of California and urged Californians not to recall him.

“As far as I know, I’m not related to that Pan,” Pan Goatee mentioned in answer to a question from his friend the philosopher frog emperor Marcus Amphibius.

Marcus had stoically wanted to know whether Pan Goatee was related to the Greek satyr god Pan who was the Greek god of nature, the Pan who had died long ago and sailors had heard the cry during the reign of the Roman Emperor Tiberius, “The great god Pan is dead.”

As Pan Goatee entered a drug store, Marcus Amphibius stopped to order some French flies from a French Onion Soup and Quebecois Poutine dealer.

When Marcus entered the store, he noticed his satyr friend beheading a fat ugly blimp (who was a store clerk) and cutting her up into 999 trillion pieces.

“I thought I had beheaded this fat ugly blimp a couple of weeks ago and how did she come back alive?” Goatee wanted to know, “Necromancers today must be as perverted and degenerate and as devoid of good taste as everybody else these days.”

“It might not be necromancers,” Marcus Amphibius licked an ice cream cone, “Some of my frog friends around the world tell me that the evil undynamic but diabolical trio of George Soros, Bill Gates and Dr. Anthony Fauci are genetically cloning uglos. So if you kill one, they’ve got another 665 in test tubes somewhere.”

“Oh deepest pits of perdition and damnation, thy names art Soros, Gates and Fauci,” Pan Goatee spoke eloquently.

Meanwhile in Slovakia, some renegade Slovak priests were trying to exorcise the demonically possessed Pope Francis whose eyes were once again turning demonically red, his head was rotating 360 degrees and he was vomiting forth copies of Dante’s Divine Inferno.

“We are legion. We hate Dante. We do not weep for Dante for he is dead. We hate Dante. He believed in the existence of Hell. There is no Hell,” the voices within Francis started screaming, “Ah, the flames. The flames.”

One of the priests who was slightly deaf asked his fellow priest (a dwarf) who was only a little less deaf, “What did he say?”.

The dwarf answered, “I think he said, Ah, the plane. The plane.”

“These demons must be fans of the original 1970s TV show Fantasy Island,” the elder priest remarked.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 14th
2021.

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Dr. Cadbury Rocher Gives Lecture On What Constitutes A Vaccine Plus Sen. Mitch McConnell Slain By Celtic Stag God Cernunnos

September 2, 2021 at 10:39 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher was giving a Zoom video lecture on what constitutes a vaccine.

Here was Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s lecture,

“For something to be considered a vaccine in the traditional understanding of that word (as it existed in 2019 and before), several criteria must be met:

•The injection must provide the recipient antibody immunity to a pathogen (virus or bacterium)
•The antibodies produced post-injection must be shown to confer protection from that virus or bacterium
•The injection must demonstrate it reduces hospitalizations or deaths from the pathogen
•The injection must demonstrate it reduces severe symptoms of the pathogen
•The injection must demonstrate it stops the recipients from carrying the pathogen
•The injection must show it stops transmission of the pathogen from the injection recipient to others

How many of these criteria do the so-called Covid-19 “vaccines” throughout the world meet?

The answer is NONE WHATSOEVER.

Although you wouldn’t know that from listening to the idiotic pronouncements of the WHO, Dr. Anthony Fauci, the Centre For Disease Control and the brainless mainstream media.

Thus this injection for Covid-19 is NOT a vaccine.

At best it can be described as a gene serum.

Never before in history has a gene serum been used on such a massive scale to fight a virus or bacterium let alone a pandemic.

A Calgary-based geopolitical analyst who once served as the Director of Research for the Alberta Cult Awareness Network said that one of the marks of a cult (be it religious or political) or of a totalitarian society is to change the language.

Change the meaning of words from what they have previously meant in the past.

The Nazi Third Reich did it.

Stalin’s USSR did it.

Mao Tse-tung’s Communist China did it.

The dystopian despots in George Orwell’s 1984 and Animal Farm did it.

Today many scientists, doctors, health “experts”, bureaucrats, politicians and mainstream media journalists are doing it.

They all are jumping to the tune of Mephistopheles, Mammon, Moloch, Baal, Baphomet and their Luciferic/Satanic overlord.

As the dictatorial and despotic Master of the Universe egg named Humpty Dumpty put it in Lewis Carroll’s 1871 book Through The Looking-Glass,

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less.”

The video lecture ended with a news clip of Dr. Anthony Fauci getting egg on his face as he opened up a dictionary to rip out pages.

. . .

“I am the Vicar of Whoever, Whatever, Whenever, Whereever,” the demon posssesed Pope Francis told Pachamama the Inca earth mother goddess (who was a fiery red dragon goddess in her form under the earth) as his eyes turned fiery red, his head spun around 360 degrees and he vomited forth egg shells, egg yolk and ripped up pages from a dictionary.

“What have you got planned this month?” Asked Pachamama.

“Vaccinations and population reduction are coming,” Francis grinned, “This I know for Beelzebub’s Bill Gates tells me so.”

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a vision.

The vision was of the obnoxious Kentucky Republican Sen. Mitch McConnell going deer hunting in the hills of Kentucky.

As Sen. McConnell walked around with a small gun, Cernunnos the Celtic stag god appeared with a crossbow and arrow.

Cernunnos took aim with his crossbow and fired an arrow at the blowhard Senator.

“Oh, Christ,” McConnell said before falling over dead, “That’s what I get for hunting deer.”

“I’m actually Cernunnos,” the stag god answered, “Christ was the One who died on the Cross and rose again from the dead.”

“It’s also what you get for not even at least attempting to push for the impeachment of Joe Biden,” The demon Asmodeus remarked as he walked by, “At least that’s what my old enemy the Archangel Raphael told me recently.”

Asmodeus and his little buddy Nimrod the little green frog were walking towards a nearby Kentucky town to attend a bluegrass music festival.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday September 2d
2021.

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The Vaccinazi and Neo-Bolshevik Communist Pact of 2021

August 30, 2021 at 10:58 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was on a secret mission.

He had been hired by renegades against the Deep State in the U.S. government to investigate an alleged plot that started 31 years ago in 1990 when George Soros and Bill Gates had sought to create an Uglo-Race of women by genetically manipulating women in the City of Calgary to look quite repulsively ugly.

Soros and Gates and their geneticists had succeeded beyond their wildest dreams.

They were hoping then to release this Uglo-Race of women upon the world in an effort to reduce the human population since no one would want to make out with such uglos.

Unbeknownst to Soros and Gates however, then Soviet KGB officer Vladimir Putin had, at the same time, designed a plot to create a Non-Master Race of Male Morons who would help bring down the Western world thus allowing Russia to take control.

Putin, after extracting DNA from some Australian who called himself Uncle Ernie, began his genetic manipulation experiments to create a Non-Master Race of Male Morons in Calgary in that same year of 1990.

The result was that the Non-Master Race of Male Morons (created by Putin) made out with the Uglo-Race of Repulsively Ugly Women (created by Soros and Gates) producing more stupid and uglier offspring than ever.

That’s why large groups of mask wearing (but unfortunately no full paper bag over head wearing) uglos and imbeciles cheered on Neo-Bolshevik Communist demagogue Dr. Joe Vipond as he spoke at various Anti-Freedom rallies in downtown Calgary over the summer.

That’s why so many brainless Calgary businesspeople and other bozos were in favour of creating a vaccine passport in the city.

Neo-Bolshevik Communist demagogue Dr. Joe Vipond had invited some of his fellow physicians who were also Neo-Bolshevik Communists to speak to the media today to push for a vaccine passport in the Canadian province of Alberta.

The Neo-Norman Bethune style physicians spoke in a Zoom video conferencing call to members of the brainless mainstream media with Alberta’s leading Neo-Bolshevik Communist demagogue Dr. Joe Vipond naturally occupying the top upper left hand corner of the screen.

Two Neo-Bolshevik Communist Calgary city councillors (both of whom were running for Mayor in this coming October’s municipal election) Councillor Jan Damery and Councillor Jyoti Gondek were both calling for vaccine passports in the City of Calgary.

The forces of Antichrist seemed to be reigning supreme in the city.

It was against this background that Pan Goatee had encountered another Uglo who had pulled up at an air pump at a gas station to pump air into her head (thus showing she was both an Uglo and an airhead).

The woman was a thin ugly stoat.

Pan Goatee had divided Calgary’s uglo female population into 3 categories of uglos: the thin ugly stoat (those women who are thin and ugly), the medium sized ugly gargoyle (those women who are medium sized and ugly) and the fat ugly blimp (those women who are fat and ugly).

As the thin ugly stoat began pumping up her head with the air pump, Goatee beheaded the thin uglo airhead with his astral laser machete.

The thin ugly stoat’s ugly airhead floated up into the sky after being separated from its body where it was promptly shot down by one of Joe Biden’s drones (which, as it turned out, was a long way from Afghanistan).

Goatee then cut up the ugly pumped up airhead and body into 999 trillion pieces.

Krampus the demon goat then carried the pieces down to Tartarus.

. . .

Pope Francis was having a conversation with the French Ambassador to the Vatican.

“We are legion,” said Francis as his eyes turned fiery red, his head spun around 360 degrees and he vomited forth ripped up copies of the Hail Mary prayer and the Saint Michael Prayer, “We have instructed our servant in Chicago Blaise Cardinal Cupich to give Communion to Methodist non-Catholic Neo-Bolshevik Communist lesbian blowhard Mayors such as Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot. We have also instructed him to bring forth an edict banning the public recitation of the Hail Mary and the Saint Michael Prayer at the end of Mass in the Chicago Archdiocese. Those prayers were interfering with the establishment of the New World Order in that city.”

“What does that have to do with France?” The French Ambassador asked.

“Pazuzu got my day calendar wrong,” Bergoglio looked at his day calendar, “That’s what happens when you’re legion.”


Will Pan Goatee someday visit the Vatican?

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 30th
2021.

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Another August Evening and Pan Goatee Beheads More Uglos

August 25, 2021 at 10:32 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , )

Genetically created satyr serial kiler Pan Goatee was recently proclaimed a god by the League For The Beautification of Mother Earth.

His enthronement ceremony was held this past Sunday August 22nd at a replica of the Third Temple of Diana of The Ephesians located at Miniaturk Park in Istanbul, Turkey.

Pan Goatee being enthroned as a god by the League For The Beautification of Mother Earth.
The event held in the replica Third Temple of Diana of the Ephesians was sponsored by the Quasar Astral Laser Machete Manufacturing Company and Krampus’ Extreme Weight Loss Clinics.

Pan had been flown to Istanbul and back on Yaldabaoth The Irish Leprechaun’s pet pterodactyl Simon Majestic.

Today Pan Goatee had gone down to the City of Calgary Planning and Engineering Department to behead all the brainless city planners and engineers who had ripped up all the sidewalks in Pan Goatee’s section of town.

Calgary’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist Mayor Naheed Nenshi put out a call to hire a whole bunch of new engineers and city planners as their current batch were now all dead.

The last whining and snivelling brainless city planner to be beheaded by Pan Goatee had told the satyr prior to beheading, “It wasn’t our fault. Shaw Cable had asked us to rip up the sidewalks and sides of the roads so they could put in new fibre optic cables to be part of the Mark of The Beast system that is currently being rolled out through the introduction of vaccine passports.”

Pan Goatee went down to the offices of Shaw Cable in Calgary and beheaded all their executives.

A call was put out for job interviews to fill vacancies in Executive positions at Shaw Cable since their current batch of executives were now all dead.

Tonight as Pan Goatee went for a walk in his neighbourhood, he encountered an ugly looking female cyclist.

“My God but you’re ugly,” Goatee commented in John Cleese Basil Fawlty style fashion as he beheaded her.

He then went to the Dollarama store.

There was nothing really good on sale for a dollar tonight so he left.

As he was exiting, his eyes were visually assaulted by a fat ugly blimp with pink and purple hair.

“What makes you think you fat ugly blimps are any better looking by dyeing your hair pink and purple?” Goatee pulled out his astral laser machete and beheaded the repulsively ugly creature, “It doesn’t work. All you’re doing is making the hair dye manufacturers richer before you die.”

Krampus the Demon Goat emerged from a nearby pit (where a sidewalk used to be) and carried off the dismembered remains of both the fat ugly blimp with pink and purple hair as well as the ugly female cyclist.

. . .

The Israeli Ambassador to The Vatican was meeting with the demonically possessed Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) to express the concern of Israel’s leading chief rabbis over a recent papal address in which Francis had attacked the Law of Moses (including and especially the Ten Commandments).

As Francis’ eyes glowed demonically red and his head spun around in 360 degree fashion and he vomited forth ripped pages of the first 5 books of the Bible, the pontiff growled and hissed, “We are legion. I was recently joined by Communist cardinals and archbishops from the Americas in saying that taking the vaccine is an act of love. So take the vaccine, dammit.”

“But almost all of us in Israel did take the vaccine,” the Ambassador pointed out, “And now 85% of the Covid cases in Israel are among the vaccinated.”

“Well Hitler would probably love that,” the Pontiff hissed before breaking into a rendition of,

“The babe in his cradle is closing his eyes,
The stag in the forest runs free
But gather together to greet the storm,
Tomorrow belongs to me….”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 25th
2021.

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Pan Goatee, The Demon Possessed Pope and Krampus The Demon Goat of Bavaria and Austro-Hungary

August 20, 2021 at 9:59 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Pan Goatee: He gets by with a little help from his friends.

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was trying to manoevre the streets and sidewalks of Calgary which seem to be totally ripped up this summer and turned into huge pits designed for pedestrians to fall into.

In addition to the sidewalks being ripped up with huge gaping pits around for pedestrians to fall into, the bloody assholes from the City of Calgary kept on moving the bus stops.

You generally had to walk anywhere from 6 to 8 blocks to find a bus stop.

Most fell into the pits where sidewalks used to be and were never heard or seen from again.

And tragedy of tragedies, ironically enough, the only pedestrians who didn’t seem to fall into the pits were the city’s quite repulsive and hideously ugly fat ugly blimps.

They used the power of the dark magic witchcraft of Hecate (in her crone form which was her ugliest form) to avoid the pits the City of Calgary construction (more appropriately named deconstruction) crews had dug.

Pat Goatee used his high IQ and powerful intellect to manoevre around these pits.

Fat ugly blimps used the most diabolical of dark magic witchcraft to avoid the pits where sidewalks used to be.

Goatee was trying to locate a bus stop when a fat ugly blimp tried to pass him.

“All these bloody construction crews must have opened up the gates of Hell in digging these pits allowing these fat ugly blimps to come up from the netherworld from Hecate’s Elephantine Sized Human Chamber of Horrors,” Goatee commented as he beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Krampus the demon goat of Bavaria and Austria-Hungary emerged from one of the pits and carried the fat ugly blimp’s remains back down to Hell.

Goatee eventually found a bus stop.

A bus finally arrived at the stop about 20 minutes later.

8 blocks later, the bus stopped at another stop.

A fat ugly blimp got on the bus at the bus stop.

“How do you fat ugly blimps manage to avoid falling into those pits where sidewalks used to be?” Goatee remarked as he beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces, “It’s an even bigger mystery than who built the pyramids, who built Stonehenge and how do they get the Caramilk inside the Caramilk bar? Although you fat ugly blimps have probably eaten enough Caramilk bars in your life to be able to figure out that mystery.”

Krampus the demon goat of Bavaria and Austro-Hungary got on the bus where he packed up and carried the remains of the just beheaded and dismembered fat ugly blimp into the nearest pit (where a sidewalk used to be) and carried the fat ugly blimp down to Hell.

Goatee made a mental note to himself to go down to the City of Calgary Planning and Engineering Department next week and behead and dismember all of the assholes who work there.

Goatee went home and watched his favourite soap opera The Young and The Restless.

Goatee had come to the conclusion that the character of Billy Abbott was a jackass and he’d behead and dismember the fellow if he ever met him.

After watching the news which, like most mainstream news, was full of Neo-Bolshevik Communist Covid-1984 propaganda, Goatee left to go eat at a nearby Vietnamese restaurant.

The restaurant was of course full of Vietnamese people (which was a sign that excellent real authentic Vietnamese food was cooked there).

There was only one other white person in the restaurant besides Pan Goatee and with Pan Goatee’s typical bad luck, that one white person happened to be a fat ugly blimp.

Goatee immediately beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

“I wish someone,” Goatee remarked, “would invent a nuclear bomb that killed fat ugly blimps and left other people intact. It would be a good idea to detonate it over the entire City of Calgary. My astral laser machete can only do so much.”

Krampus the demon goat of Bavaria and Austro-Hungary entered the restaurant and after placing a take-out order for Beef Spring Rolls, packed up the remains of the latest beheaded and dismembered fat ugly blimp and carried her into the nearby closest pit (where a sidewalk used to be) and transported the Hecate and Oprah worshipping fat ugly blimp down to Hell.

He later returned to pick up his Beef Spring Rolls.

. . .

The U.S. Ambassador To The Vatican was having a rare Friday evening meetng with Pope Francis.

The Ambassador was bringing a message from the senile old fool Baphomet, Baal, Moloch and Mephistopheles worshipping “Catholic” President Joe Biden on how to proceed with their latest plans for a Neo-Bolshevik Communist One World Government.

“What do you think of this Pan Goatee character?” The Ambassador asked Francis as the story on the radio in the papal study was about Pan Goatee’s latest slayings, “Do you think he’s demonically possessed?”.

Being the liberal modernist “Catholic” that he was, he didn’t really believe in demonic possession or even in the Supernatural for that matter but somehow his Darwinian/Teilhardian evolutionary philosophy really couldn’t explain someone like Pan Goatee.

“We are Legion,” said Francis as his eyes turned blazing fiery red and his head started spinning around and he started vomiting out copies of Pope Benedict XVI’s 2007 Motu Proprio Summorum Pontificum from his mouth.

As Francis kept repeating over and over, “We are Legion” and gave every sign of being demonically possessed himself, the U.S. Ambassador to the Vatican decided that now might be the time to leave.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 20th
2021.

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Renfield’s Escapades On August 6th 2021

August 6, 2021 at 10:19 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield began his day by publicly calling for the assassinations of Maryland Republican Gov. Larry Hogan, United Airlines CEO Scott Kirby and CNN CEO Jeff Zucker.

Shortly after making the announcement, the Roman Catholic bishops of Colorado issued a statement saying that “Vaccination is not morally obligatory and so must be voluntary.”

Amadeus Emanon who was listening to the BBC World News with his girlfriend Angelique Dumont in her flat, when the two stories were mentioned one after the other, told her, “A lot of people don’t know this but Renfield was actually born in Manitou Springs, Colorado. Like Winston Churchill, he had an American mother and a British father save unlike Churchill, he was born in America and not Britain. No doubt the Catholic Bishops of Colorado don’t want Renfield returning to Colorado anytime soon.”

In the Vatican Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) threw a major spaz attack and temper tantrum when he heard about the Colorado Bishops’ statement.

Said he to his fruity aide-de-camp in a paraphrase of T.S. Eliot’s King Henry II of England in the play Murder In The Cathedral, “Who will rid me of this troublesome MP?”.

The fruity aide-de-camp stood like a tea pot as he held his wrist limply and answered in a voice much like that of writer Truman Capote, “Well I hope you don’t mind, Eminence, but it can’t be me. I always find my hair gets messed up whenever I cross the English Channel whether by air or by sea.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 6th
2021.

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Will Dracula Be The Next Pope?

July 27, 2021 at 10:12 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Samhain Cardinal Salaman was sitting in his office at the Vatican.

Although Francis required all Vatican employees and visitors to be be vaccinated with the Covid non-vaccine (none of the so-called vaccines for Covid were technically vaccines but rather genetic serums but most of the public was too dumb and gullible to know that. Since Big Pharma, Big Government, Big Business and the mainstream media called it a vaccine, it was obviously a vaccine to them), since most of those working at the Vatican were paying more attention to their gay sex hook-up Grindr apps on their phone rather than who was vaccinated, nobody bothered to note that Samhain Cardinal Salaman had never been vaccinated.

Salaman was informed that he had a visitor.

Sergius Materiy the Russian Orthodox Archbishop of Astana, Kazakhstan.

Salaman invited the Archbishop into his office.

“What can I do for you, your Eminence?” Salaman asked the Archbishop.

“I’m here to discuss something your Eminence,” The Archbishop answered, “Since you work in the Vatican, you are probably more aware than I am about the rumours swirling around that Francis is on the verge of kicking the bucket. Hence his reasoning and his rush to proclaim the motu proprio Traditionis custodes into law and restrict the celebration of the Tridentine Mass.”

“Yes, I’ve heard those rumours,” Cardinal Salaman nodded, “I’ve been told that the only one who hates the Latin Tridentine Mass more than Francis is Lucifer himself.”

“His recent operation wasn’t as successful as he and his doctors had hoped?” Archbishop Materiy asked.

“I’ve been told (unofficially of course) that his main trouble is his reaction to the Covid non-vaccine that he received earlier this year,” Salaman replied.

“Anyways, the reason I’m here is…” the Astana Archbishop paused, “Well you no doubt heard that a few years ago an expedition was sent to Castle Dracula in Transylvania in order to remove the wooden stake from Prince Vlad III Dracula’s heart and bring him back from the dead. The purpose being to have Vlad III Dracula fight the ISIS Islamic State in Syria and also to stop Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan from bringing back the Ottoman Empire with himself as Sultan.”

“Yes, I’ve heard that was the purpose in bringing Prince Vlad III Dracula back from the dead,” The Cardinal nodded.

“Anyways I’m going to give you this document,” Materiy handed him a piece of paper, “It describes a plan for a post-Francis world. A world where Dracula is the next Pope.”

“Dracula as the next Pope?” Salaman was astounded, “But Dracula currently isn’t even a Cardinal. How will he get to be Pope?”.

“Read on, MacDuff,” The Archbishop paraphrased Shakespeare as he pointed towards the document.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday July 27th
2021.

Countess Draculina daughter of Count Dracula ponders the question, “Will my father Count Dracula be the next Pope?”.

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Pan Goatee Beheads Erroneous Notion of White Supremacy While Exorcist Recalls Demonically Possessed Nun

July 26, 2021 at 10:08 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was once again in the neighbourhood dollar store.

And there in the line-up was another repulsively ugly looking white woman.

There seemed to be a surplus of repulsively ugly looking white women wandering around the dollar store this past week.

What was up with that?

The Calgary Stampede was over.

Ugly looking white women should be back in the corral or the closet where they belong.

It was probably the influence of all these annoying pansies and fruits who go around celebrating Pride Week then Pride Month then Pride Year and now Pride Century, Pan Goatee reasoned.

Soon it will be Pride Millenium.

Instead of a 1000 Year Reich, it will be a 1000 Year Rainbow.

One guarded by Ernst Rohm and not Heimdall.

This ugly looking white woman had blue hair.

Pan Goatee blamed the preponderance of ugly white women in the city, in Alberta and in Canada as a whole on the influence of that odious western world political disease known as Critical Gender Theory radical Marxist feminism.

The abhorrent ideology turned any female who heavily imbibed its contents into a creature so repulsively ugly it caused even the Devil himself to vomit all over the place.

“My God but you’re ugly,” Pan Goatee quoted the John Cleese character of Basil Fawlty as he beheaded the ugly looking white women with blue hair, “You and others like you certainly rip a big hole into that erroneous theory of white supremacy. Any race that produces the likes of you certainly has nothing whatsoever to feel superior about. Hitler must have been insane.”

Goatee went on about Hitler’s insanity as he sliced the ugly white woman with blue hair into 999 trillion pieces, “Some individuals seem to be prone to all sorts of neuroses and psychoses. And I guess Hitler was obviously one of them.”

. . .

As most of the priests in Pope Francis’ Vatican were currently engaged in the Monday night gay sex orgy, the daughter of a Rome boarding house owner was wandering the halls and walls of the Vatican trying to find a priest who would come and administer the Last Rites to one of her mother’s lodgers an elderly priest and long retired exorcist.

The girl happened to run into one of the few heterosexual Vatican curia officials Samhain Cardinal Salaman a former professional stage magician turned Cardinal.

Cardinal Salaman accompanied the girl to her mother’s boarding house and administered the Last Rites to the dying exorcist.

When he had finished administering the Last Rites, the old exorcist spoke.

“There was one exorcism I recall more vividly than all the rest,” said the exorcist, “it was a nun who was demonically possessed.”

“Go on,” the Cardinal nodded, “A nun who was demonically possessed…”

“She was demonically possessed by an entity that identified itself as the Spirit of Pachamama,” the exorcist continued.

“The Spirit of Pachamama?” Cardinal Salaman was astounded.

“Yes,” the exorcist answered, “The nun had become possessed while giving birth to a child. The child’s father, the nun had told her fellow nuns in the convent, was a bishop.”

“How long ago was this, Father?” The cardinal asked the exorcist.

“Many many years ago, Father,” the old exorcist replied.

“Did the child live?” Cardinal Salaman wanted to know.

“Yes, the child lived,” the exorcist nodded.

“How old would the child be now?” Salaman inquired.

The exorcist did not answer.

For he had gone to his reward.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 26th
2021.

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100 More Days Till Halloween…

July 23, 2021 at 10:58 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

“This is Jack Anderson at Terror 97 FM in London- the radio station that keeps you in stitches – a la style of Dr. Victor Frankenstein’s creation. This just in from Canada… Earlier today genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee slew two more ugly women in a Dollarama store in Calgary. And now here’s Air Supply singing their coming Halloween hit Two Less Ugly People In The World…”

. . .

There was a state of excitement prevailing in the Vatican among the city state’s wide assortment of Jesuit priests for word had come to pass that the demon Baphomet was going to address them at A Come As You Are convention in the Vatican Sauna Steam Bath House named Hyacinth Sizzles Apollo’s Swizzle Stick.

Meanwhile in the Papal Apartments, Pope Francis was consulting with one of his leading theological advisors Walter Cardinal Kasper.

“Your Unholiness,” Kasper addressed Bergoglio by his most appropriate title, “a group of flying saucer UFOs containing 6.66 feet tall T-Rex ET reptilians have landed within the walls of the Vatican.”

“What for?” Francis asked as he licked a Spartan Greek popsicle.

“We’re not sure,” Kasper answered.

. . .

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson had been hiding inside a tomb in London’s Highgate Cemetery ever since British MP Renfield R. Renfield publicly called for the 10 Downing Street occupant’s assassination this past Wednesday.

The colourful and controversial MP had issued the assassination call after the Zombie Nosferatu Tory Prime Minister (whose forehead had been etched with the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST in red felt ink) announced this past Wednesdy that he intended to introduce a vaccine passport in Britain next month.

Bishop Sean Manchester the traditionalist Old Catholic Church Bishop of Glastonbury and a leading exorcist was walking around the cemetery amidst reports that a vampire was once again haunting the cemetery for the first time in 51 years.

As Johnson sat inside the tomb with sweat on his forehead, the ghost of Karl Marx (looking well roasted) appeared alongside him and asked him, “How’s it going?”.

. . .

Yaldabaoth the Irish Leprechaun was in Highgate Cemetery eating cold mutton sandwiches and drinking Guinness beer.

He was listening to Terror 97 FM London on his old 1970s style transistor radio.

The radio was playing a commercial and a Halloween holiday jingle, “100 more days till Halloween… Silver Shamrock.”

A hand holding a silver shamrock suddenly appeared out of the ground near the old gravestone where Yaldabaoth was having his evening picnic totally freaking the wee leprechaun out.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday July 23rd
2021.

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