Amadeus’ Dream of Three Bruces

August 11, 2015 at 6:39 pm (Culture, Entertainment, History, News, Television, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Amadeus’ Dream of Three Bruces

Despite Black Dragon Society conspiracy theorist Daniel Hyperion Sturm’s warnings about not using the Internet before bedtime, Amadeus Emanon had foolishly done so.

And as a result, he was having weird dreams.

Though of course not as weird as Renfield in the bedroom adjacent across the hall who likewise had been using the Internet before bedtime and was now dreaming about being in a Turkish steam bath with porn stars Akira Lane, Nicole Oring and Mika Tan.

Amadeus was dreaming that he and Renfield were sitting in the living room listening to BBC World News on the radio.

BBC Announcer: And those were the words of Miss Caitlyn Jenner, formerly Mr. Bruce Jenner, christening the new Disney cruise ship The Goddess Cybele… In other news, Caitlyn Jenner’s daughter Kylie Jenner has apparently adopted a pet rabbit and named it Bruce.

Amadeus: Wow. I wonder what Sigmund Freud would have to say about that?

Renfield (downing a bottle of Kraken black rum): It might have been more ominous if she had named the rabbit Elektra or Orestes.

BBC Announcer: This bulletin just in… Kylie Jenner has taken her pet rabbit Bruce to see a New Age veterinary guru in Beverly Hills who claims she has the power to communicate telepathically with animals. After silently communicating with the gray rabbit Bruce, New Age guru Miss Kellog S. Flakes said that Bruce had told her that he was really a female rabbit trapped in a male body and that he wanted to undergo veterinary transgender therapy, become a female rabbit, change his/her name to Caitlyn and become the Playboy bunny he/she always desired to be…

Renfield (spewing the Kraken black rum out of his mouth to the goldfish tank on the other side of the room making the goldfish look a lot happier): Good God.

BBC Announcer: Closer to home here in London, the ghost of Scotland’s extremely late King Robert the Bruce spoke to reporters while being channeled through Carnaby Street spiritist gypsy medium Dulcinea Lucia…

Voice of Scotland’s Robert The Bruce (speaking in a thick Scottish brogue while being channeled through Dulcinea Lucia) : Well as you know, we Scots in our day (although there’s nothing wee about us) used to wear kilts much of the time so nobody could have possibly guessed that I was in fact a cross-dresser… a female trapped in a male body. If William Wallace had known, he’d have probably personally impaled his braveheart on Edward I’s English sword…

BBC Announcer: Robert the Bruce added that from henceforth, he desires to be known as Roberta the Caitlyn…

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 11th
2015.

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Cameron’s New Diplomatic Appointment

October 16, 2014 at 5:54 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Cameron’s New Diplomatic Appointment

On the advice of Welsh werewolf backbench British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley given during a post-mortem debriefing on the Scottish independence referendum campaign, British Prime Minister David Cameron named William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas the Scottish National Party MSP (Member of the Scottish Parliament) for the Eildon Hills to a British diplomatic post in Her Majesty’s Foreign Service.

Magog said it would be good political strategy for two reasons:

First, it would show Scottish nationalists and their electoral supporters that the British government at Westminster in London held no ill will towards them.

Second, and this was most important, Magog pointed out, that it would get a charismatic figure like William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas out of the country.

The Eildon Hills MSP was probably about the 7th or 8th most influential figure in the Scottish National Party and given the party’s loss in the independence referendum campaign, there was a possibility that he could move up in influence as some of the more senior figures in the Scottish National Party retired like Scottish First Minister and Scottish National Party leader Alex Salmond had done.

And given William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas’ innate charisma, there might be no stopping the Scottish independence movement in the future, Magog had warned Cameron.

Magog understood that the post of deputy consul at the British Consulate in West Jerusalem was now available and William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas had always said he found it tragic that the embalmed heart of Robert the Bruce had never found its way to Jerusalem like Scotland’s King Robert the Bruce had requested to his friend and lieutenant Sir James Douglas before the king died on June 7th 1329.

“Therefore,” Magog said to Cameron, “William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas would now go to the city where the heart of Robert the Bruce should have been.”

British Prime Minister David Cameron used that quote of Magog Rhys Petley when he made the announcement the morning of Wednesday October 15th 2014 that he was appointing the Scottish National Party MSP for the Eildon Hills William Wallace Rob Roy James Stuart Douglas the new deputy consul at the British Consulate in West Jerusalem.

. . .

The mysterious figure within Mossad known as the Controller of the Golem was reflecting on a dream that an elderly rabbi at the synagogue he had attended had insisted on telling him at the previous Sabbath service.

The elderly rabbinical cleric had been a student of Kabbalah all his life and was prone to many mysterious dreams and visions.

In this dream, the rabbi said he saw the Archangel Raphael standing in a river of fishes while a river of blood flowed by on the other side.

A giant salmon leapt out of the water alongside Raphael.

The salmon went down and then a giant sturgeon leapt out of the water alongside Raphael.

A medieval knight rose out of the river of fishes and opened his suit of armour and cast his heart into the river of blood.

Spoke Raphael in the dream, “The so-called spring in the desert is but a river of blood and Israel will soon be surrounded by enemies seeking its destruction and annihilation. And when the salmon is replaced by the sturgeon, then shall a brave Scottish heart come to the Holy City and soon Israel’s enemies will themselves be destroyed.”

Bizarre dream, the Controller of the Golem thought.

The Controller of the Golem then checked a brief summary of the international news of the day.

Nicola Sturgeon had replaced Alex Salmond as leader of the Scottish National Party and was slated to become Scotland’s next First Minister.

For some reason, that item leapt out at him as he scanned the page.

He put the international news summary aside and picked up a document listing the new diplomatic appointments by other countries to the State of Israel.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 15th
2014.

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