Dracul Van Helsing and The 84-Year-Old Kidnapping Mystery

May 18, 2017 at 4:03 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dracul Van Helsing had just received a text message from the Greek goddess Aphrodite.

She had gone to Pyongyang North Korea and convinced her husband Hephaestus to stop building missiles for Kim Jong-un.

He agreed.

The trouble was he had already built 666 missiles for Kim Jong-un.

And the missile of his that North Korea had launched this past weekend had been successful.

In addition, an ancient Persian talismanic image that had been painted on each missile (showing the image of a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull with the words IN HOC SIGNO VINCES above the image) seemed to ensure the missiles’ success.

Kim Jong-un had been instructed to paint the image and the accompanying Latin slogan on his missiles by a beautiful Korean vampiress who was a disciple of the Persian demonic god-prince Ahriman.

The Korean vampiress appeared wearing a white gown to Kim Jong-un and gave him his instructions.

She was known to Kim only as the Mysterious Woman In White.

Aphrodite’s information to Dracul had been confirmed in a report sent to him by his friend Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

Whitstable did not tell Van Helsing that the source for his information was Dracul’s ex-girlfriend the South Korean vampire huntress Hyung Grace Kwan (now an agent for the South Korean National Intelligence Service who was currently spying in North Korea).

Dracul decided to phone Whitstable to further discuss the report.

After rehashing what had been said in the original report, Whitstable said, “Oh Dracul, there’s something else.”

“What would that be?” Dracul asked.

“Kim Jong-un apparently has an advisor- an Englishman who was loaned to him from the People’s Republic of China,” Whitstable stated.

“An Englishman who used to work for the People’s Republic of China and now works for North Korea’s dictator?” Dracul was amazed, “Who is this Englishman?”.

“Do you recall reading in your history books about the kidnapping of Byron Jennings back in the early 1930s?” Whitstable inquired.

“That was the case referred to by the North American press at the time as Britain’s Charles Lindbergh Jr. Kidnapping,” Dracul recalled, “although Byron Jennings was considerably older than Charles Lindbergh Jr. Byron was the grandson of a leading member of the British House of Lords at the time Lord Oswald Jennings as well as the son of a not so leading British Conservative MP of the day Spencer Jennings. Rumour had it that Byron had been kidnapped by Mei-ling Manchu the real life daughter of the real life Fu Manchu.”

“That is correct, Dracul,” Whitstable acknowledged, “and that’s who is currently advising Kim Jong-un. None other than Byron Jennings who was kidnapped as an 8-year-old-boy 84 years ago.”

“Good lord,” said Dracul, “he must now be in his 90s.”

“He is,” Whitstable admitted, “but he doesn’t look it. He’s a vampire.”

“Really?” said Dracul, “Who turned him into a vampire?”.

“Mei-ling Manchu the daughter of Fu Manchu,” Whitstable answered, “who’s currently alive and Undead and well and living as a vampiress in Beijing.”

After talking with Whistable for a while longer, Dracul then telephoned Inspector Depp of Scotland Yard and told him to finally close the books on an 84-year-old kidnapping mystery.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 18th
2017.

Red Dress Mei-ling Manchu
Mei-ling Manchu becoming a vampiress after becoming a red dress Communist.

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Kim Jong-un’s Strange Dream

April 27, 2017 at 4:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un had had a busy day.

He spent part of it overseeing the executions of people he deemed his “enemies”.

That took more than half his day. Finally he had to leave the execution site and attend to his other chores.

The other part of the day he spent inspecting the milking of cows while he smiled benignly with dairy workers in photos taken and released to the international press to show the world what a nice happy go-lucky guy he was.

Kim did wonder though why it took North Korean Red Army soldiers pointing their guns at them to force the North Korean dairy workers to smile.

Of course those soldiers with pointed guns weren’t shown in the photos released to the international press.

Kim then went home to bed where he had another beautiful North Korean Red Army female soldier waiting for him to attend to his special needs.

Once again trying to raise a certain part of his anatomy went about as successfully as most of his missile launches.

What a pity.

He would have to have his beautiful female companion for this night executed.

He couldn’t risk stories about his poor bedroom performance leaking out.

Kim Jong-un then watched a video of his half-brother Kim Jong-nam keeling over in Kuala Lumpur International Airport and dying.

Laughing, he turned off the TV and then the lights and went to sleep.

He dreamed he was walking by the ruins of an ancient temple that locals called the “Red Basilica”.

A voice from the Red Basilica hearkened unto him.

“Enter,” said the voice.

He entered the temple and there above the ruined altar, he saw a vision magically appear above it.

The vision showed a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull.

Above the vision of a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull were these words, IN HOC SIGNO VINCES.

As Kim’s knowledge of Latin was non-existent, a voice after several moments spoke these words, “In this sign, conquer.”

Since Kim’s English wasn’t so great either, the voice then spoke the same words in Korean.

Kim stood there with a stupid looking expression on his face.

Finally a beautiful Korean woman in a white gown appeared over the altar and said, “It means, you idiot, you take this vision you saw of the scorpion attacking the white bull and you paint it on your missiles and they will rise and perform and do what it is that they’re supposed to do.”

“Oh,” Kim answered.

He then woke up.

He then phoned his missile launch center and told them to paint a picture of a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull and then place a painting of the image on each one of his missiles.

He hung up the phone.

He then wondered if he should get a Pyongyang tattoo artist to put a tattoo of the image (a scorpion attacking the testicles of a white bull) on a certain part of his anatomy and he might get a better performance out of it.

No, Kim shook his head.

He had a vision of a Korean George Costanza (the name of a character from the American TV show Seinfeld) saying to him, “That’s gotta hurt.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 27th
2017.

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Dulcinea Lucia and Kim Jong-un

January 7, 2016 at 7:34 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Dulcinea Lucia and Kim Jong-un

Gypsy fortune teller Dulcinea Lucia had a dream about the Far East as she lay in bed.

She dreamed she was in a theatre in Pyongyang the North Korean capital.

On stage suddenly appeared the North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un holding a microphone and dressed in a white tuxedo and doing the John Travolta Saturday Night Fever pose.

Behind Kim Jong-un, a map of America was projected on to the wall behind him.

Turning with his microphone towards the projected map of America, the North Korean dictator started to sing to the tune of the song Daisy A Day,

” I’ll give you an H-bomb a day, dear
I’ll give you an H-bomb a day
I’ll bomb you until the rivers run red
And the flesh off your dead bodies melts away…”

On the floor of the stage where the Hermit Kingdom’s psychopath-in-chief sang, a severed charcoal burnt Black Hand single handedly vigourously applauded with its fingers and thumb.

Dulcinea Lucia woke up screaming.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 6th
2016.

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