Xi, Justin, Renfield and That Damned Dam

July 15, 2020 at 10:40 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was reading a Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit report on what was currently happening in the People’s Republic of China.

It appeared that the Xi Jinping regime in Beijing was deliberately releasing floodwater from the spillway on the Three Gorges Dam to flood the city of Wuhan and a few other cities.

There was of course heavy rainfall that was going on in the region and the Xi regime would naturally blame the flooding and subsequent deaths on the weather.

But it would appear that the majority of the flooding was in fact being caused by the deliberate releasing of floodwater on the dam’s spillway.

“What the Hell is Xi Jinping doing?” Renfield asked Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster who was in a nearby lobster tank.

Michelangelo shrugged his lobster claws.

He had been trying to psychically probe Xi Jinping’s evil genius mind but his efforts were being blocked by the sinister looking face of an evil Black Dragon spirit entity.

On the television set in the room that both MP and lobster were in, Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau on the screen said that he did not think that the Two Michaels (Two Canadians Michael Kovrig and Michael Spavor who were arrested and detained in China in December 2018 shortly after Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou was arrested at Vancouver International Airport by Canadian authorities at the request of the U.S. State Department) were in any grave danger as he sat and twiddled his thumbs while Canada’s slow moving justice system heard the extradition case involving Meng which would probably involve years of appeals and eventually wind up in the Supreme Court of Canada while the Two Michaels would spend their time enjoying the hospitality to be found in a Communist Chinese prison.

Justin had spent much of his first term in office as Prime Minister interfering with Canada’s judicial system in an effort to save a corrupt Quebec construction firm from criminal prosecution.

Now the inept failed former High School Drama teacher (best known for putting on blackface) said, “It is unCanadian to interfere with the independence of our judicial system. So I will not trade Meng for the two Michaels.”

“Idiot,” Renfield thought and then the news showed a brief news story and film footage about an entire Chinese family being swept way in the floods that hit their city.

Like Stalin’s enforced famine on Ukrainian farmers in the years 1932-33, the floods hitting China in this early summer of 2020 was a man-made phenomenon (caused by deliberately releasing floodwater on the Three Gorges dam’s spillway).

Xi’s ass was being helped by heavy natural rainfall in the region and so the world wouldn’t raise a heap of protect.

Because, Renfield noted, the world was being distracted by the bioweapon virus that had accidentally been released by the Wuhan Institute of Virology.

That is, Renfield thought, if it was an accident.

With a homicidal maniac like Xi on the world stage, one could never be sure.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 15th
2020.

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‘Woke’ Zombies of The Apocalypse: Jacobin Terror Revisited

June 17, 2020 at 10:41 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

A group of reporters were social distancing in British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s office waiting for the parliamentarian to come out of his inner office and make a statement on the ongoing Neo-Bolshevik insurrection in America and its accompanying sympathetic protests in Britain.

How a movement that started out as peaceful protests against racism and police brutality had also produced a side movement of rioting and looting and the violent overthrow of all vestiges of the past promising a nebulous future which the ‘Woke’ zombies of the apocalypse assured everyone would be so much better than today.

The politicians who seemed to be the most sympathetic to the violent looting and rioting ‘Woke’ zombies of the Apocalypse were also those who were most in favour of keeping their citizens under perpetual lockdown and quarantine.

But then Commies of a feather always oppress together (when they’re not out in the streets re-enacting the Jacobin Reign of Terror).

Meanwhile inside his inner office, Renfield was reading the news that his favourite brand of pancake syrup was being taken off the market.

“What? No more Aunt Jemima?” Renfield exclaimed, “What happened? Did a pair of white cops kneel on her neck and then shoot her? Just wait until I get my hands on those cops.’

Renfield’s parliamentary assistant Mirabella Francesca Franconia then shooed the reporters out of the parliamentary office into the parliamentary hallway.

She didn’t want her boss getting in hot water again like he was prone to do.

Meanwhile outside on the streets of London, a courier for Brucie’s Baloney Parlour had just been run over by Boris Johnson’s motorcade when he held up a sign in front of it saying There Is No Civil War Going On In Syria.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 17th
2020.

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Theresa May Announces Her Resignation On Queen Victoria’s 200th Birthday

May 24, 2019 at 8:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The date was May 24th 2019.

It was Queen Victoria’s 200th birthday.

And British Prime Minister Theresa May stood in front of 10 Downing Street in London and announced that she would be resigning as British Conservative Party leader effective June 7th 2019.

From then on, she would carry on as a caretaker Prime Minister until the British Conservative Party elected a new leader in July.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield met in a pub not far from the Westminster Parliament with his friends Amadeus Emanon and Angelique Dumont to discuss the resignation.

“I didn’t think she’d announce her resignation until next month,” Amadeus commented as he worked on his 3rd plate of the pub’s steak and kidney pie.

“Neither did I,” Renfield sipped his pint of brown ale, “I’ve been told that the Prime Minister decided to resign after apparently looking at an oil painting of an 18th Century Irish pirate of the Caribbean that former Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson had given her as a gift.”

“That must have been one Hell of a picture,” Angelique remarked.

“It must have been,” Renfield admitted.

“So, who do you think will replace her?” Amadeus asked as he ordered a 4th piece of steak and kidney pie.

“Well, the London bookmakers seemed to favour Boris Johnson,” Renfield ate his rice pudding, “and the fact that the pro-globalist and pro-New World Order The Economist Magazine came out against Boris Johnson as Prime Minister is another plus in his favour. For what’s bad for The Economist is good for Britain. And what’s bad for Britain is good for The Economist.”

“I’ve noticed that The Economist has never had anything positive to say about you,” Amadeus ordered himself another Shirley Temple children’s cocktail.

“Which is why I rest my case on the matter,” Renfield washed down the last of his brown ale.

Meanwhile at 10 Downing Street, the residence’s staff were putting up a painting of Captain Kerry Donegal in the main hall.

A temporary location until Mrs. May moved out of 10 Downing Street.

“It’s like staring into a mirror,” the ghost of the pirate Captain Kerry Donegal remarked as he looked at the painting.

“Good God!” Mrs. May exclaimed as she walked down the hall.

It turned out that unbeknownst to herself until now, the Prime Minister had the psychic ability to see ghosts of pirates.

Mrs. May went weak at the knees and fainted.

As she lay on the floor she dreamed of a Harlequin historical romance novel book cover in which she appeared held in the arms of a pirate with an open shirt and a muscular hairless chest.

“That’s the first time I’ve seen Mrs. May look happy all day,” 10 Downing Street’s head butler remarked.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 24th
2019.

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Dashwood Forrest Meets Captain Kerry Donegal

May 22, 2019 at 9:51 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Dashwood Forrest was in his art gallery putting the finishing touches in hanging paintings for a new exhibition that would soon be opening.

“A remarkable likeness,” said the ghost of Captain Kerry Donegal who had just walked in off the street.

Forrest, who was somewhat psychically sensitive, turned to gaze at the speaker and noticed how much he resembled the figure in the painting.

“Captain Jack Sparrow!” Forrest gasped.

“Actually the name is Captain Kerry Donegal!” The pirate bowed, “But a few other people with the ability to see me around London have called me by that name.”

Former British Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson entered the gallery at that moment.

“Hello, Dashwood,” Johnson walked right through Kerry Donegal’s ghost since he couldn’t see him, “my sources tell me that you have a painting of Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow for sale.”

“I’ve just been told by an expert that it’s Captain Kerry Donegal,” Forrest mentioned.

“Well, whoever,” Johnson looked at the painting, “I’ve just been told on the highest authority that British Prime Minister Theresa May goes into orgasm whenever she sees a handsome looking pirate. No wonder the boys in Brussels were able to sweep her off her feet and get a Brexit deal to their liking and not to Britain’s. Although I’ve been told by an old school chum of mine that the boys in Brussels aren’t all that handsome. I wonder why he’d take note of that. Fills one with trepidation when I recall we shared a locker together in the school gymnasium’s shower and changing room.”

“You want to buy this painting for Theresa May?” The flower dropped out of Dashwood Forrest’s lapel.

“Yes,” Johnson nodded, “as a good-bye present. The old girl is undoubtedly on her way out. She’ll undoubtedly fail in her 4th attempt to get a Brexit deal passed through Parliament. Hell, even Renfield R. Renfield’s British Transhumanist Party is now ahead of the British Conservatives in the opinion polls for the upcoming European Parliament elections. I’m not sure how much more humiliation she can take. So she’ll probably resign soon. I’m sure this painting of a pirate captain will lift her spirits as she exits 10 Downing Street while I’m on my way in.”

“Hasn’t this fellow ever heard that expression, Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched?” Captain Kerry Donegal asked in a thick Irish brogue.

“Did you feel a breeze just then?” Johnson looked around.

“Come to the office and I’ll write you up a Bill of Sale,” said Forrest.

“I’m sure it was this question of the Irish backdoor that did her in on Brexit,” Johnson remarked.

“Don’t you mean the Irish backstop?” Forrest asked.

“Oh yes, of course,” Johnson nodded, “why did I have Irish backdoor on my mind?” .

He once again walked through Captain Kerry Donegal’s ghost as the pirate was bending over to pick up his sword.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 22nd
2019.

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Thailand’s King Vajiralongkorn Marries His Bodyguard Making Her Queen

May 2, 2019 at 8:30 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

In an effort to get British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield out of the United Kingdom while she embarked on the next round of Brexit negotiations, British Prime Minister Theresa May had sent Renfield on a diplomatic mission to Thailand on behalf of the British government.

Thanks to a prophetic vision seen by Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster at Set Enterprises, Renfield discovered that Thai King Maha Vajiralongkorn also known by the title King Rama X would be marrying his bodyguard and royal consort General Sutidha Vajiralongkorn Na Ayudha in a surprise wedding ceremony yesterday.

In 2014, King Vajiralongkorn had appointed Sutidha Tijai, a former flight attendant for Thai Airways, as the deputy commander of his bodyguard unit. He made her a full general in the Thai Army in December 2016.

Renfield brought along wedding gifts for the couple- a croquet set once owned by Britain’s King George V for His Majesty King Maha Vajiralongkorn and a silver tea service once owned by King George V’s wife Queen Mary for Her Majesty Queen Sutidha.

Upon hearing of Renfield’s gift, a Thai cabinet minister had invited Renfield to play croquet today at his private garden and croquet court.

Renfield knew nothing whatsoever of playing croquet of course.

So needless to say, the Thai cabinet minister won the match by an overwhelming score.

However on the plus side, Renfield’s ineptness in thinking that he was playing cricket rather than croquet did knock out the entire coterie of Russian spies who had been sent to spy on the British politician by Vladimir Putin (who considered the British MP a major nuisance).

The balls went over the cabinet minister’s estate wall and by coincidental good fortune, struck all of them on the side of the head knocking them out cold.

As Putin sat in his office, he wondered to himself why he wasn’t getting an update from his operatives on what Renfield was currently doing.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 2nd
2019.

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