Pan Goatee’s Ongoing Aesthetic Crusade and Hillary’s Nightmare

September 24, 2020 at 10:32 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee had gone to a nearby grocery store to buy himself some Mango and Guava juice (to start the new autumn season by eating and drinking healthy).

Pan Goatee’s serial killing specialty was to kill ugly looking women (or as he called them “female facially aesthetically challenged” so as not to be so politically offensive in an age of extreme political correctness where people are so easily offended about everything).

As Goatee returned from the grocery store and walked across the street to his home, he noticed a fat ugly blimp walking her dog (a dog of the four legged variety as opposed to the two legged variety).

The fat ugly blimp’s dog took a shit on the lawn of the house where Pan Goatee rented a room.

“Leaping toadstools!” Goatee exclaimed, “You walk around with your fat ugly face ruining the aesthetic environment of an early autumn evening and then your dog takes a shit on my lawn? Why don’t you potty train him to take a shit on your face? At least that way it would be a huge improvement.”

Goatee then beheaded the fat ugly blimp with his astral laser machete.

He beheaded the dog as well for crapping on his lawn.

Nanites from Hell arrived to eat the remains of the fat ugly blimp and her crapping dog.

After Goatee had put his Mango and Guava juice away, he was so angry about the encounter with the fat ugly blimp and her crapping dog, he decided to go for a long walk hoping that seeing the autumn colours of the trees would improve his mood.

But the colours of the trees had not changed colour yet.

It must be all the hot air flowing from City Hall these days as the city’s fat chubby Mayor (who lucky for him was male otherwise his political career might have come to an abrupt and sudden end when Goatee moved into the city) and his brainless city councillors and even more brainless bureaucrats didn’t seem to know how to run a city, Goatee fumed.

The hot air from City Hall was preventing the leaves on the trees from changing colour.

Goatee decided to turn around and head home.

His mood even more sour than ever.

Then lo and behold! his mood worsened when an even fatter and uglier fat ugly blimp than the one he encountered earlier in the evening was walking down the street right at him.

“What’s with you uglos?” Goatee noted as he beheaded her, “This must be part of a George Soros funded plot to lower the morale of what used to be western civilization and pave the way for a global Communist revolution. They’ve even got fat ugly blimps doing TV ads for the Big Spin Wheel Lottery whereas in the past they used to have beautiful women doing it. This Great Reset as Soros and the UN call it is off to a piss poor start in my opinion. And my lawn if it could talk would say it’s off to a crappy start!”.

. . .

“Unholy Mother of Beelzebub!” Hillary Clinton woke up screaming, “I had a nightmare where I dreamed I was being beheaded by a genetically created satyr hot off the test tubes and hot off the pages of classical Greek mythology and he was speaking hilariously funny Oscar Wilde style witticisms as he beheaded me.”

“I had the same nightmare!” Bill said as he woke up with a huge smile on his face.

“Have you been sleep writing phone numbers again?” Hillary grabbed the pen and paper away from the former Fornicator-In-Chief.

Hillary became enraged, “Why did you write down Monica Lewinsky’s phone number?”.

“Did I write down Monica Lewinsky’s phone number?” Bill blushed, “I meant to write down Ariana Grande’s. I imagine Monica is quite old by now. And I really enjoyed ogling Ariana Grande’s ass along with the Rev. Jesse Jackson at Aretha Franklin’s funeral two years ago. I was wanting to have Ariana perform with me a duet version of that old Dolly Parton song Here You Come Again.”

Hillary hit Bill over the head with a cactus plant.

. . .

Pope Francis looked at the shooter style mean looking alcohol concoction in his gay papal secretary’s shooter glass.

“What’s that drink called?” The Communist pontiff inquired.

“It’s called a Cthulhu,” his secretary answered.

“A what?” Francis looked confused.

“A Cthulhu,” the secretary replied, “named after a fictional monster created by the American horror writer H.P. Lovecraft.”

“What does it taste like?” Francis asked.

“I guess I’m about to find out,” the secretary smiled and downed the shooter.

He immediately disintegrated.

Both flesh and bones (most of his bones anyways).

Only his skull remained.

“I don’t think I shall ever order one of those,” Francis remarked as he rang his bell to ask his valet to bring him a new secretary.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday September 24th
2020.

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Tartarus Bound and The Keys

September 18, 2020 at 10:22 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

As the three headed dog Cerberus led the late U.S. Associate Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg to her rotating barbeque spit over an open fire in Tartarus where she’d be spending her next eternity, three other figures had just been granted a one year dispensational leave from their rotating barbeque spits in Tartarus.

Pope Francis, who had actually lost the Keys of Saint Peter several years ago but didn’t bother relaying that message to Hades the Greek god of the Underworld, had communicated with the cthonic deity to release the three figures.

Bergoglio had communicated with Hades via a Rome based spiritist medium Sophia de Medici.


Sophia de Medici: Who did not feel at all threatened, sexually harrassed or lusted at by the men who worked in Pope Francis’ Vatican.

Later after the three figures arrived in Rome, Pope Francis had a Zoom conference video meeting with powerful figures from around the globe.

Meanwhile British MP Renfield R. Renfield was informing the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set that the term “Great Reset” was a globalist code word for establishing a One World Marxist Leninist government.

Earlier this week Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus the Ethiopian Communist who headed WHO (the World Health Organization) said that the current crisis would not end “with a vaccine but only with a total reorganization of society. We can never go back to the way things were before.”

Renfeld told Set: “That’s globalist code for freedom is permanently dead.”

The Sodom and Gomorrah admiring Italian-American physician Dr. Anthony Fauci (medical darling of the mainstream Marxist media) also talked about the need for combating climate change and for redistributing the world’s wealth (although by that he didn’t mean his own personal wealth would be available for redistribution- notation by Renfield).

Flaky Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi blamed both the CCP Wuhan virus and the California wildfires on climate change.

“Mother Earth is mad at us!” Said the San Francisco Congresswoman while sporting a Medusa serpentine hairdo.

Likewise conceited, pompous and arrogant California Gov. Gavin Newsom blamed the California wildfires on climate change.

Just as the latest California wildfire was being started by fireworks going off at a gender reveal party in the woods.

Certainly one fiery revelation to say the least!

At the Davos Forum in Switzerland earlier this year, George Soros told participants that this year must mark the start of the “Great Reset”.

Now George Soros, Bill Gates, American economist Jeffrey Sachs and U-2 singer Bono were in a Zoom video conference with Pope Francis.

“Gentlemen,” Pope Francis held his hammer and sickle crucifix given him as a gift by Evo Morales the former Marxist President of Bolivia, “I have asked Hades to release three spirits from Tartarus for an entire year to help us as we launch the Great Reset.”

The ghosts of Lenin, Stalin and Mao Tse-tung stepped forward into the room where the Unholy Father was addressing his fellow Zoom conference participants.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 18th
2020.

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The All Encompassing Covidocracy: Renfield On The Globalists, Technocratic Dictatorship and Pope Francis

September 12, 2020 at 10:46 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Technology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

“We are living under the first global medical dictatorship in world history.”
-Renfield R. Renfield

Renfield: In a January 2019 essay on the overuse of the word “dystopia” in American political discourse, Miami University of Ohio professor Ryan J. Barrilleaux wrote that the defining features of an actual dystopia are, “social regimentation, dehumanization, abuse of technology, state terror, a new class of rulers, propaganda instead of truth, inevitable totalitarianism and the tragedy of the individual.”

Now I’m sure 90% of political, cultural and media leaders across the globe would no doubt say that any resemblance between Prof. Barrilleaux’s definition of the word “dystopia” and the year 2020 is purely coincidental.
That’s because today’s elites don’t want the vast majority of sheeple on the planet to wake up and realize the nightmare Brave New World they’re being herded into with a little bit of help from their (the elite’s) friends the Covid-1984 virus, the People’s Liberation Army, the Wuhan Institute of Virology and the Chinese Communist Party with important supporting roles played by the anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans rioting and setting fires in America (better known as Antifa and BLM – BLM once thought to stand for Black Lives Matter but now we know really stands for Burn Loot Murder).
For social regimentation, we have obsessive-compulsive disorder handwashing regimen required of all of us, staying physically away from others, walking only in certain directions at the grocery store and not socializing with others are now the required acts of homage, fealty, veneration and worship we are now required to render unto the world’s technocratic Caesars.
For dehumanization, we now have face masks required in most businesses, most indoor places and an increasing number of outdoor places as well.
Technocrats can’t have people walking around as if they were created in the image of God or some such similar anachronism.
For abuse of technology, we now have the Big Tech giants such as Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Google censoring anybody who disagrees with the narrative set by the global elites who run these companies.
For state terror, there are ongoing examples of this spreading across what used to be the democratic world but the apotheosis of Covid 1984 state terror can be found in Australia’s Victoria state ruled over by that bloodthirsty down under guttersnipe Premier Daniel Andrews and I use the term “bloodthirsty down under guttersnipe” with all due respect.
States and cities ruled over by Democratic Party politicians in America also are growing examples of state terror particularly when it comes to churches and other places of worship.
I have no doubt that California Gov. Gavin Newsom longs to boldly go where Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews has gone before.
The new class of rulers are public “health experts” i.e. those who say that there are an infinite number of genders, a human in the womb with a beating heart is just a “clump of cells” and children should be able to attempt to “change” their sex.
This same gang of “geniuses” whose interpretations of data and projections (projections being guesses) are now to be regarded as infallible in today’s dystopian world.
For propaganda, we now have such Orwellian meaningless phrases as Staying Apart Keeps Us Together and of course every public health expert’s favourite line “social distancing”.
And of course even though the curve has been flattened and there’s only a one in 91 million chance of actually dying from the Coronavirus itself according to a recent Stanford University study, we must live in terror and fear and be obedient.
And of course our elites meanwhile continue to speak nonsense.
Nancy Pelosi, sporting her new ambushed hairstyle, tells us that Mother Earth is angry with us.
And that’s the reason for both the Covid-1984 virus and the California wildfires.
A non-mask wearing California Gov. Gavin Newsom says that climate change (and not arson) is to blame for the California wildfires.
The Pachamama worshipping Pope Francis will be issuing a new encyclical next month – on Fraternity- to be issued October 3rd in which Francis will say that the doctrines of the Freemasonic fraternity (condemned by every previous Pope dating back to Pope Clement XII in 1738) are now to be regarded as the doctrines of the Catholic Church.
Then on October 14th, Pope Francis will issue a directive that was to have been issued May 14th of this year (but got postponed due to the Covid-1984 virus) in which he says that Communism must be taught in every single Catholic institution of learning from parochial school and kindergarten right up to Catholic colleges and Universities.
Of course this has always been the case in most Catholic centers of learning in the Western world since that ecclesial disaster known as Vatican II but now it will have formal papal blessing.

The Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama (worshipped by Pope Francis and other Modernist liberal Apostate Catholics) as she appeared to the ghost of Orson Welles.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 12th
2020.

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Stalinist Demonic Sex Orgy Forum Held At Georgetown University

September 2, 2020 at 10:11 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was talking with his friend Amadeus Emanon via Skype.

He was showing Amadeus video of a recent Georgetown University on-line forum called Pope Francis and The Reform of The Church.

Renfield and Amadeus were viewing the forum video using The Dr. Cadbury Rocher Supernatural Entity Detector Lens.

The three headed dog Cerberus was seen carrying around a poster that the great Renaissance painter and sculptor Michelangelo who resided in the Elysian Fields (referred to as the Church Expectant In Paradise in the Anglican Book of Common Prayer) had drawn and designed for the on-line forum.

Below the block letters POPE FRANCIS AND THE REFORM OF THE CHURCH could be seen Pope Francis operating a crane with a wrecking ball that was totally demolishing Saint Peter’s Basilica while the figure of the Blessed Virgin Mary could be seen weeping in the background.

The crane bore the logo Baal and Baphomet Wrecking Co. on it.

And speaking of Baal and Baphomet, they were also present at the on-line forum overseeing a group of demons who were all engaged in various sexual positions with one another.

Also present were the ghosts of Josef Stalin, Mao Tse-tung, Fidel Castro and Pol Pot who had all been granted day passes from their rotating barbeque spits down in Tartarus to attend the forum.

The August 31st Georgetown forum was sponsored by Georgetown University’s Office of The Vice-President For Global Engagement (the coat of arms for the office, designed by the Dutch Renaissance painter Hieronymus Bosch, showed a sexually perverted deviant satyr and a sexually perverted deviant centaur getting it on with one another in an orgiastic menage a trois that also involved a Pope Francis blessed wooden statue of the Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama).

Addressing the forum was Paul Elie a senior fellow at Georgetown’s Berkeley Center For Religion, Peace and World Affairs.

Mr. Elie was wearing a shirt that had been spraypainted (in glow in the dark ultraviolet light) with the words GLOBALIST WINDBAG.

Said Mr. Elie, “I think there’s active resistance to Pope Francis taking place in the United States.”

“Brilliant deduction,” piped up the ghost of Sherlock Holmes who was sitting in the front row of the empty (except entirely covered by copulating demons) auditorium, “What clued you in?”.

Mr. Elie then went on blathering about the Catholic social teaching of Pope Francis as Josef Stalin handed him a copy of Karl Marx’s Communist Manifesto and Mao Tse-tung handed him a copy of Mao’s Little Red Book.

Next to mince up on the forum stage was some flaming dandy named Austen Ivereigh who had written two books on Pope Francis’ pontificate and was currently working on a third (“Talk about Much ado about nothing!” Renfield remarked to Amadeus).

Whined Ivereigh, “Critics of Pope Francis are denying that he’s led by the Holy Spirit.”

The fallen angel Mephistopheles, who was sitting in the back row of the auditorium, started choking on his hot buttered popcorn and his jumbo glass of Coca-Cola when Ivereigh talked about Pope Francis being led by the Holy Spirit.

As Mephistopheles continued to roll on the floor in huge gales of laughter amidst all that spilled popcorn and spilled Coke, Ivereigh continued snivelling, “To charge that Pope Francis is a heretic or a modernist or to claim that he’s trying to change the fundamentals of the Church is signs of a schismatic mentality.”

At that moment in the Vatican, Pope Francis was asking his valet, “Have you seen my keys?”.

“What keys would those be?’ His valet asked.

“The Keys of Saint Peter,” Francis answered.

“Oh, you lost those keys several years back,” his valet noted.

Then a third person, the oh so perfectly curly haired dandy Argentine Father Augusto Zampini of the Vatican Dicastery For Promoting Integral Human Development pirouetted his way on to the forum stage.

Father Zampini lavished praise on the Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus for opening up the way for Pope Francis to accelerate his church “reforms” and his plans for global governance on the world.

“The Pope doesn’t have a Stalinist plan for the Church,” Zampini insisted.

“Well,” Renfield remarked to Amadeus, “When the Vatican representative to this year’s Davos Conference in Switzerland says that the Pope doesn’t have a Stalinist plan for the Church, you can rest assured that the Pope has a Stalinist plan for the Church.”

“May the Pope have many divisions at his beck and call,” Stalin’s ghost grinned.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 2nd
2020.

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Miracle On The Vistula

August 15, 2020 at 10:53 pm (Education, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Battle of Warsaw (1920) was fought from August 12th 1920 to August 25th 1920 between the Polish National Army and Leon Trotsky’s Soviet Red Army.

Poland was on the verge of defeat in the Polish-Soviet War at the start of the battle.

But somehow the Polish Army under the command of Marshal Josef Pilsudski managed to regroup, repulse and defeat the Red Army in what Russian Bolshevik leader Vladimir Lenin called “an enormous defeat” for his forces.

The politician and diplomat Edgar Vincent regards the 1920 Battle of Warsaw as one of the most important battles in world history on his expanded list of history’s most decisive battles since the Polish victory over the Soviets halted the spread of Communism further westwards into Europe.

Had the Soviets taken Poland, nothing would have stopped their march into Germany (which had a shattered economy and a thorougly routed and demoralized army) and then France (whose army was wartorn and weary from 4 gruelling and bloody years of trench warfare in the First World War).

All of Western Europe would have probably fallen to Communism and then Lenin and Trotsky would have set their eyes across the English Channel towards Britain.

And the only one on the British isles who would have sounded the alarm about imminent danger would have been Winston Churchill while most of Britain’s stodgy old politicians doted along and would have proposed a Royal Commission task force to study the subject.

At the start of the Soviet-Polish War, the Bolshevik Lenin’s speeches asserted that the Bolshevik Revolution would be carried to Western Europe on the bayonets of Russian soldiers and that the shortest route to Berlin and Paris lay through Warsaw.

The battle turned for the Poles when Marshal Pilsudski launched a counteroffensive on Soviet forces from the south of Warsaw moving north and then trapping the Soviet forces in an encirclement.

However some have cited supernatural intervention as the reason for the victory.

Diaries from many present at the battle reported that the Virgin Mary appeared to Polish troops on the banks of the Vistula River on August 15th which is the Feast of the Assumption Into Heaven of the Blessed Virgin Mary and spoke words of encouragement.

August 15th 1920.

100 years ago today.

. . .

Pope Francis was in a video conference call with George Soros, Bill Gates, U-2 singer Bono (who sat at his desk immensely pleased with the very unusual cactus plant he had just received in the mail from Australia) and American economist Jeffrey Sachs to discuss their continuing plans for a Marxist One World Government.

Pope Francis noted, “One hundred years ago today the cause of global Marxism suffered a serious setback. And many other setbacks as well over the years. Today, we’ll finally push the cause of global Marxism forward with the Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus helping us.”

“Jesus Christ!” Bono shouted.

“This is a private meeting not a public audience,” Pope Francis admonished as he wagged his finger at the Irish singer via video, “There’s no need to mention that name here.”

“No, a cow just jumped in through my study window and ran off with my cactus plant between her teeth!” Bono exclaimed in a great state of agitation.

“Daisy! Daisy!” Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun briefly appeared on video and ran after the cow as she headed down the road off the Bono estate.

. . .

“Lexington,” Donald Trump was speaking to his British butler and valet, “I was just reading in the Monthly Moon which is the monthly newspaper in the small town of Smallville, Kansas… speaking of which I wonder why Clark Kent who lives in Kansas City, Kansas (shouldn’t that be called Metropolis?) hasn’t answered any of the thousands of emails I’ve sent him hour by hour inviting him to have dinner with me?.”

“I have no idea, sir,” Lexington answered.

“The NSA tells me he’s forwarded a few of them to the Irish-Jewish science-fiction writer George Finneganburg for some reason,” Trump scratched his head and yellow artificial dandruff fell out, “Anyways getting back to the Monthly Moon article, they were quoting British MP Renfield R. Renfield… I wonder why the Monthly Moon and other smaller independent news outlets are the only ones to quote Renfield. None of the big mainstream news media does. Not even Fox News. And Fox News is ostensibly supposed to be anti-Communist unlike the other big news outlets.”

“I have no idea again, sir,” Lexington sighed.

“Anyways, Renfield said in the article, “It’s rather frightening to think that the only person standing in the way of a Communist Neo-Bolshevik takeover of America is a non-altruistic non-empathetic narcissist who fancies himself a 21st Century Caesar and a Neo-Roman Emperor.” Now Lexington,” Trump scratched his head again leading to further golden artificial dandruff falling on the Rubicon Rubik’s Cube on Trump’s desk, “who is he talking about? Do you know any individual who fits that description?”.

“Of course not, sir,” Lexington replied as he helped Trump on with his toga and his laurel leaf crown.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday August 15th
2020.

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BBC’s Stalinist-Maoist Propaganda Chief, Pope Francis and The Last Days of Hong Kong

July 6, 2020 at 10:34 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

“I think it’s safe to say that Anthony Zurcher the BBC News reporter on North American affairs is a Marxist-Leninist Communist scumbag,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield began his podcast with his usual sense of diplomacy and decorum.

As Dr. Cadbury Rocher of Set Enterprises sat listening to the podcast while eating his seafood salad (much to the discomfort of Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster in his nearby aquarium), Renfield pointed out how Zurcher’s news reports and tweets were heavily laced with Marxist-Leninist buzzwords and not much reporting of the actual facts.

“Mr. Zurcher seems to be a transgendered 21st Century British version of 20th Century American journalist Anna Louise Strong,” Renfield went on.

American journalist Anna Louise Strong was a strong supporter of Stalin, Mao and various Communist regimes across the world back in the 1930s, ’40s, ’50s and ’60s.

She was often made fun of by British journalist, political analyst, essayist and satirist Malcolm Muggeridge who described her as a “woman who seemed to have such an intense look of stupidity about her, one could almost take it for a strange form of beauty.”

Renfield said he’d leave it to Pope Francis’ cardinals to see if beauty could also be ascribed to the bald-headed Mr. Zurcher’s equally intensely stupid face.

Renfield noted how Zurcher seemed to have covert and sometimes overt support for the anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans who were busy tearing down statues and trying, in Maoist cultural revolutionary fashion, to erase all traces of America’s past.

Meanwhile over in Rome, Pope Francis in his Sunday July 5th public audience had dropped all references to Hong Kong including a plea for religious freedom there.

In a text given to Vatican journalists before the Angelus audience, the Pope was to devote a few sentences to the situation in Hong Kong.

But those remarks were never included in the Pope’s public speech.

Renfield said there were rumours circulating today that one of Pope Francis’ speechwriters had just lost his job and even worse had his golden key to the Vatican Health Spa Steam Bath House taken away from him.

Meanwhile Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was receiving a psychic vision of Havana Cuba being hit by huge waves.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 6th
2020.

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Pan Goatee Beheads Fat Ugly Blimp While Marxist Quartet Visits DC

July 4, 2020 at 10:42 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Satyr serial killer Pan Goatee received an email from his local public library telling people not to put their library books in the microwave and turn it on in the mistaken belief that this will kill any Covid-19 virus lurking on the book covers and jacket.

“I can’t believe the stupidity of people these days,” Goatee remarked.

But there was plenty of stupidity going around as some fat ugly blimp was stupidly wandering around the neighbourhood where Pan Goatee lived.

Goatee quickly beheaded the fat ugly blimp with his astral laser machete and cut her up into 666 quadrillion pieces.

There was a beautiful woman who had been walking alongside the fat ugly blimp.

“Just on the off chance ugliness is contagious like the Covid-19 virus,” Goatee spoke in solemn infectious diseases “expert” tones as he beheaded the beautiful woman.

Dr. Anthony Fauci had never addressed the question on whether or not ugliness was contagious (although there was some evidence for it when one looked at news footage of the overall appearance of women who attended Hillary 2016 rallies 4 years ago).

Dr. Fauci himself had caught a mysterious virus a few days ago that had turned him into a garden gnome lawn ornament.

Although members of House and Senate Committees that Dr. Fauci had testified in front of the past week hadn’t noticed any difference.

As Joe Biden made his 4th of July message on his front lawn surrounded by garden gnome lawn ornaments whom, he told the assembled media, were wanting to smell his hairy legs, Biden said, “The most patriotic thing one can do this 4th of July is to wear a mask.”

Biden made the statement while NOT wearing a mask.

At the 4th of July fireworks display over Washington DC, the ghosts of Vladimir Lenin, Josef Stalin, Mao Tse-tung and North Korea’s first Communist leader Kim Il-sung were all watching.

The ghosts of the Marxist quartet had been temporarily released by Hades from roasting away on their respective barbeque spits down in Tartarus at the request of Pope Francis who was quite anxious that the foursome should see this year’s 4th of July fireworks over Washington DC.

Pope Francis’ request to Hades had been co-signed by American economist Jeffrey Sachs, Bill Gates of Microsoft and botched vaccines fame, George Soros, WHO head Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres and Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping.

“Just think,” Stalin shed tears, “By next year’s 4th of July celebrations, this country will belong to us.”

“Or at least your ideological successors at any rate,” the 3 heads of Cerberus growled as the famed Underworld dog chased the 4 back to Tartarus.

And then in the glow of the Buck Moon (the nickname of the July full moon because this is the time of year when the male deer begin to grow their antlers), Cernunnos the Celtic horned stag god of beasts and wild places stood atop the Washington Monument obelisk in the moonlight.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday July 4th
2020.

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Pan Goatee Slays Uglos To Mark Ring of Fire Solar Eclipse

June 21, 2020 at 10:32 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

“Beautiful women are proof that Heaven exists.”

-Actor Ricardo Montalban

“And ugly women are proof that Hell exists.”

-Satyr global aesthetics and beautification campaigner Pan Goatee

Pan Goatee was very much regretting the fact that today’s Ring of Fire solar eclipse was over Asia and parts of Africa rather than over the western half of North America.

For it would have been better today if darkness fell over western North America on the 1st day of the summer solstice.

The reason being that loads of ugly women in the city where Pan Goatee lived decided to ruin the first day of summer for everyone by walking around in public without wearing paper bags over their heads.

The first ugly woman that the genetically created satyr serial killer noticed was one walking out of a physiotherapy clinic at a nearby shopping centre.

“You don’t need physiotherapy, you need plastic surgery,” Pan Goatee remarked as he lopped off the uglo’s head with his astral laser machete.

The next uglo he came across was some facially aesthetically challenged creature who was sitting on a chair in front of a barber shop.

“These poor guys have only recently opened up after 3 months of lockdown,” Pan Goatee pointed out as he lopped off this uglo’s head, “I don’t think they appreciate an ugly looking thing parked in front frightening off all the customers.”

Dostoevsky once wrote that beauty could save the world.

No wonder the western world was on the brink of a widespread Neo-Marxist insurrection with all these uglos walking about, Goatee politically philosophized.

On his way back home, Goatee passed a fat ugly blimp sitting at a bus stop.

“Why aren’t you busy tearing down statues with all the other uglos and their brainless boyfriends with incredibly bad taste in politics, economics, culture and women?” Goatee asked rhetorically aloud as he lopped off the blimp’s head.

. . .

Pope Francis the Vicar of Cthulhu and Mictlantecuhtli was sitting at his office in the Vatican when the phone rang.

“Hello, Comrade Jorge here,” Francis spoke into the receiver.

“Hello, this is the AntiOdysseus,” said the voice at the other end.

“The AntiOdysseus?” Pope Francis was quizzical.

“Yes,” answered the exasperated voice at the other end, “If there’s an Odysseus, there’s got to be an AntiOdysseus.”

“I suppose,” Francis chewed on his pencil.

“Listen, me and the boys here have just finished building a huge giant wooden statue of the Baphomet on wheels at an Italian government lodge outside Rome and we’d like to bring it down to Rome and wheel it within the walls of the Vatican,” the AntiOdysseus explained, “Is that all right?”.

“I guess that’s all right,” Francis checked his day and night planner, “If Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI was here, he’d probably object to a huge giant wooden statue of the Baphomet being wheeled into the Vatican. But he’s currently in Regensburg in Bavaria.”

. . .

“Both Nazism and Communism are the bastard children of Freemasonry.
With last night’s tearing down of the statue of the white supremacist, Aryan race promoting, swastika worshipping and Ku Klux Klan co-founding Scottish Rite Freemasonic Confederate General Albert Pike in Washington DC, it is now obvious which bastard child of Freemasonry is on the ascendant in America.
It is Communism the bastard child of French Grand Orient Lodge Freemasonry and Adam Weishaupt’s Bavarian Illuminati.”

-Renfield R. Renfield MP

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday June 21st
2020.

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Mephistopheles and The Billionaire

May 30, 2020 at 10:54 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Mephistopheles and The Billionaire

An American billionaire stood in his home with a glass of wine in his hand.

He was startled to see a demon standing there.

The demon seemed to radiate an aura of class and seeming elegance.

He did not have grotesque or ferocious features but from the expression on his face, he seemed to have the most sinister look that the billionaire had ever encountered in a demon.

“Who are you?” He asked.

“I guess you haven’t seen me before,” the fallen angel helped himself to a glass of port, “you’ve mainly had contact with Baal and Baphomet the patron demons of the U.S. Democratic Party. I, however along with the demon Mammon, am one of the two patron demons of the U.S. Republican Party. I am Mephistopheles.”

“The fallen angel to whom Faust sold his soul?” The billionaire inquired.

“I must someday thank Christopher Marlowe and Johann Wolfgang von Goethe for all the free publicity they have given me,” Mephistopheles smiled, “otherwise most would probably never have heard of me. I needed a scientist’s soul at the time and so I sought Faust’s.”

“Baal is patron demon of child sacrifice, Baphomet is patron demon of sexual perversion and abominations, Mammon is patron demon of greed but what are you, Mephistopheles, patron demon of?” The billionaire asked.

“I am the patron demon in charge of promoting racial and ethnic hatred,” Mephistopheles smiled and pointed at the TV screen.

The sound was mute but the visuals were of CNN showing rioting and looting in various cities across the U.S. ostensibly as part of protests protesting the murder of Afro-American George Floyd by white policeman Derek Chauvin who kept his knee on Floyd’s neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds; 2 minutes and 53 seconds of which occurred after Floyd became unresponsive.

“You know,” Mephistopheles examined a rare vase on the mantelpiece, “I’ve been told of the reaction of Charles Manson the hippy commune leader of the group known as the Manson Family as he’s busy roasting away on his barbecue spit down in Tartarus. As you know, dear old Charlie was hoping to start a race war by arranging for the Tate-LaBianca murders of August 9th and 10th 1969. This he knew because he imagined the lyrics of the Beatles song Helter Skelter told him so. Sadly for poor Charlie, the Tate-LaBianca murders never led to the apocalyptic race war he was wanting. And now thanks to policeman Chauvin’s murder of citizen Floyd, the race war for which dear old Charlie always longed may have finally started. I heard Manson wept tears of joy as he was turning over on the open flames just below his spit when he heard the news of what is currently happening in America in the last week of May 2020. Sadly for dear old Charlie, all those tears weren’t enough to put out all those flames.”

“There’s a Hell?” The American billionaire seemed surprised, “I’ve met Pope Francis on a few occasions and he assures me there is no Hell.”

Mephistopheles said nothing but put the vase down and just smiled.

He stood gazing at a replica of a Basil Hallward portrait painting of Dorian Gray.

“The racial tensions in America are now coming to a head and this Covid-19 pandemic has produced the flammable material necessary for the final spark,” Mephistopheles smiled, “This lockdown of two months plus people losing their jobs as the economy tanked has managed to produce a substantial mass psychosis. Psychosis and stupidity had already hit most of the leaders of the world first when this pandemic started. That’s why they made all the numerous bad decisions and stupid statements they did which just aggravated their populations’ anxiety and approaching mental breakdowns. Unlike King David or King Solomon, they never bothered getting down on their knees and asking the Creator of the Cosmos for wisdom and guidance in this matter. Instead they forbade gatherings in places of worship all over the world. You can’t have people talking to the Creator of the Cosmos in public. Citizens must render on to Caesar what is Caesar’s and in this century also render what is God’s on to Caesar. On this, politicians of all political stripes seem to agree. As for America, you’ve had numerous people spitting, coughing and sneezing on Asians for months since a certain leader kept blaming the Chinese people themselves for the virus and numerous folk who followed the pronouncements or should I say the tweets of this leader took matters into their own hands or should I say out of their own mouths and noses. And then the numerous tensions between whites and blacks that have gone on for centuries since slavery was first introduced as an institution in the American colonies. And then of course self-proclaimed “real Americans” have often hated or regarded with contempt those of a Latin American background. Even though California, Texas, Arizona, New Mexico and parts of Colorado, Nevada and even Utah was land that white Americans originally stole from Mexico. To say nothing of the land white Americans stole from Native American tribes.”

“Are you here to give me a history lesson?” The billionaire asked uneasily.

“No, I’m here to proclaim the possible end of America,” Mephistopheles smiled, “It was in July 1620 that the Mayflower left Plymouth, England carrying Puritan pilgrims to eventually arrive in what is now Provincetown Harbor in November 1620. That marked the beginning of what became known to history as America. Now 400 years later it appears that America has been tried in the balance and found wanting.”

Mephistopheles stood up and showed himself out.

The billionaire fiddled with the remote and turned to another channel.

The 1972 musical drama Cabaret with Liza Minnelli, Joel Grey and Michael York was being shown.

It was the scene in a German beer garden where a Hitler Youth member sings,

… “But somewhere a glory awaits unseenĀ 
Tomorrow belongs to me
Tomorrow belongs to me…”

-A vampire novel chapterĀ 
written by Christopher
Saturday May 30th
2020.

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Alan Dershowitz and Sobek

May 25, 2020 at 10:58 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, magic, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Science, Science-Fiction, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Alan Dershowitz and Sobek

Lawyer Alan Dershowitz was conducting a thought experiment.

He was imagining himself a defence lawyer at the Old Bailey in London in 1888, that Jack the Ripper had been caught and arrested and he Dershowitz had been asked to defend the Ripper.

He was playing in his mind his opening address to the jury at the start of the Ripper’s trial, “Members of the jury, I’d like to say a few words about my client who’s the noblest Briton of them all…”

His thought experiment was interrupted by a knock at the door.

He opened it and standing there was the Egyptian crocodile god Sobek.

Dershowitz had met Sobek on a few occasions before in the presence of a presumably late former client of his Jeffrey Epstein.

Epstein used to hang out with Sobek quite often that is when the pervert pedophile financier wasn’t busy hanging out with the likes of Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, Donald Trump and Prince Andrew.

“Sobek,” Dershowitz smiled, “I haven’t seen you since Jeffrey allegedly hung himself in prison after he had knocked himself out and then tied a noose around his neck while still unconscious.”

“Those were the days my friend, we thought they’d never end,” Sobek quoted old Mary Hopkin lyrics to the attorney.

“What brings you here?” Dershowitz waved the crocodile over to an arm chair in his living room.

“I’d like to thank you for giving those Christians a hard time who think that a mandatory vaccine could be the Mark of the Beast system prophesied in the Book of Revelation Chapter 13,” Sobek sat down and helped himself to some pretzels from an appetizer dish on the coffee table.

“It was no problem,” Dershowitz lit himself a cigar and offered one to the crocodile god which Sobek accepted, “I called their bluff by saying “We all know that the Devil can cite Scripture to his purposes.” And then I proceeded to bolster my own argument by doing just that. Citing an obscure passage in the Book of Leviticus (Chapters 12 and 13 to be precise) which nobody bothers to read anymore save the occasional old fashioned Calvinist and occasional old fashioned Presbyterian who are totally obsessed with blood and gore and all manner of obscure long winded regulations. Heck even most religious Jews don’t bother reading it anymore since we no longer do living animal sacrifices in the contemporary Israelite religion. I myself am a secular inclined Jew. I suppose if I were religious, I might belong to the Synagogue of Satan that Christ and Saint John the Apostle warned about.”

“Glad to hear it,” Sobek blew smoke rings in the shape of Nile River bulrushes.

“Why are you so into mandatory vaccines?” Dershowitz asked.

“Well our friend Jeffrey was into mandatory vaccines,” Sobek smiled showing his perfectly snow white teeth.

“That I didn’t know,” Dershowitz poured a brandy and offered one to Sobek which the crocodile god accepted, “what type of vaccine was he into developing?”.

“It could be used for anything actually,” Sobek sipped his brandy, “He was intending to use administering the vaccine as a cover for something else.”

“And what would that be?” Dershowitz inquired.

“To change people’s DNA,” Sobek answered.

“I knew Jeffrey was obsessed with the idea of creating a master race,” Dershowitz moved a chess piece on a board next to him, “My cousin Anna’s best friend Rachel’s rabbi Goldbloom didn’t approve because it reeked of the Nazis Heinrich Himmler and Adolf Eichmann and their work.”

“Jeffrey was investigating cases where alleged UFO abductees were supposedly given alien implants aboard the UFOs they were taken,” Sobek explained.

Dershowitz looked on in horror as an invisible opponent captured his Queen.

He then looked over at Sobek.

“That I didn’t know,” Dershowitz swallowed his cigar and had to wash it down with brandy, “Jeffrey was always full of surprises.”

“Some doctors did find strange implants in the bodies of a few alleged UFO abductees,” Sobek pointed out, “And what these implants had in common was they were slowing changing the DNA of the abductees.”

“To what?” Dershowitz asked.

“Jeffrey wasn’t sure,” Sobek shrugged, “But it was something not human. His research came to an abrupt end when he was arrested and later suicided in prison.”

“I take it Jeffrey was wanting to administer these DNA changing implants to people,” Dershowitz moved a white bishop on the board.

“He was,” Sobek nodded, “But he realized most people, like the abductees aboard the alien craft, would probably object to having these implants. So he thought they could be administered as an extra bonus. Like say with a mandatory vaccine.”

“I wonder if Jeffrey ever discussed his plans with Bill Gates,” Dershowitz played with his white bishop and a black king’s knight as he looked over at the TV screen and it was showing some old news footage of Bill Gates meeting Pope Francis a few years back.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 25th
2020.

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