Qonzilqointec Arrives On Scene After Renfield Beheading of An ISIS Fighter Video

October 6, 2014 at 4:42 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec Arrives On Scene After A Renfield Beheading of ISIS Fighter Video

In response to the ISIS beheading of British aid worker Alan Henning, British commandos turned over to Renfield R. Renfield yet another ISIS fighter they had captured and taken prisoner.

In previous videos he had made, Renfield had dressed an ISIS fighter in a clown suit and had electrocuted him using his own particular answer to the Ice Bucket Challenge that was all the craze during the summer of 2014.

Then in another video, he had dressed an ISIS fighter in a pink mini dress and long pink wig making him look like a transvestite drag queen of the decadent western world and then beheaded him to the tune of Culture Club’s Boy George singing Karma Chameleon.

In this new video that Renfield was filming, the ISIS fighter was standing completely naked and had his hands tied above his head to a rope hanging from the ceiling. His legs were then spread-eagled and his ankles chained to the floor.

Before the man had been stripped naked and placed in this room, he had been forced to down 10 pitchers of dissolved laxative pill laced ice water.

A group of mini skirted hookers that Renfield had hired from London’s East End then came into the room and put copies of The Quran in Arabic all over the floor and under the ISIS fighter.

Renfield then sat behind a mirrored window in the next room and had a beer and sampled some popcorn and wondered how long the ISIS fighter would be able to hold it before he ended up urinating and defecating on all those copies of The Quran.

It turned out the ISIS fighter wasn’t able to hold it very long.

To the man’s horror, his kidneys and bowels positively exploded and emptied all their contents all over those copies of the Quran.

Renfield then entered the room wearing an Ebola virus and infectious diseases style protection suit with protective masked helmet and protective boots.

He whistled the tune of the song Whistle While You Work as he approached the naked ISIS fighter.

He then took out his samurai sword and proceeded to behead the ISIS fighter in synchronized rhythm to the melody of Scheherazade the classical symphonic suite composed by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov that he then had playing in the ceiling loudspeakers of the room.

He then placed the severed head on top of the urine and dung-covered copies of the Quran.

He then gave the raspberry as he put a red beret on top of the man’s head.

He then proceeded to sing his own paraphrased version of Prince’s mid-80s song,

“He wore raspberry beret…”

. . .

Renfield then hacked into the Islamic State’s (IS) television broadcast signal where he inserted the video for the IS audience to watch.

The video ended with Renfield R. Renfield’s trademark and copyrighted raised middle finger logo and a voice saying, “Brought to you by Renfield Raspberry To The Caliphate Productions. All rights reserved. No part or portion of this video may be reproduced or redistributed in whole or in part without written permission from Renfield Raspberry To The Caliphate Productions…”

. . .

The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec was waiting for Renfield when he returned home from his London broadcasting studios.

As he entered the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion, there standing in the living room wearing a sunflower yellow coloured evening dress and ruby encrusted poppy red coloured super spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes was the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

“Mr. Renfield,” the Aztec vampire princess spoke in her sultry seductive voice, “I have something important to discuss with you.”

In Renfield’s mind, he could hear the melody of Roger Whittaker’s lyrics “I can feel a new tomorrow coming on” playing although those lyrics for him had been changed to “I can feel a new erection coming on” as Qonzilqointec stood there smoothing her exquisite and shapely form-hugging dress.

. . .

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 6th

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Renfield’s Direct Video Response To ISIS Beheading Video

August 28, 2014 at 6:30 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield’s Direct Video Response To ISIS Beheading Video

U. S. Navy SEAL Commandos had seized and captured yet another ISIS fighter in Iraq.

He was once again handed over to Renfield R. Renfield to make yet another special Renfield video production to post to YouTube.

Renfield had already used one captured ISIS fighter to post on YouTube his own personally signatured response to the Ice Bucket Challenge that was the latest fad and trend that was all the rage on all the social networking sites.

Renfield decided to do a beheading video of his own and post it to YouTube as his video response to the ISIS beheading video of James Foley.

For this particular video, Renfield thought it would be cool to dress like a ninja.

So he was dressed like a hooded and masked ninja holding a samurai sword.

The ISIS prisoner (who had his hands cuffed behind his back and was down on his knees) wore a pink mini dress, very bright pink silk nylons, gold dust sprinkled bright pink stiletto shoes and a pink wig.

The ISIS prisoner was filmed from all angles so his ISIS compatriots watching the video could get a good look at the drag queen he had been turned into.

Renfield then took off the ISIS fighter’s pink wig and showed his face to the camera so his ISIS compatriots could get a good visual ID of the man showing that he was indeed an ISIS comrade.

The video then showed a film clip of an interview with a professor of medieval Arabic at the University of Manchester who was a specialist in 7th Century Arabic dialects.

He said the verse translated in the Quran promising male believers 72 virgins in paradise should actually be translated “raisins”.

“Just to make sure you get your raisins where you’re going,” Renfield grinned at the camera, “we’re dispatching 72 raisins along with you.”

The video then showed a film clip of two male Beverly Hills hairdressers recently married in a California same-sex wedding ceremony sitting at a table counting out exactly 72 raisins from a bag of California raisins.

They then dropped the 72 raisins into a plastic bag and sealed it with a kiss.

“Especially for the ISIS fighter and martyr,” one of the men blew kisses at the camera before sipping from a pink daiquiri.

“And we have those raisins in the bag right here,” Renfield held up the plastic bag of raisins for the camera, “instead of Columbian coffee beans hand picked by Juan Valdez, we have California raisins hand picked by Beverly Hills hairdressers Harry Capote and Al Truman.”

A movie trailer for that old movie The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is then shown.

Renfield then starts up a chainsaw.

A group of dark- eyed virgins dressed in Middle East harem dresses and veils and wearing t-shirts that say FOR MI-6 EYES ONLY then went over and lifted up the ISIS fighter’s pink mini dress and pulled down his silk panties.

Renfield then took the chainsaw and cut off the ISIS fighter’s phallus.

“Now we pour honey on top,” Renfield poured honey out of a jar on top of the phallus.

“Next we add the 72 raisins,” Renfield using surgical gloved hands reached into the bag of raisins and sprinkled them on top of the honey-covered phallus.

Because of the honey, the raisins immediately stuck to the phallus.

“We don’t have any Ancient Greek drachma coins to put in your mouth to help you with your journey across the River Styx but we do have this,” Renfield then shoved the honey and 72 raisin covered phallus into the ISIS fighter’s mouth.

After showing this image to the camera, the video then went to a clip of the ISIS beheading video of James Foley.

The camera then panned in on the knife the ISIS beheader was holding.

A movie clip of Paul Hogan as Crocodile Dundee speaking his famous line “That’s not a knife” is then shown.

A long shot of Renfield as ninja holding his samurai sword behind the drag queen looking ISIS fighter with the phallus in his mouth.

Renfield then rips off the ISIS fighter’s pink wig.

The camera then pans in on Renfield’s samurai sword.

Another movie clip of Paul Hogan as Crocodile Dundee is then shown.

This time he speaks the line, “Now that’s a knife.”

Renfield then beheads the ISIS fighter with his samurai sword.

The credits are then shown as someone sings the song “My knife is bigger than your knife” in the background.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 28th

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