Krampus Takes A Paris Detour On Krampusnacht

December 5, 2018 at 11:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Poetry, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

It was the night of Krampusnacht
and all through the house
in Austria and Bavaria
and places thereabout
The Austro-Bavarian demon/goat hybrid Krampus roamed
the son of the Norse goddess Hel and Bucca Dhu
Hel who was Loki’s daughter and the goddess ruler
of the Norse underworld in Niflheim

Bucca Dhu who was the Black Goat horned god of the winter months
in Cornish witchcraft

Hel came down from her frostbitten parts north of Thule, Hyperborea and Scandinavia
And Bucca Dhu traveled east from the Cornish coast across the wild Cornish moors and east across England and then across the channel
And northeastwards towards the Alps of Bavaria and Austria
They met
And they spent 40 days and 40 nights making out in various locales
Austria, Bavaria, Croatia, the Czech Republic, Hungary, the South Tyrol region and the province of Trento in northern Italy, Slovakia and Slovenia
The product of their union was Krampus whose name is derived from the German word krampen meaning claw

Krampus is the demonic anti-Santa
The entity who punishes bad children on Krampusnacht (the evening of December 5th) in the regions of Central Europe named above
Just as Saint Nicholas rewards good children on Saint Nicholas’ Night
(December 6th)
Tonight however the cosmic powers that be
Determined that Krampus must take a detour
and drag screaming down to Hell
The cougar chasing, mascara and make-up wearing, metrosexual elitist snob President of France Emmanuel Macron
For the gods and goddesses of all the ancient religions loved Paris
And thanks to Macron’s stupidity, Paris was burning
And so Macron must be punished
And the instrument of punishment: Krampus

So Krampus pushed Macron into his black sack of coal
and took him to Hell
The underworld realm of Hades
Where he was ferried across the River Styx by Charon
And then bitten in the ass by the 3-headed dog Cerberus
Kicked in the balls by Persephone the Queen of the Underworld
And barfed on by Napoleon the 1st Emperor of the French

He was then escorted to Tartarus by Krampus
While there he passed one of the waiting rooms to Tartarus
What looked to be an old schoolroom from the 1920s
Where the immortal dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes
the immortal twin sister of the great detective Sherlock Holmes
had been hired by Hades for a week to give spankings to naughty boys
prior to their entering Tartarus

She had been hired temporarily to replace the 3 Furies (Erinyes)
who had all come down with a bad case of the flu

“Yes, yes!” Cried Macron as his mascara started running
due to the heat of the nearby flames,
“I need to be spanked by Sherrielock!”

Krampus smiled sadistically and replied
in a voice more sinister than that of the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld,
“No Sherrielock for you!”.

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
on Krampusnacht
Wednesday December 5th
2018.


The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec hoping to convince Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to join her in surpassing the Guinness Book of World Records world record for the most consecutive days and nights of continuously making out which is currently held by the Norse goddess Hel and the Cornish Black Goat horned god Bucca Dhu.

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Michelangelo’s Vision of 2018 U.S. Midterm Elections

November 3, 2018 at 10:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, love, Mythology, News, Politics, Romance, Science, The Supernatural, TV Shows, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was back in the U.K. again after a brief one day Dia de Los Muertos visit to Mexico City where he videotaped the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec ripping out the live still beating heart of a horny sexually predatory and sexually harassing Google exec (one of many who had recently inspired a spate of Google employee strikes across the world).

Renfield then posted the video on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter where it went viral across the Net.

The video was the one thing Renfield did that met with the approval of the #MeTooMovement.

After watching the video, the unlamented former Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein woke up screaming in the night about having a dream of open heart surgery being performed on him without the use of anesthetic.

Another consequence was that Texas cowboys and gunslingers stopped falling in love with Mexican girls in cantinas out in the West Texas town of El Paso much to singer Marty Robbins’ displeasure.

After the burning of the heart was done in front of the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl (who because of his advanced age was starting to prefer his meat cooked well done rather than raw or rare these days), the Aztec deity (who was worshipped as Kukulkan by the Mayans) after eating the heart proceeded to sit down on a sofa with a bottle of tequila (containing inside it a worm in front of a biodegradable cardboard tombstone that had for an epitaph POE’S THE CONQUEROR WORM Conquered) in front of a television set and watched Orson Welles’ last film The Other Side of The Wind on Netflix.

Outside his Mexico City penthouse apartment, the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith performed one huge storm of a whirlwind as the vampire Lev Tomi (who in his mortal life had been Leon Trotsky) the head of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change gave a speech on climate change in the city.

Meanwhile back in Qonzilqointec’s penthouse suite on the other side of the street, the Aztec vampiress made out with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing engaging in BDSM foreplay and mystical magic tantric sex afterwards.

Renfield flew back to Britain from Mexico listening to the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper and Magical Mystery Tour albums on his airplane headphones while eating a nice dinner of curried lamb and curried goats’ legs on Manitoba wild rice.

Back at the CERN Large Hadron Collidor tunnel in Switzerland, the Hindu destroyer and transformer god Shiva was trying to make a curried dinner out of hubris ridden CERN scientists who had just uncovered a “ghost particle” that was about to upset the equilibrium balance of the entire cosmos.

A result of all this was that scientist Stephen Hawking was turning over on his barbeque spit in Tartarus and very much regretting the fact that he had written THERE IS NO GOD in his last book.

His mother’s favourite expression “Famous Last Words” never rang so true as now.

As soon as Renfield R. Renfield walked through the front door of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion, his friend Amadeus Emanon informed him of a vision that Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had had in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises laboratories.

“Michelangelo foresees widespread violence, shootings and stabbings at polling stations across America on U.S. mid-term election day,” Amadeus stated.

“I’m not surprised,” Renfield admitted, “I imagine in future U.S. elections, the UN will have to bring in observers from the Afghan Taliban and militant sectarian groups in Iraq to make sure that future American elections are conducted in a less violent and more peaceful manner.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday November 3rd
2018.

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Dracul and Qonzilqointec On Feast Day of Saint Pius X

August 21, 2018 at 10:58 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, love, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dracul and Qonzilqointec On Feast Day of Saint Pius X

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was waiting for Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

She wore a low-cut short skirted red rose 🌹 decorated white mini dress and a pair of spiked stiletto high-heeled sandals 👡 whose colour matched her purse 👜.

As soon as Dracul saw her, he realized right then and there that he’d have to take her right then and there on the spot.

Qonzilqointec was expecting that (in fact she was immensely looking forward to it) and so she hadn’t worn any panties under her dress.

Dracul mounted her and they engaged in several hours of highly orgasmic tantric sex which had a major effect on the Ring of Fire around the Pacific Ocean 🌊.

Coincidentally 69 (yes, 69) major earthquakes hit the Ring of Fire and the area around the Yellowstone super volcano 🌋 was on high alert.

. . .

August 21st was the Feast Day of Pope Saint Pius X.

Pope Francis didn’t really relish celebrating the Feast as Saint Pius X had been a Pope who believed in the existence of Hell (much to Pope Francis’ discomfort).

Nevertheless he said a commemoration Mass today for the sake of appearances.

No telling what Cardinal Raymond Burke and Cardinal Robert Sarah would have said if he hadn’t.

Pope Francis then left the Mass for his meeting to discuss the environment and sustainable development for Earth 🌏 Mother Gaia with Lev Tomi the Secretary of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change.

Lev Tomi was a vampire.

In his mortal life he had been the Russian Bolshevik revolutionary Leon Trotsky who had a falling out with Josef Stalin and was expelled from the USSR in February 1929.

It was on this date August 21st back in 1940 that Trotsky had been bitten on the neck and turned into a vampire by the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec in Mexico City.

The bite that changed him from mortal to vampiric immortal happened shorty after midnight 🕛 Mexico City local time on August 21st.

If he hadn’t been turned into a vampire, he would have succumbed to his head wounds from an ice pick attack to the head and died.

The ice pick attack happened on August 20th 1940 in Mexico City and was administered by Spanish-born Stalinist agent Ramon Mercader acting on Stalin’s orders.

Trotsky’s “death” was announced to the world as a way to prevent any further attacks on his person by agents of Josef Stalin (it also saved Stalinist agents the embarrassment of having to carry Crosses and Crucifixes and Holy Water as well as hawthorn wooden stakes on their person in an effort to dispose of Trotsky in his current state).

Trotsky changed his name to Lev Tomi and moved to New York City where he worked as a non-starving artist (since he didn’t have to pay to drink blood- his main diet).

When the United Nations was formed in 1945, he got a job working at the UN in New York and worked his way up to become Secretary of The UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change.

“So,” Pope Francis asked Trotsky aka Tomi, “how shall we bring about a world global government to save Mother Earth 🌏?”.

Tomi aka Trotsky told him.

. . .

One of Israel’s leading Kabbalistic rabbis was giving an address in a synagogue on how various mystical rabbis throughout the centuries had predicted the arrival of an alien 👽 ET saviour from another planet who would be the ultimate blessed hope of the Jewish people.

The Mossad agent who was codenamed the Controller of the Golem sat in the front row of the synagogue 🕍 in a state of shock.

Never before had he heard such utter blasphemy.

His gentile guests the Byzantine vampiress Theodora and Prince Vlad Dracula of Wallachia and Count of Transylvania were likewise shocked 😳 😮 as they sat in the front row.

What was really disturbing the Controller thought to himself was that this same Kabbalistic rabbi (who had just prophesied the advent of an alien 👽 ET saviour from another planet) had numerous gentile disciples in America- most of whom were well-known supposedly “Christian” televangelists.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 21st
2018.

Qonzilqointec on an historic date-
in every sense of that word.

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Santa Muerte Dances Among The Corpses In The Streets

August 3, 2018 at 11:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Santa Muerte Dances Among The Corpses In The Street

In the Mexican village of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe, there was not a living soul on the streets.

Just a bunch of bodies of men, women and children with their heads, arms and legs hacked off.

They had decided as a village to take a stand against the Disciples of Santa Muerte drug cartel which controlled the entire province.

The result was they met their deaths in a most cruel and inhumane manner.

Q-Amon the secret head behind the Colombian drug cartels had flown from Columbia into Mexico to make a personal example of this village.

The message would run clear throughout the entire Americas- do not cross the drug cartels.

Santa Muerte (the female Saint Death- actually Samael the Talmudic Archangel of Death dressed in drag as a spectral drag queen) came to the village of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe to celebrate 🎉 🎊.

He had gone to the city of Chihuahua to pick up the haunted mannequin known as La Pascualita.

La Pascualita was also called the Corpse Bride of Mexico.

She had stood on display in a store window for over 80 years in the city of Chihuahua having made its storefront debut on March 25th 1930.

The female shop owner at the time had recently lost her daughter in a wedding day incident.

She had been bitten by a black widow spider 🕷 hours before she was due to wed her fiancé.

Some locals claimed the mannequin in the window was not a real mannequin at all but the shop owner’s dead daughter stuffed and perfectly preserved.

They said the mannequin was the spitting image of the daughter.

The mannequin was said by locals to dance in the store at night.

The mannequin would change positions in the shop window with no one near it.

Her eyes would look right at passing onlookers.

The mannequin’s hands are very realistic:

She even has varicose veins on her legs.

Santa Muerte (in the days when he/she was still Samael the masculine Archangel of Death) had fallen in love with 😍 Pascualita and had intended to raise objections at the wedding ceremony requesting that she marry him instead.

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith the jealous ex-wife of Samael (she had been married to Samael many millenia ago) appeared to Pascualita and said she’d lend the bride to be her valuable necklace.

Pascualita gratefully accepted.

The trouble was the necklace had a living black widow spider 🕷 attached to it which bit Pascualita and she died.

With Pascualita the haunted mannequin and bride corpse of Mexico in his/her arms, Santa Muerte/Samael danced with her in the bloody streets of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe amongst the corpses.

As they danced, Santa Muerte sang that old David Bowie song Let’s Dance 💃🏻,

Let’s dance (Santa Muerte bowed to Pascualita)
Put on your red shoes (Pascualita dipped her black shoes into the red blood turning them red 👠) and dance the blues (the ghost of one of Mexico’s leading Elvis impersonators danced in blue suede shoes)
Let’s dance (Pascualita and Santa Muerte dance with one another)
To the song they’re playing on the radio (the ghost of a 1930 General Electric GE H-51 console radio appeared and played the Soviet National Anthem as heard on Radio Moscow)
Let’s sway
(Pascualita and Santa Muerte sway back and forth in the desert midnight breeze)
Sway through the crowd to an empty space
(But there are so many bodies on the street, they’re unable to find an empty place)

If you say run (they run to a holographic image of Donald Trump’s proposed wall beamed to earth by NASA satellite 🛰)
I’ll run with you (Santa Muerte chases after her like a ballet dancer in Swan Lake)
And if you say hide
We’ll hide (Edward Hyde of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde fame appears alongside them)
Because my love for you
would break my heart into two
(The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec appears with an obsidian knife and cuts Santa Muerte’s heart out ripping it in two and feeding both pieces to her spiritual godfather the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl)
If you should fall into my arms
And tremble like a flower
(Pascualita falls into his arms, trembles and then dies and 88 year old roses 🌹 fall out of her wedding dress and crumble into dust which is blown away by the desert wind)

Let’s dance
Let’s dance
For fear your grace should fall
(A silver cross falls from Pascualita’s neck)
Let’s dance
For fear tonight is all
(Demons emerge from the desert and start to feed on the corpses in the village streets)
Let’s sway
(Santa Muerte sways with Pascualita’s limp corpse in his arms)
You could look into my eyes
(Pascualita raises her head and looks into Santa Muerte’s eyes)
Let’s sway
(They sway back and forth like candles flickering in the wind as a figure who looks like Sir Elton John appears and starts to weep)
Under the moonlight, this serious moonlight
(The former Egyptian Pharaoh Q-Amon appears on a distant hill, turns into a jackal and howls in the moonlight as blood falls from his fangs on to the village below)

And if you say run
I’ll run with you…

(Rivers of blood run and flow through the streets of the village of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe)

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 3rd 2018.

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Reblog- Aztec Vampiress Qonzilqointec and The Roswell UFO Crash

July 8, 2018 at 10:18 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec in mourning for the victims of the Roswell crash

A vampire novel chapter I posted a year ago yesterday on the 70th Anniversary of the Roswell crash- a crash that UFO 🛸 enthusiasts believe was of an extraterrestrial 👽 spacecraft that contained the bodies of ET grays.

Dracul Van Helsing

Qonzilqointec On 70th Anniversary of Roswell UFO Crash

French UFO researcher Jacques Vallee was sipping cognac and reflecting on how it was 70 years ago today that a UFO flying saucer was said to have crashed on a ranch near the town of Roswell New Mexico.

Later the crashed vehicle was said to be just a downed weather balloon.

Although others had speculated that the crashed vehicle was a self-conscious self-aware Hoover vacuum cleaner that had a premonitory vision of the message implied in Richard Bach’s 1970s bestseller Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

Vallee didn’t know what to think about the incident.

ET better phone the nearest American Automobile Association Auto Club, was that what happened ? Vallee wondered.

His housekeeper entered the room to tell Vallee about two phone calls for him.

Mikhail Gorbachev was on Line 1 and Pope Francis was on Line 2.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister…

View original post 907 more words

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Kwan Yin and Kim and Moon and The Surprise “Hollywood” Style Summit

May 26, 2018 at 10:10 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Kwan Yin and Kim and Moon and the Surprise “Hollywood” Style Summit

After Donald Trump threw a temper tantrum and pulled red spider monkeys out of his hair and cancelled the June 12th Singapore Peace Summit in an announcement this past Thursday May 24th, Kwan Yin the Asian Buddhist goddess of mercy had asked Thoth the Egyptian god of wisdom, the moon and magic along with his immortal formerly mortal companion Serena the Time Traveler to go to the Underworld realm of Hades and ask the entity Hades (known to the Romans as Pluto) to release the ghost of the great film director Orson Welles from Purgatory.

In the past, Hades normally had to consult with the earthly Pope of Rome before he could do such things but since the current Pope Francis no longer believed in Purgatory (or even Hell for that matter), he was able to immediately accede to Kwan Yin’s request.

The ghost of Orson Welles left Hades saying, “Paul Masson will sell no wine 🍷 before its time but Hades will release my ghost before my time.”

Thoth and Serena escorted Welles to the DMZ (demilitarized zone) on the Korean Peninsula where Kwan Yin gave Welles a deadline of 48 hours to arrange a surprise “Hollywood” style summit between North Korean leader Kim Jong-un and South Korean President Moon Jae-in.

Welles never followed deadlines much in his mortal life (which is why most American film studios in Hollywood became reluctant to work with him) but what he had failed to do in life, he achieved in death.

The surprise summit happened today Saturday May 26th 2018.

Also present at the surprise summit were Kwan Yin herself as well as the Chinese Communist vampiress Meiling Manchu (who had recently broken with Chinese President Xi Jinping on the grounds he had become a Mao like cult leader and total totalitarian despot) and the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

Kim and Moon agreed to carry on talks for a planned Singapore Peace Summit between Trump and Kim on June 12th.

Meiling and Qonzilqointec were to go to the White House in Washington DC and hold down the Trumpster while the immortal London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes tomatoed the toupee wearing blowhard’s buttocks with her whip until he agreed to go to the summit as planned.

When Moon and Kim finished their meeting, Orson Welles asked Kwan Yin if it would not be possible for his ghost to remain out of Hades for a while so he could visit London, England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 of which he had fond memories.

Kwan Yin, Thoth and Serena then text messaged Hades on their Divine Celestial Samsung Galaxy 6 Billion Model Smart Phones and put in a special request for the successful director of the surprise “Hollywood” style summit in the Korean Peninsula’s demilitarized zone to spend some more time out of the realm of Hades.

Hades agreed.

He had no objections.

Especially since Welles was consuming most of the wine 🍷 available in the Underworld to the dismay of other clients and patrons.

Kwan Yin the Buddhist Goddess of Mercy

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 26th
2018.

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The Aztec Vampiress Qonzilqointec, Turkey’s Tyrant, Raúl Castro’s Successor and The Neo-Nazi Billionaire

April 18, 2018 at 10:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Aztec Vampiress Qonzilqointec, Turkey’s Tyrant, Raúl Castro’s Successor and A Neo-Nazi Billionaire

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was on her way to meet Raúl Castro’s handpicked successor Miguel Díaz-Canel in the Cuban 🇨🇺 capital of Havana.

Pic of Qonzilqointec on her way to meet Cuba’s next President Miguel Díaz-Canel:

https://pin.it/gpw5o3ygkufczk

She was meeting with the new leader to see if he was going to become a total despot like Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro who was Hugo Chavez’s successor (she was already plotting Maduro’s overthrow with Dracul Van Helsing, British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill).

On her way to meet Díaz-Canel, she ran into her lover Dracul Van Helsing who was in Havana to monitor the suspicious activities of the Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike.

(For more on the background of Robur Pike, please read:

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2016/10/08/nazi-scientist-eckhart-fromm-and-his-attempt-at-human-genetic-cloning/

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2017/02/02/robur-the-conquerer-ii-in-havana/

)

When Dracul saw the sexy and sensual Aztec vampiress wearing her topless gold mini dress, he asked her how much of a hurry she was in to meet Miguel Díaz-Canel.

She adjusted her skirt and replied that she might have a few hours to spare.

So she went to Dracul’s hotel room and spent the next several hours making wild passionate love to him.

. . .

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan had left an extremely nasty comment on British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s Facebook page.

The comment was in retaliation for Renfield arranging the circumstances whereby the Celtic horned god Cernunnos was busy killing Turkish soldiers who were undertaking a genocidal campaign against the Kurds in the Afrin region of northwestern Syria 🇸🇾.

An hour later, Russian President Vladimir Putin likewise posted a nasty comment on Renfield’s Facebook page.

The remark was in retaliation for Cernunnos likewise killing Russian soldiers at a base in Syria.

“So,” Sir Winston Churchill’s ghost remarked as he chewed on the tip of his spectral cigar and sipped from his spectral glass of brandy, “I see the fascist despot Erdogan has brought forward the date of presidential and parliamentary elections in Turkey 🇹🇷 from November 2019 to this coming June 24th.”

“I guess considering the bad shape Turkey’s economy is in thanks to the fascist despot’s misrule and the defeat that Prince Vlad Dracula, Cernunnos, the Byzantine vampiress Theodora and the Israeli Controller of The Golem will soon inflict on Turkish forces in Syria, Erdogan figures he better call the election now so he can hurry up and pave the way to make himself Sultan of a revived Ottoman Empire,” Renfield remarked.

“I fear that’s very much the case,” Churchill frowned.

“If only I could find a way to convince Theresa May to start a campaign to get that bum kicked out of NATO,” Renfield rubbed his chin. 🤔

. . .

German Chancellor Angela Merkel was in her office when suddenly the ancient Egyptian frog 🐸 headed god Kek appeared to her.

“Sweet Jesus,” she said in language designed to offend any pagan deity, “did anyone ever tell you that you look a lot like that Internet meme Pepe the Frog 🐸?”.

“So I’ve been told,” Kek’s tongue wrestled with Mrs. Merkel’s Venus fly trap office plant for control of a fly to eat.

“What are you doing here in Germany?” Mrs. Merkel asked.

“Well having spent several days visiting the fascists and Neo-Nazis in the alt-right movement in the U.S., I’m now visiting the fascists and neo-Nazis in the anti-immigrant and anti-foreigner AfD (Alternative fur Deutschland),” Kek smiled as he licked his lips after eating both the Venus fly trap and the fly.

“Germany will never succumb to Naziism again,” said Mrs. Merkel.

“There is a man called Robur Pike who says otherwise,” Kek belched with the sound and fury of an Egyptian god of chaos.

“Who’s Robur Pike?” Mrs. Merkel asked.

Kek laughed and laughed until he had an amphibian bowel movement of massive proportions.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 18th
2018.

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The Awesome Blogger Award

January 23, 2018 at 10:16 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The Awesome Blogger Award

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was making out with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec in a luxurious hotel room in Bucharest, Romania.

Downstairs in the lobby, Dr. Cadbury Rocher was giving Vlad III Tepes the Impaler Dracula a history lesson on what’s been happening in the world throughout the entire 20th Century and the 1st 17 years of the 21st.

By all accounts, Dracul Van Helsing and Qonzilqointec were having the more enjoyable time.

“I hear you’ve been nominated for the Awesome Blogger Award, Dracul,” Qonzilqointec gasped in ecstasy as she climaxed yet again.

“That’s right, I have been nominated for the Awesome Blogger Award,” Dracul answered as he moved in for the Kama Sutra Lifetime Achievement Award.

“I would have to agree, you are an awesome blogger!” Qonzilqointec admitted as she orgasmed for the 69th time in this lovemaking session.

“Thank you,” Dracul thought that his childhood hero Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise would be so proud of him right now.

“Who nominated you?” The sexy Aztec vampiress asked.

“A fellow blogger Ortensia72 who lives in Dublin, Ireland 🇮🇪,” Dracul replied.

“Isn’t Dublin the home of Guinness Draught?” Qonzilqointec queried as she underwent a volcanic eruption 🌋.

“It is,” Dracul re-enacted Robin Hood hitting the bull’s eye at a Nottingham archery tournament, “Drinking a Guinness draught and reading a Van Helsing blog post seem to go well together.”

“Well, I currently like where a Van Helsing is posting now,” the Aztec vampire princess gasped, “so all I need is a Guinness draught.”

“We can order some from room service,” Dracul suggested.

“What question were you asked in getting nominated for the award?” Qonzilqointec purred like a kitten.

“Savoury or sweets?” Dracul remembered the question.

“And what was your answer?” She came as Dracul entered new terrain.

“Savoury of course,” Dracul replied, “I’ve always liked my sex extremely spicy 🌶.”

“And who do you nominate?” She pressed her lips against him.

“Every blog I read has an awesome blogger behind it,” said Dracul, “so I nominate them all.”

“And what question will you ask them?” Qonzilqointec waved a leopard skin tanga above her head.

“Where was the most unusual place you made love?” Dracul framed the question in Perry Mason like courtroom fashion.

“And where do you think was the most unusual place we made love?” Qonzilqointec started to hum that old song Thanks For The Memories.

“Probably when we made love in the clock tower of Big Ben at the Westminster Parliament just before they closed the tower down for several years as it undergoes construction 🔨,” Dracul recalled.

Meanwhile in the lobby, Dracula had fallen asleep 😴 when Dr. Cadbury Rocher started reading aloud from the U. S. Congressional Record debating the federal budget for the U.S. Government fiscal year 1952-53.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 23rd
2018.

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Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec On New Year’s Eve

December 31, 2017 at 6:23 pm (love, News, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Qonzilqointec On New Year's Eve

Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec On New Year’s Eve

Dressed in a lovely purple evening dress, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec waited for Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to arrive to escort her to a New Year’s Eve ball.

Dracul arrived dressed in a tuxedo.

“Cocktails before we leave?” She asked.

“An excellent idea,” Dracul took off his top hat and cane.

As they downed a champagne cocktail, Qonzilqointec made a toast, “To the New Year.”

“To the New Year,” Dracul raised his glass.

Happy New Year, everyone.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday December 31st
2018.

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Conflict With The Sire of Abaddon

October 7, 2017 at 7:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Conflict With The Sire of Abaddon

The Mossad agent they called The Controller of The Golem was swimming in the Mediterranean Sea waters off the coast of Tel Aviv.

Swimming alongside him was his new found friend Miranda the Mermaid.

The Controller in his right hand held what looked to be a harpoon.

But it was a special type of harpoon.

A harpoon invented by his friend the noted British scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher (Dr. Rocher had brought the Controller of The Golem back from the dead after his glass of Scotch whisky had been poisoned with polonium-210 administered by the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith).

The harpoon fired a Nikola Tesla Particle Death Beam- the only force capable of destroying a sea kraken.

And Miranda had recently found out that the mermaid goddess Atargatis had raised the eastern Mediterranean Sea kraken Sire of Abaddon to destroy Israel.

And now Sire of Abaddon was swimming underwater heading straight for Israel 🇮🇱.

Nathan (The Controller’s real first name) fired the harpoon.

But sadly the Tesla Particle Death Beam missed.

An angry tentacle shot out from the kraken Sire of Abaddon and proceeded to strangle Nathan.

Using all her strength, Miranda the mermaid managed to free Nathan from the kraken Sire of Abaddon’s tentacled grasp and drag him back to shore.

There Miranda had to hold back a thousand tears as she administered CPR to her beloved Nathan.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday October 7th
2017.

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