Lilith, Asmodeus, Kim Jong-un and Aphrodite

May 13, 2017 at 3:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith stood on the Mount of Olives overlooking the old city of Jerusalem.

Alongside her was the grey wolf formerly known as Adolf Hitler (his spirit was granted a temporary leave of absence from the Underworld by permission of Hades and Persephone and he had entered and possessed the body of a grey wolf).

Lilith had found the grey wolf wandering the streets of Kiev, Ukraine (where she was currently living) and had adopted the creature as her pet.

She brought him with her to the Holy Land.

“Someday,” Lilith bragged to the grey wolf, “we shall rid this land of all the Jews.”

“Sounds like a splendid idea to me,” the lupine former Fuhrer wagged his tail.

Meanwhile in France, the demon Asmodeus was visiting the village of Rennes-le-Chateau and more specifically the Church of Saint Mary Magdalene.

He had heard that there was a statue of himself holding up the holy water stoup inside the Church.

“A very good likeness,” Asmodeus grinned as he lit a cigarette and took a selfie of himself alongside the statue and posted it to Facebook.

Meanwhile back at the Presidential Palace in Caracas, Venezuela, Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro was in hot water.

His residence was one of the few places in Venezuela where the hot water was still working.

But none of this concerned the megalomaniacal President as he sat in his bath tub text messaging with his ally North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un.

Kim Jong-un boasted to Maduro on his Skype screen, “I’ve got the Greek god Hephaestus designing and making my missiles for me.”

Meanwhile in Athens, Greece, the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had been informed by MI-6’s Diablos Nocturna Division that Hephaestus was now making missiles for Kim Jong-un.

He had arrived in Greece for one purpose.

To convince the Greek goddess Aphrodite to go to Pyongyang North Korea and convince her husband Hephaestus to stop making missiles for Kim Jong-un.

“Why should I do that for you, Dracul Van Helsing?” She asked the Canadian vampire hunter who was also an operative for MI-6.

“I’ll give you an entire evening of reasons why,” said Dracul.

After an evening of passionate love making, Aphrodite got up and greeted the dawn.

The Greek Goddess Aphrodite

“All right,” Aphrodite cooed at Dracul, “I’ll go.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 13th
2017.

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What Lies Beneath The Unmarked Grave?

July 22, 2015 at 9:43 pm (Crime, Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, Humour, International Espionage, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Poetry, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

What Lies Beneath The Unmarked Grave?

Billowing clouds
dark and gray
forming cathedral pillars in the sky
but a dark sinister cathedral
built to receive dark gods and dark sacrifices

The lightning flashed
and the thunder roared
but not a drop of rain poured
for Rennes-le-Chateau like many spots on this planet would suffer drought and intense heat
this summer of 2015.

And Simon Delaney nephew of famed British archaeologist Sir Cedric Delany
trying to become a notable archaeologist in his own right
was about to open an unmarked grave in the cemetery of Saint Mary Magdalene Church
He had finally got all the necessary paperwork from 3 different levels of French government and bureaucracy- municipal, regional and national to open the grave
as well as the permission of the parish and the diocese,

So now in this place haunted by the ghost of Berenger Sauniere and the greedy Gollums of tourist guides
living off the avails of Dan Brown and conspiracy theorists
he Simon Delaney was about to open an unmarked grave-
a grave he believed would be as significant as Howard Carter’s find of Tutankhamun.

But when he opened the grave-
nothing was there-
it was as empty as the inside of a 21st Century Western world church on a Sunday morning.

The old caretaker of the cemetery who looked as if he walked straight off the set of an old Boris Karloff movie
approached carrying a bottle of wine that he sipped from
the caretaker laughed and said the unmarked grave had been opened 3 years ago this summer by a grave robber
who did not bother with the niceties of municipal, regional and national permits
nor with parish and diocesan permission
Rather he had just entered with a shovel on a moonlit night
and started digging
When the previous graveyard caretaker had objected, the grave robber just shot the man (thus leaving a job opening for he the heavy wine drinker to fill) while singing the song from South Pacific that began, “Some enchanted evening…”
When he had finished singing the song and kicking the caretaker’s body away, the grave robber began singing a paraphrased version of another song from South Pacific- his own version going like this, “I’ve got to get this gum right off of my shoe…

Later in the town tavern after digging up the grave, the grave robbing stranger having loaded the body on to a dirigible called The HickingBurp bought drinks for everyone in the house
The stranger said his name was Renfield and he had stolen the body for a friend Dr. Cadbury Rocher
to extract the DNA and make a new creation

And so Simon Delaney left the cemetery a grave stricken man
his dreams turning to dust
“Dust thou art and unto dust thou shalt return”.

Someone had stolen the body of the Baphomet
The body of the creature he believed buried there
The creature whose body was found in Jerusalem almost a millennium ago by the Knights Templar
and buried there by Knights Templar who wished to avoid Jacques de Molay’s celebrity roast
at the hands of King Philip IV of France
and Pope Clement V.

For what nefarious purpose had this Dr. Cadbury Rocher used the DNA of the Baphomet’s body?
Delaney asked himself as he walked by a windswept copy of an old Rolling Stone magazine
whose front cover bore the image of celebrity serial killer Pan Goatee.

An unmarked grave
and no body inside for him to find.

Delaney found himself asking a question once posed by a character in a Flannery O’ Connor novel who was sitting in a movie theatre eating popcorn and watching an extremely bad movie,
“What degenerate produced this abortion?”.

-A narrative free verse poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 22nd
2015.

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