With Svetlana Kireeva In Moscow
Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing flew from Britain to Moscow in a World War I Sopwith Camel to meet the Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva.
The Sopwith Camel was almost shot down by Dr. Anthony Fauci’s drones because they thought a beagle might be flying it.
The drones were shot down by Van Helsing instead.
Inside a highrise luxury apartment in Moscow Russia, Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the FSB was waiting for Van Helsing.
Van Helsing was serving as an envoy for British MP Renfield R. Renfeld and Svetlana Kireeva was serving as an envoy for Russian President Vladimir Putin.
Renfield and Putin were involved in negotiations preparing for a Russian invasion of the European Union to liberate the bloc from the totalitarian ideology of Vaccinazism.
On the other side of the diplomatic table, Pope Francis, acting on advice from Word of Faith Prosperity Gospel teacher Kenneth Copeland, was trying to encourage Russia to invade Israel.
According to Copeland’s reading of Ezekiel Chapters 38 and 39, Russia would lead a confederacy of nations to attack Israel in the latter days.
According to Copeland, Russia would be destroyed by YHWH or Jehovah the Lord God of Israel for attacking Israel.
Following his personal homosexual Communist Jesuit reasoning, Francis figured that with Russia destroyed, no future Pope could bring about that era of peace known as the Triumph of the Immaculate Heart of Mary since Russia would no longer exist as a nation to be consecrated to the Immaculate Heart of Mary to bring about that triumph of the Immaculate Heart.
So which route would Putin take?
Renfield’s idea that Russia should invade the European Union to liberate the bloc from Vaccinazism?
Or Francis’ idea that Russia should invade Israel so it can end up being destroyed according to Kenneth Copeland’s Biblical exegesis of Ezekiel Chapters 38 and 39 and thus making a liar out of Our Lady of Fatima the Blessed Virgin Mary?
Dracul and Svetlana would be negotiating the Renfieldian Plan.
In the night sky behind Svetlana, two meteorites lit up Moscow’s night sky.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday January 9th
2022.
How Boris Johnson and Renfield R. Renfield Spent Saint Christopher’s Day
How Boris Johnson and Renfield R. Renfield Spent Saint Christopher’s Day
July 25th is Saint Christopher’s Day (even though the post-Vatican II Catholic Church from 1969 onwards taught that in their opinion, Saint Christopher never existed, the Saint Christopher medal continues to be popular among travellers and surfers).
Boris Johnson spent Saint Christopher’s Day giving his first speech as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom in the British House of Commons.
Meanwhile across the Pond (otherwise known as the Atlantic Ocean), Donald Trump spent the day looking at a photo of himself speaking at a recent event and noticed for the first time that the seal of the President of the United States of America bore a double headed eagle clutching a bag of golf clubs in one of its claws.
“I could have sworn that it was a single headed eagle clutching arrows in one of its claws,” Trump scratched the dandruff out of his toupee.
Back across the Pond again, the Welsh vampiress Morgana sat on the government benches in the House of Commons as Deputy Home Secretary In Charge of Midnight Security.
She applied mascara to her eyelashes and red finger nail polish to her finger nails as Johnson gave an impassioned speech to the Commons on how he was going to deliver Brexit.
As Johnson spoke, British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield likewise sat on the government benches in the Commons as Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering.
While Johnson continued speaking, Renfield was busy text messaging his former boss the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.
Renfield was expressing his opinion to Set that Johnson probably wouldn’t be able to negotiate a Brexit deal with the European Union for 3 reasons:
1) European Union bureaucrats would probably continue to act like Soviet commissars on the question of the backstop on the Irish border between the British province of Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland
2) Irish Taoiseach (Prime Minister) Leo Varadkar would probably continue to act like Oscar Wilde on steroids on top of Lord Alfred Douglas on the Irish border backstop question
3) The notorious drunken leprechaun Yaldabaoth (viewed as the Demi-Urge who created the material physical universe by various Gnostic groups throughout the centuries) would probably continue to sleep across the border- half on the north side and half on the south
It was for these reasons, Renfield advised Set, that he should expect a no-deal Brexit.
A hard Brexit.
As Set sat in The Ten Bells Pub in central London and read Renfield’s text message, he put his construction hard hat on, got a hard on as he looked at a poster of the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec, ordered 10 T-Rex shooters (guaranteed to kill any mortal dead) and when he had finished drinking and paid his bill, went off to Harrods to stock up on candies and various other treats for this coming Halloween.
Meanwhile in Moscow, Russian President Vladimir Putin had summoned the Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the FSB to his office to discuss the most recent actions by Ukraine.
The Russian tanker Nika Spirit (formerly called the Neyma) had been detained by the Ukrainian security service (SBU) in the Black Sea port of Izmail, Ukraine.
10 crew members who were aboard the Nika Spirit were held briefly for a few hours and then released.
Speaking to reporters in Kiev, Svetlana Kireeva’s vampiress rival and arch enemy the Ukrainian vampiress Inna Huculak of the SBU said that the Nika Spirit in its previous maritime ship incarnation as the Neyma had been the ship responsible for blocking the Kerch Strait to the Sea of Azov on November 25th of last year allowing the Russian Navy to seize the Ukrainian Navy gunboats The Nikopol and The Berdyansk and a Ukrainian Navy tug allowing the Russian Navy to capture 30 Ukrainian sailors of whom 24 remain in Russian custody.
After the incident had happened last November, the Ukrainian vampiress Inna Huculak had approached Renfield R. Renfield for help.
Renfield had set sail on the Dr. Cadbury Rocher designed submarine The Amphitrite II with his own personal brigade of British Army Gurkhas.
They sailed straight through the Strait of Kerch to the Sea of Azov.
There they captured a Russian Navy submarine The Svyatoy Ivan and took 66 Russian Navy sailors hostage.
The sailors would be released in return for the release of the 24 Ukrainian sailors.
However Putin absolutely refused to negotiate with Renfield R. Renfield as Renfield had once stolen a bunch of antique Bavarian beer mugs from the Russian leader’s antique Bavarian beer mug collection back in August 2014 and Putin had never forgiven him for it.
The 66 Russian sailors had been held prisoner at a castle in the Scottish highlands under guard from Renfield’s personal brigade of British Army Gurkhas ever since.
How CNN News reported Renfield R. Renfield’s capture of the Russian Navy ship The Svyatoy Ivan at its web site on November 29th of last year:
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 25th
2019.
Renfield On Kerch, Crimea and The Sea of Azov: Let’s Get This Strait
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was currently consulting with the ghosts of Sir Winston Churchill and Orson Welles and the Ukrainian vampiress Inna Hukulak to lead a commando raid of British Army Gurkhas on the Russian Navy at the Strait of Kerch to rescue two Ukrainian Navy gunboats The Nikopol and The Berdyansk and a Ukrainian Navy tug and 30 Ukrainian sailors who were seized by the Russian Navy yesterday,
In Kiev, Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko declared martial law in Ukraine for 30 days in order to put the country on a full war footing.
Donald Trump as usual was busy dithering and tweeting about “immigrants on the U.S-Mexico border” in the midst of yet another major international crisis.
He was also trying to make up in his own mind who was the nicer guy- Russian President Vladimir Putin or Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman.
On November 25th, Russian Spetznatz commandos of the Russian Navy seized the Ukrainian gunboats and the tug wounding half a dozen Ukrainian Navy sailors in the process.
Russia had used a Russian ship under the recently completed Kerch Bridge to illegally block passage to Ukrainian ships seeking to enter the Strait to access the Sea of Azov.
The Ukrainian Navy vessels had gone to ask the ship to stop blocking the entrance when they were fired upon by Russian Navy ships and then deliberately rammed.
Renfield and the Gurkas would be sailing on the Dr. Cadbury Rocher designed submarine The Amphitrite II to the Kerch Strait to rescue the Ukrainian Navy ships and sailors.
The Amphitrite II was invisible to both radar and sonar.
Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s original submarine of this design The Amphitrite I and its crew disappeared on its maiden test.
Although a computer at the CERN Large Hadron Collidor had picked up the fact that The Amphitrite I had wound up at the U.S. Navy shipyard in Philadelphia on October 28th 1943 where it slammed into the U.S. Navy destroyer escort The USS Eldridge.
The meeting between the four in Renfield’s office came to an end when the ghost of Orson Welles received an emergency Hermes transmitted telegram from the ghost of Nikola Tesla in the underworld realm of Hades.
Meanwhile outside the Westminster Houses of Parliament, the Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the Russian FSB was waiting to assassinate Renfield.
It was while she waited for Renfield on the park bench that Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing spotted her.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday November 26th
2018.
The Great Eastern Orthodox Schism
The Great Eastern Orthodox Schism
Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane had prayed to God The Father that all His Apostles be one.
But the plans of men with their free will undid His prayer.
The Egyptian Coptic and Ethiopian Churches broke with Rome and Constantinople in the 5th Century AD.
The Great Schism of 1054 broke communion between Rome and Constantinople leading to the formation of the Catholic Church in the West and The Eastern Orthodox Church in the East.
Martin Luther’s Protestant revolt of 1517 led to the formation of the Protestant Church and the Protestants have been dividing up into more and more different denominations ever since.
The Church of England under Henry VIII broke Communion with the Pope of Rome in 1536.
And since that time the Anglican Communion has been a strange union of people who share the same Sacramental view of the Church as that held by the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Churches united with people in the same Communion who hold the non-sacramental view of the Church held by Calvin, Zwingli and some of the other major 16th Century Protestant Reformers.
There had never been a major schism in the Eastern Orthodox Church until today- Tuesday October 16th 2018 when the Russian Orthodox Church under the Patriarch of Moscow announced that it was no longer in Communion with the Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople.
What brought about the schism between Moscow and Constantinople was Patriarch Bartholomew of Constantinople’s decision of Thursday October 11th 2018 to recognize autocephaly for the Ukrainian Orthodox Church (the Ukrainian Orthodox Church would be under its own Patriarch in Kiev rather than be under the jurisdiction of the Patriarch of Moscow).
The move angered Patriarch Kirill of Moscow a staunch Russian nationalist ally of Russian President Vladimir Putin.
The whole political and military conflict between Kiev and Moscow over Crimea and Eastern Ukraine 🇺🇦 had now entered the religious-theological realm of Eastern Orthodoxy.
So now the 150 million members of the Russian Orthodox Church are now out of Communion with the 110 million members of the other Eastern Orthodox Churches whose nominal and titular head is the Patriarch of Constantinople.
Although other branches of the Eastern Orthodox Church in Eastern Europe may choose to forego Communion with Constantinople in order to remain in good standing with both the Russian Church and State.
The really big question at the moment is what will the Serbian Orthodox Church now do?
Serbia had always been strong allies with Moscow.
It was the strong and enduring alliance and friendship between Serbia and Russia that led to the First World War when the Austro-Hungarian Empire (backed by the Imperial Germany of the Kaiser Wilhelm II) declared war on Serbia for what Vienna saw as Belgrade’s involvement in the Sarajevo Bosnia-Herzegovina assassination of the Austrian ArchDuke Franz Ferdinand.
Russia in response declared war on Austro-Hungary leading to a bunch of European powers declaring war on one another the next couple of months.
It was U.S. President Bill Clinton’s decision to bomb Serbia in the spring of 1999 to grant Kosovo independence from Serbia that led Russian President Boris Yeltsin to adopt a less friendly attitude towards the West and to name the Russian ultra-nationalist former KGB agent and then FSB head Vladimir Putin to the position of Prime Minister of Russia in August 1999.
During the last days of December 1999 Yeltsin resigned as President and named Vladimir Putin his successor.
And Vladimir Putin has either been President or Prime Minister of Russia ever since.
And the Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva had now been given the go-ahead by her boss the Supreme Leader of The Russian Federation to go ahead and bump off Patriarch Bartholomew of Constantinople.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 16th
2018
From Russia With… ?
From Russia With… ?
Tatiana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi) had been sent from Russia With Love 💕 to James Bond 007 (Sean Connery) in 1963.
55 years later, Vladimir Putin would be delivering a message to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu using the Russian vampiress FSB Agent Svetlana Kireeva as courier.
“Well, Svetlana,” Putin addressed the short skirt and black silk fishnet pantyhose wearing vampiress while holding a Cossack warrior’s fur hat on his lap to cover up his erection, “the message you deliver to Netanyahu will be the most earthshaking any leader has received since the Austro-Hungarian Empire delivered an ultimatum to the Kingdom of Serbia back in the early summer of 1914.”
“This means war then?” Svetlana had an orgasm in her panties as she thought of all that delicious blood flowing on the battlefield.
“Not if Netanyahu accepts our terms,” Putin answered, “there won’t be war in the Middle East at any rate.”
“But there may be war at Kiev?” Svetlana asked.
“Yes if Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko insists on taking Church property away from the legitimate Ukrainian Orthodox Church (Moscow Patriarchate) and giving it to the Ukrainian Orthodox Church (Kiev Patriarchate) that was recently and illegally recognized as autocephalous by the schismatic Patriarch of Constantinople Bartholomew I who is undoubtedly a CIA agent in the pay of the Hillarybeast loving Democratic Party Deep State in the U.S. government, Kiev will be overrun with Russian Army paratroopers,” Putin plucked the strings on his violin 🎻.
“And what of Patriarch Bartholomew?” Svetlana asked.
“I intend to employ quite literal Byzantine intrigue in Bartholomew’s case,” Putin smiled like Anthony Perkins looking at a woman in the shower 🚿, “as you know it was the practice in Byzantine times to get rid of annoying Emperors and Patriarchs by poisoning their Communion wine at Mass which is probably why the Western Roman Church for centuries only allowed for Communion in one kind that being the bread (something regarded as outrageous to the 16th Century Protestant Reformers who had little understanding of Byzantine Imperial history). I shall revive this ancient Byzantine practice by arranging for Bartholomew’s Communion wine to be poisoned 🤢 when he says Mass sometime in the near future. This will give British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill something else to be angry about as they plot my own demise.”
“Won’t the U. S. respond angrily if we send Russian troops into Jerusalem and/or Kiev?” Svetlana asked as she orgasmed at the thought of eating a cream cheesed smothered bagel in Jerusalem.
“They will,” Putin admitted as he orgasmed under his Cossack hat as he watched Svetlana orgasm through her panties and pantyhose, “but U.S. foreign policy is now in disarray as a result of the only one who has a true understanding of global affairs in the entire Trump Administration U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley resigning. The Donald’s mind will be preoccupied these days as he tries to think up Tweets to come up with to explain the sudden departure of one of his sole competent officials from his Administration. When he finally does come up with an appropriate tweet in response, we in Moscow will already have taken control of western Ukraine 🇺🇦 including Kiev and Israel 🇮🇱 including Jerusalem.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 9th
2018.
Inna Huculak and Svetlana Kireeva In Stockholm
Inna Huculak and Svetlana Kireeva In Stockholm
The Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the FSB was walking the streets of Stockholm Sweden 🇸🇪.
The short skirted Russian vampiress was feeling quite pleased with herself.
She had been the mastermind behind a plot to kill a Russian 🇷🇺 traitor and his daughter in Salisbury, England 🏴.
Vengeance against those who would betray Vladimir Putin the Great Leader of the Russian Motherland.
As well as vengeance against Britain 🇬🇧 where she had been held as a prisoner for 2 years in an MI-6 interrogation chamber in London from 2014 to 2016 before she finally managed to escape.
Miss Kireeva was in Stockholm to spy on the meeting between North Korean 🇰🇵 Foreign Minister Ri Yong-ho and Swedish Prime Minister Stefan Lofven.
Her boss Vladimir Putin was worried about a possible summit meeting between Donald Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong-un.
As an FSB colleague put it, “I’m afraid Putin is becoming increasingly paranoid about everything.”
That FSB colleague now found himself out of a job but he did have the consolation of landing himself a one way ticket to Siberia.
Putin’s paranoia, in the Siberia bound ex-FSB agent’s words, began when Putin had visited a Moscow based spiritist medium to consult with the ghosts of Joseph Stalin and Vladimir Lenin.
Putin who claimed to now be a devout Christian and a convert to the Russian Orthodox Church had pulled a King Saul of Israel 🇮🇱 by consulting with familiar spirits and necromancers in direct violation of divine prohibition as revealed to Moses in the Book of Deuteronomy Chapter 18.
In addition to having a pleasant chat with the ghosts of Lenin and Stalin, an entity calling himself the Archangel Michael appeared to Putin.
This entity was really the demon Moloch in disguise.
And now Moloch as the Archangel Michael was encouraging Putin to strike against everyone and everything that stood in his way.
But all this was unknown to Svetlana Kireeva as she walked down the streets of Stockholm clicking the sidewalks with her spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes 👠.
Watching the short skirted beautiful brunette Russian vampiress was a very beautiful blonde woman wearing a short skirt.
This woman also was a vampiress.
But a Ukrainian vampiress.
Inna Huculak of the Ukrainian 🇺🇦 Intelligence Service.
And Svetlana Kireeva’s vampiric immortal foe and arch-enemy.
As Morgan Freeman might phrase it in his narrative voice if he was in Stockholm, “Let the Blood Hunger Games begin.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 15th
2018.
Renfield Does A Web Show and Vladimir Putin Gets Blown By A Cyborg
Renfield Does A Web Show and Vladimir Putin Gets Blown By A Cyborg
Amdeus Emanon was in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion.
Renfield R. Renfield was in the mansion’s broadcast and recording studio and satellite and computer monitoring room.
Amadeus was on his iPad.
He was watching a web cast show that Renfield was doing live from the broadcast room.
After Renfield discovered that actor Alec Baldwin was doing his own web cast show from the back of a New York City taxicab giving relationship advice to unsuspecting couples, Renfield decided to do his own web cast show in which he interviewed the spouses of well known celebrities.
Amadeus looked at the time.
It looked like Renfield’s very first web cast show with his very first guest was about to start.
. . .
“So,” Renfield beamed at the camera as his guest appeared on the satellite TV screen in the studio, “we’re proud to have as our first guest… Mrs. Bill Cosby. Nice to have you with us today, Camille.”
“Good to be here, Mr. Renfield,” Mrs. Cosby smiled.
“So,” Renfield asked his first question, “what’s it like being the wife of a serial rapist?”.
The interview came to an abrupt end far far sooner than Renfield had anticipated.
. . .
Russian President Vladimir Putin was in his office in the Kremlin getting a blow job from his bodyguard the red-headed female cyborg Sophia.
Putin had been missing his blow jobs for quite a long time recently.
After all being a despotic ruler was quite a strenuous and stressful job.
He used to get good blow jobs from his former bodyguard the Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the FSB.
But back in August of this year, Svetlana Kireeva had been abducted by persons unknown in Munich, Bavaria.
She was now being held in an MI-6 interrogation center in London.
Then a couple of weeks ago, Vladimir Putin received a call on his personal phone from Renfield R. Renfield.
Several years ago, Renfield had been given the Russian built cyborg Sophia as a gift from Vladimir Putin.
Sophia had originally been created back in September 2010 by the former East German Stasi scientist Dr. Nicht Werhoffen who now worked for the Russian FSB.
(For background on the creation of the red headed female cyborg Sophia please read:
http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/09/doing-molochs-work.html?m=1
http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/09/sex-and-cyborgs-and-politics.html?m=1
http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/09/renfield-finds-interesting-photo.html?m=1
http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/09/tea-with-renfield-and-dr-nicht.html?m=1
http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/09/amadeus-meets-sophia.html?m=1
)
In the phone conversation a couple of weeks ago, Renfield said he’d sell back the cyborg Sophia to Putin for the sum of $7 billion U. S.
Putin sighed.
Dr. Nicht Werhoffen was never able to create another cyborg as sexually pleasurable as the red-headed female cyborg Sophia.
And Putin also missed Svetlana Kireeva’s breathtakingly ecstatic Midnight Serenades played so lovingly on his instrument by her delicately sensual and exquisitely luscious red lips.
Putin was also tiring of using a saxophone as a substitute sex doll on his own personal instrument (which he had been doing since August).
So Putin seized the property of some poor snook Russian oligarch whom he suddenly accused of treason and then using the back-door money laundering operations of several major Western banks (to avoid the sanctions the West had imposed on Russia over the war in Ukraine), he
paid the $7 billion to Renfield.
In doing so, Putin was totally oblivious to the fact that it had been Renfield R. Renfield who had abducted Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva from an antique store in Munich, Bavaria in the first place.
And that it had also been Renfield who was the anonymous seller on eBay who had sold Putin some antique Bavarian beer mugs (that the Russian leader had been looking for) back in August.
Renfield had stolen the antique beer mugs from Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva in the first place (she had purchased them for her boss Putin) when he had abducted her from the antique store in Munich Bavaria.
Read all about it here:
http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2014/08/renfield-puts-ad-on-ebay.html?m=1
It was quite a relief to Putin when Sophia arrived in Moscow.
(Renfield had sent Putin the cyborg within 24 hours of receiving the $7 billion U.S. in his personal numbered Swiss bank account).
Putin had positively gorged himself on receiving Sophia’s blow jobs.
Plus Sophia had also saved Putin’s life from a CIA trained koala bear assassin who had tried to assassinate him at the G-20 Summit in Brisbane Australia on the evening of November 15th to 16th of this year (a preliminary investigation of the incident by the Russian FSB had determined that the assassin was a koala bear personally trained by American CIA agent Bob Belfor).
For more on the cyborg Sophia’s saving of Vladimir Putin’s life, read here:
https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2014/11/15/of-androids-and-koalas/
Putin decided to add to his pleasure by putting on a video as Sophia blew him.
The video he put on was an exclusive FSB filmed video (for Putin’s eyes only) of professional Russian Army soldiers serving as “volunteers” in eastern Ukraine using a BUK surface-to-air missile to shoot down Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 back on July 17th 2014.
As the video showed debris falling from the sky and bodies dropping to the ground, Putin came with the full force of Mount Vesuvius erupting in 79 AD.
“Oh, what sweet and joyful ecstasy!” Putin screamed.
Sophia started choking.
That was quite a mouthful for her to swallow.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
during the period
Friday November 21st
to
Wednesday November 26th
2014.
Renfield Puts Ad On eBay
Renfield Puts Ad On eBay
The Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the Russian FSB was being held in an MI-6 owned building in central London.
Renfield R. Renfield had abducted the Russian Vampiress at stake point in an antique shop in Munich, Bavaria over a week ago.
MI-6 were interrogating the Russian Vampiress for detailed personal information about her boss Russian President Vladimir Putin.
Meanwhile the high-ranking elements within the British establishment who had hired Renfield R. Renfield to bump off Vladimir Putin had decided to put their assassination plans on hold for awhile for some reason.
In the meantime, Renfield was sifting through the antique Bavarian beer mugs he had taken from Miss Kireeva that she had purchased from the antique store prior to his abducting her.
Renfield decided to put the items up for sale on eBay.
As Russian President Vladimir Putin checked out eBay looking for antique Bavarian beer mugs, he happened to notice Renfield’s ad.
“Why,” the Russian leader cried out, “those are the very type of antique Bavarian beer mugs I’ve been looking for.”
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 18th
2014.
Renfield Catches A Los Angeles Newscast On Satellite TV
Renfield Catches A Los Angeles Newscast On Satellite TV
Renfield R. Renfield was in the Bavarian city of Munich.
He was in Munich because he had heard that the Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the Russian FSB was in the city to buy some antique Bavarian beer mugs to add to her boss Russian President Vladimir Putin’s collection .
Apparently the Russian leader liked to drink his Russian tea with lemon in it out of authentic Bavarian beer mugs (in contrast to a predecessor Russian President Boris Yeltsin who drank Russian vodka out of Russian tea cups while addressing the nation on national television).
Entire samovars were emptied just to fill one of the Russian leader’s large Bavarian beer mugs with tea.
The rest of the Russian cabinet meeting in the Kremlin meeting room had to wait for the samovar to be filled and the water brought to a boil again to have their cups filled with tea.
Renfield was going to abduct the Russian Vampiress while she was out hunting for Bavarian beer mugs.
Renfield happened to have satellite TV in his Munich hotel room.
He looked at his watch and noted the 10 PM Evening News was probably about to start in the Los Angeles California time zone.
Renfield liked watching the 10 PM Local Evening News from Los Angeles because they always had such totally different lead news stories from anywhere else on the planet.
Renfield turned on the TV.
The TV showed a street at night.
A small boy was riding a tricycle on the sidewalk.
Suddenly both boy and tricycle were caught in a flood of car head beams and flashing lights and the sound of police sirens could also be heard.
Commanding authoritative male voice (speaking through bullhorn megaphone) : Step away from the tricycle and place your hands in the air.
The boy-about 3 or 4 years of age- blinks quizzically in the direction of the head beam lights and says “Huh?”.
Suddenly a hail of bullets and gunfire breaks out and the boy’s white shirt turns blood red and the boy falls backwards off his tricycle and falls to the ground dead.
Voice of TV News Announcer: The police shooting video posted online that has sparked outrage among users of social media…
… coming up on KTLA Channel 5 News at 10…
( The KTLA Channel 5 News at 10 logo is then show on the TV screen)
Renfield (scratching his chin) : Hm. That’s interesting.
He shuts the TV off and heads out of the room to begin his assignment.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 8th
2014.
Dracul Van Helsing 
The Ghost of Prince Paris of Troy In Kiev Ukraine
January 31, 2022 at 11:29 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (Circe, Justin Trudeau, Prince Paris of Troy, Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva, Svetlana Kireeva, Tesla Thoth Merlin, Ukraine, Underworld's Infernal Covid Communism, Vladimir Putin)
Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva was riding on a ferry in Alaska
She was wearing some vampiress sunblock invented by Dr. Cadbury Rocher of Set Enterprises to prevent her beautiful and delicate vampiric skin from burning to a crisp in the sunlight.
She was in Alaska to prevent a U.S. invasion of Russia from America by having U.S. forces cross the Bering Strait from Alaska to Siberia.
The idea had been conceived by CNN’s most moronic and imbecilic news commentator Don Lemon (the man that intelligent people referred to as The Sour Fruit).
Lemon (who didn’t do any research of his own but only believed everything that the government and the mainstream media told him) had recently discovered that a part of Alaska was separated from Russian Siberia by only 55 miles across a stretch of water known as the Bering Strait.
Lemon discovered the information by coming across a 2008 Sarah Palin For Vice-President campaign video.
Lemon wasn’t sure if the information in the video was correct so he asked every liberal he knew.
CNN’s Jim Acosta (who was busy playing with himself by viewing Jeffrey Epstein’s personal private photo collection) did not know the answer.
Anderson Cooper was out getting his hair done by his favourite hairstylist so he was unavailable to comment.
Lemon asked Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, Kamala Harris, Chuck Schumer, AOC, California Gov. Gavin Newsom, Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot and every other left-wing liberal bozo politician and journalist he could think of if Alaska was separated from Siberia by only 55 miles across the Bering Strait.
None knew the answer.
And since none never did any personal research on their own, they couldn’t discover the answer.
Finally Lemon managed to get in touch with the person who was the only intelligent liberal in America which happened to be YouTube commentator Kim Iversen (a woman who actually did research on her own).
Iversen informed the moronic raisin looking Lemon that yes Alaska was only separated by Siberia some 55 miles at the point of the Bering Strait.
Lemon then phoned Joe Biden and told him to have U.S. troops invade Siberia from Alaska should Vladimir Putin invade Kiev.
Biden thus sent a contingent of 69 transgendered and vaccinated Marines over to Alaska to invade Siberia.
Russian Intelligence which had hacked into the entire U.S. Intelligence (?) Security apparatus informed Putin of the plan.
So Putin sent Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva over to Alaska to stop them.
So now we know the answer to the question, How many Russian vampiresses does it take to wipe out and defeat a contingent of transgendered and vaccinated U.S. Marines?
Just one.
. . .
The pig faced Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau was hiding in a bunker outside Ottawa with his wife and family.
The ghosts of Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun as well as the ghosts of Joseph and Magda Goebbels were keeping them company.
At one point Justin retreated to a small closet where there was a small mirror and put on some Al Jolson minstrel show blackface.
Trudeau looked at some of Jeffrey Epstein’s personal private photo collection while applying and rubbing some black shoe polish to his tiny phallus.
The blackfaced Justin Trudeau then started eating a Salvation Army Food Hamper (that he had ordered one of his bodyguards to steal from a Salvation Army Food Bank) as he fired off a tweet saying that the truck drivers in Ottawa were stealing food from the homeless while flying racist flags.
Behind Justin Trudeau (as he fired off the tweet) stood the ghost of Confederate States of America President Jefferson Davis holding the American Civil War Confederate Republic flag (which was not the same as General Robert E. Lee’s Battle Flag of Northern Virginia despite what moronic liberals and even a few contemporary Republicans might think) and the ghost of Heinrich Himmler who held up the held up the red, black and white Swastika flag of Nazi Germany.
. . .
The pig faced Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau was now in Ottawa taking selected questions from the members of Canada’s brainless mainstream media (who interestingly enough all had brown noses at the press conference).
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was covering the press conference in his podcast.
Blathered Trudeau, “We’re the ones following the science…”
Interjected Renfield, “Justin Trudeau follows the science of Dr. Victor Frankenstein, the science of Dr. Johann Georg Faust and the science of Dr. Ilya Ivanov.”
Trudeau continued to blather, “We’re the ones following the facts…”
Renfield continued to interject, “The “facts” as made up by Joseph Goebbels’ Ministry of Propaganda and the Orwellian 1984 Ministry of Truth.”
“Anybody who disagrees with me is a conspiracy theorist,” Trudeau couldn’t stop blathering.
Renfield pointed out, “In the first century AD, Judea’s Governor Pontius Pilate posed the question, “What is truth?”. In the 21st Century AD we now know the answer- the truth is anything that Justin Trudeau considers a conspiracy theory.”
. . .
One of Elon Musk’s top scientists Tesla Thoth Merlin had invented an AI robot that looked exactly human.
Unfortunately for Tesla Thoth Merlin, earlier this month the ghost of Prince Paris of Troy had been dispensationally released from the Underworld by Hades at the request of the Greek sorceress Circe.
The ghost of Prince Paris of Troy entered the body of the human looking AI robot and possessed it.
The AI Prince Paris of Troy then flew to Moscow Russia where he was wined and dined by Vladimir Putin.
Paris thanked Putin for his hospitality by running off with the Russian President’s favourite mistress to a luxurious house in Kiev Ukraine where they were currently making out together.
As the serpent Ouroboros swallowed his own tail and the Greco-Roman god Ares/Mars let loose the dogs of war, it appears that History has now come full circle.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 31st
2022.
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