Qonzilqointec On 70th Anniversary of Roswell UFO Crash

July 7, 2017 at 6:50 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec On 70th Anniversary of Roswell UFO Crash

French UFO researcher Jacques Vallee was sipping cognac and reflecting on how it was 70 years ago today that a UFO flying saucer was said to have crashed on a ranch near the town of Roswell New Mexico.

Later the crashed vehicle was said to be just a downed weather balloon.

Although others had speculated that the crashed vehicle was a self-conscious self-aware Hoover vacuum cleaner that had a premonitory vision of the message implied in Richard Bach’s 1970s bestseller Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

Vallee didn’t know what to think about the incident.

ET better phone the nearest American Automobile Association Auto Club, was that what happened ? Vallee wondered.

His housekeeper entered the room to tell Vallee about two phone calls for him.

Mikhail Gorbachev was on Line 1 and Pope Francis was on Line 2.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was currently attending the G-20 Summit in Hamburg Germany.

As he munched on his Hamburg hamburger alongside German Chancellor Angela Merkel, he reflected on the huge gaffe he had made in Ottawa at last weekend’s Canada Day 150th Anniversary.

He had mentioned every province and territory in Canada in his Canada Day speech except the province of Alberta (the home of famous Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing).

When he left the stage and was informed of his gaffe, he came back and said, “I love you, Alberta” and blew a kiss at the TV cameras causing a wide-eyed teen-aged girl in the crowd (whose name was Alberta) to swoon and faint.

Trudeau’s failure to mention Alberta had angered some Albertans who still remembered Justin’s father Pierre Elliot Trudeau’s energy wars of the 1970s and early 1980s with then Alberta Premier Peter Lougheed over control of the province’s oil and natural gas resources.

Pierre Trudeau’s National Energy Program (NEP) had siphoned billions of dollars from Alberta’s provincial coffers into his own federal government’s treasury.

After bringing in the NEP and figuratively giving Albertans the finger, Pierre Trudeau then literally gave Albertans the finger while crossing through the Province’s Rocky Mountains by train.

Justin Trudeau’s neglect in mentioning Alberta by name at the Canada 150 celebrations in the Canadian nation’s capital of Ottawa struck some Albertans as the son’s equivalent of the father’s giving them the finger.

But really, Justin reflected, it was an accident.

An accident caused by the ET gray from Nibiru named Gali-Gula making funny faces at him while he was speaking.

Justin had promised to legalize marijuana during the 2015 Canadian federal election campaign- a promise which won him numerous seats in British Columbia’s Lower Mainland.

After winning the election, Justin started his own personal one man investigation into the after effects of smoking marijuana.

And whenever he smoked pot, those were the only times that Gali-Gula (the ET gray from Nibiru whose body was possessed by the ghost of the late earthling ancient Roman Emperor Caligula) appeared to him.

Justin had resolved not to smoke any pot ahead of the Canada 150 celebrations.

That way he wouldn’t be seeing Gali-Gula and he also wouldn’t anger the crowd by eating up all the hot dogs at the hot dog stand when he got the munchies.

The trouble was when he got up on the stage, some in the crowd were celebrating Canada’s 150th birthday by smoking pot themselves and Justin had the misfortune of inhaling much of the smoke.

So then Gali-Gula appeared to him just as he was about to mention Alberta by name.

Gali-Gula stuck two fingers in both his ears and then stuck his tongue out making a funny face at the Canadian Prime Minister.

This action on the ET gray’s part totally discombobulated Justin and he forgot to mention Alberta.

Later when Justin came back and said, “I love you, Alberta”, Gali-Gula decided to fly to Alberta and land on the UFO Flying Saucer landing pad in the town of Saint Paul, Alberta built in Canada’s centennial year of 1967.

Gali-Gula’s UFO driving narrowly missed making an omelette out of the world’s largest Ukrainian coloured Easter egg near the town of Vegreville, Alberta and narrowly missed making shredded duck out of the statue of the world’s largest duck outside the town of Andrew, Alberta.

“So,” Chancellor Angela said to Prime Minister Justin over his hamburger rousing him from his thoughts, “I said to Donald, either pee or get off the pot.”

. . .

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec walked the streets of Roswell New Mexico.

She wore a black dress in mourning for the lives lost at Roswell 70 years ago.

Her Samsung mobile phone rang.

She answered.

It was Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing phoning.

They chatted.

Suddenly Qonzilqointec could hear the sounds of gunfire coming from the other end of the phone.

“Dracul, what’s happening?” Qonzilqointec asked.

“Some assassins tried to shoot me,” Dracul answered, “but I shot and killed them first with my Uzi sub machine gun that was given to me as a gift by the host of the Israeli reality TV series Battle of The Rabbis: Orthodox vs. Reformed vs. Conservative vs. Golda’s Uncle’s Lox and Cream Cheese Bagel Worshiping Cult.”

“Who were the assassins?” Qonzilqointec asked, “Agents sent by an evil Transylvanian baron from his lair in the Carpathians?”.

“No,” Dracul replied, “They were operatives from the CPL.”

“CPL?” Qonzilqointec queried.

“The Calgary Public Library,” Dracul answered, “They claimed I forgot to return a book. But it wasn’t true. The only book I ever borrowed from them was an Archie comic book graphic novel called Afterlife With Archie about Jughead Jones leading a zombie apocalypse attack on the community of Riverdale. But I returned it. I even have a receipt slip showing that I did. But Calgary Public Library operatives’ instructions are to shoot first and ask questions later.”

“I see,” Qonzilqointec sighed sadly.

“So you’re at Roswell eh?” Dracul asked.

“Yes,” Qonzilqointec nodded, “wondering what happened here 70 years ago?”.

“Maybe some poor snook ET gray forgot to return a book to the Calgary Public Library so CPL operatives fired a surface-to-air missile that hit his craft just above Roswell New Mexico,” Dracul speculated.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday July 7th 2017.

Qonziqointec In Mourning For Roswell Crash Victims
The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec in mourning for the victims of the Roswell crash.

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Qonzilqointec, Dracul and The Dolphins

June 16, 2017 at 4:45 pm (Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec In Brighton

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was anxiously waiting for Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing in her Brighton seaside resort hotel.room.

When he entered, she turned swiftly around in her slit skirted peach evening dress and threw out her arms towards him, “Dracul.”

Dracul ran towards her.

They embraced.

Soon Dracul and the Aztec vampire princess were down on the elegant French style sofa making wild passionate love.

On the television in the next room, BBC News TV cameras were focused on the swearing-in of new Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds MP Renfield R. Renfield.

“Mr. Renfield, is it true that you’re the greatest lover in Britain?” A reporter asked Renfield.

“Yes, it is,” Renfield answered.

Meanwhile in Brighton, Qonzilqointec was having the mother of all orgasms.

Renfield turned to his parliamentary aide behind him, “I hate to lie on my first day in office. See what we can do about deporting Dracul Van Helsing out of the country.”

Later down on the Brighton beach, Qonzilqointec and Dracul were making love in the sand.

“Isn’t this what Olivia Newton John and John Travolta did in Grease?” Qonzilqointec moaned in ecstasy.

“I think it was Brylcreem rather than ordinary grease that Travolta used,” Dracul answered with the heaving and pounding of the waves on the beach that matched the heaving and pounding of vampire hunter and vampiress.

Soon as the waves surrounded them and Qonzilqointec shouted, “My God, I’ve never felt so wet,” a pod of dolphins surrounded them.

“Look,” said Qonzilqointec, “we have an audience.”

“Dolphins in Brighton,” Dracul said, “that doesn’t happen very often.”

“They’ve come to watch our lovemaking,” Qonzilqointec sighed

“Never thought I’d end up a High School Biology teacher for dolphins,” Dracul remarked.

And the show went on for hours.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday June 16th
2017.

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To Kill A Vampiress

May 27, 2017 at 3:39 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

The year was 1933.

And Canadian vampire hunter Joseph Van Helsing was in Mexico City.

He was a son of the Dutch physician Dr. Abraham Van Helsing who had slain Count Dracula.

Joseph had been born in England.

His father had settled there after investigating the Dracula-inspired deaths in England and later slaying Dracula in Transylvania.

Joseph had come over to Canada on a cattle ship back in 1912 (that same cattle ship would later be used to transport Canada’s famous World War I flying ace Billy Bishop over to war in Europe).

His wife Hilda (7 years his younger) had come to Canada in 1905 as a little girl.

She too had crossed the Atlantic on a famous ship- The Carpathia.

In 1912, The Carpathia became world famous for having been the sole ship in the North Atlantic to answer the distress call of a ship that had just hit an iceberg and was sinking- the RMS Titanic.

Joseph found it ironic that his wife had sailed to Canada on The Carpathia given that his father Abraham had slain the Carpathian Mountains’ most famous resident Count Dracula.

Joseph reflected on all this as he walked the streets of Mexico City.

He was here to slay a vampiress- an Aztec princess who had been born back in the 1400s.

The Mexican government had recently become concerned about the number of bloodless victims showing up on the streets of Mexico City.

It was bad for tourism.

So they had hired Joseph Van Helsing to slay the vampiress.

Having killed all the Mexican vampire hunters in the last government persecution of the Catholic Church in Mexico during the Cristero War of the late 1920s.

Joseph Van Helsing entered the apartment building where the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec resided.

He entered the living room and then he saw her.
Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec

He did not know that vampiresses could cast a reflection.

And what a beautiful reflection it was.

Almost as beautiful as the original.

He turned to leave.

“Wait,” she whispered, “Stay with me and be my love.”

“I can’t,” said Joseph, “I’m married.”

“Oh,” Qonzilqointec sighed, “maybe someday one of your descendants will.”

Joseph left and walked out into the night.

84 years later, Dracul Van Helsing walked out of the night and into his apartment.

He checked his phone messages.

“Call me,” a woman’s voice said seductively on one of the messages.

It was the voice of the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 27th
2017.

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The Vampire Set and Lindbergh’s Historic Flight To Paris

May 21, 2017 at 3:31 pm (History, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

90 years ago today.

May 21st 1927.

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was in Paris enjoying a bottle of champagne with Josephine Baker, Ernest Hemingway and the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

They were waiting to see if American pilot Charles Lindbergh would arrive in the city in his plane The Spirit of St. Louis and become the first person to fly solo non-stop across the Atlantic.

Twenty minutes after 10 PM on the evening of May 21st 1927, there slipped out of the darkness over the skies a gray white airplane.

At 10:24 PM The Spirit of St. Louis landed.

“Well, I made it,” said Lindbergh.

And the City of Paris went wild.

Lindbergh was carried by hand outside his plane.

Total mayhem among the crowd of 100,000 people who had gathered on the east side of Le Bourget Air Field.

“Paris probably hasn’t seen such excitement since the Armistice of 1918,” Hemingway remarked as he uncorked another bottle of champagne.

“I was being dug out of the prison of my ancient Egyptian tomb on Armistice Day in 1918,” Set recalled.

Both Josephine Baker and Ernest Hemingway laughed at Set’s remark.

Only the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec (being one of the living Undead herself) smiled sympathetically.

“Do you suppose Lindbergh will join us on this sidewalk cafe?” Josephine asked.

“I don’t know,” Hemingway shrugged, “did you invite him?”.

Everyone laughed.

“I wonder if anything else as exciting will happen this year?” Qonzilqointec mused philosophically.

On the other side of the Atlantic, singer and entertainer Al Jolson was sitting in a bar

He heard someone at one of the tables say, “You ain’t heard nothing yet.”

Jolson’s ears perked up.

That would make a great closing line for the new movie he was doing.

The world’s first talkie.

-A vampire novel chapter

written by Christopher

Sunday May 21st

2017.

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Mermaid Miranda’s Revelation Part 2

May 20, 2017 at 3:42 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

“The reason,” Miranda the mermaid looked at Nathan the Controller of the Golem, “that the mermaid goddess Atargatis wants to destroy Israel is because of her daughter Semiramis. Semiramis has formed an alliance with the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith who, of course, has always wanted to destroy Israel and the Jews because she claims that the Babylonian Talmud maligned and libeled her good name.”

“Yes, Lilith once poisoned my Scotch whisky with polonium-210 while I was sitting in a London pub,” Nathan recalled, “it was Set Enterprises’ resident mad scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher who saved my life with an antidote to polonium-210 that he invented.”

“I heard about that, Nathan,” Miranda looked at him sympathetically.

“But what caused Semiramis to form an alliance with Lilith?” Nathan asked.

“Her first husband Nimrod returned to Earth a few years ago aboard a UFO with a bunch of ET grays,” Miranda explained, “and the ship crashed near Tuktoyaktuk, Canada north of the Arctic Circle. Nimrod’s body was recovered and taken to a secret lab near Washington DC. Lilith stole Nimrod’s body and brought him back to life. Only the magic kiss Lilith used to bring Nimrod back to life went awry and the princely ruler of ancient Babel was turned into a little green frog. He now hangs out between the breasts of Lilith in her low-cut evening dresses.”

“Sounds like Nimrod has become every teen-aged boy’s fantasy come true,” Nathan thought aloud to himself.

“Is it every human teen boy’s fantasy to be like Kermit the Frog?” Miranda looked quizzically at Nathan.

“Um… no,” Nathan shook his head. “so I take it that Semiramis has formed an alliance with Lilith since Nimrod has become (ahem!) so close to Lilith.”

“That is correct,” Miranda nodded.

“And Atargatis in turn has naturally joined in alliance with her daughter Semiramis who’s aligned with Lilith,” Nathan was beginning to see the light.

The morning sun peered through the aquarium lab’s windows.

Meanwhile in Saudi Arabia, U.S. President Donald Trump had arrived with First Lady Melania Trump.
Donald and Melania Trump
Donald: I didn’t see any mermaids down in the desert sands of Saudi Arabia.

Melania: That’s probably because they’re swimming in the ocean.

Over in London, vampire hunter and MI-6 operative Dracul Van Helsing had received a phone call from Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

“Dracul,” Whitstable began, “I’ve been doing some research on the famous 17th Century Jesuit scholar Father Athanasius Kircher. He apparently had in his possession some ancient Greek mechanism that was the equivalent of our analogue computers.It also served as an orrery to predict astronomical positions and eclipses. But according to the diary entry of Father Kircher’s I’ve come across, the mechanism could also be used to locate mermaids. Sadly the mechanism disappeared on the night of Father Kircher’s death.”

“You know what, Peter,” Dracul leafed through the pages of his ancestor Captain Dante Van Helsing’s journal, “I have an idea where that mechanism is now.”

“Where?” Whitstable asked.

“It’s now called the Antikythera Mechanism and it’s to be found in the National Archaeological Museum in Athens, Greece.” Van Helsing answered.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 20th
2017.

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Mermaid Miranda’s Revelation

May 19, 2017 at 4:21 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The mermaid who called herself Miranda had once again awakened in the salt water tank in the Israeli government aquatics laboratory in Tel Aviv.

The Controller of the Golem (a Mossad agent who went by that code name) came down to see her.

“Nice to see you awake, Miranda,” the Controller brought her roses wondering if a mermaid would like them.

She did.

She smelled them and smiled.

“Thank you, Nathan,” she said once again calling him by his first name known to few outside Mossad or the Israeli Prime Minister’s office.

“You’re welcome,” Nathan smiled at her.

Then she turned serious, “I landed on the beach at Tel Aviv to warn you and your people.”

“Warn us about what?” Nathan asked.

“The goddess Atargatis ancestress of all mermaids wants to destroy your nation,” Miranda looked grim.

Nathan knew his classical Near Eastern mythology.

Atargatis was a northern Syria goddess.

She was called Derketo by the Greeks and Dea Syriae by the Romans.

The goddess Atargatis fell in love with a mortal (a shepherd) and had a child by him- Semiramis.

One cruel day, Atargatis unintentionally killed her love and the father of her child.

Ashamed, she flung herself into a lake near Ashkelon and was turned into the form of a fish but the waters could not conceal her divine beauty.Thereafter she took the form of a mermaid- human above the waist, fish below.

Atargatis’ daughter Semiramis became a legendary Assyrian queen and was said to have been married to the biblical Nimrod (founder of Babel) and later Ninus (founder of the city of Nineveh).

A 19th Century Free Church of Scotland minister Alexander Hislop had several wet dreams about Semiramis inspiring him to label the Roman Catholic Church the Whore of Babylon and to write a book about the subject called The Two Babylons.

Nathan’s thoughts of his Ph.D Program in Classical Mythology at Cambridge University returned to the present.

“Why,” Nathan asked Miranda, “does the mermaid goddess Atargatis want to destroy Israel?”.

. . .

U.S. President Donald Trump was flying en route to Saudi Arabia when he was handed an NSA report that certain mermaids were plotting to destroy Israel.

Trump was angry when he read the report.

“How,” Trump blew both his top and his toupee, “am I supposed to tweet about this? Especially after I just called former FBI director James Comey a real nut job? And especially in lieu of the fact that polls indicate that some Americans think I’m off my rocker myself?”.

. . .

Dracul Van Helsing was reading the journal of one of his 17th Century ancestors Captain Dante Van Helsing.

The journal had been found floating in a wooden chest on the Aegian Sea after his ancestor’s ship The Virgil went down on his final voyage.

The last entry said that Dante had been turned on by the sight of sirens singing on a rock.

When he neared the rock, a mermaid who called herself Thessalonike of Macedon appeared.

Dracul knew that according to history, Thessalonike of Macedon was the half-sister of Alexander the Great.

According to legend, Alexander had found the Fountain of Immortality and had filled a flask of water from it.

He washed his sister’s hair with the flask.

When Alexander died, his grief-stricken sister threw herself into the sea.

Instead of drowning, she became an immortal mermaid.

When she encountered sailors, she always asked them the same question, “Is Alexander the king alive?”.

The correct answer in her opinion would be, “He lives and reigns and conquers the world.”

If given this answer, she would allow the crew and their ship to sail safely away in calm seas.

Any other answer would send her into a rage and she’d cause the waves to send the ship and every sailor on board to the bottom.

The journal entry ended with Dante saying that Thessalonike had just appeared.

Obviously Dante’s answer of Thessalonike’s question was not to her liking.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 19th
2017.

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Captain Dante Van Helsing and Qonzilqointec

May 17, 2017 at 4:08 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The date was May 17th 1687.

And the notorious pirate Captain Dante Van Helsing (an ancestor of Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing) was far from his home town of Amsterdam.

He was sailing the Caribbean which was his favourite sea for piracy.

Captain Dante Van Helsing had formed an alliance with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

She was anxious to see Spanish ships raided and sunk as vengeance for the Spanish conquering her Aztec Empire in Mexico.

Captain Dante Van Helsing did these raids on Spanish ships gladly.

And Qonzilqointec would pay Dante back in her bedroom at night.

But then another pirate came into the Caribbean.

A pirate who sailed a Chinese junk ship and called himself Wo Fat.

But despite dressing and looking the part of a Chinese pirate, the individual was really an Englishman and a defrocked Jesuit priest named Alfred Loisy George Tyrrell.

He was defrocked for claiming that Antipope John XXIII (who was himself the notorious pirate Baldassarre Cossa in his early life) who reigned from 1410 to 1415 was in fact a true Pope.

Wo Fat (as he now called himself) after being kicked out of the Jesuit order stole an ancient Greek analogue computer and orrery that was in the possession of one of his Jesuit confreres Father Athanasius Kircher.

He stole the mechanism from Father Kircher’s room on the evening of the latter’s death on November 28th 1680.

Wo Fat used the device to navigate and determine the position of the ships that he raided.

Qonzilqointec spotted the device while flying around as a vampire bat on his ship one night.

She alerted Captain Dante Van Helsing to the existence of the device..

Van Helsing said, “I must have it.”

So Qonzilqointec flew on to Wo Fat’s ship The Albatross and promptly changed from a bat into her alluring vampiric female form.

She brought several good bottles of coconut rum lifted to her from a row boat rowed by Dante.

She went into Wo Fat’s cabin,

After plying him with several goblets of coconut rum and rubbing his bald head against her magnificent bosom

Qonzilqointec With Wo Fat

…. Wo Fat fell asleep.

Whereupon Qonzilqointec stole the device.

She then gave it to Captain Dante Van Helsing on the night of May 17th 1687.

Van Helsing returned home to Amsterdam where he was forced by his parents to marry a good Dutch girl.

“No more running around with these exotic foreign women,” his father had said to him.

So Dante Van Helsing married, settled down, became a maker of Dutch wooden shoes and had four children.

Finally bored to tears, he decided to make one more voyage.

This time to the Aegean Sea.

While there, he encountered a group of alluring looking sirens on a rock near the Greek island of Antikythera.

His ship The Virgil sank.

And went down to the bottom of the sea alongside an earlier Roman era shipwreck.

The Virgil was torn apart by mermaids.

Only Dante’s mysterious mechanism (that Qonzilqointec had pirated away from the pseudo-Chinese pirate Wo Fat) was left behind.

The mechanism was recovered on May 17th 1902.

– A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 17th
2017.

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Qonzilqointec and Quetzalcoatl On Cinqo de Mayo

May 5, 2017 at 4:34 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec
The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec: Now living life as a blonde

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec had recently dyed her hair blonde.

She was waiting by the door to go out with her spiritual godfather the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl to attend Cinqo de Mayo celebrations.

Quetzalcoatl came down the stairs having given up on finding a tuxedo and tie that would fit him.

“Let’s go,” he said.

He did grab a giant top hat and a giant cane and wore them.

Later at the Cinqo de Mayo celebrations in Mexico City, Quetzalcoatl was pissed off to see more representations of some figure called Santa Muerte (Saint Death) rather than himself Quetzalcoatl.

“Who is this Santa Muerte?” Quetzalcoatl bitterly asked Qonzilqointec.

“She’s the patron Saint of drug dealers,” Qonzilqointec replied.

“I’m starting to feel some sympathy for Donald Trump at the moment, ” Quetzalcoatl remarked in anger.

Qonzilqointec heard shouts from the crowd, “Look, it’s a guy… some drag queen… dressed as Santa Muerte.”

The drag queen Santa Muerte looked familiar so Qonzilqointec took his/her picture with her smart phone and posted it on her Facebook page.

In Kiev, Ukraine where the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith had recently taken up residence, she happened to notice Qonzilqointec’s photo of the drag queen Santa Muerte.

“It’s my castrated ex-consort the archangel Samael,” Lilith gasped.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 5th
2017.

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Orson Welles, Donald Trump and Dracul Van Helsing

March 28, 2017 at 4:14 pm (Culture, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The year was 1946 and actress Rita Hayworth was filming the movie Gilda with her co-star Glenn Ford.

She returned home to her husband Orson Welles only to see a mysterious entity de-materialize in front of her.

Sol Invictus Set De-materializing

“Who was that who just disappeared outside the door?” Rita asked Orson as she kissed him on the cheek.

“That was that London-based billionaire Mr. Sol Invictus Set who had asked me to direct a film for him,” Orson replied.

“Well, he certainly got the Hell out of here,” Rita quipped.

“I should say so,” Orson poured himself a glass of whisky and soda, “Hell is definitely where he belongs. He wanted me to write and direct a film about Hitler.”

“The subject material would certainly catch the attention of the world,” Rita poured herself a glass of milk.

“But he wanted it to be a film expressing admiration for Hitler,” Welles’ eyes flashed anger.

“Well, then you were wise telling him where to go,” Rita kissed him again.

Welles softened, “Thanks, Rita.”

Rita was thoughtful, “You seem to have a habit of offending billionaires, Orson. First William Randolph Hearst and now this Sol Invictus Set. I hope this doesn’t cost you.”

“Cost me? How?” Welles looked quizzically at his wife.

“I hope Hollywood doesn’t decide to blacklist you,” Rita looked almost clairvoyant, “turn down your ideas for making films. Europe would probably be more accepting of a genius such as yourself. But it would be a shame if America turned its back on supporting your artistic excellence.”

For once in his life, Welles was speechless.

. . .

U.S. President Donald Trump was sitting at his desk in the Oval Office wondering how he’d be able to use the Mary Poppins word Supercalifranchilisticexpealidocious in a tweet and still be able to make a profound statement.

The phone rang.

Trump picked it up.

“Hello?” Trump ran a radioactive monitoring comb through his hair.

“Hello, Dad, it’s me,” it was his daughter Ivanka, “you had called me earlier while I was busy chatting with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.”

“Yes, it was your closeness to Justin Trudeau that I was wanting to talk to you about,” Trump explained, “I was listening to a radio program about the paranormal on the radio last night featuring some former Canadian cabinet minister- some guy called Paul Hellyer. Anyways Paul Hellyer was saying that Justin Trudeau is in close contact with an ET gray from the planet Nibiru – some alien chap by the name of Gali-Gula whose ET body is supposedly possessed by the spirit of the ancient Roman Emperor Caligula. I was wondering if you could phone Prime Minister Trudeau for me and ask him if this is true.”

“But Dad, why don’t you just phone him yourself?” Ivanka asked.

“Yes, but as you know somebody has been leaking all the phone conversations I’ve been having with world leaders. If that one gets leaked, especially in lieu of the unusual subject matter, there may be some among the American people who’ll start to think I’m nuts,” Trump was shocked by the high level of radioactivity in his hair when he looked at his comb monitor.

“All right, Dad, I’ll call him,” Ivanka put her mobile phone down, smoothed her skirt and then speed dialed Justin Trudeau’s number.

. . .

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec and Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing were making love in a gondola on a canal in Venice.

“In Venice, veni, vidi, vici,” Dracul said as he collapsed in Qonzilqointec’s arms and even though he was a non-smoker, he longed for a cigarette for some reason.

“In Venice, you came, you saw, you conquered,” Qonzilqointec sighed in ecstasy.

He certainly came all right.

Qonzilqointec thought maybe she really should have taken her dress completely off.

She lit a cigarette and wondered what dry cleaner Monica Lewinsky used on her blue dress.

“We’re here at the house of the masked ball,” the gondolier announced.

“Who puts on a masked ball during Lent?” Qonzilqointec asked, “aren’t carnival masquerade balls supposed to happen before Lent?”.

“Welcome,” the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Sol Invictus Set materialized before the door.

Sol Invictus Set Re-materializing

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 28th
2017.

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Abe Lincoln’s and Jefferson Davis’ Ghosts In Vatican

March 20, 2017 at 3:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

The ghostly figure in the top hat looked around.

He didn’t recognize the place.

But President Lincoln knew he was back on Earth.

A place he hadn’t been in some 152 years.

Lincoln looked and saw another ghostly figure approaching.

He recognized it as the ghost of his arch enemy Jefferson Finis Davis the President of the Confederate States of America.

As Lincoln saw Davis’ specter approach, he reflected on something he often felt when he looked at Davis’ photos when alive, “It’s like looking into a mirror and seeing oneself reflected- the reflection of one’s dark side.”

Abraham Lincoln Jefferson Davis

“Is this some sort of cosmic joke you’re playing, Abe?” Jefferson Davis asked, “Rubbing salt into the wounds of the defeated Confederacy?”.

“I have nothing to do with this,” Lincoln answered, “I thought this was some sort of black magic conjured up on a soulless run plantation in the Deep South.”

The spirits of both men remained silent as sudden strong gusts of wind came up and dark clouds blew over the gardens where they were standing.

Pope Francis and a group of Cardinals walked by and through the spirits of the two men.

“I think we’re probably in the Vatican in Rome,” Abe Lincoln finally spoke.

“I’d have to agree,” Jefferson Davis answered.

From one of the rooms overlooking the Vatican gardens, two intruders looked down- two intruders who could see the ghosts of Abraham Lincoln and Jefferson Davis.

The intruders were Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

“Who do you think summoned the ghosts of Abe Lincoln and Jefferson Davis to the Vatican?” Whitstable asked Van Helsing.

“Probably someone who hasn’t read the Biblical account of what happened when the Witch of Endor managed to actually summon Samuel’s spirit from the realm of the dead for King Saul of Israel,” Van Helsing answered.

“And who might that be?” Whitstable inquired.

“Most likely a Vatican Cardinal,” Van Helsing answered.

“Probably Cardinal JM,” Whitstable raised the ancient grimoire volume of necromancy he held in his hands- a volume whose autographed inscription read, “To Cardinal JM my personal favourite amongst all my devotees in the Vatican Curia of Cardinals, yours with love, Hecate, Hellenic goddess of witchcraft, sorcery and necromancy.”

“Undoubtedly,” Van Helsing nodded.

Whitstable’s wiretap sounded an alarm.

“Who is that?” Van Helsing asked.

“It’s George Soros text messaging Pope Francis,” Whitstable replied.

Van Helsing’s own Samsung Galaxy 7 smart phone went off.

“Who is that?” Whitstable asked.

“The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec,” Van Helsing replied.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 20th
2017.

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