Mitlantecuhtli

February 9, 2020 at 11:55 pm (Mythology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Mictlantecuhtli

Mictlantecuhtli (or Lord of The Land of The Dead in Nahuatl the language of the Aztecs) was the Aztec god of death and the ruler of the Aztec underworld Mictlan. 

Mictlantecuhtli was closely associated with owls, spiders and bats.

As well as with the direction south.

In the Aztec creation myth, Mictlantecuhtli tried to delay the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl on his journey into Mictlan (the Land of the Dead).

Quetzalcoatl was searching for the bones of the creatures from the previous world of the 4th Sun in order to make mankind in this the aeon (age) of the 5th Sun.

Interestingly enough the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau of the Third Reich thought that mankind was currently living in the age of the 5th Sun.

In order to block Quetzalcoatl from making mankind, Mictlantecuhtli insisted that Quetzalcoatl could only take the bones (of the dead creatures from the previous world of the 4th Sun) if the feathered serpent god walked around the underworld 4 times blowing a conch-shell trumpet.

This seemingly easy task was made difficult by the fact that the god of the underworld gave Quetzalcoatl an ordinary conch-shell and so it would not sound.

Quetzalcoatl got around the problem by having worms drill holes in the shell and then placing bees inside it so that the horn would sound like a trumpet.

“Dem bones, dem bones going to rise again”, the bees inside the conch shell sang in musical harmony.

So Mictlantecuhtli let Quetzalcoatl have the bones.

But Mictlantecuhtli arranged for his assistants the Micteca to dig a large pit so that Quetzalcoatl would stumble into it when he tried to leave Mictlan.

Sure enough when passing the pit and unluckily startled by a passing quail (who was having a prophetic vision of being named a Vice-Presidential candidate by a drug producing bush in the distant future), Quetzalcoatl fell into the pit and the bones became scattered and broken like “cartoons in a cartoon graveyard” (and the only thing that would be resurrected would be Paul Simon’s musical career in the 1980s).

However Quetzalcoatl roused himself (by conjuring up images in his mind of what the future Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec would look like) and gathering up the bones he managed to extract himself from the pit and get away unscathed from the clutches of Mictlantecuhtli (a ballad about the whole incident is to be found in a collection of unpublished songs and forgotten recordings by Johnny Cash).

Once safely delivered to the goddess Cihaucoatl (the snake woman wearing the serpent skirt who was the Aztec earth mother goddess), the bones were mixed with Quetzalcoatl’s blood and from the mixture sprang forth the first men and women.

Cihuacoatl ground up the bones from the previous ages in a special blender (later used for making martinis in the modern age) and mixed them with Quetzalcoatl’s blood.

Those bones and blood were shaken not stirred.

As for Mictlantecuhtli, one day all souls would come face to face with him the Aztecs believed.

In the meantime, Mictlantecuhtli wears a costume of owl feathers and a necklace of eyeballs.

He would have probably been the talk of the town on Hollywood’s Oscar red carpet tonight if his plane hadn’t been shot down by a drone.

The drone had received erroneous information that it was Quetzalcoatl and not Mictlantecuhtli on board the plane.

And of course Quetzalcoatl was one and the same being as Jesus Christ according to Mormon Church teaching.

And therefore Quetzalcoatl would have been a deity revered by Utah Senator Mitt Romney.

For some mysterious reason, a person who had access to killer drones at his beck and call had it in for Mitt Romney and the Mormon deity of Quetzalcoatl/Christ.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday February 9th 
2020.

Cihuacoatl’s recipe: Ground round bones plus several dashes of Quetzalcoatl’s blood equals 5th Sun humanity

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Quetzalcoatl In The Amazon Rainforest

October 7, 2019 at 10:51 pm (Horror, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Quetzalcoatl In The Amazon Rainforest 

London based private eyes Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley continued their trek through the Amazon rainforest to see who was responsible for starting the fires there this past summer.

“I miss a pint of good English brown ale at the moment,” said Agathor Christie.

“I miss a nice steaming plate of Welsh rarebit,” answered Magog Rhys Petley.

“I miss all the hallucinogenic plants to be found in my part of the Amazon,” stated their indigenous guide in his native language.

They stumbled upon a clearing in the jungle.

A flying reptile dinosaur flew over them.

“Wow,” said an astonished Agathor Christie, “Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was right when he wrote his novel The Lost World about there being a lost world of dinosaurs to be found somewhere in the Amazon Rainforest.”

“Now Canadian blogger Dracul Van Helsing will know where to come to eat roast pterodactyl,” noted Magog Rhys Petley who had read the blogger’s Sunshine Blogger award post on one of those rare days when wireless internet was actually working in the Amazon Rainforest.

“That’s not a pterodactyl,” Agathor Christie remarked smugly, “That particular type of pterosaur that just just flew over us and unleashed his droppings on our guide… I’d wager to say that what he’s currently saying in his language are a whole bunch of expletives… that pterosaur is called a Quetzalcoatlus.”

“Well aren’t you the big know it all,” Magog spoke in sarcastic fashion.

“It comes from taking Paleontology as my Science option in University,” Agathor smiled.

Suddenly loud piercing screams came from another part of the clearing.

The trio looked in the direction of the screams and noticed a man dressed in ceremonial robes ripping the hearts out of people with an obsidian knife after they were placed on an altar.

A fierce looking creature then grabbed the hearts and ate them after they were ripped out of the sacrificial victims’ chests.

“What in the name of God is that?” Magog pointed at the fierce looking creature.

“That is the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl,” Agathor Christie once again smiled smugly.

“And how do you know that, all knowing one?” Magog was thinking of punching out his partner’s clock.

“I recognize him from illustrations and drawings,” Agathor continued to smile, “I took Mesoamerican Religions as my Religious Studies option back in University.”

They watched as the priest continued to rip out still beating hearts and gave them to Quetzalcoatl to eat.

“I wonder what Quetzalcoatl is doing in Brazil when he’s supposed to be in Mexico,” Agathor Christie scratched his head.

“Perhaps he downloaded the latest upgraded version of GPS app to his laptop and got hopelessly lost as a result,” Magog suggested.

The priest doing the sacrificing had a short wave radio next to the sacrificial altar on which this song was being played,

Bonnie Tyler singing, 

“Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 7th
2019.

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Michelangelo’s Vision of 2018 U.S. Midterm Elections

November 3, 2018 at 10:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, love, Mythology, News, Politics, Romance, Science, The Supernatural, TV Shows, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was back in the U.K. again after a brief one day Dia de Los Muertos visit to Mexico City where he videotaped the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec ripping out the live still beating heart of a horny sexually predatory and sexually harassing Google exec (one of many who had recently inspired a spate of Google employee strikes across the world).

Renfield then posted the video on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter where it went viral across the Net.

The video was the one thing Renfield did that met with the approval of the #MeTooMovement.

After watching the video, the unlamented former Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein woke up screaming in the night about having a dream of open heart surgery being performed on him without the use of anesthetic.

Another consequence was that Texas cowboys and gunslingers stopped falling in love with Mexican girls in cantinas out in the West Texas town of El Paso much to singer Marty Robbins’ displeasure.

After the burning of the heart was done in front of the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl (who because of his advanced age was starting to prefer his meat cooked well done rather than raw or rare these days), the Aztec deity (who was worshipped as Kukulkan by the Mayans) after eating the heart proceeded to sit down on a sofa with a bottle of tequila (containing inside it a worm in front of a biodegradable cardboard tombstone that had for an epitaph POE’S THE CONQUEROR WORM Conquered) in front of a television set and watched Orson Welles’ last film The Other Side of The Wind on Netflix.

Outside his Mexico City penthouse apartment, the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith performed one huge storm of a whirlwind as the vampire Lev Tomi (who in his mortal life had been Leon Trotsky) the head of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change gave a speech on climate change in the city.

Meanwhile back in Qonzilqointec’s penthouse suite on the other side of the street, the Aztec vampiress made out with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing engaging in BDSM foreplay and mystical magic tantric sex afterwards.

Renfield flew back to Britain from Mexico listening to the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper and Magical Mystery Tour albums on his airplane headphones while eating a nice dinner of curried lamb and curried goats’ legs on Manitoba wild rice.

Back at the CERN Large Hadron Collidor tunnel in Switzerland, the Hindu destroyer and transformer god Shiva was trying to make a curried dinner out of hubris ridden CERN scientists who had just uncovered a “ghost particle” that was about to upset the equilibrium balance of the entire cosmos.

A result of all this was that scientist Stephen Hawking was turning over on his barbeque spit in Tartarus and very much regretting the fact that he had written THERE IS NO GOD in his last book.

His mother’s favourite expression “Famous Last Words” never rang so true as now.

As soon as Renfield R. Renfield walked through the front door of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion, his friend Amadeus Emanon informed him of a vision that Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had had in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises laboratories.

“Michelangelo foresees widespread violence, shootings and stabbings at polling stations across America on U.S. mid-term election day,” Amadeus stated.

“I’m not surprised,” Renfield admitted, “I imagine in future U.S. elections, the UN will have to bring in observers from the Afghan Taliban and militant sectarian groups in Iraq to make sure that future American elections are conducted in a less violent and more peaceful manner.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday November 3rd
2018.

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Santa Muerte Dances Among The Corpses In The Streets

August 3, 2018 at 11:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Santa Muerte Dances Among The Corpses In The Street

In the Mexican village of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe, there was not a living soul on the streets.

Just a bunch of bodies of men, women and children with their heads, arms and legs hacked off.

They had decided as a village to take a stand against the Disciples of Santa Muerte drug cartel which controlled the entire province.

The result was they met their deaths in a most cruel and inhumane manner.

Q-Amon the secret head behind the Colombian drug cartels had flown from Columbia into Mexico to make a personal example of this village.

The message would run clear throughout the entire Americas- do not cross the drug cartels.

Santa Muerte (the female Saint Death- actually Samael the Talmudic Archangel of Death dressed in drag as a spectral drag queen) came to the village of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe to celebrate 🎉 🎊.

He had gone to the city of Chihuahua to pick up the haunted mannequin known as La Pascualita.

La Pascualita was also called the Corpse Bride of Mexico.

She had stood on display in a store window for over 80 years in the city of Chihuahua having made its storefront debut on March 25th 1930.

The female shop owner at the time had recently lost her daughter in a wedding day incident.

She had been bitten by a black widow spider 🕷 hours before she was due to wed her fiancé.

Some locals claimed the mannequin in the window was not a real mannequin at all but the shop owner’s dead daughter stuffed and perfectly preserved.

They said the mannequin was the spitting image of the daughter.

The mannequin was said by locals to dance in the store at night.

The mannequin would change positions in the shop window with no one near it.

Her eyes would look right at passing onlookers.

The mannequin’s hands are very realistic:

She even has varicose veins on her legs.

Santa Muerte (in the days when he/she was still Samael the masculine Archangel of Death) had fallen in love with 😍 Pascualita and had intended to raise objections at the wedding ceremony requesting that she marry him instead.

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith the jealous ex-wife of Samael (she had been married to Samael many millenia ago) appeared to Pascualita and said she’d lend the bride to be her valuable necklace.

Pascualita gratefully accepted.

The trouble was the necklace had a living black widow spider 🕷 attached to it which bit Pascualita and she died.

With Pascualita the haunted mannequin and bride corpse of Mexico in his/her arms, Santa Muerte/Samael danced with her in the bloody streets of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe amongst the corpses.

As they danced, Santa Muerte sang that old David Bowie song Let’s Dance 💃🏻,

Let’s dance (Santa Muerte bowed to Pascualita)
Put on your red shoes (Pascualita dipped her black shoes into the red blood turning them red 👠) and dance the blues (the ghost of one of Mexico’s leading Elvis impersonators danced in blue suede shoes)
Let’s dance (Pascualita and Santa Muerte dance with one another)
To the song they’re playing on the radio (the ghost of a 1930 General Electric GE H-51 console radio appeared and played the Soviet National Anthem as heard on Radio Moscow)
Let’s sway
(Pascualita and Santa Muerte sway back and forth in the desert midnight breeze)
Sway through the crowd to an empty space
(But there are so many bodies on the street, they’re unable to find an empty place)

If you say run (they run to a holographic image of Donald Trump’s proposed wall beamed to earth by NASA satellite 🛰)
I’ll run with you (Santa Muerte chases after her like a ballet dancer in Swan Lake)
And if you say hide
We’ll hide (Edward Hyde of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde fame appears alongside them)
Because my love for you
would break my heart into two
(The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec appears with an obsidian knife and cuts Santa Muerte’s heart out ripping it in two and feeding both pieces to her spiritual godfather the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl)
If you should fall into my arms
And tremble like a flower
(Pascualita falls into his arms, trembles and then dies and 88 year old roses 🌹 fall out of her wedding dress and crumble into dust which is blown away by the desert wind)

Let’s dance
Let’s dance
For fear your grace should fall
(A silver cross falls from Pascualita’s neck)
Let’s dance
For fear tonight is all
(Demons emerge from the desert and start to feed on the corpses in the village streets)
Let’s sway
(Santa Muerte sways with Pascualita’s limp corpse in his arms)
You could look into my eyes
(Pascualita raises her head and looks into Santa Muerte’s eyes)
Let’s sway
(They sway back and forth like candles flickering in the wind as a figure who looks like Sir Elton John appears and starts to weep)
Under the moonlight, this serious moonlight
(The former Egyptian Pharaoh Q-Amon appears on a distant hill, turns into a jackal and howls in the moonlight as blood falls from his fangs on to the village below)

And if you say run
I’ll run with you…

(Rivers of blood run and flow through the streets of the village of Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe)

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 3rd 2018.

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Renfield At London’s Heathrow Airport

April 12, 2017 at 3:30 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield R. Renfield the Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for Set Enterprises was waiting in line at London’s Heathrow Airport to check in for his flight.

Renfield was en route to Caracas Venezuela where he was to meet with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec and put the finishing touches on a plot to overthrow the government of Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro.

Qonzilqointec’s spiritual godfather the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl had said that he was willing to leave his beloved Mexico for a few months and serve as Venezuela’s interim President until such time as new elections were called.

As Renfield looked out the window of the airport lounge, he noticed a bunch of bloodied, bruised and injured passengers lying outside on the airport tarmac.

“Good God,” he said to a lounge hostess, “has a terrorist attack just occurred at Heathrow?”.

“Oh no, sir,” the lounge hostess shook her head, “nothing like that. United Airlines overbooked one of its flights again. And those people down there are passengers who refused to volunteer to give up their seats and had to be removed off the plane.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 12th
2017.

United Airlines Passenger Assaulted
United Airlines: United we stand, divided we fall.

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Pan Goatee and The Feathered Serpent

April 5, 2016 at 8:51 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee and The Winged Serpent

Pan Goatee was busy cutting off the heads of ugly women who were out walking their dogs (the four-legged kind) the past few nights.

“I’ve never seen so many dogs out walking their dogs,” Pan Goatee remarked as he lopped off repulsive looking heads left, right and center.

He lopped off the head of one ugly looking woman who thought she could actually race him across the street at a stop light.

And then lopped off the head of another ugly looking woman who tried to enter his favourite oyster and sushi bar before him.

As he sat enjoying eating his oysters and thinking about the beautiful Aphrodite possibly emerging from one of his oyster shells, he got a call on his Samsung Galaxy S7 Smart Phone.

It came from a wealthy Neo-Nazi sympathizing German industrialist and arms manufacturer who was backing Donald Trump’s race for the U.S. Presidency.

It had come to the industrialist’s attention that the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl and his goddaughter the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec were trying to forge an alliance with Mitt Romney to stop Trump winning the Republican Party Presidential nomination.

A CIA agent (who surprisingly was pro-Bernie Sanders) was going to serve as go-between for a proposed Phoenix, Arizona summit meeting between the 3.

The agent whose name was actually Johnny Begood would apparently be playing the part of a masked Saquasohuh (Blue Star) Kachina dancer in a ritual ceremony in the plaza of a Hopi Indian village in northeastern Arizona tonight.

The industrialist asked Pan Goatee if he wouldn’t mind astral projecting to this village and bumping off the said pro-Bernie Sanders CIA agent.

Pan Goatee said “yes for a fee of one million Euros” to which the German industrialist agreed.

The money would be wired to Pan Goatee’s British Virgin Islands offshore account.

As Pan Goatee put his smart phone back in his pocket, he breathed a sigh of relief that he decided to use the British Virgin Islands for his offshore bank accounts rather than Panama in lieu of the leaking of the Panama Papers at Panamanian law firm Mossack Fonseca.

Pan Goatee then astral projected to the said village at the Hopi reservation in northeastern Arizona.

He noticed the man wearing the Saquasohuh Blue Star Kachina bird costume (though he hadn’t put on his bird’s head mask yet) and deduced this must be CIA agent Johnny Begood.

Pan Goatee immediately beheaded the man with his machete.

At that moment a beautiful (which was a good thing for her being in the presence of Pan Goatee) Hopi girl (about 19) who was going to play the role of tribal princess in tonight’s ceremony walked into the room and said, “Why did you do that? He was supposed to dance for our ceremony tonight and now we have no one.”

“I think this costume would fit me,” Pan Goatee said looking down at Begood’s body, “I could put it on and do the dance.”

“All right,” said the Hopi princess looking at her watch, “Hurry up and put it on. We just have half an hour. It will take 5 minutes for you to get the costume on and then another 25 minutes for me to teach you the dance- assuming you’re a quick learner.”

“I’m a quick learner,” Pan Goatee flashed a smile which was whiter than usual since he had started using an ultra-bright whitening toothpaste a week ago.

So Pan Goatee put the costume on and then learned the dance and then went out into the plaza of the village where he did the dance.

He was starting to feel extremely hot under the mask (having put a little too much Tabasco sauce on his oysters) so he took off the mask.

The Hopi elders noticed a CNN news crew and a Fox News crew and a BBC News crew there filming the ceremony.

“Oh my God,” one of the elders cried, “a Kachina has removed his mask in the presence of the uninitiated.”

“This means the beginning of the Apocalypse,” another elder shouted.

Anderson Cooper gulped as he looked at the live feed.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 5th
2016.

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Pan Goatee’s Ongoing Efforts To Make The World A More Beautiful Place To Live

March 2, 2016 at 8:38 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee’s Ongoing Efforts To Make The World A More Beautiful
Place To Live

“Jesus fucking H. Christ, that woman’s repulsively ugly,” serial killer and U.S. government contract assassin Pan Goatee thought to himself when he noticed the walking outhouse droppings ugly woman cyclist standing at the corner holding on to her bicycle (what incredibly bad deeds had this ill-fated bicycle done in a past incarnation that assigned him such an incredibly Hellish fate of karma in this lifetime?).

One thing that Pan Goatee had noted in his existence since he was genetically created in a lab as a reborn satyr from Greek mythology 3 years ago was that most women cyclists were quite repulsively ugly.

He didn’t know why (the more Sherlock Holmesian inclined genetic creation Renfield R. Renfield would have deduced that it was probably because beautiful women got driven to and fro in luxury automobiles owned by guys while of course the ugly women didn’t).

As such brainless big city mayors shouldn’t be shutting down lanes of streets, roads and highways to allow for more bicycle lanes and paths.

This only encouraged the ugly of the world to leave their rooms and closets and dark holes (where they belonged!) and go out and about in the external world (ruining everyone’s day when they were confronted with the sight of such disgraceful aesthetic abominations of nature gone horribly and terribly wrong).

As the ugly cyclist walked by, Pan Goatee lopped off her ugly head with a machete.

“You stupid ugly looking piece of shit,” Pan Goatee shouted, “I’m going to make an example of you..”

He then used the machete to chop her entire body up into thinly sliced pieces of flesh and bone on the street.

A Japanese tourist filmed the whole thing with his smart phone and posted it on line.

The video went viral.

“I like this guy,” Renfield R. Renfield commented as he ate some popcorn and got a blow job from an admittedly beautiful woman.

“I like this guy,” former U.S. President Bill Clinton said as he watched the video on a desktop computer.

“Bill, what are you doing?” Hillary screamed as she entered the office, “and what is that young female campaign intern doing between your legs?”.

“I have no idea, dear,” Bill gulped, “I didn’t even know she was down there. I swear. I did not have…”

“I like this guy,” the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl said as he watched the popular YouTube video while eating a bucket of human hearts and a bucket of KFC at the same time.

As he licked his fingers and wondered where his wet wipe finger tissues got to, he contemplated the idea of a Trump Presidency and wondered whether a wall built along the Mexico-U.S. border would block easy access to the Aztec gold that America Unearthed History Channel TV host Scott Wolter claimed was secretly buried somewhere in the American state of Utah.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 2nd
2016.

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Quetzalcoatl On Valentine’s Day: A Poem

February 14, 2016 at 8:43 pm (Folklore, Horror, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Quetzalcoatl On Valentine’s Day

Quetzalcoatl saw the lovers Mary Lou and Bob.
He decided to intervene being a dark godly snob.
He introduced himself singing, “Hello, Mary Lou. Good-bye heart.”
And so Mary Lou did depart
no longer in Bob’s hand was her heart.
The dark deity now held it aloft
and down his throat it went followed by cough.
Bob’s heart was soon united with her
they were together where the deity’s stomach did purr.

-A poem written by Christopher
Sunday February 14th, 2016.

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Haiku Sung By Quetzalcoatl For Grace Just Before Dinner

February 13, 2016 at 9:15 pm (Folklore, Horror, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Haiku Sung By Quetzalcoatl For Grace Just Before Dinner

You gotta have heart
miles and miles and miles of heart
for this we give thanks

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Quetzalcoatl: These Hearts Won’t Go On and On

February 12, 2016 at 8:28 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Quetzalcoatl: These Hearts Won’t Go On And On

The Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl was feeling famished.

He was on his goddaughter the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec’s ranch in Mexico having just flown in from Havana, Cuba where he had been eavesdropping on the conversation between Pope Francis and Russian Orthodox Church Moscow Patriarch Kirill at Jose Marti International Airport.

Quetzalcoatl was now in the barn eating a bunch of fresh human hearts to regain his strength.

The ranch hands had captured a tourist bus and brought the tourists to Quetzalcoatl to rip open their chests and eat their hearts.

The tourist bus capture and the vanished passengers could easily be blamed as an abduction on narco-fighter gang members of the Mexican drug cartels (making the drug thugs good for something in Quetzalcoatl’s opinion).

“You deserve a break today at McDonald’s,” Quetzalcoatl sang cheerfully as he ripped out the heart of a Scottish tourist.

There was a sudden tapping as of someone rapping, gently rapping at the barnyard door.

” ‘Tis some visitor,” Quetzalcoatl muttered, “tapping at the barnyard door- only this and nothing more.”

Quetzalcoatl opened the door and standing there was a pair of young men dressed in white shirts with black ties and black dress pants.

“My friend,” one of the young men spoke up as he held in his hands a copy of the Book of Mormon, “have you heard about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and read Another Testament of Jesus Christ- the Book of Mormon?”.

Quetzalcoatl stood there at the barn door and said nothing.

As the two young Mormon missionaries stood there and noticed fresh blood dripping down the chin of Quetzalcoatl’s gargantuan grotesque serpentine bird like face and then noticed all the bodies and ripped out hearts on the barn floor behind him, both young men simultaneously made the Sherlockian deduction that now was probably not the best time to share the good news about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and Another Testament of Jesus Christ- the Book of Mormon.

The Mormon missionaries leapt on to their respective bicycles and vigourously pedaled off the ranch in the direction of Mexico City.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday February 12th
2016.

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