Michelangelo’s Vision of A Future VISA Commercial

February 13, 2018 at 10:52 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, TV Commercials, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Michelangelo’s Vision of A Future VISA Commercial

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster and Dr. Cadbury Rocher were sitting in the Set Enterprises lab 🔬 watching the 2018 Winter Olympics from PyeongChang on TV.

Dr. Rocher once again found himself impressed with the VISA commercials for the Olympics that were magnificently narrated by the superlatively excellent speaking voice of the great actor Morgan Freeman.

His curiosity aroused, Dr. Rocher wondered what VISA commercials of the future might be like.

He asked Michelangelo to use his psychic lobster antennae and see if he could pick up a TV transmission from the future of a future VISA commercial.

Michelangelo raised his lobster antennae and sure enough was able to do so.

The TV commercial from the future showed a striking looking individual with massively hypnotic eyes being cheered by an ecstatically enthusiastic crowd.

Narrative Voice of Morgan Freeman:

VISA is pleased to announce the arrival of the Antichrist on planet Earth.
As we all know “that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name”, VISA recommends that you take the Mark of the Beast when you go down to your nearest financial institution or government licensing bureau to have your biometric ID VISA embedded microchip inserted in your right hand 🤚 or forehead (for those of you who lost your right hand in a physical altercation with a power saw).
The Mark of the Beast… with you… wherever you go…

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 13th
2018.

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Apollo and Belvedere In PyeongChang

February 11, 2018 at 11:59 pm (Fantasy, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Apollo and Belvedere In PyeongChang

The Greek god Apollo was attending the 2018 Winter Olympics in PyeongChang.

He was hoping to help bring peace to this troubled part of the world.

Ever since he was brought back from the dead last year, he felt that it was his mission to bring peace to this long-suffering world.

Belvedere the ghost of a ghost white salamander who was a reporter for the Times of London had discovered that Apollo was staying at a hotel in PyeongChang and decided to get an exclusive interview with the Greek deity.

A few weeks before in London when his editors found out that Belvedere knew nothing whatsoever about sports, they immediately assigned him to cover the PyeongChang Winter Olympics.

In Apollo’s room, Belvedere introduced himself.

Apollo agreed to the interview as the Olympian deity thought it might be kind of cool 😎 to be interviewed by the ghost of a ghost white salamander.

Of course Belvedere had not always been like that.

He had once been human having worked as a bartender on Wild West dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes’ Wild Tomatoes and Mushroom Saloon in the Wild West town of Hayden Colorado back in the 1880s.

He had been turned into a ghost white salamander by a time traveling enchantress.

And shortly afterwards, he was run over and killed by a caravan covered wagon heading west whereupon he became the ghost of a ghost white salamander.

Apollo gave Belvedere some of his own background – the background not covered in most classical mythology textbooks.

When the Temple of Apollo at Delphi was destroyed by the Emperor Theodosius the Great in 390 AD, Apollo became severely depressed.

So depressed in fact that he started having suicidal thoughts and of course being an immortal, it was rather difficult to commit suicide.

He happened to run into the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith and Apollo told her of his misery.

Lilith happened to have in her possession some poisoned Babylonian grapes 🍇 that were capable of killing an immortal so she gave Apollo some and he promptly died in the year 390 AD.

Apollo was buried on Mount Parnassus after his death and his tomb became lost to both god and man after a small quake shook Mount Parnassus.

Then in the year 2012 AD on the night of the summer solstice that year just after sundown, Apollo’s tomb on Mount Parnassus was discovered by the French archaeologist vampire Dr. Pompidou De Gaulle (whose archaeological expeditions were sponsored by the Egyptian vampiress Isis).

Apollo’s father Zeus thereupon came out of the shadows where he had been since his son’s death and tried to find somebody who could bring Apollo back from the dead.

Then in December 2016 Zeus met Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher and asked him if he could find an antidote to the poisonous Babylonian grapes 🍇 of Lilith and bring his son Apollo back from the dead.

In early January 2017, Dr. Rocher succeeded in bringing Apollo back from the dead.

Returned to life, Apollo thought it should be his mission to bring peace to the world- something difficult to do in a world where the likes of Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un were in power.

Making it even more difficult, Apollo’s brother Ares (the Greek god of war) was hopping back and forth between different spots on the planet sowing conflict and wars.

And Ares was doing it in earnest, very ticked off at the fact that his role in starting and trying to continue the First World War had been exposed in a movie 🎥 that came out last year- Wonder Woman with Gal Gadot.

Then in a further troubling development, Apollo’s brother Hephaestus (the Greek god of metalworking and the forge) had started building ballistic missiles for Kim Jong-un last year making for successful ballistic missile tests that ticked off Donald Trump and caused the latter to tweet even more than he did.

“So given this environment,” Belvedere scribbled with his ghostly pen in his ghostly notebook 📓, “how do you intend to bring peace to this region?”.

“Well,” Apollo poured some Red Bull energy drink into his glass of ambrosia, “I’ve met with Kwan Yin who is an immortal princess worshipped as the Buddhist Goddess of Mercy and compassion here in Asia and discussed my plans with her. In fact, Kwan Yin met with Kim Yo-jong the sister of Kim Jong-un in this very hotel last night.”

“I heard about that,” Belvedere chewed on his ghostly pen with his ghostly white salamander mouth, “Speaking of which, do you know anything about an attack that occurred in this hotel last night in which a satyr was bitten by a blue-eyed white wolf?”.

“No, I hadn’t heard about that,” Apollo sipped his ambrosia-Red Bull hybrid drink, “I didn’t know there were any satyrs left in the world since the death of Pan 2000 years ago.”

“I wonder if Dr. Cadbury Rocher has revived any,” Belvedere spilled ghostly blue ink all over his ghostly white suit.

At that moment, Apollo’s sister Artemis Diana entered the hotel room wearing a metallic short skirt and looking like Gal Gadot’s twin sister.

“Apollo dear,” Artemis spoke, “it’s Ares. He’s trying full blast to start a war between the Israelis and the Syrians.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday February 11th
2018.

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Hyung Grace Kwan Meets Kim Yo-jong

February 10, 2018 at 9:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Hyung Grace Kwan Meets Kim Yo-jong

South Korean vampire huntress and National Intelligence Service agent Hyung Grace Kwan (an ex-girlfriend of Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing) was meeting with Kim Yo-jong (the half-sister of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un) in her hotel room at the request of South Korean President Moon Jae-in.

Both women were dressed identically in white blouses, tight black skirts and black spiked stiletto high heeled shoes.

But despite their similar attire, neither woman seemed embarrassed by wearing a similar wardrobe.

When they had finished discussing what they had to discuss, Hyung Grace Kwan smiled over her cup ☕️ of tea and said, “I have a surprise for you.”

“Really?” Kim Yo-jong seemed intrigued.

Hyung walked to the door.

She opened it and in walked one of Hyung’s ancestresses the princess Kwan Yin who became an immortal and was in fact worshipped as the Buddhist mother goddess of compassion and mercy by various sects of Buddhists throughout Asia. She wore a beautiful pink coloured gown.

“Kwan Yin?” The officially atheist Kim Yo-jong looked surprised as she recognized the Buddhist mother goddess from oil paintings she had seen of her as a child, “You actually exist?”.

“Yes, my child, I do,” Kwan Yin smiled in motherly fashion.

Meanwhile in the hotel lobby, the DARPA contract assassin and genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was waiting to go up to the hotel room to assassinate Kim Yo-jong.

He had been ordered to do so by a higher-up in the American NSA.

He could have astral projected into her hotel room but there was some unknown supernatural power present in the hotel that was preventing him from doing so.

So he would have to wait for an opportune moment to break into the hotel room and then bump off the half-sister of Kim Jong-un.

As he waited in the hotel lobby, a contingent of North Korean 🇰🇵 female cheerleaders paraded through the lobby in their sharply attired red skirts and red spiked stiletto high heeled shoes 👠.

“How nice to see nothing but beautiful women,” Pan Goatee thought to himself, “Quite a change from North America particularly the city of Calgary where you seem to see nothing but fat ugly blimps particularly among females of that racial group that Neo-Nazis and Ku Klux Klansmen consider the master race.”

When the cheerleaders were escorted and locked into their particular hotel rooms by members of a North Korean security detail, Pan Goatee decided to go upstairs and break down the door to Kim Yo-jong’s room and assassinate her.

As he walked up the stairs in his Bermuda shorts showing off his hairy goat’s legs, unbeknownst to the satyr, he was being followed by a wolf pure white in colour.

The pure white wolf also had a unique colour of eyes- Mediterranean blue.

Pan Goatee used his mind’s psychic powers to direct a flying mallet to knock out all the members of the North Korean security detail in the hallway.

Coincidentally in the hotel’s elevators at the time, the elevator music being played was the musical melody to that old Beatles song Maxwell’s Silver Hammer 🔨.

Pan Goatee kicked down the door 🚪 of Kim Yo-jong’s hotel room startling the three women inside the room.

Pan Goatee was startled himself.

He had raised his machete to cut off the head of the woman wearing the North Korean 🇰🇵 flag lapel pin when he noticed she wasn’t ugly.

His superiors at DARPA had told Pan Goatee that Kim Yo-jong was ugly in hopes that would make it easier for him to kill the North Korean despot’s sister.

“Hey, you’re not ugly,” Pan Goatee stood there frozen.

At that moment, the white wolf with blue eyes leapt into the room and bit Pan Goatee on the arm.

“Ouch, that hurts!” Pan Goatee shouted for the satyr was not used to receiving a mortal wound of any sort.

The white wolf with blue eyes then looked at the three women, turned around and left the room.

“Who was that white wolf?” Kim Yo-jong asked as one of the North Korean Women’s Orchestras played Rossini’s William Tell Overture in the hotel’s main ballroom.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday February 10th
2018.

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Haiku About PyeongChang 2018 Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony

February 9, 2018 at 10:00 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Poetry, Sports) (, , , , , , , , )

Haiku About PyeongChang 2018 Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony

Winter games open
So who will come out on top?
Athletes or despot?

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