Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI To Receive Forced Vaccination

January 12, 2021 at 10:35 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Sorcery, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

“The best argument against taking the vaccine is the fact that the Communist “Pope” Francis says everyone should take it.”
-Renfield R. Renfield British MP

As another part of the ongoing tyranny descending upon the world in the form of a dark lifeless mist ever since the spiritual/political virus known as Covid Communism descended upon the world in the wake of Xi Jinping’s Chinese Communist Party releasing a bioengineered weapon from the Wuhan Institute of Virology (whether intentional or accidental), the tyranny now extended to Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI who did not wish to receive the vaccine but the Vatican decided he’d be given a mandatory vaccine against his will.

The news reached the attention of British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

He discussed it with Athelstan the personal butler and valet to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

“I’m now formulating a plan with my field operatives in my personal British Army brigade of gurkhas to break into the Vatican and rescue Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI before he’s given the DeathVaxx as Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher calls it,” Renfield explained.

“Break into the Vatican?” Athelstan raised an eyebrow, “But isn’t that place well guarded?”.

“It is,” Renfield nodded, “But you must remember that this will be a whole brigade of gurkhas attacking them. There aren’t too many guards on Earth who can hold out against an entire brigade of gurkhas. The only thing is that there may be demons guarding the Vatican according to the latest Set Enterprises Intelligence report. Still if there is any mortal warrior on Earth capable of kicking a demon’s ass, it would be a gurkha.”

“Good luck with that, sir,” Athelstan remarked as he went off to prepare a tray of tea and crumpets for Set.

Meanwhile in the woods outside the vampiress Lilith’s palatial estate near Astana, Kazakhstan:

Golgotha daughter of the vampiress Lilith with her pet raven Ancient Mariner’s Albatross on her shoulder

“Listen, Alby,” she called him by her pet name for him, “Listen to the silence but soon the world will be crawling with zombie nosferatu.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 12th
2020.

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Nancy Pelosi: A Soviet State For 4 Horses

January 9, 2021 at 11:32 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, war) (, , , , )

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was asleep in his aquarium at Set Enterprises Laboratories in London, England.

He suddenly had a dream (or was it a vision?) of British MP Renfield R. Renfield fighting alongside anti-Communist forces in the 2nd American Civil War.

One of the Communists’ most pre-eminent “useful idiots” U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi had the misfortune of falling into the hands of Renfield’s brigade.

The punishment Renfield envisioned for Nancy Pelosi had been inspired by an old Hammer Films horror movie that starred Christopher Lee that he had seen a few months ago.

In the film Christopher Lee played an evil landowner.

Finally the peasants got sick of his despotic rule and revolted (“How revolting these deplorables are!” as an upper crust leftist snob like Hillary Clinton might put it).

They had tied Lee’s evil landlord character between 4 horses.

With an arm or leg in a rope attached to one of the 4 horses x 4 (One limb for each horse facing a different direction).

Finally the leader of the revolt whistled and each one of the 4 horses galloped in different directions (towards the 4 corners of the earth).

Lee’s evil landlord character found himself being ripped apart into 4 different pieces.

No doubt an exceedingly painful experience for a brief moment.

Nancy Pelosi had been stripped naked (Renfield had to put blindfolds on the 4 horses and on the men in his brigade so as not to be turned to stone by the awful sight).

Renfield himself wore a very dark and powerful pair of welder’s sunglasses so he could see to direct the operation but at the same time not to be turned to stone by the awful sight of a naked Nancy Pelosi who was wearing nothing but her stupid looking Covid mask.

As Nancy Pelosi now found each limb of her body in a rope tied to a horse, she suddenly realized she was in a very perilous situation.

To say nothing of her hair being a mess as she had been unable to book an appointment with her San Francisco hairstylist lately.

“Jesus of the Gnostic heretics, Pope Francis’ god of surprises!” She cried out, “How awful it is that my arms and legs are spread out like this.”

“For once,” Renfield was getting an image of all this despite the powerfulness of the welder’s dark glasses he was wearing, “You have said something that I’m in total agreement with.”

Renfield then spoke the signal to the 4 horses, “May Geronimo defeat and crush and wreak havoc and vengeance on the Skull and Bones Society.”

The 4 horses then bolted and rode off into 4 different directions.

From a Dodge Ram truck parked nearby, its radio could be heard playing that old Patsy Cline song, “I fall to pieces…”

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster woke up from his dream (or was it a vision?) in a sweat (adding further to the saltiness of the salt water he was in).

He went over to his waterproof iPhone, opened up his iPhone Notes and typed a note to himself to never ever get on Renfield’s wrong side.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday January 9th
2020.

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Lilith In The Graveyard Garden of Good and Evil

January 3, 2021 at 11:59 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Literature, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith in the graveyard garden of good and evil

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing another one of his Sunday night podcasts:

“Just an important historical note of interest, which if shown to be correct, will be noted by future historians.
Here’s the gist:
A final political showdown is coming January 6th as the U.S. Congress meets to elect CCP stooge Joe Biden as President.
The 1st American Civil War began on April 12th 1861 just 13 days after the previous Easter Sunday (March 31st 1861).
Will the 2nd American Civil War begin on January 7th 2021 just 13 days after the previous Christmas Day?
History has a strange way of balancing itself out in such occurrences.”
-Renfield R. Renfield British MP

. . .

The body of Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was rushed from Dublin Ireland to London England by the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis powered dirigible airship the High Calypso.

It was assumed that the cause of Yaldabaoth’s death was the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka wearing a killer outfit.

However after an operation carried out by a surgical suit wearing Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster wearing a surgical mask and using his surgical gloved lobster claws to perform an incision, it was determined that the cause of death was Yaldabaoth’s eating poisoned lutefisk.

After a quick check of the Irish High King Brian Boru’s Medieval Treatise On Leprechaun Ailments (a copy of which was found in the billionaire vampire Set’s library and rare book collection), apparently eating poisoned lutefisk was one of the few things that could kill a usually immortal leprechaun.

After visualizing London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes wearing a killer outfit (which caused his lobster tank to explode), Michelangelo went into a trance and saw the circumstances which led to Yaldabaoth’s death.

Apparently after visiting the CERN Large Hadron Collidor tunnel in Switzerland, Yaldabaoth had gone to Rome to see the Vatican’s ugly looking Nativity display (which was put up to welcome the arrival of an alien ET saviour who graduated with a degree in New York School of Art Abstract Surrealist and Neo-Modernist Studies).

After barfing all over the Vatican Nativity display, Yaldabaoth then wandered the halls of the Vatican.

At first he thought he had entered a gay bath house but after viewing classical and Renaissance works of art in the halls and on the walls, the wee leprechaun deduced that he was indeed inside the Vatican.

Yaldabaoth went into a room where some Vatican Cardinals had prepared a New Year’s Day feast for their fellow cardinal Robert Cardinal Sarah of Guinea the prefect of the Vatican Congregation For Divine Worship and The Discipline of the Sacraments.

The feast, which consisted of large portions of poisoned Norwegian lutefisk, had been made by a group of atheistic Marxist Cardinals hoping to bump off Cardinal Robert Sarah who was a devout Catholic Christian.

Yaldabaoth, who was starting to feel hungry after having previously barfed all over the Vatican’s Nativity display, then proceeded to eat up all the poisoned lutefisk.

And in so doing saved Robert Cardinal Sarah’s life.

. . .


The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith next to Edgar Allan Poe’s grave in the cemetery of the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Baltimore Maryland

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was kneeling in the cemetery of the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Baltimore, Maryland.

She was kneeling in front of Edgar Allan Poe’s grave.

A group of mischievous Irish leprecauns living in Baltimore had put up Irish Celtic crosses atop Poe’s grave and graves next to it that would have caused the Ulster Irish Presbyterian pastor Rev. Ian Paisley of Belfast Northern Ireland to pull his hair out if he had still been alive and seen it.

It was a moonlit night in Baltimore, as billionaire Elon Musk who had just built himself an artificial moon and was giving a full moon trial test run over Baltimore on this lovely windswept evening, and so the moonlight shone down on top of Lilith in front of Poe’s burial place.

The artificial full moonlight of Elon Musk’s artificial moon was causing mysterious looking red roses to grow all over the cemetery.

A raven flew down atop Poe’s gravemarker and croaked “Nevermore”.

Indeed it would be the last time the Raven would croak Nevermore for he croaked shortly thereafter.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday December 3rd
2021.

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Renfield’s EU Vote, The Vaccine Recipient and Social Media CEOs Perform Satanic Child Sacrifice

December 30, 2020 at 11:16 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was in the House of Commons to vote on the EU-Britain Brexit Trade Bill.

A few security guards objected to his not wearing a mask so he shot them.

Back in 2017, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II had granted Renfield one of those rare licenses to kill (like James Bond 007 had) after he saved one of her Welsh corgis from drowning in a swimming pool.

Thus people, after Renfield had killed his 7th security guard of the day, started getting out of his way as he approached.

Renfield publicly announced he was abstaining on the vote as he hadn’t had time to read the massive multi-page document to see if it was good for the British people.

“This might have been a last minute Christmas Eve turkey that 10 Downing Street was hoping to hoist on the British people,” Renfield pointed out, “to match the massive turkey egg that Johnson had earlier laid on the British public when he decided to cancel Christmas.”

Renfield then said that as Prime Minister of a majority government, Johnson seemed to be acting less of the Classics major at Oxford that he claimed to be and more like a Sociology major at Berkeley.

Johnson shouted that he had never been so insulted in all his life to which Renfield replied that he should get out more often.

. . .

Harold’s wife Carolyn was an NHS worker.

As a front line worker, she had just last night received the vaccine for the Coronavirus.

Harold had heard a row late last night and when he opened the door, he discovered that it was his wife kicking cats and dogs down the street.

She poured his casserole down the garburator and proceeded to eat all the house plants including the cactus, the prize winning orchids and his mother’s favourite chrysanthemums.

And the biggest ambidextra in the world was no longer so big after she had belched down the last leaf.

Harold chose to sleep on the couch when he went to the bedroom and noticed that when she took her clothes off, she had grown several more arms and legs.

As Harold prayed for the arrival of Pan Goatee to bring deliverance, he was kept awake by the sound of brontosaurus mating calls and T-rex roars after being stabbed by a triceratops horn that came from the bedroom.

When his wife opened the door, she looked like a baby brontosaurus with a t-rex head with a triceratops horn growing out of her forehead.

The children arrived from staying at Grandma’s at that moment and Carolyn ripped off their heads, arms and legs prior to eating them.

Renfield’s radio broadcast came on the radio at that moment saying that a little publicized WHO directive was telling people not to be alarmed by the number of deaths that will be caused by receiving the vaccine.

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was in his aquarium at Set Enterprises where he was having a vision of the social media tech giant CEOs meeting on a private island to perform satanic child sacrifices.

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki, Google CEO Sundar Pichai and Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey were all wearing dark robes and carrying long daggers.

Their lips and mouths were stained with blood after hours of feasting on the parts of dead babies sacrificed to Moloch.

On the large drive-in movie theatre screen in front of them, they received greetings from Joe Biden, Rep. Nancy Pelosi, New York Sen. Chuck Schumer, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam and California Gov. Gavin Newsom who all wished they were there.

They likewise received a video message from Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping who also wished that he could be there but he was currently paying a courtesy visit to the Sexually Transmitted Diseases Clinic in Beijing.

Dr.Anthony Fauci likewise sent his greetings and said he agreed with the PLA’s Biological Warfare Commander’s statement that the Novel Coronavirus was not a synthetic virus created by uniting genetic sequences from the SARS-2 virus and the HIV virus forming a recurring chimera hybrid virus that the world will never be able to get rid of.

And the world’s choice was now everyone could die in a global prison.

Or they could live freely until the last person on earth finally keeled over from the virus.

Most people who would soon be idiotically greeting one another with wishes of Happy New Year were totally oblivious to the choice they could now make.

Instead the world’s self-proclaimed elite would decide it for them (everyone in the global prison with promises of a return to normal soon) as they gathered in homage to Lucifer/Satan the being who said he was from another planet and would be taking them the self-proclaimed elite there shortly.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday December 30th
2020.

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Mephistopheles Leaves Joe Biden’s Body Temporarily For Secret Meeting With Kamala Harris

December 29, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

“Those who are adherents, followers and disciples of the united Deutero-Nazi Fourth Reich/USSR 2.0 New World Order One World Government (aka the Great Reset) now being imposed upon the world are easy to spot. They’re the ones wearing masks.”
-British MP Renfield R. Renfield

Renfield was finishing up his podcast by mentioning a news story about a disabled U.S. war vet who was beat up by people wearing masks in a shopping mall because he refused to wear a mask saying he “wasn’t disabled fighting for freedom in order to return home and be told that he didn’t have the freedom to breathe freely.”
After being beaten, he was then thrown to the ground and arrested by Deutero-Nazi stormtrooper mall security guards.

“What is the difference between these mask wearing thugs and stormtroopers and the terrorists of Leon Trotsky’s Bolshevik Red Army and Adolf Hitler’s Brown Shirts, SS and Gestapo?” Renfield asked and then answered, “Absolutely nothing.”

Renfield then noted that over 30 odd years of Star Wars films had wholeheartedly failed to clue in “the stupidest generation ever.”

“What was the first thing Anakim Skywalker/Darth Vader and the Empire Stormtroopers did upon going over to the Dark Side?” Renfield noted, “Put on masks of course.”

. . .

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was paying an unauthorized tourist visit to the CERN Large Hadron Collidor tunnel in Switzerland.

What he saw outside the tunnel shook him to the core.

He dropped the William Tell arrowed apple that he was eating and took a second look.

He immediately got on the phone to Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

“Pete,” the wee leprechaun gasped, “There’s something unbelievable happening outside the CERN tunnel?”.

“What’s that?” Whitstable was examining a large fortune slip of paper that he had pulled out of a Great Pumpkin sized fortune cookie that purported to give details of the private sex life of Xi Jinping (the fictitious fortune had been in fact ghost written by the ghost of the Byzantine historian Procopius).

“The god Shiva is dancing outside the tunnel,” Yald (as the leprechaun was called for short) explained.

“Yald,” Whitstable ate an egg roll with a pair of chopsticks, “That’s not the actual god. That’s a statue of Shiva as Lord of The Dance.”

“There’s a statue here, sure,” Yald noted, “But there really is the actual god himself. Shiva. He’s dancing a Bavarian polka with the Irish Celtic goddess Morrigan while the Norse god Thor is playing the accordion and the Greek god Ares is playing the tuba.”

“Really?” Whitstable ate the Peking Hot and Sour Baked Alaska, “Can you take a photo and email that to me? I’d like to share that on my Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages.”

. . .

The fallen angel Mephistopheles (who demonically possessed Joe Biden’s body so that the senile old fool could make an intelligent sounding statement on occasion) had temporarily left the senile old fool’s body for a secret meeting with Kamala Harris.

They were meeting to discuss what should be done with Joe shortly after he was inaugurated.

Should Oprah and Dr. Phil hold a joint press conference on the front lawn of the White House and declare Joe clinically insane as he’s seen in the background being carried away in a straight jacket by secret service agents dressed as members of the Emperor Caligula’s Praetorian Guard?

Or should Joe meet with an accident aboard Air Force One as the door is “accidentally” left open at 5,000 feet in the air and Joe “accidentally” steps through it?

After briefly serving as President, Kamala would crown herself Queen of the Land.

A Communist Queen of course somewhat like the Kim Communist dynastic heriditary monarchy of North Korea except Kamala could reign for over 100 years as a Communist transhuman.

She would adopt the title the White Queen to appease (closeted White Supremacist) eugenicist Bill Gates.

As for her name as Queen, she’d take a name to honour her predecessor Joe Biden and herself Kamala Harris.

She’d take the letters J and d from Joe Biden’s name and the letters “a” and “is” from her own name Kamala Harris to form the name Jadis which would be the name of the White Queen who’d rule for at least 100 years.

In a world where, as C.S. Lewis observed, “It would be always winter and never Christmas”.

The way had been prepared for it by Bill Gates, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Pope Francis and various political leaders all over the globe cancelling Christmas for 2020.

As Joe Biden himself had said, “It will be a long dark winter ahead.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday December 29th
2020.

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Exposed: Krampus’ Christmas Eve 2020 Kidnapping of Santa

December 26, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

As everyone knows Santa Claus lives at the North Pole.

Of course Santa Claus isn’t his original name.

The original name of the extremely tall and very fat elf was Caerthalian.

However Caerthalian was so impressed with the saintly bishop Saint Nicholas of Myra (March 15th 270 AD to December 6th 343 AD) and his beautiful habit of giving gifts at Christmas, that, after the good Saint died, Caerthalian and some of his smaller and shorter elf acquaintances moved up to the North Pole and built a small toy workshop where they made gifts for good little girls and boys that they then delivered around the world by Christmas morn.

As the Middle Ages started to drift into the era of the Renaissance, three little boys Martin Luther, John Calvin and Ulrich Zwingli never received any gifts at Christmas from Caerthalian (who had since changed his name to Santa Claus a variant of the Dutch Sinter Klaas which was the Dutch nickname for Saint Nicholas) because they were consistently naughty throughout the year.

As such when grown men, all 3 consistently argued for justification by faith.

Thus from Caerthalian’s/Santa Claus’ penchant for only giving gifts to good little girls and boys, the seeds of the Protestant Reformation were born.

Caerthalian’s/Santa Claus’ discriminatory policy of not giving gifts to the ethically challenged would be thoroughly repudiated by Jorge Mario Bergoglio in the 2nd decade of the 21st Century.

Turning to the point where the second and third decades of the 21st Century would merge- Christmas Eve 2020- after a meeting of demons and fallen angels in the newly formed Council For Inclusive Debauchery, it was agreed that the half-demon half-goat Krampus (who was the most unholy creature at December in the territory of the old Holy Roman Empire) should kidnap Santa Claus on the night of December 24th and commandeer his gift laden one horse open sleigh that was driven by eight reindeer (Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen) plus Rudolph (who had been putting in a special cameo appearance every Christmas Eve since 1939).

Olive the other reindeer would stay home and get plastered drinking Mrs. Claus’ rum laced eggnog.

This year Krampus would be carrying a special gift that was made by the Wuhan Institute of Virology.

Bill Gates was already rubbing his hands with glee as visions of the next vaccine danced in his head.

Dr. Anthony Fauci and the Xi Jinping Commie loving idiots at WHO had already told the children of the world that Santa was immune from Covid and they should not be afraid to hug the jolly old elf if they see him.

Any change in Santa’s appearance from previous Christmasses (i.e. looking like Krampus) could be explained by an allergic skin reaction to a teen elf acne medication he was taking.

With the blessings of Dr. Anthony Fauci and the WHO, Krampus as the Santa imposter set out on his Christmas Eve mission.

It was agreed by all involved with the Council For Inclusive Debauchery that Rudolph plus the original 8 reindeer plus Olive the other reindeer should be held under quarantine so that reports of the Krampus posing as Santa story would not get out to the world and give the mainstream Marxist media in the West a chance to think up a cockinbull story knocking any honest reports of the incident.

Rudolph however managed to escape and got to the Set Estate in London where he told British MP Renfield R. Renfield the story.

Renfield went in and informed his former employer the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set of what had happened.

“What reindeer relayed this info?” Set asked.

“Rudolph,” Renfield replied.

“How do you know it was Rudolph?” Set inquired.

“Because of his red shiny nose,” Renfield answered.

Set lit himself a cigar and asked, “What is the cause of his red shiny nose?”.

“Could it be Oom-Pah-Pah?” The woman playing the female character of Nancy sang on the old LP record belonging to Set which contained songs from the 1960 musical Oliver! a musical adaptation of Charles Dickens’ classic 1838 novel Oliver Twist.

Renfield, looking back into the living room where he noticed Rudolph hitting the bottles of gin, remarked, “The lady on the record says it all.”

-A Christmas children’s story
for adults
and
vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 26th
2020.

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Nashville Tennessee Christmas Day Explosion: Opening Shots In 2nd American Civil War

December 25, 2020 at 11:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was briefing the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set on the latest Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit reports.

Renfield: As you know there are several anti-Communist militia groups in the U.S. and we believe an anti-Communist militia was responsible for the blast. Not being Islamist terrorists who have no qualms about killing innocents, that’s why a loudspeaker on the van broadcast a message for everyone to evacuate the area saying that a blast would occur in 15 minutes.

Set: Why Nashville?

Renfield: We’re not sure why Nashville but the important thing is it was parked in front of the AT&T building.

Set: AT&T? American Telephone and Telegraph? Why is that important?

Renfield: Because as Set Enterprises Intelligence discovered a few days ago, AT&T is controlled by Chinese companies loyal to the CCP (Chinese Communist Party). And it discovered that through information easily researched on the Net.

Set: And anti-Communist militias are ticked off at the CCP?

Renfield: They are. UBS Beijing purchased Dominion Voting Machines of Canada back on October 8th of this year. UBS Beijing is a company under the aegis of the CCP. That information Set Enterprises Intelligence discovered a few days ago as well about the UBS Beijing October 8th 2020 purchase of Dominion Voting Machines with information easily accessible on the Net. And it was primarily through Dominion Voting Machines that Biden-Harris won. Although you wouldn’t know that since the mainstream Marxist media in the West never reveals anything worth knowing. Trump is aware of it. Which is why there’s a battle going on in all branches of the U.S. government between those loyal to the U.S. Constitution and those loyal to their paymasters in the CCP. Some anti-Communist militias are no doubt aware of the CCP’s brazen attempt to seize control of the U.S. government by rigging voting machines. And that’s why they placed a bomb in front of the CCP controlled AT&T Building in Nashville.

Set (sipping a shaken martini): You and Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster always said a 2nd American Civil War was coming. And now a Civil War with potential to become World War III since the CCP is involved. And it starts on Christmas Day 2020. This has certainly shaped up to be one Hell of a year in world history.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday December 25th
2020.

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Italy’s Neo-Stalinist PM Cancels Christmas

December 20, 2020 at 11:55 pm (Christmas, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

This past Friday Italy’s Neo-Stalinist Prime Minister Giuseppe Conte announced a lockdown over Italy that would last from December 24th 2020 to January 6th 2021.

December 24th of course was the Night Before Christmas and January 6th was the Feast of Epiphany- the 12th Day of Christmas.

So Conte in effect would be cancelling all 12 Days of Christmas.

As visions of arsenic placed in bowls of eggnog danced in his head, Conte sipped his wine.

He reflected back to his childhood where Dr. Seuss’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas was his favourite book.

The book however had a sad unhappy ending where the Grinch changed his mind about Christmas.

It would not be the ending he would have chosen had he been the author.

He much prefered the ending of William Shakespeare’s Titus Andronicus where most of the cast had been dismembered and killed by the play’s end.

As he sipped his wine, he raised his glass in a toast.

“Here’s to Rome losing the Faith and becoming the seat of Antichrist,” he smiled.

He was unable to drink the toast as a banana cream pie wound up in his face.

Had he been drinking a Harvey Wallbanger instead of wine, he’d have noticed a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears leaving his study.

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a dream (or was it a vision ?) of Bill Gates.

In the dream Bill Gates was sipping a martini stirred not shaken (because he wasn’t cool like James Bond was) and laughing his head off, “Wah! Hah! Hah! People laughed at me when I talked about Covid-21. Wah! Hah! Hah! Just like they laughed at me when I said someday I was going to lose my virginity! Wah! Hah! Hah! Earning my first million changed all that! Wah! Hah! Hah! And now there’s a new variant of Covid-19 in England! Wah! Hah! Hah! And a bunch of broken perfume bottles around London that had once been in the refrigeration unit of the Chinese Embassy! Wah! Hah! Hah! And that obnoxious Renfield R. Renfield’s nation is now under lockdown! Wah! Hah! Hah! Covid-21 is now here!”.

Gates went over to his home bar to stir himself another martini.

Gates sipped his martini, “And now I just found out the origins of the term “conspiracy theory”! Wah! Hah! Hah! It was a term Josef Stalin invented in the 1930s in Soviet Russia to discredit his opponents when they accused him of being up to certain nefarious business. He said such talk was “pure conspiracy theory”. Of course Stalin’s opponents were right but by that time they (Stalin’s opponents) and a whole bunch of people were already dead! Wah! Hah! Hah! Of course people of my generation weren’t taught much history. And people in generations after me were taught even less. I only found that out by reading a geopolitical analyst’s Facebook post from several years back! Wah! Hah! Hah!”.

Gates was so impressed with himself that he swallowed the unpitted olive in his martini and started to choke.

Michelangelo woke up so he couldn’t he tell whether Gates croaked or not.

. . .

Ghost of Orson Welles’ vision of Christmas Day 2020:


And the swirling smoke caused by the Arctic volcano’s eruption looked as if it had come from another galaxy.
Forming a blend of what appeared to be Northern Lights interspersed with the faces of demons, snakes, owls and sinister men.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday December 20th
2020.

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Xi Jinping Plans To Bang Italian Harlot In Shanghai While Continuing With His World Domination Plans

December 19, 2020 at 11:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Communist China’s paramount leader the evil megalomaniac Xi Jinping was talking to his Supernaturnal entity advisor the Black Dragon who had emerged from a black hole in the Andromeda Galaxy eons ago.

“Heilong,” Xi asked the Black Dragon, “What’s the name of that airheaded Italian harlot I always bang whenever I visit Shanghai?”.

“That would be Ambra Schilliro the Italian Commie journalist and Babylonianish harlot social butterfly who flutters around on her Social Cloud spreading Chinese Communist Party Public Relations (what British MP Renfield R. Renfield refers to as Neo-Maoist propaganda and bullshit) in the countries of China, Italy, the U.S. and Korea.”

Xi putting on a fertilizer cologne, “Yes, that’s the one. Book me an appointment with her for tonight.”

“But I understand 666 members of the Shanghai branch of the CCP had booked to bang her in one massive gang bang tonight,” Heilong pointed out.

“Well, put them on hold,” Xi foamed, “As always happens to me when I use my Huawei phone these days. I had to break down and start using Samsung.”

A PLA soldier approaches Xi, “Your Almightiness, we regret to report that our People’s Red Army just got our asses kicked by India’s Army on the India-China border again.”

“Well cover it up like we did before,” Xi barked.

Later in Shanghai, Xi paid a visit to the Italian harlot Ambra Schilliro.

He inserted his organ into Ambra’s mouth.

“Think of it as sucking on an egg roll,” Xi said neglecting to mention that egg rolls were a lot larger.

He then inserted it into the orifice between her front legs.

And then inserted it into the orifice between her back legs.

And then inserted it into her left nostril.

“Think of it as a Covid-19 test,” Xi had said.

He then inserted it into her right nostril.

“Think of it as a Covid-19 re-test,” Xi pontificated.

He then inserted it into her right ear.

“Think of it as a wax cleaning,” Xi smiled.

He then inserted it into her left ear as he remarked, “More wax cleaning.”

Heilong had put on dark sunglasses as he watched the spectacle.

“That Italian harlot,” Heilong noted, “seems to be getting as many orifices penetrated as Procopius the Byzantine historian (and secretary to the Byzantine general Belisarius) noted happened to Justinian’s wife the Empress Theodora in Procopius’ Secret History.”

The Byzantine vampiress Theodora (who had dropped into Shanghai to pick up an order of Shanghai Fried Rice) overheard Heilong’s remarks and said, “Everything Procopius wrote about me is a lie.”


Theodora: Everything Procopius wrote about her is a lie

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 19th
2020.

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Kraken’s Croissant Cravings

December 18, 2020 at 11:26 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

“French President Emmanuel Macron has tested positive for Covid-19.
Coincidentally enough a number of cougars at the Paris Zoo have also tested positive for Covid-19.”
-British MP Renfield R. Renfield reading a news story on radio.

As the Fascist Freemasonic French President Emmanuel Macron was busy self-isolating along with quite a number of cougars who were also self-isolating, French Aquarian Age Bonapartist leader The Kraken Napololeon VI was walking the streets of Paris along with his wife Medusa the ex-Gorgon.

The Kraken, who was sipping 8 cups of cognac-laced coffee at the same time, asked his wife, “Where is everybody?”.

“Under lockdown,” Medusa answered as she curled her hair with her wireless electric blow dryer and hair curler.

“Bummer,” the Kraken walked past a couple of gay Jesuit priests who suddenly found themselves frozen to a park bench captured in the activity they were engaging in, “I wonder if there’s any place that’s open. I’ve got a craving for hot buttered croissants.”

As the Kraken craved croissants, Macron missed his cougars in the French Presidential Palace.

And in a Paris hotel room, the Norse valkyrie Kara awaited the arrival of vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday December 18th
2020.

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