Pan Goatee and Pope Francis’ Nocturnal Dream of Hell

April 11, 2018 at 10:26 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee and Pope Francis’ Nocturnal Dream of Hell

Satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was riding the bus when suddenly an extremely ugly looking woman boarded the bus holding hands with a 3-year-old girl.

Exclaimed Pan Goatee, “That ugly looking woman is the one who’s kidnapped the Lindbergh baby 🍼.”

Pan Goatee grabbed his astral laser machete and cut the ugly woman’s head off.

“You’re mistaken,” said a retired college professor of American history who was riding the bus but was grateful that the satyr had decapitated the ugly looking female, “the Lindbergh baby was a boy and if he were still alive today, he’d be 87 years old not 3.”

“Wow, I guess you can’t believe everything you read on Wikipedia,” Pan Goatee remarked as he booted the ugly looking head out the door and down the street.

. . .

Pope Francis was having a dream.

He was dreaming that he was in Hell.

“How can this be?” The pontiff shouted, “I said Hell doesn’t exist in a newspaper interview I gave recently.”

The fallen angel Mephistopheles walked by reading a book called Fake Papal Pronouncements With Foreword by Donald Trump.

Pope Francis suddenly saw a scene from Alice In Wonderland.

A Hellish looking Alice In Wonderland tea party modelled on Leonardo Da Vinci’s painting of The Last Supper.

This was what Francis saw:

https://pin.it/qhirdsp2qz2wdl

“We may have to change our format for the Eucharistic Communion Service,” Francis thought aloud in his dream, “although I’ve long been of the opinion that the Liturgy of the Mass needed revolutionary change and a massive paradigm shift.”

The Mad Hatter who had the face of Walter Cardinal Kasper applauded vigorously.

The Queen of Hearts who had the face of Raymond Cardinal Burke pointed at Francis and said “Off with his head.”

. . .

Donald Trump looked out the Oval Office of the White House and asked the question, “What’s the best way to punish Bashar al-Assad for using chemical weapons against his own people?”.

A vision of Zeus holding a thunderbolt appeared in the clouds above the White House saying, “Release the Kraken.”

Trump was immediately on the phone to U.S. Secretary of Defence Jim Mattis, “Jim, do you know where I can get a Kraken?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 11th
2018.

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The Feast of The Beast 2018

March 23, 2018 at 10:23 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Feast of The Beast 2018

Desiree was 16 years old.

She obviously did not pay much attention to current Hollywood news.

Because while walking the Hollywood Walk of Fame, a limousine pulled up.

The limousine’s back window rolled down and an older man- a well known Hollywood actor- invited her into the limo for a ride.

If she knew her Hollywood news, she’d have realized that Hollywood was crawling with a lot of perverts.

Later Desiree in her blue mini dress found herself tied to a sacrificial altar beneath a statue of the Baphomet inside the Hollywood actor’s mansion.

“What are you doing?” Desiree shouted.

“I’m sacrificing you to Baphomet,” the actor replied and lowered his knife and slit her throat and did just that.

. . .

“Lexington,” Donald Trump called for his English butler and valet.

“What is it, sir?” Lexington asked.

“A charcoal burnt human hand just crawled across the floor by itself,” Trump said.

“No need to worry, sir,” Lexington went to the closet, “I’ll use a Swiffer Wet Jet to wash the floor.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Trump reflected, “and find out whose hand it is. I’m going to fire that person in a tweet.”

. . .

Two scientists were conducting an evening test at the CERN Large Hadron Collider in Geneva, Switzerland.

One scientist remarked to the other, “That seems to be a very realistic looking statue of Shiva the Transformer by the door.”

“Yes, it is,” the other scientist agreed.

Suddenly there was an explosion 💥 from the tunnel tube.

A huge hole opened up and out walked the multi armed goddess Kali.

She went up and kissed the statue of Shiva.

“I think,” said the scientist to his fellow researcher, “the next time they decide to erect the statue of a god on Collider grounds, they better hire a sculptor who specializes in a more abstract form of sculpture.”

. . .

Prince Vlad Dracula, the Byzantine Vampiress Theodora (who was the Byzantine Empress Theodora the wife of the Emperor Justinian in her mortal life) and the Israeli Mossad agent the Controller of The Golem had just captured a group of Turkish officers who were leading Turkish troops against their allies the Kurds.

“I think we should hand these Turkish officers over to British MP Renfield R. Renfield for interrogation,” said Dracula.

“I agree,” Theodora started wiping the blood off her gown with a towel soaked in Tide laundry detergent.

“Renfield can be quite ruthless in his interrogations,” noted the Controller of The Golem.

Theodora played on her iPhone a recent speech given by Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan in which he called on the 57 member state Organization of The Islamic Conference to unite as one army and destroy the State of Israel 🇮🇱.

“Hand them over to Renfield,” the Controller agreed.

. . .

Russian President Vladimir Putin was out deer 🦌 hunting on a country estate just north of Moscow.

Putin stumbled across what he thought was a stag with a very impressive set of antlers.

And in one way it was.

For the stag was actually Cernunnos the horned Celtic god of animals and the underworld.

Cernunnos stood up on its hind legs and with a crossbow it carried in its forearms it fired an arrow which moved with rapid lightning speed.

The arrow struck Putin in the forehead and the Russian leader fell to the ground.

Later at the nearby dacha where Putin was taken, the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was awakened and informed what happened.

“A stag with a rapid firing crossbow did this, you say?” She asked one of Putin’s fellow hunters who nodded, “That was no ordinary stag. That was Cernunnos the horned god of the Celtic pantheon. The arrow was poison tipped and the poison is now in Putin’s bloodstream. I must suck all the blood out and replace it with my own in order for him to live.”

“But how will you live then?” Asked the bodyguard.

“Thank you for your sacrifice for your Motherland and your leader,” Lilith bit him on the neck and drained all his blood which she then spit out and put in a large glass container and put in the freezer for safekeeping.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 23rd
2018.

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Michelangelo’s Vision of Moscow and Putin In The Future

March 11, 2018 at 10:31 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Michelangelo’s Vision of Moscow and Putin In The Future

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was asleep 💤 in his lobster tank at the Set Enterprises laboratories when suddenly his lobster antennae picked up a vision of Moscow and Vladimir Putin from the near future.

The re-elected Russian 🇷🇺 President had been given an invitation to an opening of a new exclusive men’s hairstyling salon 💇‍♂️ in Moscow where the hairstylists were all breathtakingly beautiful and young topless and short skirted Russian women.

Although the Russian President was quite bald and chose not to wear an orangish coloured red spider monkey fur toupee (unlike some world leaders), he decided to take advantage of the free haircut and shave.

He could always use a scalp massage and a shave.

Putin was given a thoroughly pleasing scalp massage by the young attractive female hairstylist who did a lot of bending over as she went to get more water from the sink and more hair massage cream from the lower drawers.

“Moscow always has such lovely views this time of year,” Putin remarked to the young blonde hairstylist.

“Indeed it does,” she smiled and winked at him, “Are you ready for your hot towel shave?”.

“Yes,” Putin smiled.

She then put the steaming hot towel on his face.

“Oh God, it burns, it burns!” Putin screamed.

Putin scrambled off the chair and on to the floor still screaming, “It burns. It burns.”

“I imagine it does,” a grinning Renfield R. Renfield MP from Britain’s Westminster Parliament stood in front of him.

Renfield was dressed in a James Bond style white tuxedo suit and sipping a martini 🍸- shaken not stirred.

“All these hairstylists are paid operatives for MI-6,” Renfield lit a cigarette with a gold cigarette lighter.

Amadeus came into the salon carrying a toy piano 🎹 and sat down at the piano and played the song As Time Goes By.

“You’re probably wondering to yourself,” Renfield blew cigarette smoke in Bogart style fashion into the air, “Why of all the hairstyling salons in all the world did that nasty Brit Renfield R. Renfield have to walk into this one?”.

“It burns, it burns,” Putin seemed to be singing a Russian Orthodox style litany of pain on the spot.

“Like I said this hairstyling salon is actually an MI-6 operation,” Renfield smiled, “and that burning sensation you’re still feeling from the steaming hot towel is probably caused by a smattering of VX nerve agent on the towel- the same substance that killed Kim Jong-nam (the half-brother of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un) when two women attacked his face with towels at Kuala Lumpur International Airport on February 13th last year. But don’t worry the amount put on your towel isn’t enough to kill you. Just enough to give you the most delectable amount of pain until you do face your death.”

“How am I to die?” Asked Putin.

The topless short skirted hairstylists had meanwhile grabbed Putin and took off all his clothes and then forced him into a kneeling position with his bum stuck up in the air.

“Allow me to introduce you to Mr. Harvey Weinstein,” Renfield introduced the disgraced Hollywood producer who likewise was in the all together save for the pair of glasses 👓 he was wearing, “Mr. Weinstein was recently given a serum invented by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher. This serum turned him gay.”

A look of realization and horror entered Putin’s eyes.

“Well there you go, Harvey,” Renfield pointed to the Russian leader’s most inviting derrière, “go to it.”

Weinstein mounted Putin while Amadeus played the song Home On The Range on the piano followed by the theme music to the film Brokeback Mountain.

“Mr. Weinstein’s phallus has been laced with the same nerve agent used in the attack on Sergei Skripal and his daughter Yulia in Salisbury,” Renfield explained, “though somewhat modified by Dr. Cadbury Rocher. Mr. Weinstein’s phallus is not harmed by the substance that it is carrying. However the same cannot be said for your rear end. You shall die a most unique and excruciating 😖 death 💀.”

“How could you do this?” Putin had tears in his eyes as well as Weinstein’s phallus in his behind.

“I was authorized to do it by an emergency meeting of Cobra 🐍 by the British government this past March 10,” Renfield smiled, “though I was given full artistic control over the whole operation so I could give it my own Renfieldian artistic flourish.”

As Weinstein exploded in orgasm, Amadeus played She’ll Be Coming Round The Mountain ⛰ When She Comes on the piano.

“Salisbury, thou art avenged!” Putin shouted as he gave up the ghost 👻.

“I wonder if I can get a good Salisbury steak somewhere in Moscow,” asked Amadeus who was starting to feel hungry 😋.

Meanwhile Renfield was looking at one of the beautiful topless short skirted hairstylists and said to her, “Feodora, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 11th
2018.

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Agamemnon and Putin

February 27, 2018 at 11:00 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Agamemnon and Putin

King Agamemnon of Mycenae was well aware that his brother Menelaus the king of Sparta was pissed.

That horny young Trojan stud Paris had run off with Menelaus’ wife Helen and had taken her back to Troy with him.

Menelaus was anxious to wage war on the Trojans.

Agamemnon wasn’t sure whether it was right to sack an entire city over the loss of one woman.

Possibly negotiations could be done with Troy and Helen could be sent back to Sparta peacefully to receive her punishment.

Ares the god of war however had different ideas.

He thought it was about time for a major global war which would result in bloodshed and great loss of life.

Ares decided to tempt Agamemnon into war.

He presented Agamemnon with visions of the immense treasures that Troy possessed.

“If you wage war on the Trojans and sack this city, all these treasures will be yours,” Ares tempted, “make unreasonable demands on the Trojans in your peace offerings. Besides the return of Helen, demand these things…”

Ares gave him a list.

“The Trojans will naturally refuse,” Ares smiled, “and then you can wage war on them. And take all their treasures for yourself.”

“And will you support me in this war?” Agamemnon asked.

“Of course,” Ares promised.

Later of course, Ares would change his mind after Aphrodite the goddess of love gave him an out of this world blow job.

He switched his support to the Trojans as a result of Aphrodite’s oral persuasion.

But in the meantime, Agamemnon was hooked on Ares’ offer.

All those hidden treasures of the Trojans went through his mind.

His mind made up, he decided to go on a deer 🦌 hunt and then make his final decision.

. . .

Russian President Vladimir Putin was reading a report on the situation in Syria.

He had been informed that the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was siding with the Turks in northern Syria while the medieval vampire Dracula was siding with the Kurds (against the Transylvanian-Wallachian nobleman’s old enemy the Turks).

Putin rubbed his head.

He had certainly come a long way from being a spy for a state based on atheistic dialectical materialism.

He had been getting loads of supernatural visitors the past few years as well as reading numerous reports of supernatural occurrences in various war zones.

“You should attack Israel 🇮🇱,” said Ares the Greek god of war who was standing in Putin’s office.

“Speak of the devil,” thought Putin who returned back to the present from his musings on the supernatural.

At one time he would have been surprised by the sudden appearance of the Greek god of war in his office but not anymore.

Ares meanwhile had just been given an out of this world blow job by Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal.

He had been promised a lot more if he could get Putin to attack Israel.

So Ares had promptly left Allatallahbel’s boudoir and hurried to Putin’s office.

“Why should I invade Israel?” Putin bit into his kosher smoked meat on rye sandwich.

“To take control of Israel’s hidden treasures,” Ares smiled temptingly.

“What hidden treasures?” Putin asked.

Ares then filled Putin’s mind with visions of Israel’s hidden treasures.

“I didn’t know Israel had such treasures,” Putin finished his kosher smoked meat on rye sandwich.

“It does,” said Ares whose smart phone suddenly went off.

He received a text message from his lover Aphrodite who was busy servicing an 84-year-old man with an inexhaustible mojo who lived in a small fishing 🎣 village in Italy.

“What an unfaithful floozy,” Ares said aloud before heading back to Allatallahbel’s boudoir.

Meanwhile Putin was thinking 🤔 about Ares’ visions of Israel’s hidden treasures.

He would go on a deer 🦌 hunt and then make up his mind.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 27th
2018.

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Preparations For War

February 21, 2018 at 9:58 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Preparations For War

The Spanish Civil War of 1936-39 had preceded the Nazi invasion of Poland and the outbreak of the Second World War.

In some ways, it served as a prelude to it.

The Spanish Republican side was supported by the Soviet Union, the Communist International and Mexico’s far left revolutionary government of the day.

The Spanish Nationalists were supported by Fascist Italy and Nazi Germany.

So Spain served as a backdrop for great foreign powers to conduct their proxy wars.

Far longer and bloodier than the Spanish Civil War has been the Syrian Civil War (from 2011 until the present) in which great foreign powers have likewise fought their proxy wars.

Saudi Arabia has backed Sunni Muslim militias against the Damascus led government of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad (which is supported by the government of Shiite Iran- Saudi Arabia’s arch enemy).

The U.S. supported the Kurds against the Islamist terrorist based Islamic State.

The victorious Kurds in parts of Syria now find themselves under attack by Turkish forces since the Kurds are seen as a threat to Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan’s desire to revive the Ottoman Empire with himself as Sultan.

Russia meanwhile is backing its ally Bashar al-Assad against any and all comers who would remove Assad from power.

The Lebanese Hezbollah movement (a Shiite ally of Iran) supports Assad.

Israel is now becoming involved in the Syrian conflict because it sees its arch enemy Iran as using a victorious Assad led Syria as a launching pad to attack Israel.

So the Syrian people now find themselves being used as quite literally sacrificial pawns in proxy wars fought between outside great powers.

It was upon this landscape of blood that ancient vampiress and medieval vampire now surveyed with their eyes.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 21st
2018.

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Renfield’s Facebook Video

December 11, 2017 at 8:46 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield’s Facebook Video

“What’s with the large supply of cut and peeled onions on the kitchen table?” Amadeus asked Renfield as he entered the kitchen

“I used them to make my eyes water and look like I’m crying 😭,” Renfield explained.

“Why would you want to do that?” Amadeus grabbed some onions and a slice of cheese 🧀 and put them on his toast.

“I was just reading in the paper about this boy in Tennessee named Keaton Jones who was being bullied,” said Renfield, “his mother made a video of him talking about his experiences and put it on Facebook last Friday. It has since gone viral and racked up 22 million views.”

“What does this have to do with peeling onions and making your eyes water?” Amadeus asked.

“Well a whole bunch of celebrities have offered to be friends with him and have invited him to various events,” Renfield pointed out, “including one very hot looking babe the young actress and singer Hailee Steinfeld who asked him to be her date for the premiere of the movie Pitch Perfect 3.”

“I see,” Amadeus was indeed starting to see where this was going.

“So I just made a video about me being bullied,” Renfield went on, “that I’ve posted to Facebook. Peeling the onions made it look like I’ve been crying. I also posted a link to that video on Miss Steinfeld’s Twitter feed in hopes that she’ll invite me on a date with her.”

“When have you ever been bullied?” Amadeus asked.

“I haven’t,” Renfield grinned, “but Miss Steinfeld doesn’t know that. Besides I put on a very realistic performance. The peeled onions made it look like I’ve been crying heavily and then squeezing my balls with a pair of pliers underneath the kitchen table gave me the right intense look of agony.”

“Where and by whom have you been bullied in this bullying incident that never happened?” Amadeus queried.

“I claimed I was being bullied by my fellow MPs in the British House of Commons parliamentary cafeteria for eating tuna fish sandwiches,” Renfield feigned fake tears again, “they laughed at me and called me names and said that since I didn’t have a red nose, I wouldn’t be guiding Santa Claus’ sleigh on Christmas Eve. They told me that a real Brit would eat one of Britain’s national dishes like a roast beef sandwich for lunch or at least Britain’s other national dish which is curried lentils wrapped in naan bread. Only a total loser would eat tuna fish sandwiches every day they said to me.”

Renfield was getting so caught up in his own rhetoric about this bullying incident that never happened, he was giving quite the salt water performance.

Amadeus buried his head in his hands. This would probably be yet another Renfieldian dating ploy that would backfire.

. . .

Meanwhile in Ankara Turkey, that country’s bully Recep Tayyip Erdogan was meeting with Russian President President Vladimir Putin to discuss their new moves for the Middle East in the wake of Donald Trump’s recognition of Jerusalem as the capital of Israel 🇮🇱.

Hours earlier Putin had met with Syrian President Bashar al-Assad at the Russian Hmeimim Air Base near the Syrian port city of Lattakia.

Meanwhile in the port city of Lattakia itself, a beautiful young woman giantess (who days before had been a statue of the Palmyrene Empire Queen Zenobia in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea waters off the coast of Lattakia) was walking through the town.

She laughed heartedly when she saw someone holding an android tablet where a Facebook video of some British Member of Parliament who said he was being bullied for eating tuna fish sandwiches was being played.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 11th
2017.

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Krampusnacht 2017

December 5, 2017 at 8:55 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Krampusnacht 2017

The half-goat half-demon creature of the Christmas season Krampus (who might be thought of as the Anti-Saint Nicholas) was busy gathering up Canadian advertisers and putting them in coal sacks to carry them off to Hell as the commercials and TV ads shown on Canadian television this year of 2017 were the most depraved in history.

The advertisers vigorously objected to their fate but Krampus ignored their pleas and put them in his sack anyways.

Canada’s pot smoking and pot legalizing Prime Minister Justin Trudeau only escaped being put in a bag and being carried off to Hell by putting a lamp shade over his head and holding a sign in front of him that said I Don’t Pose For Selfies.

. . .

Russian President Vladimir Putin was pissed at the fact that the International Olympic Committee had banned his country from participating at next year’s Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang South Korea.

“You should really do something about it,” said the demon Moloch who was appearing to Putin in the apparitional form of the Archangel Michael.

“What should I do?” Putin ripped up a subpoena from U.S. Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

“Who don’t you invade Israel?” Moloch as Michael suggested.

“Why should I invade Israel?” Putin said while glancing at a Happy Hanukkah greeting card someone had sent him.

“Why not?” Moloch as Michael shrugged.

“I need a better reason than that,” Putin said as he ate a cracker with Black Sea caviar on it.

“Your influence in the Middle East will soar out of this world,” Moloch smiled, “particularly in lieu of what looks like Donald Trump’s impending announcement that he’s going to recognize Jerusalem as Israel’s eternal undivided capital.”

“You might have a point there,” Putin rubbed his chin in contemplative 🤔 fashion.

. . .

Renfield R. Renfield MP was having a caucus meeting with his fellow Transhumanist MP Morgana Fay Lee (the Welsh Vampiress Morgana) the MP for Newbridge in Wales.

They were discussing the possibility of war in the Middle East in lieu of Trump’s announcement on the status of Jerusalem.

“I suppose one good thing that might come out of it is Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan might sever relations with the U.S. if Trump goes ahead,” Renfield stated, “which means that the would be Ottoman Sultan would be kicked out of NATO.”

A scream could be heard coming from the next room as a British Conservative MP accused of sexual harassment by dozens of women was thrown into Krampus’ bag.

Renfield looked at the calendar and commented, “That’s right. It is Krampusnacht tonight isn’t it?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday December 5th
2017.

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Kwan Yin Meets Hyung Grace Kwan

October 6, 2017 at 7:20 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Kwan Yin Meets Hyung Grace Kwan

Kwan Yin the Buddhist Mother Goddess of Mercy walked the streets of Seoul South Korea 🇰🇷.

During her mortal life, Kwan had been a princess given to acts of charity and compassion and helping the poor, sick and needy.

She had had a few children during her mortal life.

And those children had children of their own.

And now today Kwan Yin was meeting one of her descendants the noted South Korean vampire huntress Hyung Grace Kwan.

“Hyung,” Kwan said as she hugged and greeted her, “I have a warning for you, your people and the world.”

“Does it involve Kim Jong-un?” Hyung asked.

“No,” Kwan shook her head, “The dark forces act like stage magicians in that they always do something to distract the audience’s attention while they get to the main part of their trick. Kim Jong-un is just a distraction. Putin is the main act.”

“Putin?” Hyung’s jaw dropped.

“Yes, Putin is being advised by the demon Moloch,” Kwan said, “only Moloch is appearing to him in the form of the Archangel Michael. So Putin thinks he’s being advised by Saint Michael the Archangel when he isn’t. And that is a very dangerous situation for the world.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 6th
2017.

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An Unbearable Visitor To Moscow

September 1, 2017 at 5:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

An Unbearable Visitor To Moscow

Russian President Vladimir Putin was alerted to a dangerous situation in the streets of Moscow by his Chief of Staff Dmitri Constanovich.

“What’s up, Dmitri?” Putin asked, “Is George Soros flying his bandana wearing Antifa thugs and hooligans over here to riot, assault people and damage public and private property in what The New York Times, The Washington Post and former U.S. President Barack Obama would refer to as a ‘peaceful assembly’?”.

“No, Mr. President,” Dmitri shook his head, “remember your own orders issued last month about how any plane ✈️ even suspected of carrying Soros financed Antifa hooligans on board is to be immediately shot down without question and the remains of the dead are to be fed to Siberian rats as the ultimate form of rat poison?”.

“Oh yes, I do remember that,” Putin nodded, “so what’s up?”.

“A Eurasian brown bear 🐻 has been seen wandering the streets of Moscow,” Dmitri answered.

“Alone and by itself?” Putin asked.

“Yes,” Dmitri nodded.

“Did it escape from the zoo or a circus?” Putin inquired.

“We have no idea, your Excellency,”
Dmitri answered.

“But surely this is a matter for the Wildlife Services,” Putin took off his shirt and noticed how his chest was so much sexier than that of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, “surely the glorious head of the glorious Russian Motherland namely myself shouldn’t be bothered with such trivialities.”

“But this appears to be no ordinary bear, your Excellency,” Dmitri read from the Moscow police report, “it was first found to be panhandling on the streets of Moscow without a licence though for some reason no policeman ticketed it. Then it entered several Moscow bars and ordered dozens of glasses of vodka and downed them and paid for them. Then it entered one of Moscow’s leading massage parlours and got a massage from the topless masseuses who work there.”

“Would that be the Stalin-A-Go-Go?” Putin asked as he rubbed his chest with suntan lotion.

“Yes, your Excellency,” Dmitri nodded.

“So the bear likes to drink and is horny for beautiful women,” Putin shrugged, “at least we know then that it’s a Russian Eurasian brown bear and not a North American brown bear. Those will probably be marching in Gay Pride Parades this weekend.”

“Yes, but according to one of Moscow’s leading psychics Anastasia Leninska, this Eurasian brown bear is possessed by the ghost of Grigori Rasputin,” Dmitri looked grim.

“The Grigori Rasputin?” Putin stopped rubbing the raspberry coloured suntan lotion on his chest.

“Yes,” Dmitri slumped into a chair.

“This could pose problems,” Putin looked out his office window at the storm ⛈ clouds hovering over Moscow.

Meanwhile in Gorky Park, that old 1970s Boney M song Rasputin was playing on all the radios in the park,

“Ra ra Rasputin
Russia’s greatest love machine…”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 1st
2017.

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There’s Grigori and Then There’s Grigori

August 20, 2017 at 7:37 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Mystery/horror, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

There’s Grigori and Then There’s Grigori

The Grigori (a Slav transliteration from the Greek egregoroi meaning “Watchers”, “Those who are awake”, “Those who never sleep”, “guards”, “sentinels”) is a term used in connection with Biblical angels.

They were assigned to watch over the Earth but they fell in love with and mated with mortal women giving rise to a race of hybrids known as the Nephilim who are described as giants.

Their exploits are briefly alluded to in Genesis 6:4 and elaborated upon in the Books of Enoch and Jubilees.

. . .

The Tunguska event was a large explosion 💥 that occurred near the Stony Tunguska River in eastern Siberia on the morning of June 30th 1908.

The explosion flattened over 2000 square kilometres of forest 🌳 yet caused no known human casualties.

The explosion is generally attributed to the air burst of a meteor.

It is classified as an impact event (in fact the largest impact event in recorded history) even though no impact crater has ever been found.

The object is believed to have disintegrated at an altitude of 5 to 10 kilometres above the Earth’s surface rather than actually hitting the surface of the Earth 🌏.

And that portion of the Earth’s surface that experienced the wrath of this mysterious object’s impact was the sparsely populated Eastern Siberian Taiga.

Studies have yielded different estimates of the meteor’s size on the order of 60 to 190 metres (200 to 620 feet) depending on whether the body was a comet or denser asteroid.

Since the 1908 event, there have been an estimated 1000 scholarly papers (mostly in Russian) published on the Tunguska explosion.

Of those 1000 odd papers written on the Tunguska explosion, not one took note of the ripple in time that happened on that day.

Of course, there was no reason why any of them should.

For the effects of the impact were thought to be strictly in the air and on the ground.

There was no reason to expect a rupture (no matter how minuscule) in the space/time continuum.

. . .

Part of that mysterious object that exploded went 11 years back in time to the year 1897 and traveled to the Saint Nicholas Monastery at Verkhoturye (the town that at the foot of relatively low middle Ural Mountains is called the Gateway to Siberia from the west).

Contemporary scientists have often speculated whether primitive alien life forms could be brought to earth on meteorites from space.

The answer is possibly.

What about DNA?

Could DNA travel on a meteorite?

And what about the Grigori? The Watchers of old? Angels said to have mated with human women back at the dawn of recorded history? These angels (which were supposed to be originally pure spirit) must have found some way of composing a material body for themselves in order to be able to mate with human women.

Was there such a thing as Grigori DNA then?

Such would be the stuff for highly speculative and extremely creative science papers.

But it so happened that Grigori DNA on an object from space that fell to Earth went through a ripple in time back 11 years to the Saint Nicholas Monastery at Verkhoturye where it struck a visiting peasant pilgrim from the Siberian village of Pokrovskoye- Grigori Rasputin.

As a result of angelic Grigori making contact with human Grigori- the whole world would change forever.

Rasputin would lead to Lenin and the USSR. Which would lead to Stalin and the USSR. Fear of Stalin and the USSR would lead to the middle classes of Germany ensuring the parliamentary victory of a man named Adolf Hitler in the Reichstag.

And so on.

And so on.

All the way forward to a man named Kim Jong-un facing a standoff with a man named Donald Trump.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday August 20th
2017.

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