An Auspicious Halloween For Baphometa and Her Friends

October 31, 2018 at 10:55 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI had gone to a chapel to pray.

When he entered the chapel, he was horrified to discover that the chapel had been stripped of its altar, its Crucifix and all its religious imagery including its icons, paintings and statues.

A group of gay Jesuit priests serving as advisors to Pope Francis had stripped the chapel of its previous content so they could erect a statue of Baphomet along with all his accompanying religious imagery inside the chapel.

Baphometa the daughter of the demon Baphomet greeted the Pope Emeritus on his arrival.


Good evening, Father Joseph. There have been a lot of changes going on.

. . .

Even Pope Francis was starting to get sick of all the massive round of gay Jesuit orgies that had been going on at the Vatican ever since the Bishops’ Synod On Youth had opened earlier this month.

So he had gone to a friend’s villa outside Rome to get some rest.

And there in the courtyard of the friend’s villa stood the zombie black horse named Bucephalus Reborn (who was the official horse of Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow who took over the Vatican a year ago along with the Vampiric Knights-Templar) dressed as London’s infamous Jack The Ripper to go out trick or treating on Halloween.

. . .

The new Vatican cardinal Samhain Cardinal Salaman was walking the halls of the Vatican far away from the parts where the Jesuits were at large.

Being an intense heterosexual of the Pope Alexander VI Borgia Pope variety, he was getting sick of being propositioned by all those Jesuit male advisers to Pope Francis.

He turned the corner and was greeted by a most pleasing sight:

Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal

. . .

Russian President Vladimir Putin was strolling through the halls of the Kremlin when he encountered the mermaid goddess Atargatis dressed in human rather than mermaid form:


Comrade Putin, the time has come to stop dilly dallying lest people mistake you for Neville Chamberlain. I’ll have you know that at this very hour, Israeli Mossad agents are meeting with the Patriarch of Constantinople to make the autocephalus Ukrainian Orthodox Church of Kiev the most all encompassing and most powerful religious institution in Ukraine.

. . .

The ghost of Scotland’s Lady MacBeth (recently granted leave from the realm of Hades by the Greek god of the Underworld himself) was waiting for Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman as he entered the harem section of his palace and spoke to him as he entered

I am here, oh prince to give you advice on how to deal with the consequences of murder most foul and murder most bloody. Lucky for you that blood is easier to hide in desert sands than it is in human hands.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 31st
2018

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Brisbane’s Archbishop Coleridge and The Slaughter of The Albatrosses

October 3, 2018 at 10:54 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Humour, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Religion, The Occult, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Brisbane’s Archbishop Coleridge and The Slaughter of The Albatrosses

At the Vatican in Rome, Samhain Cardinal Salaman was still in heavenly bliss after spending a night making out with the Vampiress Allatallahbel’s astral body twin double the succubus Asherah who was wearing a sexy nun’s outfit of veil, short skirted habit mini dress and black silk pantyhose.

Pope Francis was still vomiting 🤮 Gadarene pigs’ feet.

He got a Get Well card from Kwan Yin the Buddhist Mother Goddess of Mercy which gave him a recipe for a Korean pork dish with the inscription, “Try this. Korean pork is a lot healthier and less demonically possessed than Gadarene pork.”

At Brisbane in Australia 🇦🇺 meanwhile the pervert friendly and demon worshipping Roman Catholic Archbishop Mark Coleridge was having a dream where he was dressed as an ancient mariner and slaying albatrosses with a cross bow left, right and center.

A group of angry sailors angry that their ship had crashed on the rock as a result of Archbishop Coleridge slaying so many albatrosses ripped the gold pectoral Cross off from around his neck and put a necklace of albatrosses around his neck.

The Archbishop’s gods Baal and Baphomet appeared to him and said they actually preferred the necklace of albatrosses around his neck rather than the Cross.

Archbishop Coleridge went into a pub and downed several pitchers of Carlton Draught.

After doing so, the Archbishop went into a reception hall and stopped a wedding guest from entering the hall in order to tell him his story of the slaughter of the albatrosses.

The wedding guest punched Archbishop Coleridge and sent him flying across 3 oceans into a British Premier League football ⚽️ stadium.

The Archbishop decided to become a hawker of goods in the stadium and went around shouting “Albatross! Albatross!”.

“What does it taste like?” asked a spectator.

“How do I know what it tastes like?” The Archbishop retorted angrily, “It tastes like bloody sea bird bloody flavour.”

“Do you get wafers with it?” The spectator asked.

“Of course you don’t get bloody wafers with it,” Archbishop Coleridge answered as Communion wafers fell out of his ass by the truck load.

“All right, I’ll take that one then,” the spectator paid the Archbishop and the Archbishop ripped the selected albatross off his necklace of albatrosses and gave it to the man.

Archbishop Coleridge was then attacked by a zombie 🧟‍♂️ Norwegian Blue parrot tired of pining for the fjords and so brought back from the dead.

The Archbishop fell from the stands on to the field.

On the field, he was set upon and choked to death by a python 🐍 named Monty.

After kicking the bucket, Archbishop Coleridge was horrified to discover that his idol Pope Francis was wrong about Hell.

Mercifully at the moment Coleridge tumbled into the flames 🔥 while Australian singer Olivia Newton John sang, “Xanadu, your neon lights will shine for you, Xanadu” while the Mongolian Chinese Emperor Kublai Khan stood and applauded, the Archbishop suddenly woke up.

It had all been a dream.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 3rd
2018.

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The Beautiful Lady vs. The Demonic Monster of Samhain

May 13, 2011 at 10:29 pm (Vampire novel) (, , )

Amadeus Emanon was in a small second-hand shop and antique store in London.

He saw a small statue of a beautiful Lady and decided to buy it when he noticed the price was only 5 pounds.

* * *

Later Amadeus dropped by the Set Enterprises Laboratory where Dr. Cadbury Rocher was trying to revive the body of a strange creature that an Irish archaeological team had found in an Irish bog.

When an Irish archaeologist specializing in Celtic folklore suggested the body was of an ancient monster who was worshipped on the Celtic Feast Day of Samhain, Set arranged to have the body stolen and revived as the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set figured he needed all the supernatural allies he could get in the coming war against Isis and also Osiris when the latter returned to Earth in 2012.

As the electrical charge went through the strange white furry looking monster’s body, it rose up.

It came to the laboratory window.

When it saw the statue of the beautiful Lady that Amadeus bought, it let out a fierce cry and disintegrated much to Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s dismay.

* * *

The statue that Amadeus had purchased was one of Our Lady of Fatima.

Coincidentally the Feast Day of Our Lady of Fatima was today May 13th- marking the 94th anniversary of the appearance of the Blessed Virgin Mary Mother of Jesus in the tiny Portuguese village of Fatima back on May 13th, 1917.

This particular statue of Our Lady of Fatima that Amadeus had purchased had been personally blessed by Pope John Paul II back in the year 2000.

When the statue’s owner a woman in her 70s had died two years ago, her son an ardent admirer of British militant atheist Richard Dawkins had sold it to the antique shop where Amadeus later purchased it.

And so the statue that showed Our Lady crushing the head of a serpent had crushed another serpent- one in the Set Enterprises Lab- a demonic monster that Set had hoped to revive.

To be continued.

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