Qonzilqointec and Set Vs. Horus and Soros

July 1, 2020 at 10:31 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )


The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec crossing a street in London

Seconds after crossing the street, a multiple vehicle pile up was reported on that same London street as over 40 vehicles had rear ended and fender bendered one another.

UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson was 3 hours late for his massage appointment at Lulu’s Massage Parlour.

Qonzilqointec hailed a taxi on another street where she was driven to the London mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set to discuss George Soros’ $33 million funding of the Black Lives Matter Organization.

The Black Lives Matter Organization (as opposed to the Black Lives Matter Movement which was a hashtag social media collective) had been founded back in 2013 by 3 lesbians who were all Communists and had as their own personal herione a black woman who had shot and killed a New Jersey state trooper back in the early 1970s and then escaped from prison in 1979 to flee to Cuba where she had been living the high life in Havana the capital of the Castros’ Communist regime ever since.

On their About page, the Black Lives Matter Organization listed as one of their goals “the abolition of fatherhood and the nuclear family” and all children were to be raised by the state.

Transvestite blacks would also be given a special place of privilege in the global Marxist New Order that the Black Lives Matter Organization foresaw.

If only the great 1960s and 1970s comedian Flip Wilson and his TV character alter ego Geraldine had lived to see this.

“You recently discovered some information about Soros?” Qonzilqointec asked Set.

“He’s apparently formed an alliance with my nephew Horus,” Set sipped his tea.

“Really,” Qonzilqointec was not surprised.

“I understand Aleister Crowley who’s busy roasting away on his barbeque spit down in Tartarus is quite happy at the news,” Set helped himself to some barbeque spare ribs.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 1st
2020

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Qonzilqointec In Stockholm

May 31, 2020 at 10:52 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Qonzilqointec In Stockholm

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was walking the streets of Stockholm Sweden.

She was protected by Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s Sunblock For Vampiresses on her skin which prevented her from being quite literally burnt to a crisp on a sunny Stockholm afternoon on the last day of May 2020.

Sweden (the birthplace of Scandinavian social democracy) had not instituted a lockdown during the pandemic.

And while its Covid-19 death rate of 319 deaths per million was far higher than lockdown Norway’s death rate of 40 per million and lockdown Denmark’s death rate of 91 per million, Sweden’s death rate was still lower than that of extreme lockdown Italy, extreme lockdown Spain and the extreme lockdown United Kingdom.

This naturally upset the leftist news media throughout the world as well as numerous U.S. Democratic Party politicians in the U.S. who were hoping that locking multitudes of people in their homes and forbidding them to attend public worship services would bring about the necessary spiritual conditions for the Antichrist to emerge on the world stage and finally proclaim the New World Order (for which George Soros, Bill Gates and Pope Francis had thanklessly worked their asses off the past few years).

Qonzilqointec was in Sweden because the Set Enterprises intelligence network had heard that representatives of the Communist Chinese government in Beijing and representatives of the Havana based Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike were meeting in Stockholm.

China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping and the Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike had joined forces to finance the rioting and looting part of the protests in U.S. cities over the Minneapolis murder of Afro-American George Floyd by white policeman Derek Chauvin.

It was advantageous to Xi to have mass violent protests in the U.S. so he could crush Hong Hong autonomy and maybe even invade Taiwan and forcibly make both integral parts of the Chinese Communist state while Donald Trump was preoccupied with domestic unrest in America.

And who knows maybe invade and annex other countries in Asia after that.

You probably wouldn’t want to tell this to Xi Jinping’s face but he seemed to be very much turning into a Chinese version of Japan’s Hideki Tojo (the militaristic Prime Minister of Japan during the Second World War).

As for Robur Pike, he was a genetic clone of Confederate Brigadier Gen. and Supreme Scottish Rite Freemasonic leader Albert Pike.

Robur Pike had been genetically cloned in a laboratory in Knoxville, Tennessee back in 1966 by Dr. Eckhart Fromm a Nazi scientist brought to the United States in Operation Paperclip.

Fromm had cloned Robur Pike from locks of hair belonging to Albert Pike.

Fromm died in a parachuting accident a few months later so his knowledge of genetic cloning was lost.

It was only Bill Clinton’s decision in the 1990s to spend trillions of dollars to map the human genome that would finally allow today’s scientists to accumulate the knowledge of genetic cloning that Dr. Eckhart Fromm had in his mind.

Robur Pike, like Charles Manson of mass murdering hippy fame, longed for a race war in the U.S.

Thus Pike and Xi had formed a mutual alliance and were funding white supremacists and Antifa members to travel throughout American cities and riot, loot and burn ostensibly to honour the memory of homicide victim George Floyd.

Xi’s and Pike’s representatives were meeting in neutral Stockholm.

Qonzilqointec approached the Stockholm restaurant where the two sides were meeting.

A leprechaun on a bicycle outside the restaurant handed her the crossbow and arrow that belonged to the Celtic stag god Cernunnos.

Qonzilqointec entered the restaurant and shot the representatives of both sides- Chinese Communist and Neo-Nazi.

The waiter had just arrived with their order- a special request order of Sweet and Sour Swedish meatballs.

Unfortunately both sides were now too dead to enjoy it.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 31st 
2020.

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Coronavirus Panic, Gnostic God Abraxas, Qonzilqointec, Ho Babylon Minh and The Pascal Sacrifice On Mount Moriah

March 4, 2020 at 11:55 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Coronavirus Panic, Gnostic God Abraxas, Qonzilqointec, Ho Babylon Minh and The Pascal Lamb Sacrifice On Mount Moriah

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec living as a vampiric immortal isn’t worried about contracting the Coronavirus

The same was not true of the state of California where after only one death, the governor had declared a State of Emergency over the Coronavirus.

Outside a COSTCO store in the State of California, a long line up of people were waiting to rush in to buy emergency food supplies and prepping items as well as surgical face masks and bottles of hand sanitizer (even though the latter items had already been sold out).

A man dressed in American Revolutionary War era attire and riding a horse was going throughout the huge COSTCO parking lot and shouting in Paul Revere like fashion, “The Coronavirus is coming. The Coronavirus is coming.”

On a nearby city street, a woman dressed in a chicken costume with what appeared to be a small cloud encircling her chicken head was busy shouting, “The Coronavirus is falling. The Coronavirus is falling.”

Inside the COSTCO store, angered customers were shouting over the fact that all surgical face masks had been sold out and by their attitude were thus totally ignoring the U.S. Surgeon-General’s recent request that the U.S. general public refrain from buying surgical face masks.

At the cigarette counter, there were long line ups of people waiting to buy cigarettes thus totally ignoring a U.S. Surgeon-General’s report from the early 1960s that smoking cigarettes can cause lung cancer.

Meanwhile back in the surgical face mask aisle, the store manager announced that there was a supply of Halloween face masks that had been found and were now available in the Toy Department.

The manager was trampled and killed in the subsequent rush over to the Toy Department.

Two women eventually got into a huge fight over the last Halloween mask available -an Al Gore mask from the year 2000 with a Made In Florida dangling chad hanging from his mouth.

Meanwhile at the Vatican, Pope Francis was calling for algor-ethics at a Vatican Conference On Ethics In Algorithms and The Future of AI (Artificial Intelligence).

Speeding down a California freeway while being chased by a group of sinister government Men In Black was a Japanese female sex robot called Akira who was totally ignoring Pope Francis’ call for algor-ethics as she put a spiked high-heeled pedal to the metal and hit the gas on her huge carbon emissions polluting hummer.

Her front seat partner – a man called Paul- who was dressed up the way Jesus of Nazareth might look in a church Easter Passion play- was desperately reading a book called Re-Imagining Mind Control For Dummies.

In the back seat, a professorial looking type (who was really an ET from outer space) named Lassetter was taking huge swigs from a phallus shaped bottle of whisky.
Sitting next to him was an Afghan War vet named Billy-Bob who was coming down with a severe case of PTSD while looking at the stock market trading app on his smartphone and seeing how bad the market was falling and share prices were diving over the latest Coronavirus fears.

Watching comfortably the highway car chase on television in his living room at home was America’s leading (and only) Irish Jewish science-fiction writer of note – George Finneganburg.

Said an astounded George Finneganburg, “My Sci-Fi novel is really quite literally coming to life in this particular California car chase.”

. . .

Standing in front of a statue of Baphomet whose feet were covered by aborted babies, Senate Minority leader Sen. Chuck Schumer of New York threatened U.S. Supreme Court Justices Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh if they upheld a pro-life law from Louisiana.

“I want to tell you, Gorsuch, I want to tell you, Kavanaugh, you have released the whirlwind and you will pay the price,” Schumer thundered into the microphone as bats, locusts and scorpions flew out of his mouth while he spoke.

The ghost of Adolf Eichmann (dispensatationally released from Tartarus at the requests of the demons Baal and Baphomet) applauded in the background.

. . .

Meanwhile on Mount Moriah (also known as the Temple Mount) the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith (who was also known as the Lady Moriah) was directing a whirlwind to blow around the Mount.

A few weeks earlier the ancient gnostic god Abraxas (who had the head of a rooster, the arms and torso of a man, and the legs were two slithering serpents) had approached some Kabbalistic rabbis who belonged to the 21st Century Sanhedrin and told them to sacrifice a paschal lamb at an altar on the Temple Mount for Passover this year for the first time in 2000 years.

“To sacrifice a paschal lamb now will show that the imposter so-called Christ Jesus of Nazareth was not the Paschal Lamb sacrificed for all time,” Abraxas told the cheering rabbis.

A request for a permit from the Israeli government to perform the ceremony was then asked by the Sanhedrin.

Today at the Vatican, the gnostic god Abraxas appeared to the Communist and homosexual predatory Cardinals who now ran the Vatican under Pope Francis and told them his idea.

The pro-Francis group of Cardinals applauded since they didn’t really believe that Jesus of Nazareth was truly God Incarnate in the flesh never mind being the ultimate and final Paschal Lamb sacrifice for sin.

. . .

Now sporting blue hair, the Vietnamese vampiress and notably unique Shakespearian actress Ho Babylon Minh who would be playing a voodoo queen in a New Orleans style zombie and voodoo themed adaptation of Shakespeare’s MacBeth slated for tonight at the Pantages Theatre (directed by the ghost of Orson Welles) showed up in her car outside the doors of the theatre.

On his way into the show for tonight’s performance, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was asked about yesterday’s Super Tuesday primary in the U.S.

“Does this mean the end of Trotskyite Marxist Bernie Sander’s Presidential aspirations?” A member of the Press asked the MP.

“Well,” Renfield replied as he carried a silver handled walking stick, “Given the fact that we are all living in extremely surreal times (surreal as in a Salvador Dali painting of Australia’s infamous Uncle Ernie dressed as Cleopatra and embracing a giant asp), we must realize anything can happen. Bernie Sanders not only winning the Democratic nomination but winning the Presidency. In these surreal times, expect the Unexpected.”

Renfield kicked a snake with a rooster’s head out of the way as he entered the theatre.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 4th
2020.

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Qonzilqointec Takes In Carmen At The Royal Opera House

February 4, 2020 at 11:59 pm (Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic romance, International Intrigue, love, Music, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec Takes In Carmen At The Royal Opera House

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was in London.

She was to meet her date Dracul Van Helsing this evening to attend the Royal Opera House performance of Georges Bizet’s Carmen.

Interestingly enough, the Bavarian and Austro-Hungarian goat demon Krampus (who had been down in Cornwall visiting his father’s grave) had had tickets to attend this evening’s performance of Carmen.

But at the last minute, the goat demon had come down with a severe allergy to the melody and tune of the song Habanera that Carmen sings in Act 1.

And that was his favourite part of the whole opera so Krampus was unable to attend.

He left his ticket at the box office so some last minute person could buy it.

The ticket was purchased by Dr. Cadbury Rocher who had just finished his final touches on the cannabis pot smoking cactus plant Magical Mystery Tour that was to be delivered to Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau in Ottawa.

Qonzilqointec and Dracul talked to Dr. Rocher in the lobby prior to curtain call.

They discussed the Iowa caucus which turned out to be a public relations disaster for the U.S. Democratic Party.

The app that was supposed to give the results to the State Committee had failed.

“I was just talking to Renfield about this,” Dr. Rocher said to the Aztec vampiress and Van Helsing referring to the British MP who served on the UK House of Commons Intelligence and Foreign Affairs Committee, “and he’s already determined what happened. Apparently the app was hacked by the billionaire Egyptian vampire Set’s pet cat Nefertiti Galore, Boris Johnson’s pet Jack Russell-cross dog Dilyn and a couple of Her Majesty the Queen’s Welsh corgis.”

“Who did the Iowa Democrats get to develop this app for them?” Dracul inquired.

“Apparently some nutty Australian who calls himself Uncle Ernie,” Rocher replied, “who interestingly enough was arrested at London’s Heathrow Airport yesterday for trying to enter the country illegally. To say nothing of showing up at airport Customs in the nude.”

The Royal Opera House announcer announced that this evening’s performance would start in 5 minutes.

The three headed into the auditorium to take their seats.

Krampus who was listening to the performance on the radio while taking a bath in his hotel room broke into a severe case of hives when the lead female singer playing Carmen started singing Habanera.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 4th
2020

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False Prophets, Peace Deals, Pachamama and Sensuous Qonzilqointec

January 28, 2020 at 11:48 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

False Prophets, Peace Deals, Pachamama and Sensuous Qonzilqointec

A group of Jesuit assassins at the Vatican sat around drinking strawberry daiquiris and Pink Lady cocktails as they waited for their pink fingernail polish to dry before going out for a night on the town.

They were tuned in to BBC Radio where British MP Renfield R. Renfield was being interviewed.

The interviewer was asking Renfield about Uruguayan priest Father Gonzalo Aemilius whom Pope Francis had just named his new personal secretary.

“Well of course Father Gonzalo doesn’t dress like a priest,” Renfield noted, “and he’s someone who’s got the looks of a tennis instructor who would be hired by bored sexually frustrated middle-aged wealthy women who were looking for tennis and other types of encounters.”

“So what are you saying exactly?” The interviewer asked.

“Expect to see a lot of late night stenography sessions going on in the papal residence at the Vatican,” Renfield answered.

“What do we know about Father Gonzalo Aemilius?” The interviewer inquired.

“Well, he replaces the Argentine priest Father Fabian (sounds like the name of a Harlequin historical romance novel cover shirtless and topless male model) Pedacchio who worked alongside the Pope from 2013 to 2019 and who returned last December to his original post at the Congregation of Bishops. Of course Father Fabian Pedacchio just turned 55 last year and as my Welsh parliamentary colleague Morgana’s personal hairdresser Leo noted, “He’s a man who’s really lost his looks the past couple of years.” Now Father Pedacchio is being replaced by Father Gonzalo Aemilius who’s a “rugged handsome 40-year-old” to again quote my Welsh parliamentary colleague Morgana’s personal hairdresser Leo. ”

“Anything else about Father Gonzalo Aemilius?” The interviewer queried.

“Well, I’ll read you what the official Vatican News agency said about his appointment,” Renfield replied.

Renfield then read the excerpt in a voice that sounded like a cross between Hollywood Squares celebrity panelist Paul Lynde and American writer Truman Capote, “Father Aemilius was born in Montevideo on 18th September 1979 and was ordained a priest on 6th May 2006. His face may be familiar to many because he is the one, who the Pope greeted and summoned to him when he was part of the crowd gathered outside a Vatican gate to welcome Pope Francis at the beginning of his pontificate on the morning of 17th March 2013. He recognized him and invited him to accompany him into the church where he was about to celebrate his first Mass with the faithful after his election. At the end of the liturgy, Pope Francis introduced Father Aemilius to all those present, asking them to pray for him and for his work with street children.”

The phone rang in the office of the Jesuit assassins.

It was the Jesuit assassin whose fingernail polish had fully dried who picked up the phone.

“It’s the boss,” said the Jesuit assassin, “He wants to know who will rid him of this troublesome British MP.”

. . .

At the White House today, U.S. President Donald Trump stood alongside Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and announced the Jared Kushner Peace Deal of the Century.

The map of the new Palestinian state that Trump proposed seemed to resemble a salamander.

The sort of salamander as on a 19th Century U.S. Congressional District map that gave rise to the term gerrymandering.

Interestingly enough at about the same time as Trump made his announcement, Hades the Greek god of the Underworld had granted temporary dispensational releases from his realm to the ghosts of Israel’s King Solomon, Hiram the King of Tyre and also Hiram Abiff the architect and master mason (who had once been possessed by the spirit of the Egyptian god Osiris) who had helped build Solomon’s original Temple in Jerusalem.

. . .

In the Caribbean, the scarlet red dress wearing Inca goddess Pachamama riding a 7-headed beast had caused a powerful 7.7 magnitude earthquake that hit between Jamaica, the Cayman Islands and Cuba at a depth of 10 kilometres (6.2 miles).

. . .

Meanwhile in her apartment in Mexico City, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec greeted Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing as he walked through the door:

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 28th
2020.

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Qonzilqointec On A December Night In The British Capital

December 12, 2019 at 11:14 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Qonzilqointec On A December Night In The British Capital

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was staying overnight at a hotel in London.

She had spent the past few weeks in Austria.

Soon she would be flying back home to Mexico City.

Early this morning she had woken up in her sleep to discover that locks of her dark hair were being painted golden blonde by someone.

She turned the light on and thought she saw a small teddy bear running away.

She was unable to book an appointment with a hairstylist to get her locks coloured back to her natural colour as most people were booking appointments at this time of year to look their best for Christmas parties.

So Qonzilqointec was attending a 
small Christmas party with locks of her hair still coloured a golden blonde.

The Aztec vampiress watched as the Australian High Commissioner to London approached her.

“Did you take a look out the window?” The Commissioner asked her, “There seems to be a white wolf with blue eyes and a black jaguar with silver eyes circling around the building.”

“Well, then this building is secure and well protected then,” Qonzilqointec smiled.

“I’ve heard reports from various British government sources that Prince Andrew the Duke of York was recently bitten by a white wolf with blue eyes and scratched by a black jaguar with silver eyes,” the Australian High Commissioner noted, “that’s why the Prince hasn’t been seen in public lately.”

“I thought it was to avoid lawyers’ subpoenas,” Qonzilqointec finished her drink.

“That too probably,” the High Commissioner acknowledged.

Qonzilqointec looked out the window and noticed the blue-eyed white wolf and silver-eyed black jaguar circling the building.

She left the small gathering and joined the two animals outside.

The three walked back to Qonzilqointec’s hotel.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Thursday December 12th
2019.

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Canada’s Throne Speech and Krampus Carries Off Vienna’s Cardinal Schonborn

December 5, 2019 at 11:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Canada’s Throne Speech and Krampus Carries Off Vienna’s Cardinal Schonborn

“So,” Amadeus asked his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield, “Did you hear that after Justin Trudeau had finished making fun of Donald Trump at the Buckingham Palace reception the other night, he grabbed a box of opium laced catnip, came out to the Set Estate, gave the opium laced catnip to the Boss’ guard and watch cat Nefertiti Galore to send her off to La-La-Land and then proceeded to engage in mystical communion with the pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever?”.

“I heard that,” Renfield acknowledged after he watched the garbage men sanitation engineers getting high after emptying the garbage cans containing Nefertiti Galore’s cat litter.

“I assume that Justin then probably met his alien friend Gali-Gula the ET gray from Planet Nibiru who’s possessed by the spirit of the ancient Roman Emperor Caligula?” Amadeus ate his toast.

“Harvey Tallbanger tells me that he did,” Renfield nodded, “Gali-Gula helped Trudeau write the Canadian Governor-General’s Speech From The Throne which was read today at the opening of the new session of the Canadian Parliament in Ottawa.”

Amadeus read from the Canadian throne speech on his laptop the following words, “We all share the same space/time continuum on the same planetary spaceship.”

“I think Justin was not the only one inhaling Strawberry Fields Forever’s exhaled pot smoke,” Renfield remarked, “Gali-Gula must have imbibed a great deal as well to pen that whopper of a line.”

“Moving on to another subject,” Amadeus read to Renfield the following news item, “It was announced this past December 3rd that Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen who was 20th Century America’s greatest Roman Catholic evangelist and preacher has had his beatification ceremony postponed. He was supposed to be beatified this coming December 21st but the ceremony has been postponed. Apparently the first time in Church history that a beatification ceremony has been postponed. What’s up with that?”.

“Apparently certain members of the USeless Conference of Catholic Bishops objected to Sheen being beatified,” Renfield replied.

“Why would they object to Sheen being beatified?” Amadeus inquired.

“Because Sheen was a staunch anti-Communist and what’s more he was truly intellectual and scholarly in his anti-Communism unlike most members of the John Birch Society. Therefore true Communists detested Sheen even more than they did the John Birch Society whom they just regarded as a bunch of “proletarian deplorables”. An elitist attitude still shared by 21st Century female Marxist candidates for President.”

“You’re saying certain members of the USeless Conference of Catholic Bishops are Communists?” Amadeus was shocked.

“Yes, either Communist or predatory homosexual (who sexually assault altar boys and young seminarians) or both,” Renfield nodded, “Sheen did not get along well with the predatory homosexual Archbishop of New York City Francis Cardinal Spellman. Hence Spellman’s modern day disciples among the USeless Conference of Catholic Bishops can’t stand Sheen either.”

“Wow,” Amadeus shook his head.

“Elizabeth Scalia an airheaded associate of the ludicrous Bishop Robert Barron who thinks Hitler, Stalin, Mao and Pol Pot are in Heaven since there’s nobody in Hell according to his Dare We Hope That All Are Saved? Theology (both Jesus of Nazareth and Raymond Red Reddington of The Blacklist could easily tell him “No.”) tried to say that Sheen himself was gay by calling him a “flouncy” in one of her Twitter tweets. She obviously never saw the episode of What’s My Line? where Archbishop Sheen as a guest easily charmed the women panelists. Most women can easily tell whether a man is gay or not unless of course they’re as stupid as Elizabeth Scalia.”

“Who’s leading the USeless Conference of Catholic Bishops’ charge against Bishop Sheen’s beatification?” Amadeus inquired.

“The spirit of Antichrist filled Archbishop of New York City Timothy Cardinal Dolan and the spirit of Antichrist filled Archbishop of Chicago Blaise Cardinal Cupich,” Renfield answered, “The usual suspects.”

. . .

Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was walking the streets of Vienna the Austrian capital.

He stood in front of Saint Stephen’s Cathedral in Vienna where recently a Baphomet worshipping music and dance concert was held there with the permission of Christoph Cardinal Schonborn the Archbishop of Vienna.

As Whitstable stood there, he suddenly noticed Cardinal Schonborn himself walking down the street.

Suddenly Krampus the infamous half-goat half demon who used to follow around the saintly bishop Saint Nicholas came down the street.

Krampus was carrying his bag full of naughty individuals he was taking to Hell on this Krampusnacht (the evening of December 5th- the night before the Feast Day of Saint Nicholas which was December 6th).

Krampus picked up Cardinal Schonborn with his hairy arms and threw him into his bag.

He then went down a sewer no doubt on his way to Hell.

Whitstable bought himself a candy cane from a street corner Santa Claus.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 5th
2019.


The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec singing at a concert hall in Vienna while outside in the streets, Krampus is carrying Vienna’s screaming Archbishop Cardinal Schonborn in a bag on his way to Hell.

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Birthday

November 28, 2019 at 10:44 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Life, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Birthday

His birthday fell on U.S. Thanksgiving this year.

And he was Canadian.

So his birthday would be being marked south of the border.

Rita Hayworth was his favourite actress.

Although he had daydreamed about her, she had never appeared in any of his dreams as he slept.

Possibly the new year of his life was off to a good start as he had dreamed about her in the early morning.

In his dream, he had been a detective.

And he had been called in with his cousins to solve a mystery of a rock music band who had mysteriously disappeared on his uncle’s farm.

And Rita Hayworth was his assistant who helped him solve the mystery.

Or at least he assumed he had solved the mystery.

He woke up just as he dreamed he was kissing her.

But still that was off to a good start.

Usually he always woke up before he got the chance to kiss any beautiful woman who appeared in his dream.

He walked outside to shovel the snow.

As a great deal of snow had fallen over night.

As he walked down the steps of the house where he rented a basement room, he noticed rabbit tracks in the snow around the front yard.

That was always a good sign for a new year of life.

As rabbits always made him think of his father who had been born in the Chinese zodiac year of the Rabbit.

. . .

Xi Jinping the paramount leader of China wondered who this mysterious Mr. Inn Lu was in Sydney Australia who was hiding a PRC (People’s Republic of China) Ministry of State Security intelligence defector named Wang in one of his Sydney safe houses.

Wang defected with the help of another Ministry of State Security operative the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (granddaughter of Vietnamese leader Ho Chi Minh).

Ho herself then went and defected to Taiwan.

Xi tried to get ahold of another Ministry of State Security official the vampiress Mei-ling Manchu to try to track down both defectors.

But she didn’t seem to be answering her Huawei smart phone.

. . .

“Well, Mei-ling,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield asked his vampiress friend from Beijing, “What have you come to tell me?”.

“Well,” Mei-ling licked her vampiress incisors with her tongue, “I’ve decided to overthrow China’s megalomaniac totalitarian despot Xi Jinping and make myself Empress of China.”

“An excellent idea,” Renfield sipped his brandy, “what can I do to help?”.

. . .

Inside a time tunnel in a mountain hideout, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was about to set out with her companion:

“Well, Dracul,” she asked Van Helsing, “are you ready to begin our mission?”.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Thursday November 28th
2019.

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Qonzilqointec, Santa Muerte, Don Quixote and Pachamama Mark Guy Fawkes Day In Mexico

November 5, 2019 at 11:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec, Santa Muerte, Don Quixote and Pachamama Mark Guy Fawkes Day In Mexico

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec had flown back to Mexico accompanied by Dracul Van Helsing upon hearing the news that 9 members of an American Mormon family- 3 women and 6 children- were killed in an attack by suspected drug cartel gunmen in northern Mexico.

Their burnt out SUV was found by the side of the road with the remains of some victims found inside.

They were most likely targeted as a result of mistaken identity.

Sonora state in northern Mexico is being fought over by two rival gangs La Linea (with links to the larger Juarez cartel) and Los Chapos (which is part of the larger Sinaloa cartel).

Being an equal opportunity beheader when it came to dealing with drug gang members, Qonzilqointec started beheading members of both gangs when she arrived in Sonora state.

She was assisted in the beheading by Van Helsing.

Just before their heads were lopped off, most of the drug hoodlums started snivelling and whining that this wasn’t what they had signed up for when they decided to join the gangs.

They were expecting a life of sex, drugs, rock ‘n roll and wild parties not being beheaded.

“Well, life’s a bitch and then you die,” Van Helsing remarked unsympathetically as he lopped off yet another whining drug hoodlum’s head.

Van Helsing and Qonzilqointec were soon joined in their beheading of the drug dealing hooligans by a man dressed as a medieval Spanish knight.

After over a thousand hooligans had lost their heads and the trio decided to call it a night, the Spanish knight rode off on his horse.

“Who was that unmasked man wearing the gold coloured sombrero of an old time Spanish singing barber?” Van Helsing asked Qonzilqointec.

“Well, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say it was a younger looking version of Cervantes’ Don Quixote,” the Aztec vampire princess answered.

. . .

Santa Muerte the patron saint of drug dealers was sitting in a rural Mexican cantina looking depressed because quite a number of his worshippers had died the past few days after being beheaded by the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

Santa Muerte was depicted in his statues as a female saint but was really Samael the ancient angel of death (mentioned in the Talmud) in drag.

He had been living in Mexico since the 1930s and had been a transgendered fallen angel for almost as long.

“I’ve got a lot to complain about,” Santa Muerte wept in his tequila.

“You’ve got a lot to complain about?” Pachamama the ancient Inca Mother Earth goddess who was sitting over at the next table hit him over the head with her high-heeled shoes, “I’ve got something to complain about. Back on Monday October 20th during the Pan-Amazonia synod in Rome a group of Catholic men entered a Catholic Church where my statues were displayed and took them out and threw them into the Tiber River. Then just this past Sunday November 3rd
the Rev. Father Hugo Valdemar Romero Canon of the Cathedral in Mexico City and the official Spokesman for the Archdiocese of Mexico burned 3 cardboard effigies of me in a public ceremony in front of Our Lady of Guadalupe Church in Mexico City.”

“Well, look at the bright side,” Santa Muerte polished his 1930s era glass spectacles with a cloth, “he missed Guy Fawkes Day by two days. He obviously didn’t remember the 5th of November. And I don’t imagine Canon Valdemar will ever be awarded a Cardinal’s hat by Pope Francis.” 

Pachamama was not pleased by Santa Muerte’s words of consolation.

She poured tequila all over his skull head and then set fire to it.

Santa Muerte cried, “The last thing I wanted to do was spend Guy Fawkes Day looking like Nicolas Cage in the 2007 film Ghost Rider.”

He ran up to the bar and poured a pitcher of ice water over his head.

. . .

Señorita Adriana was sitting beside a carved stone depiction of the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl.

She held a red rose in her hands.

The rose had been given her by a man who had been the epitome of charm.

But the man was really Quetzalcoatl who had shapeshifted into human form.

The “man” had told her to wait for him by the carved image of Quetzalcoatl.

The feathered serpent arrived on the scene with a obsidian knife to cut her heart out.

Señorita Adriana screamed.

A man dressed as a medieval Spanish knight and wearing a golden coloured sombrero arrived on the scene and stabbed the feathered serpent with his lance.

“Waaaaah!” Quetzalcoatl cried.

“But it’s only a flesh wound,” Don Quixote pointed out.

“I haven’t had worse,” Quetzalcoatl sobbed as he ran down the street.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 5th
2019.

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Qonzilqointec of The Catacombs

November 3, 2019 at 11:14 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec of The Catacombs

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec in the catacombs of Rome.

After having spent Dias de los Muertos down in Mexico, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec had flown from Mexico City to Rome on a mission for Set Enterprises and the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

Set was anxious to get his hands on the recently signed Pact of the Catacombs that was signed down in the catacombs by various cardinals, bishops and priests at last month’s Pan-Amazonia Synod.

Set feared that in that pact was an alliance treaty signed between his arch-enemy, brother and brother-in-law the Egyptian god Osiris and Pachamama the ancient Inca Mother Earth goddess.

Therefore Set wanted to discover whether talk of an Osiris-Pachamama alliance was in fact true.

So he had talked Qonzilqointec and Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing into searching the catacombs to find a copy of the pact which according to one of Set’s sources inside the Vatican was hidden inside one of the catacomb walls.

Qonzilqointec stood at one of the catacomb entrances waiting for Dracul Van Helsing to catch up:

“Are you coming?” She asked him.

“I am most definitely coming,” Dracul answered as he looked at her.

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” she threw back her hair and laughed.

“I think in the catacombs, we are somewhat below gutter level aren’t we?” Dracul pointed out.

“That’s no excuse,” she shook her head.

They heard a clop! clop! clop! coming from one of the catacombs.

Then a peculiar voice that sounded like neighing and then singing, “Mr. Ed the Talking Horse! Of course! Of course!”.

Aztec vampiress and Canadian vampire hunter looked and there was a headless horseman (wearing a jack o’ lantern pumpkin for a head) riding a black horse.

A black horse that was wearing tap dancing shoes as it clopped along.

“Excuse me,” Van Helsing asked politely, “but do you know where a copy of the recently signed Pact of the Catacombs might be hidden in the catacomb walls?”.

“Well,” the Headless Horseman blew his carved out pumpkin nose with his handkerchief (a very tricky feat), “I was told by the Pope’s personal Monsignor Master of Ceremonies that a copy of the pact was hid in that wall down there.”

The headless horseman pointed.

“Thanks very much,” Van Helsing smiled.

“No problem,” the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow doffed his hat off his pumpkin head.

As the Headless Horseman’s horse trotted off towards the catacomb entrance with his headless rider, the horse sang his own paraphrased version of an old Charlie Rich song, “Hey, did you happen to see the most beautiful mare in the world? And if you did, was she sneezing, sneezing?…” 

A song that the horse Bucephalus Reborn sang in tribute to a long lost love of his who had a terrible allergy to hay.

“Got it,” Qonzilqointec grabbed the scroll from the wall.

She unrolled it.

“It appears Set’s worst fears are true,” she noted as she read it.

“I’ll text message him right now,” Van Helsing pulled out his smart phone and proceeded to do just that.
“Well, I suppose we better head back to London,” Qonzilqointec suggested.

“What’s the rush?” Van Helsing looked around, “I wonder what it’s like to make out in the catacombs?”.

Qonzilqointec approached him, “Are you asking me to make out with you in the catacombs?”.

“I am,” Van Helsing answered.

Later as Pope Francis was taking an evening stroll through the catacombs, he got the shock of his life.

“Great life force of the Amazon!” The pontiff exclaimed.

Being used to the confines of the Vatican, he wasn’t used to the sight of two people of the opposite sex making out with one another.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher 
Sunday November 3rd
2019.

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