Pan Goatee’s Music Video

November 11, 2013 at 9:06 am (Geopolitics and International Relations, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee’s Music Video



Pan Goatee decided to make a music video of his next round of torture and killings of Pakistani Taliban prisoners.


In this, he was assisted by CIA Agent Bob Belfor.


In the video, Pan Goatee was formally dressed in a suit and tux and bow tie and carrying a top hat and a cane.


As well as a large knife.


Pan Goatee (singing):   If you’re blue (pulls up a Taliban prisoner’s head he’s been holding under water) and you don’t know where to go to


why don’t you go to where fashion sits 

(sits the prisoner down on a chair of razor sharp spikes)

Puttin’ on the Ritz

(cuts off the prisoner’s finger and puts it on a Ritz cracker along with a slice of cheese and eats it)


Different types who wear a day coat pants 

with stripes and cutaway

coat perfect fits


(cuts off another Taliban prisoner’s arms and legs so he can fit into the boy sized day coat pants with stripes and cutaway coat that Bob Belfor is trying to fit him into)



Puttin’ on the Ritz

(cuts off another Taliban prisoner’s finger and puts it on a Ritz cracker with a slice of cheese and eats it)


Dressed up like a million-dollar trooper

(puts another Taliban prisoner into a large suitcase of U.S. money that totalled one million dollars and poured gasoline all over the money and the prisoner and set fire to it- since this was taxpayers’ money that the CIA had to burn)



Tryin’ hard to look like Gary Cooper (super dooper!)


(performs plastic surgery on another Taliban prisoner with his knife and without the use of anesthetic trying to see if he can get him to look like Gary Cooper but when he fails, he cuts off the man’s head and kicks it away in disgust)



Come let’s mix where Rockefellers

(glues a death mask of the late former U.S. Vice-President Nelson Rockefeller to another Taliban prisoner’s face)

walk with sticks

(cuts off the man’s legs and then glues sticks to his upper body)

or um-ber-ellas 

in their mitts

(cuts off the man’s hands and glues umbrellas to the arms of where they used to be and then tries to fit mitts on them)


Puttin’ on the Ritz 

(cuts off the finger of yet another Taliban prisoner and then puts it on a Ritz cracker with a slice of cheese and eats it)



Have you seen the well-to-do

on Park Avenue

On that famous thoroughfare

with their noses in the air…


(cuts off a whole bunch of Taliban prisoners’ noses and then juggles them in the air)


Camera closes in on Bob Belfor giving Pan Goatee a standing ovation for his new interpretation of the Fred Astaire-Taco song.








To be continued.





-A vampire novel chapter

 written by Christopher

 Monday November 11th 



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