Adolf Hitler: The Opera: Interlude Between Act I scene i and Act I scene ii

December 22, 2016 at 6:39 pm (History, Music, Musicals, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Adolf Hitler: The Opera: Interlude Between Act I scene i and Act I scene ii

Renfield R. Renfield has decided to put in an interlude between Act I scene i and Act I scene ii for the opera on Adolf Hitler he was commissioned to write.

In this interlude, an actor who looks a lot like the late Ugandan dictator Idi Amin but who has a singing voice that sounds much like singer Harry Belafonte stands on stage between acts and sings the following song:

Hey, has anybody here seen my old friend Adolf?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
He killed a lot of people but the evil they die middle aged
I just looked around and he’s gone.

Hey, has anybody here seen my old friend Josef?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
He killed a lot of people but the evil they die somewhat old
I just looked around and he’s gone

Hey, has anybody here seen my old friend Mao?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
He killed a lot of people but the evil they die elderly
(particularly if they’re Asian- must be that rice diet)
I just looked around and he’s gone

Hey, has anybody here seen my old friend Kim?
Can you tell me where he’s gone?
You’re probably asking me which one?
But to me, North Korean despots all look the same
I just look around and they all look the same

* * *

At this point, Amadeus Emanon stopped reading Renfield’s script.

Said Amadeus while munching on a chocolate eclair, “I’m amazed at the way you were able to work politically incorrect ethnic stereotypes into a song that was already politically incorrect in its praise of despotic dictators.”

“I know,” Renfield grinned, “I just can’t help being a genius.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 22nd
2016.

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Adolf Hitler: The Opera Act I, scene i

December 13, 2016 at 5:32 pm (History, Music, Musicals, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Adolf Hitler: The Opera Act I, Scene i

Renfield R. Renfield had been commissioned by an individual known only as Robur The Conquerer to write an opera about the life of Adolf Hitler.

Most artists would have been reluctant to write an opera about a figure of such infamy.

Renfield was the type of artist who would not succumb to such reluctance.

He’d do anything for money- or a great tasting tuna fish sandwich- or a steamy blow job from a sexy and voluptuous porn star in a hot tub.

Robur The Conquerer arranged for Renfield to get all three.

As a result, Renfield was now working on an opera about Adolf Hitler.

Act I, scene i, Adolf Hitler: The Opera

(The young Hitler stands on the set of a Wagnerian opera that was staged in Linz, Austria and imagines himself to be the knight Parsifal)

Hitler (singing) : To be a Fuhrer King,
to be a Fuhrer King
it is, it is, a glorious thing to be a Fuhrer King.

(He pauses)

Hitler (breaks into song again):
How much is that Swastika in the window?
The only with the squiggly tail.
I do hope that Swastika is for sale.

(He pauses again)

Hitler: I could have Crystal Night
I could have Crystal Night
I could send my troopers
in German beer stein stupors
And smash a thousand windows…

(He pauses again)

Hitler: Oh why can’t the Germans teach their children how to hate
Oh why can’t the Germans teach their children how to hate
For being the Aryan Master Race is assuredly our fate…

(He pauses again)

Hitler: The camps are alive with the sound of screaming
with screams they have screamed
for a thousand years
Our Reich will be blessed with the sound of screaming…

Hitler: Stormtroopers with pistols
marching to Aryan whistles
these are a few of my favourite things…

(He pauses again)

Hitler: Old Jews charge exorbitant rent
Kaisers and Czars are duly spent
I’m a man of means by no means
King of the world

I know all of the nations and all of their names
They will drown in Nordic god rains
old legends I have found
will make our Aryan future sound
I’m a man of means by no means
King of the World

(He pauses again)

Hitler: To be a Fuhrer King,
to be a Fuhrer King
it is, it is a glorious thing
to be a Fuhrer King

Deep Booming Sinister Voice (from back of the theatre) : And what would you give, young Adolf, in return for being a Fuhrer King?

-A Renfieldian opera
written by Christopher
Thursday December 8th
2016.

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