Michelangelo and Harvey, Vladimir and Kim Jong-un

April 25, 2019 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher was taking a holiday lying face downwards on a water bed.

He had genetically created the fire breathing venomous basilisk Basilisk Wrathsbone who had escaped from his prison barn and set fire to Paris’ Notre Dame Cathedral.

As luck would have it, Dr. Rocher’s quite literally immortal great-grandmother Sherrielock Holmes (who was Sherlock Holmes’ twin sister) is a great admirer of Notre Dame Cathedral as well as a world-famous dominatrix.

Which explains why Dr. Rocher is currently lying face downwards.

So Set Enterprises’ Executive Secretary Miranda Singh was currently writing down the notes of Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster’s visions at Set Enterprises’ laboratories in London.

Dr. Rocher had recently created an astral realm companion for Michelangelo’s remote viewing abilities.

The astral realm companion was named Harvey and was a 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka invisible bunny rabbit named after the identical character of the same name in the 1950 film Harvey that starred Jimmy Stewart.

The astral realm companion’s full name was Harvey Tallbanger since being so tall, he often banged his head on the ceiling of every room he entered.

Harvey Tallbanger had been sent to the Russian city of Vladivostok to spy on the summit meeting between Russian President Vladimir Putin and North Korean leader Kim Jong-un.

Since Harvey Tallbanger spoke and understood 153 languages (including Russian and Korean), there was no need to bring along an astral realm translator for the ride.

Harvey Tallbanger entered the summit room just as Vladimir and Kim were toasting one another.

“Jesus Christ!” The 6 foot 8 invisible Welsh pooka bunny rabbit said as he hit his head on the ceiling upon entering.

“What was that?” A startled Kim asked.

“Well,” Putin noted, “whatever invisible entity it is, it can’t be demonically possessed since it’s able to utter the name Jesus Christ. The same cannot be said for most U.S. politicians and major media outlets.”

“So, what is this good news you have to tell me?” Kim asked.

“Well, this past April 23rd, Russia launched the world’s longest submarine The Belgorod. The Belgorod is capable of carrying the Poseidon AI torpedo submersible drones (each one of which has the power of the Greek god Poseidon’s original trident that was stolen by the Syro-Phoenician mermaid goddess Atargatis and given to us by her for scientific examination and evaluation). Those drones can produce 1500 foot tsunamis capable of wiping out whole coasts,” Putin smiled as he sipped his ice water.

“I don’t think Trump would really weep if a tsunami wiped out California,” Kim pointed out.

“Yes, but he’d weep if a tsunami wiped out Florida and the Mar-a-Lago resort,” Putin smiled.

“That’s very true,” Kim grinned beatifically like the Smiling Buddha when he heard this bit of news.

And as U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo was busy watching the 1959 film version of The Last Days of Pompeii at his home in the U.S., Harvey Tallbanger used his rabbit ears to telepathically transmit the message to Michelangelo’s lobster antennae of the launch of The Belgorod submarine capable of carrying the Poseidon AI torpedo submersible drones with a possible target being Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort.

Michelangelo used his lobster claws to type the message on the keyboard of his waterproof iPad.

Miranda Singh wrote the message down in her FOR THE VAMPIRE SET’S EYES ONLY notebook when it came up on her computer screen.

Before delivering the message verbatim from Harvey Tallbanger, Michelangelo ordered the Neptune Seafood Submarine Sandwich (with strict orders to hold the lobster) from Subway and also cancelled his summer vacation to Florida this year and booked a round of golf at the Saint Andrew’s Golf Resort in Scotland instead.

Miranda Singh put in the appropriate order to the nearest Subway restaurant and also telephoned Michelangelo’s travel agent with the appropriate changes to the lobster’s summer travel plans.

Then she headed off to tell Set the big news about the Putin-Kim summit in Vladivostok.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 25th
2019.


Miranda Singh: Executive Secretary to the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set

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Brexit, Renfield For PM, Mermaid Miranda and Poseidon’s Trident

March 12, 2019 at 10:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )


The Vampiress Golgotha standing guard on the Astana Kazakhstan estate of her mother the Vampiress Lilith

A recently discovered Nostradamus tweet on the Internet had sent French and Italian intelligence agents scrambling to the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith’s estate to try to recover the Golem of Prague (recently abducted from his home in the attic of a Prague synagogue) for themselves.

The tweet read, “Whoever controls the Golem of Prague will control the European Union.” #Megalomaniac

German Intelligence agents hadn’t bothered to rush to Lilith’s estate because as German Chancellor Angela Merkel had pointed out, “Nostradamus died long before the Internet was invented.”

But it never occurred to President Emmanuel Macron of France or whatever Italian Prime Minister or Deputy Prime Minister was running the Italian government today while all the other coalition cabinet ministers were down in a Roman vino bar eating spaghetti and drinking vino.


The Vampiress Golgotha ready to slash the throat of any French or Italian intelligence agent planning to steal the Golem of Prague from her mother the Vampiress Lilith’s estate.

. . .

Meanwhile in Washington DC, Donald Trump had directed his Norwegian blue parrot to order the Pentagon to send a U.S. Special Forces unit to Astana Kazakhstan to take control of the Golem of Prague.

. . .

Msgr. Georg Ganswein knocked on the door of the bedroom of Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI.

“Yes,” the elderly Father Joseph Ratzinger opened the door.

“Holy Father,” the personal secretary still referred to the Pope Emeritus as Holy Father, “Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II is on the phone. She wants advice on what to do now that the latest Brexit bill has been defeated in Parliament. She wants to know whether she should request that a national unity coalition government be formed with a freshman MP from an opposition party that has only 2 seats in the House of Commons serving as Prime Minister.”

. . .

“I’m going to be Britain’s next Prime Minister,” MP Renfield R. Renfield announced to his friends Amadeus Emanon, the New Orleans vampiress Angelique Dumont and the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill before passing out at the London pub table where he was sitting after indulging in too many glasses of strong drink.

“He reminds me of me when I was still alive,” the ghost of Churchill remarked with spirited spectral tears in his ghostly eyes.

. . .


The Greek goddess Artemis dressed as a steampunk time traveller stands guard at the Latin numeral clock of Thoth (ancient Egyptian god of time and record keeping) in London as the clock winds down on Brexit.

The Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau vampire Franz Kohler had been travelling back and forth through time to prevent the anti-Nazi Renfield R. Renfield from becoming Prime Minister of Britain in the 2nd decade of the 21st Century thus preventing a resurrection of Der Fuhrer’s 1000-year-old Reich which both Kohler and the dying (hopefully soon to be resurrected) late Fuhrer hoped to achieve through mastery of Die Glocke a bell-shaped time travelling Nazi UFO flying saucer.

Now he was hoping to stop the Thoth clock’s countdown to Brexit to buy himself and the Reich more time.

In his occult research, Kohler had discovered that mermaid venom was capable of killing a god or goddess.

The SS officer put the Amazon blow dart with mermaid venom dipped arrow to his lips.

Only to find himself being shot with silver bullets fired at him by the gun of Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

Kohler fell to the ground mortally immortally wounded while Artemis and Van Helsing embraced and kissed.

“Not more engaging in tantric sex,” Kohler gasped as he saw the couple making out below the hands of the clock.

As Kohler started to slip away into eternal darkness, he could hear the voice of Cher singing from a distant radio, “If I could turn back time…”

. . .

The Mossad agent they call the Controller of The Golem (who no longer controlled his most prized possession the Golem of Prague) was walking sadly along the beach north of Tel Aviv when he came upon some rocks on which sat his good friend the mermaid Miranda who had shapeshifted into and assumed human form.

She too looked sad.

“Miranda, what’s wrong?” The Mossad agent asked.

Miranda looked at Nathan (which was the agent’s first name), “You’ve no doubt heard of the theft of the Greek sea god Poseidon’s trident. Neptune as he was called by the Romans only made the theft public now. The Syro-Phoenician mermaid goddess Atargatis in fact stole it from him a few years ago. And handed it over to the Russians. Poseidon’s trident serves as the basis for the Russian hypersonic Tsirkon missile.”

Nathan gulped.

With his knowledge of both classical mythology and advanced modern weapons systems, he knew that would make the Russian hypersonic Tsirkon missile invincible.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 12th
2019.

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Atargatis and Dracul, Kali and Lexus Decameron

February 24, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, love, Mystery, Mythology, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )


The northern Syrian goddess Atargatis toasts the morning after an evening of tantric sex with a vampire hunter

“Good morning, Mr. Van Helsing,” the goddess Atargatis toasted the Canadian vampire hunter with vodka after a night of tantric lovemaking.

“Good morning,” Van Helsing replied, “Is that an original Lexus Decameron oil painting I see behind you?”.

“It is,” Atargatis smiled, “it’s a painting of me in my mermaid form stealing Poseidon’s trident.”

“He’s captured the top part of you very well,” Van Helsing noted, “as for the bottom, I can’t say because I’ve never seen you in your mermaid form nor would I want to. Because I prefer my fish with chips and malt vinegar wrapped up in a basket of newspapers bought from Cockney Kids Fish ‘N Chips Shop.”

“My human bottom part is quite satisfied with you, Van Helsing,” Atargatis laughed, “so no fish tail soup for you.”

Van Helsing grabbed himself some ginger beer rather than vodka to drink and looked at the painting, “But I seem to recall my art gallery curator friend Dashwood Forrest saying that Lexus Decameron was born in 1970 and didn’t actually start painting until 2013. So what is a Lexus Decameron painting doing in a New York City hotel room in February 1944?”.

“The answer is simple like Donald Trump’s mind, Mr. Van Helsing,” Atargatis smiled like the Mona Lisa, “I brought it with me from the future.”

“And is this painting of you stealing Poseidon’s trident exactly how it happened?” Van Helsing asked inquisitively.

“It is,” Atargatis answered explicitly, “it happened off the small Greek island of Christopheros where Lexus Decameron has his studio. He was out swimming at the time and he saw me steal it. The man has a photographic memory. He used that memory to paint this picture.”

“I imagine my friend Peter Whitstable of Interpol would love to get his hand on that painting and use it as evidence,” Van Helsing looked at the picture of the sub-oceanic theft.

“Which is why I bought the painting from the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London,” Atargatis laughed as she ate a smoked oyster and washed it down with vodka, “because Lexus Decameron doesn’t allow copies or reproductions of his work. So I’ve got the evidence. And an artistic masterpiece as well.”

“It’s a fine body of work,” Van Helsing had to admit.

“As am I, Mr. Van Helsing, as am I,” she kissed him on the lips.

. . .

The Hindu goddess Kali had gone to the quiet tranquil Greek island of Christopheros to escape the noise her husband Shiva was making while composing a musical piece called Beethoven’s 9th Symphony Meets Freddie Mercury’s Bohemian Rhapsody which he was planning to perform with the Swiss National Symphony Orchestra.

While there, she visited the Lexus Decameron Studio where she admired his paintings.

“Where is Mr. Decameron at the moment?” She asked his housekeeper.

“At a friend’s studio in Paris,” the housekeeper answered, “French President Emmanuel Macron hired him to paint a picture of a living Statue of Liberty that the French President will give as a gift to Donald Trump in hopes that it will renew their fraternal brotherly romance.”

“And who’s he planning to use as a model?” Kali asked.

“The Egyptian goddess Isis who happens to live in Paris,” the housekeeper answered.

Kali thought to herself, “Why should Egyptian goddesses have all the fun?”.

She divinely teleported herself to Paris to the studio where Decameron was working.

And asked him to use her as a model.

Decameron agreed.

The painting went well except for the fact that the flaming torch the painter gave Kali was rather high and the ceiling of his friend’s studio was rather low.

In the resulting 10 alarm fire, goddess, painter and painting managed to escape to safety.

But all that Lexus Decameron could remember of the scene before the smoke detector fire alarm went off was the following:

But still he hoped that Emmanuel Macron and Donald Trump would like the painting.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday February 24th
2019.

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