Michelangelo’s Vision of Rick Santorum’s Wife Being Shot

March 26, 2018 at 10:21 pm (Commentary, Crime, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Michelangelo’s Vision of Rick Santorum’s Wife Being Shot

Amadeus Emanon was in the Set Enterprises laboratory eating a dozen grilled cheese sandwiches and watching Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster who was in his aquarium playing with a waterproof Sherrielock Holmes leather skirted dominatrix Barbie doll.

Suddenly Michelangelo let out a penetrating screech which caused Amadeus to momentarily pause in the middle of eating one of his grilled cheese sandwiches 🥪.

Thirty seconds later Amadeus resumed eating as Michelangelo picked up a psychic vision from the future on his lobster antennae.

The vision was of British MP Renfield R. Renfield on his first political trip to America as a member of the British House of Commons.

Mr. Renfield was at a fancy cocktail 🍹 🍸 political reception in Washington DC.

Absent from the reception was Donald Trump because his hairpiece toupee had been stolen by a Kraken who had mistaken it for a fresh water nest of baby salmon eggs.

“Caviar is being served,” Lexington the White House valet announced.

Among the guests at the reception were former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum and his wife Karen Garver Santorum.

Mrs. Santorum went up to the table where caviar was being served when she was confronted by a man waving a gun.

The man had been diagnosed with a dozen different mental illnesses by psychiatrists at one of the country’s leading medical centres last year.

Last week he had been re-elected the Membership Secretary of his local chapter of the NRA.

And this morning he had purchased a dozen different assault rifles from a local store including the one he now pointed directly at Mrs. Santorum.

The man pressed the trigger eight times in rapid succession.

As FBI agents ran to tackle the man, Renfield spoke sharply to the mentally inept American politician Sen. Rick Santorum, “Don’t stand there like an idiot. Go perform CPR on your wife.”

“But… but… but..” Sen. Santorum stammered, “I’ve never taken a CPR course in my entire life.”

“You’re as useless as tits on a bull aren’t you?” Renfield handed Sen. Santorum his glass of champagne, “Here hold this.”

Renfield ran over to Mrs. Santorum saying, “I have taken a course in CPR.”

Then he glared angrily back at Sen. Santorum, “Shows the truth of that old saying… Those who can, do. Those who can’t, pontificate endlessly on one of many subjects they know nothing whatsoever about.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 26th
2018.

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