The Cat People and The Wolfman

October 12, 2022 at 10:58 pm (Culture, Entertainment, Film, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, Movies, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Simone Simon as Irena Dubrovna the black panther shapeshifting cat woman New York City based Serbian born and raised fashion illustrator who tore a psychiatrist to pieces with her claws

Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds the Vicar of Saint Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic C. of E. Parish Church in West London was meeting with one of his parishioners the world-famous concert pianist Amadeus Emanon in his vicarage kitchen who was enjoying the homemade cinnamon buns made by Father Aidan’s housekeeper Mrs. Lancaster.

Amadeus Emanon was already on his 36th cinnamon bun.

“Do you suppose Mrs. Lancaster might make some more?” Amadeus asked as he looked at the now empty plate.

“Well I do believe it takes awhile to make those cinnamon buns,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds explained, “plus I think she’s currently busy listening to your friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s Wednesday night podcast.”

From upstairs in Mrs. Lancaster’s bedroom could be heard the voice of Renfield R. Renfield saying, “Wow. What a shocker. The cocaine snorting editors of Britain’s The Economist Magazine are calling for cocaine use to be legalized.”

“You know,” Amadeus helped himself to a gingerbread cookie man that Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds brought him from the refrigerator, “Renfield was telling me that Russian President Vladimir Putin hired a Siberian shaman to go to New York City and raise from the dead the body of the Serbian cat woman Irena Dubrovna. As Miss Dubrovna’s spirit has graduated from Purgatory to Paradise, she won’t be returning to her body. However a famous homicidally inclined Byzantine mermaid Echidna Antiochus who was put to death on the Byzantine Emperor Justinian I’s orders has had her spirit granted a dispensational release from the Underworld by Hades and has taken possession of Irena Dubrovna’s body.
She is going to Kiev Ukraine as an ally of Putin and will be using Irena Dubrovna’s body to turn into a black panther to rip apart bodies of Ukrainians because the demon Moloch appearing as Saint Michael the Archangel has told Vladimir Putin that it’s the right thing to do.”

“How horrifying,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds made the Sign of the Cross.

Father Aidan’s making the Sign of the Cross caused a Calvinist street preacher standing on the sidewalk outside the vicarage to drop dead.

“The thing is,” Amadeus scratched his head, “I always thought the 1942 film The Cat People starring Simone Simon was a work of fiction. I didn’t think it was based on a real incident and I didn’t think Irena Dubrovna was a real actual person.”

“Well, it turns out,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds checked out a passage in the Rev. Montague Summers’ unpublished work (written before he died) Occultic Folklore and Legend As Found In Film, “that there really was an Irena Dubrovna in the late 1930s and that what happened in the film was true.”

“Wow,” Amadeus Emanon walked over to the refrigerator and brought out the entire plate of gingerbread men cookies that he then started eating, “Next thing you know you’ll be telling me that there really was a werewolf called Larry Talbot and that the classic 1941 Universal Pictures monster horror film called The Wolfman that starred Lon Chaney Jr., Claude Rains and Evelyn Ankers was based on something that actually happened in real life.”

“Well, actually,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds cleared his throat, “I can tell you that Larry Talbot did actually exist and what happened in the 1941 film The Wolfman was true and I don’t need to consult the Rev. Montague Summers’ unpublished work Occultic Folklore and Legend As Found In Film to determine that. For it turns out my grandfather the Anglican clergyman Father Augustine Bury Saint Edmunds was the curate of Saint Magloire’s Church in Llanwelly Wales near Talbot Castle at the time Larry Talbot arrived in the village to flirt with Gwen Conliffe the daughter of the village antique shop owner and to get bitten by Bela the gypsy fortune telling werewolf.”

“Really?” Amadeus paused in the middle of eating his 6th gingerbread man cookie.

“Yes,” Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds nodded, “As an interesting postscript to the film which ended with Larry Talbot getting killed by his own wolf’s head silver cane walking stick wielded by Larry’s father Sir John Talbot, the Talbot Castle game keeper Frank Andrews (played by actor Patric Knowles in the film), who was Gwen Conliffe’s fiance, ended up getting killed by a wererabbit bunny rabbit that had apparently been originally bitten by Larry Talbot. After the Saint Magloire’s Church exorcism team made Welsh rarebit out of the Welsh wererabbit, after an appropriate period of mourning for the late departed Mr. Andrews, Gwen Conliffe ended up marrying the young curate Father Augustine Bury Saint Edmunds. So Gwen Conliffe is actually my grandmother.”

“Holy fuck,” Amadeus Emanon commented.

Mrs. Lancaster came down the stairs and washed Amadeus Emanon’s mouth out with soap.

. . .

Outside 10 Downing Street, Larry the 10 Downing Street cat was chasing away the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow and his spectral black horse.

Inside 10 Downing Street, former British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was trying to convince current British Prime Minister Liz Truss to hire a witch doctor or shaman to raise the famous Wolfman werewolf Larry Talbot from the dead in the Llanwelly Village Cemetery in Wales and send him to eastern Ukraine to eat and devour Russian soldiers.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 12th
2022.

Gwen Conliffe (Evelyn Ankers) among the gypsies

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Svetlana Kireeva, Vladimir Putin and The Mysterious Horn In Byzantium

September 21, 2022 at 11:37 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Russian vampiress and FSB agent Svetlana Kireeva awaits the launch of a nuclear missile which would be fired from a secret location in Moscow

Earlier in the day, Russian President Vladimir Putin announced on Russian national television that he would be mobilizing 300,000 reservists in an effort to save his would-be Neo-Imperialist Czarist ass in Ukraine.

To the right of Putin stood the ghost of the late U.S. President LBJ.

“Well scratch my ass and think about Israel,” LBJ laughed, “It looks like Ukraine is turning into Russia’s Vietnam.”

In the corner of the room sat the ghost of Jim Morrison weeping in a chair.

“Why,” Morrison sobbed, “of all the ghost stories in all the world did I first have to appear in one written by the world’s most boring author Phil Huston?”.

To the left of Morrison’s ghost was a holographic image of Alice Cooper who was committing hari kari with the pointy end of his mace for the same reason that Morrison’s ghost sat sobbing in a chair.

It was the first time that Russian reservists had been called up since the Second World War.

As Putin’s face was sprayed by a whole bunch of ghostly spectral holographic blood issuing forth from the intestines of the well hari-karied ghostly spectral holographic image of Alice Cooper who was busy singing his last ever hit Farewll To My Nightmare, Putin announced that he would be using nuclear weapons against the West.

To that end, Russian vampiress and FSB agent Svetlana Kireeva received a text message from Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit secret agent Miranda Singh asking if the two of them could meet in Stockholm Sweden in an effort to prevent global nuclear war.

. . .

Senile old fool Joe Biden was meeting with one of his advisors after the Irish Celtic demon Balor Biden’s speech to the UN General Assembly.

“Mr. President,” his advisor advised, “Regarding Putin’s threatened use of nuclear weapons, you have a secret personal weapon of your own to use in your dealings with Mr. Putin.”

“I do? And what secret personal weapon of my own would that be?” Biden asked as he broke wind and then let loose with a bowel movement.

The advisor was unable to answer Biden’s question as he immediately dropped dead from sulphurous exhaust fumes.

. . .

The Byzantine Emperor Justinian I was sitting on his throne in Constantinople in the year 537 AD when an envoy from Arthur King of the Britons appeared.

“Your Imperial Majesty, your noble ally Arthur King of the Britons is dead after having been slain by his evil son Mordred at the Battle of Camlann,” the envoy stated, “His repentant half-sister Morgan le Fay wants you to have this.”

“What is it?” Justinian asked.

“It’s the horn of Arthur’s personal Unicorn,” the envoy explained, “A Unicorn that was slain by Mordred the evil son of Arthur King of the Britons and Morgan le Fay.”

“Let me see,” the beautiful Byzantine Empress Theodora rose from her throne.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 21st
2022.

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Xi In Kazakhstan

September 14, 2022 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Greek goddess Hera was in Astana Kazakhstan today.
As was Pope Francis and Communist China’s supreme despot Xi Jinping.

Hera was visiting Astana today because she had heard that Zeus would be attending the Kazakhstani 7th InterFaith Congress.

Zeus was most definitely in Astana (the Kazakh capital currently suffers under the revolting name Nur-Sultan named after a Kazakhstani politician and former President Nursultan Nazarbayev).

(Editor’s Note from Renfield R. Renfield: Due to the efforts of a Calgary based geopolitical analyst and blogger who has been pointing out in his blog posts the past few days that the name Astana reflects good taste while the name Nur-Sultan reflects bad taste , the government of Kazakhstan announced earlier today that it would be changing the Kazakh capital’s name back to Astana).

Zeus was here to chase a beautiful Jordanian princess (a distant cousin of Jordan’s King Abdullah II) who was here in Astana attending the InterFaith Congress on behalf of the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan.

After cornering the Jordanian princess and asking her to come back to his palace on Mount Olympus where Zeus told her, “I’ll show you the way I ride my bulls”, the Jordanian princess shouted “Revenge for Ixion!” and kicked Zeus in the groin with her spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes.

As Zeus lay on the ground groaning over his groin, Hera came by and hit Zeus over the head with the world’s largest watermelon that had been sent to the InterFaith Congress as a gift from former U.S. President Barack Obama.

Zeus now lay unconscious in a pool of Neo-Bolshevik red coloured juice while the ghost of Josef Stalin and the vampire Lev Tomi (who in his mortal life had been Leon Trotsky) sang that old Platters hit song “Oh yes I’m the Great Pretender…”

And speaking of pretenders and imposters, Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) had to google Who Was Jesus Christ? prior to giving a speech because the so-called Holy Father had forgotten who He was.

And also in Astana Kazakhstan on this day was Communist China’s paramount leader and all round despotic tyrant Xi Jinping.

Xi’s visit to Astana Kazakhstan on this day was his first trip outside Communist China ever since he had released bat virus from the Wuhan Institute of Virology and had begun the plandemic.

“Unholy bat virus, Batman,” a talking robin spoke as he flew down on top of Xi’s hair and crapped all over him.

An immediate search was underway to find some PH Unbalanced Shampoo to shampoo the robin crap out of Xi’s hair.

A bottle was found in The Homicidal Sasquatch Pub in downtown Astana.

Sitting in the pub was the great Irish-Jewish American science-fiction writer George Finneganburg who was talking to the Russian made cyborg sex robot Sophia.

Sophia had been invented by the former East German Stasi scientist Dr. Nicht Werhoffen (who now worked for the Russian FSB).

The cyborg sex robot Sophia had made out with Dracul Van Helsing on a roundtable in the Kazakh Palace of Religion in Astana in 2013.

An incident that was recorded in a geopolitical analyst’s blog post back in 2013 (although at that time the geopolitical analyst lived in Vancouver and not Calgary).

“You mean to say,” George Finneganburg quickly downed his beer, “that Dracul Van Helsing came up with a cyborg sex robot before I did? How the Hell am I going to break the news to Akira?”.

Once the robin crap had been washed out of Xi’s hair, he then met with Kazakh government officials.

After his Astana visit, Xi would be flying to the Russian capital of Moscow for a Kremlin summit meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin in order to discuss the war in Ukraine.

As such, Xi had brought along his Supernatural spirit advisor the Black Dragon to Astana and the winged demon serpent covered in charcoal black would also be accompanying Xi to Moscow.

There the Black Dragon would be meeting with Putin’s supernatural advisor “Saint Michael the Archangel” (who was not really Saint Michael the Archangel but was really the demon Moloch posing as the Archangel Michael in an effort to fool the megalomaniacal would-be Deutero-Czar Peter the Great aka Putin).

Kwan Yin the immortal princess (venerated as the Goddess of Mercy in some sects of Buddhism) and her descendant the South Korean vampire huntress Hyung Grace Kwan were keeping tags on Xi in Astana and would be following him to Moscow for his meeting with Putin.

Xi was now attending a state banquet in his honour with Kazakh government leaders in Astana.

Before Xi sat down at the banquet table, a small robotic Paddington Bear (called Paddy O’ Marmalade), who had been invented by Set Enterprises’ scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague, put a combination of honey, marmalade and Crazy Glue down on Xi’s chair.

When Xi sat down, he got hopelessly stuck and couldn’t get up again.

As members of the Kazakh honour guard struggled to get Xi free from the chair that his pants were hopelessly glued to, the Paddington Bear robot named Paddy O’ Marmalade came and threw a Peking Duck and Thousand Year Old Egg laced cream pie in his face.

The cream pie had been specially prepared and baked by Harvey Tallbanger the 6 foot 8 tall invisible Welsh pooka bunny rabbit who worked as a secret agent for Set Enterprises.

Between his butt stuck to the chair and his face covered in Peking Duck and Thousand Year Old Egg cream pie, Xi did not really look like a great leader.

It was at that moment that the ghost of Winston Churchill (representing the British government) presented Xi with a Winnie the Pooh t-shirt.

Of course Xi could not put it on because of his current predicament.

Just then a holographic image of British MP Renfield R. Renfield appeared and started to sing to the tune of the Beatles song Hey Jude:

“Hey Xi, don’t ask me why
Take a sad song and make it badder
Remember vaccines get under your skin
Changing your DNA
Until you become Transhuman, human, human, human, human,…”

Renfield was broadcasting from the living room of the Set Estate mansion in London, England.

In the background could be heard the sound of Amadeus Emanon opening the door to pick up the Chinese Food delivery they had ordered from a Chinese restaurant.

“Hey Amadeus,” Renfield piped up, “Ask the delivery guy how do you say “Xi Jinping, you are a total loser” in Chinese?”.

Amadeus asked.

And the Chinese Food delivery guy answered adding and ad libbing a few nasty pejoratives of his own.

Renfield spoke in perfect Mandarin (with some Cantonese thrown in for good measure) telling Xi that he was a total loser and throwing in the delivery guy’s added ad libbed nasty pejoratives of his own.

Xi was livid with rage although you couldn’t tell because his face was covered in Peking Duck and Thousand Year Old Egg cream pie while his bottom was still being pulled away from the butt locking combination of honey, marmalade and Crazy Glue on his chair.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 14th
2022.

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Miriam Hasafa In Moscow

June 8, 2022 at 9:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Set Enterprises Intelligence Agent Miriam Hasafa was in Moscow

Miriam Hasafa an Intelligence operative and special agent for the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit (of the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set) was in Moscow the capital of the Russian Federation.

Her assignment was to infiltrate the inner circle of Russian President Vladimir Putin and to determine what, if anything, he had planned in using nuclear weapons during the course of the Ukraine-Russia War.

Standing in front of the Kremlin, Miriam Hasafa was talking on a secure smart phone with another Set Enterprises Intelligence operative Miranda Singh who was at Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit Headquarters in London.

The Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit had managed a counter-espionage coup earlier this year when they managed to stop a Russian Intelligence plot to assassinate the actor who played Paddington Bear prior to filming what became the popular Platinum Jubilee Celebrations video in which Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II had had tea with Paddington Bear at Buckingham Palace.

Both Miriam Hasafa and Miranda Singh were instrumental in stopping the plot to bump off dear old Paddington.

Also with some help from Sherrielock Holmes (the quite literally immortal twin sister of famous London consulting detective Sherlock Holmes) who managed to get a captured Russian Intelligence agent to talk.

The counter-espionage coup seemed to benefit everyone in Britain from Paddington Bear to the Queen’s Paddington Bear adoring great-grandchildren Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis of Cambridge to Her Majesty herself to the pillow department at Harrods Department Store in London where they made huge profits in the sale of very very very comfortable pillows to a now defrocked Russian Intelligence agent.

Miranda Singh gave Miriam Hasafa the World Intelligence update.

Among the interesting tidbits Miranda gave Miriam was that Joe Biden, on the advice of the fallen Archangel Mephistopheles, had refused to condemn the assassination attempt on Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh.

Alyssa Milano the Baal and Moloch worshipping airheaded star of the early 2000s TV series Charmed was in a Los Angeles witchcraft store wanting her money back on a Brett Kavanaugh voodoo doll and pin that she had recently purchased.

Miriam thought to herself that the United States of America was going to Hell in a handbasket held by a badly dressed Handmaid’s Tale banshee hag.

She went off to a Moscow restaurant in hopes that she would prevent the rest of the world from going to Hell in a handbasket.

. . .

Russian President Vladimir Putin was sitting in his office in the Kremlin when the door opened and in walked a ghost white salamander.

The ghost white salamander was wearing a top hat, a tuxedo and a Larry King autographed bow tie.

The salamander doffed his top hat, bowed and said, “My name is Belvedere. And I invite you to dine at the Oasis Gardens Assyrian Restaurant here in Moscow.”

The salamander left a business card with the restaurant’s address on it on Putin’s desk, bowed and left.

Putin picked up the card.

. . .

Russian President Vladimir Putin entered the Oasis Gardens Assyrian Restaurant a new dining establishment here in downtown Moscow.

He gazed around the room when he saw this vision:

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 8th
2022.

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Miriam Hasafa

June 7, 2022 at 9:41 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , )

Miriam Hasafa was an intelligence agent for the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit

Miriam Hasafa was currently in Astana, Kazakhstan.

Her employer the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set preferred to call it Astana not really approving of its name change to Nur-Sultan in 2019 seeing that he didn’t approve of capital cities being named after politicians.

She would soon be flying to Moscow where she’d be investigating the intrigues of Vladimir Putin’s Kremlin.

The Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit were doing a lot of work these days.

Vladimir Putin was seeking to rebuild the Russian Imperial Empire of Peter the Great.

The World Economic Forum, the European Union, NATO and much of the Western World were seeking to build a totalitarian New World Order that would become the home base of the Antichrist when he made his appearance on the global stage.

In the U.S., the Moloch Deep State within the American CIA were using a new sound wave technology to get nutcases to shoot people in mass shootings so that there would be increasing demands for gun confiscation so that no one would be able to resist the New World Order when Joe Biden’s handlers decide to impose it on America.

And then there was the Russia-Ukraine War which seemed to be turning into a long war of attrition using conventional warfare methods.

But Vladimir Putin had been hinting since the war began that he might use hypersonic missiles on western capitals.

The threats were dismissed by most western media commentators (although most western media commentators have never once made an accurate geopolitical prognostication ever since World War I broke out in the summer of 1914. They’re about as accurate as the health “experts” were in the plandemic of 2020-2021).

So the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit had cause for concern.

Thus they were sending one of their best agents Miriam Hasafa to Moscow to find out what Vladimir Putin and his advisors were up to.

Miriam Hasafa about to begin a dangerous mission.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 7th
2022.

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