Renfield R. Renfield vs. Australia’s Victoria State Dictator Daniel Andrews

September 23, 2020 at 9:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Australia’s Victoria state had just granted the police in that state the power to arrest people who write and also post “conspiracy theories on social media”.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had recently described Daniels as “a jackass who has really let power get to his braying head”.

Andrews was getting sick of Renfield making fun of him (just like Hitler got sick of Churchill making fun of him).

He was also angry at Renfield for getting an invisible 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit to inject a serum in his buttocks which gave him an excruciatingly painful case of hemorrhoids.

So under this new law, Andrews thought this entitled him to arrest people beyond the borders of Victoria state.

Even beyond the borders of Australia itself.

As such, he sent a bunch of Melbourne police commandos to Britain to arrest Renfield.

The Melbourne police commandos made a colossal blundering error when they tried to arrest Renfield at the estate mansion of the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

Set’s estate guard cat Nefertiti Galore set upon the Melbourne police commandos and ripped them to shreds with her claws.

The pieces of the commandos were gathered up by the Set Estate’s live action garden gnomes and placed in a wastepaper basket.

Renfield had the wastepaper basket with the pieces of the commandos inside couriered back to Melbourne, Australia addressed to:
Victoria’s State Dictator Daniel Andrews, Melbourne, Australia.

Inside Renfield had left a personal note for Andrews,

“Your Melbourne police commandos aren’t so tough as they were done in by a London pussy. This really doesn’t say much for them or for you.”

He signed it,

“Yours respectfuly,
Renfield R. Renfield.”

. . .

Meanwhile at Melbourne Police Headquarters in the Australian Victoria state capital, the ghosts of the Nazi SS’s Heinrich Himmler and the Soviet NKVD’s Laventriy Beria had been granted a temporary dispensational release from their rotating barbeque spits down in Tartarus at Victoria state dictator Daniel Andrews’ request (he had to bribe Hades with a koala bear fur skin rug as the chthonic deity did not have one of those fur skin rugs in his collection) in order to give Melbourne police some great tips on how to violate civil rights and human rights and how to impose a martial law lockdown in the state in the most brutal manner possible.

Himmler’s ghost and Beria’s ghost had been giving these seminars to the Melbourne Police Department ever since Victoria state dictator Daniel Andrews announced the martial law style lockdown in early August.

. . .

Meanwhile in the U.S., the mainstream Marxist CNN was heaping lavish praise on Victoria state dictator Daniel Andrews and his martial law style lockdown calling it a “model for the U.S.”.

It will certainly become the model for the U.S. if the Biden-Harris ticket wins in November.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 23rd
2020.

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Political Incorrectness vs. Moloch Worship

September 21, 2020 at 9:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was busy shampooing his dog.

It was a difficult thing to do as both he and his dog were wearing face masks as recommended by British government health experts.

The radio was on and the BBC announced that a telephone interview with British MP Renfield R. Renfield was coming up.

Renfield, Johnson reflected as he almost drowned the dog with Johnson’s Baby Shampoo.

Renfield had briefly served in Boris Johnson’s cabinet as Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering last year when Johnson led a minority government prior to calling a December election in which he won a majority.

Renfield had negotiated a deal with then Irish Taioseach (Prime Minister) Leo Varadkar on the Irish border question in Brexit.

Many did not want a hard border to return to Ireland between north and south.

Theresa May’s solution to the question was to have an open border in Ireland but her compromise would then make the entire United Kingdom still subject to rules and regulations by the Neo-Stalinist EU bureaucrats in Brussels.

Renfield’s solution was to have an open border in Ireland but have only Northern Ireland subject to Neo-Stalinist regulations from the EU capital in Brussels.

As Renfield told Johnson at the time, “3 out of 4 parts of the United Kingdom not subject to Neo-Stalinist bureaucratic regulations from Brussels ain’t bad.”

So the Renfield Protocol on the Irish border question was adopted in the Brexit deal.

Now Johnson decided to bring in legislation unilaterally doing away with the Renfield Protocol in Brexit- a move that even one of Johnson’s own cabinet ministers described as breaking international law since it had been signed as part of an internationally agreed to treaty.

Johnson’s move had even ticked off George Clooney’s wife Amal Clooney who promptly resigned as the United Kingdom’s envoy on Press Freedom since as a lawyer and barrister, she felt she could not represent a government that broke international law.

The Internal Market Bill was the name of Johnson’s proposed legislation that would override the Renfield Protocol in the Brexit Agreement.

Back in January, Johnson had Renfield removed from the Cobra Committee (the UK government committee that oversaw any national emergency) because he felt Renfield was too much of an independent thinker who refused to tow the line when it came to Groupthink.

The Cobra Committee would be meeting tomorrow to discuss the rise in Covid cases in Britain.

Renfield had recently and rather annoyingly pointed out that at the moment Sweden seemed to be the only country in Europe that wasn’t experiencing a 2nd wave of Covid cases (Sweden was also the only country in Europe not to go into total lockdown and quarantine this spring because Sweden’s chief epidemiologist Dr. Anders Tegnell thought it wasn’t necessary to impose a form of martial law or USSR/Maoist China control over its citizens in order to combat the virus. Something totally at odds with 99% of the world’s governments who were chomping at the bits for a Marxist-Leninist New World Order aka George Soros’ Great Reset to occur).

When the interview started on the radio as Johnson’s dog was busy suffocating under a combination of face mask and Johnson’s Baby Shampoo, Johnson wondered how long it would be before Renfield said something that was politically incorrect.

The interviewer asked Renfield, “What do you think of the epithet The Notorious RBG that many of her admirers gave to the late Ruth Bader Ginsburg?”.

“Well,” Renfield could be heard clanking his whisky glass and sipping his drink as he spoke, “Since Adolf Hitler was always considered a notorious individual in History, it’s only appropriate that Ruth Bader Ginsburg be given the same epithet.”

The radio station’s switchboard then lit up with callers from overseas – angry so-called progressive liberal Democratic voters from the U.S.

. . .

The demon Moloch strolled angrily up and down in front of the U.S. Supreme Court Building in Washington DC.

One of his most ardent disciples on that court had recently died.

Now who was going to replace her?

He text messaged Joe Biden demanding answers.

Senility prone Joe Biden looked at the text message and then asked his marijuana pot smoking desert cactus plant Sweet Dementia, “Moloch, isn’t he the fellow that owns a pizzaria and delicatessen on the corner of Whatchamacallit and WhatTheHellIsThatOtherPlace in downtown Wilmington?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday September 21st
2020.

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Dr. Marmalade Montague Examines Set Enterprises Intelligence Network

September 17, 2020 at 10:49 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Dr. Marmalade Montague (who wasn’t really a doctor) was a Paris baker who had a mental breakdown after his Paris bakery closed permanently (due to inability to pay rent) during the spring lockdown in Paris, France earlier this year.

After his breakdown, Dr. Marmalade Montague imagined that he was the Court Scientist to the Court of Louis Quatorze who had become trapped in a time warp and was taken from France’s Sun King epoch to this year of 2020.

Montague flew to England from France in a hot air balloon (that was powered by an old gramophone on which played a record disc that had on it The Collected Speeches of French President Emmanuel Macron).

Montague showed up at the Set Enterprises Laboratory and Persian Rug Warehouse (which was one and the same building) in London.

Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher took pity on him and gave him a job.

Today Dr. Marmalade Montague sat in his office and watched on his computer things that were happening with the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit since he had somehow inadvertently managed to download the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit App (which was actually harder to download than the CIA, FBI, Homeland Security, MI-5, MI-6, FSB, GRU and Chinese Ministry of State Security apps) to his computer.

In the Set Enterprises daycare centre meanwhile, a 3-year-old child had downloaded the ASIO (Australian Security Intelligence Organization) app
as had 3-year-old children in daycare centres across the planet.

Dr. Montague watched a Skype conversation between the vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (who was a Renfieldian double agent in the Chinese Ministry of State Security) and British MP Renfield R. Renfield (who prior to his election to Parliament in June 2017 had been Chief of Intelligence Gathering and Security Operations For Set Enterprises).

“So, Rennie,” Mei-ling addressed the Churchillian Transhumanist Member of Parliament, “you’ve undoubtedly heard by now that a CCP (Chinese Communist Party) front the San Francisco-based Chinese Progressive Association has been providing funding for BLM inspired rioting across the U.S.”.

“Yes, I’ve heard that,” Renfield had taken apart his egg roll to see if there were any wiretaps in it and finding none had put sweet and sour orange sauce over it and ate it, “so this is further confirmation that the CCP has been financing the ongoing anarcho-Marxist thug and hooligan riots (what the mainstream Marxist media in the U.S. call “peaceful protests”) that have been taking place in America all summer with the approval of numerous U.S. Democratic Party mayors and governors.”

“Yes, the CCP definitely wants to see the Biden/Harris ticket win in November,” Mei-ling sipped a glass of red wine.

“Another thing they have in common with the mainstream Marxist media,” Renfield started examining his Peking Duck for signs of a wiretap inside.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday September 17th
2020.


Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu relaxes with candlelight and music.

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The All Encompassing Covidocracy: Renfield On The Globalists, Technocratic Dictatorship and Pope Francis

September 12, 2020 at 10:46 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Technology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

“We are living under the first global medical dictatorship in world history.”
-Renfield R. Renfield

Renfield: In a January 2019 essay on the overuse of the word “dystopia” in American political discourse, Miami University of Ohio professor Ryan J. Barrilleaux wrote that the defining features of an actual dystopia are, “social regimentation, dehumanization, abuse of technology, state terror, a new class of rulers, propaganda instead of truth, inevitable totalitarianism and the tragedy of the individual.”

Now I’m sure 90% of political, cultural and media leaders across the globe would no doubt say that any resemblance between Prof. Barrilleaux’s definition of the word “dystopia” and the year 2020 is purely coincidental.
That’s because today’s elites don’t want the vast majority of sheeple on the planet to wake up and realize the nightmare Brave New World they’re being herded into with a little bit of help from their (the elite’s) friends the Covid-1984 virus, the People’s Liberation Army, the Wuhan Institute of Virology and the Chinese Communist Party with important supporting roles played by the anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans rioting and setting fires in America (better known as Antifa and BLM – BLM once thought to stand for Black Lives Matter but now we know really stands for Burn Loot Murder).
For social regimentation, we have obsessive-compulsive disorder handwashing regimen required of all of us, staying physically away from others, walking only in certain directions at the grocery store and not socializing with others are now the required acts of homage, fealty, veneration and worship we are now required to render unto the world’s technocratic Caesars.
For dehumanization, we now have face masks required in most businesses, most indoor places and an increasing number of outdoor places as well.
Technocrats can’t have people walking around as if they were created in the image of God or some such similar anachronism.
For abuse of technology, we now have the Big Tech giants such as Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Google censoring anybody who disagrees with the narrative set by the global elites who run these companies.
For state terror, there are ongoing examples of this spreading across what used to be the democratic world but the apotheosis of Covid 1984 state terror can be found in Australia’s Victoria state ruled over by that bloodthirsty down under guttersnipe Premier Daniel Andrews and I use the term “bloodthirsty down under guttersnipe” with all due respect.
States and cities ruled over by Democratic Party politicians in America also are growing examples of state terror particularly when it comes to churches and other places of worship.
I have no doubt that California Gov. Gavin Newsom longs to boldly go where Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews has gone before.
The new class of rulers are public “health experts” i.e. those who say that there are an infinite number of genders, a human in the womb with a beating heart is just a “clump of cells” and children should be able to attempt to “change” their sex.
This same gang of “geniuses” whose interpretations of data and projections (projections being guesses) are now to be regarded as infallible in today’s dystopian world.
For propaganda, we now have such Orwellian meaningless phrases as Staying Apart Keeps Us Together and of course every public health expert’s favourite line “social distancing”.
And of course even though the curve has been flattened and there’s only a one in 91 million chance of actually dying from the Coronavirus itself according to a recent Stanford University study, we must live in terror and fear and be obedient.
And of course our elites meanwhile continue to speak nonsense.
Nancy Pelosi, sporting her new ambushed hairstyle, tells us that Mother Earth is angry with us.
And that’s the reason for both the Covid-1984 virus and the California wildfires.
A non-mask wearing California Gov. Gavin Newsom says that climate change (and not arson) is to blame for the California wildfires.
The Pachamama worshipping Pope Francis will be issuing a new encyclical next month – on Fraternity- to be issued October 3rd in which Francis will say that the doctrines of the Freemasonic fraternity (condemned by every previous Pope dating back to Pope Clement XII in 1738) are now to be regarded as the doctrines of the Catholic Church.
Then on October 14th, Pope Francis will issue a directive that was to have been issued May 14th of this year (but got postponed due to the Covid-1984 virus) in which he says that Communism must be taught in every single Catholic institution of learning from parochial school and kindergarten right up to Catholic colleges and Universities.
Of course this has always been the case in most Catholic centers of learning in the Western world since that ecclesial disaster known as Vatican II but now it will have formal papal blessing.

The Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama (worshipped by Pope Francis and other Modernist liberal Apostate Catholics) as she appeared to the ghost of Orson Welles.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 12th
2020.

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Renfield Discusses The PRC’s Connection With U.S. Anarcho-Marxist Thugs and Hooligans

September 10, 2020 at 10:10 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was having a Party caucus meeting with his parliamentary colleague the Welsh vampiress Morgana (Member of Parliament for Newbridge in Wales).

“What’s that card you have on your desk?” Morgana asked Renfield.

“It’s a GET SICK SOON card I just received from Boris Johnson,” Renfield answered.

“I take it that it’s the opposite of a Get Well Soon card,” Morgana smiled.

“That’s correct,” Renfield took the card and put it on his mantlepiece above his office fireplace where a bunch of other GET SICK SOON cards were displayed.

“Who are those other GET SICK SOON cards from?” Morgana inquired.

“From Russian President Vladimir Putin, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, Belarusian President Aleksandr Lukashenko, China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping, Australia’s Victoria state Premier Daniel Andrews, Pope Francis, Bill Gates and George Soros,” Renfield replied.

“You seem to be very popular with the Hope You Catch Covid Soon crowd,” Morgana noted.

“Yes, that appears to be the case,” Renfield poured himself a brandy and offered one to Morgana which she declined.

She helped herself to a Lemonade Shandy instead.

“I was just reading the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit report on why the Chinese Consulate in Houston, Texas was closed,” Renfield browsed through the report.

“Didn’t U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo accuse them of stealing trade and technology secrets?” Morgana sipped her Shandy.

“Every Chinese consulate in the world does that but that was Pompeo’s official explanation,” Renfield read the report, “The real reason was because a group of PLA agents provocateur used that particular consulate as the home base for helping to direct the anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans who were conducting burning, looting and murdering riots in major cities across the U.S. in what America’s mainstream Marxist media referred to as peaceful protests,” Renfield answered.

“Wow, so the People’s Republic of China were helping to encourage these riots,” Morgana shook her head.

“Yes, there’s a South Korean geopolitical analyst called Kaheva on YouTube who released a video today saying that she thinks foreign spies are helping the rioters,” Renfield sipped his brandy, “She is correct on that although she said she didn’t know what country might be doing it. A geopolitical analyst friend of mine in Calgary discovered back in late July that the Chinese consulate in Houston was being closed because PLA agents provocateur had been using that as their base of operations to help support the Neo-Bolshevik insurrectionary riots throughout U.S. cities. And now the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit has reached the same conclusion.”

“So do you still think these riots will lead to civil war in the U.S.?” Morgana ate her plate of Welsh rarebit.

“Yes, the left is already threatening to continue and even intensify the riots if Trump wins the election,” Renfield noted, “Joe Biden in a speech today or rather the fallen angel Mephistopheles speaking through Biden said, “Do you really think America will be less violent if Trump wins re-election?” in a tone of voice that clearly sounded like a threat. Of course it doesn’t matter which side wins the election in today’s polarized America. Neither side will accept defeat. And civil war will probably be the result.”


Film Noir genre style photo of Renfield and Morgana taken by the ghost of Orson Welles.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday September 10th
2020.

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Justin Trudeau Discusses Upcoming Throne Speech With Tezcatlipoca

September 9, 2020 at 10:20 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The New Orleans vampiress Angelique Dumont was sitting with her boyfriend Amadeus Emanon in the Inn Lu Forbidden Palace Cafe in Sydney, Australia.

The restaurant proprieter Mr. Inn Lu was complaining about once again having to bail out an acquaintance of his nicknamed Uncle Ernie from jail.

“This time he’s in jail for allegedly assaulting Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews in the buttocks,” Inn Lu complained, “That Uncle Ernie is a pain in the ass for everyone.”

Inn Lu walked away.

“Your friend Renfield,” Angelique Dumont asked, “Is he still on friendly terms with British Prime Minister Boris Johnson seeing as how Renfield briefly served in Boris Johnson’s cabinet in Johnson’s short lived minority government prior to last December’s UK election which saw Johnson win an outright majority?”.

The Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield had served as Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering in Johnson’s minority government cabinet.

When Johnson won a majority and no longer needed the support of the two person Transhumanist Party caucus to help keep him in power, Renfield found himself out of cabinet and once again sitting on the Opposition backbenches.

“I don’t know if Renfield and Johnson are still on friendly terms or not,” Amadeus admitted.

On the radio in the background the voice of Renfield could be heard, “With each and every passing day, Boris Johnson is more and more turning into an outright Apostle of the Antichrist.”

“No, I guess they’re not on friendly terms,” Amadeus commented.

. . .

In his greenhouse in Ottawa, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was once again inhaling pot smoke from his marijuana inhaling and exhaling antique late Victorian/early Edwardian era mirror named Magical Mystery Tour.

As he did so, Tezcatlipoca the Aztec god of smoking mirrors (in this case pot smoking mirrors) appeared to Justin.

The deity had for a head a sinister looking bluish green skull with a black stripe and a yellow stripe painted across his face.

The deity’s right foot was an obsidian mirror.

Although occasionally the right foot would metamorphose into a snake.

When this happened, the obsidian mirror showed up on the deity’s chest instead and sometimes smoke would emanate from the mirror.

Whenever Tezcatlipoca spoke to Justin, it was usually pot smoke that emanated from the mirror.

This past August 18th, Justin Trudeau had prorogued (suspended) the Canadian Parliament on Tezcatlipoca’s advice.

A new Parliament would open this coming September 23rd with a new Speech From The Throne.

Tezcatlipoca was helping Justin write that speech.

The speech would contain various elements – each element was guaranteed to offend at least one of every single opposition party in the minority government Canadian House of Commons.

As such the Opposition parties would join together and defeat the Trudeau government in a non-confidence motion on the Throne Speech.

And Justin would be forced to call a Federal election.

Tezcatlipoca’s reasoning was the Canadian electorate would be so outraged with the Opposition parties forcing an election in the midst of a pandemic, they’d overwhelmingly vote for Justin and return him to power with a majority government.

Then Justin could do whatever he damned well please in running the country.

“At last,” Justin wept tears, “I’ll finally be able to turn Canada into the Marxist-Leninist dictatorship that my father always wanted but he was unable to complete the task.”

At that point a beautiful woman appeared in the mirror

and asked him,

“To what father are you referring? Pierre Elliot Trudeau or Fidel Castro?”.

Justin Trudeau turned ghostly white (even under all that blackface he was wearing) at the woman’s question.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 9th
2020.

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Renfield Tackles The Tinpot Dictator Down Under

September 8, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

“The Victoria state government of Premier Daniel Andrews is Australia’s Vichy regime to Xi Jinping’s Thousand Year Reich.
That’s why he imposes despotic draconian lockdowns, sends in riot police (in the manner of Belarusian President Aleksandr Lukasheno) to crush protestors and arrests pregnant women when they voice their dissent with his policies on Facebook.”
-Renfield R. Renfield

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was reading the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit report on Australia’s Victoria state Premier Daniel Andrews.

The report showed close collusion between the Victoria Labour Party Government of Daniel Andrews in Melbourne and the Chinese Communist Party ever since Daniel Andrews became Premier of Victoria back in 2014.

Victoria Yang a Victoria Labour Party staffer with links to the Chinese Communist Party and a friend of Daniel Andrews’ senior China advisor Marty Mei recently came up with the theory that the U.S. was responsible for creating Covid-19 and was using its army to spread the virus across the globe.

Comrade Dan or Chairman Dan as the Victoria Premier was called had effectively turned Australia’s Victoria state into an economic vassal of Communist China boldly signing up to Xi Jinping’s new Silk Road policy.

Comrade Dan criticized Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s National Government in Canberra for cancelling foreign deals with China.

Lastly the Set Enterprises report noted the similarities in the way Daniel Andrews handled anti-lockdown protests in Melbourne with the way the new Hong Kong Security Law of Xi Jinping’s Hong Kong Police handled protestors in Hong Kong and the way the security forces of Belarusian President Aleksandr Lukashenko handled protestors in Minsk.

Renfield put in a call to the Set Enterprises eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis oil powered dirigible airship The Hooterville Cannonball which was currently flying in the Asia-Pacific region.

Hours later as kangaroos and koala bears stood outside Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews’ office holding signs that read WE DARE CALL IT TREASON,
Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews felt a sharp prick into his buttocks as if some invisible entity was shoving a needle into it.

The needle went through the Josef Stalin walrus moustache that was growing on Andrews’ left buttock and went all the way through narrowly missing the Adolf Hitler moustache that was growing on Andrews’ right testicle.

An SS-Gestapo and KGB style security officer working for Andrews and who had been drinking Harvey Wallbangers on the job said that it was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears who had injected the needle.

The call went out around Melbourne.

In an empty Melbourne movie theatre meanwhile Uncle Ernie had entered it to give a performance as his drag queen altar ego Cumelita.

Sadly there was no one inside and forgetting what day of the year it was, Uncle Ernie thought it was Easter and so he went to his dressing room back stage and put on his Easter Bunny costume.

He exited the theatre where he was immediately thrown to the ground and handcuffed while some Imperial Stormtrooper looking official spoke through a megaphone, “You’re under arrest for assaulting Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews’ buttocks.”

The Easter bunny attired Uncle Ernie was then thrown into the back of a police van and taken to Secret Police Headquarters for interrogation.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 8th
2020.

Vril Society psychic medium Maria Orsic forseeing the events of September 8th 2020 on her Nazi prototype laptop on this date back in 1943.

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Putin Sings Novichok Song To Tune of Spiderman While Angela Merkel Shaves Her Moustache Again

September 5, 2020 at 11:06 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Russian President Vladimir Putin recently had a needle injected into his buttocks by Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit secret agent Harvey Tallbanger (a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears invisible to all except those drinking Harvey Wallbanger cocktails).

The serum inside the needle gave Putin the worst case of hemorrhoids in all recorded history.

Now that Germany had found Russian Opposition leader Alexei Navalny had indeed been poisoned by nerve agent Novichok, British MP Renfield R. Renfield and Set Enterprises decided to take further action against the murder by poisoning Byzantine Emperor like Russian leader.

Included in the hemorrhoids inducing serum was a compound developed by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher (the inventor of the serum) that made the person injected and infected subject to mind control by Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster.

Renfield decided to test the compound’s effectiveness.

Russian President Vladimir Putin had called a press conference to answer charges that it was Russia responsible for administering the Novichok nerve agent poison to Alexei Navalny.

Towering like an Olympian Greek god on his throne high above the assembled members of the world news media, Putin sat upon three dozen soft comfortable cushions to alleviate the agony of his hemorrhoids.

When asked by a reporter from the Uncle Ernie’s Free Press newspaper in Australia (the only newspaper in the world printed on toilet paper) if Russia was responsible for the Novichok attack on Navalny, the Russian leader proceeded to reply.

At that moment, Putin had his mind taken over by Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster.

Putin then broke into a song he dubbed Novichok (which was sung to the tune of Spiderman which was the theme song from the 1960s TV cartoon show called Spiderman).

Putin (singing):

Novichok, Novichok
friendly neighbourhood Novichok
makes your insides want to upchuck
Look out here comes the Novichok
Man
Here comes the Novichok…

Putin was dragged away by his aides before he started revealing any Russian state secrets.

Meanwhile in her bathroom in her home in Berlin Germany, German Chancellor Angela Merkel was listening to the Putin press conference on her TV set and also desperately trying to shave off her moustache.

Ever since her government started imposing draconian measures against its own population this past March in the wake of the Chinese Communist Party Wuhan virus pandemic, Ms. Merkel would wake up every morning with a freshly grown moustache (resembling to the exact detail Der Fuhrer Adolf Hitler’s signature moustache).

As always it took hours for her to shave off her moustache- only to have it come back again fully grown the next day.

The TV started broadcasting a commercial with Renfield R. Renfield drinking a glass of milk (produced by the Alberta Dairyman’s Association) leaving a milky moustache above his lips when he finished drinking.

Renfield sang, “And wear a moustache… wear a moustache..”

Ms. Merkel threw her hair dryer against the TV set as she started to shave her legs.

. . .

Down in Australia, Australian Prime Minister Scott Scott Morrison was having his home buzzed by Set Enterprises’ drones who were playing on their drone loudspeakers their own version of a Men At Work song from the early 1980s,

“Do you live in a Reich down under?
Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover.”

Meanwhile in Melbourne, Victoria state Premier Daniel Andrews had problems of his own.

A Josef Stalin walrus style moustache was growing on his left buttock and had become impossible to shave off.

Likewise an Adolf Hitler moustache was growing on his right testicle and had become impossible to shave off.

After 300 protestors marched against Premier Daniel Andrews’ despotic totalitarian rule in Melbourne yesterday (which sent BBC’s Communist correspondent in Australia into a frenzy of weeping and gnashing of teeth), the Victoria premier surrounded by armed police who were dressed like Darth Vader’s stormtroopers of the Evil Empire, Andrews lectured and waved his hands like a frantic madman (minus the German accent), “It is not safe, it is not smart, it is not lawful. In fact, it is absolutely selfish for people to be out there protesting.”

The ghosts of Josef Stalin and Adolf Hitler stood behind him applauding vigourously.

Seconds later, a rotten tomato cream pie was thrown in Andrews’ face by an invisible entity.

Overhead Set Enterprises’ drones flew and sang,

“Do you live in a Reich down under?
Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover.”

. . .

Dr. Theresa Tam who was Canada’s airheaded so-called “health expert” was now telling people to stop kissing and also to wear a mask when having sex to prevent the spread of the Coronavirus.

She also said that going solo when having sex (i.e. masturbation) was the safest form of sex to have during a pandemic.

“It definitely decreases your risk of getting Covid,” Dr. Tam said.

When asked to comment, British MP Renfield R. Renfield noted, “That while going solo in terms of sex (i.e. masturbation) decreases your risk of getting Covid, it increases your risk of becoming a pathetic and lonely loser.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 5th
2020.

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Living In A Neo-Bolshevik World

September 4, 2020 at 10:20 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was once again talking to his friend Amadeus Emanon via Skype.

“So,” Renfield sipped a rum and coke, “I see the Portland Oregon anarcho-Marxist thug and hooligan Michael Reinoehl who shot and killed a man in Portland Oregon last weekend was himself shot and killed by sheriff’s officers in the town of Lacey, Washington 120 miles north of Portland. There were reports that Reinoehl was hit by anywhere from 30 to 40 bullets. I guess the 4 officers who fired their guns must have felt a little behind in their target practice time and decided to make up for it.”

“Shot anywhere from 30 to 40 times?” Amadeus sipped his tea.

“Yes as Robin the Boy Wonder might have put it – Unholy holey corpse, Batman!” Renfield ate a tuna fish sandwich, “Hopefully they’ll remember to bury him face downwards so he can see where he’s going.”

“Is it true that Joe Biden recently praised Reinoehl?” Amadeus ate a doughnut.

“Yes, the man’s senility knows no bounds,” Renfield ate some pickled asparagus, “The whole political situation in the U.S. looks like a build-up to a Civil War as Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster and I have been saying for months.”

“I hear the mainstream Marxist media in the U.S. is now referring to the anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans as “peaceful rioters”,” Amadeus noted.

“Yes, the legalization of marijuana in various U.S. states has certainly expanded the use of idiotic terminology among that country’s journalists,” Renfield answered, “Although our BBC Communist correspondents on USA affairs are doing their best to catch up by referring to the Portland rioters as anti-racism protestors. If the whole Western world mainstream Marxist media narrative on these events is to be believed, the only anti-racists in America are anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans who burn, loot and murder.”

“What’s the situation in Britain and Europe?” Amadeus asked Renfield as behind the Australian quarantined British concert pianist, a group of machine gun toting kangaroos and koala bears (specially trained by an old war buddy of Uncle Ernie) shot and killed a group of Australian government commandos who were launching a raid on the property since the koala bears and kangaroos were not wearing masks nor were they practicing social distancing.

“Well, the mainstream Marxist media here in Britain and Europe have had their panties in a knot since so many people joined in protests against government draconian measures in Berlin, Germany last weekend where Robert F. Kennedy Jr. spoke,” Renfield explained, “Since Communists are only capable of describing people who disagree with them as Fascist (Churchill’s ghost told me that he once beaned Josef Stalin over the head with a vodka bottle when he Stalin did that to Churchill), they referred to the protestors as “far right” and “covid deniers”. When in reality, the vast majority of them are people who are just fed up with politicians acting like totalitarians and despots. When this thing began 6 months ago, we were told to stay in place until the curve was flattened and prevent hospitals from being overwhelmed. Well the curve has been flattened and hospitals are not being overwhelmed. Now the same group of despotic bozos who are our political leaders are telling us to stay in place until a vaccine is found. Yet these same political elites don’t apply the same rule to themselves. Nancy Pelosi wanders around a hairstyling salon without a mask on although now she’s claiming (as small children point and tell her that her pants are on fire) that she was deliberately set up. The mayor of Philadelphia (who has forbidden restaurants in Philadelphia to open) is himself seen eating in a restaurant in Baltimore Maryland where restaurants are allowed to open. The politicians expect the plebs to follow their dictates even as they flaunt the rules themselves.”

“That’s quite something,” Amadeus looked out the back window where a group of kangaroos and koalas were beating up the Premier of Australia’s Victoria state.

“Yes, another thing different about this year of 2020,” Renfield lit a cigar, “In previous times the press used to be a beacon of liberty. Today the mainstream Marxist media in the Western world is the biggest journalistic enemy of freedom in all recorded history. And anything they say or write should be taken with a thousand grains of salt.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 4th
2020.

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Stalinist Demonic Sex Orgy Forum Held At Georgetown University

September 2, 2020 at 10:11 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was talking with his friend Amadeus Emanon via Skype.

He was showing Amadeus video of a recent Georgetown University on-line forum called Pope Francis and The Reform of The Church.

Renfield and Amadeus were viewing the forum video using The Dr. Cadbury Rocher Supernatural Entity Detector Lens.

The three headed dog Cerberus was seen carrying around a poster that the great Renaissance painter and sculptor Michelangelo who resided in the Elysian Fields (referred to as the Church Expectant In Paradise in the Anglican Book of Common Prayer) had drawn and designed for the on-line forum.

Below the block letters POPE FRANCIS AND THE REFORM OF THE CHURCH could be seen Pope Francis operating a crane with a wrecking ball that was totally demolishing Saint Peter’s Basilica while the figure of the Blessed Virgin Mary could be seen weeping in the background.

The crane bore the logo Baal and Baphomet Wrecking Co. on it.

And speaking of Baal and Baphomet, they were also present at the on-line forum overseeing a group of demons who were all engaged in various sexual positions with one another.

Also present were the ghosts of Josef Stalin, Mao Tse-tung, Fidel Castro and Pol Pot who had all been granted day passes from their rotating barbeque spits down in Tartarus to attend the forum.

The August 31st Georgetown forum was sponsored by Georgetown University’s Office of The Vice-President For Global Engagement (the coat of arms for the office, designed by the Dutch Renaissance painter Hieronymus Bosch, showed a sexually perverted deviant satyr and a sexually perverted deviant centaur getting it on with one another in an orgiastic menage a trois that also involved a Pope Francis blessed wooden statue of the Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama).

Addressing the forum was Paul Elie a senior fellow at Georgetown’s Berkeley Center For Religion, Peace and World Affairs.

Mr. Elie was wearing a shirt that had been spraypainted (in glow in the dark ultraviolet light) with the words GLOBALIST WINDBAG.

Said Mr. Elie, “I think there’s active resistance to Pope Francis taking place in the United States.”

“Brilliant deduction,” piped up the ghost of Sherlock Holmes who was sitting in the front row of the empty (except entirely covered by copulating demons) auditorium, “What clued you in?”.

Mr. Elie then went on blathering about the Catholic social teaching of Pope Francis as Josef Stalin handed him a copy of Karl Marx’s Communist Manifesto and Mao Tse-tung handed him a copy of Mao’s Little Red Book.

Next to mince up on the forum stage was some flaming dandy named Austen Ivereigh who had written two books on Pope Francis’ pontificate and was currently working on a third (“Talk about Much ado about nothing!” Renfield remarked to Amadeus).

Whined Ivereigh, “Critics of Pope Francis are denying that he’s led by the Holy Spirit.”

The fallen angel Mephistopheles, who was sitting in the back row of the auditorium, started choking on his hot buttered popcorn and his jumbo glass of Coca-Cola when Ivereigh talked about Pope Francis being led by the Holy Spirit.

As Mephistopheles continued to roll on the floor in huge gales of laughter amidst all that spilled popcorn and spilled Coke, Ivereigh continued snivelling, “To charge that Pope Francis is a heretic or a modernist or to claim that he’s trying to change the fundamentals of the Church is signs of a schismatic mentality.”

At that moment in the Vatican, Pope Francis was asking his valet, “Have you seen my keys?”.

“What keys would those be?’ His valet asked.

“The Keys of Saint Peter,” Francis answered.

“Oh, you lost those keys several years back,” his valet noted.

Then a third person, the oh so perfectly curly haired dandy Argentine Father Augusto Zampini of the Vatican Dicastery For Promoting Integral Human Development pirouetted his way on to the forum stage.

Father Zampini lavished praise on the Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus for opening up the way for Pope Francis to accelerate his church “reforms” and his plans for global governance on the world.

“The Pope doesn’t have a Stalinist plan for the Church,” Zampini insisted.

“Well,” Renfield remarked to Amadeus, “When the Vatican representative to this year’s Davos Conference in Switzerland says that the Pope doesn’t have a Stalinist plan for the Church, you can rest assured that the Pope has a Stalinist plan for the Church.”

“May the Pope have many divisions at his beck and call,” Stalin’s ghost grinned.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 2nd
2020.

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