Renfield On Kerch, Crimea and The Sea of Azov: Let’s Get This Strait

November 26, 2018 at 11:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was currently consulting with the ghosts of Sir Winston Churchill and Orson Welles and the Ukrainian vampiress Inna Hukulak to lead a commando raid of British Army Gurkhas on the Russian Navy at the Strait of Kerch to rescue two Ukrainian Navy gunboats The Nikopol and The Berdyansk and a Ukrainian Navy tug and 30 Ukrainian sailors who were seized by the Russian Navy yesterday,

In Kiev, Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko declared martial law in Ukraine for 30 days in order to put the country on a full war footing.

Donald Trump as usual was busy dithering and tweeting about “immigrants on the U.S-Mexico border” in the midst of yet another major international crisis.

He was also trying to make up in his own mind who was the nicer guy- Russian President Vladimir Putin or Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman.

On November 25th, Russian Spetznatz commandos of the Russian Navy seized the Ukrainian gunboats and the tug wounding half a dozen Ukrainian Navy sailors in the process.

Russia had used a Russian ship under the recently completed Kerch Bridge to illegally block passage to Ukrainian ships seeking to enter the Strait to access the Sea of Azov.

The Ukrainian Navy vessels had gone to ask the ship to stop blocking the entrance when they were fired upon by Russian Navy ships and then deliberately rammed.

Renfield and the Gurkas would be sailing on the Dr. Cadbury Rocher designed submarine The Amphitrite II to the Kerch Strait to rescue the Ukrainian Navy ships and sailors.

The Amphitrite II was invisible to both radar and sonar.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s original submarine of this design The Amphitrite I and its crew disappeared on its maiden test.

Although a computer at the CERN Large Hadron Collidor had picked up the fact that The Amphitrite I had wound up at the U.S. Navy shipyard in Philadelphia on October 28th 1943 where it slammed into the U.S. Navy destroyer escort The USS Eldridge.

The meeting between the four in Renfield’s office came to an end when the ghost of Orson Welles received an emergency Hermes transmitted telegram from the ghost of Nikola Tesla in the underworld realm of Hades.

Meanwhile outside the Westminster Houses of Parliament, the Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the Russian FSB was waiting to assassinate Renfield.

It was while she waited for Renfield on the park bench that Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing spotted her.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday November 26th
2018.

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The Great Eastern Orthodox Schism

October 16, 2018 at 10:27 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

The Great Eastern Orthodox Schism

Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane had prayed to God The Father that all His Apostles be one.

But the plans of men with their free will undid His prayer.

The Egyptian Coptic and Ethiopian Churches broke with Rome and Constantinople in the 5th Century AD.

The Great Schism of 1054 broke communion between Rome and Constantinople leading to the formation of the Catholic Church in the West and The Eastern Orthodox Church in the East.

Martin Luther’s Protestant revolt of 1517 led to the formation of the Protestant Church and the Protestants have been dividing up into more and more different denominations ever since.

The Church of England under Henry VIII broke Communion with the Pope of Rome in 1536.

And since that time the Anglican Communion has been a strange union of people who share the same Sacramental view of the Church as that held by the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Churches united with people in the same Communion who hold the non-sacramental view of the Church held by Calvin, Zwingli and some of the other major 16th Century Protestant Reformers.

There had never been a major schism in the Eastern Orthodox Church until today- Tuesday October 16th 2018 when the Russian Orthodox Church under the Patriarch of Moscow announced that it was no longer in Communion with the Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople.

What brought about the schism between Moscow and Constantinople was Patriarch Bartholomew of Constantinople’s decision of Thursday October 11th 2018 to recognize autocephaly for the Ukrainian Orthodox Church (the Ukrainian Orthodox Church would be under its own Patriarch in Kiev rather than be under the jurisdiction of the Patriarch of Moscow).

The move angered Patriarch Kirill of Moscow a staunch Russian nationalist ally of Russian President Vladimir Putin.

The whole political and military conflict between Kiev and Moscow over Crimea and Eastern Ukraine 🇺🇦 had now entered the religious-theological realm of Eastern Orthodoxy.

So now the 150 million members of the Russian Orthodox Church are now out of Communion with the 110 million members of the other Eastern Orthodox Churches whose nominal and titular head is the Patriarch of Constantinople.

Although other branches of the Eastern Orthodox Church in Eastern Europe may choose to forego Communion with Constantinople in order to remain in good standing with both the Russian Church and State.

The really big question at the moment is what will the Serbian Orthodox Church now do?

Serbia had always been strong allies with Moscow.

It was the strong and enduring alliance and friendship between Serbia and Russia that led to the First World War when the Austro-Hungarian Empire (backed by the Imperial Germany of the Kaiser Wilhelm II) declared war on Serbia for what Vienna saw as Belgrade’s involvement in the Sarajevo Bosnia-Herzegovina assassination of the Austrian ArchDuke Franz Ferdinand.

Russia in response declared war on Austro-Hungary leading to a bunch of European powers declaring war on one another the next couple of months.

It was U.S. President Bill Clinton’s decision to bomb Serbia in the spring of 1999 to grant Kosovo independence from Serbia that led Russian President Boris Yeltsin to adopt a less friendly attitude towards the West and to name the Russian ultra-nationalist former KGB agent and then FSB head Vladimir Putin to the position of Prime Minister of Russia in August 1999.

During the last days of December 1999 Yeltsin resigned as President and named Vladimir Putin his successor.

And Vladimir Putin has either been President or Prime Minister of Russia ever since.

And the Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva had now been given the go-ahead by her boss the Supreme Leader of The Russian Federation to go ahead and bump off Patriarch Bartholomew of Constantinople.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 16th
2018

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From Russia With… ?

October 9, 2018 at 10:59 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

From Russia With… ?

Tatiana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi) had been sent from Russia With Love 💕 to James Bond 007 (Sean Connery) in 1963.

55 years later, Vladimir Putin would be delivering a message to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu using the Russian vampiress FSB Agent Svetlana Kireeva as courier.

“Well, Svetlana,” Putin addressed the short skirt and black silk fishnet pantyhose wearing vampiress while holding a Cossack warrior’s fur hat on his lap to cover up his erection, “the message you deliver to Netanyahu will be the most earthshaking any leader has received since the Austro-Hungarian Empire delivered an ultimatum to the Kingdom of Serbia back in the early summer of 1914.”

“This means war then?” Svetlana had an orgasm in her panties as she thought of all that delicious blood flowing on the battlefield.

“Not if Netanyahu accepts our terms,” Putin answered, “there won’t be war in the Middle East at any rate.”

“But there may be war at Kiev?” Svetlana asked.

“Yes if Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko insists on taking Church property away from the legitimate Ukrainian Orthodox Church (Moscow Patriarchate) and giving it to the Ukrainian Orthodox Church (Kiev Patriarchate) that was recently and illegally recognized as autocephalous by the schismatic Patriarch of Constantinople Bartholomew I who is undoubtedly a CIA agent in the pay of the Hillarybeast loving Democratic Party Deep State in the U.S. government, Kiev will be overrun with Russian Army paratroopers,” Putin plucked the strings on his violin 🎻.

“And what of Patriarch Bartholomew?” Svetlana asked.

“I intend to employ quite literal Byzantine intrigue in Bartholomew’s case,” Putin smiled like Anthony Perkins looking at a woman in the shower 🚿, “as you know it was the practice in Byzantine times to get rid of annoying Emperors and Patriarchs by poisoning their Communion wine at Mass which is probably why the Western Roman Church for centuries only allowed for Communion in one kind that being the bread (something regarded as outrageous to the 16th Century Protestant Reformers who had little understanding of Byzantine Imperial history). I shall revive this ancient Byzantine practice by arranging for Bartholomew’s Communion wine to be poisoned 🤢 when he says Mass sometime in the near future. This will give British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill something else to be angry about as they plot my own demise.”

“Won’t the U. S. respond angrily if we send Russian troops into Jerusalem and/or Kiev?” Svetlana asked as she orgasmed at the thought of eating a cream cheesed smothered bagel in Jerusalem.

“They will,” Putin admitted as he orgasmed under his Cossack hat as he watched Svetlana orgasm through her panties and pantyhose, “but U.S. foreign policy is now in disarray as a result of the only one who has a true understanding of global affairs in the entire Trump Administration U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley resigning. The Donald’s mind will be preoccupied these days as he tries to think up Tweets to come up with to explain the sudden departure of one of his sole competent officials from his Administration. When he finally does come up with an appropriate tweet in response, we in Moscow will already have taken control of western Ukraine 🇺🇦 including Kiev and Israel 🇮🇱 including Jerusalem.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 9th
2018.

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Inna Huculak and Svetlana Kireeva In Stockholm

March 15, 2018 at 11:00 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Inna Huculak and Svetlana Kireeva In Stockholm

The Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the FSB was walking the streets of Stockholm Sweden 🇸🇪.

The short skirted Russian vampiress was feeling quite pleased with herself.

She had been the mastermind behind a plot to kill a Russian 🇷🇺 traitor and his daughter in Salisbury, England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿.

Vengeance against those who would betray Vladimir Putin the Great Leader of the Russian Motherland.

As well as vengeance against Britain 🇬🇧 where she had been held as a prisoner for 2 years in an MI-6 interrogation chamber in London from 2014 to 2016 before she finally managed to escape.

Miss Kireeva was in Stockholm to spy on the meeting between North Korean 🇰🇵 Foreign Minister Ri Yong-ho and Swedish Prime Minister Stefan Lofven.

Her boss Vladimir Putin was worried about a possible summit meeting between Donald Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong-un.

As an FSB colleague put it, “I’m afraid Putin is becoming increasingly paranoid about everything.”

That FSB colleague now found himself out of a job but he did have the consolation of landing himself a one way ticket to Siberia.

Putin’s paranoia, in the Siberia bound ex-FSB agent’s words, began when Putin had visited a Moscow based spiritist medium to consult with the ghosts of Joseph Stalin and Vladimir Lenin.

Putin who claimed to now be a devout Christian and a convert to the Russian Orthodox Church had pulled a King Saul of Israel 🇮🇱 by consulting with familiar spirits and necromancers in direct violation of divine prohibition as revealed to Moses in the Book of Deuteronomy Chapter 18.

In addition to having a pleasant chat with the ghosts of Lenin and Stalin, an entity calling himself the Archangel Michael appeared to Putin.

This entity was really the demon Moloch in disguise.

And now Moloch as the Archangel Michael was encouraging Putin to strike against everyone and everything that stood in his way.

But all this was unknown to Svetlana Kireeva as she walked down the streets of Stockholm clicking the sidewalks with her spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes 👠.

Watching the short skirted beautiful brunette Russian vampiress was a very beautiful blonde woman wearing a short skirt.

This woman also was a vampiress.

But a Ukrainian vampiress.

Inna Huculak of the Ukrainian 🇺🇦 Intelligence Service.

And Svetlana Kireeva’s vampiric immortal foe and arch-enemy.

As Morgan Freeman might phrase it in his narrative voice if he was in Stockholm, “Let the Blood Hunger Games begin.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 15th
2018.

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Renfield Does A Web Show and Vladimir Putin Gets Blown By A Cyborg

November 27, 2014 at 8:21 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Does A Web Show and Vladimir Putin Gets Blown By A Cyborg

Amdeus Emanon was in the living room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion.

Renfield R. Renfield was in the mansion’s broadcast and recording studio and satellite and computer monitoring room.

Amadeus was on his iPad.

He was watching a web cast show that Renfield was doing live from the broadcast room.

After Renfield discovered that actor Alec Baldwin was doing his own web cast show from the back of a New York City taxicab giving relationship advice to unsuspecting couples, Renfield decided to do his own web cast show in which he interviewed the spouses of well known celebrities.

Amadeus looked at the time.

It looked like Renfield’s very first web cast show with his very first guest was about to start.

. . .

“So,” Renfield beamed at the camera as his guest appeared on the satellite TV screen in the studio, “we’re proud to have as our first guest… Mrs. Bill Cosby. Nice to have you with us today, Camille.”

“Good to be here, Mr. Renfield,” Mrs. Cosby smiled.

“So,” Renfield asked his first question, “what’s it like being the wife of a serial rapist?”.

The interview came to an abrupt end far far sooner than Renfield had anticipated.

. . .

Russian President Vladimir Putin was in his office in the Kremlin getting a blow job from his bodyguard the red-headed female cyborg Sophia.

Putin had been missing his blow jobs for quite a long time recently.

After all being a despotic ruler was quite a strenuous and stressful job.

He used to get good blow jobs from his former bodyguard the Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the FSB.

But back in August of this year, Svetlana Kireeva had been abducted by persons unknown in Munich, Bavaria.

She was now being held in an MI-6 interrogation center in London.

Then a couple of weeks ago, Vladimir Putin received a call on his personal phone from Renfield R. Renfield.

Several years ago, Renfield had been given the Russian built cyborg Sophia as a gift from Vladimir Putin.

Sophia had originally been created back in September 2010 by the former East German Stasi scientist Dr. Nicht Werhoffen who now worked for the Russian FSB.

(For background on the creation of the red headed female cyborg Sophia please read:

http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/09/doing-molochs-work.html?m=1

http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/09/sex-and-cyborgs-and-politics.html?m=1

http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/09/renfield-finds-interesting-photo.html?m=1

http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/09/tea-with-renfield-and-dr-nicht.html?m=1

http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2010/09/amadeus-meets-sophia.html?m=1

)

In the phone conversation a couple of weeks ago, Renfield said he’d sell back the cyborg Sophia to Putin for the sum of $7 billion U. S.

Putin sighed.

Dr. Nicht Werhoffen was never able to create another cyborg as sexually pleasurable as the red-headed female cyborg Sophia.

And Putin also missed Svetlana Kireeva’s breathtakingly ecstatic Midnight Serenades played so lovingly on his instrument by her delicately sensual and exquisitely luscious red lips.

Putin was also tiring of using a saxophone as a substitute sex doll on his own personal instrument (which he had been doing since August).

So Putin seized the property of some poor snook Russian oligarch whom he suddenly accused of treason and then using the back-door money laundering operations of several major Western banks (to avoid the sanctions the West had imposed on Russia over the war in Ukraine), he
paid the $7 billion to Renfield.

In doing so, Putin was totally oblivious to the fact that it had been Renfield R. Renfield who had abducted Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva from an antique store in Munich, Bavaria in the first place.

And that it had also been Renfield who was the anonymous seller on eBay who had sold Putin some antique Bavarian beer mugs (that the Russian leader had been looking for) back in August.

Renfield had stolen the antique beer mugs from Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva in the first place (she had purchased them for her boss Putin) when he had abducted her from the antique store in Munich Bavaria.

Read all about it here:

http://thevampiresamurai.blogspot.ca/2014/08/renfield-puts-ad-on-ebay.html?m=1

It was quite a relief to Putin when Sophia arrived in Moscow.

(Renfield had sent Putin the cyborg within 24 hours of receiving the $7 billion U.S. in his personal numbered Swiss bank account).

Putin had positively gorged himself on receiving Sophia’s blow jobs.

Plus Sophia had also saved Putin’s life from a CIA trained koala bear assassin who had tried to assassinate him at the G-20 Summit in Brisbane Australia on the evening of November 15th to 16th of this year (a preliminary investigation of the incident by the Russian FSB had determined that the assassin was a koala bear personally trained by American CIA agent Bob Belfor).

For more on the cyborg Sophia’s saving of Vladimir Putin’s life, read here:

https://draculvanhelsing.wordpress.com/2014/11/15/of-androids-and-koalas/

Putin decided to add to his pleasure by putting on a video as Sophia blew him.

The video he put on was an exclusive FSB filmed video (for Putin’s eyes only) of professional Russian Army soldiers serving as “volunteers” in eastern Ukraine using a BUK surface-to-air missile to shoot down Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 back on July 17th 2014.

As the video showed debris falling from the sky and bodies dropping to the ground, Putin came with the full force of Mount Vesuvius erupting in 79 AD.

“Oh, what sweet and joyful ecstasy!” Putin screamed.

Sophia started choking.

That was quite a mouthful for her to swallow.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
during the period
Friday November 21st
to
Wednesday November 26th
2014.

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Renfield Puts Ad On eBay

August 20, 2014 at 3:31 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Puts Ad On eBay

The Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the Russian FSB was being held in an MI-6 owned building in central London.

Renfield R. Renfield had abducted the Russian Vampiress at stake point in an antique shop in Munich, Bavaria over a week ago.

MI-6 were interrogating the Russian Vampiress for detailed personal information about her boss Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Meanwhile the high-ranking elements within the British establishment who had hired Renfield R. Renfield to bump off Vladimir Putin had decided to put their assassination plans on hold for awhile for some reason.

In the meantime, Renfield was sifting through the antique Bavarian beer mugs he had taken from Miss Kireeva that she had purchased from the antique store prior to his abducting her.

Renfield decided to put the items up for sale on eBay.

As Russian President Vladimir Putin checked out eBay looking for antique Bavarian beer mugs, he happened to notice Renfield’s ad.

“Why,” the Russian leader cried out, “those are the very type of antique Bavarian beer mugs I’ve been looking for.”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 18th
2014.

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Renfield Catches A Los Angeles Newscast On Satellite TV

August 8, 2014 at 3:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, Television, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Catches A Los Angeles Newscast On Satellite TV

Renfield R. Renfield was in the Bavarian city of Munich.

He was in Munich because he had heard that the Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the Russian FSB was in the city to buy some antique Bavarian beer mugs to add to her boss Russian President Vladimir Putin’s collection .

Apparently the Russian leader liked to drink his Russian tea with lemon in it out of authentic Bavarian beer mugs (in contrast to a predecessor Russian President Boris Yeltsin who drank Russian vodka out of Russian tea cups while addressing the nation on national television).

Entire samovars were emptied just to fill one of the Russian leader’s large Bavarian beer mugs with tea.

The rest of the Russian cabinet meeting in the Kremlin meeting room had to wait for the samovar to be filled and the water brought to a boil again to have their cups filled with tea.

Renfield was going to abduct the Russian Vampiress while she was out hunting for Bavarian beer mugs.

Renfield happened to have satellite TV in his Munich hotel room.

He looked at his watch and noted the 10 PM Evening News was probably about to start in the Los Angeles California time zone.

Renfield liked watching the 10 PM Local Evening News from Los Angeles because they always had such totally different lead news stories from anywhere else on the planet.

Renfield turned on the TV.

The TV showed a street at night.

A small boy was riding a tricycle on the sidewalk.

Suddenly both boy and tricycle were caught in a flood of car head beams and flashing lights and the sound of police sirens could also be heard.

Commanding authoritative male voice (speaking through bullhorn megaphone) : Step away from the tricycle and place your hands in the air.

The boy-about 3 or 4 years of age- blinks quizzically in the direction of the head beam lights and says “Huh?”.

Suddenly a hail of bullets and gunfire breaks out and the boy’s white shirt turns blood red and the boy falls backwards off his tricycle and falls to the ground dead.

Voice of TV News Announcer: The police shooting video posted online that has sparked outrage among users of social media…

… coming up on KTLA Channel 5 News at 10…

( The KTLA Channel 5 News at 10 logo is then show on the TV screen)

Renfield (scratching his chin) : Hm. That’s interesting.

He shuts the TV off and heads out of the room to begin his assignment.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 8th
2014.

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Renfield’s Phone Call From British Government Official

July 31, 2014 at 3:32 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield’s Phone Call From British Government Official

A high-ranking official in the British government phoned Renfield R. Renfield to ask him how his questioning of Ukrainian Vampiress Inna Huculak (who was in the protective custody of the Mossad) went.

“So,” the high-ranking British government official was anxious to know, “what have you discovered on your recent visit to Israel?”.

“That locusts and wild honey don’t taste as badly as I thought they would,” replied Renfield who was staying at the John The Baptist Inn near the River Jordan.

“I was talking about your conversation with the Ukrainian Vampiress Inna Huculak regarding the Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the FSB,” said the high-ranking official.

“Oh,” said Renfield as he bit into a locust and wild honey-covered tuna fish sandwich.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 30th
2014.

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Renfield In Israel

July 23, 2014 at 2:50 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield In Israel

Renfield flew his Boss’ private plane from London to Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv since U.S. and European commercial airlines suspended their flights there due to a Hamas rocket landing one mile away from the airport.

Renfield was to meet the Mossad agent called The Controller of The Golem.

He would then be taken to meet Ukrainian Vampiress Inna Hukulak who was in the protective custody of Mossad after she had been rescued by Israeli commandos from an FSB interrogation center in Moscow last month.

From Miss Hukulak, he would be given detailed information about Miss Hukulak’s personal arch-enemy the Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva of the FSB.

Miss Kireeva would then be the one to use to get close to Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Renfield’s meeting with the Controller of The Golem had been arranged by MI-6 Agent Diablos Nocturna.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday July 22nd
2014.

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Sekhmet Explains The ET Gray

May 22, 2014 at 6:14 pm (Entertainment, Music, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Sekhmet Explains The ET Gray

Nero Wilson sat in the hotel dining room drinking orange juice and eating pancakes.

It had been a couple of days since he had discovered the ET gray in his hotel bedroom closet.

He found out that the ET gray had been introduced to his band’s lead singer Sekhmet after the open-air desert concert outside Mesa, Arizona by a groupie of the band named Lana who had then made out with the band’s drummer Dave Wilson (stage name Abbott Costello).

Sekhmet had hidden the ET gray in her suitcase telling everyone that it was just a teddy bear a fan had given her.

And so the ET gray had been in her suitcase the whole time they had driven from Arizona to California.

The ET gray had then been in the closet in Sekhmet’s hotel room but he had gone out in the night to take an extraterrestrial leak and when he came back in the darkness, all the hotel rooms had looked the same to him so he entered Nero Wilson’s room and closet by mistake.

Stories about Nero Wilson’s finding the ET gray in his closet had hit the Internet the same way a diarrhea ridden acrobatic knife thrower’s shit would hit the fan.

Of course one good thing about the story was that it made for two sold out performances the past couple of nights at The Tropicana Nightclub a small venue in downtown Los Angeles where his band Nero Wilson and The Cleveland Cleavers were performing.

Plus he had also been invited to be a guest and have his band perform on The Arsenio Hall Show while he was here in Los Angeles as a result of the story about him and the ET gray.

. . .

“I see six young people in Iran were arrested for filming a tribute video to Pharrell Williams’ song Happy,” Amadeus Emanon remarked as he ate his Happy Meal from McDonald’s.

“I suppose the assholes who govern Iran don’t want anyone in the country to be happy,” Renfield R. Renfield replied as he ate his Filet ‘o Fish.

“I suppose not,” Amadeus answered.

Amadeus then noticed that Renfield was booking a British Airways flight from London to Los Angeles on his laptop.

“Why are you flying to Los Angeles?” Amadeus asked.

Renfield winced.

He dare not tell bigmouth chatterbox Amadeus that he had been hired by their boss’ Archenemy the Vampiress Isis to steal a laser death ray gun from an ET gray.

Nor that the ET gray had shown up in Los Angeles according to the Internet’s leading social networking sites.

So Renfield said, “I’m going to see how my porn movie company in Orange County is doing.”

It was perfectly true that Renfield owned a small pornographic film studio in Orange County and he occasionally checked in from time to time to see how they were doing (not to mention personally auditioning young actresses who were hoping to break into the industry).

“Oh I see,” Amadeus decided to change the subject, “that Prince Charles while visiting an Immigration Museum in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada compared Vladimir Putin’s recent actions to Hitler’s actions in the 1930s.”

“He did?” Renfield suddenly turned white.

For it was Renfield’s latest project and goal and dream in life that he be awarded a knighthood from The Queen sometime this year.

Renfield immediately went on to Facebook and unfriended Vladimir Putin.

. . .

“I’m going to kill him,” Russian President Vladimir Putin shrieked and foamed at the mouth to Russian Vampiress and FSB agent Svetlana Kireeva.

“Who?” Svetlana asked, “Charles, Prince of Wales for comparing you to Hitler?”.

“No,” Putin went apoplectic, “Renfield R. Renfield for unfriending me on Facebook.”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday May 21st
2014.

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